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Author Topic: When you canīt stand your husband
anthropos
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What do you do when everything your husband do is annoying? Every little thing. How he drinks his tea, where he puts his clothes, just everything. Is it possible to get over this? Is it a sign that the marriage is over?
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bob the dog
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Being annoyed by the little things usually means there's a bigger underlying problem....... Or he's Egyptian!!
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anthropos
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I just find him so annoying lately. Honestly, I can't stand being with him, not even in the same room. I think that there are bigger issues that are the root. Where does one find the courage to get a divorce?
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samaka
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quote:
Originally posted by gyne:
What do you do when everything your husband do is annoying? Every little thing. How he drinks his tea, where he puts his clothes, just everything. Is it possible to get over this? Is it a sign that the marriage is over?

Have been there. Yes I would say that this is a sign that the marriage is over because from then on, everything gets more annoying, however much you try and kid yourself you are happy. You may have to finally admit to yourself that this is not what you really want, which I know is difficult and scary.
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Momma_Dukes
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'tis why I run from marriage:)

I hear you one them things you listed that annoy you...

the tea, my ex used to slurp so bad i wanted to smack the glass right outta his hand and say, 'drink right man!'

the clothes, he used the floor. so i just started throwing his sht in the trash. when he asked me why i said, well if they are things you want why the hell they on the floor, slob?

when he would eat, he would scrap the fork against his teeth...grrrrrr

god men piss me off.

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anthropos
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He eats with his mouth open. Says that otherwise he canīt feel the taste. In the beginning I thought it was amusing. Now I have to put in ear plugs before we have dinner.
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all over but the cryin
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CAnt you just ask him to close his mouth?
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Momma_Dukes
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Ew and I hate how when they all eat together, they pick at the food, and the bread and touch everything and talk while they eat and they food flying everywhere...they do this on the Egyptian movies too and I sit there actually having to look away.

I was at a dinner table with his family once and his mom picked up a piece of fried fish with her hands oiff a plate from the table, looked at it and flopped it back down. I sat there like, EW! I reached for a bowl of fruity pebbles instead.


I remember having to teach his 10 year old brother Nabil how to use a fork and butterknife because they all ate with their hands like cavepeople.

My ex, he wouldnt shower before bed because he said thatit would keep him awake..well im not trying to sleep in funk, so I bought another bed and took over the second bedroom. he also wouldn't brush his teeth on a daily basis (and its weird cuz he has the nost perfect teeth!) and I ended up not kissing him.

he comes to my house yesterday and Im getting aleya dressed...i ask him to hand me her shoes and his lazy ass hands me her flip flops...in 30 degree weather! then he says oh aleya what a nice coat...(referring to the one he bought her) I said, ya...really nice...cheap and thin.

they have no perception of time...10 m inutes really means 2 hours...they cant stick to plans and have to do everything on a last minute basis.
In fact I had to lay into him the day we were going to JFK for their trip to Egypt last month. He wanted to tell me that he needs this and that and im standing there telling him, 'dude! you been planning this trip for 6 MONTHS man! and NOW you decide to tell me this sh*t? Man i am 5 seconds from telling you that you are going alone! You are gonna have to work this out on your own cuz you had 6 months to get your sh*t in order and you decide to wait until 5 hours before your flight to do what you need to do! thats your stupidity problem and you gonna have to work that out cuz im not your wife anymore and im done wiping your ass. you a GROWN MAN and there isnt any reason why you cant do what you gotta do to live your life. if it aint me doin it for you it has to be your wife...boy wtf you gonna do if one day both me and her are gone? you aint gonna be able to do a damn thing! so smarten up man!'

they dont care about how they mess other peoples schedules and time up and it got so bad that i actually began to smack his ass around.
like literally, i would cut him one right across the head just for being an ass.


thats when he had to gooooooooo:)

it sucks for a while right after but then when the smoke clears, you be glad you canned him.
the peace and the tranquility and the order in my house now is so damn wonderful!

