Did he get his diploma in Cairo or US? If in Cairo, he needs to 'translate' all his credits from there to the US education standard requirements and use his degree to its full potential.I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
quote:
Originally posted by carolina9:
Misplaced, I'm a 22 yo American young woman dating a 26 yo Egyptian man for 6 months. I am intrigued by your story. I love Esam (the man) and we talk about marriage- not for a couple years though! But i'm scared I'll be pressured to move to Egypt, far from my parents and siblings. Also, I'm scared of these stories about kidnapping and domineering Arab men and what not. Did you encounter any of this? are you happy with the move? whose idea was it- his or your's? did you move b/c he couldn't get a US visa?
any reply would be welcomed! thank you.
Just out of sheer curiosity: how are you 'dating' someone that far from you? Can you afford the trips every month or so, or does he have a visa and travels to see you? Hope it is not too nosy of a question: I am just always wondering how it could work.
quote:
Originally posted by carolina9:
oh no, we both live now in America. we met in NYC this past summer and now i'm finishing my last year of University and he's still in Manhattan. so the distance is far but it's not international travel! ha ha. by the way, he was a professional civil engineer over in Cairo and he's having trouble finding work here. Any suggestions?
Now it makes sense. Did he get his diploma in Cairo or US? If in Cairo, he needs to 'translate' all his credits from there to the US education standard requirements and use his degree to its full potential.
P.S. I am a teacher also. Which subject do you teach? Keep in touch.
We having housing awaiting anytime we desire to move to Egypt. I'm willing to give it a try for 2-5 years for my childrens sake and to possibly attend medical school with the help of his supportive family. We also believe we could have more quality family time together in egypt because of the economy.
Is it safe to say that we could live a very comfortable life with $30,000 US dollars budgeted for 9-15 months.
Ideally I would love to spend half the year in Egypt and half in the states, as an adjunct professor somewhere or General tenums physician.
Can anyone shed more reality on my fantasy.
I dream of diving in the red sea studying at the new library in Alexandria, medical school in Cairo and a beach front villa with 70 degree weather or better daily.
It sounds exciting! I was actually wondering what the school system is like in Egypt. I think I'll post an inquiry.
The fantasy plan is to sell are home here in the US plus all of our belongings hopefully that will give us the $30k (equity and stuff). My hubby has a job in Egypt already we send money and documents ever year for retiremnt or something to maintain his position??? It won't pay enough to support us all though.
[This message has been edited by lifeAgift (edited 17 April 2005).]
My husband is from Cairo and we married there last November during Eid. Since I have no family here, his family has become my family. We spent 3 weeks there and I had the most wonderful time. I love his friends and his family.
I could not ask for a nicer husband. He is sweet, cooks for me, is always in a great mood and he really never takes anything too seriously. That's good for me because I tend to be more serious about things. We married later in life, so we have no children. It was quite a relief to find a man who was not looking for a 2nd wife to add to his collection.
He is sort of a moderate in his beliefs and practices too. I can wear western wear as long as the clothing is moderate. I can wear ethnic dress and he always compliments me. I wear hijab by choice. He does not mind that I have a career as a Medical Director for two hospitals. He never complains if I work late.
Yet my husband's personality in some ways are still tied to his culture. He has to bargain for anything he purchases. His cooking is very ethnic and I love his koshory. He has ideas about his financial responsibilities to his family, and for the most part, I agree. What we do not agree on, we work out.
I certainly could have done worse! Also, he is very romantic... 
quote:
Originally posted by Shadya:
Hi everyone, I'm new in the forum. I like this topic!He does not mind that I have a career as a Medical Director for two hospitals. He never complains if I work late.
I certainly could have done worse! Also, he is very romantic...
I ditto your sentiments.
Are you in the states now? If so where?
Do you plan on relocating or returning to egypt soon?
Yes we plan to return to Cairo in Ramadan and Eid. After observing Ramadan and Eid in Cairo, I can not think of spending those days in the US. It is just not the same...
Inshallah we will spend three weeks there.
Hubby use to spend $5-6/day on fastfood lunches now he's enjoying 89cent favas beans with pita and tomatoes. I carry salads with boiled eggs.
we want to live bicontinentally without any debt.
quote:
Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex:
Car cost used smll sized econo. 20,000 LE
REnt 600-2000LE mnthlySome gen. prices for you....Good luck
hi misplaced
rent for 600 LE per month>??
#where?
any chance near roushdi/maimi/gleen/shatby/sprotying, etc
[oh and thank u for that insight of life in alex, it the best i have ever read....and also the general cost ]
[This message has been edited by kkkaaa (edited 24 April 2005).]
i am goinf in the month July 
this is the summer month write,,,
nevamind gave me some good link for hotel, in alex, 1 and 2*
so im guna get looking in them?
do u like on the east or west of rousshdi??
do u know of any cheap 1 to 3 star hotek from roshdi and surroind area to anywhre going east to. mousfa kemel.
[i know hotel new capri,,,but that is too west, from roushi]...
nway dont truble ur self to answer, just though u might no...
Wondering what happened to original gal who posted here, Jenna.
Did you get information you needed have not seen a post from you lately..??
quote:
Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex:
Wish I could help you but don't know info on hotels ....Wondering what happened to original gal who posted here, Jenna.
Did you get information you needed have not seen a post from you lately..??
She had a revolving door of usernames, hassencheb for one, she and LL (LuxorLover) duked it out for a while.
quote:
Originally posted by sonomod:
She had a revolving door of usernames, hassencheb for one, she and LL (LuxorLover) duked it out for a while.
Actually it's you, you psychotic child of an alcoholic sugar mama, with a disfunctional family of hill billy drunks!
Get A Life, you are the one with a thousand user names, and I know Alana is you! You fool!
I don't even believe you are married, who could marry a pyscho, you dont even know you are! I believe you are one of those desperate lonely, pimple faced girls who lives in a fantasy world online. I bet you have a slew of online husbands under the various user IDs you have, yeah stay online 24 hours and get your useless home course degree online, you idiot! Can't even get into a real college.
Loser!
It's a nice story...
You are a lucky girl!!!
How did you met your husband? In Egypt?
Bye
quote:
Originally posted by Shadya:
Hi everyone
We live in Houston Texas and we both love the city. My husband spent 6 weeks in Cairo and just returned on April 17th. Now get this....I took him to a dentist in Houston because he had a tooth ache. The Dentist gave us a bill for $36,000.00 of which we were expected to pay $9,600.00 out of pocket. So we did the math! Round trip ticket to Cairo - $660. Staying with his family - $0. And the dentist? Only $1000.00 for the same work. Bridges, root canals, cosmetics and cleaning.Yes we plan to return to Cairo in Ramadan and Eid. After observing Ramadan and Eid in Cairo, I can not think of spending those days in the US. It is just not the same...
Inshallah we will spend three weeks there.
quote:
Originally posted by hassancheb:
Sonomod you lonely low life broad with a multiple personality disorder!I don't even believe you are married, who could marry a pyscho, you dont even know you are! I believe you are one of those desperate lonely, pimple faced girls who lives in a fantasy world online. I bet you have a slew of online husbands under the various user IDs you have, yeah stay online 24 hours and get your useless home course degree online, you idiot! Can't even get into a real college.
Loser!
quote:
Originally posted by FunnyGirl:
HI Shadya!!!It's a nice story...
You are a lucky girl!!!How did you met your husband? In Egypt?
Bye
Believe it or not we met through email and i told him hi...I wanted to meet someone closer to my location (Dallas). Anyway, I moved to the city where he lived about a year and a half later. He sent email after that asking me how I was and we met for coffee.... Did I have any idea this was the man I would marry? Absolutely not, but then I believe everything happens for a reason.
quote:
Originally posted by Koks2005:
Hello all,
this is an interesting conversation,but I want to make some modification in the topic,I am an egyptian man,and I want to ask you now Egyptain men,what do you think about American women?
I want to tell my opinion about most of them or at least those whom i meet,they are very kind and loving and funny....and really really really I would love to marry an american woman one day,I am in love now with one of em,and she is all my life and she is everything for me,plz all you people all over the world ,pray for me,and thank you all
If you marry an American woman you must learn to adjust to our culture as well. At least 20% of the life with her must have an American custom to it.
Don't expect her to be Egyptian overnight, don't expect her to give up all her expectations of marriage and love and adapt your expections entirely.
