older women dating younger men. Although older men dating younger women has long been socially acceptable (or at least commonplace in many cities), older women are now dating younger men in record numbers. It may be a trend on the upswing: Thanks to higher divorce rates and higher percentages of people who have never married, today 40 percent of the 97 million Americans 45 or older are single. Research on dating habits of these 40-plus singles is sparse, but according to a September 2003 AARP survey of 3,500 older singles, 34 percent of women in the 40-to-69 age group date younger men. And 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger.
According to the AARP survey, respondents cited fun and companionship as the main reasons for dating. Of the respondents -- 56 of whom had been married in the past -- only 8 percent said they were looking for marriage. Nonetheless, more than one in 10 of these relationships leads to marriage: The most recent Census Bureau figures show that in the year 2000, 12 percent of all marriages were between older women and younger men.
Women dating younger men said they appreciated the strength, humor, openness, youth, and passion of their partners. What do the men get? that although some of the attraction may be predicated on the mystique of the older woman, appeal to younger men was based not just on chemistry but on "the luxury of having a finished person. they got great cooking, a settled home, and a bonding of souls.
Whether this kind of romance leads to a happy marriage, of course, may depend on luck or destiny.
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Well it doesn't depend on age, it's about how you get on with each other. I'm the older of the two of us, but he's more sensible! I can't honestly say we look at the age difference, we just enjoy being with each other and that is what counts in my opinion.
Posted by bettyN (Member # 14096) on :
thats great to hear YAH. I thought I would post this as it seems some people think their are other motives involved when a younger man marries or is with a older women. Isn't love the greatest motive?
Posted by kentuckyD (Member # 13076) on :
I believe that people with age differences can have true love but it is very rare. I think that is where the negative comments come in because the odds are more in their favor of being right. When you are the older one, its easy to say that age difference doesnt matter to youuuuu. Im 42 but in my mind I still feel 23 years old. However, when I was 23 I know I would not even look at a man 42 and thats is with the man being older. Hell yea!! I think guys 23 24 25 look damn good and would love the attention and would love to think that they are really attracted to me and love me etc. However I know my hot days are over.HAHA. I would love that for sure. But then just today, a friend of mine who is married to Egyptian, she is 42 like me, he is 24 and now she told him the embassy might homevisit him as they have been doing lately,and they were waiting on his visa to approve. HE FREAKED and emailed her I Divorce you I divorce you, I divorce you. He had told her that his family knew and approved etc.but it was a lie. So stories like this is just a warning, and no it doesnt mean that it is your rare case and I stress rare case. It could be rare, true love. I just hate seeing people get big time hurt so just be careful and acknowledge your age(which I hate to do myself)and make sure. IF you really love the young guy, dont deprive of him children if that is something he wants. My children are my life and I wouldnt want to keep that experience from someone I truely loved. So I am not judging anyone here at all, but dont take those negative comments so harshly, they might just be out of real concern. I pray yours is the rare unusual case and you enjoy your lives together forever. Peoples motives vary, some marry for love some marry for money, some marry for visa. People judge Anna NIcole and saw the age difference and the money and made their opinion on that. People on here see age difference and young men wanting a better chance at life in USA and make their opinion on that because there are those that really do that.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
i myself could never date nor marry a man more then 5 yrs younger then me! i always have liked older men now walid is 4 yrs younger then i am but he is mature at least he is in his 30s i could never myself date someone in their 20's i would feel guilty and wrong!! im not sayin all women should feel like this! but i have a 19 yr old son would i wanna date one of his friends no never it would make me feel like he was my son!
Posted by Reality_Meanie (Member # 14540) on :
quote:Originally posted by kentuckyD: I believe that people with age differences can have true love but it is very rare. I think that is where the negative comments come in because the odds are more in their favor of being right. When you are the older one, its easy to say that age difference doesnt matter to youuuuu. Im 42 but in my mind I still feel 23 years old. However, when I was 23 I know I would not even look at a man 42 and thats is with the man being older. Hell yea!! I think guys 23 24 25 look damn good and would love the attention and would love to think that they are really attracted to me and love me etc. However I know my hot days are over.HAHA. I would love that for sure. But then just today, a friend of mine who is married to Egyptian, she is 42 like me, he is 24 and now she told him the embassy might homevisit him as they have been doing lately,and they were waiting on his visa to approve. HE FREAKED and emailed her I Divorce you I divorce you, I divorce you. He had told her that his family knew and approved etc.but it was a lie. So stories like this is just a warning, and no it doesnt mean that it is your rare case and I stress rare case. It could be rare, true love. I just hate seeing people get big time hurt so just be careful and acknowledge your age(which I hate to do myself)and make sure. IF you really love the young guy, dont deprive of him children if that is something he wants. My children are my life and I wouldnt want to keep that experience from someone I truely loved. So I am not judging anyone here at all, but dont take those negative comments so harshly, they might just be out of real concern. I pray yours is the rare unusual case and you enjoy your lives together forever. Peoples motives vary, some marry for love some marry for money, some marry for visa. People judge Anna NIcole and saw the age difference and the money and made their opinion on that. People on here see age difference and young men wanting a better chance at life in USA and make their opinion on that because there are those that really do that.
This girlfriend of yours, who is aged 42 and the husband 24.
