EgyptSearch Forums: advice

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Posted by Rach8 (Member # 8084) on :

Hi
i am a 19 year old female from england and i am looking for advice. last year while on holiday in sharm i met a nice egyptain man. we got together towards the end of my two week stay and after i left we kept in touch, by emails and phone calls. Soon after i left he moved back to Cairo to work with his dad in their shop. I went back to see him about a month ago on my own, and stayed with his family where i met all of them. i really loved his family and they wanted us to marry then but i thought that i wanted to get to know him better, so i would not. He has asked me to move there with him but i cant as i am in university and would like to finish my course. i have asked him to come here and he is applying for a visa so he can come to me and stay with my family. i was sure he was right for me untill i read through this forum, and now i am unsure. has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer me advice. i have brought all of my worries up with him. He was very understanding and just said i had to follow my heart. I really do love him and he says he does to, but i feel lost about what to do. Also i have offered to help him pay for the cost of him coming over which will be about £200 for us both. thanks

Posted by KeepinItReal (Member # 7946) on :

Hello Rach,
I have not been in your situation, but what I can say is absolutely finish your education. That way you can always make a living for yourself and you're not depending on anyone. Love is wonderful, but it's not always forever. If he is the right guy, he will be there for you when you finish your degree. Good luck!!

[This message has been edited by KeepinItReal (edited 21 June 2005).]

Posted by RaniaMe (Member # 7590) on :

Hello Rach8.

What are you studying in university? What will be your future job? What is your boyfriend's social status? Did he go to college? Was he working in the tourist industry while he was in Sharm?
I saw a lot of girls falling in love with men in Egypt that they would have never even given a look at in their home country (don't know if it makes sense, sorry for my bad English).That's the first thing I wanted to tell you.

You did right by not getting married when he asked you to. No need to rush.
I don't know if making him come is such a good idea. I mean, yes, it's great in a sense, because you will get to know him better, see how he adjusts to life there (although he will stay only a short time). It's less great if you have some doubt about him. Are you sure he will come back to Egypt after, getting a visa is something difficult, so he may want to stay in UK. It happened to one of my friends, that's why I'm telling you about this. I don't really like the money thing either, but anyway, it's done.
I heard a lot of bad things about these guys working in tourist areas. And after all, you only met him twice, once in Sharm, and then in Cairo. Would you trust an English man, or whoever else, after only seeing him twice in your life?
Keep focusing on your studies, and time will tell you if you can trust him or not. And always remember that a lot of foreign women on this forum are happily married to Egyptian men! But it takes time to know someone, so take your time!
All the best.

Posted by Rach8 (Member # 8084) on :

thanks for ur replies,

Raniame, I am a student nurse doing the diploma.
He was working as a DJ in Sharm, and i think that if he was still there i would not be with him now but because he has moved back to Cairo i feel like i can trust him more. He is working in his dads business which i dont think is brillant pay but he is saving to come over.
He never went to university or college and left school with no qualifications.

Posted by akshar (Member # 1680) on :

When I first came on these forums a hundred years ago, or so it seems i asked almost the same questions. I totlaly trusted my fella and then reading here i had all these doubts and worries. Whilst I think it is good to know what is what do remember these people don't know you, or your fella or your relationship.

That is what I realised and i decided to trust my fella, it worked for me.It might for you. It is the same as any relationship there are no guarantees.

personally I think it is easier for a Western to adapt to their life than they to ours. this is on the basis of a 12 year marriage to a Syrian in the UK before he died and a nearly 3 year marriage to an Egyptian in Egpyt.

Posted by Penny (Member # 1925) on :

Very much agree with the above comments and only time will tell if he is right for you or not. I would however never judge someone by what college or university they did or did not attend. Life in Egypt is hard and not everyone has the opportunities we take for granted in the West.

Prepare yourself for the fact that he is very unlikely to be granted a VISA to visit you and therefore if you want to continue with the relationship you will have to continue to visit him in Egypt. Is that the sort of relationship you want and are you able to afford to do that as a student with quite sometime left at University.

I also don't think you should be offering him £200 to pay his costs, It is not the norm for women to be giving money to men in Egypt.