Otherwise marry a revert, they will do anything you tell them to, change completely overnight and think only of your needs.
quote:
Originally posted by Koks2005:
Hi Sonomod,
thank you very much for replying,of course I agree with you but I have some notes.
I want to tell you that love and marriage is not only about satisfying needs.and 20%of living the american custom is unfair for her.I would never want her to give up her expectations,or dreams or anything...on the other hand i should be beside her and support her....of course we both will get to know eachother's culture,I think this is what love about.
I dont want someone to just satisfy my needs,I dont think about women this way.
The girl that I am in love with now,I am in love with her soul more than anything else,she is an Angel.
I really didnt understand what you meant by a revert?revert from what to what?I dont know....hope hear from you soon
Wow you don't consider 20% too much? Kinda strange.
Now are you in the USA already, or she in Egypt with you or is it a distance thing? And the age gap, is there one or are you the same relatively age?
Those factors make such a big difference.
Plus if you are in Egypt most people will give you space to enjoy being married, if you are the groom, the wife is picked apart.
Now if you are in USA, you will be picked apart from other Arabs. They will not leave you alone, you will constantly be critized.
Plus she will be torn apart and ostrasized everyday for marrying you. Is she a strong person? If she is middle class and white it will change every aspect of her life. Plus don't allow her to take your last name untill you have children or not at all. She will face discrimination at a whole new high when she does. If she is rich, she will get some hate but much less, because money talks. Plus alot of your Arab friends will assume that she is rich and will take care of you financially, so when they come to ask for money beware. Alot of single Arab men will leech off of another Arab friend because of his American wife. For a while these will be your only friends.
A revert is a Christain who has had their Shaddah, chosen Islam. Most of the time these new Muslimahs become basically spineless creatures. Believing that they are biologically, spiritual, and intellectual inferiors to men. Plus they hate the west and hate Christainity vehmentally. Just look to our 'Religion' and 'Politics' section of the forum. Hate isn't a virtue of Islam, but this is the only reason that brought these women to Islam.
Be careful, the way you feel about your American girlfriend and her faith will change within weeks of marriage. Then you will know who your friends are.
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 15 June 2005).]
For anyone to stand up in public and declare their acceptance of Islam is no spineless matter, particularly in these days when the media and politicians are creating and developing such negative images of Islam. And all those negative stereotyped biased prejudiced generalizations written above need to be seen in that light and treated accordingly!
quote:
Originally posted by newcomer:
A "revert" is a term sometimes used for a person who has reverted to the religion that they were born into. Muslims believe that everyone is born as a Muslim, i.e. as a being created by Allah who lives by the natural laws that He also created, but that human beings learn beliefs from their families and the environment that they are raised in. This may lead them to practice Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, etc. etc. But if at a later stage in life they learn about Islam and choose of their own free will to follow its teachings some people describe it as them having reverted to the religion that they were born into.For anyone to stand up in public and declare their acceptance of Islam is no spineless matter, particularly in these days when the media and politicians are creating and developing such negative images of Islam. And all those negative stereotyped biased prejudiced generalizations written above need to be seen in that light and treated accordingly!
spineless? deep thinking
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
[This message has been edited by 1mangang (edited 15 June 2005).]
quote:
Originally posted by newcomer:
A "revert" is a term sometimes used for a person who has reverted to the religion that they were born into. Muslims believe that everyone is born as a Muslim, i.e. as a being created by Allah who lives by the natural laws that He also created, but that human beings learn beliefs from their families and the environment that they are raised in. This may lead them to practice Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, etc. etc. But if at a later stage in life they learn about Islam and choose of their own free will to follow its teachings some people describe it as them having reverted to the religion that they were born into.For anyone to stand up in public and declare their acceptance of Islam is no spineless matter, particularly in these days when the media and politicians are creating and developing such negative images of Islam. And all those negative stereotyped biased prejudiced generalizations written above need to be seen in that light and treated accordingly!
Agree completely.
quote:
Originally posted by newcomer:
For anyone to stand up in public and declare their acceptance of Islam is no spineless matter, particularly in these days when the media and politicians are creating and developing such negative images of Islam. And all those negative stereotyped biased prejudiced generalizations written above need to be seen in that light and treated accordingly!
By spineless I meant that she has a tendancy to accept cultural practices of Muslims before actual Islamic juriprudence.
You didn't even bother to realize in my post that by marrying a muslim she will be critized up the yahzu by non-Muslims and Muslims alike.
I have known women for several years before they actually reverted. When they do many anti-woman attitudes that they possessed before their Shaddah is explosively apparent. They don't want women to work, or live on their own before marriage, go around with a bible trying to exercise people's demons in public places, whether the person wants them exercised or not. Its on the same line as African-American men who have spent time in and out of prison. Black-Militia attitude.
Its a matter of hating Christainity and white race more than accepting a monothestic religion that has improved so much of the world's population. That is the exact reason why so many individuals in the west fear reverts.
And to be entirely honest many of these women had a very hard time finding a husband before and after they reverted. Since it fullfills half a Muslims faith to be married, they assume their chances of finding a husband by reverting increases. Plus so many of these women come out of extremely religious families, and some have survived Christain cults.
Its a way of purging something from themselves without doing any meaningful insightful work to purge it.
My husband has seen this for himself and he is utterly ashamed of the black militants and the "Nation of Islam", let alone the reverts who donn the niqab, wear socks in their sandels, hand gloves and then go around like a doomsday cult telling all will go to hell.
I think the word is "eccentric."
But there are women who revert and do so without going over the deep end and without dumping all their Christian friends and family. women who don't dump their mortage, stop listening to music or watching TV, refuse to pay taxes, who keep their children at home instead of public or private school (in effect installing a great deep seated fear of all Christians and westerner I am phrasing this on the line of Waco), or even to so far as to rearrange their anatomy down south.
I mean the more severe outlook that Muslims can produce these reverts take it to an extreme. I have seen very few actually balance their lives and see Islam as flexible and progressive religion.
But of course so many reverts on these egy boards either reverted to get married and don't take Islam seriously or they go overboard. There isn't much of a Middle ground like if they were born Muslim.
And the reason why I choose to not revert until I am ready. Many years of study and living within a Muslim dominant culture before I make that leap. Its a choice, not a reaction.
quote:
Originally posted by sonomod:
But there are women who revert and do so without going over the deep end and without dumping all their Christian friends and family. women who don't dump their mortage, stop listening to music or watching TV, refuse to pay taxes, who keep their children at home instead of public or private school (in effect installing a great deep seated fear of all Christians and westerner I am phrasing this on the line of Waco), or even to so far as to rearrange their anatomy down south.
Sono, r u serious?????? Are there really any women who accept Islam as their new religion actually do those horrors?????? :O
quote:
Originally posted by sonomod:
By spineless I meant that she has a tendancy to accept cultural practices of Muslims before actual Islamic juriprudence.
If that is your definition of “spineless” I would say that it actually applies more to people who are "born Muslims" than to “reverts”, as the majority of new Muslims do try to seek out information about their new found religion and follow it as it was revealed rather than just carrying on the accepted family traditional ways of practice.
Some of the reactions you are describing to new Muslims are exactly the same as people describe in reaction to “born-again Christians” or to college students who think they are the only people who have ever opened a book and studied anything about life. It comes from their over-enthusiasm to adjust to their newfound knowledge/faith. However to generalize this to all new-Muslims/reverts is what I was objecting to.
It’s a fascinating world we are living in today, where women are called “eccentric” because they choose to dress conservatively and wear socks in their sandals, gloves, scarves, and cover their faces. But if they walk around with their bellies hanging over the top of their skirts or trousers/pants, or a dress that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination about what it is theoretically meant to be covering, they are considered fashionable!
quote:
Originally posted by sonomod:
Wow you don't consider 20% too much? Kinda strange.Now are you in the USA already, or she in Egypt with you or is it a distance thing? And the age gap, is there one or are you the same relatively age?
Those factors make such a big difference.
Plus if you are in Egypt most people will give you space to enjoy being married, if you are the groom, the wife is picked apart.
Now if you are in USA, you will be picked apart from other Arabs. They will not leave you alone, you will constantly be critized.
Plus she will be torn apart and ostrasized everyday for marrying you. Is she a strong person? If she is middle class and white it will change every aspect of her life. Plus don't allow her to take your last name untill you have children or not at all. She will face discrimination at a whole new high when she does. If she is rich, she will get some hate but much less, because money talks. Plus alot of your Arab friends will assume that she is rich and will take care of you financially, so when they come to ask for money beware. Alot of single Arab men will leech off of another Arab friend because of his American wife. For a while these will be your only friends.
