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Please I need some serious advice on this matter.
Before I went to Egypt we would talk daily either by IM, on the phone (I called 2 times a day & talked at least 1 hour, if he was with friends he made them wait so he could talk to me), he would text me every night (my night his morning).
When I got to Egypt, we went to a cafe where 2 of his friends showed up. He made up some informal paper written in Arabic. We stayed for about 2 hours and then we immediately went to Alexandria to the flat that was rented that he was suppose to pay for but didn't have the money so I had to pay the money. He said that he spent all his money on the divorce which was final on the day I arrived. I was not aware of this until a few days after I was there.
Everything seemed great. I arrived on June 28th and then on July 5th we finally officially got married legally in Cairo. 10 days before I was to leave to go back to the US, he said he had to go to Cairo for a case (he's a lawyer, so he says) the next morning and to see his father because he was not feeling well. He left Alexandria around 7 PM and I did not hear from him until he came back to Alexandria around 6 PM the following day. I never left the flat while he was gone or if he was not there or with me. I was left alone while he was in Cairo. I didn't know at that time if he was really coming back or not since I didn't hear from him at all.
Then a week before I was to leave, he started to go out several times during the day and a few times in the late night for 30-90 minutes at a time. he left me at the flat and said he was going out for Sheesha and some air. We did get out together at least 1 or times a day walking around and we went to the beach which was a 5 minutes walk from the flat. But we mostly went to the beach at night or in the middle of the night.
All seemed ok except he was getting calls from him ex wife about every 10 minutes or so and they were fighting all the time on the phone. It really ruined it for me cause he was in a bad mood at the time when done talking to her. After I got back to the US, its been about a month now, he quit sending text messages, when I would call to talk to him we would only talk for maybe 15 minutes max., although we agreed while I was in Egypt I would lower the amount of times I would call to save money, he always said he was with friends, going to work, with a client, too tired and going to bed, something he was always doing but couldn't talk to me.
However, when I would talk to him online and he said he was going to sleep, he logged out of Yahoo and signed into a site he belongs to (more of a place for meeting and dating people) and would be there for up to 1 hour or more.
Then 2 weeks ago he said he had something to tell me. First he said he was being pressured to take his ex wife back for the kids sake. That was just after I returned home. He wanted to know if I had a problem with this and if it will affect him coming to the US. Then a week ago he said that his ex had found a new man and he was getting the kids that Thursday. But later in the conversation he said: "Even if she comes back to live with me, that doesn't change things with us. He always says he loves me, he wants to be with me, he will leave the kids there with his family and all to raise he just wants to be with me, he can't live without me. he never took me to meet any of his family. I never got to go to his father's house. When I would ask him about it, he said well they really don't speak English and it will be hard to translate back and forth. However, after i got back to the US, he told me why he didn't take me there. He said that his ex wife was staying at one of his father's flats at the house and he didn't want it to cause problems. He said she left to go to her mother's a few days before I left to come back to the US. He said the divorce from her was final on the day I arrived. he said it was around 2 AM when it got finished. I arrived around 4 PM that day.
I do love him with all my heart. But I get the feeling he is hiding things. I don't know why he would but I just know it. If I ask him about anything, he just says: "Why all the drama? Why are you acting like KGB? Just know that I love you. Even if it take 5 or 10 years for us to be together." I asked him about getting the marriage certificate picked up & getting it translated into English and then sent to me so that I can file papers here in the US for him to come here. But he always has an excuse why he hasn't done this.
Personally I think he is just too broke to get the papers. Or maybe he has not intention in coming to the US, if this is the case, then why the heck did he get married to me?? I am so confused. I just can't take this anymore. Please give me advice without mocking me. Oh and something else, I asked him who he was talking to at this mocospace website, he says he just goes there to check him email there and that's it. But if that is the case, why is he there for an hour or more. All the people in his friends list are women. And all of their accounts, except mine, are all private so unless u are friends with them, you can't see their profile. I also asked him why he had so many women in his Yahoo IM (over 30), he said they all asked for his IM at one time or other and he said in Egypt it is not polite to reject an accept request but he swears to Allah he is not talking to any of them, yeah right.
