quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

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Not in my opinion it doesnt. It all depends on the individuals concerned whether they are compatible with each other. Age is a number and a state of mind. Most of the people i have as close friends are around 12-20 years younger than me. My last bf was 15 years younger than me and although it didnt work in the end (not due to age) we were very close to the point we knew what the other was thinking most of the time. I would happily do that again. You will find that its other people will put strain on the relationship, mostly if the man is younger, but if he is the older of the relationship thats all seen as fine and acceptable, even if hes 30+ years older! As I say, all down to the individuals concerned.

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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
 

I don't see what the problem is !!!

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http://www.egyptiantouch.com Information About Egypt and Forum
 

For example if the man is 50 at the start of the relationship and the woman is 35, this means that when the man is 70 the woman will only be 55.

The age gap would become more apparent then.

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[URL=http://www.egyptiantouch.com]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by El Sphinx:
May I just add that age can become a problem in later years of the relationship.

For example if the man is 50 at the start of the relationship and the woman is 35, this means that when the man is 70 the woman will only be 55.

The age gap would become more apparent then.

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Exactly, I also believe that there is a generation gap in what two would enjoy, different interests, etc on average. There are exceptions, but I believe those are rare.

I think the big problem with large age gaps comes when one party wants children and the other party either cannot or does not want a family at that stage of life. This an even greater problem in Egypt if the woman is older as most men will want to have children, so she may have to be open to accepting a second younger wife.

As for the Sharm and Hurgadah older 'supermarket' ladies...(20 to 30+ years older) don't get me started on that one!!

Penny
 

quote:

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Originally posted by katrina:
Exactly, I also believe that there is a generation gap in what two would enjoy, different interests, etc on average. There are exceptions, but I believe those are rare.

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UM..UM...The problems usually dont start at the beginning ....but when one gets a bit older and the arthiritis,gout,liverspots etc. starts to kick in...well dont expect cabanaboy to hang around.A woman is usually at her peak from 35-45(might differ from woman to woman) and yeah she needs that young horsy that she can ride until kingdom comes ...But at the end you are as old as you feel...just a pity nature has a way of convincing us of reality.If you feel that you are Vivian Westwood and you can keep it up...go ahead!If you dont feel imbarresed if the cashier at the till asks you if he/she is your son/daughter...go ahead!If it doesnt bother you at all...GO AHEAD!Who gives a damn what people think...they dont live your life...when you lock your doors and close your windows...they dont have to sleep next to grandpa or grandma.....or cabanagirl or boy ...Gees I'd rather have a nice guy next to me then an old wrinkled liver spotted old man!....oh sorry Im not even thirty yet so I guess a younger guy for me would be what???....12 years old

You should talk to more women in their 50's and you will find that a lot of them feel that this time is their peak. You would be surprised the awakening that happens when you don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore and the kids are on their own. You should ask our husbands. They aren't complaining.

Sami
 

I didn't take it the wrong way. When I was your age I thought that life ended at forty and I couldn't even comprehend, oh my God, people having sex in their fifties and sixites. Now I know that life just starts at fifty. I was your age when my favorite boss who was fifty at that time told me that. She was a very attractive woman and had any number of men interested in her. She was definitely right. Some things do get MUCH better with age, love, and a genuine desire borne out of a shared history to make each other happy. This may come as a surprise to many but not all women that are fifty are ugly, dried up old prunes. Many women are like a fine wine, they definitely get better with age.

Take care, Sami
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
How interesting that the replies are from women.Now that I am fifty I find I am more confident which possibly makes me more atractive,I do not worry,I do not nag am content with life and take whatever comes in my stride.I like younger people they are refreshing and motivating.I find the problem with so many men my age is they are very much pipe and slippers.When you have so much energy for new projects and travel and new cultures you have to have a partner that has the same goals.Although my ex husband was 20 years older than me he was very young in his outlook and good fun and I never noticed the age difference. Some people are born old and some people are forever young in their outlook.Personally I have a real zest for life and look forward to every day especially with my younger man.I have only heard one comment made about us which incidently was from an english man.On walking past our table in a restaurant I heard him say she must be at least 10 years older than him,how kind I thought, 20 actually!!!!!

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Please read stories around here and make sure you are nto one of them. Really. Before it hits you harder. I really do not see a strong motivation for a 30-year old man to be with a 50-year old woman, especially in Egypt. I am not saying it to hurt you.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 20 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Katrina I do not know what you mean by a strong motivation to be with a 50 year old especially in Egypt? Why so different from anywhere else.If I was a 50 year old man and he was a 30 year old woman would that be OK.I suspect it would be because that is acceptable.Maybe he wants me for my money,no we can rule that one out he has enough of his own,maybe he cannot find a girl his own age because he is unattractive and has no personality he has both.He is not one of your sharm or hurghada giggilos. He has a wonderful supportive family and great friends. Why does he love me, I dont know.I read a story recently of a famouse reporter in England who met and married a south african reporter 25 years his junior,he said he could not understand why she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a drooling wrinkly old fool like him, she said, quite simply, she loved him.Maybe quite simply he loves me for what I am wrinkles (not to many) included.I am not a fool Katrina I know when someone is insincere.. But I will heed your advice and be very open minded and not expect to much and then I will not be disapointed.

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As bad and double standard as it sounds, I admit and I believe it is bad, but it has been this way: old guy/young woman--all the time, not the other way around. Time to change? Probably yes probably no. You apply your own culture to this situation, and Egypt is a different place.

Honestly, I do not even see such cases of an older woman/young man in the so called liberal West. So yes, money is perhaps the motivation. I hope not so. I am not trying to redicule you. I feel sorry for you if your case is typical case we read about plenty here on ES. That is all.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 20 August 2004).]
 

GeGe, I believe age DOES matter in your case. Your man wants children at one point, believe me. You are beyond that. You have many years of marriage behind you, raised kids and now its time you want to enjoy yourself (and you deserve it). Well you fell in love with a way younger man, someone from Egypt. Netherless I wish you both good luck with your relationship to make it successful and lasting but as I am trying to say, I have my concerns.
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
I think I will follow my heart.And not listen to all the bitter stories on this forum.Life is for living.If I believed everything I read here I dont think I would set foot in Egypt again.There does appear to be many very bitter and twisted opinions posted here/People seem to be so full of venom.So you make a mistake move on forget it life is to short.That is the only way you find out in life,you make mistakes.We have all made them.If my man wants childeren fine he will find himself a younger woman and I will leave,he knows that I would not tolerate another woman.And yes I would be hurt,but, I would get over it and no I would not be bitter.I would put it down to experience.

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Good luck. There is a great value though in learning from other people's mistakes. Whoever posted these stories (which believe me are shocking to all of us), are not simply making up stuff.

Following your heart is a road to increase chances of breaking it pretty badly later if you dive in with your heart 100%. One does need to use one's mind as well. The pain experienced later may not be worth the time you have in your Lala land. Personally, I do not understand people completely when they burn and then say they would do it all over again knowing the outcome later. It can cost you more than simply learning a lesson. Actually whether you believe these stories or not, you seem to go into with a perspective of your own culture. I do understand that. You may face different things you are not that ready for. Good luck to you.

Why did you post your story here anyway?
 

quote:

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Originally posted by katrina:

Following your heart is a road to increase chances of breaking it pretty badly later if you dive in with your heart 100%. One does need to use one's mind as well. The pain experienced later may not be worth the time you have in your Lala land.

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Well I would rather be part of the 'I tried it and it didn't work' group than the 'What if' group. life is much richer and interesting. sometimes it works, I would rather know. For myself Inshahallah so far it has, next year who knows but I have had a year and a half of joy. Worth it, you better believe it.

And what if it is the fairy tale, well **** you lot i was right and you were wrong. Jealous, I know you are lol

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Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor
 

quote:

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Originally posted by akshar:

Well I would rather be part of the 'I tried it and it didn't work' group than the 'What if' group. life is much richer and interesting. sometimes it works, I would rather know. For myself Inshahallah so far it has, next year who knows but I have had a year and a half of joy. Worth it, you better believe it.

And what if it is the fairy tale, well **** you lot i was right and you were wrong. Jealous, I know you are lol

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When you make a well-balanced choice with your head present, there is no "WHAT IF"!!!!!

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

Katrina, come on, be easy on Akshar and her family. No personal insults like that.

GeGe, many stories here posted on ES are not just "bitter" expressions of women which relationship with an Egyptian man ended in a mess or it was even doomed from the beginning. Of course you are free to to whatever you want in your life. But do not forget that things look much brighter when you are in love..... and I guess somehow you know. Again, good luck in everything what you are deciding to do!
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Lukoshko:
I gess not the age itself is so important, but the person's life experience, compatability, way of thinking and so on. Some people stay young (some - childish) till their 70s, some people become old at 20.

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Amen.

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Wow I have just read your reply to Jane you are certainly very motivated Katrina.Are you Egyptian no I think not.No Egyptian man or woman would be so venomous.How could a simple question about age turn into an attack on someone who is doing what they think is right for them.Harsh words, maybe you should think about why you wrote them.Everyone just does there best in life,please do not be so hurtful to others.I wish I had never asked the question.

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[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:

Katrina, come on, be easy on Akshar and her family. No personal insults like that.

GeGe, many stories here posted on ES are not just "bitter" expressions of women which relationship with an Egyptian man ended in a mess or it was even doomed from the beginning. Of course you are free to to whatever you want in your life. But do not forget that things look much brighter when you are in love..... and I guess somehow you know. Again, good luck in everything what you are deciding to do!

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ok, Tiger! You speak reason. I will tone down, lilly

 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Katrina, I would like to ask you if you have ever been in love,somehow I doubt it.Because if you had you would know that it is most certainly better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.I agree with Jane I could end my relationship and wonder what if.

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Ge Ge

Have I even been in love? Your intuition is right. No. not really. I know one thing it is better not to love than to love an asshole. It is really not worth it. There is no lesson to it, other than you did love an asshole. You are not going to be a better person as a result. As I said before when you make the right choice well calculated, you do not have thoughts of "what if". The price you pay for the bad path may outweigh all the temporary glimses of that joy you are talking about. Simply not worth it. Heart may lead you to no good. It could be a classic case of a butterfly flying to light and burning pretty badly. If you do use your head, you will avoid it. I personally never regreted one decision based on careful thinking, while when heart was involved it led to errors and extra work to reverse the mistakes. I can make tough choices and never look back. So "what if" part does not bother me. It is when you realize you made a mistake, you would wonder "what if" you did not make this error, what it would have been like. The problem of hindsight. In some people's cases those errors can be irrevocable. What for, shall I ask? You use your head first and then let the heart rule when you are absolutely sure.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 20 August 2004).]
 

As for Jane, her husband is muslim, he can have up to 4 wives if he so wishes and Jane knew and accepted this when she married him. Why does it rile you so much that she is happy??

I too was married to an a**hole for 21 years, a British asshole too. Then I fell in love with an Egyptian.......who also now is called a**hole too, but the time I had with my Egyptian a**hole I would live again, it was the best time of my life. If you love hard it can hurt hard when it ends, but believe me its worth it!!

The best lessons are those we learn oursleves, not from other peoples experiences.

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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
 

It is better to have loved and lost an asshole than never to have loved an asshole at all.

LOL that will keep me smiling for the day!
Have a good weekend all

Penny
 

glad to make you smile though

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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:
Advice on love from someone who has never been in love is a bit like advice on how to raise children from someone thats never had any. Love does not follow logic. When it happens its not a planned and thought about thing. Its not a case of 'deciding'with your head to allow your heart to feel, it just happens!

As for Jane, her husband is muslim, he can have up to 4 wives if he so wishes and Jane knew and accepted this when she married him. Why does it rile you so much that she is happy??

I too was married to an a**hole for 21 years, a British asshole too. Then I fell in love with an Egyptian.......who also now is called a**hole too, but the time I had with my Egyptian a**hole I would live again, it was the best time of my life. If you love hard it can hurt hard when it ends, but believe me its worth it!!

The best lessons are those we learn oursleves, not from other peoples experiences.

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100% agreement here. I was with my english husband for 24 years, yes I loved him once, no I dont love him now. He wasnt an asshole but he was no longer for me. Yes, I was an "orfi" wife, he was only a minor asshole and I am no longer with him. One was much older than I, and the other much younger.
But I have loved, and I would never ever change my times with either of them. They both gave me what I needed at the right time. And I am a better person for having known them both. I followed my heart and I only gained from it.
At least I can hold my head up and say I tried, rather than looking into a future of bleakness saying "what if".
As for the egyptian gigolo..... go for it, but as I have said so many many times on these forums..... go for it, but keep your eyes wide open and your hand firmly on your wallet.
Life is for living!
 

If you read Amina's story, do you think it was worth? Yes, poor girl did not know. She will make the best of her life going forward. But do you think it was worth it? You cannot look back now, but I am sure there were warning signs about that absolute asshole that could have stopped her tying the knot with him a few years ago. She could have spoken to his first wife and known enough about the asshole to realize what she realized now: he is an asshole! Look, she had plenty to say after the fact. I bet if Amina listened to her before getting married to such an asshole, she would have known that he cheated left and right in his first marriage, that he was a pathetic man. She would have used her head not heart, and would not have used her heart to fall over heals with this asshole. Amina was not the only one who could not see it through. her family could not see it either. But data was out there. It is a matter of how much we "dig" before we dive in with our hearts and what is important. I bet a doctor does not mean " a decent man".

It is like in any decision, you do collect data and analyze it before making the cut. Trust me not 'what if" regrets would have been necessary! This man is not even worth her.

If she did, by now she could have had a different man who could have been a better husband and father, and she would not have had to go through this hell. What lesson is learned here? That he is an asshole!? She was too good to learn that kind of lesson. Even if she met someone else not wonderful enough, had she not chosen the path with this asshole, I bet it would not have been any worse. If situation had been evaluated very critically, this nightmare could have been prevented, because people do not change. This asshole has not become asshole over night, HE HAS BEEN AN ASSHOLE ALL THE TIME.

Sorry, dear Amina, to use your story as an example.

Hey, ladies, at my 27, I do know that one's main objective is to avoid loving an asshole. That is not life worth living. There are beatiful places to see, beatiful people to meet, time is precious, and life is short and yes it is worth living, but not waste it on assholes. Your love is not worth assholes. Love for the sake of love is not worth it either. It is truly a waste. Life is short, choose wisely with whom you spend and how you spend it with, and thus whom you love. Learn from other people's mistakes not your own. There is a great margin for error even then.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Shareen:
100% agreement here. I was with my english husband for 24 years, yes I loved him once, no I dont love him now. He wasnt an asshole but he was no longer for me. Yes, I was an "orfi" wife, he was only a minor asshole and I am no longer with him. One was much older than I, and the other much younger.
But I have loved, and I would never ever change my times with either of them. They both gave me what I needed at the right time. And I am a better person for having known them both. I followed my heart and I only gained from it.
At least I can hold my head up and say I tried, rather than looking into a future of bleakness saying "what if".
As for the egyptian gigolo..... go for it, but as I have said so many many times on these forums..... go for it, but keep your eyes wide open and your hand firmly on your wallet.
Life is for living!

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Shareen, what kind of advice is this suggesting getting involved with a gigolo? What is that you gained from being with a gigolo?

quote:

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Originally posted by katrina:
To all who love or loved assholes regardless of age difference!

If you read Amina's story, do you think it was worth? Yes, poor girl did not know. She will make the best of her life going forward. But do you think it was worth it? You cannot look back now, but I am sure there were warning signs about that absolute asshole that could have stopped her tying the knot with him a few years ago. She could have spoken to his first wife and known enough about the asshole to realize what she realized now: he is an asshole! Look, she had plenty to say after te fact. I bet if Amina listened to her before getting married to such an asshole, she would have known that he cheated left and right in his first marriage, that he was a pathetic man. She would have used her head not heart, and would not have used her heart to fall over heals with this asshole. It is like in any decision, you do collect data and analyze it before making the cut. Trust me not 'what if" regrets would have been necessary! This man is not even worth her.