A revert is a Christain who has had their Shaddah, chosen Islam. Most of the time these new Muslimahs become basically spineless creatures. Believing that they are biologically, spiritual, and intellectual inferiors to men. Plus they hate the west and hate Christainity vehmentally. Just look to our 'Religion' and 'Politics' section of the forum. Hate isn't a virtue of Islam, but this is the only reason that brought these women to Islam.
Be careful, the way you feel about your American girlfriend and her faith will change within weeks of marriage. Then you will know who your friends are.
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 15 June 2005).]
Hi Sonomod,nice to hear from you.I beleive that some of what you say is true and happens.but Hey life is much more beautiful than that,not all the people are bad people and not all of em are good.besides I dont wanna marry a revert,you wont beleive that one thing that attracted me to this girl is her strong faith in her religion,she is christian and she goes to the church frequently,and she helps poor people and children,I mean c'mon I love that in her.Yes I am a muslim ,and i wish if she one day will be convinced with Islam BY HER WILL,because me being a muslim,i beleive that this is the way to heaven,and being in love with her,I wnt her to be in heaven.but TAKE CARE,when i think about that,she also beleives that christianity is the way to heaven and she wishes me to be in heaven too.so see there is noone better than the other or much worthy to be followed.one term of Love is to respect the other person,again respect the other person.if one day a woman come to me and says"i will be your slave",I will hate this woman of course,women and men are human beings,God created us having many things in common and a little things different,but eventually,we are the same,we are equal.beleive me,I will not regret if i married her,and she wont too thank you Sonomod for your concern
quote:
Originally posted by newcomer:
If that is your definition of “spineless” I would say that it actually applies more to people who are "born Muslims" than to “reverts”, as the majority of new Muslims do try to seek out information about their new found religion and follow it as it was revealed rather than just carrying on the accepted family traditional ways of practice.Some of the reactions you are describing to new Muslims are exactly the same as people describe in reaction to “born-again Christians” or to college students who think they are the only people who have ever opened a book and studied anything about life. It comes from their over-enthusiasm to adjust to their newfound knowledge/faith. However to generalize this to all new-Muslims/reverts is what I was objecting to.
It’s a fascinating world we are living in today, where women are called “eccentric” because they choose to dress conservatively and wear socks in their sandals, gloves, scarves, and cover their faces. But if they walk around with their bellies hanging over the top of their skirts or trousers/pants, or a dress that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination about what it is theoretically meant to be covering, they are considered fashionable!
Yeah right. My husband has requested that a few new reverts not take their Shaddah. Because they are doing so for the wrong reasons.
What I am trying to explain here is that many of these reverts are damaged people. And damaged people can do alot of harm to a religion's image.
You know how many people are turned away from Al-Azhar because they are risky students? You know how many people are deported from Jureusalem of all three faiths because they are a security risk or just plain freaky?
People should adopt a faith because it feels right for them. Not because they hate who they are or hate the society they are surrounded by or because it will increases their chances for finally landing a husband.
People can see these innappropriate motivations for what they are. Usually reverts with innappropriate motivations end up scaring people off from exploring a faith who would've ended up adopting the faith for the right reasons.
Quality vs. Non-Quality.
There are many people who adopt new ways of life/seek knowledge for their own personal reasons, for example, how many people do you think go to study psychiatry/ psychology/ social work because they are looking for answers to problems in their own lives or go out to look for answers in any religion they can find? Some may find healing in the new way and for others it can be a form of escapism. Insha Allah all those who need healing will eventually find the right way without taking too many dead ends.
I don’t deny that there are some people who do come to Islam for reasons other than believing in the religion and being committed to it, and that this shouldn’t be encouraged. And I agree that not all reverts give a good impression to other people about Islam, but the same can be said about many of those who were born into Muslim families and claim to be Muslims, or those who claim to be Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Buddhists too. But nowadays it’s the Muslims who are in the limelight, so they are the ones everyone feels free to point the finger at!
thanks
Haydee
quote:
Originally posted by Shadya:
Hi everyone, I'm new in the forum. I like this topic!My husband is from Cairo and we married there last November during Eid. Since I have no family here, his family has become my family. We spent 3 weeks there and I had the most wonderful time. I love his friends and his family.
I could not ask for a nicer husband. He is sweet, cooks for me, is always in a great mood and he really never takes anything too seriously. That's good for me because I tend to be more serious about things. We married later in life, so we have no children. It was quite a relief to find a man who was not looking for a 2nd wife to add to his collection.
He is sort of a moderate in his beliefs and practices too. I can wear western wear as long as the clothing is moderate. I can wear ethnic dress and he always compliments me. I wear hijab by choice. He does not mind that I have a career as a Medical Director for two hospitals. He never complains if I work late.
Yet my husband's personality in some ways are still tied to his culture. He has to bargain for anything he purchases. His cooking is very ethnic and I love his koshory. He has ideas about his financial responsibilities to his family, and for the most part, I agree. What we do not agree on, we work out.
I certainly could have done worse! Also, he is very romantic...
They are also very intelligent.
I also think that if an Egyptian man who lives in Egypt has a father or brothers who take more than one wife, that there is a higher likelihood that he may also. Just an afterthought.
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
quote:
Originally posted by Catherine_S:
I live in America also, have lived here my entire life. I met my first Egyptian man and thought that I really needed to get to know this man better. We have been friends for almost 3 years now. The thing that I notice about Egyptian men is that they are very very close to their mothers. And they are very hard workers, working 6 days a week and very long hours.They are also very intelligent.
I also think that if an Egyptian man who lives in Egypt has a father or brothers who take more than one wife, that there is a higher likelihood that he may also. Just an afterthought.
Yes, I agree about Egyptian men and their relationship with their mums. They are such mummy's boys which I find really sweet! The Egyptian man I know is also very hard working and intelligent. Omigod! I hope that we are not talking about the same man!
Anyway, thanks for the afterthought on the possibility of 'heredity' pattern of more than one wives. I will do further investigation on my Egyptian man.
I also have an Egyptian friend in Saudi Arabia whose father took 2 wives. But he himself said that he isn't going to marry but one woman. He believes that if a man truly loves his wife that he will not marry more than one wife. His mother recently passed. Now his father is with the 2nd wife. IT just seems so unfair.
quote:
Originally posted by Catherine_S:
The man I was writing of lives and works in California. He owns his own business. I believe he was born here in the U.S. I am madly in love with him, but he is madly in love with making money, and he is very very good at that.I also have an Egyptian friend in Saudi Arabia whose father took 2 wives. But he himself said that he isn't going to marry but one woman. He believes that if a man truly loves his wife that he will not marry more than one wife. His mother recently passed. Now his father is with the 2nd wife. IT just seems so unfair.
Sorry to be so blunt, but men are selfish d*cks everywhere. Every culture has a different way of expressing how much of a dink a guy is.
Unfortunately Arabs have a very strong option of taking more than one wife to show their selfish, evil ways. It tends to show in a more efficient fashion just how f*cked up the male species are.
I loved Egypt....I feel homesick actually for it. I am going back in November...wish me luck...maybe there is a chance for me and the sexy romantic Egyptian
quote:
Originally posted by SherryH:
I met an Egyptian man online...visited him for 3 weeks back in February...fell totally in love with his charm and romantic ways..ahhh but he is married...says he loves me..maybe he does...but I too considered moving to Egypt. Being an American though I've decided I could never adapt to the customs..and I surely don't want to share him with his wife. If I could get him a visa to USA...I wouldn't have to share
Sorry honey the charm and romance only lasts as long until you say 'I do' or if they are trying to get money out of you. Most Egyptian men are very ambitious and think like in USA is so easy that all Arabs become rich overnight. Then comes the let down. If an Egyptian doesn't have this fake ideal of USA then his assimulation will come much easier. If a man thinks the roads of USA are paved with gold, run the other way.
I wouldn't go near him, he's married after all.
And meeting someone online? Are you for real?
You could get used to life in Misr, if you lived a privilaged and sheltered expat lifestyle or really hated America and wanted to be rid of it in the most hostile fashion.
Or you could find a happy medium somewhere between revert religious freak and expat royalty. Its a difficult path being in a foreign country and still be comfortable in your own skin.