So please with all this and it is all the truth and how it happened, am I wrong about things? What do you think of all of this? I want your honest opinion on this matter please. Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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Heck my eyes hurt now after reading all that use a few paragraph's for us oldies!
poohbear3117 you know you own answers without any of us telling you...., you know he is a liar, you know he is a cheat and 100% for sure you know none of this is making you happy.
Life's too short for all that crap.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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So tell me why is he "stringing me along" per say? Why doesn't he just leave me alone and let me get divorce from him? None of this makes sense to me as to why he is doing what he is doing.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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oh and if you think he is slow is sorting his paperwork out to get things moving, that's normal for Egyptians, they dont work like westerners, time has a different meaning for them.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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He's lying. He is chatting with all those women. And I don't believe for a minute he was divorced.
Anyway, he will have to take the translated marriage paper to the US Embassy in Cairo, because they must notarize it there. This will be an additional expense and step for him. It is normal for Egyptians to move slow.
But it does make sense that he is stringing you along. It makes perfect sense - to him. Start thinking like these scheming Egyptians guys and not like an American woman. Then you will see it makes sense.
I kind of agree with Penny. I think he is using this as a marriage "on paper" only to get the visa. Then when and if he gets it he will surprisingly move the ex-wife to the States with him.
My advice - get rid of this one ASAP. Don't waste any more of your time, money, or energy on him. Trust your instinct.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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Must have costed you a fortune, this gentleman...phonecalls > 1 hour twice a day, a trip to Egypt, a marriage, renting an appartment, costs of living... When he indeed is a lawyer, he won't be a good one, because they have an income... When indeed he is Egyptian, he would know that this isn't exactly acting by the norms and values of his society... I think he didn't lie when he said that he cannot live without you...you're his own private cash-dispencer! His own private life-insurance... His own private financial guarantee for a better future...
Hey Poohbear, shouldn't you introduce your new husband to your parents when he would be there? Wouldn't you try to spend as much time as possible together? Wouldn't you do your best to make everything as clear as possible, because it would be important to you how he thinks, wouldn't you try to prevent misunderstandings? Wouldn't he be IMPORTANT to you???
I think you already know your answer...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Yes I know my answer and everyone tells the same. I also discovered now why he married me. It wasn't to be his bank, he knew that I didn't have much money. He reasons is to get a green card. He said that a man he knows married an American woman from CA and this man told him that he only married her so he can get a green card for the US incase he ever decides to come to the US. He said this man told him he got his Green Card there in Egypt without even coming to the US. I didn't know they could do this?? Is this possible?? If so, then I know why he got so angry when I told him I wanted a divorce and why he is trying to act so sweet now. Can someone find out if it is possible for them to get a green card there in Egypt without coming to the US? It maybe possible since he is a lawyer and he always says he can get away with anything there, I am sure of that too.
But anyways, yes I know the answer. I just wanted to be sure. Now I have to find out of by US standard that I am married or not. I know by Egypt standard I am. We got married by the Ministry of Justice in Cairo. We followed every step that was required by the US Embassy in Cairo website. If by US standard that I am married to this man, how can i get a divorce if he is there in Egypt and I am in the US.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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You are married and you will have to see a lawyer in US about a divorce but I would contact the Embassy in Cairo first and warn them this guy is a scammer that might be trying to come to the states.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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You are married legally in both US and Egypt as you went through the embassy and MOJ. You can take a divorce in US and make sure you inform the US Embassy in Cairo what has happened to you so he can't do it again or make any progress with imigration papers. You will find the US Embassy is well aware of how much this is going on. In fact a short while back they stopped issuing papers for women like yourself to be able to get married in Egypt.
By the way he is very unlikely to be a lawyer all that BS about taking his divorce at the 11th hour before you arrived is rubbish. It doesn't happen like that.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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If an Egyptian marries an American and the American lives in the US the Egyptian could file for immigration through the US Embassy. This is called Direct Consular Filing (DCF). Even if you file though a US Consular office, the Egyptian would have their interview in Egypt and would be issued the immigration visa through the Embassy in Egypt. However, I don't think the actual green card gets issued until he enters the US at a Point of Entry (POE) such as the airport. I'm not sure if there are cases where the Green Card is issued in Cairo, because in order to have Green Card he must intend to live in the US. Many stay in States for a few months, get Green Card and then go back to Egypt but in this case he is risking losing his Green Card since this in considered abandonment of status.