How in the world did his family not know?
They'd have to know how he got into the USA. If he filed for a spousal petition the Egyptian government has to dig up information on him through a background check, Egyptian government collects character references. And he'd have to have relatives to stand in line into order to get the correct paperwork in order.
You think the USA side of the spousal petition is nosy, the Egyptian side of bureaucracy really knows how to get into a person's life!
at age 23 I was dating guys in their late 30s. Guys at least a decade older turn me on. Heck one of the reasons why I continue to live in this neighborhood is because there are so many hot older "salt and pepper" suits to gaze upon.
Guys in their 20s always seemed like rabbid dogs boning on someone's leg. I just cannot imagine what a woman would see in a young guy.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by Reality_Meanie:
quote:Originally posted by kentuckyD: I believe that people with age differences can have true love but it is very rare. I think that is where the negative comments come in because the odds are more in their favor of being right. When you are the older one, its easy to say that age difference doesnt matter to youuuuu. Im 42 but in my mind I still feel 23 years old. However, when I was 23 I know I would not even look at a man 42 and thats is with the man being older. Hell yea!! I think guys 23 24 25 look damn good and would love the attention and would love to think that they are really attracted to me and love me etc. However I know my hot days are over.HAHA. I would love that for sure. But then just today, a friend of mine who is married to Egyptian, she is 42 like me, he is 24 and now she told him the embassy might homevisit him as they have been doing lately,and they were waiting on his visa to approve. HE FREAKED and emailed her I Divorce you I divorce you, I divorce you. He had told her that his family knew and approved etc.but it was a lie. So stories like this is just a warning, and no it doesnt mean that it is your rare case and I stress rare case. It could be rare, true love. I just hate seeing people get big time hurt so just be careful and acknowledge your age(which I hate to do myself)and make sure. IF you really love the young guy, dont deprive of him children if that is something he wants. My children are my life and I wouldnt want to keep that experience from someone I truely loved. So I am not judging anyone here at all, but dont take those negative comments so harshly, they might just be out of real concern. I pray yours is the rare unusual case and you enjoy your lives together forever. Peoples motives vary, some marry for love some marry for money, some marry for visa. People judge Anna NIcole and saw the age difference and the money and made their opinion on that. People on here see age difference and young men wanting a better chance at life in USA and make their opinion on that because there are those that really do that.
This girlfriend of yours, who is aged 42 and the husband 24.
How in the world did his family not know?
They'd have to know how he got into the USA. If he filed for a spousal petition the Egyptian government has to dig up information on him through a background check, Egyptian government collects character references. And he'd have to have relatives to stand in line into order to get the correct paperwork in order.
You think the USA side of the spousal petition is nosy, the Egyptian side of bureaucracy really knows how to get into a person's life!
at age 23 I was dating guys in their late 30s. Guys at least a decade older turn me on. Heck one of the reasons why I continue to live in this neighborhood is because there are so many hot older "salt and pepper" suits to gaze upon.
Guys in their 20s always seemed like rabbid dogs boning on someone's leg. I just cannot imagine what a woman would see in a young guy.
u hit it right on the nose 100%
Posted by TITO-T2 (Member # 14736) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Well it doesn't depend on age, it's about how you get on with each other. I'm the older of the two of us, but he's more sensible! I can't honestly say we look at the age difference, we just enjoy being with each other and that is what counts in my opinion.
that's right YAH it's my opinion too the important thing is how we get on with each other Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
"Guys in their 20s always seemed like rabbid dogs boning on someone's leg."
Posted by TITO-T2 (Member # 14736) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: "Guys in their 20s always seemed like rabbid dogs boning on someone's leg."
u kiding not all of them seemed like rabbid dogs
Posted by bokragirl (Member # 14684) on :
You can raise them how you want! Posted by ***** (Member # 14677) on :
Older man younger woman is acceptable Older woman younger man is unacceptable
Posted by KhrystianA (Member # 13967) on :
Perfectly acceptable and rather commonplace anymore........
Posted by bettyN (Member # 14096) on :
rabbit dogs boning someone's leg??? Never saw a rabbit dog before. That is a unfair statement.
Posted by ky_sunshine (Member # 11226) on :
NO COMMENT!
Posted by MissNoor (Member # 12549) on :
Well look at Osama's son he is 26 and she is 52! Yes, it is not your age but how young your heart is. As for me younger keeps my hormones in check hahaha. Another thing some of these little whipper snapers lie to you about their age. One guy told me he was in his middle 30's then he confessed he was really 26 oh dang I told him see ya later baby!
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
quote:Originally posted by *****: Older man younger woman is acceptable Older woman younger man is unacceptable
Now it's perfectly acceptable! Women look after themselves, keeping fit, etc. Life has changed from days gone by Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 14590) on :
My first relationship was with a much older woman. I was 21; she was 39.
I think I got a lot from the relationship - she taught me how to be a man, not a child and how to please a woman. I would never have learned such lessons if I had been dating an 18 year old.
We probably both knew that it was never going to last forever, but we were together for 18 months, which I think is good going.
Now I am 43 which means that she is 61. We still exchange emails every now and again, which is nice.
Now I have a girlfriend who is 26 and I am the one who is the teacher.
