Husband doesn't want to spice things up, just want the same and familiar. He thinks some things are even inappropriate for husband and wife. Me bored.... Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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if your husband thinks that way then your screwed. it takes TWO to tango. if one is unwilling to spice things up then how is it possible. try dressing up in a lace or a sexy out fit. try different spots in the house (kitchen table, the porsh, shower), you can make your own porno . initiate it often. but like i said if he is boring and unwilling, then may god help and save cheating for last.
Posts: 506 | From: Some where on the east coast | Registered: Jan 2008
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Do not dump your husband because of that. Yes sex is an important factor in a relationship/ marriage but not everything just remember that. If he's still affectionate towards you you don't have to worry. Good luck in trying to seduce him!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Tell him to get busy with some foreplay or he will find an empty plate tomorrow at dinnertime! It's all about giving and TAKING!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Yes sex is an important factor in a relationship/ marriage but not everything just remember that.
I think it becomes everything when there are problems. If both are satisfied then it doesn't play such a big part in your relationship. Because you're happy!
TL, you said her good luck in seducing, I understand this is not the problem, there is enough sex but it's not good enough because it seems he is only thinking about himself and his satisfaction, not hers.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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You are not going to change your husband, when he doesn't see the need to change! How important is this for you? Being bored about a detail in a relationship; is this important enough to get divorced? If NO, then stop focous on getting things you cannot get and accept the man as he is...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote: I think it becomes everything when there are problems. If both are satisfied then it doesn't play such a big part in your relationship. Because you're happy!
I agree. People often think it is shallow when sex seems to play such an important part, but like with any aspects of a relationship, if one part is failing, it effects the rest. No one should have to just put up with something that is really getting them down, just because other things might still be good. I couldn't imagine being in a marriage and not being satisfied in the bedroom. Talk about frustrating! I don't know what to suggest other than talking to him, and if he still doesn't get it, then withhold sex. I bet a while without will make him realise just how important it is Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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Withhold?? Of course not! He has just as much right to think this way as she has. You can't force somebody to do things he doesn't want to do...she ALSO wouldn't feel right when HE should force HER... I think when the story should be the opposite: HE felt boring with HER, and to put some extra pressure on her; ignore her to get what HE wants, should be considered as selfish, indecent, vulgar or whatever.HE would get the full load, I'm sure!
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty: People often think it is shallow when sex seems to play such an important part, but like with any aspects of a relationship, if one part is failing, it effects the rest.
Usually it's the case if the relationship is not functioning well it will affect the sex too.
But at the same time I have to say that sex will not stay the same during marriage. You won't fall over each other after 10 years as you used to in the beginning of the relationship which includes also the frequency.
C'est la vie. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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i disagree ?????, he IS being selfish at the moment. The poster is saying inoutinout and then it is over. To me that is selfish, he is pleasing himself without any thought for his wife.
I would say talk to him and explain how you feel, no man likes to think he is 'not good in bed' - i'm sure he will get the message:)
Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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When someone cares only about their enjoyment, and doesn't care that the other person isn't satisfied at all, that is being selfish. If he thinks that all that matters is his own pleasure, then I think she shouldn't give him that. Not until he learns that having sex is about a couple, not about just the man. Obviously talk first, but is he still isn't getting it, I personally would take further action. I wouldn't go to a restaurant with someone who made me eat what they wanted, instead of having anything I like. So why would I have sex with a man with the same attitude?
-------------------- Another one.... Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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Oh come on, don't be too hard on the guy! Anthropos' marriage is still young, they've been through a lot in the beginning.
I think the worse scenario would be if he would refuse to have sex with her at all. Then she would really have a problem.
All what she wants is some spice back in their lovelife. I would think that it was different before, right??
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty: When someone cares only about their enjoyment, and doesn't care that the other person isn't satisfied at all, that is being selfish.
Exactly. And from everything I've read so far about this guy, he seems to be extremely selfish and immature anyway.
So I stand by what I said -- she should dump him. Or maybe take a lover on the side. Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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I am totally against adultery. Too many people these days commit acts like that, even thinking they won't be caught. Lousy poor people without any values IMHO. It's not worth the risk. Why being married then?? It just doesn't make any sense.
And dumping every guy because the sex is not good anymore?? Now that's what I would call SELFISH!!
