Honestly I have to say that I have posted in a few different message boards for health things and children discussions....this is the worst, it's like a bunch of little kids in a school yard calling each other names...and its rude to take over another persons post like that. I thought this was a place to discuss topics in a free, honest and respectful manner...ha, guess I was mistaken !
At this time not much has changed. My husband and his best friend ( who is like a son to the family) spoke with his father and he has agreed to accept the situation and my husbands wishes. My husbands mother will not ever accept this...they told her we divorced because she was not sleeping, eating and threatning to harm herself..My husbands father told my husband to do as he wishes but for now to keep the mom out of it, she cannot handle this. I did do some research and this situation is more common then I thought. I actually found many references on Islamic websites in which the parent or parents were making it impossible for their son to choose as he wants, to the point where he feels forced to keep choices from them. At the same time, I realize that this has not solved anything and the chances of a relationship being succesful under these circumstances are very low..My husband told me that he will never leave me, but he needs to make him mom ok and will do anything to take care of each of us. I really feel in my heart that he's being honest with me and is trying to find a way to keep his family ok, and keep me as his wife. What is the right answer in this, its not so simple....its easy to say we never shoudl ahve kept this from them but if he didn't or doesnt he will never be able to choose life for himself. Aside from this, I have nothing to say against him. He has supported me for the past years, always been there and never let me down. I went to Egypt and he paid for everything, my flight, a wonderful apartment, a trip to hurghada...and now he wants me to come back next month for a short visit. He has not ever asked me for one thing in over two years. I tried to pay for dinner in Cairo and he told me NO, its his responsibility to pay. For the past two years we have lived through many things together, and always been there for the other. We are in contact every minute of the day on our cell phones through MSN..he has never not answered me. He has told me things about himself that he never had to tell me and I would have never known otherwise... I have questioned him like an FBI agent for two years relentlessly and he was not for one time annoyed or inpatient..if i were him I would have lost it on me long ago. He's consistent. To just throw my arms up and assume he's going this far to get a visa, would be deciding he's really a very manipulative and cruel person...why go against his family, who he really love, for a visa ? He's a strict Muslim and I see that in his daily life. How he speaks to people and helps the poor and prays religiously. I saw how his friends love him and how he respects them..his friends are also following Islam closely...we were on a nile boat cruise and a belly dancer came on, his best friend was so uncomfortable he almost jumped off. So either he is an amazing actor, who is acting consistent and devoted and loyal and loving through various and continous actions over the past years...but wouldnt an actor get tired or slip up ? And spending every waking minute with me, all while not giving a crap about me and my well being. You know, when i was in Egypt I got an infection and wasnt feeling well..he took care of me so sincerely...im thinking some thinks you can't fake but maybe im wrong......
So ready for all attacks now....pls stick to the topic on this thread...ty
Posted by HiMyNameIs (Member # 17124) on :
If you have no doubts about his sincerity then why the **** are you are an internet forum with a bunch of people you are comparing to little kids, asking our opinion? Stop trying to justify your situation to us, we don't care. You had many members give you their advice and thoughts, what is it your are expecting?
Do whatever the hell you want, we're not here to talk you out of it or something, do you think we are getting paid for this ****? GMAFB
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by HiMyNameIs: If you have no doubts about his sincerity then why the **** are you are an internet forum with a bunch of people you are comparing to little kids, asking our opinion? Stop trying to justify your situation to us, we don't care. You had many members give you their advice and thoughts, what is it your are expecting?
Do whatever the hell you want, we're not here to talk you out of it or something, do you think we are getting paid for this ****? GMAFB
GMAFB?? thats a new one on me, whats that mean? Posted by Penny (Member # 1925) on :
So you stand by while he tells his mother another huge lie despite the total mess the first lie has caused, and then go on to justify that he's an ok Guy.
Quote:- "I have questioned him like an FBI agent for two years relentlessly and he was not for one time annoyed or inpatient..if i were him I would have lost it on me long ago. He's consistent."
Oh so you think abnormal behaviour is ok because its consistent abnormal behaviour.
Why look back and keep analysing what he has or has not done. Regardless of whether he's a VISA hunter or not what sort of a life can he really offer you and your children??
Posted by Clear and QSY (Member # 15597) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by HiMyNameIs: If you have no doubts about his sincerity then why the **** are you are an internet forum with a bunch of people you are comparing to little kids, asking our opinion? Stop trying to justify your situation to us, we don't care. You had many members give you their advice and thoughts, what is it your are expecting?
Do whatever the hell you want, we're not here to talk you out of it or something, do you think we are getting paid for this ****? GMAFB
GMAFB?? thats a new one on me, whats that mean?
I'm not sure I want to know what it means LOL. Let's take some guesses:
G M A F B:
German Men Are Fabulous Boys
General Motors Air Force Base
Get Me A Freaking Beer
Posted by Dzosser (Member # 9572) on :
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ayisha: GMAFB?? thats a new one on me, whats that mean?
It means Give Me A Fvcking Break...you silly old hag. Posted by Clear and QSY (Member # 15597) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Ayisha: GMAFB?? thats a new one on me, whats that mean?
It means Give Me A Fvcking Break...you silly old hag.
Come on! Now you ruined my game! I wanted to see how many more acronyms we would come up with.
Posted by Questionmarks (Member # 12336) on :
Mother is making Mediterrean drama because she knows her own son, her own husband,and a very close friend are fooling her and there is nothing she can do against it. You are standing behind them and you play the very same game. If there should have been one person straight in this nasty story, then you would have been introduced to her, to make her own opinion about you. But they are not. Not one person has been straight, and they all are telling her lies, while she knows.Of course she is making drama...