It's the circle of life.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
wow ur one of the lucky ones is she egyptian?
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 14590) on :
No, she was from the Dominican Republic, but a US citizen as her father was the US Ambassador to the US at one time.
She actually dated Muhammed Ali at one time!
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
well since my sons gf is 11 yrs older should i accept it and go on or keep denying her ? its so hard to decide how i should feel as a mother!! i have no right to decide someones future but hes my son im scared he will screw up his life with her!! he planned on goin to college but not hes rasin her 2 kids hes only 19 she quit her job how is a 19 yr old suppose to support a woman and 2 kids alone? he called to appoligize for all he said to me but how am i suppose to feel i will love him regardless!!
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Tina, The more you react against her, the more he will try to prove you wrong. My dad was at University when he met my mum, he was 18 she was 32, they married 10 years later. They were married for 37 years, Only my mum passing away ended the marriage, he died 13 months later, broken hearted. His mother was very against them and she lost out cause my dad chose my mum.
Posted by Isis84 (Member # 14716) on :
Tina - my parents were very much against my sister's much older boyfriend - when they finally accepted it she broke up with him after 3 months admitting that my parents' resentment made her push for it before ...
So it may be better to support him, be there for him and he will realize himself if this relationship is good for him ...
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
i understand what yal are sayin my head keeps sayin hell no never cas hes my baby and always will be!! maybe im a jealous mom i dont know but the idea of him bein with her makes me sick!!! i dont care if other people do it or if he wanted to be with an older lady just y couldnt he wait till his baby fat was gone!! in other words she should have respected my wishes until he was 22 or 23 i wouldnt have minded it but he has no experiences!!none i asked her nicly to wait a few yrs til he is older!!she said i swear i will and thats exactly what i was tellin him well if she was tellin him y didnt she freakin do it im not as mad as i was but not sure if i wanna except her!! when he lived here and they were dating i did not mind cas i controlled his drinking and drugs!!i did not allow it now shes lettin him drink and smoke pot and she does it with him!! what example will that be for her 2 kids? im still mad dont get me wrong!! shes just not good enough for him
Posted by Isis84 (Member # 14716) on :
Tina, I understand you completely and probably I would be very mad too in your situation.
However, by not accepting her you may push him further away and only more under her influence ... this is what happened to my sister - she just didn't want to come home as often as before and didn't believe that my parents had her best interest at heart ...
All of that was probably good for me - they didn't object to my Egyptian husband at all and they are very supportive all the time Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Just be there for him Tina, that's the best advice I can give. Things run there course eventually, just make sure he uses protection, otherwise he will be tied to her for a life time one way or another!
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
thats the truth!!he says he took a test and he can have kids!! then the next week he said she thought she was preganant and he said he uses protection!! he has lied so much!!! what am i suppose to think !!he is not ready for kids much less kids almost his age!!!
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 14590) on :
Tina, please try to relax. Young at heart's parents' story is very much the exception.
I told you my story - it is more typical, I think. We had 18 months of fun together, but we were at different stages of our life. If your son is 19 he will soon get tired of being so responsible when all of his friends have an easy life and are having fun.
I am 95% sure that he will find himself a 'normal' girl after a while.
Dating an older woman with kids is very had work, even for a more mature guy.
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Austin, I appreciate what you are saying. I'm just pointing out that the more she shows her displeasure to the relationship, the more he'll go with it. I know my parents relationship was the exception, but because my gran was so against my dad being with my mum, she ruined her relationship with my dad, missed what would have been a lovely friendship with my mum and what should have been a lovely time with her granddaughter. I guess I'm just saying what's meant to be will be.
Posted by mizo (Member # 13893) on :
Iam 33 years old and she is 47
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
yes but yr mature man hes still a boy!!! yr ages are fine if he was 22 or 23 i would not mine!!he just finished high school a few months before he met her!!i see that wrong!!!
Posted by Pink cherry (Member # 13979) on :
You are all talking about younger guys 'marrying' older women.
But have any of you considered the older male, falling for an older woman. Their experience of life is so different to the younger one,Their expectations and out look on life are so different. There just may be a good mix to develop a relationship....
Just a thought..........
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
well my last boyfriend was 50 when i was 26 we got along for many years he didnt want nomore kids so i left!!we are now really good friends!!
like i said i never dated a younger man before walid is my first!
Posted by ky_sunshine (Member # 11226) on :
My husband was Younger he as 26 and I am 41
Posted by Sashyra8 (Member # 14488) on :
quote:Originally posted by ky_sunshine: My husband was Younger he as 26 and I am 41
Is this the one you wanna smash his head hard,then? Posted by ky_sunshine (Member # 11226) on :
Yes Posted by mizo (Member # 13893) on :
i dont thing if the man married old women that ringht bc i do that befor and it didnt work yes i love her very much but i see she is not happy and iam not happy bc alot of thing
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Sometimes it can be a problem when one partner is older admittedly, but it can be a whole lot of factors.It depends where each partner is in their lives, my ex was older than me but it was like living with a sulky teenager, when he didn't get his own way! It's about their personality first and foremost.
Posted by sherry_keith (Member # 14723) on :
I have alot of friends here in the states that they have married younger men from an age of 10 to 14 years, who are american men, and are happy and content after many years of marriage. So I think that the younger man/older woman is more universal than egptian men. I have known other women that been hoodwink by younger american men.