This married couple has more things to share in life incl. a child. I find it indeed shallow if people measuring the value of the relationship on their sexual activities. Again there is more than sex.
I used to be in a relationship were only that one thing was great and everything else was drama. So I think as long as her husband is caring and supportive of her and the daughter, she can trust him and has a shoulder to lean on she should be thankful. And as I remember their relationship improved a lot over the last months so that's good.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I am very affectionate so I want to hug often outside of the bedroom. Toward the end or our marriage my X confessed to me that I would just have to realize that he got affection from sex....well, he never got "affection" again, then two years later I left him. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I am totally against adultery. Too many people these days commit acts like that, even thinking they won't be caught. Lousy poor people without any values IMHO. It's not worth the risk. Why being married then?? It doesn't make any sense.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I am totally against adultery. Too many people these days commit acts like that, even thinking they won't be caught. Lousy poor people without any values IMHO. It's not worth the risk. Why being married then?? It doesn't make any sense.
From your response I assume you wouldn't mind to do just that?? WOWWW I am speechless.
Some people should just not get married then if they are open to such things.
I heard of other couples who have an 'open marriage' meaning each spouse can have sexual relations with other people. Hell no that is just gross!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: From your response I assume you wouldn't mind to do just that?? WOWWW I am speechless.
i⋅ro⋅ny
[ahy-ruh-nee, ahy-er-] –noun, plural -nies.
1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. Literature. a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated. b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I am totally against adultery. Too many people these days commit acts like that, even thinking they won't be caught. Lousy poor people without any values IMHO. It's not worth the risk. Why being married then?? It doesn't make any sense.
From your response I assume you wouldn't mind to do just that?? WOWWW I am speechless.
Some people should just not get married then if they are open to such things.
I heard of other couples who have an 'open marriage' meaning each spouse can have sexual relations with other people. Hell no that is just gross!!
Oh please tiger. This is the same guy she's posted about over the years where he mentally and physically abuses her, she can't take the cultural differences anymore, blah blah blah.
How do you want people to react when YET another issue is posted about the guy? Of course they're going to put it in the context of everything else they remember she wrote about him.
I'm really fed up with posters who write their personal details on here as if this was a private board or one full of professional counselors who are suppose to reserve judgment - and when other posters/readers don't feign amnesia about the details they've posted on a public board months later... they're quick to cry about how unfairly they're being judged.
Clearly this woman and her husband is in need of private counseling, but she chooses to speak about her muslim husband's sexual preferences and her dissatisfaction on a public board instead.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by of_gold: I am very affectionate so I want to hug often outside of the bedroom.
I would not recommend showing off so much affection when you are on the outside in Egypt... you get into trouble, girl (although tourist resorts are more tolerant)!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by anthrax: what can I do ??
Husband doesn't want to spice things up, just want the same and familiar. He thinks some things are even inappropriate for husband and wife. Me bored....
Suck his cock. That will sure spice things up for him Posts: 406 | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by anthrax: what can I do ??
Husband doesn't want to spice things up, just want the same and familiar. He thinks some things are even inappropriate for husband and wife. Me bored....
Suck his cock. That will sure spice things up for him
JUST IN THE NEWS:
Oral sex REALLY does cause some throat cancers
By Daily Mail Reporter Last updated at 11:46 AM on 08th April 2009
A virus contracted through oral sex is the cause of some throat cancers, according to research It is a fact most men will not want to know, but research has proven that a virus which is contracted through oral sex can cause throat cancer.
A study conducted by Johns Hopkins University has revealed that the HPV virus poses a greater risk in contracting cancer than smoking or alcohol.
posted
Ha ha ha.....surprise, surprise. The research was done by two women who are mostly likely lesbians Posts: 406 | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Shooky: if your husband thinks that way then your screwed. it takes TWO to tango. if one is unwilling to spice things up then how is it possible. try dressing up in a lace or a sexy out fit. try different spots in the house (kitchen table, the porsh, shower), you can make your own porno . initiate it often. but like i said if he is boring and unwilling, then may god help and save cheating for last.
ah that dont always work. i once stepped out in a pricey vickies secret white teddy with the hair done and everything to go with. he looked at me and said, ;u look like a sex movie actress, get that off ur not a bitch.'
i sat on the toilet and cried.
u sure he aint cheating? a downspiraling sex life lack of interest and no mood is very common if he has a piece on the side. he is giving her all the loving and none is left for u.
i mean if ur man is egyptian, thats kind of odd that he doesnt wana spice things up or get kinky.
get abusive with him. when he is laying on his back in bed, straddle him and be like ;ur gona f*ck me good whether u like it or not' and ravage his ass. if that dont do it, hes gay.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by anthrax: what can I do ??