Posted by Dzosser (Member # 9572) on :
What is 'Mediterrean drama' ?? is it a marine life issue ? Posted by Questionmarks (Member # 12336) on :
You know, the way elder women behave when something is not going well. With their health, with their family, with whatever.
Posted by Dzosser (Member # 9572) on :
quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: You know, the way elder women behave when something is not going well. With their health, with their family, with whatever.
Yes but MIL in Sardenia is like MIL in Sweden, her son is a priority regardless of what he chooses for a spouse. Posted by Dubai Girl (Member # 15488) on :
GMAFB [/qb][/QUOTE]GMAFB?? thats a new one on me, whats that mean? [/qb][/QUOTE]I'm not sure I want to know what it means LOL. Let's take some guesses:
G M A F B:
German Men Are Fabulous Boys
General Motors Air Force Base
Get Me A Freaking Beer [/QB][/QUOTE]
Posted by stayingput (Member # 14989) on :
There's a million things running through my head so I'll just summarize it and say RUN.
Posted by stayingput (Member # 14989) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: At this time not much has changed. My husband and his best friend ( who is like a son to the family) spoke with his father and he has agreed to accept the situation and my husbands wishes. My husbands mother will not ever accept this...they told her we divorced because she was not sleeping, eating and threatning to harm herself..My husbands father told my husband to do as he wishes but for now to keep the mom out of it, she cannot handle this.
[x][x] Lie [x][ ] Deny [x][ ] Blame
Rinse and repeat.
S.O.P.
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: What is 'Mediterrean drama' ?? is it a marine life issue ?
Lol I liked your reply!!
QM, aren't you having Italian roots yourself?? So much about Mediterranean drama....
Learningarabic, again best of luck to you and your new husband. I am glad to hear that his Dad seems to be more tolerant than you made it sound like at first. Really that is good news.
Mama will have to accept the marriage at one point. IMHO the arrival of a little grandchild will do wonders! Mark my words!!
And remember the will to convert has to come from the inside of your heart and not because of pressure from your husband and his family. Take care. Posted by marydot (Member # 15932) on :
The fact is his mother does not want his son to be married to a non muslim girl, and the fact is he has lied and has lied again will make the sitution ten times worse now for you and his family.
I cant tell you what to do but my advise would be is the end it and try and find a man in your own country.Your husband would choose his mother over you in the long run, and he has already lied and lied again!!! The fact is his mother does not want her son to be married a non muslim girl outside egypt.
Dont break your heart over this man because he wont break his heart for you, his mother and family come first. This has nothing to do with islamic references as you have read about, its about his mother.
Im sorry but its true.whatever you do always leave something back for yourself.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Great advice, get pregnant and force Dad to stop lying to Mum!!! what a better way to be accepted in a family, get knocked up and bring your kids over with you!!!
Two such close male friends not liking a belly dancer only joking, we all know there are no gay men in Egypt lol.
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
WHY should his mother get the last word??
She wants him to marry a 'REAL' Muslima which sits day in and out with her in the house and takes care of her.
This elderly lady doesn't wanna give up her son and chain him and his future wife up until the end of her final days. It's her or no way. Remember she already said she's would hurt herself in that case (and let me refer back here to the initial thread):
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: His mother will not accept ANYTHING...unless its exactly what she has planned... NOTHING except living in her home with his wife (who must be Egyptian or she has no morals)... His mother created a situation in which he feels that he cannot choose for his life without lying to her. She even said if he travels she will burn herself
So her son knocking up an divorced westerner who already had kids really was moronic advice then.
If my dude kept me a secret and then convinced his dad to lie to his mum I would have run for the hills a long way back.
But LearningArabic, you clearly think he is worth all the pain, time and worry... but consider yourself 5 years down the line.
BTW, I know a women who after 5 years shelled out ££££££ to her Egyptian dude, who bought a villa with the cash for him, his Egyptian wife and their three children, the youngest being two!
You seem wise and with it, so just keep your head, bank balance and womb in tact!!!
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Ayisha: GMAFB?? thats a new one on me, whats that mean?
It means Give Me A Fvcking Break...you silly old hag.
I much prefered Get Me A Freaking Beer Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
it has probably been mentioned before but how do you know he isnt lying to YOU when its clear he is lying to everyone else around him who he is supposed to LOVE?
Posted by *Dalia* (Member # 13012) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Mama will have to accept the marriage at one point. IMHO the arrival of a little grandchild will do wonders! Mark my words!!
Erm ... no. There are quite a few foreign women in Egypt raising their children on their own because the guy never had the guts to tell his parents about it.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: If my dude kept me a secret and then convinced his dad to lie to his mum I would have run for the hills a long way back.
Ditto.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
I posted because a few ppl messaged me asking me about the status of my situation and I thought maybe including my story and its development wether good or bad might enlighten the next person reading it. Also, I never said I didnt doubt what is happening, Im simply explaining what is my train of thought right now.
quote:Originally posted by HiMyNameIs: If you have no doubts about his sincerity then why the **** are you are an internet forum with a bunch of people you are comparing to little kids, asking our opinion? Stop trying to justify your situation to us, we don't care. You had many members give you their advice and thoughts, what is it your are expecting?
Do whatever the hell you want, we're not here to talk you out of it or something, do you think we are getting paid for this ****? GMAFB
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Penny: So you stand by while he tells his mother another huge lie despite the total mess the first lie has caused, and then go on to justify that he's an ok Guy.