If she did, by now she could have had a different man who could have been a better husband and father, and she would not have had to go through this hell. What lesson is learned here? That he is an asshole!? She was too good to learn that kind of lesson. Even if she met someone else not wonderful enough, had she not chosen the path with this asshole, I bet it would not have been any worse. If situation had been evaluated very critically, this nightmare could have been prevented, because people do not change. This asshole has not become asshole over night, HE HAS BEEN AN ASSHOLE ALL THE TIME.

Sorry, dear Amina, to use your story as an example. Hey, ladies, at my 27, I do know that one's main objective is to avoid loving an asshole. That is not life worth living. There are beatiful places to see, beatiful people to meet, time is precious, and life is short and yes it is worth living, but not waste it on assholes. Your love is not worth assholes. Love for the sake of love is not worth it either.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]

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She has a wonderful daughter so I think she wouldn't anything to change otherwise she wouldn't have had her.

Pain is one of lifes rich experiences. How do you know happiness withou knowing sadness. How can you know joy without depair.

You are so young Katrina and so dogmatic; as you get older and go through lifes experiences you will also find that people change and do become arseholes. That love can blind you to all sorts of faults, literally, research has shown that 'being in love' does affect our critical faculties. That a few moments happiness can be worth the later pain.

What I have gone through has made me what I am today and I wouldn't change a single thing.

I hope that your logic does prevent you having a failed relationship and suffering that pain but I wouldn't guarantee it.

And I will tell you something else, if this does happen to you and you are hurt and in pain please come to me. I promise I will be there for you. For you it will be so hard because you thought you had protected yourself. I also swear I will never say 'I told you so'

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Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor
 

quote:

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Originally posted by akshar:
She has a wonderful daughter so I think she wouldn't anything to change otherwise she wouldn't have had her.

Pain is one of lifes rich experiences. How do you know happiness withou knowing sadness. How can you know joy without depair.

You are so young Katrina and so dogmatic; as you get older and go through lifes experiences you will also find that people change and do become arseholes. That love can blind you to all sorts of faults, literally, research has shown that 'being in love' does affect our critical faculties. That a few moments happiness can be worth the later pain.

What I have gone through has made me what I am today and I wouldn't change a single thing.

I hope that your logic does prevent you having a failed relationship and suffering that pain but I wouldn't guarantee it.

And I will tell you something else, if this does happen to you and you are hurt and in pain please come to me. I promise I will be there for you. For you it will be so hard because you thought you had protected yourself. I also swear I will never say 'I told you so'

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Thank you Jane. Seriously it is very thoughtful of you. Honestly, very touching. I apologize for being harsh and straighforward with you. I do wish you all the best regardless of my skeptisism.

Jane, no I do not think that my analytical mindset can prevent me from making a mistake. The goal is to minimize the margin of error. I understand that analysis has its own limitations and you can never eliminate uncertainty and risk 100% as risk is an inherent factor present in life. What I know is the benefits of the analysis which help you to understand this:

1. bad decision/good execution - successful outcome
2. bad decision/bad execution - unsuccessful outcome
3. good decision/bad execution - unsuccessful outcome
4. good decision/good execution - successful outcome.

Inherently you have 50/50 chance with 1) being likely to be subject to "luck" which cannot be repeated consistently, so it shifts the scale to 50-75% chance failure with a solid 25% chance of success.

I have experienced all 4 in different situations in life. What I know is that case 2 had always had signs before if you are willing to read them. I really do not believe misreading and denial would be worth it.

Another limitation of my mindset I am keenly aware of is over-confidence. First, realizing it is the first step to curb it among many more.

Yet in conclusion, analysing does help you to think clearly before you are ready to dive in with your head down. it is better be an excellent dive and refreshing swim rather than falling into abyss that could have been prevented if you just stepped aside for a bit and examined the terrain and height of your own flight.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
I am so sad for you Katrina.Do you analyse and produce statistics for a living. Life is just not like that.But I think it proves a point.You used very harsh words about Jane and her reply to you,I will be there for you if you are ever hurt.And do you know why she said that Katrina.Because her life is so full of love and lifes experiences that she can forgive and understand when someone else speaks without her knowledge.My daughter is your age and a nurse she is the sweetest person you could ever meet,she was very hurt
earlier this year by her fiancee,but she is not at all bitter or sceptical on the contrary she has put it down to experience and moved on.That is life. That is what makes us the person we are,ups and downs,making mistakes and please remember life would not be as sweet without the sour.

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Ge Ge, I am not bitter. I am a very sweet person. It does not have to come across in everything I write on public boards. Do not be sad for me as to each its own, I think that is what you all are trying to say. I feel happy when I make good decisions based on a solid analysis. It makes me happy to prevent things rather than go through them, because I do have positive experiences to enjoy instead. I do not believe in a great value of a heartache, I honetly do not believe it, although I did experience it. I do not come from a theoretical base only. I do not believe an experience with an asshole can make me a better person, because if I try my very hard to avoid it, I may just make the most wonderful person the happiest man and he can do the same. Again, there is no value in wasting your life on assholes. None. I have made mistakes in life, and yes Ge Ge I can make tough choices and decisions over night given I have all the data avaialable. I am not afraid of looking at hard facts with an honest look and move on. I believe there are plenty of other mistakes in life you can make to improve myself as a person than to give the best of myself to an asshole who was not worth one bit of me. That is a true waste. If you cannot prevent it, you'd better realize it as soon as possible, move on, and no way say it was worth it. It was simply a chance and a mistake.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

Don't degrade anyone - not even your ex-husbands - like that; if you stayed with them in long marriages like 20 years and more than these men couldn't be that bad after all I am wondering .......

[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:

Hey, Girls, why are that *ASSHOLE* thing here on that thread, on this forum?

Don't degrade anyone - not even your ex-husbands - like that; if you stayed with them in long marriages like 20 years and more than these men couldn't be that bad after all I am wondering .......

[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 21 August 2004).]

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Tigerlilly, I would not degrade a husband as I have never been married. But cheats, liars, and those who take advantage of somebody else's trust and love, are assholes. plainly assholes. no degrdation there? It is like calling milk "milk".

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by katrina:
Shareen, what kind of advice is this suggesting getting involved with a gigolo? What is that you gained from being with a gigolo?

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Read my words again Katrina. I did not advise to get involved with a gigolo. I simply said "follow your heart" and "life is for living" etc etc.
May I also add that I categorically stated my ex husband was NOT an asshole, and that my Orfi husband was only a minor asshole. And dont you think it is kind of sad if we have to analyse everyone we meet just in case they turn out to be assholes in the future? We can try to protect ourselves from heartache, but in reality we can never truely know someone until we have lived with them for a number of years. Life is all about taking risks, not holding back just in case the risk is too great.

And I have always advocated that if anyone is in a relationship with a potential gigolo, then that is fine, as long as that person is fully aware of the risks and is prepared to take those risks for the sake of happiness, but who will also know when to walk away and not have any regrets.

Like I said, I had my Orfi, he never had my money and I only gained from the it. I am not prepared to discuss either of my relationships on a public forum. The details will remain private.

As for Jane, have you met her husband? Or her daughter? Or her co-wife? No? Well may I suggest that you cease telling her how her life is and what mistakes she is making. I do know Jane, from before she left here to live in Egypt. She knows the risks..... fully..... she left here and took the risk, and so far, it is working for her and for her daughter. Maybe one day it wont work, who knows? None of us know what our future will be. But at least both Jane and her daughter have experienced a full and rewarding life.

My husband has been part of my life for more than 40 years. He is not an a*hole but for a while I was bored and wanted something different. The next one was an a*hole and still is. My income is for life. If I chose to spend my life with him he will dote on me until the day I die. I choose not to. If I had chosen that route would my relationship have been classed as a success?

Jane and GeGe's relationships are still far too new to be classed as either success or failures. I think that almost every orfi wife was happy at the beginning and was still happy a few years later. I know I was. Where marriage is concerned success or failure is usually measured in longevity. I wish Jane and GeGe every luck. They know the odds. GeGe can cocme back in fifteen years and repost her story then as a success.

It is the balance of what is gained and lost from the relationship that perhaps counts more than age itself. I lost part of my savings but I gained a love of Egypt. My income is safe and large enough for me to live without any financial concerns. But, even though I would do it again - I would not do it twice. I will never get involved again with a man that is so much younger than me.

If Gege can live her life, keep her purse closed and not build the flats, buy the car and start the business until all her money is gone then she will be OK. Then if it all goes wrong she still has choices. Those that are bitter are the women who have lost everything and unfortunately although they do not post on any forums, they are the majority. GeGe keep enough to one side to make sure that your future is secure and then you can take all the risks without any bitterness later .

Penny was right to smile at the better to have love an a*hole and lost than not to have loved an a*hole at all - it was priceless.

Sorry dear, but love is not something you can turn on and off like a light switch. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

But I understand the point you're trying to make, and Shareen summed it up well. Know the RISK involved, and even if it does not succeed, you knew what you were getting yourself into.

This is why I don't have sympathy for women that get involved in risky orfi marriages gone bad, because I believe they knew they were taking a risk, and they got something out of it as well. It's like feeling sorry for a woman that had the best one night stand in her life, and gets sad because the guy didn't call her the next morning.

I look at some of those relationships like a long term one night stand, enjoy it while it lasting, and don't come whining to anyone when it's over, because you are smart enough to know what you were getting yourself into. And I will NOT say I told you so, because I think you already knew yourself.

I heard a Blues singer once sing a song to a lady "If it feels this good being used, just keep on using me, until you use me up"

Then he ended the song with "Because I sure am using you too"

So these women are getting something out of it too, don't let them fool you. Even if its nothing but good sex, it's enough for them to convince themselves it's love. Let them live with it.
 

I know from reading back through the posts that you say you will not accept another wife but when it comes to the crunch - you will.

You are right ANM. The whole thing is a business deal. It's a balance between what you get and what you lose. Keep enough back to ensure your security and enjoy it for what it is.

Swap the words positive and negative for success or failure and there is still a time element. If you are still together after fifteen years you can post a positive story that everyone will believe. If it falls apart, get on with your life.

My partner would have 'loved' me all the way to the bank for the rest of my life. It was a business deal. I bought him. I have no illusions about that.

Katrina is a bit too analytical where love is concerned as love is completely blind, but she does speak some sense.

[This message has been edited by Luxorlover (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Katrina dear, love is not a scientific experiment, say I'll have 2 litres of [b]affection, 10 ounces of good looks, and 30 pounds of brains, then I'll fall in love with him. Oops, he's slacking off here..need to add a few more miligrams of trust...damn! Still not working. I need to give him a few more injections of respect...Okay perfect, now I'll fall in love with him...Darn it! There he goes again. I'll just add a couple more table spoons of charm and a pinch of good manners. Let me look at this again, hmmmm . I think he's missing a dose of success, and just maybe a tad bit of sense of humore..Now I'm in love. Oh No! He's losing some of that charm. I have to shut my love off.

Sorry dear, but love is not something you can turn on and off like a light switch. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

But I understand the point you're trying to make, and Shareen summed it up well. Know the RISK involved, and even if it does not succeed, you knew what you were getting yourself into.

This is why I don't have sympathy for women that get involved in risky orfi marriages gone bad, because I believe they knew they were taking a risk, and they got something out of it as well. It's like feeling sorry for a woman that had the best one night stand in her life, and gets sad because the guy didn't call her the next morning.

I look at some of those relationships like a long term one night stand, enjoy it while it lasting, and don't come whining to anyone when it's over, because you are smart enough to know what you were getting yourself into. And I will NOT say I told you so, because I think you already knew yourself.

I heard a Blues singer once sing a song to a lady "If it feels this good being used, just keep on using me, until you use me up"

Then he ended the song with "Because I sure am using you too"

So these women are getting something out of it too, don't let them fool you. Even if its nothing but good sex, it's enough for them to convince themselves it's love. Let them live with it.[/B]

---

Exactly my point!! At long last I have found a post of yours ANM that I can wholeheartedly agree with. LOL
Great post!

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Katrina dear, love is not a scientific experiment, say I'll have 2 litres of [b]affection, 10 ounces of good looks, and 30 pounds of brains, then I'll fall in love with him. Oops, he's slacking off here..need to add a few more miligrams of trust...damn! Still not working. I need to give him a few more injections of respect...Okay perfect, now I'll fall in love with him...Darn it! There he goes again. I'll just add a couple more table spoons of charm and a pinch of good manners. Let me look at this again, hmmmm . I think he's missing a dose of success, and just maybe a tad bit of sense of humore..Now I'm in love. Oh No! He's losing some of that charm. I have to shut my love off.

Sorry dear, but love is not something you can turn on and off like a light switch. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

But I understand the point you're trying to make, and Shareen summed it up well. Know the RISK involved, and even if it does not succeed, you knew what you were getting yourself into.

This is why I don't have sympathy for women that get involved in risky orfi marriages gone bad, because I believe they knew they were taking a risk, and they got something out of it as well. It's like feeling sorry for a woman that had the best one night stand in her life, and gets sad because the guy didn't call her the next morning.

I look at some of those relationships like a long term one night stand, enjoy it while it lasting, and don't come whining to anyone when it's over, because you are smart enough to know what you were getting yourself into. And I will NOT say I told you so, because I think you already knew yourself.

I heard a Blues singer once sing a song to a lady "If it feels this good being used, just keep on using me, until you use me up"

Then he ended the song with "Because I sure am using you too"

So these women are getting something out of it too, don't let them fool you. Even if its nothing but good sex, it's enough for them to convince themselves it's love. Let them live with it.[/B]

---

AnothernewMember, did you write that recipe just for the sake of writing, because my analysis did not imply any of that?!

i do believe that love is not something you can turn on and off, unless you did fall for an absolute asshole. Actually I believe in love, forgiveness, patience, appreciation, and years of loving and tender relationship, but what I SAID WAS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHOM YOU GIVE THESE QUALITIES TO? CERTAINLY NOT TO SOMEONE WHO YOU THOUGHT YOU LOVED BUT RIPPED YOU OFF for money or betrayed. I said your critical thinking helps you to determine and see it through before you jump with your "blindness" and save this greatest virtues for the one who TRULY DESERVES! ALL I SAID WAS ABOUT USING YOUR HEAD TO AVOID THE ASSHOLE who will waste your life. NO I DO NOT BELIEVE IT IS WORTH IT. A good man ONLY is worth taking the risk, worth forgiveness, patience, understanding, etc.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

Ps. Please kindly note that I have not mentioned the size of what you dirty minds you.

[This message has been edited by Karah_Mia (edited 21 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
What foxes me is that GeGe says he cheated on her after 27 years and that finished the relationship which she has termed a failure. What is cheating? If he was with his other wife would be 'cheating' on you every other night? If he already had a wife would you then become 'the other woman' that you so reviled when you husband did it. You would not stand it from your first husband but you might stand it from the second because it is a different culture?

You are right ANM. The whole thing is a business deal. It's a balance between what you get and what you lose. Keep enough back to ensure your security and enjoy it for what it is.

Swap the words positive and negative for success or failure and there is still a time element. If you are still together after fifteen years you can post a positive story that everyone will believe. If it falls apart, get on with your life.

My partner would have 'loved' me all the way to the bank for the rest of my life. It was a business deal. I bought him. I have no illusions about that.

Katrina is a bit too analytical where love is concerned as love is completely blind, but she does speak some sense.

