are Egyptians super sensitive in general or is it just my husband?
I don't know what to do with this super sensitive man! Everyday he comes home from work and complains about the most trivial incident! He gets so offended even by the slightets word! It is like he has no shield at all, he takes everything personally!
What is going on??? Have you had this experience? Or did I just marry the man with eternal PMS ? Or what???
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Where do you come from? That could explain a lot, especially if you are western, and he thinks he has a good understanding of English......but really needs more all round practice in the language. This is what happened with mine, but there could also be other reasons.....
Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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Where do you come from? That could explain a lot, especially if you are western, and he thinks he has a good understanding of English......but really needs more all round practice in the language. This is what happened with mine, but there could also be other reasons.....
Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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well i am european and we are living in my country. Of course I can understand that he has having a difficult time adjusting and understanding at work, but it is just too much, I am getting really fed up! english is not the language of my country but they communicate in English at work and I suspect that both partners are misunderstanding each other. But he is so sensitive, he complains and complains and thinks about some word that has been said to him for many days. maybe he is insecure, I dont know what to tell him, I dont want to agree with him always because that just makes him more infuriated!
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In my expierence indeed a lot of Egyptians are the complaining types, and above that, they put a large amount of Egyptian drama in their complainments. In the start I took it all to serious. It all isn't the way we think it is. Besides that, it's a man!!! The moment they arrive on mother earth, they cry and want to get pampered. When they catch a cold, they need extra attention, hot drinks, a cold hand on their forehead, and a lot of feel sorry for you's... Women still do their work, also because nobody else is doing it for them, and go on, men don't. Big generalisation, but many men are like this...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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yeah I really feel that he is being childish, I know that I am about the only one here for him to hear his troubles and worries but he literally takes everything personally! If he has to show his passport in the bank then he is sure it is all racism and that locals don't get the same treatment! He always jumps first to the worst conclusions!!!
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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Hey Anthropos, how you are doing? You haven't been posting for quite a while here on this forum!
Anyway, it's funny that you just figured this out right now how sensitive some Egyptians are.
This board is the best example. I read topics where foreign people made negative comments about Egypt and Egyptians would conter that they don't have to come and are not welcomed in their country.
HELLO??!!
If someone says something negative about my homecountry (which is Germany) I accept it, it's his/her personal view most probably formed by own experiences but I don't act all irrational and tell them not to come here. How stupid! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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i'm doing just fine - just trying to understand my Egyptian man and his mind!
I'm starting to think that actually this anger and rage is all connected with not being able to take responsibility for anything. If he plays football and he doesn't score then it is because someone was 'selfish' and didn't pass the ball! Of coure he didn't play bad at all!!! Arggghhh! I am just really frustrated !!! He can be a sweet man but I woke up this morning to the smell of burnt milk for the 100th time and I just snapped! And his answer was 'What can I do???' that is his solution to everything!!! Well how about trying to make sure the milk doesn't spill over and then of course he will put up the offended face when he comes home because 'I didn't talk to him in a polite way'
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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No, they complain A LOT more than Western men IMO, also the men AND the women are Chronic exaggerators. Get used to it and learn to mumble, 'umm hmm ?' and go on with your day. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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You should hear the way some of the expats here complain all the time about every possible thing too...its a very common trait amongst those living abroad who are experiencing culture shock and not dealing with it very well.
Having said that, it does sound like you have got one who is used to having people running around him, soften the blow of reality, and looking after him, and its a bit of a shock coming out into the real world and coping with it. It looks like you are going to need a lot of patience and wisdom to get through these first few years of your marriage.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: No, they complain A LOT more than Western men IMO, also the men AND the women are Chronic exaggerators. Get used to it and learn to mumble, 'umm hmm ?' and go on with your day.
or...send him back to mama lol lol
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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quote: This board is the best example. I read topics where foreign people made negative comments about Egypt and Egyptians would conter that they don't have to come and are not welcomed in their country.
Some Egyptians are wary of foreigners (mainly from the West)and feel their intention is to replace the Egyptian culture with the Western one.
Kind of like the Europeans who are cautious about Egyptians/Muslims for the same reasons.
