This question was inspired whan I was replying to Sono's post in the SUGAR MUMMIES thread.
Do you care what other people think of you? Do you care about societal & cultural expectations & rules?
Posted by Samia (Member # 4691) on :
I don't care what strangers think of me...... but I do care what friends, employers, etc think of me !!!
Posted by freshsoda (Member # 13226) on :
I agree with Samia..but I think first impression of strangers is bit important.
Posted by With a name like Smuckers (Member # 10289) on :
It depends on the person.
Posted by *The Dark Angel* aka CAT (Member # 11953) on :
You have to choose between pleasing everyone or pleasing yourself. Life is too short & it is not worth it to let other people dictate to you what you should want or how you should live.
But even if you only care about family & freinds' views, would you scarifice your own happiness to make them pleased with you?
Posted by Ana Huna (Member # 12632) on :
I agree Cat. I used to care what everyone thought of me. I was miserable. I don't really care what people think anymore. I don't go out of my way to please anyone. I try to be nice and pleasant, but not to the extent of extreme self-sacrifice.
Posted by Snoozin No More (Member # 6244) on :
Generally, no, I don't care what strangers think of me. But it's interesting being married now, and realizing that my reputation (for lack of a better word) impacts more people than just me.
Posted by mysticheart (Member # 6838) on :
yes snoozing, that is how i am now. I am more careful of what i wear, though i was never really showy in the first place i am very aware of what i wear to not give a bad impression to anyone. I want my husband to be able to be proud of me and not have people look at me as some easy foreigner. I find that i am more careful about looking at people or making eye contact, about keeping my voice quiet.. It wasnt much of an adjustment for me though. The main thing is most of my shirts are at my waist and if i bend over or reach up they show skin, so now i find that i try to wear something under to keep that from happening and am looking in the stores for shirts that are mid hip length lol.
Posted by oldbag (Member # 9889) on :
Depends whether they are people who matter to me or not and whether their opinions are worth considering and the context of those opinions!
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
When I was younger I did care but now I'm older no I don't care, friends yes I would be bothered but strangers can think what they want. There was an article in the paper regarding a court appearance by my ex, he told lots of lies, it did hurt me but I made a point of going out in my town and facing people because I knew it was all lies
Posted by Miss Sharm (Member # 12405) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: When I was younger I did care but now I'm older no I don't care, friends yes I would be bothered but strangers can think what they want. There was an article in the paper regarding a court appearance by my ex, he told lots of lies, it did hurt me but I made a point of going out in my town and facing people because I knew it was all lies
Young at heart, I had a similar experience to that with an ex of mine. It wasn't in the newspaper but he got a not guilty verdict for charges against me. He told so many lies in court. It bothered me for a while but like you we have to dust ourselves down and face the world again, no matter how hard it can be at times.
Posted by Josette (Member # 12613) on :
Hmm it appears that your ex was someone else you lied on Miss Sharm. That appears to be a dirty little habit of yours. Along with some other dirty little things you .
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
oh miss sharm, it's hard isn't it.
Posted by Miss Sharm (Member # 12405) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: oh miss sharm, it's hard isn't it.
Yes, it can be. I have got over it to a point but sadly it will always be in my memory what happened.....it is comments like Josette's that make people in our society not understand the full complex of the issues involved in cases like mine.
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Yes I know what you mean, In my case I took years of abuse not serious by what some women endure but more mental abuse and lots of verbal and some physical and there comes a day that enough is enough. It took a long time before I could admit it and report it. I'm sure it makes you stronger
Posted by Miss Sharm (Member # 12405) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Yes I know what you mean, In my case I took years of abuse not serious by what some women endure but more mental abuse and lots of verbal and some physical and there comes a day that enough is enough. It took a long time before I could admit it and report it. I'm sure it makes you stronger
It is so hard because you believe that you can change them and stop what is happening to you. I will never undertand to this day why they found him not guilty, when the magistrates had photographic evidence, medical reports and police statements. A lot more work is still needed to be done until we can live in a justified society. At least we are both here to tell our experiences, some women aren't as fortunate Posted by mi feng (Member # 9378) on :
I think it depends on what you mean by "care." If a stranger that you have to deal with gives you the cold shoulder or even treats you rudely, I think it is natural to be pissed off and also to try to understand it. The part when you examine your own role and take a moment to find where you may have caused a problem is the part that makes you a more caring person with more empathy. I believe small town people are more capable of that caring than city people. Do you take it home at night and worry about it? Nah. Always take the high road and you have nothing to worry about. When it comes to family and friends it is more disturbing, and can be heartbreaking. Again, I think its because we need to understand why someone is not "feelin us."