---

I did not term my marriage of 27 years a failure I said he had an affair behind my back so quite clearly he did not love me anymore did he,I firmly beleive that if you love someone you do not betray them. How would I feel about a second wife,my egyptian friend knows that there is no way I would tolerate that,I have made it quite clear as I have several other points.I have been totally upfront with him.But I never have great expectations in life, I take each day as it comes.I have learnt that people change and what they may love today they dont tomorrow.My ex husband of 27 years was a good hard working man and a good father, he made a mistake,(so he says now) one which I could not tolerate. I am not a forgiving person where infidelity is concerned. But I assume when a muslim wants to take a second wife he has to discuss it with the first and there has to be a good reason.But I do not know how you love two people at the same time. But I guess thats just my view.And LL would you never trust and egyptian man again? You have had an experience which has made you wiser and able to advise others for which I thank you.And if I to am back here reporting a bad experience, the year I have had with him I will not have regretted because he has changed my life, from looking on the negative side to being positive.And no I do not regret for one minute the time I had with my ex husband we had many good years and a beautiful daughter. I have never bought a man in my life and I do not intend to,that was your perogative and quite clearly you were happy to do that at the time,but in hindsite you regret it,but,you had a good time you loved him and no doubt he loved you and whether it was for your money which was part of you does it really matter.If it is older man younger woman it is acceptable for him to support her so why not the other way. Are you still in egypt?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
[B
... but,you had a good time you loved him and no doubt he loved you and whether it was for your money which was part of you does it really matter.[/B]

---

Tough cookie, GeGe, actually no one wants to be loved for that reason. If you both - you and your partner - agree in this point well then you have found each other.......

I assume you know what to expect from this ongoing relationship, he might like you for your money, he might get a second wife later on...... thats the way how life goes.

In this case you are totally right. Enjoy yourself and take every day as it comes!

[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Karah_Mia:
Ahem ahem, well, coming back to the original question dear ladies and germs, it is not the age but size that matters.

Ps. Please kindly note that I have not mentioned the size of what you dirty minds you.

[This message has been edited by Karah_Mia (edited 21 August 2004).]

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Does size matter? Surely quality is much more important?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

---

Yes age matters/ for every old woman in here stay away from young Egyptian guys. Do them a favor!

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by katrina:
AnothernewMember, did you write that recipe just for the sake of writing, because my analysis did not imply any of that?!

i do believe that love is not something you can turn on and off, unless you did fall for an absolute asshole. Actually I believe in love, forgiveness, patience, appreciation, and years of loving and tender relationship, but what I SAID WAS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHOM YOU GIVE THESE QUALITIES TO? CERTAINLY NOT TO SOMEONE WHO YOU THOUGHT YOU LOVED BUT RIPPED YOU OFF for money or betrayed. I said your critical thinking helps you to determine and see it through before you jump with your "blindness" and save this greatest virtues for the one who TRULY DESERVES! ALL I SAID WAS ABOUT USING YOUR HEAD TO AVOID THE ASSHOLE who will waste your life. NO I DO NOT BELIEVE IT IS WORTH IT. A good man ONLY is worth taking the risk, worth forgiveness, patience, understanding, etc.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 21 August 2004).]

---

No Katrina, I wrote the recipe as an anology to emphasize how unrealistic your "risk analysis" sound. What you fail to realize is that people don't look at at man and say, "Hmmmmm, there's a nice 'asshole' I think I'll fall in love with him" Do you realize how silly this statement sounds, yet that is the analysis you tried to make.

Katrina people fall in love with people they think are one way, and oftentimes that person turns out to be an "asshole" later!

In other words there is NO RECIPE for a successful OUTCOME! To make that assumption is assuming people never change.

If you don't get that point, I'm afraid you live in a closed up world, warped in your OWN illusions.

I feel that you have a lot a double standards, although I respect you as an intelligent yound lady, but from some of the few things I've acknowledged, you have double standards, and you're not always consistent in your view.

For example- You were amongst the first and most vocal of people showing sympathy towards AMINA on the other thread (who openly admits to being a second wife) Yet you criticize Jane at every opportunity for being a second wife.

You find it's okay for a man to be much older than a woman, even with the generation gap, but you don't find it okay for a woman to be older than a man- it's a recipe for disaster. But yet on the other thread you try to come across as a 21st century liberalists, that thinks "the class system in Egypt is a little outdated". Well I think your close-minded concepts of gender vs age differences are bit conservative in this day of high technology and scientific discoveries changing old idealism on a day to day basis. In laments terms- IT'S OLD_FASHIONED!

You want to portray yourself as a Renaissance woman on the one hand, then old-fashioned concepts on the other. The world does not revolve around YOUR 'idealistic views' that change with the situation, sorry.

Western women are the pioneers of changing gender roles, and this age thing is just one of the many that you may have to get used to whether you like it or not. Even the concept of the female being the 'bread winner' is becoming the norm in this century, Katrina- get used to it.

I don't have a problem with anyone's age difference. I just don't like to hear them whining about being hurt if things don't pan out, because I think they are intelligent and above all they have common sense to know what RISK they are taking.

Katrina you live in a country that thrives on taking risks. People have lost their entire life savings in stock market crashes, even with the best financial advisors money can buy. Some may have avoided another risk- say with Microsoft stocks, and regret, "Darn I could have been a millionaire, if I had just invested in that stock."

Well these ladies are taking a risk with THEIR lives, and at the end of the day, if they get hurt and lose everything they have, THEY have to live with it. And I would HOPE they don't come to a forum to whine about it, but they do, and that's what invites negative opinions, and they are foing to have to LIVE WITH THOSE OPINIONS TOO!

 

There are so many people whose lives have been affected by their partners behaviour.So many of my friends husbands have had affairs.Some have stayed only to regret it some have parted.But we all have choices whether we chose to have a younger or older partner is entirely up to the parties involved.And when you fall in love with a man you think has come from heaven and he turns out to be from hell, that is tough, but you do not crumple up and die,yes you hurt, but you do get over it believe me.The older you become the more you live each day and you take life in your stride.Personally I have had so much to contend with in the last 2 years that nothing ever surprises me now.So no I dont not think age matters not to me or my partner ,it is other people that it appears to matter to.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by JOSHUA:
Yes age matters/ for every old woman in here stay away from young Egyptian guys. Do them a favor!

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 22 August 2004).]

---

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

quote:

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Originally posted by Shareen:
Does size matter? Surely quality is much more important?

---

I would definitely say BOTH me perfectionist me.

 

Take the risk. Pick up the pieces if you get broken. Forget the cost and get on with your life. You only get one go at it - so enjoy it. BUT do not mix it with European style romance.

there is a daft line in Red Dwarf - "you are born and then you die. The bit inbetween in called life - enjoy".

[This message has been edited by Luxorlover (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

I am a big advocate of risk, but calculated risks, not blind risks. in America people do not succeed on luck alone by taking just risk, It is a calculated and minimized risk (not fully eliminated) that you take.

1. I never said young woman/old man is ok, I said it si a historical trend and double std, yet I did not approve it, either. I simply stated the fact, which i believe myself is a double std

2. Breadwinner? You know I can give lectures to GROWN UP MEN ABOUT BREADWINNING!

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 23 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Carol_2004:
I think you are all dismissing Katrinas mature and actually positive attutude towards life. As far as I can see she understands Egypt and Egyptian men very well. Why would a young muslim man want to marry someone 20 years his senior? Tell me Ge Ge as you pressume to know so much about Egypt what is the most important thing in an Egyptian mans life (we are talking majority here of course)? Family. Can a 50 yr old give him children? probably not. Is he marrying you for your youth and beauty? nope. Are you from a good family (egyptian ideals of course) nope. So ask yourself what is it he is with you for. Believe me there is always something. I would say he probably believes you have money. It doesn't matter how many times you will say you haven't he will never believe it. Wake up for gods sake. As you said you are an attractive woman and seem very intellegent. But I will back Katrina up on this one all the way.

---

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

For her hot rack?

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by EgyptianGuy:

[B] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Carol_2004:
As far as I can see she understands Egypt and Egyptian men very well. Why would a young muslim man want to marry someone 20 years his senior?

For her hot rack?

---

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by katrina:
Another new member,

I am a big advocate of risk, but calculated risks, not blind risks. in America people do not succeed on luck alone by taking just risk, It is a calculated and minimized risk (not fully eliminated) that you take.

1. I never said young woman/old man is ok, I said it si a historical trend and double std, yet I did not approve it, either. I simply stated the fact, which i believe myself is a double std

2. Breadwinner? You know I can give lectures to GROWN UP MEN ABOUT BREADWINNING! A few facts, I was making more money than my both parents together when I was 16 just graduating from high school before I entered University in Russia working in tundra at oil exploration sites as a translator for Conoco. I taught children English my freshman year in Russia where all teachers were in their 30s and 40s! At 19 I was by myself in America comign with $300 in my pocket after an exchange year in America. None gave me money, neither did I choose a rich man to sponsor me, but I got my undergrad at one of the best schools in America getting scholarship for acadmics and leadership for my perfect 4.00GPA, as well as working as a tutor, Student Senate, International Students Club, lobbying US govt at Capital Hill for more state funds for education. I am graduating from #1 school in finance in the world. All my smarts and hard work! I earned my family a brand new car, vacation all over Europe, trip for my mother to USA and stay for 5 months, her tour of the US, my sister's education, as well as constant financial support of my family in Russia including their health care as well as I live in ritzy area in Chicago and about to own my own place because I do make very sound decisions in life, good living, standing firmly and proudly on my feet at 27! Upon graduation I can go to top companies in the world, after that CEO position to crown that breadwinning thingy you think I do not believe and I do not do!? Personally, I do not know one American peer who had and handled as much responsibility as I have. if you do, please, let me know before you make assumptions

P.S. By 16, i had seen the disintergration of the former Soviet union, HYPERINFLATION of grotesque proportions (in USA, by the way people are scared about 1% increase!), political coups, multiple financial crises, silent unemployment when people are not paid for months but work. It takes an idealist (with illusions and dreams, you said ) to believe in yourself and have a vision and crisp-minded realist/doer to implement and walk through the adventure and risks I have taken to achieve results.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]

---

What is it about the University of Chicago that attracts all these beautiful, hyper-confident, single, Eastern European/Asian women, who after facing the most devastating tragedies in their own countries, manage to get to America at the age of 19 to study in the best school, and who at the same time as studying, manage to support themselves and their families to amazingly high standards of living; who only mix with beautiful people in intellectual circles; despite being in their late 20’s and either celibate/never having lost their heart to any man they love to discuss/give advice on the subject of love/relationships supporting their arguments with the latest academic theories, dissing anyone who falls in love with a man younger than themselves/or has a “filthy”/disreputable relationship by their standards; and who become very attached to Egypt related boards despite the fact that they have never visited the country and just have a few Egyptian friends in the States? Just wondering!
 

Academic interest, research, and opportunity to study the culture interactively. Why Egypt? First, increased tension in the region between Palestine and Israel. later 9/11-both contributed to my interest to understand the part of the world I did not pay much attention to before. Egypt does play a special role as one of the best US allies in the region. Unfortunately, US media does not portray the region to the level of understanding that would satisfy me. I studied Egypt before, but by accident discovered board culture I did not realize existed before. Although in many ways I believe forums are very biased, they still have a great value for interactive alive learning you certainly do not get on CNN, BBC.

Additionally, I made friends with some wonderful people on ES and YE. I hang out with them this way as they do not live nearby. I enjoyed debates with some on politics and other issues initially.

Finally, I guess just like yourself, newcomer, after anyone stays on boards for some even a short time, it becomes a habit, part of routine perhaps, to some a bad addiction.

I hope your questions are answered to your satisfaction. Believe me not everyone comes here to cry about his/her broken heart in Hurgada or Sharm or Luxor.

Perhaps, I have done enough research, so you won't have to wonder anymore

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]
 

[This message has been edited by newcomer (edited 23 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by katrina:
Academic interest, research, and opportunity to study the culture interactively. Why Egypt? First, increased tension in the region between Palestine and Israel. later 9/11-both contributed to my interest to understand the part of the world I did not pay much attention to before. Egypt does play a special role as one of the best US allies in the region. Unfortunately, US media does not portray the region to the level of understanding that would satisfy me. I studied Egypt before, but by accident discovered board culture I did not realize existed before. Although in many ways I believe forums are very biased, they still have a great value for interactive alive learning you certainly do not get on CNN, BBC.

Additionally, I made friends with some wonderful people on ES and YE. I hang out with them this way as they do not live nearby. I enjoyed debates with some on politics and other issues initially.

Finally, I guess just like yourself, newcomer, after anyone stays on boards for some even a short time, it becomes a habit, part of routine perhaps, to some a bad addiction.

I hope your questions are answered to your satisfaction. Believe me not everyone comes here to cry about his/her broken heart in Hurgada or Sharm or Luxor.

Perhaps, I have done enough research, so you won't have to wonder anymore

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by newcomer:
My wondering was caused by a severe case of deja vu when I read your messages as the tone and style of many of them reminded me very much of someone else who used to post here a while ago. Her personal situation mirrored yours to such an amazing degree, and she used to describe her history, lifestyle, achievements, aspirations, attitudes and attachments to other people in such a similar way to you, using very similar expressions too, that it is quite eerie sometimes!

---

I can assure you that I did not participate on ES or any other forum egyptian or non-egyptian prior to March 2004. Neither did/do I maintain multiple user names (just this one).

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 23 August 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by katrina:
Another new member,

I am a big advocate of risk, but calculated risks, not blind risks. in America people do not succeed on luck alone by taking just risk, It is a calculated and minimized risk (not fully eliminated) that you take.

1. I never said young woman/old man is ok, I said it si a historical trend and double std, yet I did not approve it, either. I simply stated the fact, which i believe myself is a double std

2. Breadwinner? You know I can give lectures to GROWN UP MEN ABOUT BREADWINNING! A few facts, I was making more money than my both parents together when I was 16 just graduating from high school before I entered University in Russia working in tundra at oil exploration sites as a translator for Conoco. I taught children English my freshman year in Russia where all teachers were in their 30s and 40s! At 19 I was by myself in America comign with $300 in my pocket after an exchange year in America. None gave me money, neither did I choose a rich man to sponsor me, but I got my undergrad at one of the best schools in America getting scholarship for acadmics and leadership for my perfect 4.00GPA, as well as working as a tutor, Student Senate, International Students Club, lobbying US govt at Capital Hill for more state funds for education. I am graduating from #1 school in finance in the world. All my smarts and hard work! I earned my family a brand new car, vacation all over Europe, trip for my mother to USA and stay for 5 months, her tour of the US, my sister's education, as well as constant financial support of my family in Russia including their health care as well as I live in ritzy area in Chicago and about to own my own place because I do make very sound decisions in life, good living, standing firmly and proudly on my feet at 27! Upon graduation I can go to top companies in the world, after that CEO position to crown that breadwinning thingy you think I do not believe and I do not do!? Personally, I do not know one American peer who had and handled as much responsibility as I have. if you do, please, let me know before you make assumptions

P.S. By 16, i had seen the disintergration of the former Soviet union, HYPERINFLATION of grotesque proportions (in USA, by the way people are scared about 1% increase!), political coups, multiple financial crises, silent unemployment when people are not paid for months but work. It takes an idealist (with illusions and dreams, you said ) to believe in yourself and have a vision and crisp-minded realist/doer to implement and walk through the adventure and risks I have taken to achieve results.

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 22 August 2004).]

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And Katrina you are not a happy person.Why,because you do not love anyone except yourself.And carol why was I with my ex husband who was 20 years older than me for 27 years,oh yes of course money.When I "attached" myself to him he was 25000 pounds in debt.
I have aboslutely no illusions in life I have been hurt to many times.
And yes I am very intelligent, have a fantastic business,homes in different parts of the world and a great car.And has it made me happy.No,a young man from a small village in Egypt,who has worked his ass off to get where he has today has made me happy and changed my view on life.Why, because he is refreshing,untainted,not cynical,kind,
considerate and above all has a wonderful personality and a heart.
When I married my ex husband my mother never spoke to me for 25 years because she did not agree with our age difference.She died shortly after we became friends again.She missed out on so many things especially her grandaughter.That is what her attitute to age cost her.Pathetic you may think,but from some of the answers on this board I can see what she was thinking.And was the 27 years I spent with him worth the estrangement from my mother-yes every single day.