The only other way (without marriage) is through the Green Card Lottery, but this way is extremely difficult.
The funny thing, that I'm sure most of these guys don't understand, is that just because you married does not guarantee immigration. You, as the petitioner, become his sponsor. You have to prove an income of over $30,000 (USD) or you will have to get a co-sponsor. Many of these guys know this and this is the precise reason they go after women who they think have money either through employment or in the bank. If you are spending all this money on phone calls and trips to Egypt - he probably thinks you have money. Maybe even more than you actually have.
If you got married at MOJ then you are legally married by US Standards. If it was an Orfi marriage you could have just ripped up the paper and been done with it. But the fact that you did it at MOJ (even though it was not translated yet) is a bit more of a sticky situation.
I found this out because my husband and I were married in Cairo. We did not think that made us married in the US so when we went to Florida last year we tried to go to county clerk and have another marriage performed there. The clerk told us if you are legally married in another country - you are considered legally married and we were not able to have a second ceremony there. If we wanted to renew our vows we could do so, but without a marriage license being issued since we were already issued the license in Cairo through MOJ.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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Actually talk to a lawyer in US, you may just need an anullment as he was clearly not free to marry you.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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You may need to get your hands on a copy of the marriage paper from Cairo in order for an American attorney to proceed with a divorce. If he hasn't sent this to you yet, it is unlikely he will do so or cooperate with you in anyway now that he knows you want to divorce him.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: Actually talk to a lawyer in US, you may just need an anullment as he was clearly not free to marry you.
But the marriage took place in Egypt and he was free and clear in Egypt. He can have 4 wives in Egypt.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: You are married legally in both US and Egypt as you went through the embassy and MOJ. You can take a divorce in US and make sure you inform the US Embassy in Cairo what has happened to you so he can't do it again or make any progress with imigration papers. You will find the US Embassy is well aware of how much this is going on. In fact a short while back they stopped issuing papers for women like yourself to be able to get married in Egypt.
By the way he is very unlikely to be a lawyer all that BS about taking his divorce at the 11th hour before you arrived is rubbish. It doesn't happen like that.
Actually, when the Embassy stopped issuing the affidavit it was due to a paperwork backlog not to prevent marriages like this. However, what was happening to many women when they first went to the Embassy (if there was a doubt about the marriage) is that they would be lectured about all the problems that can arise from this and the Embassy stresses that it is not able to help you after the marriage takes place.
It did not happen to me, but I know a woman who was lectured in this manner by the Embassy. They did get tired of women getting married on Friday and then running back to the Embassy on Monday for help to get out of the marriage.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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Yes he is stalling in getting the papers to me. he just keeps saying he will get them but he has not. When I ask again when he will get them, he gets angry and says I am being suspicious. Gees, I just asked for the papers so I can file for him to come here and I told him that. If I can prove he is not divorced from his so called "ex wife", the marriage is not legal by US standard.
U.S. law does not allow polygamy. If you were married before, you and your spouse must show that you ended (terminated) all previous marriages before your current marriage. The death and divorce documents that show termination of marriages must be legal and verifiable in the country that issued them. Divorces must be final.
He never showed nor brought divorce papers when we got married. No one in Egypt asked him for this. I was with him the whole time and everyone spoke in English. But they did ask me for my divorce papers & yes I showed mine.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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Well, you are right about that. He could be legally married in Egypt, but would never gain status in the States with more than one wife. However, I don't know if they check that at all. Like you said before, no one in Egypt will ask. I had to provide my divorce papers, but nothing is asked of the man. You would have to make an issue of that with the Embassy and say you did not know this prior to your marriage. This would most likely nullify his request for immigration since this is illegal in the US. However, if you were planning on living in Egypt, it would not matter if he had other wives.
