Hi everyone I have been reading posts for a while now, just decided to registar and ask you guys and gals some questions and opinions.
Just wondered what you thought bout my relation ship with my egyptian man.
We met November 19th 2007 while i was on a nile cruise with my family. I spotted him working in the bar, we smiled at each other and this went on for a few days after which time another guy on the boat decided to ask me out and i said no. When he asked why i told him that i liked his friend. He told his friend and then after this we began to chat between his work. Just general questions really, then i gave him my mobile number.
He waited for a day and then we began texting as he cant have any relationships with guests while working so we did it on the quiet.
We got on well and i decided to stay in egypt for longer than one week. Now by the 2nd week he told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Just to clear one thing up. i am 27 and he is 32 so no huge age gap, just incase anyone is wondering
Anyway, what was making it so hard was that he works 42 days and then has 2 weeks hols but this was too difficult for us so i asked him to leave his job while we rented a flat and he could get another job so i could see him. He did do this but he told me that he needed to give his mum some money as he did when he worked and now he had none so i helped him with this.
Basically the story goes on and i am with him 6 months later. sometimes in the uk(on my own to visit family) and sometimes with him but everyone thinks he is using me for a meal ticket?
He still is not working but has been having driving lessons so that he can work as a taxi driver which yes, i paid for. I have also been paying the rent on the flat and for food.
He asked me if i would marry him and he also asked if i would buy a flat in egypt for us to live in.
Then he asked for some kind of company for us to work in which again i would buy.
Does this seem fishy?. I just cant get my head around it. We have such a laugh together, we get on well, great love life, he is so attentive to me, always saying he loves me etc, never gets mad with me and never hurts me.
I have met his family alot of times, especially his mum and sisters and all his friends. He wants a wedding at the embassy and then a party after to show me off
Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think?
Posted by justvisiting (Member # 14989) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: What do u think?
Right about now I'm thinking user, loser, and abuser - doesn't matter whether he's Egyptian or not.
Posted by foreignluvr (Member # 5854) on :
Yeah, I think he could very well be using you.
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
i assume u think that cause of money?
Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
sorry, i shouldn't be that way...i really like that song, tho!
how do you feel? do you think he's using you? what is your body telling you? do you feel anxious or nervous when you think about it? does your stomach turn and you want to throw up when he asks for money? or do you feel confident and calm? could be he's using you for money, could be he loves you and it's a bonus for him that you have money to give him and he's trying to build a future for the two of you...i'm sure most people here will think he's using you...i can't say, but it doesn't sound too promising. Posted by Almaz. (Member # 14025) on :
Fishy??? what do YOU think? It STINKS IMO!!
Sorry to bust your bubble, but people that give people money, so easily, do encourage procrastination, and that leads to corruption, most of the time.
RUN girl, RUN
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
yeah i know what u mean, guess what u say is right, just feel a fool cause when we r together it feels so good but then people tell me they r experts at talking the talk
walkingathinline - is a nice song too, i aint offended lol
Posted by samegy (Member # 15090) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: Hi everyone I have been reading posts for a while now, just decided to registar and ask you guys and gals some questions and opinions.
Just wondered what you thought bout my relation ship with my egyptian man.
We met November 19th 2007 while i was on a nile cruise with my family. I spotted him working in the bar, we smiled at each other and this went on for a few days after which time another guy on the boat decided to ask me out and i said no. When he asked why i told him that i liked his friend. He told his friend and then after this we began to chat between his work. Just general questions really, then i gave him my mobile number.
He waited for a day and then we began texting as he cant have any relationships with guests while working so we did it on the quiet.
We got on well and i decided to stay in egypt for longer than one week. Now by the 2nd week he told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Just to clear one thing up. i am 27 and he is 32 so no huge age gap, just incase anyone is wondering
Anyway, what was making it so hard was that he works 42 days and then has 2 weeks hols but this was too difficult for us so i asked him to leave his job while we rented a flat and he could get another job so i could see him. He did do this but he told me that he needed to give his mum some money as he did when he worked and now he had none so i helped him with this.
Basically the story goes on and i am with him 6 months later. sometimes in the uk(on my own to visit family) and sometimes with him but everyone thinks he is using me for a meal ticket?
He still is not working but has been having driving lessons so that he can work as a taxi driver which yes, i paid for. I have also been paying the rent on the flat and for food.
He asked me if i would marry him and he also asked if i would buy a flat in egypt for us to live in.
Then he asked for some kind of company for us to work in which again i would buy.
Does this seem fishy?. I just cant get my head around it. We have such a laugh together, we get on well, great love life, he is so attentive to me, always saying he loves me etc, never gets mad with me and never hurts me.
I have met his family alot of times, especially his mum and sisters and all his friends. He wants a wedding at the embassy and then a party after to show me off
Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think?
From what I read, I think your instincts are already telling you the answers, yet you are trying to use your brain to rationalize that what he is asking you may be okay. Well, it isn't. The fact that he asked you to buy an apartment bothers me. A good Egyptian man (or from any ethnic background anyway) wouldn't ask you to buy anything for him. If you want to be sure whether he is trying to take advantage of him, simply tell him that you will not buy anything and you will know for sure by his reaction. Follow your instincts, dear and good luck to you.
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
well i have tried to tackle him on this, basically i said i wanted to live in uk not egypt and which he said yes to. He said he would work and give me half, so we pay half each, also i should tell him until then he starts working again and pays his own way
Posted by samegy (Member # 15090) on :
The principle of him asking you is just not right. You are not married and you are buying an apartment together? I don't know. Test him and you will know for sure. As I said, follow your instincts.
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
Topic: Am i blinded by love?
YES YOU ARE.
Just screw and get rid off of him. Enjoy it while it lasts and keep the money in your pockets.
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
Reb, would you accept this kind of behaviour from a British man? If not, then don't accept it from him. No difference.
Unemployment is THE major social problem in Egypt, he would not have given up his job unless he was sure he had a meal ticket, which you are providing for him now. And how long does it take to learn to drive? The whole story doesn't add up.
What does he do when you are working? Sit in the home you provide? Spend your money on food? Still giving his mother YOUR money? He is KEPT man, and making very little effort to be otherwise.
Posted by With a name like Smuckers (Member # 10289) on :
You don't love him, you just hope he loves you. He asked you for money and to buy a flat for you two to live...you've paid for him to do things and his family seem to support that. A better family would tell him to buck up and support you properly ALONE if he was really serious. Even though he is persuasive doesn't mean he's honest, and I smell a rat.
Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
That ain't workin' that's the way YOU do it Money for nothin' and the chick for free...
This txt is out of an old lyric, but it is suitable for this situation. The guy must feel himself in heaven, with a providing chick ( because you are NOT his wife) who pays all for him. A few subtile hints about the next wish on his list, and reb takes her wallet to give her precious darling whatever he wants. Food, a place to stay, a drivers license, money for the mama, and right now an appartment to buy. Of course he is sweet and friendly to you, he hasn't have to do anything else as being sweet... A man has rights and duties, but it seems you have voluntarily exchanged your rights into duties, and his duties into rights.
Posted by manx (Member # 14517) on :
MUG!!!!
Posted by dia001 (Member # 12044) on :
Quote : Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think? Wake up girl........this Guy is a 1st Class Rat...don't ask us on ES what we think you know yourself this Guy wants you for money and nothing more....get rid of him....he is not worth the ground he stands on.
Posted by nasrcity (Member # 15037) on :
hi reb you asked are u being used . from when u said he has to send his mother money i smelt a rat. first off if he was a descent man he would be getting you to pay for almost everythink .i think u need to either put this jerk [sorry to say that] to the test. or just say ur needed back home cos the bank need to see u abt money . and get the hell out of there . otherwise he will bleed u dry good luck
Posted by Shahrazat (Member # 12769) on :
If he is working at the bar of a cruise ship at his 32, it means he is in a hopeless condition And I m sure dear, untill his 32, he tried it on too many girls I traveled a lot on cruises in Egypt and I know those working guys. All they do is trying to have a good catch
And I think it was a mistake to make him leaving his job as he may blame you if you would like to end this relationship one day.
What's your job reb27?
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: Hi everyone I have been reading posts for a while now, just decided to registar and ask you guys and gals some questions and opinions.
Just wondered what you thought bout my relation ship with my egyptian man.
We met November 19th 2007 while i was on a nile cruise with my family. I spotted him working in the bar, we smiled at each other and this went on for a few days after which time another guy on the boat decided to ask me out and i said no. When he asked why i told him that i liked his friend. He told his friend and then after this we began to chat between his work. Just general questions really, then i gave him my mobile number.
He waited for a day and then we began texting as he cant have any relationships with guests while working so we did it on the quiet.
We got on well and i decided to stay in egypt for longer than one week. Now by the 2nd week he told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Just to clear one thing up. i am 27 and he is 32 so no huge age gap, just incase anyone is wondering
Anyway, what was making it so hard was that he works 42 days and then has 2 weeks hols but this was too difficult for us so i asked him to leave his job while we rented a flat and he could get another job so i could see him. He did do this but he told me that he needed to give his mum some money as he did when he worked and now he had none so i helped him with this.
Basically the story goes on and i am with him 6 months later. sometimes in the uk(on my own to visit family) and sometimes with him but everyone thinks he is using me for a meal ticket?
He still is not working but has been having driving lessons so that he can work as a taxi driver which yes, i paid for. I have also been paying the rent on the flat and for food.
He asked me if i would marry him and he also asked if i would buy a flat in egypt for us to live in.
Then he asked for some kind of company for us to work in which again i would buy.
Does this seem fishy?. I just cant get my head around it. We have such a laugh together, we get on well, great love life, he is so attentive to me, always saying he loves me etc, never gets mad with me and never hurts me.
I have met his family alot of times, especially his mum and sisters and all his friends. He wants a wedding at the embassy and then a party after to show me off
Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think?
How a man could ask a woman for an apartment? Company? Money for his mom? Expenses money? Is beyond me! Where is the dignity? But you are also to blame because it was you that took him out of his job, it was you who facilitated and opened the door to what translates to handouts and begging.
You are being fleeced and it is your fault. You need to test your man, there is nothing sweet about life when something comes easily.
Shame
Posted by nasrcity (Member # 15037) on :
exiled well said this women need to throw this loser out cos once she supplies money she will alway do it . tell him ur money has dryed up and see what happens then he will dump u like a ton of bricks ur deserve better than him good luck
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by nasrcity: exiled well said this women need to throw this loser out cos once she supplies money she will alway do it . tell him ur money has dryed up and see what happens then he will dump u like a ton of bricks ur deserve better than him good luck
The money drying up is a good idea. Everything in life when it comes very easily isn’t as appreciated and I know this from personal experience. You have to struggle to find love, struggle to make the relationship grow, struggle for a car, for a home and at least initially. But when the first home comes by asking someone to buy it and when the first whatever comes by asking someone else to but then this creates disproportionate levels of appreciation, money does not grow on trees. I simply advocate attainment of items in a gradual sense, now if he were the woman and she was the man then that would not pose a problem, because let us be realistic we are talking about Egyptians and Egyptian culture and this is not normal. In essence he is a bum and she is a cash cow.
Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
reb27, Its not right, something is wrong about this relationship.
If you really wanna be with him, buy the flat but under yourname or why not rent a flat for three months in the begining maybe this whole thing wont work between the 2 of you
Only fools rush in. DON'T marry him, reb27. Please don't, you will regret later.
Posted by nasrcity (Member # 15037) on :
reb rent a flat as been said on here and dont come on so easy with the cash . make him do it and then u will see the true colour of him.if he still sticks around put the work on him and u sit back only when ur sure he is 100% then u can work out what to do . please dont allow this guy to fleece u . descent egyptian men are not like that and will not accept a penny from u good luck nasrcity
Posted by Kleobatra (Member # 14882) on :
A 32 year old man, who hasn’t seem to achieved anything that catches the eye. Wow! Working in a bar at a cruise ship at his age. Great carrier! He doesn’t seem to have any real future goals. He quits his job to live on a woman’s money. Sounds like a really great catch! Hold on to this one, girl!
BTW, Exiled, this isn’t normal in Egypt, but it’s not normal in Europe either.
Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
I totally agree with you Kleopatra.
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
yes i agree with you all, i aint gonna be such a FOOL anymore, thanks for waking me up everyone. I will let u know how it goes.
Someone (sorry forgot who) asked what my job is, i have my own website selling books, etc and i do some ebay stuff.
Last night i told him that from now on he needs to get "after i have finished driving school", when will that be????, i aint even gonna speak to him again till he gives me an answer as to when its finished and no i wont be handing anymore freebies out.