Posted by Bastet*Loves*Ptah (Member # 13948) on :
quote:Originally posted by sherry_keith: I have alot of friends here in the states that they have married younger men from an age of 10 to 14 years, who are american men, and are happy and content after many years of marriage. So I think that the younger man/older woman is more universal than egptian men. I have known other women that been hoodwink by younger american men.
The difference is cultural.
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
I could not imagine to date or even marry someone way younger or older than I am. My husband and I are almost seven years apart (he's older) and I think it's good like that. The other serious relationship I was in the man was four years older than I am. I do hope to grow old with my husband and won't ever face the issue to date anyone again; I am just happy as things are right now. Posted by bettyN (Member # 14096) on :
BLP - a cultural thing? Mohammed had a wife 25 years older Khadega wasn't that her name? Guess you not muslim.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: BLP - a cultural thing? Mohammed had a wife 25 years older Khadega wasn't that her name? Guess you not muslim.
Khadijah was 15 years older. He was 25 she was 40
Posted by Isis84 (Member # 14716) on :
I just remembered today what a friend (who is a doctor) told us this:
Because men and women age differently (she said scientifically proven) - men of course faster than women and married women faster than unmarried ones and married men slower than unmarried ones - the best formula for a woman to have a man of similar vitality when they are old is: marry the one who is half of your age + 7 years
Hm, have I made a mistake marrying a guy older than me? Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
oooooooooooooooo my god everyone was right about my son i need to go and do my taxes so when i come i will tel yal what happened!!im sooooo happy now
Posted by ***** (Member # 14677) on :
Each 2 their own, personally I don't like older woman younger man, maybe becos I have a son and shudder at the thought of even thinking of his friends in anyway, they all think I am their 2nd mom, I am married so no need 2 entertain such things.
Posted by Bastet*Loves*Ptah (Member # 13948) on :
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: BLP - a cultural thing? Mohammed had a wife 25 years older Khadega wasn't that her name? Guess you not muslim.
Yea I guess not. Posted by yorkshire rose (Member # 12072) on :
There is no age difference in love.
Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
When there is a age-difference, there is a age difference, also in love. And surely on long term you will mention the conseuqences of it. In the beginning you are in love, don't mention anything, but a little later, when the pink glasses are off, and reality appears, ppl will mention... Maybe they are able to handle it, maybe not. But surely they'll mention!!!!
Posted by Bastet*Loves*Ptah (Member # 13948) on :
I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point.
Posted by yorkshire rose (Member # 12072) on :
Wow good answer BLP, so true.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
well my son called me the other day and he said he could not handle bein the father and husband kinda guy go figure!!!i told them he is too young!now he is home and she is heart broken!!she cried to me how much a good guy he is and she loves him soo much i told her before he moved in with her that i would not last cas mentaly he is still a boy and they should not do it!!but the didnt head my warning!!now she has quit her job to go back to school and he would support them!! well he left and she has no means of supporting her 3 kids!!what kind of 32 yr old woman would be this stupid to depend on a boy to support them??i guess it takes all kind of women!! well she is hoping they get back togeather and he has no intentions of this! he wants to go to college this fall in marshalltown i pray he does wanna really do this so he can make somethin of his self and not be another white american looser!!! i only want what is best for my son as does all of u who has kids but there is so much a mom can teach their kids i must let him make his own mistakes. he told me he doesnt wanna date no more!!i said u can date just dont rush ur 19 u have yr whole life!! now he has met a wonderful woman online i hope she will give him some good advice and can help him keep track of himself!! you know who u are girl yr the kindest woman i have met in so long and ur a fear friend!! he enjoys yr chats and he says yr a beautiful woman and i really appreciate that yal can enjoy eachothers chats!!love ya for that!!yes she is here on es!! but i wont allow my son in thsi forum!!! he really likes vaders comments my son thinks yr funny and cool!! well im happy now he is home and can start doin what is right for him!!
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
Wonderful news, tina, you see it took your son some time to realize what he really gotten himself into. I am glad that he mentions he wants to go off to study!! Posted by yorkshire rose (Member # 12072) on :
Good luck for your son huni hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Wonderful news, tina, you see it took your son some time to realize what he really gotten himself into. I am glad that he mentions he wants to go off to study!!
thanks sweety im excited finally he realizes hes a boy and not a man mentaly he thinks with the wrong head sometimes!!!
Posted by J.D. (Member # 9121) on :
Older women are wiser and more stable, i think most young women are not stable these days or may be it was just a bad experience for me i cant generalize but i don't mind at all getting married to an older woman. Age is just a number.
Posted by yorkshire rose (Member # 12072) on :
Yes it is JD
Posted by didi_elsayed (Member # 4763) on :
Hye im so glad to hear that for your son Tina..its good for him to go off to study,he is just 19 and he needs to have a good start in life..he is too young to go live & support this woman..and her 3 kids.I have no doubts that she loved him....but how can you make a teenager to take care of your kids..when he isnt mature enough for this huge step.He need to live his life right now..to realise what he wants,to realise what he really needs to do..and to make some important desicions about his own future.If he was 29 maybe she could have some hopes in him of being ready to support her...but even mature man will have some doubts in rising someone else`s kids..and what about 19 years old boy! Even if he is kind and smart boy...he is not ready for all these obligations..and 3 kids isnt playing!I`m also glad that he realised theres no chance in this relationship..he just need sometime alone..to get along..life goes on and he is so young!Everything will be fine i believe! Good luck to him ! Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bastet*Loves*Ptah: I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point.