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
oh yes I agree with you. I didn't go through what you did, I'm so sorry for what you went through it's very hard, but as you say we're here to live another day
Posted by Josette (Member # 12613) on :
quote:Originally posted by mi feng: I think it depends on what you mean by "care." If a stranger that you have to deal with gives you the cold shoulder or even treats you rudely, I think it is natural to be pissed off and also to try to understand it. The part when you examine your own role and take a moment to find where you may have caused a problem is the part that makes you a more caring person with more empathy. I believe small town people are more capable of that caring than city people. Do you take it home at night and worry about it? Nah. Always take the high road and you have nothing to worry about. When it comes to family and friends it is more disturbing, and can be heartbreaking. Again, I think its because we need to understand why someone is not "feelin us."
.
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
not everything is about you josette
Posted by Josette (Member # 12613) on :
Do you get what mi feng is saying?????? B/c I sure as hell don't It might as well be in Greek.
Posted by Miss Sharm (Member # 12405) on :
quote:Originally posted by Josette: Do you get what mi feng is saying?????? B/c I sure as hell don't It might as well be in Greek.
You won't understand it Josette because it either hasn't got your name in it or the person posting isn't asking you to **** them.
Posted by imagine (Member # 11591) on :
quote:Originally posted by *The Dark Angel* aka CAT: You have to choose between pleasing everyone or pleasing yourself. Life is too short & it is not worth it to let other people dictate to you what you should want or how you should live.
But even if you only care about family & freinds' views, would you scarifice your own happiness to make them pleased with you?
Couldnt have said it better....
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
oh josette, stop being so aggressive. We don't need this
Posted by Sobriquet (Member # 13217) on :
Personally I don’t care what people think of me and this includes (or included) acquaintances, friends, professors and even most family members. I regard peoples’ perceptions of me whether by way of judgment, assumption, imagination or understanding as meaningless. I am very proud of this fact it affords me more freedom to do as I please rather than reactionary deeds based on their hang-ups. There are however people in my life whose opinions and thoughts I deeply care about but these few are the exception rather than the rule.
Posted by Penny (Member # 1925) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sobriquet: Personally I don’t care what people think of me and this includes (or included) acquaintances, friends, professors and even most family members. I regard peoples’ perceptions of me whether by way of judgment, assumption, imagination or understanding as meaningless. I am very proud of this fact it affords me more freedom to do as I please rather than reactionary deeds based on their hang-ups. There are however people in my life whose opinions and thoughts I deeply care about but these few are the exception rather than the rule.
I think you put into words exactly how I feel and the fundamental reason for this is I have little time for people's judgments or judgemental people. 9 times out of 10 they are wrong. I believe we should all live by our own moral codes and be true to ourselves and nobody has the right to sit in judgement of anybody. Live and let live you have enough to worry about in your own life without worrying about other peoples.
Posted by didi_elsayed (Member # 4763) on :
Theres some united moral codes that we folloe,but in common i dont care what the people think about me,i mean excluding my family and close friends!Usually i adore to shut the mouths of the curious and bad people,hey dont deserve smth else!But why should we worry for proplr we dont care!Life is too short indeed! Posted by With a name like Smuckers (Member # 10289) on :
quote:Originally posted by Penny:
quote:Originally posted by Sobriquet: Personally I don’t care what people think of me and this includes (or included) acquaintances, friends, professors and even most family members. I regard peoples’ perceptions of me whether by way of judgment, assumption, imagination or understanding as meaningless. I am very proud of this fact it affords me more freedom to do as I please rather than reactionary deeds based on their hang-ups. There are however people in my life whose opinions and thoughts I deeply care about but these few are the exception rather than the rule.