Posted by nasrcity (Member # 15037) on :
good one u could do reb is to tell him to apply for his job back on the ships while u stay where u are and make he know u wont support him or his mother any long and see what reaction u get and go from there but just make out u havet done so well with work and save that money then if u do deside to call it a day he wont have had as much out of u as he thinks
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
meant to say he needs to get off his arse
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: Last night i told him that from now on he needs to get "after i have finished driving school", when will that be????, i aint even gonna speak to him again till he gives me an answer as to when its finished and no i wont be handing anymore freebies out.
Relax, and don’t resort to ultimatums or such behavior. Keep your heart open and keep talking to him but simply inquire from time to time about the status of his driving license endeavor. Remain cool and don’t deprive good feelings but instead what you need to do is simply separate love and finances in the early stages of your relationship. When you two actually build a life together then that is a different matter. Don’t push him but rather witness for yourself if he keeps his word, if he is motivated and if he is actually striving to actually play a constructive role in your relationship. Enjoy your relationship and at the same time be smart about everything.
Relax Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
reb27,
Do you think its alright to fall in a love with a bartender from just looking in his eyes!
Do you think he wont fall in love with the next woman who eye contact him! i think he falls in love 10 times a day!
Just let go and don't think twice, if you want to date an Egyptian guy just make sure he is from a good family and with a good job.
Stay away form Egyptian guys working in bazars, bars or resorts.
Posted by nasrcity (Member # 15037) on :
well said i agree
Posted by Kleobatra (Member # 14882) on :
"Stay away form Egyptian guys working in bazars, bars or resorts."
And taxi drivers…
Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kleobatra: "Stay away form Egyptian guys working in bazars, bars or resorts."
And taxi drivers…
And Egyptian men working on fluca's and boats in the Nile river.
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
'as sure as day is light and night is dark', she loves him and she needs to go through the process and this is the beauty of life, telling her to stay away is meaningless because i know women and as bad as some of us are we can have our ways with women, just be careful and seperate the money from the relationship.
quote:Originally posted by Exiled: 'as sure as day is light and night is dark', she loves him and she needs to go through the process and this is the beauty of life, telling her to stay away is meaningless because i know women and as bad as some of us are we can have our ways with women, just be careful and seperate the money from the relationship.
You’re so very right, unfortunately. My friend and travel companion to Egypt had fallen for such a low life character. Until she slightly came back to earth it felt like talking to the walls. So frustrating… I don’t visit ES very often anymore. Busy working, and I didn’t feel like I had anything special to contribute. But when I visit ES somehow some posts always seem to amaze me.
Why is a certain type of Egyptian guy, who doesn’t seem to have to offer that much, so irresistible to independent, educated, professional women?
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kleobatra:
quote:Originally posted by Exiled: 'as sure as day is light and night is dark', she loves him and she needs to go through the process and this is the beauty of life, telling her to stay away is meaningless because i know women and as bad as some of us are we can have our ways with women, just be careful and seperate the money from the relationship.
You’re so very right, unfortunately. My friend and travel companion to Egypt had fallen for such a low life character. Until she slightly came back to earth it felt like talking to the walls. So frustrating… I don’t visit ES very often anymore. Busy working, and I didn’t feel like I had anything special to contribute. But when I visit ES somehow some posts always seem to amaze me.
Why is a certain type of Egyptian guy, who doesn’t seem to have to offer that much, so irresistible to independent, educated, professional women?
The same way attractive young uneducated Isaan (thai village women) attract western men on vacation in Thailand. The boyfriend/girlfriend experience materializes instantly; the ‘love’ develops in a matter of days or weeks. The entire process occurs at an unbelievable pace, add this to the fact that such men and women have been frustrated in their own countries and this is the result.
Thai men won't look twice at such Isaan women, nor would Egyptian women look twice at such Egyptian men, but they would certainly allow them to wash their cars.
Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
My friends and i wonder when we see a pretty foreign woman walking with a less than ordinary Egyptian guy on the Nile or in zamalek or in sharm.
Cant she see that this guy is not considered a good Egyptian guy.
Why is she attracted to him! he doesn't seem to have a good job, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't seem to be from a good family!
Cant she notice that this guy isn't considered a good Egyptian guy compared to other Egyptian guys who have good education and are coming from good families and even from the way he dresses it shows that he is not form a good standard! while she is pretty, good looking, sexy, dressed in a nice way and seems decent!
I am beginning to believe that most foreigners are blind
Some egyptian guys are blind as well, you can find a decent, good egyptian guy from good family with a foreign woman who is not from the same standard!
Posted by ????? (Member # 12336) on :
quote:Originally posted by YoungEgyptianGuy: My friends and i wonder when we see a pretty foreign woman walking with a less than ordinary Egyptian guy on the Nile or in zamalek or in sharm.
Cant she see that this guy is not considered a good Egyptian guy.
Why is she attracted to him! he doesn't seem to have a good job, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't seem to be from a good family!
Cant she notice that this guy isn't considered a good Egyptian guy compared to other Egyptian guys who have good education and are coming from good families and even from the way he dresses it shows that he is not form a good standard! while she is pretty, good looking, sexy, dressed in a nice way and seems decent!
I am beginning to believe that most foreigners are blind
Some egyptian guys are blind as well, you can find a decent, good egyptian guy from good family with a foreign woman who is not from the same standard!
When you should travel to any Western country you would expierence the same problems. You are not able to classify people on their outer apperance, they way the speak, the words they use, they way they dress, their educational level, the level of the family etc.
Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
why does a man have to have a car and an education to be a "good" person??? just because someone is poor doesn't mean they are bad!!
and how can you judge a person by just looking at him that he doesn't come from a good family or have a good job...i see lots of "educated" men driving in cars with a crappy fashion sense. if someone wears jeans and a t-shirt do you consider them bad???
you use the word "seem" a lot...i can understand if you actually talk to a person and hear their dialect, grammer, etc (but that would only give a clue as to their education level)...but to just look at someone and decide they are bad??? i think we had this discussion in another thread and as a westerner, no, i can't discern from an egyptian's speech if he is "low" class or not; but just because someone doesn't have an education or a car or dresses poorly, does NOT make that person bad. i lived in a village for 3 months and everyone was poor...concrete floors, 9 people in a 2-bedroom house...most were illiterate...but they were good, nice people. i'd rather be with poor, uneducated people who treat me nicely and are kind than with rich, educated people who look down on everyone.