But having Misr being fed to you through a gigilo is the worst way to see the country. Keep on reading: http://search.yahoo.com/search/options?fr=fp-top&p=
And use this image as a guide, I have been using yahoo advanced search since the forum moderators, ie sam and neal don't like me to repost (which I do anyway):
http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4820/yahooadvancesearch1pc.png
(copy and paste this link into your address bar, even hyperlinks don't work on this forum)
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 09 July 2005).]
quote:
Originally posted by Cosmogirl:
Why do you say the charm only last until the man gets something? Why would he go through all the acting? What if you become partners, marry and then share in all things? WHat if it is the choice of the woman to give and partner in all ways? My husband certainly came with less than I have, but he came from Egypt, and I was raised in US, I have had lots of opportunities to accumulate wealth that he didn't have. When we first got together, the main priority for BOTH of us was to buy his Mother her own apartment in Egypt. I understood deeply that if he was always looking back, worried about her, he wouldn't be with me. SO we divided the cost in half and the woman who raised the man I love with all of my heart, is also safe and loved by the two of us. If I had feared that his love to me was about money, I would be a fool. His love is FOR ME, and that we are partners in this life is all that matters, not who has more of what.
So you are paying half of the costs for his mother's apartment? Isn't that a little odd?
Luckily my in-laws are very financially comfortable. But that doesn't stop his brothers from assuming that all Americans are well off. His brothers assume since USAID is handing money around right and left in the Mid-East, Egypt and Israel getting the biggest chunk that we don't know how to manage money. That Americans are a bunch of idiots who wouldn't be prosperous without sucking the life out of the third world. No matter how many times I have told them that very few people in the USA can get by without a second job or a married couple both working (one of which might work a second job) they still think that its a waste for my husband to be married to me without benefiting financially.
Now a few months after we were married his brothers assumed that when my husband needed money that my mother would sell her $300,000 home and remarry my dad and move back in with him. Giving the equity to my husband. Because that is what they do in Egypt. They couldn't understand why my family wouldn't financially support my husband in his business. Somehow starting a Tobacco shop in a Medical Arts building downtown (this same building has had 80% of its retail spaces empty over 30 years, yes I did the research and told my husband but he thought since I was female and American that I was full of it)But since he is Muslim and Arab he could make anything happen.
This generation of Arabs have heard the accounts of Arab Muslims moving to America getting full financial backing from his in-laws only to become an instant success. The Arab-American businessman likes to educate his Arab family back home that no Arab can fail in the US because Americans are stupid and don't know how to manage money, so they gratefully hand over what ever is asked of them to their Arab son-in-law.
Its the reverse of the cinderella story and most Arab immigrant young men have bought into it completely. Ask your husband to rent or record off of Satellite Arab channels the movie: "Lost in LA" with Khalid al-Nawaba.
Now this scheme worked in the 1970s and 1980s. It worked like a charm because when an American woman married a Saudi her family was able to become investors in OPEC. Some American families are stupid and cannot tell the difference between a Saudi and a Lebanese. Still they financially support their son-in-laws untill they are annointed the "Pizzeria or Convenience Store King" of the region.
My husband knows at least 15 different Arab-American businessmen who have siphoned off money for at least a decade from in-laws. Mind you in these blended American-Arab families the children are raised Christian and not Muslim. Because the husband received so much financial backing from the American spouse and her family he has no say in how they are raised. Later when the children are nearly grown up the visit their paternal families for the first time in their life. A huge clash happens and the kids find out how much their paternal family resents them. But of course their father sent money to help out, the wife's family bought their silence, but didn't buy out their rage.
So the kids come home resenting their Arab family, and this scares the heck out of many Arab fathers who don't have financial backing from their American in-laws. At that point without financial backing the marriage deteriates quickly.
This is where I am at.
It might be different for you. But since you have already given him financial help, his family is going to expect continued support.
It think my in-laws have figured out that my family is stingy and evil. No money. My MIL is shameful and in a heavy amount of dispair since she has figure out what my husband's and his brother's intentions and expectations of me were. My FIL is just as pained. But his wife supported him financially with the help of her father through a Bachelors, Masters, post-graduate, and 3 Phd programs, a total of 12 years of education. Somehow what my husband and his brothers are demanding of me is small fries compared to what his wife readily gave. I can't win. I am broke.
But its different depending on where your man grew up. If in the big city like Cairo to an affluent family then a vast majority of the regimented expectations are off.
But I will say this, these types of demands are made of wifes regardless of where they husbands originate or what their faith is. I have seen deadbeat foreign born husbands from Mexico, Brazil, Guatamala, Russia, India, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Niger, South Africa, Jamaica, even Slovakia. Any country that is poor and has a strong dislike for America you'd better believe that the husband will expect financial support from his 9-5 American in-laws while he works smarter as an entreprenuer. They assume that immigrants are naturally superior to 'lazy, stupid born Americans'.
I have seen it all. Had alot of crying sessions with other women who married foreigners. My city is the 4th highest population of inter-national, inter-faith, and inter-ethnic marriages. My city has has women earning more than men on average.
Not to say that this happens with every American-Foreigner marriage. But it happens enough. I'd put my money on the 'mail order bride' concept of a marriage, at least that is more honest.
quote:
Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex:
Lifeagift....Sounds like plenty of money to live comfortably here for 9-15 months! In Alexandria allot of Foreigners prefer the Karfour Abdul(excuse mis spelling) area but rent is about 1200-2500 LE monthly there which is high here. This area is not close to the sea but very clean and upscale. Most flats near the busy sea main road are not that desirable and you have allot of noise, traffic and pollution, not too mention extreme wind from sea..IT was cold this winter! Not much central heat or air remember and concrete bldgs. with tile floors is the norm. It is not like you open your terrace for tea and are looking at the beautiful surroundings and sunset. Just warning. There are hardly any villas for rent or sale right by sea as it is a main thorough fare. You would have to go out of city and there isn't much civilazation out there yet. The library is lovely. Can't comment on the studying in Cairo. Alex. is 2 1/2 hr commute. I live 5 blocks from sea in decent new flat for much less than mentioned however we bought it in total Egyptian community.
You have to be pretty well off to fly home to states once a year also once you get used to the prices here etc. you will find it harder to rationalize spending so much to go home often. Our recent tickets were 4,000 dollars to home for family of 4 in June this summer.
We came here for some of the reasons you mentioned and some may be true but it doesn't outweigh the pluses of American LIfe to me...so think hard. I wish I had just tried to scale down my unneccesary, over extravagant lifestyle & spending and lived more to my means in US.
I'm sure others may help you out more with finanacial info. and positive support..I would go to Living in Egypt and post this same question it may be viewed more than Sharing your Experiences in Egypt. If you want more of my info. just ask. I am still adjusting my 1st yr here so you may have to share others viewpoints. My children do love their private school here and are happy!
food for family four= roughly 2500LE mnth
Car cost used smll sized econo. 20,000 LE
REnt 600-2000LE mnthly
Entertainment = 300+ LE monthly minimal don't get out too much options not high)
Cost dinner out pizza for 4=60LE+
Cost dinner out nice fish rest.for 4= 350 LE +
Movie for 1= 20 LE Taxi 1-3 miles 4 LE
Outfit for 5 yr old 160+ LE OUtfit me-300+LE English book price 60-100 LE
Decent CAndy bar =2 LE can cola 1LE
MCDonalds combo meal for 1= 13 LE
Gas fill up small econo. car= 12 LE
Some gen. prices for you....Good luck
Hi misplacedinalex, how are things? Are you still there? Is it going okay?
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
quote:
Originally posted by mmscairo2003@yahoo.com:
hi,
im inlove with eygptian doctor he lives there i live in u.s.a. im in process of getting divorced and then i plan to marry him but i dnt no how to start he says he might have to do military but if he marries me i dont think so im not sure anyway my momi is giving me a hard time to go see him i have two kids and she says something might happen to me. but i was there in april and i loved it i need to be with him but i dnt no where to start well in i have to get divorced first but i need to see him i cant wait and he cant either i need help badly
im so desperate to see him we cry on phone together all the time.
How old is he? Maybe I'm confused but it sounds kinda fishy. Give more details because I've read of other women in this similair predicament with the miitary. How did you meet him?