You have to be open minded in this world and above all try not to be to judgemental.

And Carol is it only an unintelligent person that would have a relationship with a 20 year age gap?
 

P.S. your statment is illogical because a selfish person in love with herself/himself only as you are trying to portay me, would not suffer form not loving anybody, but would be content with life, because he or she is indeed selfish

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 23 August 2004).]
 

[This message has been edited by Manoesh (edited 23 August 2004).]
 

Sometimes I am wondering if ES is similar to having an appointment with your psychologist ......... the difference is only your doctor knows about your problems - here on ES everyone gets to know........
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:

Sometimes I am wondering if ES is similar to having an appointment with your psychologist ......... the difference is only your doctor knows about your problems - here on ES everyone gets to know........

---

Someone said it was like driving past a road accident. You know you shouldn't slow down and have a look but the temptation is irrestible.

------------------
Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor
 

quote:

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Originally posted by katrina:
I am pretty happy. I do not love just myself Gege. If you read the post well I love my family tremendously and I would not have a problem loving a man who is worth it. No need to say that I am "unhappy" or not "happy" and that I "just love myself" just because I pointed out to you that I doubt the love of your man because of your huge age gap. I concluded nothing about your ability to love anybody but only suggested that you maynot see through your own situation because you are driven by "blind forces" and apply too much of your own culture to the situation and disregarding Egyptian culture

P.S. your statment is illogical because a selfish person in love with herself/himself only as you are trying to portay me, would not suffer form not loving anybody, but would be content with life, because he or she is indeed selfish

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 23 August 2004).]

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Katrina I am niether blind or ignoring Egyptian culture.I cannot apply logic to my situation because I am in love with a man.
He is not a penniless unintelligent giggilo as everyone suspects.
I am sorry that I said you only love yourself.I am sure you do not.
But I find people so judgemental and if they knew the full facts about my relationship they would change their opinion.
Most people have assumed he is after my money,could it be that I am after his.
People have just judged the situation to be rich older woman younger penniless man.Why.Because maybe it is envy and they are unhappy with their own lives. The question was does age matter, not how rich I am or he is, that is unimportant!
 

Also make sure there is a substantial dowry. You are right GeGe not to listen to bitter tales of relationships gone wrong but at least listen to the facts. Egypt is a very deceiving place. On the surface it doesn't seem that doifferent to the UK but it is very very different. For example, I don't know if you are sleeping to gether when you visit you refer to him as your partener so I can only assume you are. You are not married so he has very little or no respect for you FACT. Take Care GeGe and learn a little more about the culture not just the parts that this man and his friends choose you to know.
 

Also make sure there is a substantial dowry. You are right GeGe not to listen to bitter tales of relationships gone wrong but at least listen to the facts. Egypt is a very deceiving place. On the surface it doesn't seem that doifferent to the UK but it is very very different. For example, I don't know if you are sleeping to gether when you visit you refer to him as your partener so I can only assume you are. You are not married so he has very little or no respect for you FACT. Take Care GeGe and learn a little more about the culture not just the parts that this man and his friends choose you to know.
 

Carol, Can I contact you off-forum? Lizasutton@hotmail.com
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Sami16:
Natashiah,

I didn't take it the wrong way. When I was your age I thought that life ended at forty and I couldn't even comprehend, oh my God, people having sex in their fifties and sixites. Now I know that life just starts at fifty. I was your age when my favorite boss who was fifty at that time told me that. She was a very attractive woman and had any number of men interested in her. She was definitely right. Some things do get MUCH better with age, love, and a genuine desire borne out of a shared history to make each other happy. This may come as a surprise to many but not all women that are fifty are ugly, dried up old prunes. Many women are like a fine wine, they definitely get better with age.

Take care, Sami

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Gees...I guess I wasnt meant to reply!I tried 3 times to post but it dissapeared everytime!...So I will just say...I HEAR YOU DOLL!

No problem. Thanks. You go girl!!!!

Sami
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Carol_2004:
GeGe I never judged you once I actually pity the situation you are getting into. As Katrina has already said you are assuming that the Egyptian culture is the same as Western culture. Whether you chose to accept it or not they are completly different. All I have tried to do is tell it like it is. I have lived in Egypt for some time and have seen these situations with my own eyes. I was trying to educate to on the Egyptian culture. I am not denying this young man is fond of you I'm sure he is but be under no illusions there is no way in this world he loves you. You have just said yourself you own propeties have you own business etc. You say he has his own money and started off as a vilage boy. How do you think he got that money? Hard graft alone? Think about it GeGe it is not like the UK where it is difficult but not impossible to pull yourself up in the world through hard work. This is Egypt and it is 99% impossible! My bet is he had a helping hand along the way. So he is keen on living in the UK is he? I bet he is. Just see if he gets a visa then you will know the kind of person he really is. Wake up GeGe you seem such a nice lady don't do this to yourself.
However, on a more positive note because I'm sure you will ignore everything I have said and rightly so. It can occassionally work. OK here is my mystic meg bit. If it lasts you will end up opening a business of some sort together (with your financial imput of course) and a few years down the line he will want to have children and will take a second Egyptian wife. Think about it is that something you can deal with? because it will happen. Of course there is one way to be sure of minimum heart ache. Suggest you get married at the Ministry of Justice in Cairo. Tell him you want to put the following stipulations in the marriage contract:
* You are free to leave the country as and when you choose.
* Upon your death he is not entitled to any of your financial assets.
* If adultry is committed you are entitled to divorce.
* If he wants to take a second wife he must divorce you.

Also make sure there is a substantial dowry. You are right GeGe not to listen to bitter tales of relationships gone wrong but at least listen to the facts. Egypt is a very deceiving place. On the surface it doesn't seem that doifferent to the UK but it is very very different. For example, I don't know if you are sleeping to gether when you visit you refer to him as your partener so I can only assume you are. You are not married so he has very little or no respect for you FACT. Take Care GeGe and learn a little more about the culture not just the parts that this man and his friends choose you to know.

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Carol carol carol,Listen very carefully.I did not float down the Nile on a water biscuit.
How dare you insult my intelligence by assuming that I have no idea of Egyptian culture.I do not need your advice and I never sought it.If you feel you have to make yourself important by those means then I feel sorry for you.

You do not know me or my friend and to suggest he does not love me when you have no idea is extraordinary.

I fully comprehend the egyptian culture.I would not be in a relationship with anyone from a different country unless I had explored their culture and background. And as you do not know me or my friend please save
your advice for your friends,if you have any.

And tut tut Carol you know you cannot sleep with a man in Egypt unless you are married to him.So yet another assumption on your part.

So once again Carol the question was does age matter,not is he after my money, my body
my house my car..........

Get a life Carol, is quite easy to.

If Egypt is such a deceiptive country why do you continue to stay there, you obviously do not like the people they are all cheats are they not.
One further point you are not married are you?
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Carol carol carol,Listen very carefully.I did not float down the Nile on a water biscuit.
How dare you insult my intelligence by assuming that I have no idea of Egyptian culture.I do not need your advice and I never sought it.If you feel you have to make yourself important by those means then I feel sorry for you.

You put your life on the internet - you will get responses! I'm sorry you are too pig ignorant to take the advise of people that know the country a damn sight better than you.

You do not know me or my friend and to suggest he does not love me when you have no idea is extraordinary.

I didn't suggest I said there is no way in this world that is not a suggestion.

I fully comprehend the egyptian culture.I would not be in a relationship with anyone from a different country unless I had explored their culture and background. And as you do not know me or my friend please save
your advice for your friends,if you have any.

If you fully comprehended the Egyptian culture then you would not be with your friend and you would not be starting a topic regarding age gaps in relationships. I can only assume you meant age gaps in relationships within Egypt as this is an Egyptian Forum.

And tut tut Carol you know you cannot sleep with a man in Egypt unless you are married to him.So yet another assumption on your part.

I did say myself I do not know if you are so I can only assume. I appologise this was my mistake if you are not.

So once again Carol the question was does age matter,not is he after my money, my body
my house my car..........

Yes age does matter in a relationship in Egypt.

Get a life Carol, is quite easy to.

I have one thank you I don't need to make frequent trips to Egypt to feel like I do.

If Egypt is such a deceiptive country why do you continue to stay there, you obviously do not like the people they are all cheats are they not.

You misunderstood my point. Egypt is deceiptive. It has a huge tourism industry and there are alot of places geared towards tourists. In my opinion this creates the illusion that Egypt is verging on having western attitudes to behaviour, dress etc. It is NOT.

One further point you are not married are you?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:

Sometimes I am wondering if ES is similar to having an appointment with your psychologist ......... the difference is only your doctor knows about your problems - here on ES everyone gets to know........

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LOLOLOL............GOOD LAUGH TIGER

quote:

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:

Sometimes I am wondering if ES is similar to having an appointment with your psychologist ......... the difference is only your doctor knows about your problems - here on ES everyone gets to know........

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LOLOLOL............GOOD LAUGH TIGER

quote:

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:

Sometimes I am wondering if ES is similar to having an appointment with your psychologist ......... the difference is only your doctor knows about your problems - here on ES everyone gets to know........

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LOLOLOLOL

Heeheee

quote:

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Originally posted by Shareen:

Exactly my point!! At long last I have found a post of yours ANM that I can wholeheartedly agree with. LOL
Great post!

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I missed this the first time around

Shukran my dear

 

quote:

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Originally posted by newcomer:
What is it about the University of Chicago that attracts all these beautiful, hyper-confident, single, Eastern European/Asian women, who after facing the most devastating tragedies in their own countries, manage to get to America at the age of 19 to study in the best school, and who at the same time as studying, manage to support themselves and their families to amazingly high standards of living; who only mix with beautiful people in intellectual circles; despite being in their late 20’s and either celibate/never having lost their heart to any man they love to discuss/give advice on the subject of love/relationships supporting their arguments with the latest academic theories, dissing anyone who falls in love with a man younger than themselves/or has a “filthy”/disreputable relationship by their standards; and who become very attached to Egypt related boards despite the fact that they have never visited the country and just have a few Egyptian friends in the States? Just wondering!

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Interesting observation Newcomer, I'm so bored right now, I think I'll go look through the archives of that other young beautiful lady attending law school from Sarajevo.

 

quote:

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Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Interesting observation Newcomer, I'm so bored right now, I think I'll go look through the archives of that other young beautiful lady attending law school from Sarajevo.

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WOW you MUST be really REALLY bored, LOL

------------------
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
 

quote:

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Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Interesting observation Newcomer, I'm so bored right now, I think I'll go look through the archives of that other young beautiful lady attending law school from Sarajevo.

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Ps. Sharing opinions and learning from each other does not mean ALWAYS proving I AM RIGHT NOT YOU, ya people here. (Ragazzi please don't kill, it is just my humble opinion... )

quote:

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Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Interesting observation Newcomer, I'm so bored right now, I think I'll go look through the archives of that other young beautiful lady attending law school from Sarajevo.

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Ahhhhhhh you mean Boy George is back? Omg..... I am so dumb sometimes

 

quote:

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Originally posted by lotusflower:
My Egyptian husband is 9 years younger than me and most people think that we are of the same age - I told him he is ageing faster than me!!

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My situation is similar..i'm 27 and my egiptian husband 20.. Everybody gives me no more than 25 and him no less than 25.. so in eyes of others people we are same age.. I hope it'll not change in future
 

quote:

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Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Dream catcher just hit POST REPLY one time and wait on the page to reload.

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BLUSH BLUSH..................cooks...........LOL
my intention was not 2 post same post a million times............lol..........no i did not have a blonde moment..however, my puter............froze........then i thought msg had not gone through.............oooi vey..........then i had 2 delete a million post.eventually got so fed up and left..........but be4 that i was sitting like a poop paul trying 2 delete them.............then the more i deleted.........................flip...the more there were....geee.............just to tell tiger i enjoyed her SOH.
what a mission..............i am exhausted.......harooooooooooo. The joys of modern technology..............lol.....i dont think so

[This message has been edited by dreamcatcher (edited 23 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by dreamcatcher:
BLUSH BLUSH..................cooks...........LOL
my intention was not 2 post same post a million times............lol..........no i did not have a blonde moment..however, my puter............froze........then i thought msg had not gone through.............oooi vey..........then i had 2 delete a million post.eventually got so fed up and left..........but be4 that i was sitting like a poop paul trying 2 delete them.............then the more i deleted.........................flip...the more there were....geee.............just to tell tiger i enjoyed her SOH.
what a mission..............i am exhausted.......harooooooooooo. The joys of modern technology..............lol.....i dont think so

[This message has been edited by dreamcatcher (edited 23 August 2004).]

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Great now I know Im not crazy ....I had the same problem yesterday...my PC just kept on deleting everything...and eventually changed my mind and did not reply!

 

If they think of it as a business deal they will be OK. They buy flats, cars and businesses. They buy the illusion of love from a very good actor. There is nothing wrong with that. Just keep enough money back so that you do not have to go back to your own country penniless and bitter. If you like Egypt make sure you have sufficient resources to stay.

(Ten years is nothing - it's anywhere between 20 and 40 years that I am talking about).

AND yes you can sleep with whoever you like here in Luxor without the police bothering you just as long as it is in his home (condoned by his family) or in yours (that flat that you rented for the week). The police stop the boys in the street when they see them with older women because they KNOW that in a few years time the door of their Offices will open and the woman will walk in and say "Help me. I've lost everything. He took it all". When what they really mean is that they gave him everything they had and now he has found someone else with more money.

NB: Why is there so much paranoia over who is who, who was once someone else but is now someone different again but will be yetanothernewcomer next week?

Does it matter if they have something intelligent and different to say. I think it only matters when people rejoin in order to specifically hide who they are so that they can insult others. Especially when it is mentioned under yet another set of aliases. Phew! After all that I shall just have to register. (Calm down Hasselchump I don't want you to have to start another line ).

Kat - shall I call myself Ermintrude? For the non-Brits on the Forum - Ermintrude was a dozy, straw-munching cow on Magic Roundabout. A friend of Dillon (Bob not Thomas) Rabbit. Glory Days.

quote:

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Originally posted by baida:
My situation is similar..i'm 27 and my egiptian husband 20.. Everybody gives me no more than 25 and him no less than 25.. so in eyes of others people we are same age.. I hope it'll not change in future

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I think you can get away with that one because you can bear him children.

 

quote:

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Originally posted by Luxorlover:
NB: Why is there so much paranoia over who is who, who was once someone else but is now someone different again but will be yetanothernewcomer next week?

Does it matter if they have something intelligent and different to say. I think it only matters when people rejoin in order to specifically hide who they are so that they can insult others. Especially when it is mentioned under yet another set of aliases. Phew! After all that I shall just have to register. (Calm down Hasselchump I don't want you to have to start another line ).

Kat - shall I call myself Ermintrude? For the non-Brits on the Forum - Ermintrude was a dozy, straw-munching cow on Magic Roundabout. A friend of Dillon (Bob not Thomas) Rabbit. Glory Days.

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Assalamu alaykum Luxorlover!

I think if you check my message you will see that I was just commenting on an incredible set of similarities between a current member and an old member, and not accusing anyone of anything and there is certainly no paranoia on my part, or any need for it. It is just so strange to keep on seeing even more similarities between the two of them emerging as time goes on, that’s all!

And to me it doesn’t matter whether insults are given under an alias or not, in both cases it’s unnecessary.