Quote:- "I have questioned him like an FBI agent for two years relentlessly and he was not for one time annoyed or inpatient..if i were him I would have lost it on me long ago. He's consistent."
So tell me what do you do if your parents are completly controlling your life and what they have planned for you is not what you want for ure life at all ? You have tried several tmes to express your thoughts and feelings and not to be listened to at all....you do what next ? Just give in and live a lfe you dont want ? The pressure here is beyond average and this is not and easy situation. It is not abnormal here in the west for kids to keep things from their parents, I see this all the time..and here in most circumstances we accept the ppl our children marry wether we want to or not..society is not the same.
Oh so you think abnormal behaviour is ok because its consistent abnormal behaviour.
Why look back and keep analysing what he has or has not done. Regardless of whether he's a VISA hunter or not what sort of a life can he really offer you and your children??
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Oh what tangled web! I have to agree that a marriage cannot survive all these lies. I honestly don't think a strict muslim man would continually lie to his mum like this and now his dad's involved in the deception I can't see a solution for this as he says he has to make sure his mum's ok and you say she'll never except it. I don't know what age his mum is but she could have many years ahead of her meaning alot of years waiting until he is 'free'. Only you can decide how much you can take of this situation.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: Mother is making Mediterrean drama because she knows her own son, her own husband,and a very close friend are fooling her and there is nothing she can do against it. You are standing behind them and you play the very same game. If there should have been one person straight in this nasty story, then you would have been introduced to her, to make her own opinion about you. But they are not. Not one person has been straight, and they all are telling her lies, while she knows.Of course she is making drama...
The drama was long before this decision to keep the situation from her, and now she is very much back to normal and happy. She healed instantly, over night actually. Hmmmm miracle.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: Mother is making Mediterrean drama because she knows her own son, her own husband,and a very close friend are fooling her and there is nothing she can do against it. You are standing behind them and you play the very same game. If there should have been one person straight in this nasty story, then you would have been introduced to her, to make her own opinion about you. But they are not. Not one person has been straight, and they all are telling her lies, while she knows.Of course she is making drama...
The drama was long before this decision to keep the situation from her, and now she is very much back to normal and happy. She healed instantly, over night actually. Hmmmm miracle.
yeah they do that. Bit like a kid thats stamps his feet and screams and shouts in a shop that he wants a lillipop, soon as you give it to him the screaming stops.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
It gets me how you make things up that are not even said...who said anything about getting pregnant ?????????? Why add more unecessary made up information...? and I the belly dancer was an example of observation..im sure he would have liked to look at her but he was making sure he didnt.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Great advice, get pregnant and force Dad to stop lying to Mum!!! what a better way to be accepted in a family, get knocked up and bring your kids over with you!!!
Two such close male friends not liking a belly dancer only joking, we all know there are no gay men in Egypt lol.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
Its not just because Im not Muslim, its also because im not egyptian...
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: WHY should his mother get the last word??
She wants him to marry a 'REAL' Muslima which sits day in and out with her in the house and takes care of her.
This elderly lady doesn't wanna give up her son and chain him and his future wife up until the end of her final days. It's her or no way. Remember she already said she's would hurt herself in that case (and let me refer back here to the initial thread):
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: His mother will not accept ANYTHING...unless its exactly what she has planned... NOTHING except living in her home with his wife (who must be Egyptian or she has no morals)... His mother created a situation in which he feels that he cannot choose for his life without lying to her. She even said if he travels she will burn herself
So, what will you do if the life you want is thecomplete opposite of your controling and not reasonable mother ? and her plans for ure life are not any you want to live with...and not following her in even one of these thigns leads to dramtic and drastic behaviour ??? Tell me.. also, as I said over the years my husband has supported me financially and helped me several times in tight situations as well as I didnt pay one penny while in Egypt. He has never asked me for one thing...
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: So her son knocking up an divorced westerner who already had kids really was moronic advice then.
If my dude kept me a secret and then convinced his dad to lie to his mum I would have run for the hills a long way back.
But LearningArabic, you clearly think he is worth all the pain, time and worry... but consider yourself 5 years down the line.
BTW, I know a women who after 5 years shelled out ££££££ to her Egyptian dude, who bought a villa with the cash for him, his Egyptian wife and their three children, the youngest being two!
You seem wise and with it, so just keep your head, bank balance and womb in tact!!!
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
What would I do, I would be an adult, I would be honest and I would sit my Mother down and explain that she has a choice, she either loses her daughter forever or snaps out of her way and accept her daughter's life and gains a family.
I would have introduced my partner to the family, I would have allowed them the choice to attend the wedding or not, I WOULD NOT have removed that choice from the parents.
I WOULD NOT... get the guy to marry me in secret and lie to my family. I WOULD NOT also be part of the lie, you are allowing him and permitting him to lie to his mother, I do doubt your part in this will win you any gold stars with the Mum.
It is NORMAL for the man to pay, don't get all trippy thinking you are special... I merely gave you a real life example how a lady I know lost nearly £50k on a decent educated guy who paid for her lifestyle here. And it took five years of them living on the same continent for it to happen.
Your story is all to familiar and we are simply telling you what scenario could happen with our experience of people we know. Take them on board at least.
I think overall our main points have been he is clearly a good liar and not committed to his own mother and that is concerning. Maybe you are flattered he would rather escape to Canada to be with you than stay with a mother he clearly doesn't want to be around.
Finally.
TL mentioned you should get pregnant and two of us responded to her comment.