I shouldn't name it like that. Cosmetic surgery wouldn't be that big when women shouldn't make an issue about how they look. I think almost every woman would like to look as good as they think they are on the inside. Nobody likes to be overweighted, have grey hair, a lot of wrinkles, or bodyparts that are liable to the law of the gravitation...
Posted by marshmellow (Member # 14680) on :
quote:Originally posted by J.D.: Older women are wiser and more stable, i think most young women are not stable these days or may be it was just a bad experience for me i cant generalize but i don't mind at all getting married to an older woman. Age is just a number.
Anyone would be older and wiser to you, I'm certain of this. And really, you calling anyone unstable is like calling the kettle black!
I have no issues with age. It's not age that matters...it's maturity. It's people that do not run from responsibility and take charge of their own life instead of blaming everything that happens on someone else.
Posted by yorkshire rose (Member # 12072) on :
Marshmellow r u having some issue with JD? Yes Maturity is very important for sure?
Posted by marshmellow (Member # 14680) on :
I say we ask dear ol' JD to answer that question. My guess is that he won't. I'd be happy to. Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
I have to say just because you get older doesn't mean, you think less of your appearance. We all want to look our best, being with a younger man, I think makes me make a bigger effort because I want to look the best I can for him. I would say it makes me less complacent.
Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: I have to say just because you get older doesn't mean, you think less of your appearance. We all want to look our best, being with a younger man, I think makes me make a bigger effort because I want to look the best I can for him. I would say it makes me less complacent.
Do you think you would pay less attention to your appearance when you should be in love with a man that was more 'your age' ?
You're saying it makes you make bigger effort, because he is younger. That means you don't want to look older then him... Something, deep inside of you, doesn't like the fact that people should notice you are older, or he is younger. That's why you are doing your very best to look as young as possible. Why, do you think you do this? Because of these other people? Because of him? Or because of yourself?
Think about it...
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Funny I knew that would be the response! It's hard to explain ?????. I went through a difficult time a few years back and my appearance took a back seat. I had always been into nice clothes, makeup etc. I looked in the mirror one day and didn't like the way I looked, this was before I was with him. So I started exercising, taking an interest in myself again. That made me feel better and more confident. I don't look like mutton dressed as lamb, I would like to think I'll know how to grow old gracefully! I would have to say that yes him being younger has a bit of an affect. But not in a bad way, I am very secure in our relationship and know how he feels about me and that I have never felt pressure from him to be anything other than who I am. I certainly will not go down the plastic surgery route, I'm too much of a coward! I fel more confortable in myself now than I did in my 20's.
Posted by Makbeta (Member # 14401) on :
Of course it's OK - as long as the man isn't young enough to be your son (or old enough to be your father, for that matter). But I DO know that some women can't bear the thought of marrying a man even a couple of years younger than themselves. For me it doesn't matter. Marriage is a bit like lottery anyway.
Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Funny I knew that would be the response! It's hard to explain ?????. I went through a difficult time a few years back and my appearance took a back seat. I had always been into nice clothes, makeup etc. I looked in the mirror one day and didn't like the way I looked, this was before I was with him. So I started exercising, taking an interest in myself again. That made me feel better and more confident. I don't look like mutton dressed as lamb, I would like to think I'll know how to grow old gracefully! I would have to say that yes him being younger has a bit of an affect. But not in a bad way, I am very secure in our relationship and know how he feels about me and that I have never felt pressure from him to be anything other than who I am. I certainly will not go down the plastic surgery route, I'm too much of a coward! I fel more confortable in myself now than I did in my 20's.
It's natural to feel more comfortable, most women feel so. It is okay, of course, but at the same time it is dangerous. I don't know how much you are into groups of young people.... I train them, so that's why I know... at the same time you feel comfortable and more selfassured, at that same time many of that young people have an opinion about you. The funny thing in this is that they feel more safe when you look as their mother, their aunt, etc.....older! They expect you to look and behave like that. You are older, so behave like an elderly woman, kind of that...They don't feel comfortable with another attitude as that your age tells them it would be the right attitude.... And that is very strange! It proves that we all are placing people in kind of boxes with 'age'and 'attitide'on it... I don't want to take away your selfesteem, or your feeling about yourself, but try to figure out how people are looking at you... It's interesting!
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Actually most of my friends are my age and older. I'm not someone that is hanging around nightclubs (not my kind of thing, or other halfs!) pretending to be 20 something and trying to be 'pals' with the young things. I have never been aware of being looked at in any other way but as me. I am neither a mother or an aunt and I am certainly not going to behave elderly (whatever that means!) I maybe older but I'm no where near drawing my pension! Yes people are being placed in boxes because of age and that can never be right. When my mum died, there was a murmur from the church congregation, when the minister mentioned her age, she was 78, but looked 68, if not younger, she just looked after herself, my dad as I've said here before was 14 years younger than her. She had a love of life and got on so well with people of all ages like I do. My self esteem is fine and If I follow in my mums footsteps I'll be very proud.