 

quote:

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Originally posted by Luxorlover:
To stick my spoke in - I would say that all the women here in Luxor (including me and others who think themselves immune) that marry their toy boys really did float down the Nile on a water biscuit. It is just that they were so blinded by luuurve to see that the biscuit was not only sinking but was dissolving around them.

If they think of it as a business deal they will be OK. They buy flats, cars and businesses. They buy the illusion of love from a very good actor. There is nothing wrong with that. Just keep enough money back so that you do not have to go back to your own country penniless and bitter. If you like Egypt make sure you have sufficient resources to stay.

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LL I think you and Carol have got it exactly right. If you can go into it as being a business deal and have no illusions then I guess it has a chance. I do love the bit about flaoting down the Nile on a water buscuit.

Here in Sharm my husband always call it the Sharm supermarket. Come and choose your man, pay the going price and off you go and have a happy life. Well for a few years anyway.

If anyone has any other illusions where the age gap is 20 to 40 years + and at the same time a large wealth gap...then they are just fooling themselves and are storing up a lot of pain for the future.

Penny

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:
WOW you MUST be really REALLY bored, LOL

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Actually I was j/k in one sense, and stating the obvious in the other. I think ANYTIME one comes to a forum (including myself) they must be bored and find it an interesting alternative to real life.

And also to just be frank and say SARAJEVO, since people around here seem to be so afraid to say her name, as if it's going to make her reappear, or as if she ever left, or as if she is under another id, like so many other recycled ID's around here. Mine included.

quote:

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Originally posted by Carol_2004:
Penny and LL that is the sad truth. I guess you do have to question the sort of person that would actually go into a relationship knowing that it was a business deal. You can almost excuse the young lads as their motivation is the perception of a better life. What really saddens me is that some people rather than take on board and attempt to understand the advice given to them by a far more knowledgable source on this subject choose to ignore it through their own arrogance. I don't know everything about every subject but after reading the posts here on ES I do sometimes feel as though I have a degree in it If people would only think logically about their actions these situations would never arise. I mean how you can liken the Egyptian culture to the UK is beyond me it really is. People need to open their eyes. Do you ever see an Egyptian couple where the wife is old enough to be the husbands mother - NEVER!

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I am not really one for giving advice to people but the more I think about there is one possible solution to all this. That is to come and live in Egypt independantly of any man ...work or set up a business make a home but make it very clear you are doing it for yourself. Have a friendship by all means but keep it socially respectable and then just give it time. That way you loose nothing, if he truly loves you he will wait and if not you may have found the new life that you were looking for in any case.

Just a thought ..Penny

 

Please don't get upset by what comments come up here you did suspect what you were letting yourself in for when you started the topic. It's your life and only you can make your own decisions...just remember though most of what is written here is very well intentioned and based on real life experiences...you will see it for yourself when you come and live here. Even if we just open your eyes to what does go on then that can only be a good thing. Can I also just say sometimes these men seem like absolute saints to start with and the problems come much much later. Good luck be happy.

Penny
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Penny:
Can I also just say sometimes these men seem like absolute saints to start with and the problems come much much later. Good luck be happy.

Penny

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But Penny, can't you say this about most relationships that end up going bad? I hear my girlfriends here in the states whine all the time about these same issues - no matter if the man is older or younger. It's not just men. My male friends talk about the women they thought were sooooo wonderful until they realized they just liked them for their money, car, boat...etc. Relationships in general are hard and take a lot of work on both sides. GeGe, I say go for the gold, Girl, and don't look back. You and your love have as much chance of making it as anyone else.
 

Please please please don't quote all the new relationships at me (anything under ten years). Give them time. It is business. That's what the men call it and they laugh about it between themselves. Many actually say that they have to get drunk to make love to their wives. (Honestly - and no I am not a fat ugly old woman who is jealous and afraid to look in the mirror - but I do accept that bikinis are for young women)

Also, the men themselves have many problems with their family, neighbours and friends etc., because everyone knows that they have married for money and have sold themselves. As they walk down the street, comments are thrown. "Jedda" is something that crops up regularly. Grandmother.

Does PRChick live here? I thought from an earlier posting that she lived in the States - which is an entirely different proposition. I have never visited the States and would not give advice on what is acceptable there.

Patience here is lengthy and when it comes to money it is almost infinite. I am not saying this because my relationship went wrong. It did not go wrong. He is still hovering in the background and would move in tomorrow if I would let him. He rings several times each day to tell me how much he loves me. He denies that he ever took a penny from me or that he has ever been 'unfaithful'. Of course, he is an "honest and honourable man". As all the men that marry older women are. I could choose to believe him. I could continue the dream. All I did was wake up and try applying some damage limitation.

If Gege and others apply the damage limitation early then they will be OK. If not then they suffer for their foolishness. Not the foolishness in falling in love - that is out of their hands - but in believing their own fairy tales. Because it really is total illusion and they will find themselves a mirage in their own lives.

BUT IF YOU KNOW THAT AND ACCEPT IT THEN GET ON WITH THE RELATIONSHIP AND ENJOY ITS PLEASURES WHILE THEY ARE ON OFFER. Let's face it, none of us would have had the same chance to grab at youth again in Europe.

(Again please don't tell me about all the offers - I have them too - but only a few are from men twenty plus years my junior whereas here the offers flood in from all areas).

Just the observations of someone who lives here and has heard tales of woe from hundreds of different women who lived in Never Never Land until their wings got burned. Never Never land is a nice place though even though it contains second and third wives (which the women do accept regardless of how much they swear that they will not).

You pays your money and your takes you choice. But, you will pay the money.

Edited for this bit: If age does not matter, why is everyone horrified at 40 plus year age gaps? (Or even a fifty plus age gap that I know of),

[This message has been edited by Luxorlover (edited 25 August 2004).]
 

The thing to remember is that when you are young money means little as whatever you lose you can earn back - but you can't when you are older and an old age in poverty is not a pleasant thought. Only risk what you can afford to lose. Keep that money for your daughter - she is the one that deserves it.

Another thought is that no matter how old you are there will always be another young man (in Luxor) waiting to take over from the one that went

Keep a lock on your purse and a safety net under your heart and you will do fine.
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
.
Well I must go and catch my flight now.I have an appointment with my doctor in Cairo.
he is 20 years my junior,but then you already know that dont you.

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quote:

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Originally posted by newcomer:

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That says it all GeGe! Enjoy yourself.
 

Take care.
 

quote:

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Originally posted by lotusflower:
I know of one couple who are married about 12 years who commute between England and Egypt (winter months in Egypt). She is from London and now in her late 60's, he is Egyptian , circa.37 years. Believe it or not they appear to be a couple "in love" and apparently met when he took her out for a trip on his fellucca so many years ago and then got married within a few days (orfi). They then arranged a legal marriage with the Ministry of Justice in Cairo. Who knows maybe age does not matter. 30 year age gap here!!!!

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Thanks for that little story.

This thread became really weird. GeGe received many advises, opinions and - sadly - even insults. At the end of the day these people are all adults and can live their lives however they want. Its their right of privacy.......

Everything that is posted on internet forums (photos, personal details, etc) is in the public domain.

GeGe posted her story - privacy ended. She knew what to expect (she only has to look at some other lines to see what happens when the claws get sharpened) and I get the impression that she actually enjoyed the debate.

[This message has been edited by Luxorlover (edited 26 August 2004).]
 

Have you moved over here yet? If not when are you coming
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Luxorlover:
Privacy is forfeit as soon as a posting is made on the internet. To expect otherwise is to run with the hares and chase with hounds. Which is what a lot of moderators do quite unprofessionally.

Everything that is posted on internet forums (photos, personal details, etc) is in the public domain.

GeGe posted her story - privacy ended. She knew what to expect (she only has to look at some other lines to see what happens when the claws get sharpened) and I get the impression that she actually enjoyed the debate.

[This message has been edited by Luxorlover (edited 26 August 2004).]

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I know an Egyptian girl who is 34 and she was courting an Egyptian man of 30. They discussed marriage but at the end of the day he refused because of her age. She is still with the age where she could still give him kids but he could not handle the fact that she was older.

I do not know any Egyptian marriage where the girl is older.

This is just my opinion but please advise me if I am wrong.
 

Also when you live here you see what the male part of these 'happy' unions do while their 'wives' are in Europe for 48 weeks of the year. A man here who marries a woman much older than himself who is in another country most of the time - married for money. Even if they are in this country most of the time - the men still married them for their money.

I know of several 'marriages' where the husbands goe to their family home every night even though they have been with their European wives for years. The European wives are the day job - and it pays lucratively.
 

The men have to be financially ready to marry which is usually around 30-35 years old and can provide a home for his future wife and family.

 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

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One line topic has a 142 responses, that really tells me how "old" might be most women in here...

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 29 August 2004).]
 

It might also say that women can carry a discussion for a long time without getting into foul language and insults and having it deleted. .
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Luxorlover:
Joshua - perhaps, as this is a line that relates more to women than men, it might also say that women make more posts than men do.

It might also say that women can carry a discussion for a long time without getting into foul language and insults and having it deleted. .

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If you can quote me insulting copy and paste it here/if you can't then there is only one thing you can do! I leave it to you to guess...
 

quote:

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Originally posted by JOSHUA:

One line topic has a 142 responses, that really tells me how "old" might be most women in here...

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 29 August 2004).]

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27

Some of the main contributors to this line were under 30. Others were over 50. I suspect that there was a 40 year age gap between the eldest and the youngest. With such a wide range of ages and opinions the line was well discussed.

quote:

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Originally posted by JOSHUA:

One line topic has a 142 responses, that really tells me how "old" might be most women in here...

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 29 August 2004).]

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Age is nothing but a number....you see in life there are some people who age well...they look good...but their brains just seem to stay the size of a peanut! ...instead of posting an interesting comment they're worried about how "old" the women are....Joshy boy how old are you?...Do you have permanent teeth yet...or still waiting for the milk teeth to fall out??

quote:

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Originally posted by Natashiah:
Age is nothing but a number....you see in life there are some people who age well...they look good...but their brains just seem to stay the size of a peanut! ...instead of posting an interesting comment they're worried about how "old" the women are....Joshy boy how old are you?...Do you have permanent teeth yet...or still waiting for the milk teeth to fall out??

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quote:

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Originally posted by JOSHUA:
Also some people might age 28 and look like 98 eat like 18 that makes one big old brain less feminin thing.

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....what?....Im confused ....what the hell is a "less feminin thing"....and how does one "eat like 18"....???...come on I know those zits on your forehead wont dissapear anytime soon because puberty obviously isnt finished with you

 

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 31 August 2004).]
 

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 31 August 2004).]
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ge Ge:
And by the way Joshua the point that the topic received over 150 replies must mean it is an important subject to debate, do you not think.Dont worry you will think of an interesting topic soon!!!!

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I in fact was nice about my comment nevertheless I could be rude now responding to your mocking post but I'm not, only fools do so within such a context.

I disagree with you "age does matter" one can not feel 40 while he/she is 22. Experiences matter/drives to do things matter. Inspirations about things matter.
The process of learning things matters.

You can have a young spirit but you will never look through the same eyes. You will never see the same green. Your expectations in things recall your history of the same experiences that is why they call it "experience".

You could love a person and pretend that all of the above do not exist until the moment comes and you see him eyeing another young girl in his age.

Only then you will understand that age matters.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by JOSHUA:
I in fact was nice about my comment nevertheless I could be rude now responding to your mocking post but I'm not, only fools do so within such a context.

I disagree with you "age does matter" one can not feel 40 while he/she is 22. Experiences matter/drives to do things matter. Inspirations about things matter.
The process of learning things matters.

You can have a young spirit but you will never look through the same eyes. You will never see the same green. Your expectations in things recall your history of the same experiences that is why they call it "experience".

You could love a person and pretend that all of the above do not exist until the moment comes and you see him eyeing another young girl in his age.

Only then you will understand that age matters.

---

You really got a lot to learn....Im 28 but for a while felt like 60 with a very hard life....then I sometime ago I felt 16 free spirited with no responsibilities....and now I'm finally 28 again...you see you go through stages in your life and you gain experience...and I agree with you on that... ...BUUUUT its got nothing to do with age my dear....I can can hold down a conversation with a 50/60/200 year old and they will be able to communicate with me,why...because i had different experiences in my short life time.Most of my uncles and aunts are in their 50's but only one of them had the same experience I had...and she is the one I can communicate with because she's been there and done that.The others...well their glass cages haven't cracked or chipped...so to them the world is one big rose garden!

 

Egyptian families need children and it is natural for a man to want children. I think the only way an age gap could work between a younger man and older woman is if he could not have children.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenzie:
As I said before age does matter in Egypt. If a man is older then that is considered ok. But I think no young man is going to SERIOUSLY marry a woman that is older than his mother.

Egyptian families need children and it is natural for a man to want children. I think the only way an age gap could work between a younger man and older woman is if he could not have children.

---

Carol, hope you are not taking the P out of my post. SERIOUSLY.

I think all Egyptian men want kids. They are raised like that as are most nations.

quote:

---

Originally posted by JOSHUA:

I disagree with you "age does matter" one can not feel 40 while he/she is 22. Experiences matter/drives to do things matter. Inspirations about things matter.
The process of learning things matters.

You can have a young spirit but you will never look through the same eyes. You will never see the same green. Your expectations in things recall your history of the same experiences that is why they call it "experience".

.

---

Ok...maybe Im contradicting myself.....with the age part...but did you read what you wrote?You're talking about experience,inspirations etc.You do not need to be 50 to have experienced life in general!Yes you can feel like 60 at 20...why because it depends on you life experiences!How many youngsters are tied down with the responsibility of taking care of a family...acting as parents to brothers and sisters at a very young age!...How can a girl of 16 who's been responsible for a family,taking care of parents and siblings etc.....think like a 16 year old?She can't...she will be annoyed at a guy her age for acting like a teenager because she has a different mind set!Same goes for men...visa versa.Yes what you're saying makes sense but it depends on the persons involved.If you're focusing on Egypt...well that is another story....if you're focusing on a woman being much older than a man...also a different story...but you cannot generalise by saying "age" plays a role in all relationships...it depends on the circumstances.

"You can have a young spirit but you will never look through the same eyes."....Ok yes it makes sense....but what about someone who never had a chance of enjoying youth...always having to be the adult....if that person's burden is lifted some way or another....what would she/he do....???maybe try to enjoy what they missed out on?Want to know what it should have felt like when he/she was 16?...So you cannot generalise about age...you have to address a certain relationship or situation.

Im trying to make sense....do I...or am I more confusing now then I was before?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

---

Ge Ge i think you should have been more clear on the age issue....because it depends on where you're at...it differs a lot depending on you're situation.So be so kind to tell us if you meant "Does age matter in Egypt?"....because if that is the case...well it changes a lot of things...I mean a lot of things!

If he's a young man that eventually wants kids and you're an older woman that
doesn't want to raise any, then you two are incompatible, even if
you're the same age. There are those the exact same age that have
major incompatibilities.

I've seen 40 year old men like Michael Jackson act like a big kid, and look
half his age of course with the help of plastic surgery. And I've seen 18
year old drug addict prostitutes on talk shows that look to be no less than
45 years of age.

There are those that are extremely immature for their age, for instance middle-aged
women that party like a college floozy come on to public forums and behave
like elementary school brats that can't have their way. And others that behave like
peer-pressured catty high school cliques who can't think with independant minds.

According to Erik Erikson there are several stages of development that correlate
with one's age. Of course this is the case in THEORY, as we well know, it doesn't
always work that way in REALITY. As some are clearly still in the 'adolescent stage'
and showing major signs of identity crisis.