You seem to be reading and taking on board advice that will allow you to live happily ever after and getting narky with those of us who think you should move on!
If you don't want to hear the answers then stop asking the questions!
Posted by Questionmarks (Member # 12336) on :
Well, learningArabic, what do you expect will happen as a secret wife and daughter in law? Will you stay a secret untill your MIL will die? Are you prepared to live like that?
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
GMAFB?? god men are fuckin bastards...
good men arent forever bi tch...
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
So he wants to keep the marriage a secret from his own Mum, in Egypt this means that your marriage won't be publicly recognised and therefore under Islam, not a true marriage.
Good to read you think he is following Islam correctly.
How do you know he isn't lying to you? How can you guarantee that his words on MSN are all true. The more I read about how perfect he is the more it seems quite unlikely to be true!
Posted by Clear and QSY (Member # 15597) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: So, what will you do if the life you want is thecomplete opposite of your controling and not reasonable mother ?
Family wins 9 times out of 10.
Blood is thicker than water.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
It is lovely idea, but if your mother will not sit and refuses to listen to a word your saying to her...and when u tell her this is your choice, she tells you she will harm herself if you go against her...then what ? How do you deal with who is not rational and fair ? Under most normal circumstances this is how any person would approach the situation. BUT his mom is not able to hear and digest anything except what she wants. His mother whould have never agreed to meet me, he tried before we were married to bring me into the family. There was not one inch of openess in even meeting with me...Im not Mulim and not Egyptian..im from the west, therefor I hold no values or morals. I will cheat and use him and steal his kids from him etc...her mind is full of misconceptions and she refuses to think any other way. I could have been living in Cairo and the response would have been the SAME. Next, I have to mention that I did not "GET" anyone to marry me in secret..my husband and I discussed this for a year before I came to Egypt...and marrying him without his family knowing was not something I felt most comfortable and happy about. I admit that I should not have agreed to move forward until they knew and it this that I regret the most. But as I mentioned, they would have never agreed..no matter what we did or didnt do. Yes, it is normal for the man to pay, but im simply responding to ure comment about taking money..he has never done that or even suggested it, at all so Im not going to put against him what he has not done yet. Does being committed to his mother, mean he has to give in to her controling nature and do all things she says ? Again, this woman is not reasonable. And for you information, nothing in this flatters me...really, i care deeply for this man and I would never allow him to choose me over his family. If I was looking for only advice that we will show we may live happily ever after, I definitly would not have posted on this board...really Im at this point just trying to share my story in hope that another will not repeat as I did. As for my situation, as I said I have some decisions to make and right now Im taking some time to figure out which steps to take while considering the complete situation and all that has been shown over the past years.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: What would I do, I would be an adult, I would be honest and I would sit my Mother down and explain that she has a choice, she either loses her daughter forever or snaps out of her way and accept her daughter's life and gains a family.
I would have introduced my partner to the family, I would have allowed them the choice to attend the wedding or not, I WOULD NOT have removed that choice from the parents.
I WOULD NOT... get the guy to marry me in secret and lie to my family. I WOULD NOT also be part of the lie, you are allowing him and permitting him to lie to his mother, I do doubt your part in this will win you any gold stars with the Mum.
It is NORMAL for the man to pay, don't get all trippy thinking you are special... I merely gave you a real life example how a lady I know lost nearly £50k on a decent educated guy who paid for her lifestyle here. And it took five years of them living on the same continent for it to happen.
Your story is all to familiar and we are simply telling you what scenario could happen with our experience of people we know. Take them on board at least.
I think overall our main points have been he is clearly a good liar and not committed to his own mother and that is concerning. Maybe you are flattered he would rather escape to Canada to be with you than stay with a mother he clearly doesn't want to be around.
Finally.
TL mentioned you should get pregnant and two of us responded to her comment.
You seem to be reading and taking on board advice that will allow you to live happily ever after and getting narky with those of us who think you should move on!
If you don't want to hear the answers then stop asking the questions!
Posted by Clear and QSY (Member # 15597) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: It is lovely idea, but if your mother will not sit and refuses to listen to a word your saying to her...and when u tell her this is your choice, she tells you she will harm herself if you go against her...then what ? How do you deal with who is not rational and fair ? Under most normal circumstances this is how any person would approach the situation. BUT his mom is not able to hear and digest anything except what she wants. Does being committed to his mother, mean he has to give in to her controling nature and do all things she says ? Again, this woman is not reasonable.
The problem is you are approaching this from a complete Western perspective. You are perplexed that she would control her son for the rest of his life and not "want him to have the life he wants". Sure, a Western mother would eventually let her son live his own life even if his choices are not what she wanted for him.
You say she is irrational and unreasonable. The rest of us are saying this is normal for an Egyptian mother.
It's not going to change. She (or anyone else in the family) is not suddenly going to give her blessing for your marriage.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
You think that his Mum will think you have no morals... Marrying her son behind her back... wherever would she get such an idea.
Ladies, we have a BMID on board. Grooming in progress.
Suicide is forbidden in Islam... I doubt his Islamic Mother will be doing anything too drastic to distract her boy from you, I think it is moreso he is telling you a lie or embellishing somewhat.
Did you marry Orfi or legally?
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Clear and QSY:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: It is lovely idea, but if your mother will not sit and refuses to listen to a word your saying to her...and when u tell her this is your choice, she tells you she will harm herself if you go against her...then what ? How do you deal with who is not rational and fair ? Under most normal circumstances this is how any person would approach the situation. BUT his mom is not able to hear and digest anything except what she wants. Does being committed to his mother, mean he has to give in to her controling nature and do all things she says ? Again, this woman is not reasonable.