Husband doesn't want to spice things up, just want the same and familiar. He thinks some things are even inappropriate for husband and wife. Me bored....
Suck his cock. That will sure spice things up for him
JUST IN THE NEWS:
Oral sex REALLY does cause some throat cancers
By Daily Mail Reporter Last updated at 11:46 AM on 08th April 2009
A virus contracted through oral sex is the cause of some throat cancers, according to research It is a fact most men will not want to know, but research has proven that a virus which is contracted through oral sex can cause throat cancer.
A study conducted by Johns Hopkins University has revealed that the HPV virus poses a greater risk in contracting cancer than smoking or alcohol.
oh wow. well, guess i know what im dyin' of. i give the best head and i aint gonna stop pleasing my man for no disease loooooool fiddlesticks.
anyway heres how to give it to him good gf.
suck up and down and follow with ur hand wrapped around the shaft and move ur hand with ur mouth at the same time. this drives em wild. he wont be able to resist.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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Just to clear things up, yes me and my husband had problems in the beginning of our marriage. Things are much better between us. People can change! And we have changed both. We are both affectionate to each other. I think I just have to settle with this sex. Indeed it isn't the most important factor of the marriage.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Shooky: moma dukes can u give lessons to my gf
Shooky why can't you give " LESSONS " To your GF? suerly YOU know what YOU like? eh? What works for one does not necessarily work for another Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
Just tell him he is crap in bed and you aren't interested anymore... why do something that is just a chore. He either shapes or ships out.
Sorry, but all you passive submissive types piss me off... just tell him he either tries to at least entertain you or he learns to fly solo!!!
Don't divorce him.. just buy a bunny for you and leave him to satisfy himself which is clearly all he wishes to do.
And as for blaming it on the cultural differences, I have heard it all now! this guy simply just wants wham bam thank you mam and his passport has chuff all to do with that.
Abstain and he will soon come a running (pardon the pun)
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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Just tell him he isn't doing it for you, and unless he is willing to try, you shall seek out some electrical assistance Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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quote:Originally posted by anthrax: interesting responses!
Just to clear things up, yes me and my husband had problems in the beginning of our marriage. Things are much better between us. People can change! And we have changed both. We are both affectionate to each other. I think I just have to settle with this sex. Indeed it isn't the most important factor of the marriage.
well u are a very tolerant woman i must give you that much. for me, once it goes bad, i grow an extreme hatred for the prick and dont even try anymore.
my ex and i was really affectionate in the beginning, he was my first and after we got married, i went to work one day and it was in his uncle restaurant so they were all egyptos. mohsen, this older guy asked me how is marriage and i broke down crying lol he started to laugh and he was like, haha whats the matter sweety? too much boom boom?' with my ugly cry face on i was like, 'uh huuuh'. loool
after a while i didnt even wana touch him anymore because the hitting and the verbal abuse turned me off and after only 5 years of marriage, i wouldnt kiss him or anything. women were like omg ur man is sooooo gorgeous i was like, ya want his nasty ass?
so thats good you guys have become closer. i tend to hold a grudge and couldnt bring myself to fix the marriage. i tried once....near the end....i put his photo up at my work desk, and it actually made me sick to look at. i had to take it down after a few hours.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by anthrax: what can I do ??
Husband doesn't want to spice things up, just want the same and familiar. He thinks some things are even inappropriate for husband and wife. Me bored....
- Buy yourself a dildo or a vibrator and watch a special movie - Take a lover, m/f - Make many trips to check out 'fun spots' - Show him an educational sex movie and tell him what you would like to try - Divorce the bastard, after a speech and an ultimatum: LIFE IS TOO SHORT!
Posts: 5454 | From: Holland | Registered: Aug 2008
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quote:Originally posted by anthrax: what can I do ??