Also, lawyer in Egypt do not carry the same respect and prestige that they do in the US.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: Well, you are right about that. He could be legally married in Egypt, but would never gain status in the States with more than one wife. However, I don't know if they check that at all. Like you said before, no one in Egypt will ask. I had to provide my divorce papers, but nothing is asked of the man. You would have to make an issue of that with the Embassy and say you did not know this prior to your marriage. This would most likely nullify his request for immigration since this is illegal in the US. However, if you were planning on living in Egypt, it would not matter if he had other wives.
Also, lawyer in Egypt do not carry the same respect and prestige that they do in the US.
thats funny my husband had to show his divorce papers before he could come here and yes they do check to see if you or him were married before.that was one of my hold ups getting his visa . so they do check Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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You don't need a lawyer, go to the courthouse and pick up the required papers, you haven't had children and he doesn't need to be a participant in the divorce filing. It might take longer because he will not be a respondant or you may find it is easy as pie. But Egyptian marriages are recognized in the US and thus you can divorce in the US without him. Find out from the courthouse if you have to have a copy of the marriage certificate. I didn't need one when I filed but my situation was different than yours. If I had done it before we had a baby I'd be free and clear and never looking over my shoulder. You are being taken advantage of, and lied to and I will say this to you, "You aren't the only one sister" as for the stringing along... I get it too STILL and have decided that pretty much every word my STBX says is a lie, and that even he doesn't understand or have any control of it. They (liars) prey on people who have "hope" and there is no long term goal or plan.. it's just a series of stones in the river and they are hopping from rock to rock making things up as they go along because when the magnitude of their "body of work" is exposed it is staggering at how thoughtless and cruel they have been. After he gets done trying to lull you back into being passive (and face it you were very passive in Egypt) you can expect him to start asking you for favors, or to solve problems, or to believe him. Then he will get angry. Don't let yourself be controlled by your own sense of honor or duty. A husband would live beside his wife from the day of their marriage, and no new bride should ever ever have to make a "deal" to not communicate as frequently. Nor should you be "sherlock holmes" and track him around the internet.
Pooh, I married a man who grew up in Cairo (we met in the states and travelled back for our wedding) and not only was there a "press line" of brothers waiting for us at the airport, the first stop on my trip wasn't the comfort of a hotel shower, it was sitting in the one airconditioned room at his Moms house with 40 million people staring at me and babbling inscessently in arabic and english. AND MINE WAS A MOTHERFUCKING LIAR as well. Who cares if he is or isn't married with kids in Egypt, you are obviously sitting in the US, alone and hurting and he isn't helping you feel comfortable or safe. And FOR REAL he won't pick up and leave his children in that shithole armpit and come to live in the US without them. You get him to this country, and that whole line of DNA is going to come with, he might even say his wife is his siter and she is coming to help with the children.
See, sometime I think internet relationships are one big dare. He started with you and you kept upping the ante, I am sure he never thought you'd actually SHOW UP looking for a lifepartner, and when you actually went through with it he had to act the part, and your being so passive in person let him behave whatever way he wanted. Why wouldn't you put your foot down and demand to be loved and respected? Or at least .. at the very least.. get to go to the beach during the DAYTIME. The gals here who have survived and built sucessful marriages off the internet have men who just ADORE them, and who came to marriage prepared to put her first. And the work these women have done is staggering and fearless.
Sounds like you had a big life experience and only you can say how you want to sort things out, but couldn't you get as much heartbreak from some dude 2 towns over? And to be objective.. take a good long look at the character of this man, now imagine meeting an American guy with limited language skills, negligible education, spotty health and dental history, a man who would divorce his wife and children mere hours before he'd pledge to marry you, a guy with a cache of internet relationships and you'd hightail it out the door before he even ordered lunch.
You can't save the world, and you can't fix this guy. He is who he is.. and it sucks to admit to yourself that perhaps there is something broken in you that would seek out such an impossible relationship, and overlook so many callous and rude things he has said and done to you. Be fearless and smart, and try to let go of regret. You are married on paper only... and he isn't interested in converting that to a solid loving monogamous marriage. Stop compromising your dignity by even trying to understand the "why", there is only one answer to "why".. because you allowed it and it's his nature.