The problem is you are approaching this from a complete Western perspective. You are perplexed that she would control her son for the rest of his life and not "want him to have the life he wants". Sure, a Western mother would eventually let her son live his own life even if his choices are not what she wanted for him.
You say she is irrational and unreasonable. The rest of us are saying this is normal for an Egyptian mother.
It's not going to change. She (or anyone else in the family) is not suddenly going to give her blessing for your marriage.
QSL... the times I have been out with my 2 lovely Egyptian boys and their Mums have called for them to go get them something from the store or go home and help her do something obscure which she could do herself is amazing. The boys go though as they have ultimate respect and love for their Mums, these guys would never lie to or deceive anyone in their family. You are right, blood is thicker than water.
LA clearly has no clue about Egyptian lifestyle or culture. Also clearly doesn't wanna listen either and has nailed this poor woman as a psycho!!!
And like I said on another thread yesterday, just becasue Egyptians do things differently it doesn't make them wrong.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
Our marriage isnt a secret, his father knows, his best friends know, my family knows... His mother doesnt at this time, because she will harm herself...Islam is his life and he follows closely...but were all human arent we ? I never said he is in anyway perfect but as much as I mentioned the concerns I have I wanted to be fair in showing that he has done a lot that is good. He could be an extremely good liar and manipulator, actor....and more....but im basing what I see on more then words, on actions he has taken with me several times over the past years. Much things he did for me he never had to.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: So he wants to keep the marriage a secret from his own Mum, in Egypt this means that your marriage won't be publicly recognised and therefore under Islam, not a true marriage.
Good to read you think he is following Islam correctly.
How do you know he isn't lying to you? How can you guarantee that his words on MSN are all true. The more I read about how perfect he is the more it seems quite unlikely to be true!
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: Our marriage isnt a secret, his father knows, his best friends know, my family knows... His mother doesnt at this time, because she will harm herself...Islam is his life and he follows closely...but were all human arent we ? I never said he is in anyway perfect but as much as I mentioned the concerns I have I wanted to be fair in showing that he has done a lot that is good. He could be an extremely good liar and manipulator, actor....and more....but im basing what I see on more then words, on actions he has taken with me several times over the past years. Much things he did for me he never had to.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: So he wants to keep the marriage a secret from his own Mum, in Egypt this means that your marriage won't be publicly recognised and therefore under Islam, not a true marriage.
Good to read you think he is following Islam correctly.
How do you know he isn't lying to you? How can you guarantee that his words on MSN are all true. The more I read about how perfect he is the more it seems quite unlikely to be true!
Yeah we are all human but some of us don't have rose coloured glasses....
Well you seem to have concluded that all is fine, he follows Islam correctly, his family all bar the nutter have given you their blessing and he is the best thing since sliced bread. He has never asked you for anything and all he does is support you on MSN whenever you need him
Yours clearly is different.
I wish you years of blissful happiness and joy I am sure it will be a breeze.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Clear and QSY:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: It is lovely idea, but if your mother will not sit and refuses to listen to a word your saying to her...and when u tell her this is your choice, she tells you she will harm herself if you go against her...then what ? How do you deal with who is not rational and fair ? Under most normal circumstances this is how any person would approach the situation. BUT his mom is not able to hear and digest anything except what she wants. Does being committed to his mother, mean he has to give in to her controling nature and do all things she says ? Again, this woman is not reasonable.
The problem is you are approaching this from a complete Western perspective. You are perplexed that she would control her son for the rest of his life and not "want him to have the life he wants". Sure, a Western mother would eventually let her son live his own life even if his choices are not what she wanted for him.
You say she is irrational and unreasonable. The rest of us are saying this is normal for an Egyptian mother.
It's not going to change. She (or anyone else in the family) is not suddenly going to give her blessing for your marriage.
I dont expect her to change and I understand this is Egyptian mother behaviour..but I have to tell you that his mom goes beyong the traditional behaviour... what is a son supposed to do if he doesnt choose this life that is planned for him? I have told him just do as she asks if you want to make her ok...and his says as she asks is not a choice, its not life as he wants. How to fix that ?
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Oh don't worry, he can have 4 wives, he can always get a nice local girl to help soothe his Mum Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: Our marriage isnt a secret, his father knows, his best friends know, my family knows... His mother doesnt at this time, because she will harm herself...Islam is his life and he follows closely...but were all human arent we ? I never said he is in anyway perfect but as much as I mentioned the concerns I have I wanted to be fair in showing that he has done a lot that is good. He could be an extremely good liar and manipulator, actor....and more....but im basing what I see on more then words, on actions he has taken with me several times over the past years. Much things he did for me he never had to.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: So he wants to keep the marriage a secret from his own Mum, in Egypt this means that your marriage won't be publicly recognised and therefore under Islam, not a true marriage.
Good to read you think he is following Islam correctly.
How do you know he isn't lying to you? How can you guarantee that his words on MSN are all true. The more I read about how perfect he is the more it seems quite unlikely to be true!
Yeah we are all human but some of us don't have rose coloured glasses....
Well you seem to have concluded that all is fine, he follows Islam correctly, his family all bar the nutter have given you their blessing and he is the best thing since sliced bread. He has never asked you for anything and all he does is support you on MSN whenever you need him
Yours clearly is different.
I wish you years of blissful happiness and joy I am sure it will be a breeze.