I think you put into words exactly how I feel and the fundamental reason for this is I have little time for people's judgments or judgemental people. 9 times out of 10 they are wrong. I believe we should all live by our own moral codes and be true to ourselves and nobody has the right to sit in judgement of anybody. Live and let live you have enough to worry about in your own life without worrying about other peoples.
very true....otherwise your worry yourself with people who don't matter to anyone but themselves. Posted by *The Dark Angel* aka CAT (Member # 11953) on :
Judgemental people are never right & it's like they are waiting for your next move, always watching you to prove their theory or disprove it. This feeling of being watched is so annoying & paralyzing but once you decide not to care, it frees you while it locks them, it exhausts them while you enjoy your life letting them think whatever the damn they like to think, wasting their lives watching other people's life living it.
Posted by *Souri* (Member # 9095) on :
Yes but unfortunately there are only few places where you can talk freely and speak up your mind without being judged.
Posted by homing pigeon (Member # 8039) on :
I never cared when I was younger...if someone said your hairband is falling off , for example, I'd say just dont look at it!
But somewhere along the course of my life, I started to allow myself to be coerced by the ones I love..... not very wise, is it?
Posted by foreignluvr (Member # 5854) on :
quote:Originally posted by Penny:
quote:Originally posted by Sobriquet: Personally I don’t care what people think of me and this includes (or included) acquaintances, friends, professors and even most family members. I regard peoples’ perceptions of me whether by way of judgment, assumption, imagination or understanding as meaningless. I am very proud of this fact it affords me more freedom to do as I please rather than reactionary deeds based on their hang-ups. There are however people in my life whose opinions and thoughts I deeply care about but these few are the exception rather than the rule.
I think you put into words exactly how I feel and the fundamental reason for this is I have little time for people's judgments or judgemental people. 9 times out of 10 they are wrong. I believe we should all live by our own moral codes and be true to ourselves and nobody has the right to sit in judgement of anybody. Live and let live you have enough to worry about in your own life without worrying about other peoples.
I think you have both spoken for how I feel as well except I don't think I could have put across what you both said as well as you did.
Posted by soma (Member # 12876) on :
can you mi feng tell us who give you all this feeling ?
I think it depends on what you mean by "care." If a stranger that you have to deal with gives you the cold shoulder or even treats you rudely, I think it is natural to be pissed off and also to try to understand it. The part when you examine your own role and take a moment to find where you may have caused a problem is the part that makes you a more caring person with more empathy. I believe small town people are more capable of that caring than city people. Do you take it home at night and worry about it? Nah. Always take the high road and you have nothing to worry about. When it comes to family and friends it is more disturbing, and can be heartbreaking. Again, I think its because we need to understand why someone is not "feelin us."
Posted by With a name like Smuckers (Member # 10289) on :
quote:Originally posted by homing pigeon: I never cared when I was younger...if someone said your hairband is falling off , for example, I'd say just dont look at it!
But somewhere along the course of my life, I started to allow myself to be coerced by the ones I love..... not very wise, is it?
I feel that women in Egypt are constantly 'looking me over' 24/7, much more so than I ever received from women in my home country. They're so interested and curious in my look for EVERYTHING here, that includes female family, friends, etc., it's really strange. 'your pin (on hijab) is sticking out', 'your eyes look tired', 'is this shirt new?', 'you look so thin',etc. I get to the point where I don't respond at all anymore, it just isn't worth it. The last person who said I was 'so thin' (which I am NOT but maybe because I'm 8 months preggie they said it), I just replied, 'well perhaps you could give me some of YOUR weight?'. They shut up. Posted by vuitton_girl (Member # 13154) on :
I care what everyone thinks or me! I always have but i wish i didn't
Posted by egyptian999 (Member # 13087) on :
i dont care what people think of me, life is so short , 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 years even so short .. egyptian guy with his american gf or wife ( the freaking egyptian papers) were sitting infront ofme talking in english about plansfor future ... in arabic the guy was talking to me about ( he got bored already of her and its matter of time lol and he might not even stay around the weeks she goona be in egypt longer).. the guy later and his( victim) launched war on me( to prove they the innocents andso..... what did i do? i laughed and laughed and laughed , if i swear on all holy books to the woman ...she will never believe me over her( hero) .... trust me people dont waste your energy over things arent worth ...life isshort ...
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