With new technology and money, you can defy gravitivity and remove wrinkles, age
spots, etc. But your maturity level depends on your mental developmental stage, and
some of us have yet to move beyond high school development although in years we're
getting older.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shareefa:
Ge Ge, sorry, but if age really doesn't matter to you why did you start this topic? Only people who feel insecure about a thing seek advice of others. You might deny your lack of self-confidence regarding this matter, but I guess deep inside you you seem to be very insecure about it. Even if you deny it ... truth is, you brought up the question! Think about it.

---

For whatever reason I have posted this topic it has had a great deal of interest so it is obviously very important to many people.

I would not deny for one moment that I have had my reservations about a 20 year age gap as I did with my ex husband and as I have had with any major decision in my life.

But truthfully, whatever anyone has said, will not influence my decision and it is very interesting the divide on this subject.

I printed some of the stories from this site and showed them to my friend in Egypt.

My friend said that western women who thought that they could buy young Egyptian men with phones and flats and money and paying for mothers operations deserved the treatment that they received.Because no decent Egyptian man would take anything from a woman.And he most certainly would not ask a woman to marry him unless he had the means to support her.So is this just an evil plan to marry me and extract my money.
But now I have a dilema.He has asked me for a gift, a hand whisk for his mother.

Is this just the start do you think, of bigger things to come?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenzie:
Good point Shareefa.

Carol, hope you are not taking the P out of my post. SERIOUSLY.

I think all Egyptian men want kids. They are raised like that as are most nations.

---

No I wasn't! Just had a really dumb moment and didn't read your reply properly SORRY!

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shareefa:
Ge Ge, what I meant was that if you were really sure in your heart you would not need any advice. See, my mother's second husband is 10 years younger than her (... although he looks 10 years older than her), but for her it never was a topic. She never thought twice and never asked anyone for advice, not even her daughters. She just married him because she thought he was the right one and they are still happily married - for 20 years now.
I myself am European but married to an Egyptian and living in the UAE for the last 10 years. I have never been to Egypt even if my husband is from there. He does not like Egypt. So now you are worried because your friend asked you for a gift? Maybe it is something that is much cheaper in England than in Egypt - you have to consider that. When I read the topics in this forum it seems as if Egyptian men only take and take and take. When I first met my Egyptian husband in Europe 10 years ago it was him to always send me business class tickets to fly to the UAE and meet him. Later, when we were married and had our first baby and his own company was not doing so well for some time it was no problem for me to go back to work to pay for our expenses. I never felt he was using me - we are too much soulmates.
Ok, it might be different in your case, but you should ask him why he asked for this gift nevertheless.

---

Shareefa it was a joke, the gift.

Do you want to know why I really posted the question.Because whatever anyone has said on this forum makes no difference to how I feel about this man,this is the man I will spend the rest of my life with,of that I have no doubt.
I was curious to know if ageism is just a british phobia or worldwide,because in Egypt no Egyptians take any notice of us, but maybe that is because he looks 10 years older than he is and I look 10 years younger.
But here in England I can just imagine the claws being sharpened.I really do not care what anyone thinks but I do like debate.
My friend always has a gift for me when I arrive and usually so thoughtful it makes me cry.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shareefa:
Ge Ge, sorry, but if age really doesn't matter to you why did you start this topic? Only people who feel insecure about a thing seek advice of others. You might deny your lack of self-confidence regarding this matter, but I guess deep inside you you seem to be very insecure about it. Even if you deny it ... truth is, you brought up the question! Think about it.

---

I couldn't agree more!

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 01 September 2004).]
 

After all Gege, I really wish you the best of luck. Even if the guy who you are with is not sincere it is in fact worth it to be with him. Being lonely is not the best thing any one would want to be/old or young. Spend a good time and be very careful with Egyptians youth "the ones in Egypt".

I don't know how to tell you this/ but if your friend is muslim then expect him anytime to ask you to convert to Islam. Once he does that, all you have to do is come here and post it in a topic then you will hear a lot from me.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Natashiah:
Ok...maybe Im contradicting myself.....with the age part...but did you read what you wrote?You're talking about experience,inspirations etc.You do not need to be 50 to have experienced life in general!Yes you can feel like 60 at 20...why because it depends on you life experiences!How many youngsters are tied down with the responsibility of taking care of a family...acting as parents to brothers and sisters at a very young age!...How can a girl of 16 who's been responsible for a family,taking care of parents and siblings etc.....think like a 16 year old?She can't...she will be annoyed at a guy her age for acting like a teenager because she has a different mind set!Same goes for men...visa versa.Yes what you're saying makes sense but it depends on the persons involved.If you're focusing on Egypt...well that is another story....if you're focusing on a woman being much older than a man...also a different story...but you cannot generalise by saying "age" plays a role in all relationships...it depends on the circumstances.

"You can have a young spirit but you will never look through the same eyes."....Ok yes it makes sense....but what about someone who never had a chance of enjoying youth...always having to be the adult....if that person's burden is lifted some way or another....what would she/he do....???maybe try to enjoy what they missed out on?Want to know what it should have felt like when he/she was 16?...So you cannot generalise about age...you have to address a certain relationship or situation.

Im trying to make sense....do I...or am I more confusing now then I was before?

---

[This message has been edited by JOSHUA (edited 01 September 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

---

Your story sounds so much like myself....married for 25 years and so pleased to be out of it. And yes im like u i love a man 20 years younger than myself. I thought at first i was going through change of life. But no that was not the case, and i also thought that i was a sick peverted women. This man i love from Eygpt shows me nothing but respect and trust. I have known him for 3 years and in that 3 years he has taught me more about life than anyone here in my western world will ever teach me....I never knew real emotions, I never knew real love, oh so many things and it took a man from another country to make me aware of who i really was. He has never asked anything from me as they state here in the forum, if anything i am the one who sends him and his family gifts as i feel to do so ...he comes from a lovely family and i have spoken to them all and his friends also . Ge Ge i know excatly where ur coming from.....I have this belief that what is meant to be will be...as each of our lives have been given a path and i feel mine right now is with this man younger than myself. But i feel at times he is not young ,he is more mature than my ex husband will ever be. So u go with ur heart as im going with mine.At our age we see many things as we have been taught many lessons and i am like u i feel this great love i have been given is for a reason and im not letting go of it because the advice given in this forum. But their advice is good and meaningful, but they dont know what we are experiencing.....Power to the age difference!!!LOL...and age is just a number, but the body and mind is the real telling of age.....and i feel soooooo younggggggg.....take care GE GE.....

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rosegarden:
So u go with ur heart as im going with mine.At our age we see many things as we have been taught many lessons and i am like u i feel this great love i have been given is for a reason and im not letting go of it because the advice given in this forum. But their advice is good and meaningful, but they dont know what we are experiencing.....Power to the age difference!!!LOL

---

So well said and so true. You'll notice that it's the very young ones that have responded negatively. They have so much to learn. lol

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenzie:
Just listen out for the word 'Jeddah'

---

The only word I have shouted at me is jameel.
Thankyou Rosegarden,funny how it takes someone else to describe how you feel. I wish you all the luck in the world.Your words brought tears to my eyes.

Of course I will buy his mother a hand whisk as his mother cannot aquire one in egypt.But then she makes the most beautiful Egyptian bread which she sends back for my daughter.
I would do anything for her she is wonderful just like her son!
 

Like Newcomer said if it works for you ok. I know many that have been happy with younger men but then later the men wanted kids and married younger women. Some women have stuck it out and others couldn't. Just make sure you are prepared.

GeGe Do you live in Egypt?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by PRchick:
You'll notice that it's the very young ones that have responded negatively. They have so much to learn. lol

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenzie:
Should be 'Jameela' for a woman.

---

LOL I noticed that Kenzie! HOw you can profess to know so much and not even know the most basic Arabic words is beyond me. Oh GeGe being heckled at in the street is not a positive thing

 

You may wish to think that me and some of the other younger members know nothing but we do. As I have said before this is our area of knowledge. Your area clearly lies in other areas that we may know nothing about. You are choosing to follow your heart GeGe because nobodys head would say to continue this relationship. That is a very romantic notion. I do wish you all the best and hope that it works out for you.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Shareefa it was a joke, the gift.

Do you want to know why I really posted the question.Because whatever anyone has said on this forum makes no difference to how I feel about this man,this is the man I will spend the rest of my life with,of that I have no doubt.
I was curious to know if ageism is just a british phobia or worldwide,because in Egypt no Egyptians take any notice of us, but maybe that is because he looks 10 years older than he is and I look 10 years younger.
But here in England I can just imagine the claws being sharpened.I really do not care what anyone thinks but I do like debate.
My friend always has a gift for me when I arrive and usually so thoughtful it makes me cry.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mimmi:
Dear Rosegarden and GeGe,
Rosgarden's words could have been mine.
I have been so happy now for 3 years with my younger Egyptian husband I would never want to change anything in those 3 years.
Isn't it better to be happy and loved even for a few years rather than not be happy and not to know how much you can love someone. Evene most of the marriges in the west with no age gaps end up in divorces .
I still hope to have many happy years with my husband and if something should happen and we would separate or he would find someone younger , I would still have the most beautiful memories of the best years of my life and I will never get bitter. I have got so much love from him and his family.

---

deleted

[This message has been edited by Penny (edited 02 September 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenzie:
Should be 'Jameela' for a woman.

---

I thought this would be a good forum for information on Egypt and advice.But after just reading posts for about a month I find you all so 'nit picking'.You dont share your experiences you pick on people who have dared to share theirs and then insult them with your wonderful knowledge of a country half of you do not even live in.I wish ge ge and mimmi and rosegarden all the luck in the world they have something that up to now has evaded me.But I certainly would not criticise her for leaving an a off jameel,maybe they were talking to her friend.Put your claws away Carol you are very insulting to Ge Ge.
 

eg: An older woman and her younger egyptian husband checking into a small 2* hotel. The owner asks the husband in arabic 'where did you find her.' Husbands reply to hotel owner was 'I found her in the disco - there is plenty to choose from - I will take you and show you if you want one.' This conversation was in front of the woman but in arabic so she couldn't understand. The husband clearly has no respect for his 'WIFE'. Both were talking and making a joke of it.

It was me that commented about the 'A' from Jameel not Carol. I think maybe you are right they were shouting at her male friend.

However, Carol's comment about being heckled in the street was right.

I have said before that I wish Gege the best of luck and hope it does work out. She started this topic and should expect good and bad opinions.

Carol and I have pointed out of opinions. Whats wrong with that.
 

Kenzie there are other kind of relationships than this kind you write about.
I can tell you I am respected very much so and I was not found at any disco nor on the internet.
I am very happy ,respected and much loved by my younger husband and his family and I have not lost any money.

 

Kenzie there are other kind of relationships than this kind you write about.
I can tell you I am respected very much so and I was not found at any disco nor on the internet.
I am very happy ,respected and much loved by my younger husband and his family and I have not lost any money.

 

Where in Egypt do you live with your husband and his family?

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenzie:
Carol
I think once these people have lived here for a few years they will have their eyes opened.
Once they learn how to speak arabic they will understand more.

eg: An older woman and her younger egyptian husband checking into a small 2* hotel. The owner asks the husband in arabic 'where did you find her.' Husbands reply to hotel owner was 'I found her in the disco - there is plenty to choose from - I will take you and show you if you want one.' This conversation was in front of the woman but in arabic so she couldn't understand. The husband clearly has no respect for his 'WIFE'. Both were talking and making a joke of it.

---

Couldn't you have used this example with a YOUNGER woman, you know the type who is twice more likely to be "found at a disco, where there are plenty to choose from".

You all keep making the argument about him 'wanting kids' being the factor. Honestly if he's a man of low character, your age is NOT a factor, hving kids is NOT a factor.

Please read this story of a YOUNG duped woman who was thrown out on the streets by her Egyptian husband WITH HER CHILD!
http://www.kunstkamera.net/viewtopic.php?t=572

(scroll down to the English version)

There are others on this site as well, like the YOUNG German girl who had a daughter, and the guy called her up and told her he never wanted to see her again. Why, because this guy was not ready to be a man and raise kids.

So don't assume all young men 'want kids'.

Ge Ge, I say have fun. At least if he turns out to be another loser, you won't be stuck having to raise any abandoned kids, these younger women think they are exempt from.

quote:

---

Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:

Ge Ge, I say have fun. At least if he turns out to be another loser, you won't be stuck having to raise any abandoned kids, these younger women think they are exempt from.

---

Soooooooooooooooo true. Who was born an a-hole shall not turn into Mother Theresa in any type of future. Caution strongly recommended BEFORE having an offspring NO MATTER how hard our love desires to become a father, and how Egyptian and traditional (at least on a surface) he is. Young and beautiful women are not excluded, sadly.

Ps. Yeah, I admit it, I am a prune AND a hater.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Carol_2004:
GeGe nobody looks at you because they know what is going on and it doesn't interest them. They know that you will be his business. This is lhe last tome I'm going to point out the facts:
* He is of marrying age. ie. time to have babies.
* You are the same age as his mother AND from a different culture which DOES matter.
* I can only assume you have no plans to have children with this man.
* You can get hand whisks in Cairo! LOL
* You have a certain amount of assest - which I assume you have talked about as you are treating this relationship as one in the western world.
* You have a certain arrogance (which personally I think is great if used in the correct manner/situation). Unfortunatly this arrogance is blinding you to the facts and the inevitable.
* You know nothing about the Egyptian culture as you don't live in Egypt.

You may wish to think that me and some of the other younger members know nothing but we do. As I have said before this is our area of knowledge. Your area clearly lies in other areas that we may know nothing about. You are choosing to follow your heart GeGe because nobodys head would say to continue this relationship. That is a very romantic notion. I do wish you all the best and hope that it works out for you.

---

I would not call it "arrogance". I'd say GeGe has a belief that many boundaries can be overcome such as age and culture just because people love. I think she wants and she sincerely believes that blinded by emotions she got from this guy. But she does not realize fully and she denies to herself that culture does matter, unfrotunately (it is double std and I hate to say that) but realistically age does matter (men have it all but women - NO, as sadly as it is). After her less fortunate experience with her marriage, she finally thinks she has found what she lacked all her life, and she is blinded by that instead of looking at the matter more realistically. Both young and old do let it go once and stop thinking. GeGe, I doubt your story will have a good end.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Carol_2004:
Woah! Nobody said that young people were excempt! But I would say there is a slightly higher chance that the man's intentions are better than with a lady 20 years his senior! OK again you are right he loves her wants to spend the rest of his life with her blah blah blah there is no point in even giving a realistic angle

---

I agree. Especially, when we are talking about different cultures, where ode-singing is so common. It would be great is what you see is what you get in any nation at any age, do not you think, Carol?

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 02 September 2004).]
 

Old woman + young boy = what you see is she has money and thinks she has struck gold he see her as old gold. End of story.

Young girl + young boy = maybe they are in love maybe they are just sh#'ing. End of story.

Old man + young girl = he is chuffed he has a young lady to have sex with, she thinks she has struck gold. End of story.
 

I feel sorry for many of you on this forum,so cynical,so miserable,so biggoted,
so biased so opinionated.

So let me tell you.This all happened 15 years ago.I am still with the man,no second or third wife,no converting to Islam,no ripping me off and no children,And yes he lives in England.We love each other more each day he is my rock he is without doubt the most wonderfull man I know.
So there is your fairytale.Happy ever after.So please take a lesson from this and do not be so quick to judge.And yes we have just been back to Cairo and his mother would like a whisk.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Mmm I am getting rather fed up with this topic,but I have a few question for whoever.
1.What are my western values?
2.What is my western culture?
3.I left an a off jameela,are your lives all so sad really?
Question for Carol.
4.You are 22 young and attractive so you say,you asked if I could find you a husband, may I suggest the reason you cannot find one is because at the age of 22 you spend far to much time sat at your computer giving advice to unknowledgeable arrogant ignorant people like myself instead of going out and having fun.Although it probably makes you feel important.
5.You are also assuming I know nothing about Egyptian culture,do any of you know how long I have spent in Egypt.
6.Why have you all honed in on this topic 207 postings?
7.I notice Carol and Katrina are very quick to give advice to all but actually do not appear to have had much of a life.Why?