Im not seeing things through any glasses, or I would have bothered to post here initially now would I ? Again, I was trying to give a clear picture of the situation. And my husband has done much beyond words on MSN, as I said he has done a lot for me that has been real actions, that he never had to do.
Posted by Clear and QSY (Member # 15597) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: I dont expect her to change and I understand this is Egyptian mother behaviour..but I have to tell you that his mom goes beyong the traditional behaviour... what is a son supposed to do if he doesnt choose this life that is planned for him? I have told him just do as she asks if you want to make her ok...and his says as she asks is not a choice, its not life as he wants. How to fix that ?
You can't fix it. I don't think she's going way beyond traditional behavior at all. You are the only one who sees it that way. Egyptian mothers are all about drama when they want to be. Nothing unusual about that at all. You just have to realize you are not the first girl to lose an Egyptian man to his family's demands and obligations. The power and control exerted over men (by their families) in this culture is never ending - even when the guy is well into his 50's. The guy can cry on your shoulder all he wants and tell you all about his dream life with you in Canada. You can't blame him can you? If you were destined to lead a life someone else chose for you (as many Egyptian men and women are), wouldn't you dream of and reach for another no matter how far fetched a fantasy life it was?
It's just a no-win situation you are in. There's nothing abnormal about the situation or his mother.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
And the only reason your marriage is no longer a secret is because his family accidentally found out when they found the marriage papers. You would still be a secret otherwise.
He didn't do you the courtesy of informing them through common decency!!!
I feel for his Mum!
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
I guess all is really in the hands of GOD, and in time everything will become clear as it always does in life. Everything happens for a reason. and again, you cant inform anyone who refuses to listen.
Posted by desolation row (Member # 17648) on :
Precisely but in this case the one who refuses to listen is you. Honestly, I don't think you really want advice as much as you want to vent out your frustration about your situation. Which is fine. You know your situation is not good. Regardless of the real truth, it's not good. I don't get how you think being hidden is ok. Nor do I get accepting the fact that your husband, his friend and your father-in-law are lying to your mother-in-law just to pacify her, temporarily. If my inlaws hated me or my marriage so much that I had to be hidden or part of a lie, I'd have to bow out to save my own dignity. You're a mother, what are you teaching your children about self-respect, self-worth and dignity if you accept being so shameful that you're hidden and lied about? There are so many men in Egypt, Canada, the rest of the world who wouldn't put you in this position. I won't dispute your husband's love for you as I don't know you or him, but I will dispute his courage and family values. Your mother-in-law may be a selfish, whiny, domineering woman but she's still the mother of your husband and she will be in his life forever. Is this really a situation you want to be a part of? Is this a situation you want your children involved in? Mother-in-laws have a long reach, she will still be meddling even half a world away.
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: you cant inform anyone who refuses to listen.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
How much do you make things about just ureself in this life, that is the question...i guess if im functioning in life solely on ego then my first concern would be being hidden. Right now, my husband is suffering as well, not just me. You think he really wants things like this ? Im sincerely trying to see the entire picture and how each person feels in this. And I have made it very simple for my husband to choose his family and divorce me, I would understand this choice. However it happened, this man is my husband now and I can't just throw my arms up and walk away wihtout trying to find a way to resolve this. I feel he has great courage to have even married me and actually going outside of the mold and going for the life he actually wants. I dont know where under the description of having family values includes giving into a controling parent to the point of living a life you dont want for ureself. As much as he wants to take care of them always and be there for them he does not agree to them choocing who he will marry or who he will divorce. I see my husband does everything for his parents..when I was there he sent money home for them several times, bought his fathers medications...etc...he will do anything for them but he just doesnt want to live what they have planned for him. Did you ever think that maybe my husbands father can see that his wife is not being fair and reasonable ? My husbands best friend defended me because he has met me and knows that I am a kind and good person who only wants good for my husband and did not intend any wrong to anyone...he saw my husband and I together and could see our connection and devotion to each other. Before I came to Egypt I know he even had his doubts about us, but seeing us together, this all changed. My husband feels if only in time his mom can also be open to seeing us as we are, God knows we only want good, she will come around as well. I can easily just walk away, and this would all disappear pretty quickly, but thats not the answer at this minute.Usually the easy choice, is the wrong choice. Advice is taken, and trust me I think about all that is said and I respect all advice that is delivered in a respectful manner...but when ppl get rude and say things that are not necessary, its hard to take them seriously. If anyone I know is hard on themselves, its me. You know if my in laws had reason to hate me, and I had demonstrated some bad behaviour that was not forgivable, then I would agree with you and just walk away..but what they are doing is not right. Self respect and self worth are measured diffeently by everyone...u may see self worth ans being a strong woman who divorces her husband and walks away from him cause his family isnt being supportive another may see self worth and standing by ure choices and seeing them through to the end despite a very difficult situation...not giving up. Its all in ones perspective and based on personal values and belief...everything is in how we choose to look at it.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Ok, lets back track:
Are you married legally or do you have an Orfi?
How many actual weeks have you spent together in person. Not online?
Where does he live in Egypt?
What is his job?
You are a mother... would you want to see your children leading a life you disapprove of? would you try to deter them?
How long have you been converted to Muslim?
How good is your Arabic?
When is he flying to Canada?
Will he have a job there? How good is his English?
Do your children know their step-dad?
Courage to marry you lmao... he had the courage as he didn't tell anybody about it! If anything he lacked courage by not telling people about you.
Posted by *Dalia* (Member # 13012) on :
Hi learningarabic
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: Our marriage isnt a secret, his father knows, his best friends know, my family knows...