Husband doesn't want to spice things up, just want the same and familiar. He thinks some things are even inappropriate for husband and wife. Me bored....
- Buy yourself a dildo or a vibrator and watch a special movie - Take a lover, m/f - Make many trips to check out 'fun spots' - Show him an educational sex movie and tell him what you would like to try - Divorce the bastard, after a speech and an ultimatum: LIFE IS TOO SHORT!
Good Answers!! Mastrubation is a healthy form of sexual expression and pleasing yourself is important. There are many wonderful sights that have very nice vibrators-Make sure you name it also
Get a sitter, then go to your favorite spot's and pretend your strangers and your hooking up for a quick romp-thats always a fun game!!
There are many things you can do- first thing is lay it right out honestly for your husband and tell him that this isnt right. Sometimes you have to be the teacher and you have a right to sexual gratification-it's his job to do that and if he fails then you pull your friend from the box, make yourself happy and cut him off until he learns that making love is making both happy not just one.......
When your talking about what isnt proper, well if he is muslim the only things he isnt supposed to do is ride the red tide or anal so you should point that out to him also. Everything else is fair game and it's his duty to give you satisfaction. If you chose to be passive submissive and let it stay like this well then that is your problem . Good Luck to you...
Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
IMHO dildos are totally overrated. Nothing is better than the REAL THING coming with a warm masculine body on top of it, below or whereever - as you like!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Well in this case you need to make sure you always have plenty of batteries available!! Enjoy your fake penis!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Hmmm.....I also cannot be with a man who refuses to be loving/giving in and out of bed. I'm very sexual by nature, but I also have to have that mental/emotional connection to be giving and express myself and to have an orgasm.
The first place to start is to start with making sure you are always looking nice for your man. Makeup, nice clothing, sexy at least. Even casual jeans and a cute tight t-shirt with flip flops and your toes/nails done is sexy.
Perfume is a must. Opium, Chanel #5 ( my fav.) is very nice and most men love the fragrance.
Hair and jewelry should be done/worn, even if going to the grocery store.
Most important! Do NOT let your man see you on the toilet taking a dump, cleaning your face, coloring your hair, ect. No burping or farting either. That is a total turn off and no matter how comfortable you are with him, some things MUST remain sacred!
Try talking dirty to him: when he gives you a hug or something, whisper in his ear something like: "you make me so hot"...ect.
Sexy underwear is a MUST! No nasty 'grannie panties" or boring white bras! You will feel sexy wearing it and it will come across in your posture and attitude.
One thing too: don't feel ashamed about taking care of yourself with a vibrator. A woman who knows what she wants and knows how to satisfy herself exudes sexuality and confidence and is a complete turn on for MOST men.
I hope this is some help. Is your man egyptian? If he is, it shouldn't be this difficult to get his "mojo" in overdrive!
Good luck!! Posts: 199 | From: ...under the radar.... | Registered: Jan 2009
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Oh dear god- since when did women go back 70 years to when they always had to look prim and proper for their men???? If you love someone, then you shouldn’t care if they are wearing make up, expensive perfume, etc. It comes to something if even in marriage a woman can't be herself. Oh no you farted, it's the end of the world!! You must be lady like at all time, make sure your nails are freshly polished, your hair set, cheeks blushed (give them a quick pinch before he walks through the door, to give you that extra flushed look)... Have dinner on the table... Read the 1950's Good Wife Guide for all your husbands needs. If a guy doesn't want to please his wife, then it is his job to do something about it, not for you to make sure you always look "nice" (passive submissive indeed!). Would you not please your guy just because he wasn't wearing expensive aftershave, or wasn't freshly shaved??
posted
My post wasn't to put women's lib back 50 yrs...but if a woman lets herself go, then a man's eyes will wander!
Men are visual creatures and will look, no matter if he's happily married and his wife is a hottie.
This post was basically to help the woman boost her own confidence and exude an attitude of sexuality from INSIDE herself, as I mentioned before, a well-adjusted man is attracted to a woman who is secure and confident with herself, and tries to look and feel her best. It doesn't matter if she's a bit over weight or not the most beautiful, it's about the woman LOVING AND accepting herself and her being the best she can be.