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
[Q
UOTE]Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex:
Carolina9, I'm from Carolinas! I think I have a rare Egyptian man from looking at these posts off and on... but it still has not been very easy to adjust to life here. I don't think my 10 mnths living here thus far is a real fair time to say I can't do it so I'm giving it more time. My husband got his US citizenship and we owned a successful business back home together but it was stressing both of us out and he had health problems which lead us to come over here to live. We also wanted more family quality time. He wanted to be around his family and let our children experience and enjoy his homeland/culture! I agreed to it but it's easier said then done. I have no problems with my husband he actually is catering to my every need here and it's probably driving him crazy and keeping him from venturing into other things here. However, I have heard stories like you and there is some truth to them ..but every man is different and circumstance!! I think if I could move back tommorow I would. Sure everyone loves a vacation to far away place and the seasides, sunsets, exotic atmosphere here, but real life does not involve vacationing everyday anywhere. The life here is difficult. I took a job to keep busy not in my field and was only making 300 LE a month. I miss the comforts, so many choices at my fingertips and sights of home and even though I do not condone every darn US lifestyle I miss it! Think hard and visit first doing normal everyday things..not just sunning and traveling and thinking,I love Egypt it's so lovely. Met his family, they are a big part of the stucture of life here. Even in US meddling families can hinder a lovely relationship! When you have children it is a diff. ball game too. Make sure you ask about the future and all he expects or desires from you as a partner. I know of some men who have changed drastically upon moving here with their Am. wifes for the worst and some woman who are just loving life here w/no problems. Trust is important in your mate. Culture differences are a larger part of my marriage then I ever anticipated. My man loves me so much he is willing to take us all back accross the vast oceans but I hate to do this to him..and this hurts..our cultures are so different and who knew in the beginning we would end up here or that he would rather the children grow up here?! .Our love is so strong I hope it endures but I do not see my future here even if it where he wants to be. I want my children to have more opportunites in life and freedom I want them to enjoy so much I took for granted without being spoiled. I don't think I should have to give up my beliefs, enjoyments of life which for me requires certain materialistic things and experiences. So think very hard before you're heart and soul is united and sometimes swayed. Ask away... speculate and determine.....Good luck![/QUOTE]
quote:
Originally posted by 1mangang:
I think Egyptian men are funny.
From reading the posts here they like to marry western women and it never works out (or if they are trying to use them). u cant tame western women, especially american, unless she wants to be tamed. I think the egyptian men who try this are very naive. I have heard egyptian women stand up for themselves and can be very bossy. that's different from american woman. American women are the same way except that if you hurt them or use them they will stare at your eyes as they hold you under the water.
Egyptian men, playing with fire.
Only the wind can handle this fire, which is why Western men should stay with Western women, works out better.
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
QUOTE]Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,
I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.[/QUOTE]
quote:
Originally posted by Amina_A:
BY THE WAY..............Im one of those "crazy" people who met their egyptian prince online----and trust me---IT CAN WORK OUT. they arent all users!!
he ha ha ha really? Are you serious? What's your track record?
quote:
Originally posted by 1mangang:
I think Egyptian men are funny.
From reading the posts here they like to marry western women and it never works out (or if they are trying to use them). u cant tame western women, especially american, unless she wants to be tamed. I think the egyptian men who try this are very naive. I have heard egyptian women stand up for themselves and can be very bossy. that's different from american woman. American women are the same way except that if you hurt them or use them they will stare at your eyes as they hold you under the water.
Egyptian men, playing with fire.
Only the wind can handle this fire, which is why Western men should stay with Western women, works out better.
quote:
Originally posted by Jenna:
Hi Everyone,I live in America, I m a professor at a major college in the states. My father is Egyptian/ mother american. I was raised in Egypt, my father is a doctor. I visit my relatives in Egypt in the summer most of the time.
Love to hear from American women from all over and there views, thoughts, any input on egyptian men.
quote:
Originally posted by Shadya:
Hi everyone, I'm new in the forum. I like this topic!My husband is from Cairo and we married there last November during Eid. Since I have no family here, his family has become my family. We spent 3 weeks there and I had the most wonderful time. I love his friends and his family.
I could not ask for a nicer husband. He is sweet, cooks for me, is always in a great mood and he really never takes anything too seriously. That's good for me because I tend to be more serious about things. We married later in life, so we have no children. It was quite a relief to find a man who was not looking for a 2nd wife to add to his collection.
He is sort of a moderate in his beliefs and practices too. I can wear western wear as long as the clothing is moderate. I can wear ethnic dress and he always compliments me. I wear hijab by choice. He does not mind that I have a career as a Medical Director for two hospitals. He never complains if I work late.
Yet my husband's personality in some ways are still tied to his culture. He has to bargain for anything he purchases. His cooking is very ethnic and I love his koshory. He has ideas about his financial responsibilities to his family, and for the most part, I agree. What we do not agree on, we work out.
I certainly could have done worse! Also, he is very romantic...
Interesting that you mention views on financial responsibility from egyptian men,as that is something my partner(egyptian)and i (british)have struggled with!Also am considering moving to Cairo to be with him,but would need to work.Do you know if there is any demand for registered nurses,with limited knowledge of Arabic?Best wishes
quote:
Originally posted by Maria Jones:
Just wanted to know how the children and you are finding the new culture and language?Am considering relocating to Cairo with my 6 and 4 year old,so am looking for advice,experiences,from people who have relocated with children.[/B]
Hi Maria, I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, but I just wanted to let you know...I'm looking into the possibility of relocating to Cairo and I've got two children, aged 6 & 4!! Perhaps we could help each other along? I'm at the stage of scrutinising the British Schools web-sites...
Hmmm, I agree to an extent, except that I find American men tend to be too weak for the american womans' personality. Perhaps it's just an opinion, but I find weaker men disgusting. Stand up for yourselves! Of course, I feel the same about women....whatever your belief at the time.
However, I loved the stare at the eyes while holding them under water, this is GREAT ! lol
I have heard of American women who have set men's cars on fire, taken scissors to every piece of clothing the men own, had a beloved pet snuffed out or revealed humuliating truths to his family and friends because of a broken heart. I knew of another who knew the man was cheating, saved face for several months, and secretly spent every dime he owned and ruined his credit purposely before leaving and taking EVERYTHING in his apartment (including the ice trays). Sure it might not mend the broken heart, but for these men at least it might help them to think twice to do it again, or at least get more sneaky
quote:
Originally posted by carolina9:
oh no, we both live now in America. we met in NYC this past summer and now i'm finishing my last year of University and he's still in Manhattan. so the distance is far but it's not international travel! ha ha. by the way, he was a professional civil engineer over in Cairo and he's having trouble finding work here. Any suggestions?
he will not ever find work here without american training and degree...their systems of engineering and mertics are completely different over there and he will not find any job in that field in america. i have a good male egyptian friend who had the same problem. he went thru our scholling for 3 years and got a degree, got an entry level enginerring assistants job thenm suffered thru more college (rutgers) while working there.
quote:
Originally posted by angelofsweetness:
Yes, I agree about Egyptian men and their relationship with their mums. They are such mummy's boys which I find really sweet! The Egyptian man I know is also very hard working and intelligent. Omigod! I hope that we are not talking about the same man!Anyway, thanks for the afterthought on the possibility of 'heredity' pattern of more than one wives. I will do further investigation on my Egyptian man.
JUST TO CLEAR UP THIS 4 WIFE DEAL..IT IS VERY RARE THIS HAPPENS AND IN ORDER FOR IT TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN, THE HUSBAND MUST ASK PERMISSION OF HIS FIRST WIFE BEFORE DOING SO. THE MOST COMMON REASON IS THE WIVES INFERTILITY. THE MAN LOVES HIS WIF, SHE LOVES HIM AND DON NOT DESIRE A DIVORCE BUT HE WANT S HIS OWN KIDS. MUSLIMS DONT DO THE ARIFICIAL INSEMINATION AND IN VITRO STUFF SO SHE MAY PERMIT HIM TO MARRY ANOTHER. BUT HE MUST BE TOTALLY EQUAL AMONGST THEM. EACH HAS THEIR OWN FLAT PROVDED BY HIM AND MONEY AND THE CARE THEY NEED..THIS IS VERY DEMANDING HOWVER SO MEN DONT REALLY DO THIS ANYMORE AND IF THEY DO, THEY SNEAK IT WHICH PUTS HIM IN JAIL IF HE GETS CAUGHT. IT IS CONSIDRED INFIDELITY IN THAT CASE WHICH IS CONSIDERED A CRIM FOR BOTH SEXES..NOT JUST WOMEN.
quote:if he is married to 2 wives then it was permitted by the first wife as it is little known that he must have her permission to marry a second. aslo, egyptian men do love money..its nuts isnt it! i suffer with one. he has a business and is halfway thru construction of his own apartment bldg in cairo, thanks to his tighness, but i had to suffer for it too....he made me work full time til my due date in pregnancy. then 5 weeks later go back full time and he doesnt even help clean the house...i do the husband AND the wifes job and im beat!!!