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anthropos
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He says that he can't enjoy his food that way. He has eaten like this all his life, I don't think he could change his ways even if he tried.
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weirdkitty
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It's when the things go from endearing to annoying that you know you have a serious problem. And it builds up until it is all you can think about.
If you still feel some love there, then talk together. Perhaps a trial separation? Go right back to the early stages of the relationship, go on dates, etc, and try to build it back up. That bit of distance, where you two are not always around each other, might really help. If not, well then I guess only you can decide what to do next.

--------------------
Another one....

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anthropos
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Yeah MD he is the same with time. He has no idea what it means being punctual. And he has no idea of the disrespect that he shows other people by making them wait for him.
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Momma_Dukes
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girl dont give him a trial separation...he will sleep around...im telling you this from witnessing it many times from others and going thru it myself AND BEING the object the egyptian guy tried to toy with after his wife gave him a'trial separation'.

i gave my ex a trial sep. 3 times...the first time he banged a waitress...and i had to clean that mess up by taking a bat to her car.

the second time, he knocked a girl up and now has an illegitmate son.

the thrid time wed both agreed that me going to florida for a month or 2 would help me forgive and forget and he reassured me that he would wait for me and said, 'i will be here for you when u return.'
a month later my mom calls me and says there is this ugly fat old lady in my house and she walked right in...well my mo went over and actually punched her in the face for me...and now, them 2 are married.
EW! loool

so trial separations dont work. you cant teach an old dog new tricks and these men believe that when the wife is away, they have every right to fukk around.

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anthropos
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I just can't trust or believe him anymore. His stories are all strange and he tells me halftruths. He thinks I am stupid. It is either trial separation or divorce. I am fed up.

Why did I ever think that this marriage would work. What was I thinking. I feel like the white lady there in the film The White Massai. Honestly he might as well be a Samburu warrior from Kenya, he feels so alien and foreign to me.

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all over but the cryin
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quote:
Originally posted by gyne:
He says that he can't enjoy his food that way. He has eaten like this all his life, I don't think he could change his ways even if he tried.

what does he do else?
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anthropos
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One thing that really gets on my nerves is that everytime he comes home he takes off all his clothes and walks around most of the time in his underwear --- why can't he be clothed? He says it is more comfortable like this. And then he leaves the clothes all over.

One thing that astonishes me as well. Why do I keep tidying up after him? Why donīt I just say "to hell with it" like him? I feel that women in general have a higher standard of cleanliness than men. He wouldn't mind if the floor was covered with clothes and the sink full of dirty dishes and the toilet looked like it hadn't been cleaned since World War I.

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Laura
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oh gosh! does he drink out of the milk/juice cartons and use the same knife for the butter, mayo and mustard too?
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Momma_Dukes
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omg are you married to my ex?! loooooool

them halftruths and lies are so aggravazting arent they! its like they will fib about anything and everything.

it can be sunny out and they will still try and tell you its raining...and even if you show the truth in their face they will still lie about it.

i hear you on the underwear thing too....i mean thats okay cuz im known to streak naked lol, but he would leave a trail on the floor from the door to the couch...
shoes
socks
pants
shirt
then he would sit there and read the mail and throw all of it on the floor beside the sofa...he would eat and drop food and just leave it there! and unless i looked at him he wouldnt pick it up.

when i came back from florida, he kept telling me that this old bitch he was with was only a cleaning lady he hired...now when i walked into my house that day i got back, i never seen such FILTH in my life! there was food containers and dirt and dirty dishes with dried on food from a week prior on the coffee table, mouse sh*t all over the counter! the fridge stunk, the trash was overflowing and the bathroom smelled like hell. the bedroom was a mess, filled to the brim with empty booze bottles (he dont drink but my mom said he drank alot when i left...plus he had to get drunk just to be able to touch that ugly thing he began bring around lol).
it took me 3 days to clean that house.

then i went to him and said, 'i thought colleen was supposed to be your cleaning lady? how is she a maid when this house is a trash can!?' i mean she is a woman and even if she isnt the maid could have at leat tidied up.

when i have a man, a BF whatever, I always clean his room and offer to wash his clothes and make him nice food.

but then, the 2 of them are dirty bums so they deserve each other.

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anthropos
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hmmm sometimes he uses his finger even...

I am starting to think he was raised in a barn...but at the same time he thinks it is really disgusting that we in the west only use toilet paper in the bathroom. How strange is the world!!!