That might not be a secret by your standards, but by Egyptian standards it is dodgy, to say the least.
To you it might be normal to have a small private wedding ceremony without your in-laws being involved or even knowing about it, but in Egypt marriage is a big deal. I'm sure you've heard about the wedding parties and the whole hype surrounding them.
You sound like a reasonable person but, as others have already pointed out, you are judging things from your own cultural perspective and that might prevent you from seeing the situation clearly.
I would also be curious about the answers to the questions above, as that might make it a bit easier for people here to be able to evaluate your situation and give advice.
Best of luck, and I hope you'll find a solution that gives you peace.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
We are legally married at the MOJ, had our papers stamped form the canadian embassy and had a lawyer we hired draw up an aidditonal contract as well with certian specification I asked for...and he added dowry for marriage and in event of a divorce.
I spent 4 weeks in Cairo
He lives with his parents most of the time in their home and sometimes he is with this best friend in Cairo as it is easier to travel to work. Id rather not give out the name of the town he lives in.
He is a Network Engineer and works in his field in one of the biggest companies in Egypt
As a mother, I will not decide the lives of my kids..i raise them and guide them to the best of my ability, provide then with tools and advice but in the end they will choose for themselves..this is their life to live, and they will make good and bad choices, all I hope is that they learn form every situation. It's not me to approve of their life, if they are happy, so am I. If they make mistakes I will be the first to help them through, but I cannot and will not force my opinions on them.
I am not converted to Islam...my husband has asked me to study the Quran and have an open heart to it. In the end he said its my choice and he will respect me in this choice. I know he's hoping I convert but he has made it clear it must come from me and not to do it for him. If I choose not to convert, and we stay married,I will do all i can to support and encourage his beliefs and adjust to his needs in this. If we ever have kids, they will be raised muslim.
Im presently learning Arabic, I have just started so my knowledge is still minimal. I decided on my own to learn, however, husband is encouraging me with hopes at some point I will be able to communicate with his family.
He is completly fluent in english...he's writing skills are amazing and better then mine, he corrects my grammar sometimes. He also knows some french and is presently learning more. I have no doubt he will be able to get a job here, his field is very much the same everywhere in the world.
My children know him as a friend for the time being. They communicate with him on the phone and sometimes in mail..he plays games with my sons on line..They do not know were married yet, we decided to plan a wedding celebration here with my family when he gets here, and at this time they will be introduced to our marriage. Im not sure what will happen so I have chosen to not tell them and complicate things further.
Again, u do not have the full story, and his family, especially his mother, cannot accept anything but what she has in her mind for him. She is not open to anything and does not listen to anything being said to her. He does not want the life she has planned for him..he wants to care for her and his dad in every way he can but he doesnt want to live in their home, or marry who they choose. She is against him even going to work sometimes and rather he would stay home beside her...I suppose he should ?
Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
Instead of going for a spouse visa to canada, why not try for a tourist visa. They last six months and then you can make sure you two can live there happily before making a massive ste, esp as it seems you haven't spent much time together in person.
Also, why do I seem to always read people saying "we'll raise our children muslim", what is so wrong with teaching your children both of your beliefs, and letting the child decide? Surely husbands should have enough respect for their wife's beliefs to allow that? Or is the husband's religion superior?
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by *Dalia*: Hi learningarabic
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: Our marriage isnt a secret, his father knows, his best friends know, my family knows...
That might not be a secret by your standards, but by Egyptian standards it is dodgy, to say the least.
To you it might be normal to have a small private wedding ceremony without your in-laws being involved or even knowing about it, but in Egypt marriage is a big deal. I'm sure you've heard about the wedding parties and the whole hype surrounding them.
You sound like a reasonable person but, as others have already pointed out, you are judging things from your own cultural perspective and that might prevent you from seeing the situation clearly.
I would also be curious about the answers to the questions above, as that might make it a bit easier for people here to be able to evaluate your situation and give advice.
Best of luck, and I hope you'll find a solution that gives you peace.
Im really not in anyway judging my MIL or my husbands family. I know they are doing what they see best based on their beliefs and what they know. They dont know me and we married without their knowledge...this was wrong. Im explaining my situation and trying to make clear why telling them was so difficult and why my husband did as he did.
I hope and pray for a good outcome....
Be in peace
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty: Instead of going for a spouse visa to canada, why not try for a tourist visa. They last six months and then you can make sure you two can live there happily before making a massive ste, esp as it seems you haven't spent much time together in person.
Also, why do I seem to always read people saying "we'll raise our children muslim", what is so wrong with teaching your children both of your beliefs, and letting the child decide? Surely husbands should have enough respect for their wife's beliefs to allow that? Or is the husband's religion superior?
This is good advice, especially after only a month of being with him... who is to say he won't loathe where you live?
Husbands should have respect for their wife's beliefs... always. But LA wants to convert so they will have the same beliefs Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty: Instead of going for a spouse visa to canada, why not try for a tourist visa. They last six months and then you can make sure you two can live there happily before making a massive ste, esp as it seems you haven't spent much time together in person.
Also, why do I seem to always read people saying "we'll raise our children muslim", what is so wrong with teaching your children both of your beliefs, and letting the child decide? Surely husbands should have enough respect for their wife's beliefs to allow that? Or is the husband's religion superior?
This is good advice, especially after only a month of being with him... who is to say he won't loathe where you live?