Posted by Lumos (Member # 14589) on :
quote:Originally posted by YoungEgyptianGuy: My friends and i wonder when we see a pretty foreign woman walking with a less than ordinary Egyptian guy on the Nile or in zamalek or in sharm.
Cant she see that this guy is not considered a good Egyptian guy.
Why is she attracted to him! he doesn't seem to have a good job, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't seem to be from a good family!
Cant she notice that this guy isn't considered a good Egyptian guy compared to other Egyptian guys who have good education and are coming from good families and even from the way he dresses it shows that he is not form a good standard! while she is pretty, good looking, sexy, dressed in a nice way and seems decent!
I am beginning to believe that most foreigners are blind
Some egyptian guys are blind as well, you can find a decent, good egyptian guy from good family with a foreign woman who is not from the same standard!
Interesting perspective from an Egyptian guy. All foreigners are certainly not blind, but I see why you may have that view. Most foreigners visiting Egypt are not remotely interested in romantic relationships with Egyptian men. The vast majority go there simply as it is a wonderful, sunny, fascinating country. Most go with their families, husbands and/or friends. ES doesn't reflect that reality. I forgot to add that westerners take the social values from their culture and fail to see that the class and social structures in Egypt are very different. It's a simple culture clash.
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
I think some people are ignorant enough to believe there isn't a difference in cultures. We as a people are a product of our environments. I would also like to add that some of these guys have a complex enough so that they will try to procure enough wealth from the western woman in order to amass enough to entice an Egyptian woman that denied him or would deny him.
This aspect of Egyptian society is an Egyptian thing, it is their culture and they are their rules. Poverty is a miserable thing, you expect an intelligent Egyptian woman to marry some low class guy that will give her a home in a mantiqah sha3beyeh, and where she would have to struggle day and night just to eat. As the homies would say 'nigga please'
Posted by Kleobatra (Member # 14882) on :
I asked this question, but I already knew the answer. But thanks anyway. I’ve been in Thailand a few years ago. And there are similarities in what’s happening in the Egyptian tourist areas as far as I can see. Funny enough, I met some male Western tourists that complained about how they were harassed by Thai women all the time. Even if they were with their wife or girlfriend.
Hé, real love sees no colours. (Isn’t that also a song title?) Doesn’t look at education, difference in class, family background, dress sense etc. But a man that asks a woman for money when they hardly know each other… And a woman is willingly giving it to him…
Posted by Lumos (Member # 14589) on :
It's often uncomfortable for westerners to witness and deal with the social snobbery aspects of life in Egypt, as such behaviour is frowned upon in their own countries. On discovering this, you don't have to discard your principles, but by observing the social norms, it's possible to make a better evaluation of certain behaviours. By understanding what is considered normal, in Egyptian relationships, you are less likely to be 'blinded by love' as seeing the bigger picture can help.
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
I would like to also add would a western woman agree to a life in which her husband brought home 500 L.E a month? Not enough for food and certainly no chance in hell to see any other part of the world and probably not 95% of Egypt.
Educated Egyptian women want an educated man to talk to, but add this an uneducated husband in addition to below poverty and you are asking an Egyptian woman to enter hell.
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
2 room apartment in a gutter area
Language that is spoken like low class brutish Egyptians
500 L.E a month where you can barely have enough to eat
No automatic dishwasher, no car, no proper furniture, no true vacations outside of Egypt (ever), no proper dental or health care, no proper education, no savings, etc etc
Go ahead and sign on this type of life! Here on the dotted line ……………………….
And while you're at it how is your love life, it easy to have an illusion of love when money is available to buy meals at restaurants and to afford the little things in life.
Posted by Lumos (Member # 14589) on :
Personally, I have never considered finances with regard to relationships... but I have always had a career and enough money to have a good lifestyle. It's coincidence, not design, that I chose a husband with the means of earning a good living. Most Egyptian women simply do not have the luxury of independence or great career opportunities, (neither do many men) or the access to education that many westerners do. An uneducated man doesn't have the same opportunities to better himself, as he would in the west, which perhaps explains some of the class issues. This seems plain wrong, when seen through many western eyes, as we've struggled to get away from class systems and remove barriers. Egypt has quite some way to go, in this area.
Posted by Almaz. (Member # 14025) on :
quote:Originally posted by walkingathinline: why does a man have to have a car and an education to be a "good" person??? just because someone is poor doesn't mean they are bad!!
and how can you judge a person by just looking at him that he doesn't come from a good family or have a good job...i see lots of "educated" men driving in cars with a crappy fashion sense. if someone wears jeans and a t-shirt do you consider them bad???
you use the word "seem" a lot...i can understand if you actually talk to a person and hear their dialect, grammer, etc (but that would only give a clue as to their education level)...but to just look at someone and decide they are bad??? i think we had this discussion in another thread and as a westerner, no, i can't discern from an egyptian's speech if he is "low" class or not; but just because someone doesn't have an education or a car or dresses poorly, does NOT make that person bad. i lived in a village for 3 months and everyone was poor...concrete floors, 9 people in a 2-bedroom house...most were illiterate...but they were good, nice people. i'd rather be with poor, uneducated people who treat me nicely and are kind than with rich, educated people who look down on everyone.
You are right some very poor people are so kind, and so generous that they would share their only loaf of bread, with their guests.
But some people look at compatibility. Compatible in terms of education and in terms of culture - from the same type of upbringing, same type of environment.
Unfortunately there are bad people within all classes, as well as good people; but building a relationship with someone that is illiterate vs someone with a very high education, that is exposed to quality of life and that has an excellent future - is rare all over the world.
When youngegyptian guy talks about a 'good' guy he means someone that a woman can COUNT on, someone responsible, someone that would commit and someone that would have a word of honor. Someone that is an achiever, that has ambition, that would provide for his children the proper way.
There are some of these 'good' guys all over Egypt, but they may not be compatible to some of us, in terms of manners, upbringing, education, social class.
At the end of the day, it is the choice of every human being to decide who is a match, and who they prefer to spend their life with.
Most would opt for someone that would make one feel comfortable and content. Whichever choice we make, we are all free to make it, as adults and as people that know what they want, and who they really are.
Posted by Lumos (Member # 14589) on :
"Unfortunately there are bad people within all classes, as well as good people; but building a relationship with someone that is illiterate vs someone with a very high education, that is exposed to quality of life and that has an excellent future - is rare all over the world"
Even today, in the west, people tend to marry within their socio-economic groups, so I see what Almaz means. There is a difference in western expectation though and the middle class is far wider. Someone from a poor economic background can access education. Liberal folks wouldn't perceive a lack of education as a lack of intelligence, merely an opportunity to improve one's life. Snobbery is found in most countries, but westerners seem more shocked when they find it in Egypt... partly because they expect the rich to have more compassion for the poor, is my guess.