Originally posted by Catherine_S:
The man I was writing of lives and works in California. He owns his own business. I believe he was born here in the U.S. I am madly in love with him, but he is madly in love with making money, and he is very very good at that.I also have an Egyptian friend in Saudi Arabia whose father took 2 wives. But he himself said that he isn't going to marry but one woman. He believes that if a man truly loves his wife that he will not marry more than one wife. His mother recently passed. Now his father is with the 2nd wife. IT just seems so unfair.
quote:
Originally posted by SherryH:
I met an Egyptian man online...visited him for 3 weeks back in February...fell totally in love with his charm and romantic ways..ahhh but he is married...says he loves me..maybe he does...but I too considered moving to Egypt. Being an American though I've decided I could never adapt to the customs..and I surely don't want to share him with his wife. If I could get him a visa to USA...I wouldn't have to share
girl whats wrong with u!!!!of course he wants to marry u...theres no money over there and now u cant get a visa to come here unless u marry a citizen or you have a legal relative here petition for you! u know how many letters my husband had me write up begging the egyptian consulate to issue his mama a visa to come visit us here! look....i know these peopl very well and his wife can permit him to marry another wife (they cant without her permission and a viable reason to do it). if they have gard times she will very likely tell him to marry you to make money here to send there! wake up! this is a very heavily used trick...an for the record all egyptian men are suave sexy and romantic. but remember, if he cheats on his wife (given the fact she DIDNT help scheme this up) he'll cheat on u too because infidelity over there is severly punishable and i doubt he is risking it.
quote:
Originally posted by mmscairo2003@yahoo.com:
Hi,
im am interested in talking to u im inlove with eygptian doctor well will graduate in march but i want to marry him and he also but im worried about him comming here and how to do it and if he will be exempt from military. i need help plz thanks mari
sorry but thanks to out 9-11 attack, he will need a citizen wife or a legal relative residing in the states to petition for him to come, in other words, send lots of begging letters to the egyptian consulate pleading for him to come. as for the military, the draft over there is forced and many men flee from it and comes here. my hubby went thru this. his flew to italy on an excuse he is meeting his uncle who lives there then flew to guatemala where he walked up to mexico with an immigrant group and then walked from mexico into texas and he succeded thru that little underground railroads which still exists. no one wants to go thru the hell so they hop online and try to cop themselves an american girl dumb enough to visit egypt, marry them and take them back home...unfortunately, he wont be ablt to be a doctor over as our skills and systems are totally different and he will have to go thru american college for degress all over again.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex:
[b]Carolina9, I'm from Carolinas! I think I have a rare Egyptian man from looking at these posts off and on... but it still has not been very easy to adjust to life here. I don't think my 10 mnths living here thus far is a real fair time to say I can't do it so I'm giving it more time. My husband got his US citizenship and we owned a successful business back home together but it was stressing both of us out and he had health problems which lead us to come over here to live. We also wanted more family quality time. He wanted to be around his family and let our children experience and enjoy his homeland/culture! I agreed to it but it's easier said then done. I have no problems with my husband he actually is catering to my every need here and it's probably driving him crazy and keeping him from venturing into other things here. However, I have heard stories like you and there is some truth to them ..but every man is different and circumstance!! I think if I could move back tommorow I would. Sure everyone loves a vacation to far away place and the seasides, sunsets, exotic atmosphere here, but real life does not involve vacationing everyday anywhere. The life here is difficult. I took a job to keep busy not in my field and was only making 300 LE a month. I miss the comforts, so many choices at my fingertips and sights of home and even though I do not condone every darn US lifestyle I miss it! Think hard and visit first doing normal everyday things..not just sunning and traveling and thinking,I love Egypt it's so lovely. Met his family, they are a big part of the stucture of life here. Even in US meddling families can hinder a lovely relationship! When you have children it is a diff. ball game too. Make sure you ask about the future and all he expects or desires from you as a partner. I know of some men who have changed drastically upon moving here with their Am. wifes for the worst and some woman who are just loving life here w/no problems. Trust is important in your mate. Culture differences are a larger part of my marriage then I ever anticipated. My man loves me so much he is willing to take us all back accross the vast oceans but I hate to do this to him..and this hurts..our cultures are so different and who knew in the beginning we would end up here or that he would rather the children grow up here?! .Our love is so strong I hope it endures but I do not see my future here even if it where he wants to be. I want my children to have more opportunites in life and freedom I want them to enjoy so much I took for granted without being spoiled. I don't think I should have to give up my beliefs, enjoyments of life which for me requires certain materialistic things and experiences. So think very hard before you're heart and soul is united and sometimes swayed. Ask away... speculate and determine.....Good luck!
[/B][/QUOTE]
quote:
Originally posted by Amina_A:
this made me laugh out loud!! very true indeed!!
not really....uneducated egyptian men who only see the world thru a closed eye are the ones who dont know how to love enough to change a bit for soemone else. so what, us american gals are strong...at least when we lose our husbands in death or divorce, we have enough bravery, education, brains, smarts strength and know how to support ourselves instead of having to sell our jewelry and become bellydancers to feed our kids. id rather be a bitch that stands up for herself than a starving single streetgirl.
quote:
Originally posted by tami025:
not really....uneducated egyptian men who only see the world thru a closed eye are the ones who dont know how to love enough to change a bit for soemone else. so what, us american gals are strong...at least when we lose our husbands in death or divorce, we have enough bravery, education, brains, smarts strength and know how to support ourselves instead of having to sell our jewelry and become bellydancers to feed our kids. id rather be a bitch that stands up for herself than a starving single streetgirl.
okay i am american and my egyptian husband loves me very much but any other women he will not tolerate...we have been together forever it seems (im 25 he is 27 we got married at the ages of 17 and 19) and he has a message to leave....im laughing my ass of right now but here goes...."for all american womenwho want to marry egyptian men, listen to my advice!! 1st-its very very hard to bring one of us here to america...even though we might be a doctor over in egypt, we will be a dishwasher here in america. and he will let himself suffer just to pay american prices, feed his family back in egypt and feed his american woman's butt and try to feed himself at the same time...he will be happy in america for a few years, but after all that is done even after he grows off the dishwashing job and advances to cook positions in a diner, he will take his money and say asta la bista baby and go back home." hahahaha here is his views on american women, "they are lazy, sloppy, bitchy, and stop cooking hot dogs and hamburger helper for dinner damn it!!!...i want molokhia and rice which americans hate...and even though i like u, to us egyptian men, like means love...aka u look good tonight but later, no way. we will never change..it took my wife 8 long years to realize that and accept it and now she is the one changing for me...the king of egypt, boss of cairo, egyptian, never will be american no matter how many american women i sleep with, an tell i love u to for a green card, i will be willing to pay the price of sexy american ass and hamburger helper for dinner, cause all i really wanna do is feed my family back home and live there with my wife (ameircan) and kid. so if ya cant see it this way which beleive me is the way of alllllllllllllllllllll egyptian men here....ma sallam."
quote:
Originally posted by KeepinItReal:
How old is he? Maybe I'm confused but it sounds kinda fishy. Give more details because I've read of other women in this similair predicament with the miitary. How did you meet him?
just a headsup..the Egyptian military is fierce. when it drafts a man he has no choice but to go. if he doesn the spends half his life in jail. one way out...the route my husband took...escape the the states. my man got outta dodge 10 years ago but times have changed and now, u need to be either married to a citizen or have a legal resident immediate family member to send countless petition, or begging on paper as i call it as i have had to write these many times before to get my own mothe rin law over here...if he doesnt have family here, he needs a wife. otherwise, he goes to the army. but they cannot take him after 30 years fo age.
quote:
Originally posted by Nooralhaq2005:
Originally posted by 1mangang:
I think Egyptian men are funny.
