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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!' The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly: 'I'll explain the toy. . You explain the kids.'
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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my uncle sends me all theses jokes...u know them texans...bad humor..
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Seriously which couple has "wild, screaming, romantic sessions" in bed after 20 years of marriage????
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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vibrators are better anyway. my friend bought me one for my b-day and it has 16 speeds, the head goes in and out and wobbles and there is a pretty purple hummingbird whose beak flutters on ur u know what.
i was shy to use it, feeling that only girls who cant get a man uses them, but one night i gave it a whirl and omg!
ya, they are def. better.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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A Scot had a wee bit too much whiskey and decided to lay down under a shady tree for a nap. Along came two young girls. They found the sleeping man and since they had long wondered what a Scotsman wore under his kilt they decided to have a peek. What they found was what the good lord had given the man. One of the girls decided it looked a bit plain, so she decided to take the blue ribbon from her hair and decorate the Scot’s manhood with a bow.
The sleeping Scot finally woke to answer the call of nature. As he hiked up his kilt, he spied the ribbon. As he stood there admiring the adornment he exclaimed, “Achh, I don’t know where you’ve been laddie, but I see you took first prize.”
Posts: 3773 | From: unfinished thought | Registered: Nov 2008
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Yes, vibrators are nice...but a word of advice...don't try to 'sterilize' it in the microwave....
Posts: 199 | From: ...under the radar.... | Registered: Jan 2009
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