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
You walk out of your apartment on the 13th floor which reaches 120F degrees during summer and with no A/C to stairs that are littered with trash. Oh an no elevator – you walk outside and the sewer is over flooding and a man on a donkey selling donkey kofta and watch your feet from the manure.
You then go to the grocery store and you buy soap by the kilogram that is of the lowest grade possible, you also buy 1/2 kilogram of expired pasta. then you go to the souq and you buy the over ripened tomatoes in order to save 3 American pennies because they do add up as you need to save for a blouse.
And on the way home you see your best friend who listened to her parents and married an engineer drive by in her Honda civic, smiling with her two beautiful children in the back seat
I think you should have listened to mama and papa when they told don’t marry your broke ass 500 L.E a month earning husband. The thing is this life wouldn’t be out of place for some women who were born into such a life, but of course this doesn’t apply to you because you have no business in such a life.
Posted by Almaz. (Member # 14025) on :
Also, the term a 'good' family, in Egypt it means someone that has a family of good reputation, no drugs, no problems with the law, a family that established its credibility, a family that struggles and stands by their children, supporting them.
In many cases, struggle to get them through a high education to be able to have a good life.
A family that has high morals, that would not tolerate their sons to go pick up girls at bars, and then live off their money a family that would not tolerate that their daughters go out half naked alone, and flirt all over the place; ...a good family can also mean a family that has also achieved a lot in terms of education, in terms of profession etc..and would be extremely disappointed if the children would bring home some 'parasites' that live off other people's money, or some drunk, or some gigolo, or some loser, or some call girl.
Posted by Rumicrazieluv (Member # 12053) on :
quote:Originally posted by walkingathinline: why does a man have to have a car and an education to be a "good" person??? just because someone is poor doesn't mean they are bad!!
and how can you judge a person by just looking at him that he doesn't come from a good family or have a good job...i see lots of "educated" men driving in cars with a crappy fashion sense. if someone wears jeans and a t-shirt do you consider them bad???
you use the word "seem" a lot...i can understand if you actually talk to a person and hear their dialect, grammer, etc (but that would only give a clue as to their education level)...but to just look at someone and decide they are bad??? i think we had this discussion in another thread and as a westerner, no, i can't discern from an egyptian's speech if he is "low" class or not; but just because someone doesn't have an education or a car or dresses poorly, does NOT make that person bad. i lived in a village for 3 months and everyone was poor...concrete floors, 9 people in a 2-bedroom house...most were illiterate...but they were good, nice people. i'd rather be with poor, uneducated people who treat me nicely and are kind than with rich, educated people who look down on everyone.
Good point, WTL. This was the hardest thing I had to get used to on ES. I came from a" poor "family,and I am now educated with a good career. Does that mean because I came from a "poor" family that I am low class?? It actually is quite ridiculous, however we know that egypt is not the same country with this aspect-look at the caste system in India. Born in the same caste you are that your whole life unless you leave and start in another country.
We also know here that being wealthy doesnt neccessarily show class. I've met people with money who are absolute trash, have no morals and absolutely are disgusting human beings, and if you look many have come from wonderful families. But yet, they must be good people because they have money and come from "good people" , right??
Unfortunately, I think most western woman don't judge on job status and family backround because here it's different. Most of the time we don't judge people on factors such as type of job and family backround and I think this is where the problem comes in to play.WE go to another country and judge men we meet as how we are used to viewing men here..
However, in this case, it's obvious that she is being played. Most normal men do have a sense of pride when it comes to money matters. If a decent man here for instance loses his job because of downsizing or something to that effect, he generally will do everything he can-send resumes, continue education, and generally have a sense of embarrassment. They won't take handouts without a problem-in any culture this is considered to be a loser. Also, many women here also have careers and many times we happen to earn more money than the man we are involved with. That happens frequently and does not indicate their character.It's not about backround, parents or class-most of the time it just comes down to them being a lazy player with a lack of character-bottom dwellers. Another point is that even the nicest of people can take advantage-we value more what we have to work for..
Good example is a dear friend of mine. He doesn't have a car but he does have job and is a wonderful person. Someone who looks at him and says " what a loser, he doesn't even own a car" just takes a surface look. The person who looks beyond this and gets to know him then finds out that he was in a bad accident in which his fiancee was killed, he was in a coma for a month and almost died too. He cannot bring himself to get behind the wheel of a vehicle, even after multiple attempts to do so. So the person who just judges him by this small fact as "low class" is really the loser, IMO...
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
I never intended for people to argue on this but it is an interesting discussion.
While i have been in egypt i have certainly learnt alot from these people and yes obviously the culture is very different but i believe my my guy is a good guy. Yes he worked on a boat and didnt have much hope of better prospects, i see that and while i was there i was approached by 6 men on the boat, they were all the same asking for "love" and saying how beautiful you are, they do this with all women of all nationalities. My guy was infact the only one not to pester me and look desperate, infact i appraoched him and i can see that this situation is my own doing entirely, though now looking back i can see that i did the wrong thing offering him too much in the way of a better life.
I can also see that yes there are those men out there that prey on tourists and that there are decent men too rich and poor.
I never thought that i would have a relationship with a poor man, i mean in England i am not rich but i get by.
There has been a big culture clash, he is muslim and i am Chrtistian but he hasnt stopped me from talking about my religion, i even told him about Easter and he listened to me but we just agree to differ on religion.
I have found it hard to be expected to act like an Egyptian women too because i am not and in time we have come to some compromises even though i still find his jealousy of me hard to deal with at times.
Yes i can see that i made a big mistake in regards to money but if he really wants me he will buck up his ideas and start working and contributing to our life and he knows this.
Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
Egyptians can tell who is considered good Egyptian and who is bad.
Those kind of guys wont ever get married to a good Egyptian girl from a good family because they are coming from different background, lower standard and they cant afford to get married: no house, no car and no good job, so the easiest thing is to find a western woman, marry her, go to her country, live in her house then look for a job, make good money, save some money then divorce her and come back to Egypt to marry that Egyptian girl who refused to marry him when he was poor and got no money!