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Laura
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and then licks his finger and sticks it back in the jar, or his nose?
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anthropos
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And we live in a 45 square meter apartment. Oh the joy of living in a closet!!! [Smile]
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Laura
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Well look on the bright side, you do have indoor plumbing.
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Momma_Dukes
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no its just that the men western women tend to pick up online or on vacation to egypt are usually the same type of guys you would pick up if you drove in the ghetto in america and snagged a dude with no job no car lives with mom and dad and has baby's momma....but because they are foreigners i guess they think its different.

you have bums and losers in egypt just like you do in the west and if you arent willing to snag one here then dont go snag one there looool...no matter how cute or sexy they seem to be.

i mean, half of these guys are bums slobs woman beaters/cheaters and lazy lying dogs all hidden behind a really pretty face and a sexy accent.

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of_gold
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Don't waste to much of your life being unhappy. It's not worth it. [Wink]


FYI: Your kids will pick up every disgusting thing he does. My older kids get on my nerves. They come over my house all the time and take over. My son explains to me "Your the mom". Right now there is a load of his clothes in the dryer, on the folding table, and another in a clothes basket. Like this is a laundry mat...and this was my favorite kid. [Roll Eyes]

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anthropos
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quote:
Originally posted by Momma Dukes:
no its just that the men western women tend to pick up online or on vacation to egypt are usually the same type of guys you would pick up if you drove in the ghetto in america and snagged a dude with no job no car lives with mom and dad and has baby's momma....but because they are foreigners i guess they think its different.

you have bums and losers in egypt just like you do in the west and if you arent willing to snag one here then dont go snag one there looool...no matter how cute or sexy they seem to be.

That is so true and I got completely blinded by the fairy tale of having an exotic husband. But he does have a lot of potentials. He really does. If only he listenend to my advice...he still hasn't understood that I am always right [Big Grin]
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Momma_Dukes
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quote:
Originally posted by gyne:
And we live in a 45 square meter apartment. Oh the joy of living in a closet!!! [Smile]

you should have seen the places my ex had US living in. i still dont know how you can call yourself a man and cram yourself a wife and a baby into a 2 room apartment where the kitchen is actually in the bedroom...but then again, these men wish to hold onto their money as well as they can so they dont mind living in shabby conditions just cuz its cheap.

i was so happy when i left him and rented me a townhome!

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samaka
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He was probably used to his mum and sisters doing everything for him. Egyptian men are always spoilt this way. He wouldn't understand about doing anything for himself.

If you have fallen out of love, there is nothing you can do to change the way you feel.

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Momma_Dukes
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quote:
Originally posted by gyne:
quote:
Originally posted by Momma Dukes:
no its just that the men western women tend to pick up online or on vacation to egypt are usually the same type of guys you would pick up if you drove in the ghetto in america and snagged a dude with no job no car lives with mom and dad and has baby's momma....but because they are foreigners i guess they think its different.

you have bums and losers in egypt just like you do in the west and if you arent willing to snag one here then dont go snag one there looool...no matter how cute or sexy they seem to be.

That is so true and I got completely blinded by the fairy tale of having an exotic husband. But he does have a lot of potentials. He really does. If only he listenend to my advice...he still hasn't understood that I am always right [Big Grin]
ya but then you have to question....do i have a man by my side or am I just raising a kid?
to me, if i gotta tell a man how to act, dress behave and stuff, its nothing but a huge turnoff. you need a man that has his stuff in order and can treat you l ike a queen at the same time.
anything else dont work.
[Smile]

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Questionmarks
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quote:
Originally posted by gyne:
quote:
Originally posted by Momma Dukes:
no its just that the men western women tend to pick up online or on vacation to egypt are usually the same type of guys you would pick up if you drove in the ghetto in america and snagged a dude with no job no car lives with mom and dad and has baby's momma....but because they are foreigners i guess they think its different.

you have bums and losers in egypt just like you do in the west and if you arent willing to snag one here then dont go snag one there looool...no matter how cute or sexy they seem to be.