I feel sorry for many of you on this forum,so cynical,so miserable,so biggoted,
so biased so opinionated.

So let me tell you.This all happened 15 years ago.I am still with the man,no second or third wife,no converting to Islam,no ripping me off and no children,And yes he lives in England.We love each other more each day he is my rock he is without doubt the most wonderfull man I know.
So there is your fairytale.Happy ever after.So please take a lesson from this and do not be so quick to judge.And yes we have just been back to Cairo and his mother would like a whisk.

---

OK you asked about my life. Been living in Egypt now back in UK and not working so at home. I went out friday night, sunday night, monday night and tuesday night. Have a fantastic fiancee. I asked you very tongue in cheek about finding a husband GeGe!

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
How interesting that the replies are from women.Now that I am fifty I find I am more confident which possibly makes me more atractive,I do not worry,I do not nag am content with life and take whatever comes in my stride.I like younger people they are refreshing and motivating.I find the problem with so many men my age is they are very much pipe and slippers.When you have so much energy for new projects and travel and new cultures you have to have a partner that has the same goals.Although my ex husband was 20 years older than me he was very young in his outlook and good fun and I never noticed the age difference. Some people are born old and some people are forever young in their outlook.Personally I have a real zest for life and look forward to every day especially with my younger man.I have only heard one comment made about us which incidently was from an english man.On walking past our table in a restaurant I heard him say she must be at least 10 years older than him,how kind I thought, 20 actually!!!!!

---

Make up your mind GeGe there is no way that it has been going on for 15 years. You are fifty he is 20 years younger therefore you met him when you were 30 and he was 15. You are sick............

1.What are my western values?
Answer: Yes. It is not bad at all. It is just Egypt is East not West

2.What is my western culture?
Answer: Yes. Same as above

3.I left an a off jameela,are your lives all so sad really?
Answer: Not sure what you mean here

5.You are also assuming I know nothing about Egyptian culture,do any of you know how long I have spent in Egypt.

Answer: It is not an assumption, this is how you come across.

6.Why have you all honed in on this topic 207 postings?

Answer: Other threads are not really active.

7.I notice Carol and Katrina are very quick to give advice to all but actually do not appear to have had much of a life.Why?

Answer: We do have a life, just a habit to look at ES.
I feel sorry for many of you on this forum,so cynical,so miserable,so biggoted,
so biased so opinionated.
Answer: We are not. It is life that is cynical in general. I would never believe a young guy would want to have ever after love story with a woman 20 years his senior. Wait till he changes his ode-singing pattern.

15 years ago? You have had 27 years of marriage, you are say 47 (assuming getting married at 20), the guy is 20 years younger or 27, he had to be 12 when you met him and you were 25? Are you nuts?

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
I absolutely agree it is better not to love than to love an asshole.But then with my ex husband it took 27 years to find that out.If someone has an affair after all that time is he an asshole.I think you are trying to apply to much logic to love.It does not work like that.You meet someone,you are attracted to each other and from there it grows.You then have something called mutual trust.I to beleive it or not have many men interested in me,but I am very choosy.I do not enter into a relationship for the hell of it.But I suggest you let your guard down and fall in love and then you will know what I am talking about.The feeling of elation you will have is not like anything else.I do not think you should judge anyone Katrina especially when you have not experienced love.And I think you can put your point over without insulting someone who is just trying to live the best life they can.Chill out!!

---

You were with your ex-husband for 27 years and you have been with the new one for 15 perhaps you are older than 50 or perhaps this is a new relationship

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
I am sorry I do not understand all this talk about succeeding.It is not an exam. You take a relationship for what it is.If it works out OK if not to bad.Of course you would not give a man money or a business and my friend is far to proud for that.How many stories of bad experiences have been posted here maybe someone can tell me.But it is like the news if it is bad they read it.How often are happy stories read.And after all if you are involved with a younger man or woman you know the risks.But my ex husband was 20 years older than me and I would have been with him forever but he cheated.But because I was with him for 27 years was that a success?

---

HMMMMMMMMM
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Penny:
I'm confused????????

---

heehee
so am I
sounds a bit bizaar............the age thing just does not add up
15yrs
27yrs
20yrs
eish

 

I am not young, I am not bitter and I am certainly not desperate. My mother was considerably oler than my father so I am used to the situation. But I lived in England. Will someone please remind Gege and others that this is Egypt Search and age in Egypt DOES MATTER. However, they will keep on posting until they get the answer that they want. The want people to say that it does not matter - when in fact they already know that it does.

All those relationships that are shown as 'successful' between Europeans and Egyptians are either between people of childbearing age, similar ages, or those that have left Egypt to live elsewhere. If you are going to reside in Egypt (which is what this forum is about) then it is a factor. If you live in England, USA, CAnada, Germany, Finland or wherever, then maybe it is not.

Jedda it is, Jedda it always will be here. BUT, there is nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy. Just don't post his name somewhere if it all goes wrong or scream that he is an a**hole if he takes a young Egyptian wife. You know the score. Please do not pretend that you do not. As someone said, if you were confident in the matter then the post would not have been made. Kenzie, Carol and some others may be young but they have their heads screwed on and can see this as impartial oberservers. They are not desperate for partners because they already have them and they have lives ahead of them - not behind them.

In Luxor many of the women on the disco dance floors prop their zimmer frames against the wall (joking - but only just) their toy boy husbands joke with their friends IN ARABIC about having to get drunk to sleep with them. If you knew what they said about the older wives you would weep.

I do not think that it is arrogance to be so sure that the young Adonis loves you. It is a desperate clutching at the straws of youth. A desperate attempt to make an empty life worth living.

In England, when a woman get older she either turns to gardening or to God when all else has failed her. In Egypt she get a toy boy. End of story.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
Curiouser and curiouser said Alice. I have been reading through this and a note of desperation crept in a while ago when I blinked.

I am not young, I am not bitter and I am certainly not desperate. My mother was considerably oler than my father so I am used to the situation. But I lived in England. Will someone please remind Gege and others that this is Egypt Search and age in Egypt DOES MATTER. However, they will keep on posting until they get the answer that they want. The want people to say that it does not matter - when in fact they already know that it does.

All those relationships that are shown as 'successful' between Europeans and Egyptians are either between people of childbearing age, similar ages, or those that have left Egypt to live elsewhere. If you are going to reside in Egypt (which is what this forum is about) then it is a factor. If you live in England, USA, CAnada, Germany, Finland or wherever, then maybe it is not.

Jedda it is, Jedda it always will be here. BUT, there is nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy. Just don't post his name somewhere if it all goes wrong or scream that he is an a**hole if he takes a young Egyptian wife. You know the score. Please do not pretend that you do not. As someone said, if you were confident in the matter then the post would not have been made. Kenzie, Carol and some others may be young but they have their heads screwed on and can see this as impartial oberservers. They are not desperate for partners because they already have them and they have lives ahead of them - not behind them.

In Luxor many of the women on the disco dance floors prop their zimmer frames against the wall (joking - but only just) their toy boy husbands joke with their friends IN ARABIC about having to get drunk to sleep with them. If you knew what they said about the older wives you would weep.

I do not think that it is arrogance to be so sure that the young Adonis loves you. It is a desperate clutching at the straws of youth. A desperate attempt to make an empty life worth living.

In England, when a woman get older she either turns to gardening or to God when all else has failed her. In Egypt she get a toy boy. End of story.

---

An older woman/younger man thing even in the West that much. Because the world is double stand. even there!

[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 02 September 2004).]
 

Karah Mia
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
The only word I have shouted at me is jameel.
Thankyou Rosegarden,funny how it takes someone else to describe how you feel. I wish you all the luck in the world.Your words brought tears to my eyes.

Of course I will buy his mother a hand whisk as his mother cannot aquire one in egypt.But then she makes the most beautiful Egyptian bread which she sends back for my daughter.
I would do anything for her she is wonderful just like her son!

---

Your more than welcome GeGe........I have wondered and questioned many times why the young egyptian men do not seek younger egyptian girls and some answers i have received are very sad. One in particular was that they are very selfish when it comes to material things. Material objects that an egyptian man cant afford but yet is expected of him. And as you and I know at our age that material things start to gather together like moss.....I feel as long as there is food on the table and a roof over ones head and the comforts of a happy home,who cares for the gold statue sitting in the corner collecting dust. And so what if u got ur dates mixed up!! Blame it on ur age...LOL...after all we r entitled to a few miscalculations...but missing the 'a' in jameel...shame on you!!!...lool...take care GeGe.

quote:

---

Originally posted by rosegarden:
Your more than welcome GeGe........I have wondered and questioned many times why the young egyptian men do not seek younger egyptian girls and some answers i have received are very sad. One in particular was that they are very selfish when it comes to material things. Material objects that an egyptian man cant afford but yet is expected of him. And as you and I know at our age that material things start to gather together like moss.....I feel as long as there is food on the table and a roof over ones head and the comforts of a happy home,who cares for the gold statue sitting in the corner collecting dust. And so what if u got ur dates mixed up!! Blame it on ur age...LOL...after all we r entitled to a few miscalculations...but missing the 'a' in jameel...shame on you!!!...lool...take care GeGe.

---

LOL!!! Oh please.........

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
Rosegarden- do you live in Luxor? Just curious.

---

No i dont Luxorlover....I have never visted that area. Alexandria, Aswan. cairo. matrooh.mansoura. Port Said . Yes i have visited these areas. But im not from the Middle East. Im from the western world. But i know much about the middle East to a degree.I wont say fully as that would be just being persumptious of me. .....i hope that helps ur curiousity.......

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
just as many women who delude themselves over age are one sandwich short of a picnic.

---

I am rolling LouLou; so well put plus the abstract humor aspect!

Oh, have I mentioned the things that really matter?
a) Size
b) Age
c) Love
d) Size

Yep, in that exact order.

Ps. IMHO IMHO IMHO

quote:

---

Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:

Karah Mia

---

Oui oui oui oui.

 

Age and gender are two factors which greatly influence our lives from the time we're born, to the time we die..

Being born male or female can open up opportunities, aswell as close them. The same goes for age.

I couldn't become the President of America until I'm atleast 35yrs old..

So you see, age certainly matters to Society..

As far as relationships go, it's the same thing. The differences in the mindset between a 40yr old woman and a 20yr old man is staggering. A woman at that age usually wants stability, and a strong relationship where her physical and emotional needs will be met.

The 20yr old male's mindset however will center around lots of sex, partying and in general, behaviour that is typical of a young adult..

Does that make them incompatible? In most cases yes..

As for myself, I'm 25yrs old and I adore older women, but not vastly older. The oldest I will have is 10yrs my senior. Any older than that, and I feel that her stage of life will conflict with mine..

Thats just general though, and not specific. I've met some older women who wanted nothing but a hot passionate fling with a younger man, and who acted like 20yr old college chicks..

There are always exceptions, but for the most part, MOST people act their age.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Carol_2004:
By size you mean height/weight of course LOL

---

a) But of course
b) Certainement
c) Always and forever
d) I swear
e) Diameter/Rigidity
f) Oooops

quote:

---

Originally posted by Carfax:
Does age matter? Ofcourse it does..

Age and gender are two factors which greatly influence our lives from the time we're born, to the time we die..

Being born male or female can open up opportunities, aswell as close them. The same goes for age.

I couldn't become the President of America until I'm atleast 35yrs old..

So you see, age certainly matters to Society..

As far as relationships go, it's the same thing. The differences in the mindset between a 40yr old woman and a 20yr old man is staggering. A woman at that age usually wants stability, and a strong relationship where her physical and emotional needs will be met.

The 20yr old male's mindset however will center around lots of sex, partying and in general, behaviour that is typical of a young adult..

Does that make them incompatible? In most cases yes..

As for myself, I'm 25yrs old and I adore older women, but not vastly older. The oldest I will have is 10yrs my senior. Any older than that, and I feel that her stage of life will conflict with mine..

Thats just general though, and not specific. I've met some older women who wanted nothing but a hot passionate fling with a younger man, and who acted like 20yr old college chicks..

There are always exceptions, but for the most part, MOST people act their age.

---

Just a short answer here...........Muhammad was much younger than his first wife and they lived very happily..........

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rosegarden:
Just a short answer here...........Muhammad was much younger than his first wife and they lived very happily..........

---

yea and he was 45 years older than his second wife and they were very happy too...she was 9...very happy child...
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rosegarden:
Just a short answer here...........Muhammad was much younger than his first wife and they lived very happily..........

---

You're correct Rosegarden, She was also the 'breadwinner' very wealthy, 15 years older, previously married, children from first marriage, and HE was actually one of her employees. My have times changed in the M.E. when you're shunned for being older, wealthier, and financially independant if you're the woman. And to think some of the people that do all of this 'criticizing' have the nerve to call themselves 'muslims'.

And yes, from everything I've read, the prophet and his first wife lived happily ever after.

quote:

---

Originally posted by JOSHUA:
yea and he was 45 years older than his second wife and they were very happy too...she was 9...very happy child...

---

Well I guess in those 'old days' age really didnt matter did it? And we're supposed to be the 'advanced' society, right? Where it has been 'scientifically' proven that age differences are formulas for disasters. Ha!

Has anyone seen Ivana Trumps handsome young hunk in the new People's magazine? A cutey.
 

He is sixty she is thirty they have been married 10 years.He is English she is Romanian,they are the happiest most perfectly matched couple I know.Ah but then she probably wants a block of flats built.No it cannot be that because she is the director of marketing for Scannia,shes not stupid speaks 7 languages.Maybe she loves him yep that must be it.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by JOSHUA:
yea and he was 45 years older than his second wife and they were very happy too...she was 9...very happy child...

---

Nice posting
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Well I guess in those 'old days' age really didnt matter did it? And we're supposed to be the 'advanced' society, right? Where it has been 'scientifically' proven that age differences are formulas for disasters. Ha!

Has anyone seen Ivana Trumps handsome young hunk in the new People's magazine? A cutey.

---

I have this sixth sense that told me that someone would bring up the difference in Muhammads time and todays society, what is expected of us in the civilised world........but my sixth sense never told me that age has a time nor place...maybe i should venture back to the year 600 and find my true love there!!!....Or maybe my true love is here in the time of 2004....i really didnt think the love of a man or women had anything to do with the era factor.......and scientifically???? has been proven??? what now scientist can see the love of a man and women through their microscopes and not their own true feelings??? Interesting???.....next time i fall in love with a person not matter his age , i insist to call on a rocket scientist to examine my love!!!!Give me a break!!!

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rosegarden:
I have this sixth sense that told me that someone would bring up the difference in Muhammads time and todays society, what is expected of us in the civilised world........but my sixth sense never told me that age has a time nor place...maybe i should venture back to the year 600 and find my true love there!!!....Or maybe my true love is here in the time of 2004....i really didnt think the love of a man or women had anything to do with the era factor.......and scientifically???? has been proven??? what now scientist can see the love of a man and women through their microscopes and not their own true feelings??? Interesting???.....next time i fall in love with a person not matter his age , i insist to call on a rocket scientist to examine my love!!!!Give me a break!!!

---

Maybe you do need a break, if you're so caught up in your defense that you're unable to recognize my cynical response to Joshua. If you had sense enough to reply to the response I made to your own posting, you would see that I actually agreed with you.

But whats the use, another selective reader/poster

Don't we all just love arguing for the sake of argument.

Enjoy
 

Does anyone here know how old Mohammed's wife was when he married her? Could she still have given him children? ACtually, it was a bad example because as the same time it is hard to understand Mohammed's implied paedophilia.