Overall, Egyptians amongst themselves are less patriotic and loyal to their country than most foreigners. Try having a discussion with Australians or Canadians.
As soon as you start criticizing Egypt, everybody will jump in and add their own criticism and complaint about the country. You critize Islam......that's a different story.
Posts: 407 | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Anthropos: I have one question for you all,
are Egyptians super sensitive in general or is it just my husband?
I don't know what to do with this super sensitive man! Everyday he comes home from work and complains about the most trivial incident! He gets so offended even by the slightets word! It is like he has no shield at all, he takes everything personally!
What is going on??? Have you had this experience? Or did I just marry the man with eternal PMS ? Or what???
Anthropos, I gotta ask, did you only just notice these things? I'm assuming you've been married for several years.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Dalia*: Btw, I heard the GUC students suck.
They dooooo, I'm leaving soon .
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: OH JAAAAAA??? Fine!!! If you think this way I hope you will never ever visit my country!! We don't want you here, you are not welcomed!!!
Now I am mad mad mad maaaaaaaaaaad!!!!
You are always mad .
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: No, they complain A LOT more than Western men IMO, also the men AND the women are Chronic exaggerators. Get used to it and learn to mumble, 'umm hmm ?' and go on with your day.
or...send him back to mama lol lol
Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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No actually we have not been married for several years, just over a year and most of that time was in Egypt, where I suppose he just complained in arabic to his friends and family and I was in peace!
I guess he is just dealing with culture shock, I am hoping he will change (the classic dream of every wife). He is just a big drama queen, he really is, I love him to death, but I have to face it, he has more mood swings than me and I am pregnant!
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You do hear of husbands taking on the symptoms of their wife when a baby is on the way... Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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if that is the case then how will he be in the delivery room!? we will have to order an epidural just for him!!!
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Anthropos: No actually we have not been married for several years, just over a year and most of that time was in Egypt, where I suppose he just complained in arabic to his friends and family and I was in peace!
I guess he is just dealing with culture shock, I am hoping he will change (the classic dream of every wife). He is just a big drama queen, he really is, I love him to death, but I have to face it, he has more mood swings than me and I am pregnant!
A - here is my useless 2 cruseiros:
I think his , well...'sissyness' is a personality trait and you will not be able to do too much about it unless he quickly gets his s**it together and realizes he is about to be a father and responsible for someone's life for the rest of his days! If you think he is bad now, just wait until the baby WAKES HIM UP (!!!!) in the middle of the night and later he has to go to work without his well deserved beauty sleep! You don't have much time left - act NOW! You must address those issues whether he likes it or not: if he cries, hisses or his head spins around - chain him to the chair during your heartfelt discussion. Lay down the reality check without mercy: baby cries, pukes and its poop stinks as hell. It does not accept burnt milk either. There will be anger and sleep deprivation, as well as periods of no sex and affection when he pleases. And the list of charms goes on. I do not envy you - but there is a chance of saving the marriage and your sanity if you act quick. Under no circumstances do not allow him to complain from now on - he must be hardened before the baby happens. Show support and understanding, of course, but no pity. Make him feel like a strong man who CAN tackle fatherhood. My bestest wishes for the future success.
Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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The funny thing is that everyttime he gets upset over something at work it is because he feels that his manhood has been attacked, and it doesn't help that sometimes girls give him orders! So it is kind of a twist idea about what manhood is, at least from my point, I'd think manhood involved keeping your cool - but I guess the Egyptian manhood involves getting a tantrum!
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Anthropos: but I guess the Egyptian manhood involves getting a tantrum!
? You keep your cool when you need to and you get angry when you need to. One or the other is never enough.
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
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A technique someone once taught me and I have used many times is to not try and problem solve and take all the stress on yourself, but turn the problem back on the person by simply asking 'so what are you going to do about it?'