That is so true and I got completely blinded by the fairy tale of having an exotic husband. But he does have a lot of potentials. He really does. If only he listenend to my advice...he still hasn't understood that I am always right [Big Grin]
You can't make him change, he has to wants it himself! And if he doesn't want to, and you are not able to deal with him as he is, there are only two options: accept or don't accept.
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anthropos
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In fact I have often felt that I am a mother to 2 children and not just one.

I have had to teach him about everything here. He was basically an infant when he arrived here.

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Laura
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MD may I suggest you start a "Fact Check" file of what you post. You only need to enter a key word and what you previously write should be displayed. It might help you keep your stories straight [Wink]

Oh wait!

You can't because you don't own a computer. (no put down, just something you stated not to long ago, just one of the many instances of your stories not matching up)

Carry on with your fiction [Big Grin]

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*********
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God when I read some of this stuff I really think my other half can't be Egyptian after all.
[Confused]

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Momma_Dukes
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quote:
Originally posted by Laura:
MD may I suggest you start a "Fact Check" file of what you post. You only need to enter a key word and what you previously write should be displayed. It might help you keep your stories straight [Wink]

Oh wait!

You can't because you don't own a computer. (no put down, just something you stated not to long ago, just one of the many instances of your stories not matching up)

Carry on with your fiction [Big Grin]

[Roll Eyes]
when you know me in person, then we can talk.
until then, you can blow your words out of your ass.
dont make yourself look stupid and try to think you know everything about someone you have never even met.

as far as me not having a PC, it doesnt bother me one bit. im a single mother, and i dont have a man paying my bills and buying a new PC when I have a child to feed and rent to pay isnt a priority. my work PC is fine for internet use, and face it the only reason you have a PC is because it's the only way you have a life and people to talk to.
so unlike you freakoids here who live every second online, im actually luckier than you because by not having a PC, i have one happy hell of a REAL social life.

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Laura
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quote:
Originally posted by Momma Dukes:
quote:
Originally posted by Laura:
MD may I suggest you start a "Fact Check" file of what you post. You only need to enter a key word and what you previously write should be displayed. It might help you keep your stories straight [Wink]

Oh wait!

You can't because you don't own a computer. (no put down, just something you stated not to long ago, just one of the many instances of your stories not matching up)

Carry on with your fiction [Big Grin]

[Roll Eyes]
when you know me in person, then we can talk.
until then, you can blow your words out of your ass.
dont make yourself look stupid and try to think you know everything about someone you have never even met.

as far as me not having a PC, it doesnt bother me one bit. im a single mother, and i dont have a man paying my bills and buying a new PC when I have a child to feed and rent to pay isnt a priority. my work PC is fine for internet use, and face it the only reason you have a PC is because it's the only way you have a life and people to talk to.
so unlike you freakoids here who live every second online, im actually luckier than you because by not having a PC, i have one happy hell of a REAL social life.

[Razz] [Big Grin]
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Tahira
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If you fall out of love with him that is one thing.
If he also annoy you with his bad habits then it will make it worser. Y ou Will need to decide to try to fix the marriage or walk away. He is the same as when you marry him only now his ways are not cute any longer but now they are disgusting. [Frown]

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Cheekyferret
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Will his habits ever stop annoying you? becasue if they don't he either has to change; you either have to learn to like them again or you guys have to part.

What are the chances of him stopping his annoying habits and what are the chances of you actually starting to like them again?

Basically where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

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Cosmogirl
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MyMommasDouche said, "so unlike you freakoids here who live every second online, im actually luckier than you because by not having a PC, i have one happy hell of a REAL social life."

Member joined October 2007, roughly 1 year ago. so it plays as follows... including weekends and holidays..
365 Days = 1 year
2001 posts in that year
365/2100 = an average of 6 posts a day every day for a year.
Let's take out the weekends and holidays shall we? That leaves us with 223 "working " days a year when you have acess to your computer, excluding the days you were pregnant and sick afterwards, or days you had to beg off from migranes, or god forbid care for your child.
223 Days / 2001 posts = 8.9 posts AVERAGE per day every day.

Do you really see this as not being online much or not using the internet as a place to have friends or a social life? Especially when a quick google shows the VAST NUMBER of internet sites you spend all day posting to? Not to mention your new internet fiancee in Egypt.