Western women know nothing about Egyptian men and how to tell if this man is coming from good or bad background that's why they come here to ES crying afterwards. After they find out that they have been used for money or visa or sex and that he was fooling her and using her from day one!
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
Let us see what 500 L.E could buy:
Rent 15 L.E (old rent law for a 2 room apartment in a gutter neighborhood where you neighbors are Sudanese refugees)
Electric 15 L.E
Internet 50 L.E (shared) your husband needs it to check on ES and see if he can find an alternative source of income
Water 2 L.E
Gas 12 L.E for 1 cylinder 6 chickens x 25 l.E = 150 l.E
Fuul and bread for breakfast every single morning 1.5 l.E x 30 = 45 l.E
10 kilograms tomatoes, 10 kilograms cumcumbers for the daily salad 1.25 x 30 = 37.50
Sugar, cooking oil, = 25 l.E
So far it comes out to 339.50 l.E
90 L.E is for transportation on microbuses
10 l.E is your own money to buy whatever you want The total thus far is 439.50
With the rest of the 60.5 L.E try your best to feed your children
Go ahead and sign on the dotted line ……………………………..
P.S the day western women cease comparing their lives in the west to life in Egypt is the day they finally accept reality. It is pathetic when you are talking about your lives in western developed nations to a third world nation. I am embarrassed at reading such redundant text.
Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
thanks Rumi and Almaz..really enjoyed your posts.
OM
Posted by Kleobatra (Member # 14882) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: I never intended for people to argue on this but it is an interesting discussion.
While i have been in egypt i have certainly learnt alot from these people and yes obviously the culture is very different but i believe my my guy is a good guy. Yes he worked on a boat and didnt have much hope of better prospects, i see that and while i was there i was approached by 6 men on the boat, they were all the same asking for "love" and saying how beautiful you are, they do this with all women of all nationalities. My guy was infact the only one not to pester me and look desperate, infact i appraoched him and i can see that this situation is my own doing entirely, though now looking back i can see that i did the wrong thing offering him too much in the way of a better life.
I can also see that yes there are those men out there that prey on tourists and that there are decent men too rich and poor.
I never thought that i would have a relationship with a poor man, i mean in England i am not rich but i get by.
There has been a big culture clash, he is muslim and i am Chrtistian but he hasnt stopped me from talking about my religion, i even told him about Easter and he listened to me but we just agree to differ on religion.
I have found it hard to be expected to act like an Egyptian women too because i am not and in time we have come to some compromises even though i still find his jealousy of me hard to deal with at times.
Yes i can see that i made a big mistake in regards to money but if he really wants me he will buck up his ideas and start working and contributing to our life and he knows this.
Strange question, maybe, but would you do the same for a man in your home country? For instance: my friend paid for everything when she when she dated her Egyptian boyfriend. Even seen though European eyes I don't think it's good for a guy's ego to do this. There's an element of pitty in it, which I think isn't a good thing to start a serious relationship with.
Posted by Lumos (Member # 14589) on :
"Unfortunately, I think most western woman don't judge on job status and family backround because here it's different. Most of the time we don't judge people on factors such as type of job and family backround and I think this is where the problem comes in to play.WE go to another country and judge men we meet as how we are used to viewing men here.."
That pretty much hits the nail squarely on the head, Rumi. There are good men everywhere, regardless of income, but to find the decent ones, you need to know what to look for and what to avoid... in any country.
Posted by Dalia* (Member # 10593) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: My guy was infact the only one not to pester me and look desperate, infact i appraoched him and i can see that this situation is my own doing entirely
He played you well, since you seem totally oblivious to the fact that you've very obviously been manipulated to think exactly that.
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
Think you are clever exiled, i dont wanna read your redundant crap either, i didnt come here to get attacked by some asshole and whats wrong with comparing??, your mind so small you cant think outside the box, you make me laugh Posted by YoungEgyptianGuy (Member # 15064) on :
How many times did women come online to complain about men they met in sharm or hurghada or in a bar or in taxi...etc? and how did those men treat them so nice in the beginning then they either took their money or used them for visa or whatsoever!
In spite of all the complains and the problems and the stories we have heard, western women still do it over and over again! They are not only blind they are deaf too!
Every western woman wishes her story with her Egyptian lover to be different and with happy ending and to be a successful story but they usually end up in court fighting and suing each other or in ES or online forums crying and yelling and cursing him and the day she met him lol
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
I think people DO judge others on type of job and education in any society, maybe no longer so much on family background in Western countries, because upward mobility is acceptable and often admired.
You'd be hard pressed to find a university professor married to a bus driver, or lawyer married to a waiter/waitress...etc. in most societies.
In Egypt, the class divide is just much greater and much more obvious - that's why if you are Egyptian or have lived here long enough you can tell just by looks and manner which 'class' a person is from. Also upward mobility is very difficult because of a rotten education system.
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: Think you are clever exiled, i dont wanna read your redundant crap either, i didnt come here to get attacked by some asshole and whats wrong with comparing??, your mind so small you cant think outside the box, you make me laugh
For what's it worth i want it to work for you two. Don't give up on him just yet, try to help him help himself in motivating sort of way, or at the very least play with his mind
all the best.
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
ok, thanks for that
p.s - what u mean, play with his mind?
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
Reb27, you seem hopeful of fixing your situation just by telling him to 'buck up'. The point we're all trying to make here is that, if he were an honourable and honest person to start with, he would NEVER have accepted what you have given him so far.
The driving lessons are a joke, I'm afraid. In Egypt your friends or relatives teach you how to drive... very few go to a driving school. The money almost definitely went for something else. Out of curiosity how much have you paid for driving lessons and how long have they been going on for?
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
ok well the driving lessons were a one month course so 20 days out of 28 driving, he would go for driving in the morning, then have a break, go back and have some lecture or something.
After this he had a medical, eye check etc which i have seen the paperwork for and now he is waiting for his test, so it has been nearly 2 months total.
The total for this was 3000LE, Do peole go to driving school citizen?
Posted by Dalia* (Member # 10593) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: The total for this was 3000LE
No way would you have to pay that amount of money for any kind of driving license in Egypt! Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: ok well the driving lessons were a one month course so 20 days out of 28 driving, he would go for driving in the morning, then have a break, go back and have some lecture or something.
After this he had a medical, eye check etc which i have seen the paperwork for and now he is waiting for his test, so it has been nearly 2 months total.
The total for this was 3000LE, Do peole go to driving school citizen?