From reading the posts here they like to marry western women and it never works out (or if they are trying to use them). u cant tame western women, especially american, unless she wants to be tamed. I think the egyptian men who try this are very naive. I have heard egyptian women stand up for themselves and can be very bossy. that's different from american woman. American women are the same way except that if you hurt them or use them they will stare at your eyes as they hold you under the water.
Egyptian men, playing with fire.
Only the wind can handle this fire, which is why Western men should stay with Western women, works out better. (quote)Hmmm, I agree to an extent, except that I find American men tend to be too weak for the american womans' personality. Perhaps it's just an opinion, but I find weaker men disgusting. Stand up for yourselves! Of course, I feel the same about women....whatever your belief at the time.
However, I loved the stare at the eyes while holding them under water, this is GREAT ! lol
I have heard of American women who have set men's cars on fire, taken scissors to every piece of clothing the men own, had a beloved pet snuffed out or revealed humuliating truths to his family and friends because of a broken heart. I knew of another who knew the man was cheating, saved face for several months, and secretly spent every dime he owned and ruined his credit purposely before leaving and taking EVERYTHING in his apartment (including the ice trays). Sure it might not mend the broken heart, but for these men at least it might help them to think twice to do it again, or at least get more sneaky
damn right girlfriend...once my husband commented on how sexy this chicks legs were, i smacked him in the back of the head as i left the room.he came in for a hug after that and i punched him right in the gut....hey if i t were in egypt, and i was arab, my man would have thrown acid in my face right?
once (during a split up) i found another girls shoes in the house...i knew the deal...i took a knife to his stereo and pushed his motocycle over and cause thousands of $$$ in repairs. loool
hey if it were me doing it to him, i would have been killed. ha
not here baby. and also, american men arent weak...they just respect women and treat them as equals. they are quite ugly though but hell, the clean up after themselves.
but unlike in egypt, if i found my son hitting his wife or acting like a hot headed arab (as we know egyptian men get) i will knock him the f* out and say,'son i KNNOOOWWW i didnt teach you to treat a woman like that!"
quote:
Originally posted by sonomod:
Wow you don't consider 20% too much? Kinda strange.Now are you in the USA already, or she in Egypt with you or is it a distance thing? And the age gap, is there one or are you the same relatively age?
Those factors make such a big difference.
Plus if you are in Egypt most people will give you space to enjoy being married, if you are the groom, the wife is picked apart.
Now if you are in USA, you will be picked apart from other Arabs. They will not leave you alone, you will constantly be critized.
Plus she will be torn apart and ostrasized everyday for marrying you. Is she a strong person? If she is middle class and white it will change every aspect of her life. Plus don't allow her to take your last name untill you have children or not at all. She will face discrimination at a whole new high when she does. If she is rich, she will get some hate but much less, because money talks. Plus alot of your Arab friends will assume that she is rich and will take care of you financially, so when they come to ask for money beware. Alot of single Arab men will leech off of another Arab friend because of his American wife. For a while these will be your only friends.
A revert is a Christain who has had their Shaddah, chosen Islam. Most of the time these new Muslimahs become basically spineless creatures. Believing that they are biologically, spiritual, and intellectual inferiors to men. Plus they hate the west and hate Christainity vehmentally. Just look to our 'Religion' and 'Politics' section of the forum. Hate isn't a virtue of Islam, but this is the only reason that brought these women to Islam.
Be careful, the way you feel about your American girlfriend and her faith will change within weeks of marriage. Then you will know who your friends are.
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 15 June 2005).]
u are so wrong!!!!!!!!!get out from in front of the computer and step into the real world and see for urself. countries dont make a person....people make people okay so there. out of all of the arabs i know, and american women who are married to them and even aquaintences on the job and in social life, u are the only and first one i ever heard say this stuff.
quote:
Originally posted by tami025:
thenm suffered thru more college (rutgers) while working there.
Hey, what an coincidence! My husband attended the same university in NJ through a scholarship. I finally went last year to see the same area where he grew up.
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 07 October 2005).]
quote:
Originally posted by newcomer:
And what I am trying to explain is that it isn’t only the small percentage of the people who convert/revert to Islam who behave overenthusiastically that people find off-putting, they are put off by anyone who finds new knowledge or a new belief and tries to force it on other people.There are many people who adopt new ways of life/seek knowledge for their own personal reasons, for example, how many people do you think go to study psychiatry/ psychology/ social work because they are looking for answers to problems in their own lives or go out to look for answers in any religion they can find? Some may find healing in the new way and for others it can be a form of escapism. Insha Allah all those who need healing will eventually find the right way without taking too many dead ends.
I don’t deny that there are some people who do come to Islam for reasons other than believing in the religion and being committed to it, and that this shouldn’t be encouraged. And I agree that not all reverts give a good impression to other people about Islam, but the same can be said about many of those who were born into Muslim families and claim to be Muslims, or those who claim to be Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Buddhists too. But nowadays it’s the Muslims who are in the limelight, so they are the ones everyone feels free to point the finger at!
what a fanatic....
who is ur husband to think he is allowed to make such requests. what a person does is what they do...the only one who has say in it is god on the day they die, everyone else should tend to their own skeltons in their closet and leave well enough alone. i see many muslim born people ruin the religion themselves, like osama who claims he is doing all these acts in the name of allah? he dont look like much of a revert to meeeee...
quote:
Originally posted by tami025:
okay i am american and my egyptian husband loves me very much but any other women he will not tolerate...we have been together forever it seems (im 25 he is 27 we got married at the ages of 17 and 19) and he has a message to leave....im laughing my ass of right now but here goes...."for all american womenwho want to marry egyptian men, listen to my advice!! 1st-its very very hard to bring one of us here to america...even though we might be a doctor over in egypt, we will be a dishwasher here in america. and he will let himself suffer just to pay american prices, feed his family back in egypt and feed his american woman's butt and try to feed himself at the same time...he will be happy in america for a few years, but after all that is done even after he grows off the dishwashing job and advances to cook positions in a diner, he will take his money and say asta la bista baby and go back home." hahahaha here is his views on american women, "they are lazy, sloppy, bitchy, and stop cooking hot dogs and hamburger helper for dinner damn it!!!...i want molokhia and rice which americans hate...and even though i like u, to us egyptian men, like means love...aka u look good tonight but later, no way. we will never change..it took my wife 8 long years to realize that and accept it and now she is the one changing for me...the king of egypt, boss of cairo, egyptian, never will be american no matter how many american women i sleep with, an tell i love u to for a green card, i will be willing to pay the price of sexy american ass and hamburger helper for dinner, cause all i really wanna do is feed my family back home and live there with my wife (ameircan) and kid. so if ya cant see it this way which beleive me is the way of alllllllllllllllllllll egyptian men here....ma sallam."
I am a little confused about your current marriage situation (regarding the replies you wrote on Carolina9's topic). Are you on or off?
I just think you both were extremely young, not knowing anything about the other person's culture and traditions and that's how it shows. You do not seem to have found a level of compatibility with each other.
What would have been wrong to learn the Arabic cooking and other things? I mean you move mountain if you love someone. The same applies for him.
Stop fighting wit each other and argueing who has the pants on in your relationship. You both need to mature. Above all you have a child together. And you definitely need counceling, both of you. I am shattered that he was abusive to you in the past. Is he really cheating on you? If you can't manage a respecful life with each other then separate for the sake of everyone.
Good luck for the future!
quote:
Originally posted by tami025:
u are so wrong!!!!!!!!!get out from in front of the computer and step into the real world and see for urself. countries dont make a person....people make people okay so there. out of all of the arabs i know, and american women who are married to them and even aquaintences on the job and in social life, u are the only and first one i ever heard say this stuff.
Wow, I don't think you understand how communal Arabs even North Africans are by nature.
Individualism is suppressed from childhood.
An Arab in the USA doesn't stop behaving Arab just like when I go to another country I don't stop behaving American. I subdue my behavior and don't expect others to communicate or react to things the way I do, but I am still American.
You don't like what I had posted, tough!
I grew up around Arabs have been married to one for 4 years and my husband didn't assimulate overnight. Actually I know Arabs who have been here for 25 years and still dont' speak the English language.
And for your information I know quite a few women who have married Arabs and Egyptians and they don't have a clue what Arab or Egyptian culture is. They husband's prefer to keep them in the dark totally. Their husband's are American around their wives and then Arab around Arabs.