Posted by Reality_Meanie (Member # 14540) on :
quote:Originally posted by J.D.: Older women are wiser and more stable, i think most young women are not stable these days or may be it was just a bad experience for me i cant generalize but i don't mind at all getting married to an older woman. Age is just a number.
Would you walk down your family's street and introduce this older woman to everyone you know? Could you live with this older woman in the same neighborhood you grew up in?
Young women these days are alot more stable and mature than they were 20 years ago. But this applies to the west not the Arab world. For the idiots in Eastern Europe; Paris, Nicole, Lindsey and Britney are not your typical American young women so get that out of your head fast.
Then again the women of your mother's generation 20 years ago had to be more stable and independant than young women of Egypt today. Recovering from the 68' and 73' war forced young women to make choices that young women today don't have to make.
Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
Eastern-Europe idiots..... Ever had an issue with somebody from Eastern-Europe, RM? This is as ridiculous as thinking Paris, Britney and all these other bimbo's are typical American...
Posted by Reality_Meanie (Member # 14540) on :
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: BLP - a cultural thing? Mohammed had a wife 25 years older Khadega wasn't that her name? Guess you not muslim.
It was an exceptional relationship that endured alot of social consequences.
The Final Prophet (PBUH) and his wife endured alot of ridicule because of the age difference and because he was an orphan, she was quite wealthy.
His ability to withstand social pariah-hood of his misfit marriage defined his entrance as a Prophet.
Khadija and the Final Prophet's marriage was bizarre and unacceptable in Arab bedion culture, moreso since Khadija hadn't had children in previous marriage.
Posted by Reality_Meanie (Member # 14540) on :
quote:Originally posted by ?????: Eastern-Europe idiots..... Ever had an issue with somebody from Eastern-Europe, RM? This is as ridiculous as thinking Paris, Britney and all these other bimbo's are typical American...
what I had stated was "idiots in Eastern Europe".
I've noticed a increase in references to the bimbos of Hollywood when a Eastern European is discussing the USA or American women.
Yes I've had issues with people from Eastern Europe, and Africa, India, East Asia.
There is such a bizarre convoluted view of the US that Eastern Europeans have possibly due to the "human trafficing trade" for the sex industry. Pushers and pimps promise girls the chance to be Britney, Lindsey and Paris as part of their promotional package.
Women from Africa, India and East Asia see the benefits of residency/citizenship in the USA in regards to education, infastructure, career advancements, personal freedom; but not a chance to be the next Britney Spears! Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
Yeah, that happens, I know. As also women from Africa and South-America, the poor countries... As also children are used to make illegal movies... As also they are offered as part of a one-package deal in the touristic area's in Turkey and Egypt... India, do you what happens in India???? In all countries where poverty is the norm, these things happen. And all countries that are acting on a higher income level, are 'the market'. As Western Europe. As the United States. As Canada and Australia. Humanity still is able to do horrible things, and it proves that we are not as civilised as we claim to be...
Posted by newcomer (Member # 1056) on :
quote:Originally posted by Reality_Meanie:
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: Mohammed had a wife 25 years older Khadega wasn't that her name?
It was an exceptional relationship that endured alot of social consequences.
The Final Prophet (PBUH) and his wife endured alot of ridicule because of the age difference and because he was an orphan, she was quite wealthy.
His ability to withstand social pariah-hood of his misfit marriage defined his entrance as a Prophet.
Khadija and the Final Prophet's marriage was bizarre and unacceptable in Arab bedion culture, moreso since Khadija hadn't had children in previous marriage.
There is not one shred of evidence for any of these assertions; they should all therefore be disregarded.
There was roughly 15 years difference between their ages.
Not only was the Prophet (peace be upon him) highly regarded for his character and family prior to his marriage to Khadijah, his marriage to her improved his social status as she was a wealthy, well-respected business woman, also from a good family, who was devoted to and dearly loved by her husband.
Their marriage was not ridiculed by anyone, not even his enemies.
Khadijah had at least three sons by her first husband: Hind, Tahir, and Halah.
Posted by elizabethN (Member # 14096) on :
that's what my husband says too. What reality said was soooooooooooo not true
Posted by M_A_Z_E_N (Member # 14409) on :
Old is gold.
Posted by Reality_Meanie (Member # 14540) on :
quote:Originally posted by newcomer:
quote:Originally posted by Reality_Meanie:
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: Mohammed had a wife 25 years older Khadega wasn't that her name?
It was an exceptional relationship that endured alot of social consequences.
The Final Prophet (PBUH) and his wife endured alot of ridicule because of the age difference and because he was an orphan, she was quite wealthy.
His ability to withstand social pariah-hood of his misfit marriage defined his entrance as a Prophet.
Khadija and the Final Prophet's marriage was bizarre and unacceptable in Arab bedion culture, moreso since Khadija hadn't had children in previous marriage.
There is not one shred of evidence for any of these assertions; they should all therefore be disregarded.
There was roughly 15 years difference between their ages.
Not only was the Prophet (peace be upon him) highly regarded for his character and family prior to his marriage to Khadijah, his marriage to her improved his social status as she was a wealthy, well-respected business woman, also from a good family, who was devoted to and dearly loved by her husband.