Do you really think you are fooling anyone into believing you have anything OTHER than an internet life?

(boy it sure is my kindof math day isn't it?)

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Momma_Dukes
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...and exactly WHY do you think I care what you are saying?


sorry, your not that special.

you have too much time on your hands...get a life instead of wasting your own on everybody elses business.

and that horsesh*t up there about googling me (i mean how creepy can you be to google complete strangers i will never know) is just that...horsesh*t because this is the only forum i go to...other than egyptliving.com which i havent posted too in about a month now.
add a youtube channel with nothing but videos on it and a myspace page and baby thats about it.



and thanks for the um, weird math equation...its nice to know that i have people out there that wish to spend more time on me than they do on themself:)

keep trying to compensate for yourself honey. youll get there one day.

Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cosmogirl
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You have multiple myspace pages MizzTami, MommaDukes, MissJambi etc etc etc..., and don't forget that potsmoker forums, and the obesity sites, as well as expats, and gosh what other places have you bragged about? Surely you are featured on some bellydancing forums as you are so sought after in Philly.

No need to try, you make it EASY to find the holes in your crap. What is unfortunate is that you aren't entertaining AT ALL. You are hateful, manic, and a nasty piece of work in general. Love to see a pic of YOU at work today... need to run to the bathroom to do it? HAHHAHAHA! You work at a bank.. and they have calendars right? Takes no time at all to divide whole numbers. But then again, your age keeps shifting, as does the years you were in foster care, and the number of sexual partners you have had, your height, your haircolor, and your weight. Simple math really is an issue for you. I am happy to help.

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refreshed
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quote:
Originally posted by of_gold:
Don't waste to much of your life being unhappy. It's not worth it. [Wink]


FYI: Your kids will pick up every disgusting thing he does. My older kids get on my nerves. They come over my house all the time and take over. My son explains to me "Your the mom". Right now there is a load of his clothes in the dryer, on the folding table, and another in a clothes basket. Like this is a laundry mat...and this was my favorite kid. [Roll Eyes]

You are completely right about that.

I take after my father completely, in addition to treating my mother's home as a laundromat.

My father did 98% of the housecleaning while they were married, 16 years after the divorce I do it for her.

It was my father's job to find everything she losses track of , now she calls me at 12am to ask where this or that is since I am the one to do the cleaning its my job to keep track of where she puts her things.

When she has a responsibility to show up for a work function or family get together, or a friend's daughter shower I end up baking the bars, cakes whatever because after working 70 hours a week and passing out in front of the tube after 6 hours of man hating lifetime TV network and 3 - 4 boxes of wine every week, she cannot get the energy together to do it herself.

Today I have to explain to my boss that I might be late due to lines at the poll station and I need to leave early Thursday to clean mother's puppy urine soaked house.

I do her remodeling (small jobs like an entire house of baseboards, patching up the basement's foundation, crawling into a "crawlspace" attic to retrieve dead bats, cleaning gutters, glazing and painting windows, digging up small trees).

And this is the woman who kicked me out of the house at 15. She wouldn't co-sign my student loans and threatened my father with dragging him back to family court to force him to pay my sister's tuition if he dared to co-sign my student loans.

If I don't do these things for her until I leave the country she starts to mess with my life. Calling HR to ask if I have a with holding exception for a child who lives in another country, showing up at my apartment when I am not at home and ask my landlord for the keys to my apartment to retrieve my daughter's personal effects, calling legislators to start extradition of my child and to start the grandparent "adoption" process, calling my in-laws to threaten them and my ex husband, applying to get a copy of my credit report......

I don't have this issue with my father. But according to him I am to obey and respect my mother on her terms.

But for a daughter she disowned she does everything in her power to secure control.

of_gold I am sure you are nothing like my mother but attributing qualities of a former spouse in even a slightly negatively light upon an offspring that didn't chose to be born, didn't chose either of you two as parents and didn't orchestrate the deteriation of your relationship I find it unfair and mean to personify detestable qualities upon the adult child.

I get told over and over again that what she considers bad characteristics of my father, I have, I will have.

Because I am my father's child I was kicked out of the house early like he had been. No support in a form of a signature for student loans because my father paid his tuition (1967) I can do the same (1993) while my mother had all but one semester paid for by her father, so that's what my sister deserves her tution paid for by dad.