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river. The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"
"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.
"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"
"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"
"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.
"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.
"I could not help myself. It is my nature."
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...
Lengthy post.. but my heart is in it.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: Well, you are right about that. He could be legally married in Egypt, but would never gain status in the States with more than one wife. However, I don't know if they check that at all. Like you said before, no one in Egypt will ask. I had to provide my divorce papers, but nothing is asked of the man. You would have to make an issue of that with the Embassy and say you did not know this prior to your marriage. This would most likely nullify his request for immigration since this is illegal in the US. However, if you were planning on living in Egypt, it would not matter if he had other wives.
Also, lawyer in Egypt do not carry the same respect and prestige that they do in the US.
thats funny my husband had to show his divorce papers before he could come here and yes they do check to see if you or him were married before.that was one of my hold ups getting his visa . so they do check
I mean they don't check in Egypt prior to getting married. But for immigration matters it might be a different story. At this point they will want to know for sure. I'm sure the Embassy would check then. But I was talking about here in Egypt when we went to the Embassy to get affidavit prior to marriage, they asked me for my divorce papers, but did not ask him if he had even been married before. And Ministry of Justice never asked him either.
If you plan to immigrage with your marriage paper then you can't have more than one wife, but if they were to live in Egypt no one would ask him to show divorce papers.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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The plan was that he would come to the US to live. When I said something about me living there, he stated that since he lives with his father I couldn't live there. He said the area he lives in do not like foreigners and I would be out of place there. He said so if need be we could live in another country together. He said but only if the US did not allow him to come here. Anyways, I will talk with the Embassy here and tell them that I was told he never got divorce from his wife and I will ask if the marriage can but nullified immediately. All I want is a divorce and be rid of him forever.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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The only thing I can think of is he wants a green card, if this is not it, then I have no idea really.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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"American Muslim woman married Egyptian Muslim "
I just want to add dont think because you're also Muslim the slime wouldnt do this to you for his own gain, he would.
Cosmo, brill post again girl!
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by poohbear3117: The only thing I can think of is he wants a green card, if this is not it, then I have no idea really.
The problem is you have spent so little time in Egypt and not visited where he lives so you have no concept of where he is coming from or the reasons why he would do such things. Any area that is not used to foriegners living there is going to be fairly backward and he probably sees a green card to America as his way out. The problem is men from these sort of backgrounds do not adapt very well to Western society and have no idea what its really like. He may say he is a lawyer but that probably means he went to University and got a law degree as they all then seem to call themselves lawyers, even though they have never been able to take the next step and actually progress to any proper job or training. By the way law degrees are considered one of the lowest course in Universities in Egypt.
Consider you have had a lucky escape as you would have had a huge & costly uphill struggle for him to come to America and then it always seems to be that women end up more like a mother to the man as he tries to adapt into their society, find work, education etc etc and even then any money he does earn all gets sent back to the family in Egypt.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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The reason I didn't visit where he lives is because he would not take me there for reasons only known to him and the area he lives in I was told that it is a good area and they accept foreigners there. He live is Cairo, Shoubra Al-Khiema area. But we stayed in Alexandria during the time I was there. According to him, he has been practicing law since 1993 and has appeared in court thousands of times.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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He's a steaming hot piece of donkey ****. Get rid of him, and get rid of him right now. Don't waste another penny or second of you life trying to salvage anything, make excuses, what ever might be going through your head because, really, it's not going to get any better.
Think about it. If an AMERICAN man did these things to you, would you find any of it acceptable? No, of course not, for the very same reasons they aren't acceptable from POS.
Comes and goes in the dark. Takes you outside like he's walking a dog. You never meet his family. He stowes you away in a different city, hours away from anyone who might recognize him. Too broke to pay for your accomodations. Doesn't put on the COMPULSORY wedding party.
That's only the start of MY list.
Sure his wife has another man. He can't REMARRY her until she marries and divorces someone else.