But I think I know who you are, and I understand why you have these perceptions. Don't blame you a bit for responding to my post in the manner you did. I have had a wall of reality hit me in the face as soon as I got married. Most Arab and North African men don't expect as much from their wives as my husband did. They marry a westerner and deal with it, my husband really thought I was Egyptian in an American body. It was hard to adjust to his expectation and try to find a middle ground.
quote:
Originally posted by Tigerlily:
Hey, what an coincidence! My husband attended the same university in NJ through a scholarship. I finally went last year to see the same area where he grew up.[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 07 October 2005).]
*
quote:
Originally posted by lifeAgift:
Thanks for the reply misplaced. I think I've read some of your post before.
Help what is LE is this a leira a pound or what??? I'm think the conversion is 6 to 1 US dollar am I correct???The fantasy plan is to sell are home here in the US plus all of our belongings hopefully that will give us the $30k (equity and stuff). My hubby has a job in Egypt already we send money and documents ever year for retiremnt or something to maintain his position??? It won't pay enough to support us all though.
[This message has been edited by lifeAgift (edited 17 April 2005).]
quote:
Originally posted by maqam:
Dear Misplaced, Thank you for your very insightful entry about schools and your childrens' experiences. I have been reading school web-sites for the last two days - they are very informative, but it's still hard for me to imagine what they are really like! Thankfully I should be able to visit Cairo in a few weeks to see them for myself.
It's useful to know that art stuff is in short supply - we get through plenty of glitter & glue, so I'll stock up!!
Thanks again
quote:
Originally posted by dandunam:
if you have a specific school in mind, let me know, and i might be able to give you more specific insight. good luck!!
What a kind offer - thank you. I have to prepare a short-list in order to set up some appointments...The three I think look OK from their web-sites are The Brit International School in Zamalek (is that the one you refered to?); Maadi Brit Internat School & New Cairo Brit Int School. I'm guessing the latter is on the ring road as you describe - its address is 'New Cairo' but I can't find that on a map!!
Is it difficult to get across Cairo in the morning to get the kids to school? I don't know where we will be living yet, but guess that might influence our decision about schools?
Thanks again
quote:
Originally posted by dandunam:
. and do bring loads of arts& crafts things, as they are either non-existant here (especially for holiday decorations like christmas and easter), or massively overpriced.
Let me know if you'd like me to bring some Christmas craft stuff over - there's plenty of it around here!!
quote:
Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex:
So maybe ask to see books and school schedule while looking around (I did not) If you don't want Religion Lessons better find out about that...some offer Christian lessons optional.... I didn't think of this. Bring your usual cough syrup and cold medicine products for children also.
Most schools here are 6,000 LE -10,000 LE yr the better private ones popping up. I did not do bus or taxi driver for my children the first year as being a mom in new country this scared me, but this year a mini van from school picks them right up at front door and so far so good... for a fee of about 1,000 LE a year. I'm sure in Cairo the traffic is horrendous so scl bus may be better option.
YOu can find Xmas decors in Alex all over around Dec. I was surprised. It's not going to be Hallmark type though.
This is all great advice, thank you. I will have a brief opportunity to look at some schools, so it's good to have an idea of exactly what to look out for.
Our local Pre-School is selling kids craft supplies to raise money, so I guess I'm going to be their best customer...!
I can understand that you held back from the school bus to begin with - I'm used to waiting in the playground until my kids are safely in class...I suppose these are the sorts of differences you get used to. (btw, don't think I'm being negative...we're all really looking forward to getting there, just trying to be realistic)
Kind Regards
[This message has been edited by maqam (edited 11 October 2005).]
quote:I found when dealing with Arab men, in general, you have to be passive aggressive. You have to make them feel like they're "the man" and boss. Doesn't mean that's what they are. If you play your cards right you can have them kissing your feet.
Originally posted by 1mangang:
I think Egyptian men are funny.
From reading the posts here they like to marry western women and it never works out (or if they are trying to use them). u cant tame western women, especially american, unless she wants to be tamed. I think the egyptian men who try this are very naive. I have heard egyptian women stand up for themselves and can be very bossy. that's different from american woman. American women are the same way except that if you hurt them or use them they will stare at your eyes as they hold you under the water.
Egyptian men, playing with fire.
Only the wind can handle this fire, which is why Western men should stay with Western women, works out better.
quote:Excuse me but...Im a revert...and you make us sound like doormats. Perhaps we obey our husbands more out of religious reasons, but we never allow ourselves to be treated as doormats.
Originally posted by sonomod:
quote:If you marry an American woman you must learn to adjust to our culture as well. At least 20% of the life with her must have an American custom to it.
Originally posted by Koks2005:
Hello all,
this is an interesting conversation,but I want to make some modification in the topic,I am an egyptian man,and I want to ask you now Egyptain men,what do you think about American women?
I want to tell my opinion about most of them or at least those whom i meet,they are very kind and loving and funny....and really really really I would love to marry an american woman one day,I am in love now with one of em,and she is all my life and she is everything for me,plz all you people all over the world ,pray for me,and thank you all
Don't expect her to be Egyptian overnight, don't expect her to give up all her expectations of marriage and love and adapt your expections entirely.
Otherwise marry a revert, they will do anything you tell them to, change completely overnight and think only of your needs.
quote:Im disgusted by your comments. I am a Christian who converted to islam at age 18. Of course I stand up for my religion and assert that it is more truthful than Christianity. But in no way do I hate Christians, and in no way did hatred bring me to Islam.
A revert is a Christain who has had their Shaddah, chosen Islam. Most of the time these new Muslimahs become basically spineless creatures. Believing that they are biologically, spiritual, and intellectual inferiors to men. Plus they hate the west and hate Christainity vehmentally. Just look to our 'Religion' and 'Politics' section of the forum. Hate isn't a virtue of Islam, but this is the only reason that brought these women to Islam. [/QB]
quote:What does it say about him, that he is going around with you while he's married to her.
Originally posted by SherryH:
I met an Egyptian man online...visited him for 3 weeks back in February...fell totally in love with his charm and romantic ways..ahhh but he is married...says he loves me..maybe he does...but I too considered moving to Egypt. Being an American though I've decided I could never adapt to the customs..and I surely don't want to share him with his wife. If I could get him a visa to USA...I wouldn't have to share <IMG SRC="http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/smile.gif"> I loved Egypt....I feel homesick actually for it. I am going back in November...wish me luck...maybe there is a chance for me and the sexy romantic Egyptian
quote:Im sorry but...what kind of a man is this? A Muslim man making his wife work? He cant do that. He's not even considered a man, by other Muslim guys.
Originally posted by tami025:
quote:if he is married to 2 wives then it was permitted by the first wife as it is little known that he must have her permission to marry a second. aslo, egyptian men do love money..its nuts isnt it! i suffer with one. he has a business and is halfway thru construction of his own apartment bldg in cairo, thanks to his tighness, but i had to suffer for it too....he made me work full time til my due date in pregnancy. then 5 weeks later go back full time and he doesnt even help clean the house...i do the husband AND the wifes job and im beat!!!
Originally posted by Catherine_S:
The man I was writing of lives and works in California. He owns his own business. I believe he was born here in the U.S. I am madly in love with him, but he is madly in love with making money, and he is very very good at that.
I also have an Egyptian friend in Saudi Arabia whose father took 2 wives. But he himself said that he isn't going to marry but one woman. He believes that if a man truly loves his wife that he will not marry more than one wife. His mother recently passed. Now his father is with the 2nd wife. IT just seems so unfair.
quote:LMAO. So true. And crying always works.
I found when dealing with Arab men, in general, you have to be passive aggressive. You have to make them feel like they're "the man" and boss. Doesn't mean that's what they are. If you play your cards right you can have them kissing your feet. [/QB]
quote:"Quoted for truth "
Originally posted by cocoapuffs:
Maybe you need to get to know more of us on an individual level. It sounds like you've just read some stuff a few Wahabi reverts posted online and now you think you're an expert on everything. I beg to differ.
quote:LOL Oh yes, crying does the trick every time! I try not to pull the waterworks card on habibi much though. Don't want to dull it's affect
Originally posted by Snoozin:
quote:Yeah, what is it with crying? I *try* not to cry but sometimes can't help it, and it's like I've crushed my fiance...he'll do anything to make me stop......and 99 times out of 100 it's not even about him!
Originally posted by cocoapuffs:
LMAO. So true. And crying always works.![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)