Thief, Thief, Thief!!!! Haramy Big Time!!! My wife has to take driving lessons here for a total of 100 JD or 775 L.E and Jordan is way more expensive than Egypt.
3000 L.E is a yearly salary for many Egyptians
Posted by Sashyra8 (Member # 14488) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: ok well the driving lessons were a one month course so 20 days out of 28 driving, he would go for driving in the morning, then have a break, go back and have some lecture or something.
After this he had a medical, eye check etc which i have seen the paperwork for and now he is waiting for his test, so it has been nearly 2 months total.
The total for this was 3000LE, Do peole go to driving school citizen?
This must be a joke or she's a troll. Posted by Lumos (Member # 14589) on :
quote:Originally posted by citizen: Also upward mobility is very difficult because of a rotten education system.
I agree, Citizen, although we do know couples with very different careers - such as a successful lawyer who is married to an air hostess(she still works too, part time) and several other examples. There is way more fluidity and acceptance of upward mobility. It would be a social error here to ask a stranger at a party what they do for a living, for example
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
who here comes from Egypt or this area?, obviously i can see that Exiled is from Jordan
Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
his case is looking worse and worse Reb...sorry to say...dump him, or at least throw away your check book!!!
Posted by Dalia* (Member # 10593) on :
I'm in Cairo. Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by Exiled:
quote:Originally posted by reb27: ok well the driving lessons were a one month course so 20 days out of 28 driving, he would go for driving in the morning, then have a break, go back and have some lecture or something.
After this he had a medical, eye check etc which i have seen the paperwork for and now he is waiting for his test, so it has been nearly 2 months total.
The total for this was 3000LE, Do peole go to driving school citizen?
Thief, Thief, Thief!!!! Haramy Big Time!!! My wife has to take driving lessons here for a total of 100 JD or 775 L.E and Jordan is way more expensive than Egypt.
3000 L.E is a yearly salary for many Egyptians
P.S the eye exam (in egypt) costs 25 l.E and is issued instantly.
Posted by Sashyra8 (Member # 14488) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: who here comes from Egypt or this area?, obviously i can see that Exiled is from Jordan
Although many of us don't live in Egypt,we obviously are more educated on Egyptian ways than you.Sorry. Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
a troll hahaha so funny Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lumos: It would be a social error here to ask a stranger at a party what they do for a living, for example
yeah, what the hell is the deal with people in egypt always wondering what someone does for a living??? sometimes i get the feeling that certain egyptians don't want other egyptians to do well, like there's a big jealousy factor...anyone else ever feel that way???
Reb...i don't come from egypt...i have lived there since 2005 and am married to an egyptian...but it doesn't take an egyptian person to see this guy is using you! please think about it...
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
Reb, I'm in Egypt. Just texted a colleague who recently took lessons. Her answer: 360LE for 10 lessons x 45 mins.
Posted by Sashyra8 (Member # 14488) on :
<yeah, what the hell is the deal with people in egypt always wondering what someone does for a living??? sometimes i get the feeling that certain egyptians don't want other egyptians to do well, like there's a big jealousy factor...anyone else ever feel that way???>
Some even go to the extent of asking you the price of this or that of what you have. That is rude!
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
thanks for that citizen
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
sometimes they do ask that sashyra8, like if u go in a shop and buy something they will ask u how much it was
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
just while we are on the subject, how much is an examination by a consultant in assuite?, example like blood tests, exam, xray, just getting some facts together in my head so i know how much he used me.
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
^^^ you haven't been asked to do that for family members, have you? It's another classic con.
Posted by Sashyra8 (Member # 14488) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: sometimes they do ask that sashyra8, like if u go in a shop and buy something they will ask u how much it was
Noo,noo,but i'm not asking about shopping,but about Egyptian people not related to were you go shopping or such. Posted by Almaz. (Member # 14025) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: <yeah, what the hell is the deal with people in egypt always wondering what someone does for a living??? sometimes i get the feeling that certain egyptians don't want other egyptians to do well, like there's a big jealousy factor...anyone else ever feel that way???>
Some even go to the extent of asking you the price of this or that of what you have. That is rude!
This is the example of people that were not brought up with good manners, or were very deprived at one point - and even if they reached a different financial status, their manners still show they were not properly brought up.
Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: just while we are on the subject, how much is an examination by a consultant in assuite?, example like blood tests, exam, xray, just getting some facts together in my head so i know how much he used me.
you know, Reb...don't go there...really...it's not worth your energy or time...does it really matter HOW much he used you? would it make it better if it weren't for that much? probably not...
it's better to let it all go...write it off as a tough lesson learned...i'm sorry Posted by nasrcity (Member # 15037) on :
reb it depend how much the consulant will cost depending if he/she is like here private medical treatment
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
You already have a good idea how much he used you. Calculate the rent, upkeep, food, money for mama, medical tests and driving lessons. It doesn't matter whether they were real expenses or not, he has a whole network of relatives and neighbours to rely on in times of need, that's the way Egyptian society works. Taking money from a strange woman is not acceptable. It's unacceptable in Egypt and it's unacceptable in the UK, so why try to justify it?
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
I know citizen, just i asked cause i wanted to know what the difference was, what i gave him and what it actually cost so i know for once and for all
Posted by ExptinCAI (Member # 1439) on :
In Egypt, if you have money everything is easy. For example, to get a driver's license is very easy. In fact, the actual driving test comprises of parking between two cones - the more tip you give the officer next to the cones, the farther the cones are placed and easier it is to "pass your driving skills" test.
What is difficult is the disorganized bureaucracy, the horrid conditions of the "offices" (of course no aircon) you have to wait around for hours, the pushing and shoving of people all jumping the queue, etc.
But if you don't have the time and you do have the money, you can find a guy who knows the right people and the right palms to grease who can reduce the bureaucratic red time. In fact, you can get a drivers license for about LE500-600 and the exams, the tests, all magically signed off on.
For LE3000, he could have a taxi license in a couple of days by "tipping" the right people.
But then you'd expect him to actually go out and work, and that would be no good to him would it.
Posted by desertgirl (Member # 12450) on :
quote:Originally posted by ExptinCAI: For example, to get a driver's license is very easy. In fact, the actual driving test comprises of parking between two cones - the more tip you give the officer next to the cones, the farther the cones are placed and easier it is to "pass your driving skills" test.
Really?? I am surprised to read this. You park between 2 cones and you get your driver's licence?? Well, that's easy .