Stop making excuses, cut contact, do whatever you have to do legally (annulment, divorce, whatever) and MOVE ON.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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I think you've got some really good advice from the posters here Pooh. I agree you should wipe this arsewipe out of your life and move on. I know it's really hard and you want answers, but sometimes you can't get the reasons why someone has treated you the way he did. Just be thankful you don't have any ties to him and concentrate on getting your head back together. The guy is pond life and he doesn't deserve you.
Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008
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This whole thing is so sickening I can't stop myself.
Like Cosmo, my debut in Egypt was met with fanfare. There were at least 50 people, friends and family, at the airport. Not only that, a couple of the nieces were holding a WELCOME BANNER with our names on it.
Ugh! The idea that he stuck you in a flat, alone, one that you had to pay for, then ... then ... then. Oh, I hate to be part of the ES Red Flag Brigade but this whole thing stinks and it stinks bad.
You know, there are a lot of really great Egyptian men here. There really are. Sweet, sincere, treat their wives like queens - if they're lucky enough to afford one. Those should be the standards you accept, not those of an obvious visa wh0re.
I feel so sad for you.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by stayingput: He's a steaming hot piece of donkey ****. Get rid of him, and get rid of him right now. Don't waste another penny or second of you life trying to salvage anything, make excuses, what ever might be going through your head because, really, it's not going to get any better.
Think about it. If an AMERICAN man did these things to you, would you find any of it acceptable? No, of course not, for the very same reasons they aren't acceptable from POS.
Comes and goes in the dark. Takes you outside like he's walking a dog. You never meet his family. He stowes you away in a different city, hours away from anyone who might recognize him. Too broke to pay for your accomodations. Doesn't put on the COMPULSORY wedding party.
That's only the start of MY list.
Sure his wife has another man. He can't REMARRY her until she marries and divorces someone else.
Stop making excuses, cut contact, do whatever you have to do legally (annulment, divorce, whatever) and MOVE ON.
i never understood y the women have to remarry just to marry the same husband again.is it cas if the alimony payments or what?seems that law was written for mens protection not the womans.. does the man have to remarry again just for the first wife as well?
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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lies begin when he tricked you and made you pay for the appartment,and lies continue in the wholw story
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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Stayingput I had the same experience when I went to Cairo to meet Sam's family. There were about a dozen relatives in his parents apartment when I arrived and after that I was taken to the grandamas house, the aunties, the uncles, the cousins house, introduced to everyone. I even stayed at his parents house at their insistence no guest of theirs was going to be staying in a hotel while in Egypt
It stinks to high heaven that Pooh wasn't taken to meet his family seeing as how Egyptians are so family orientated...It makes me feel sad too because I'm married to the loveliest man I ever met in my entire my life and I can't say a bad word against him then I hear these stories from so many women having awful experiences with Egyptian men it makes me feel really angry because it could just have easy as been me in a situation like this seeing as being in love can make you so blinded to the reality of the situation
Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008
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Tina a friend of my husband has divorced his wife two or three times, I forget which and I can't check because I'm not with my husband but basically this friend of his is on his last chance, if he divorces her again she has to remarry someone else and divorce him before he can remarry. the first husband . a very weird situation but then so is remarrying the man who saw fit to divorce you twice or three times in the first place.
Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008
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Yes and I was so nieve to fall for it all. He is and was a very sweet talker. I truly felt like he loved me and I was scared a bit about saying no to him. But live and learn and I learned the hardest way possible. Thank God I can not have anymore kids since 4 years back so there is no problem there. And yes he knew of this as well in advance.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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Pooh, You aren't alone, and not to diminish your situation.. this was NOT "learning a lesson the hardest way possible". You are alive, and able to start today fresh. Even as you struggle through this God is busy working in someones life, a man who is in as much of a tornado as you are in order to make him ready for you, special unique lovely wonderful you. God will suprise you with a love more wonderful than you can possibly dream of. You can take that to the bank.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: Pooh, You aren't alone.
Still letting the twat be a part of your life??? KICK him once and for all in his balls and drag him to the plane and by him a 1 way ticket back to EGYPT. Tell your son about his dad when he gets older and let him choose if he wanna have any contact with the twat.