Is everone here really trying to say that the men of Luxor listed in the police files who have married older women and relieved them of their savings (hundred of them) are as noble as the prophet? If you are then you want your heads examined.

We are not talking educated European men with money marrying young women who can give them children, we are talking about elderly European women who sell their homes to give the money to the young men that swear their undying love for them. IN EGYPT age does matter. I don't care what the situation is in other places.

I said earlier that my mother was years older than my father. It is thought unusual but it did not matter as they were in England. This is not England - will people who do not live here and know little of the situation and culture other than what they see through their rose coloured glasses please understand that. Or at least try.

[This message has been edited by Luxorlover (edited 09 September 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by AnotherNewMember:
Maybe you do need a break, if you're so caught up in your defense that you're unable to recognize my cynical response to Joshua. If you had sense enough to reply to the response I made to your own posting, you would see that I actually agreed with you.

But whats the use, another selective reader/poster

Don't we all just love arguing for the sake of argument.

Enjoy

---

Very sadly they had been trying but she cannot have children, but he has three from a previous marriage so he says out of his hands.I feel sad for her.

Do you know my only wish.

I wish that I was 25 years younger and I had just met my friend and I had the rest of my life to spend with him.

I really do love him very much he is a wonderful caring man and whatever anyone on this forum may think he does not want my money.

But after reading many of the posts here I feel he may be sacrificing a life with a young woman and children to end up with a woman who is in the autumn of her life.And I feel very sad today because I do not know what to do.

I want him to be happy and have a good life like I have had, he deserves that he is a very special person.So maybe age matters a great deal.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
[B
Do I really do love him very much he is a wonderful caring man and whatever anyone on this forum may think he does not want my money.

But after reading many of the posts here I feel he may be sacrificing a life with a young woman and children to end up with a woman who is in the autumn of her life.And I feel very sad today because I do not know what to do.

I want him to be happy and have a good life like I have had, he deserves that he is a very special person.So maybe age matters a great deal.[/B]

---

GeGe Cheer up and just listen to your heart.

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
[B
Do I really do love him very much he is a wonderful caring man and whatever anyone on this forum may think he does not want my money.

But after reading many of the posts here I feel he may be sacrificing a life with a young woman and children to end up with a woman who is in the autumn of her life.And I feel very sad today because I do not know what to do.

I want him to be happy and have a good life like I have had, he deserves that he is a very special person.So maybe age matters a great deal.[/B]

---

GeGe Cheer up and just listen to your heart.

 

Just live day by day for a bit, and do what is right for you and let your partner decided what is right for him.

I hope you are close to god and have faith he will show you both the right way.

All the best
Penny
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Penny:
GeGe you sound so sad, give it time, don't rush to make any decision, I think stong capable women often make the mistake that they have to always make decisions NOW.

Just live day by day for a bit, and do what is right for you and let your partner decided what is right for him.

I hope you are close to god and have faith he will show you both the right way.

All the best
Penny

---

Thankyou Penny you are always so right.

My friend says that it was Allah that brought us together. When I mention age to him and that he may have to push me around in a wheelchair ,he answers that maybe he will be run over tomorrow and I will be pushing him in one.He says westerners are obsessed with age.

He has discussed my age with his parents and the fact that we would not have any children they have told him that it does not matter about children and if he truly loves me he will be hapy without them.Both his uncles have no children one through choice the other because they could not have them.And both have been married for over 40 years.

I will take your advice Penny and not make a decision now.I do know when I am with this man nothing else matters,not age not culture not anything.But like Carol says I do not want him to resent me in years to come I could not bear that.
My daughter says you only have one life mum,live it to the full and if you love him spend the rest of your life with him.

I never went to Egypt expecting to find my soulmate but I did.And I do not think any man will ever compare to him.I have never known such a caring, sensitive,generous man.
Is your husband like this Penny? I am going to post a new topic which hopefully will not be as upsetting as this one,although this has really made me think.
 

In answer to your question...yes he is all the things you say and more...but at the same time he is not perfect thank god!

[This message has been edited by Penny (edited 09 September 2004).]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
[QUOTE]
But after reading many of the posts here I feel he may be sacrificing a life with a young woman and children to end up with a woman who is in the autumn of her life.And I feel very sad today because I do not know what to do.

---

GeGe, he's a grown man. An educated man. He can make his own decisions. Stop trying to second guess him. You can't live your life on "what ifs." There are no guarantees in any relationship. You roll the dice, you take your chances. You know that. If you don't take chances, you'll be alone for a very long time. Some people here talk like your man can't think for himself. I'm guessing that's not the case. Now, straighten up, put on your lipstick, and enjoy your happiness.

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
GeGE - read the other line that you started. That will cheer you up. Everyone there said they would do it again regardless of the outcome.

---

Yes your right LL.

Do you still love your man would you ever have him back.What is it about Egyptian men.
When I came back to England in February after spending a month with my friend,my sister and I went to the cinema.I don't know if it was because I had spent a month in a muslim country or this was a bad night in the city we had gone to,but everyone seemed to be drunk.We decided to have a drink before going to the cinema on entering what we thought was a decent pub we were greeted with "ello darlin what you f****** drinkin". Needless to say we did not stay and walked to the cinema where we encountered various groups of youths drinking and shouting abuse.A far cry from the behaviour you see in Egypt.Egyptian men just appear to be more dignified and most certainly in their behaviour towards women.What are your thoughts on this LL be interested to know.
 

I can't put my finger on what it is about Egyptian men that makes women's heart melt. But melt, they do - repeatedly. I think that the main reason that English women fall for them, or women who have been brought up in countries where there has been an English influence fall for them , is that when they get older they are treated like old meat rather than old wine. Continentals seems to have more of a gift for making older women feel good about themselves. Englishmen have the knack of making them feel as though they have one foot in the grave long before their time. It;s not deliberate. It's just something about English men that could be improved.

As for the insults in pubs etc. I am something of an intrepid explorer but places like that now frighten the life out of me. Walking home late at night from the cinema in England is a nightmare. In general Egyptian men are far more respectful. Unless that is you are walking alone (or with another woman) along the Corniche in Luxor then it is another matter. REcently there have been a number of cases of indecent exposure here too but that is the same the whole world over.

For the older woman, the fling with the Egyptian lover is a last grasp at youth - and it feels divine. Enjoy it while lasts. I regret nothing.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Yes your right LL.

Egyptian men just appear to be more dignified and most certainly in their behaviour towards women.What are your thoughts on this LL be interested to know.

---

Ge Ge, it is not only Egyptian men, it is Arab men - Islam teaches dignity. Whenever I return to Europe for seeing friends and family I am shocked about people's rude behavior. There is so much violence and no respect for others. I am glad my kids grow up in the UAE - it is so peaceful there, so quiet. I don't know how it is in Egypt, I have never been there as my Egyptian husband doesn't like his native country.

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shareefa:
Ge Ge, it is not only Egyptian men, it is Arab men - Islam teaches dignity. Whenever I return to Europe for seeing friends and family I am shocked about people's rude behavior. There is so much violence and no respect for others. I am glad my kids grow up in the UAE - it is so peaceful there, so quiet. I don't know how it is in Egypt, I have never been there as my Egyptian husband doesn't like his native country.

---

It appears to me in Egypt that most men are very respectfull towards women and do not heckle or whistle at them in the street as is so often the case in the UK.

I never feel safe walking at night in England.But my friend tells me crime against women and children in Egypt is very rare.

I find the men so refreshing opening doors, walking on the outside on a pavement,pulling your chair out when dinning so many things that are now lost in the UK. But I think women have wanted equality for so long here that now they have it and men have forgotton how to treat women respectfully.
 

I must admit that few people (other than waiters) have ever pulled a chair out for me in Egypt - as most times I am sitting on the floor - but the sentiment is there. In England you pay your way and although you might not be expected to pull a chair out for your man, nobody would offer you a seat on the bus. In Egypt if a woman gets on a service-car everyone on the bus helps her with the parcels and then shuffles up to make sure she can sit down.

In banks, post offices and shops etc, a woman is served first and not expected to queue up alongside men who might talk to her or upset her.

As far as being shut in the house is concerned it was once put to me this way. "If you had a big diamond would you put it on display so that someone might steal it. No, you would protect it as the most precious thing you had. To Egyptians, their wives are like diamonds".

European men never make women feel like that. Maybe Egptians know something that Euopeans don't
 

If the topic is about anyones personal life it receives an enormous amount of replies.This one over 200 and Janes catching up fast.
Why, can anyone explain this?

Maybe Jane and I have more interesting coloured lives than most.

But charming topics posted have received very few replies.

Someone please explain?

Also has anyone any really good Egyptian recipes I can try?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
This is so interesting this forum.

If the topic is about anyones personal life it receives an enormous amount of replies.This one over 200 and Janes catching up fast.
Why, can anyone explain this?

Maybe Jane and I have more interesting coloured lives than most.

But charming topics posted have received very few replies.

Someone please explain?

Also has anyone any really good Egyptian recipes I can try?

---

------------------
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayisha:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ge Ge:
[b]This is so interesting this forum.

lso has anyone any really good Egyptian recipes I can try?

---

Thankyou so much for the address Ayisha some really great recipes can't wait to try them.

[/B][/QUOTE]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

---

For old British lady like you age does not matter, for young Egyptian men it does, even if we tell you the opposite. As an Egyptian man I am sure that your bf will run away from you if he decides to have children. All Egyptian men want many children.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

---

For old British lady like you age does not matter, for young Egyptian men it does, even if we tell you the opposite. As an Egyptian man I am sure that your bf will run away from you if he decides to have children. All Egyptian men want many children.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ge Ge:
Well, does age really matter in a relationship?

---

For old British lady like you age does not matter, for young Egyptian men it does, even if we tell you the opposite. As an Egyptian man I am sure that your bf will run away from you if he decides to have children. All Egyptian men want many children.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Abdul:
For old British lady like you age does not matter, for young Egyptian men it does, even if we tell you the opposite. As an Egyptian man I am sure that your bf will run away from you if he decides to have children. All Egyptian men want many children.

---

Yes and of course you know every Egyptian man in Egypt.If my friend runs he runs,that is entirely up to him........but I will run after him very fast.In fact I was very good at sprinting when I was 20, mm but that was a 100 years ago.

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
Abdul - that is what we have been trying to say.

---

I read that you are with a Dr from Cairo where I think that they have a wider view on relationships with different age gaps.

In Upper Egypt - age does matter when the woman is older.

Can someone please advise me if they know of a REAL marriage in Upper Egypt where the Egyptian Woman is older than the Egyptian Man.
 

Kenzie - None of my Egyptian women friends are married to men younger than them.

Happy days.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
GeGE - I know someone who is not far short of being a septuagenarian and who is about to trade in her 35 year old husband for another one as he is getting 'past his best'. Business is business and it can work both ways.

Kenzie - None of my Egyptian women friends are married to men younger than them.

Happy days.

---

I was only joking LL but is this really true.I would not trade my man for all the tea in china,he is to precious.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:
I know you were joking and so I posted the item to make you smile even more - but it is more or less true. She complains that he does not have the stamina he once had.

---

I can't help but have a certain admiration for these women who don't delude themselves it is a two way business and just go for it. Older men have been doing it since time began.

Sadly though the price gets paid by more innocent women that fall into the trap not knowing the rules of the game.

Just told my husband he is well past his sell by date...reply...he knew that years ago! Oh well think I will keep him anyway!

Penny

quote:

---

Originally posted by Luxorlover:

Does anyone here know how old Mohammed's wife was when he married her? Could she still have given him children? ACtually, it was a bad example because as the same time it is hard to understand Mohammed's implied paedophilia.
][/B]

---

Mhuammad's first wife was 40 when he married her. He was 25. They had two sons and four daughters. It is said she had her last child at age 48. Remember, Cherie Blair had her last one at age 46!

He loved his wife very much and never had another wife as long as he was married to her. Long after her death his favorite wife, Aysha said that he was always talking of Khadeeja, his first wife and that he had never stopped loving her although she had been dead for years.

I do not thinks he was paedophilic. He married Aysha when she was only 10, but she said she did not live with him as husband and wife do unless she was 12. And at that time it was the normal age for a girl to get married. In many third world countries it still is. Aysha said that Muhammad (PBUH) did not have sexual relationships with most of his wives as he married many of them just for the reason that they were widows with children and needed a husband to be taken care of. As far as I read, the prophet had just one more child with another wife after Khadeeja's death.

 

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Originally posted by Luxorlover:

Does anyone here know how old Mohammed's wife was when he married her? Could she still have given him children? ACtually, it was a bad example because as the same time it is hard to understand Mohammed's implied paedophilia.
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Mhuammad's first wife was 40 when he married her. He was 25. They had two sons and four daughters. It is said she had her last child at age 48. Remember, Cherie Blair had her last one at age 46!

He loved his wife very much and never had another wife as long as he was married to her. Long after her death his favorite wife, Aysha said that he was always talking of Khadeeja, his first wife and that he had never stopped loving her although she had been dead for years.

I do not thinks he was paedophilic. He married Aysha when she was only 10, but she said she did not live with him as husband and wife do unless she was 12. And at that time it was the normal age for a girl to get married. In many third world countries it still is. Aysha said that Muhammad (PBUH) did not have sexual relationships with most of his wives as he married many of them just for the reason that they were widows with children and needed a husband to be taken care of. As far as I read, the prophet had just one more child with another wife after Khadeeja's death.

 

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Originally posted by Shareefa:
Mhuammad's first wife was 40 when he married her. He was 25. They had two sons and four daughters. It is said she had her last child at age 48. Remember, Cherie Blair had her last one at age 46!

He loved his wife very much and never had another wife as long as he was married to her. Long after her death his favorite wife, Aysha said that he was always talking of Khadeeja, his first wife and that he had never stopped loving her although she had been dead for years.

I do not thinks he was paedophilic. He married Aysha when she was only 10, but she said she did not live with him as husband and wife do unless she was 12. And at that time it was the normal age for a girl to get married. In many third world countries it still is. Aysha said that Muhammad (PBUH) did not have sexual relationships with most of his wives as he married many of them just for the reason that they were widows with children and needed a husband to be taken care of. As far as I read, the prophet had just one more child with another wife after Khadeeja's death.

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He was NOT a pedophile, its nothing to "think" of. A pedophile PREYS on young kids, they have an obsession with them, its a psychosocial disorder. NONE of this describes Him. All his wives were older, and most all of them were widows, she was an exception because of her suberb memory. He didn't marry for sex, he married out of duty and to keep the religion going. And she was one his best student. She was one of the first FEMALES in islam to teach and train a lot of scholars after His death. She recited over 2,000 Hadiths of her own. Many scholars believe without here half of the Ilm-I-Hadiths would have perished.

Abu Musa al-Ashari says: "Never had we (the companions) had any difficulty for the solution of which we approached Aisha and did not get some useful information from her".

I do get tired of people bringing up the pedophile argument when they know full well people married younger in those days. They felt you became a woman after your menstruation.

And not only was Khadija older than the Prophet, she had 2 previous marriages and even kids by her previous marriages. So people really need to stop using islam to try to validate their arguments about age factors. As the Prophets wives age ranged from younger to older, each with their own purpose.

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Originally posted by Shareefa:
A German friend of mine has a British boyfriend. She was introduced to his parents in London recently. His father is 64, his mother 83. They have been married for 42 years.

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How sweet. I have a friend who is 62 his wife is 83.She has two sons by a first marriage one is 55 the other 52. They also have been married for 42 years.I have to admit when I first met them he worked for my business which was 25 years ago I wondered how their marriage had worked with this large age gap.But after all that time they love each other more than ever.
 

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Originally posted by Luxorlover:
GeGE - I know someone who is not far short of being a septuagenarian and who is about to trade in her 35 year old husband for another one as he is getting 'past his best'. Business is business and it can work both ways.

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NEVER too late for a new model.