Posted by ExptinCAI (Member # 1439) on :
maybe that's why there's so many inept drivers superb at parallel parking ;-)
Posted by Tilutine (Member # 12661) on :
You don't pass your driver license, you buy it... Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
so for a taxi license u pay 3000LE?
Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: so for a taxi license u pay 3000LE?
i would like to know this answer also, because if it turns out we are all transgressing against your man by labeling him all sorts of things, you should be certain that your love from him will only grow
Posted by Englishrose (Member # 11571) on :
HI I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING I GOING THROUGH THE SAME
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
Ok, some answers: blood test: LE10-50. X-ray: LE30-LE100. Doctor's exam: LE10-100. Depending if you have them in mosque clinic or expensive private hospital.
Posted by walkingathinline (Member # 11504) on :
quote:Originally posted by citizen: It doesn't matter whether they were real expenses or not, he has a whole network of relatives and neighbours to rely on in times of need, that's the way Egyptian society works. Taking money from a strange woman is not acceptable.
'nuff said!
Posted by ExptinCAI (Member # 1439) on :
no, i'm saying that a regular 10 year license costs LE500-600 IF all you want to do is walk straight in, get to the front of the line and have your picture taken and your license in your hand in 10 minutes. about 2-3 days for your guy to "sort out" the paperwork beforehand. i would imagine if you pay less, it takes longer, etc. i don't believe that you need a *special* taxi license in egypt as it seems to be a job that anyone picks up.
you do however need to register the taxi if it's yours (again, you probably just need to grease some palms). but as your guy doesn't own a car, then he'd just be driving someone else's registered taxi and giving him a cut of the profits.
i'm saying NO WAY would it cost 3000 EVEN IF HE WAS PAYING SOMEONE UNDER THE TABLE.
i'm not sure why i'm bothering, as he'll be asking you to buy the taxi for him next and you'll soon be posting about what a fair price for a used car should be.
Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
no, i intend telling him where to go and i will do it today, thanks for the info people Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
^^^ try to get some money back first. Say your mother's sick and you need back some of the money you gave him for his mother.
Posted by desertgirl (Member # 12450) on :
Citizen, it is a nice advice but what do you expect? that the guy gives back some of her money?? Don't think this will happen, he has probably spent it all. Posted by reb27 (Member # 15217) on :
i will have some revenge.
Hell hath no fury like a women scorned!!!
Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
quote:Originally posted by desertgirl: Citizen, it is a nice advice but what do you expect? that the guy gives back some of her money?? Don't think this will happen, he has probably spent it all.
Well, he's supposed to be making money with his new taxi driving skills, so he can pay some back.
Posted by ExptinCAI (Member # 1439) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: i will have some revenge. Hell hath no fury like a women scorned!!!
doubt it. this guy knows how to play a good game and he's got at least a decade of experience under his belt. i doubt there's a trick you can think of that another girl hasn't already tried. he probably couldn't believe his luck with all the money you've been giving him and knew sooner or later the money would stop. i seriously doubt he stopped working and probably has a few girls he's currently "just friends with" lined up.
I can just see him pouring over his computer screen at some net cafe chatting with other women about his western girlfriend and bragging about how *western* his thinking is, blah blah blah.
Yeah, and those poor girls are thinking he's safe because surely he's just a nice egyptian guy and all those pervy, personal questions he's asking are just because there's a cultural difference and he doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of his western girlfriend...
...oooh, shaaaame, she broke with you?! they'll comfort him next she didn't trust you? aaaw, but you loved her. nooooo, not all western women are like this...i trust my man...
neeeeext.
good god, time to step away from ES again.
Posted by cloudberry (Member # 11163) on :
I don't think anybody means that poor or less educated people are bad! Or course they're not. There are bad and good in rich/poor, educated/uneducated people.
When I was as a tourist here (Upper Egypt) I talked with many guys and oh boy that was hard. I think half of the time they didn't have a clue what I was talking about! Also many of them do not speak (let alone write) good English so that is also one major obstacle for deeper discussion...politics etc etc. I also find it that you have to talk with more simple words that they understand. Also if you have never travelled abroad or are just not interested what happens in the world that makes it really hard to understand each other. I definitely don't mean that all Upper Egyptians are like this but often the ones are that you meet as a tourist.
I often hear this comment "money doesn't matter". What?! Sure, I think it doesn't matter as long as you have it enough. In my country I would say the same, money is not important because there is always the government that is helping in case of emergency situation in one's life. But how many of you would marry a teacher or similar in Egypt who earns 200-500 LE a month and be happy. I can honestly say I wouldn't. So money does matter...to me anyway.
I required that my husband is "on same level" as I am. I want to be able to talk about everything with him and that he understands what I am talking about.
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
quote:Originally posted by reb27: i will have some revenge.
Are you for real? You wanna blame him for your own naivety?? Posted by Exiled (Member # 14410) on :
quote:Originally posted by cloudberry: I don't think anybody means that poor or less educated people are bad! Or course they're not. There are bad and good in rich/poor, educated/uneducated people.
When I was as a tourist here (Upper Egypt) I talked with many guys and oh boy that was hard. I think half of the time they didn't have a clue what I was talking about! Also many of them do not speak (let alone write) good English so that is also one major obstacle for deeper discussion...politics etc etc. I also find it that you have to talk with more simple words that they understand. Also if you have never travelled abroad or are just not interested what happens in the world that makes it really hard to understand each other. I definitely don't mean that all Upper Egyptians are like this but often the ones are that you meet as a tourist.
I often hear this comment "money doesn't matter". What?! Sure, I think it doesn't matter as long as you have it enough. In my country I would say the same, money is not important because there is always the government that is helping in case of emergency situation in one's life. But how many of you would marry a teacher or similar in Egypt who earns 200-500 LE a month and be happy. I can honestly say I wouldn't. So money does matter...to me anyway.
I required that my husband is "on same level" as I am. I want to be able to talk about everything with him and that he understands what I am talking about.
I agree and I think some members read into something that is simply not there and unfortunately make baseless conclusions based on notions and ignorance. Fortunately there are enough members who actually live/lived in Egypt who know the deal. I mean did we create such a bias society, did we make it practically impossible to climb up the social economic ladder, did we set such limitations and did we create the Egyptian class system.
The probability for a middle class Egyptian woman to even meet an uneducated lower class Egyptian male is pretty much close to zero. There is simple no place to meet and interact with each other, certainly not in social circles. Look where each hangs out and when they meet in certain situations and in certain places the difference is night and day and apparent to all but tourists.
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