Posts: 1325 | From: For tooti http://www.csa.gov.uk/ | Registered: May 2009
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Tibe, hun no he has gone back to his other woman, and has new girls on the side as well. He traded his lovely wife and child for a 40 year old unemployed mother of 3 who lives of her ex-husbands money.
Me? I'm just coasting on the breeze, keeping my eyes to God, and my shoulder to the grindstone, enjoying all the money I'm saving not having to clean up after his life messes. Plus.. I get to play with my little one every night for 3 hours before he goes to bed. I WIN.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: Pooh, You aren't alone, and not to diminish your situation.. this was NOT "learning a lesson the hardest way possible". You are alive, and able to start today fresh. Even as you struggle through this God is busy working in someones life, a man who is in as much of a tornado as you are in order to make him ready for you, special unique lovely wonderful you. God will suprise you with a love more wonderful than you can possibly dream of. You can take that to the bank.
so true cosmo Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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Hello all, It is just by chance that I logged in today because I was going to publish my Egyptian husband's name. Yes....I was an American Muslim who married an Egyptian...really loved him. He set a trap for me and I got caught. When I read that sister's post at the top of the page, my blood ran cold. We are dealing with some serious stuff here. We have to help this sister stop this man from getting the VISA. I was living in Egypt and filed there then returned to the States and later he joined me when he got the stamp in his passport. He got a temporary green card a couple of months after arriving and just made the two years to get a permanent green card. He got it this past April. In May he took copies of my passport and other papers so that he could file for citizenship.(You can file for US citizenship after 3 years if you are married to a citizen)and in July he presented me with divorce papers -uncontested- for me to sign. I had no idea that he was going to divorce me. I was shocked. We had our ups and downs like any other married couple. Of course, I did not sign the papers. Now I know what I have to do. It was all deceit,lies, and secrecy. He gave me the same story about his parents. It is too much to give the details of what I went through with this man. These schemers are cold, calculating and desperate.If they got married through the Ministry of Justice, her marriage is legal in the US. This is what these Egytians are doing now. This guy who the sister married is showing the same patterns as my husband. Look, I sent her my phone number so she can call me. I want to tell her my whole story. I think my husband may also be bisexual. I have evidence. The young man I married was from Beni Suef. His name Mostafa Mohamed Hussein. Now he goes by the name of Mostafa Mohammed Maged. I have nothing to hide. Thank God....she decided to ask for advicce.
Posts: 19 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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quote:Originally posted by safarah: This is what these Egytians are doing now.
Yup.
Here's how it goes: Lures her over here with all of the smoldering promises of a happy, loving life together. Marries her right away and makes sure to get lots of pictures and videos of the wedding party, the wedding party stuffed full of his friends and the families of his friends, not even his family because she won't know who anybody is anyway and this way his family won't know he's married. Gets her to suffer through it for six months until she meets the residency requirement. Six months and one day later, they're both at the Embassy (wedding party pictures and videos in hand) filing the papers. Once that's over, he ships her back home to set up the love nest, sits back, and waits for his walking papers to arrive.
As soon as he's on US soil, he's home free.
Ten year green cards are nice, but citizenship (without the encumberance of an American wife) is even better because he's free to travel the world, including back to Egypt where he can either marry that virgin cousin who has been patiently waiting, another one or two or three or four because he's entitled to and can now afford them all, or re-marry the one he divorced before he hooked the newly-devastated American.
This is so common it's impossible not to smell it in the air.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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not posted in a while - but poohbear -please listen to these people they have invaluable advice - there is a pattern, something these guys learn to the letter. You have been targeted and unfortunately you dont want to believe it.. You will see if you re read everything that this guy is not worth heartache or any more of your precious time - he kept you isolated for a reason -he didnt want people to warn you, his wife was obviously giving him a hard time because you wer eon the scene too long - he had to make excuses to you in order to see her .- maybe take back some cash. Please move on with your life. the scorpion story was just as it is - they dont care -
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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just a question... if u had a child in the same situation what would yr advice be to him or her??? and do u think u are such a bad person that u would let yrself be second best?? no women should be treated less that a queen in her home. if she is then he is worth nothin...i have and always been the queen of my home and no man on this earth or where ever will make me any less i am worth so much more than being second best to any one.....good luck in what ever u decide. but keep in mind that first question.. if u answered that in yr mind that u would make her drop him then u have yr own answer.....