Don't attribute your distrust and hate of your former spouses character to your child from that union. It will have consequences you are not able to imagine.

Posts: 277 | From: between a rock and a hard place | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Momma_Dukes
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cosmo, you are getting yourself all worked up for nothing. i dont take it this deep. again you know nothing about me, and as much as you think you do....its all in your crazy brain. you cant call me mean when i dont say even 1% of the nasty things you do and i am constantly fending for those who who put down.
you are ugly you are mean and you are obviously in a bad unhappy life because nobody of class morals and of quality living would behave and treat people the way that you do.

thats the last thing i have to say to your pathetic cold ass. you arent worth an ounce of my energy.


find something better to do , cuz you aint gonna get it with me anymore.
i realized that i am just a dumping ground for some unhappy bitter insane fatslob tattooed crackhead with a hatchet face who cant get her life together.
keep on talking as i know you will do. its only smoke and air cuz you feel salty that i called your disgusting ugly bulldyke ass out. too late.
call me fat call me fake call me blue call me red....its all in your mind. i am just sorry that you cant figure it out for yourself yet.

you hate yourself, and the only way for you to feel like you have any control over anything is to put others down and you just pissed i caught on to it.


fin, bye, salam...
fix yourself...you will find that you will obtain more self love and love for your life thru that channel instead of busting on everybody here for it.

♥ The Whore


*************************************************

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Cosmogirl
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*note to all posters. Take care not to be wordy in your responses to any post, because MyMommasDouche doesn't have time to read it all. Best stick to simple paragraphs about your sexual preferences, or your abusive past.

This site is all about her, and you best respect that! Because that girl will go back and edit her posts until she has herself convinced that she is being victimized AGAIN if you don't admire her whoring ways.

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_
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* note to all members

The original headline read:

Topic: When you canīt stand your husband

Gyne, I remember you mentioned you did trial seperation before. Now it's time for marriage therapy if you don't want to live on like that and don't want to separate either. Do something before it's too late to do anything. I hope there are enough good things in your young marriage left worth fighting for. All the best to the three of you.

~ TL

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Momma_Dukes
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id rather be a whore than an ugly bully married to a fag.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Caterpila
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Gyne - I agree with the very first poster, it because of the underlying problems.

Often when there is something underlying, we find otherways to express our annoyance and pick at other things.

The only way to know whether your relationship can be saved is to deal with the real problems imo.

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Cosmogirl
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quote:
Originally posted by Momma Dukes:
id rather be a whore than an ugly bully married to a fag.

That's what you said to your husbands new wife right?
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Momma_Dukes
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actually she is a very nice lady in fact.
yea she slept with my man, but i didnt want him anymore anyway.

and my ex, even though he was a jerk was more of a man than ur eyebrow plucking red eyed mess is.

and just like my ex is u sing his new wife and just got another girl pregnant on the side, im sure your queer boy is doing the same thing because i dont know one man who would wanna wake up looking at your mad ugly face ... i mean your so bulldog ugly you just LOOK like u stink!

ew i dont even wanna think about it looooool

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Cosmogirl
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You know, Philly is right up the road, care to have a hamburger over at Mama Dukes and settle this face to face? You bring your kid and your x, and I'll bring my kid and my current. We can take snapshots and have some laughs and you can do one of your bellydances for us!
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Momma_Dukes
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loooooooooool

you have got to be kidding me! looooool

now you wanna confront me face to face? like i would really waste my life on you...i have a kid i can barely sit with cuz i work so much and u think im gonna step with some creepy trick from online?

baby this is a WEBSITE it aint that deep boo. it aint that deep.

and ur still ugly.

loooooooool

Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cosmogirl
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Day and time fatgirl, day and time, and it is obvious how taxed you are from work, and did your kid enjoy the trip to Atlantic city? Or was that Me time and she wasn't included as you walked around in heels and fishnets trying to scare up a trick?

I'm just sayin... I am so secure in ME, and MINE I'd put it out there in the real.

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Laura
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pmsl...sorry, never used that abbreviation before but this is certainly the time for it! ROFL
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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