Their marriage was not ridiculed by anyone, not even his enemies.
Khadijah had at least three sons by her first husband: Hind, Tahir, and Halah.
My "assertions" are wrong according to you.
Show me in the Quran where its stated that their marriage wasn't ridiculed?
There are so many reverts who want to pretend that the Final Prophet did not face any form of social ostracization from the tribes of Arabia. Few details in the Quran will shed light on how the Final Prophet was percieved by non-believers, why should it?
By the way Khadijah had a second husband Ateeq ibn `Aaith, are you aware of her children with Ateeq?
Newcomer you don't know Arabic, you are not an academic scholar who has studied the sources which recount the events during the lifetime of the Final Prophet.
But hey why shouldn't I take the word of an anonymous stranger on the internet over acredited scholars who have spent a lifetime studying Arab history, Islamic studies and the life of the Final Prophet himself.
Preferably I'll put my support behind someone who has dedicated their life to this field of research and study, not an anonymous character on the internet.
Especially when you had the views of young Arab women and Arab societal norms as you have. Remember the 7 page thread over the Eid attacks?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by Reality_Meanie: My "assertions" are wrong according to you.
Show me in the Quran where its stated that their marriage wasn't ridiculed?
There are so many reverts who want to pretend that the Final Prophet did not face any form of social ostracization from the tribes of Arabia. Few details in the Quran will shed light on how the Final Prophet was percieved by non-believers, why should it?
By the way Khadijah had a second husband Ateeq ibn `Aaith, are you aware of her children with Ateeq?
Newcomer you don't know Arabic, you are not an academic scholar who has studied the sources which recount the events during the lifetime of the Final Prophet.
But hey why shouldn't I take the word of an anonymous stranger on the internet over acredited scholars who have spent a lifetime studying Arab history, Islamic studies and the life of the Final Prophet himself.
Preferably I'll put my support behind someone who has dedicated their life to this field of research and study, not an anonymous character on the internet.
Especially when you had the views of young Arab women and Arab societal norms as you have. Remember the 7 page thread over the Eid attacks?
Khadijah was married 3 times, the first husband is the one she has 3 sons with, the second husband was Ateeq ibn `Aaidh. The only other sons she had were the prophet Muhammed's 2 sons that died, the rest of her children were daughters. Muhammed married her when she was 40 and he was 25, 15 years before his prophethood started.
Sono, please get your facts right, you cant change history just by insisting you are right on ES. If you are studying accredited scholars, then you should actually read what they say. If they are saying she was 25 years older and their marriage was ridiculed, and that she had sons by her second husband, then you should post which scholars and where you got that wrong information from, not be shouting for proof from Quran to refute your 'assertions' which are obviously faulty.
Posted by steampower (Member # 14048) on :
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: older women dating younger men. Although older men dating younger women has long been socially acceptable (or at least commonplace in many cities), older women are now dating younger men in record numbers. It may be a trend on the upswing: Thanks to higher divorce rates and higher percentages of people who have never married, today 40 percent of the 97 million Americans 45 or older are single. Research on dating habits of these 40-plus singles is sparse, but according to a September 2003 AARP survey of 3,500 older singles, 34 percent of women in the 40-to-69 age group date younger men. And 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger.
According to the AARP survey, respondents cited fun and companionship as the main reasons for dating. Of the respondents -- 56 of whom had been married in the past -- only 8 percent said they were looking for marriage. Nonetheless, more than one in 10 of these relationships leads to marriage: The most recent Census Bureau figures show that in the year 2000, 12 percent of all marriages were between older women and younger men.
Women dating younger men said they appreciated the strength, humor, openness, youth, and passion of their partners. What do the men get? that although some of the attraction may be predicated on the mystique of the older woman, appeal to younger men was based not just on chemistry but on "the luxury of having a finished person. they got great cooking, a settled home, and a bonding of souls.
Whether this kind of romance leads to a happy marriage, of course, may depend on luck or destiny.
If an higher number of older women date younger men and everyone dates one person at time we will see an increase in the number of older man dating younger women since we have more or less the same number of men and women.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by steampower:
quote:Originally posted by bettyN: older women dating younger men. Although older men dating younger women has long been socially acceptable (or at least commonplace in many cities), older women are now dating younger men in record numbers. It may be a trend on the upswing: Thanks to higher divorce rates and higher percentages of people who have never married, today 40 percent of the 97 million Americans 45 or older are single. Research on dating habits of these 40-plus singles is sparse, but according to a September 2003 AARP survey of 3,500 older singles, 34 percent of women in the 40-to-69 age group date younger men. And 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger.
According to the AARP survey, respondents cited fun and companionship as the main reasons for dating. Of the respondents -- 56 of whom had been married in the past -- only 8 percent said they were looking for marriage. Nonetheless, more than one in 10 of these relationships leads to marriage: The most recent Census Bureau figures show that in the year 2000, 12 percent of all marriages were between older women and younger men.
Women dating younger men said they appreciated the strength, humor, openness, youth, and passion of their partners. What do the men get? that although some of the attraction may be predicated on the mystique of the older woman, appeal to younger men was based not just on chemistry but on "the luxury of having a finished person. they got great cooking, a settled home, and a bonding of souls.