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Thank you everyone for your advice. Yes I will tell him I want a divorce. My understanding is that he must give it to me without question. If he doesn't, I can get an anullment here in the US since we haven't been married but just 5 weeks. He did tell me the other day this:
He said: I found a way to divorce my wife on paper but I am still married to her. I asked him what he meant and he said that for US laws, he got a paper for divorce but in the eyes of Allah I never said divorce and in the eyes of Allah I ma not divorced. He said it is for the sake of the kids and he is not with his "wife". Yeah right, I do not believe him anymore. I spoke with a lawyer & he told me to send an email to him demanding a divorce and the reasons behind it and be done with him. I am to tell him he must do this within 2 weeks or I will file for divorce in the US immediately.
Again thank you everyone for opening my eyes. And as much as I loved Egypt, the people there (most of them lol), the food, so many things. But I am sorry, I will never trust another foreign man to marry again. It will take time to heal. I feel like a fool and so ashamed I fell for this.
By the way, thank God I can not have anymore kids so I never got pregnant by him and have no kids by him.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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good for u pooh.. as long as u keep yrself safe and happy who cares how he feels he should have thought about what his consequents would be screwing with an american like that right.. dog his ass bad girl..i bet he learns not to marry another american.... hehehehehe
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Never feel like a fool or be ashamed....to err is human.....to take the piss like he did.....just shows he is a dick....learn and move on....things happen to us for a reason....from the bad can only come good...
Posts: 312 | From: my world | Registered: Sep 2007
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startingover: I replied to the pm. Please read and respond.
I have sent him an email & a text message telling him I want a divorce immediately. I know that if I had called him, he would have talked me out of it so this was the next best thing.
Posts: 15 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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What? You think he's going to hand you a divorce because you want one? He won't even give his other wife, the one he has children with, a real divorce.
Get yourself divorced. You don't need his permission, all you need is an attorney where you live. Of course he has to be served notice he's being divorced. Maybe your attorney can do that here, where he lives, in one of the local newspapers. That will serve him right.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by safarah: Hello all, It is just by chance that I logged in today because I was going to publish my Egyptian husband's name. Yes....I was an American Muslim who married an Egyptian...really loved him. He set a trap for me and I got caught. When I read that sister's post at the top of the page, my blood ran cold. We are dealing with some serious stuff here. We have to help this sister stop this man from getting the VISA. I was living in Egypt and filed there then returned to the States and later he joined me when he got the stamp in his passport. He got a temporary green card a couple of months after arriving and just made the two years to get a permanent green card. He got it this past April. In May he took copies of my passport and other papers so that he could file for citizenship.(You can file for US citizenship after 3 years if you are married to a citizen)and in July he presented me with divorce papers -uncontested- for me to sign. I had no idea that he was going to divorce me. I was shocked. We had our ups and downs like any other married couple. Of course, I did not sign the papers. Now I know what I have to do. It was all deceit,lies, and secrecy. He gave me the same story about his parents. It is too much to give the details of what I went through with this man. These schemers are cold, calculating and desperate.If they got married through the Ministry of Justice, her marriage is legal in the US. This is what these Egytians are doing now. This guy who the sister married is showing the same patterns as my husband. Look, I sent her my phone number so she can call me. I want to tell her my whole story. I think my husband may also be bisexual. I have evidence. The young man I married was from Beni Suef. His name Mostafa Mohamed Hussein. Now he goes by the name of Mostafa Mohammed Maged. I have nothing to hide. Thank God....she decided to ask for advicce.
a certain member here should pay particular attention to your story. it is what will happen to her as well.
sorry for ur pain. Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2009
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KICK him once and for all in his balls and drag him to the plane and by him a 1 way ticket back to EGYPT. Tell your son about his dad when he gets older and let him choose if he wanna have any contact with the twat.
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