Posts: 199 | From: ...under the radar.... | Registered: Jan 2009
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posted
Anthrax.... have you ever tried explaining to him that the 'in out in out' thing just isn't doing it for you?? My ex husband was like that... until I explained that life isn't like that!! Oh.... and NEVER EVER fake an orgasm.... let him know he's leaving you disappointed!! Some men think they're great lovers, when they're actually lousy... usually inexperienced!! Good luck!!!
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Slewth: Hmmm.....I also cannot be with a man who refuses to be loving/giving in and out of bed. I'm very sexual by nature, but I also have to have that mental/emotional connection to be giving and express myself and to have an orgasm.
The first place to start is to start with making sure you are always looking nice for your man. Makeup, nice clothing, sexy at least. Even casual jeans and a cute tight t-shirt with flip flops and your toes/nails done is sexy.
Perfume is a must. Opium, Chanel #5 ( my fav.) is very nice and most men love the fragrance.
Hair and jewelry should be done/worn, even if going to the grocery store.
Most important! Do NOT let your man see you on the toilet taking a dump, cleaning your face, coloring your hair, ect. No burping or farting either. That is a total turn off and no matter how comfortable you are with him, some things MUST remain sacred!
Try talking dirty to him: when he gives you a hug or something, whisper in his ear something like: "you make me so hot"...ect.
Sexy underwear is a MUST! No nasty 'grannie panties" or boring white bras! You will feel sexy wearing it and it will come across in your posture and attitude.
One thing too: don't feel ashamed about taking care of yourself with a vibrator. A woman who knows what she wants and knows how to satisfy herself exudes sexuality and confidence and is a complete turn on for MOST men.
I hope this is some help. Is your man egyptian? If he is, it shouldn't be this difficult to get his "mojo" in overdrive!
Good luck!!
What you're writing as an advice to women, should be an advice for men too. I can imagine a man who smells like sweat, doesn't shower or brush his teeth, farting and other improper behaviour will not be very attractive to his wife. The jewelry and lace lingerie is overdone, imo. It's just about paying attention. When the two are paying enough attention to each other and to theirselves, it is a pro. You can't expect an exciting atmosphere after an evening hanging on the couch, watching tv, without any conversation.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: What you're writing as an advice to women, should be an advice for men too. I can imagine a man who smells like sweat, doesn't shower or brush his teeth, farting and other improper behaviour will not be very attractive to his wife.
I was thinking this too when reading the posts. But somehow it always seems that a woman has to make the effort Men are allowed to be whatever they are.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: IMHO dildos are totally overrated. Nothing is better than the REAL THING coming with a warm masculine body on top of it, below or whereever - as you like!!
Sweetheart, we are talking options here! First order of business is to keep yourself happy before you look for pleasure elsewhere. And some adventurous couples use playthings on each other too.
Posts: 5454 | From: Holland | Registered: Aug 2008
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This post was basically to help the woman boost her own confidence and exude an attitude of sexuality from INSIDE herself, as I mentioned before, a well-adjusted man is attracted to a woman who is secure and confident with herself, and tries to look and feel her best. It doesn't matter if she's a bit over weight
This does indeed sound a bit like old fashioned advice, but there is some truth in there. As a clever woman works on her self, becomes more self confident, works out, expands her mind, present herself in a better way, she might put herself in reach of better adjusted kinds of partners.
A clever feminist noted that marriage is a kind of prostitution and in some cultures men actually purchase a wife with money or a few cows and a goat. Such women should not expect any toying or foreplay at all!
Posts: 5454 | From: Holland | Registered: Aug 2008
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quote: The first place to start is to start with making sure you are always looking nice for your man. Makeup, nice clothing, sexy at least. Even casual jeans and a cute tight t-shirt with flip flops and your toes/nails done is sexy.
Perfume is a must. Opium, Chanel #5 ( my fav.) is very nice and most men love the fragrance.
Hair and jewelry should be done/worn, even if going to the grocery store.
Different people are turned on by different things, and sex is like food. You can’t be rehashing the same boring stuff every night, for fifteen years. You dress it up differently, you eat out together, and you pick up tricks from the people in the know: the professionals. But only if you are at ease with all this play acting and making love in strange places. That’s at the heart of the matter. To change a situation you first have to change yourself.
Posts: 5454 | From: Holland | Registered: Aug 2008
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. initiate it often. but like i said if he is boring and unwilling, then may god help and save cheating for last.
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