Somehow it has helped me in the past in not holding in THEIR problems. Sometimes also people get in a real negative cycle and its hard to break out of it. Sounds like he is stuck in one right now. Ask him 'so what was good about the day' and try to get him to elaborate on it more. Then give him loads of attention when talking in the positive ...oh my goodness, men can be like dealing with kids can't they?? lol Good luck, I am sure it will pass
Posts: 233 | From: uk | Registered: Aug 2006
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I have had this, try to help and get all the stress on myself. I really had to get aware of it, because my husband did the same, and we were laying awake thinking and the one who felt so sorry for himself was making new problems. Thats my expierence, many times it is just in the people, they get in trouble everytime again, because of the way they live...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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oh maybe I am having a tantrum myself but I am so screaming mad! Tonight we had a row because apparantely I spoke too much and complained about something and that was getting on his nerves and could not be accepted because; "I am tired" !!!! Oh la la! He works from 8-5 and I am just suppose to bend down and hail him as emperor!!!!!!
I am 31 weeks pregnant, work 40% job, full time masters studies, plus I am supposed to clean everything at home and of course be at his beck and call 24 hours!!!!But it is always just about him, everything!!!! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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Anthropos - Try to avoid arguments. Let it go..you will have to take it easy. It's great you can vent here, venting is needed.
In another few weeks the baby will distract both of you from yourselves!
Here is a tip - talk about the baby! Anticipating the baby's arrival, planning stuff for the baby..it could help. If not, think that soon you will be three, and hopefully by becoming a Dad he will mature a bit more!!
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And that's another thing! I will mostly get all the baby stuff used from friends and family but I want to buy something new and somethings we need to buy........his reply to that is "do you want to fill the apartment with baby stuff?" ....and all he talks about is when we will buy an ipod!!!!!!! AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Karah_Mia: A - here is my useless 2 cruseiros:
I think his , well...'sissyness' is a personality trait and you will not be able to do too much about it unless he quickly gets his s**it together and realizes he is about to be a father and responsible for someone's life for the rest of his days! If you think he is bad now, just wait until the baby WAKES HIM UP (!!!!) in the middle of the night and later he has to go to work without his well deserved beauty sleep! You don't have much time left - act NOW! You must address those issues whether he likes it or not: if he cries, hisses or his head spins around - chain him to the chair during your heartfelt discussion. Lay down the reality check without mercy: baby cries, pukes and its poop stinks as hell. It does not accept burnt milk either. There will be anger and sleep deprivation, as well as periods of no sex and affection when he pleases. And the list of charms goes on. I do not envy you - but there is a chance of saving the marriage and your sanity if you act quick. Under no circumstances do not allow him to complain from now on - he must be hardened before the baby happens. Show support and understanding, of course, but no pity. Make him feel like a strong man who CAN tackle fatherhood. My bestest wishes for the future success.
Sorry you're having a rough time, Anthropos.
I think Karah_Mia gave some excellent advice here; the best thing to do to save your sanity is to confront him with what's going on head on, don't pull any punches, explain the reality of the situation and the fact that this is life and it has to be dealt with without any whining.
quote:Originally posted by Anthropos: And that's another thing! I will mostly get all the baby stuff used from friends and family but I want to buy something new and somethings we need to buy........his reply to that is "do you want to fill the apartment with baby stuff?" ....and all he talks about is when we will buy an ipod!!!!!!! AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
Things will get better once he gets his Ipod I suppose...this is funny!!!!
Think about how lucky u are ...you are not living in Afghanistan!!!! Right? Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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To the girl who sent me a PM: Your mailbox is full, so I cannot answer your question, ok?
Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Anthropos: oh maybe I am having a tantrum myself but I am so screaming mad! Tonight we had a row because apparantely I spoke too much and complained about something and that was getting on his nerves and could not be accepted because; "I am tired" !!!! Oh la la! He works from 8-5 and I am just suppose to bend down and hail him as emperor!!!!!!
I am 31 weeks pregnant, work 40% job, full time masters studies, plus I am supposed to clean everything at home and of course be at his beck and call 24 hours!!!!But it is always just about him, everything!!!! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!
men ...
your pregnant and he's complaining...It's obvious that complaining wont help. Next time he does it, cry.
.....I think that usually works because it strokes the male ego. He wont feel confrontation. Just might prompt him to listen in your weakened state while comforting you then maybe he will realize that he needs to show some compassion.
Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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