Whether this kind of romance leads to a happy marriage, of course, may depend on luck or destiny.
If an higher number of older women date younger men and everyone dates one person at time we will see an increase in the number of older man dating younger women since we have more or less the same number of men and women.
Thats been going on forever!! and no one gave a damn about that. It still goes on now and all you get is men saying 'lucky sod' to the old boy. Posted by amrssnowangel (Member # 6789) on :
My younger SO and I have talked in depth about our age difference and how it could impact our lives later down the road. He will be much younger in my end years...his theory is that if he became gravely ill or in accident in 10 years..would I just leave him? Isn't marriage a commitment between two people to stay together for better or worse? Through all that life brings? I'd never enter into marriage with a younger man with blinders on. All younger men will have some maturing to do of some sort...and their life experiences aren't what an older woman would have. The key is in both being willing and able to accept this difference. for the older woman not to "mother" him. Let him learn...let him live. Its his choice to take your experiences and learn from them...but an older woman has to be willing to allow him his time to grown and learn lifes lessons as he normally would in any loving marriage. Just my opinion. It works for us...thats all I can say.
Posted by MICKY A (Member # 11209) on :
quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: My younger SO and I have talked in depth about our age difference and how it could impact our lives later down the road. He will be much younger in my end years...his theory is that if he became gravely ill or in accident in 10 years..would I just leave him? Isn't marriage a commitment between two people to stay together for better or worse? Through all that life brings? I'd never enter into marriage with a younger man with blinders on. All younger men will have some maturing to do of some sort...and their life experiences aren't what an older woman would have. The key is in both being willing and able to accept this difference. for the older woman not to "mother" him. Let him learn...let him live. Its his choice to take your experiences and learn from them...but an older woman has to be willing to allow him his time to grown and learn lifes lessons as he normally would in any loving marriage. Just my opinion. It works for us...thats all I can say.
very nicely put.i feel the same way. ;)thank you for your opinion
Posted by amrssnowangel (Member # 6789) on :
[/qb][/QUOTE]very nicely put.i feel the same way. ;)thank you for your opinion [/QB][/QUOTE]
Thank you. I think its all a matter of what one is willing to do/can do and what one is not willing to do. Thats why some can handle age gap relationships while others can not. If you find someone compatible...thats what counts first..that solid foundation. My body may be 43...but my heart, soul, beliefs, values and personality have no age... Ilove my younger man. He's more mature in alot of ways than I am. Keeps me focused and my feet on the ground. And he is a good hearted man. He has great morals and values..never has asked for money..never has disrespected me by being alone with me...never has laid a hand on me...never has insisted on moving to usa..never talks about visa....never talks about better opportunities here.....he woulnd't even look at a pair of panty hose i was selling on ebay because it was modeled on a womans legs...stated its not his right...only I am as his wife. If Im sick he sits with me...If im sad he makes me laugh...we share same interests..and he'd be the first to tell you Im like a little girl...sooooo...it works...for us....
Posted by MICKY A (Member # 11209) on :
you sound like you are married to my husband :)we are only 8 years difference but he is and acts older then me . i call him my old fart, he just laughs
Posted by elizabethN (Member # 14096) on :
steampower I thought I remember hearing that their are more women on earth then men. So we out number them. How do you analysis that now? Just curious cause enjoyed your post. Posted by elizabethN (Member # 14096) on :
it is sooooooooooooo hard not to mother anyone for me. It's my nature being half italian.
Posted by amrssnowangel (Member # 6789) on :
quote:Originally posted by elizabethN: it is sooooooooooooo hard not to mother anyone for me. It's my nature being half italian.
Well I feel that if a couple are happy with the wife being the "mothering" type...then thats their business...as long as they are happy. But not all men want mothered...but when you think about it...lol...aren't ALL wives mothers to their husbands a bit? What do moms do? Cook, clean, care for, give emotional support, guide, give advice...and more...is that not what we do for our husbands??
Posted by elizabethN (Member # 14096) on :
exactly.
Posted by elizabethN (Member # 14096) on :
Desperate housewives turn Egypt upside down Young Arab men fall for, marry older, foreign, wealthy tourists
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted: March 20, 2007 1:00 am Eastern
Wealthy Western tourists are attracted to the ancient ruins of Luxor, Egypt. Muslim clerics around the world preach against the temptations of the West ? meaning movies, music, television and other cultural influences.
But some in Egypt worry about a more direct threat to their social structure and traditions ? older, foreign, wealthy, female tourists who are dazzling their young men and stealing their hearts.
In other words, real-life "Desperate Housewives" are invading the nation of the pyramids and turning the country upside down.
Authorities in the city of Luxor, where some 40 percent of young men are married to Western women, recently launched a new campaign designed to provide incentives to stick with local women.
Dr. Samir Faraj, who heads the Luxor municipality, explained to Al Sharq Al Awsat the main reason behind the marriages of young Egyptian men and the aging westerners ? including many in their 40s and 50s ? is for financial security.
Luxor is one of several Upper Egyptian cities struggling with poverty. But it also attracts tourists from across the world to its ancient ruins. Egypt last year drew an estimated 9 million tourists.
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Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
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