Husbands should have respect for their wife's beliefs... always. But LA wants to convert so they will have the same beliefs
Thank you for ure time and posts, Be in Peace
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
I am always in Peace Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty:
Also, why do I seem to always read people saying "we'll raise our children muslim", what is so wrong with teaching your children both of your beliefs, and letting the child decide? Surely husbands should have enough respect for their wife's beliefs to allow that? Or is the husband's religion superior?
exactly what i told walid...let the children decide when they get older.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
I have deep faith in God, but I would have to say Im more of a spiritual person then a religious person. If I had strong religious practices or beliefs I would most likely feel differently but because I dont and my husband is strong in his religion, I think this is best..
I think all children do decide when they get older, no matter what you teach them..but if as parents ure religious, you will most likely choose to teach them this religion as they grow..in the end they grow up and decide for themselves as we all did. I have no problem with my chilren choosing Islam.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: I have deep faith in God, but I would have to say Im more of a spiritual person then a religious person. If I had strong religious practices or beliefs I would most likely feel differently but because I dont and my husband is strong in his religion, I think this is best..
I think all children do decide when they get older, no matter what you teach them..but if as parents ure religious, you will most likely choose to teach them this religion as they grow..in the end they grow up and decide for themselves as we all did. I have no problem with my chilren choosing Islam.
You have no problem with them choosing Islam but you have said any future children will be raised as muslims, in that case you need to know your husband will consider them Muslim and if they choose later to leave they will be called apostate and liable to be killed for leaving Islam.
If you are considering having children with him you also need to know his views on FGM incase you have a girl.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: We are legally married at the MOJ, had our papers stamped form the canadian embassy and had a lawyer we hired draw up an aidditonal contract as well with certian specification I asked for...and he added dowry for marriage and in event of a divorce.
I spent 4 weeks in Cairo
He lives with his parents most of the time in their home and sometimes he is with this best friend in Cairo as it is easier to travel to work. Id rather not give out the name of the town he lives in.
He is a Network Engineer and works in his field in one of the biggest companies in Egypt
As a mother, I will not decide the lives of my kids..i raise them and guide them to the best of my ability, provide then with tools and advice but in the end they will choose for themselves..this is their life to live, and they will make good and bad choices, all I hope is that they learn form every situation. It's not me to approve of their life, if they are happy, so am I. If they make mistakes I will be the first to help them through, but I cannot and will not force my opinions on them.
I am not converted to Islam...my husband has asked me to study the Quran and have an open heart to it. In the end he said its my choice and he will respect me in this choice. I know he's hoping I convert but he has made it clear it must come from me and not to do it for him. If I choose not to convert, and we stay married,I will do all i can to support and encourage his beliefs and adjust to his needs in this. If we ever have kids, they will be raised muslim.
Im presently learning Arabic, I have just started so my knowledge is still minimal. I decided on my own to learn, however, husband is encouraging me with hopes at some point I will be able to communicate with his family.
He is completly fluent in english...he's writing skills are amazing and better then mine, he corrects my grammar sometimes. He also knows some french and is presently learning more. I have no doubt he will be able to get a job here, his field is very much the same everywhere in the world.
My children know him as a friend for the time being. They communicate with him on the phone and sometimes in mail..he plays games with my sons on line..They do not know were married yet, we decided to plan a wedding celebration here with my family when he gets here, and at this time they will be introduced to our marriage. Im not sure what will happen so I have chosen to not tell them and complicate things further.
Again, u do not have the full story, and his family, especially his mother, cannot accept anything but what she has in her mind for him. She is not open to anything and does not listen to anything being said to her. He does not want the life she has planned for him..he wants to care for her and his dad in every way he can but he doesnt want to live in their home, or marry who they choose. She is against him even going to work sometimes and rather he would stay home beside her...I suppose he should ?
There's another wife of an Egyptian around here who's husband worked as a network engineer.
Now he's working at a gas station.
How many Arabs in your community do you know?
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: I have deep faith in God, but I would have to say Im more of a spiritual person then a religious person. If I had strong religious practices or beliefs I would most likely feel differently but because I dont and my husband is strong in his religion, I think this is best..
I think all children do decide when they get older, no matter what you teach them..but if as parents ure religious, you will most likely choose to teach them this religion as they grow..in the end they grow up and decide for themselves as we all did. I have no problem with my chilren choosing Islam.
You have no problem with them choosing Islam but you have said any future children will be raised as muslims, in that case you need to know your husband will consider them Muslim and if they choose later to leave they will be called apostate and liable to be killed for leaving Islam.
If you are considering having children with him you also need to know his views on FGM incase you have a girl.
My husband and I have discussed FGM, it was one of the first things we spoke of in regards to my concarns about Islam. He told me that Islam does not require this, its more of a culture thing an he does not want his daughter to have this at all.
And I said that , as in any religion, when parents have beliefs its standard to pass these on to your children. Just like as catholics we baptize our children, we decide this for them. We raise them and teach them according to our beliefs. I have agree to raise our children and my husband will teach them according to Islam..in the end we all get to the point where we choose for ourselves..if we want to continue or not. I hope they will choose Islam but if they do not it will be their choice...and my husband would surely be disappointed if they chose not to but nobody is going to kill them. I know quite a few ex Muslims who converted to various religions and they are all still well and alive. We will be raising kids here in Canada, just to clarify...
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: I have deep faith in God, but I would have to say Im more of a spiritual person then a religious person. If I had strong religious practices or beliefs I would most likely feel differently but because I dont and my husband is strong in his religion, I think this is best..
I think all children do decide when they get older, no matter what you teach them..but if as parents ure religious, you will most likely choose to teach them this religion as they grow..in the end they grow up and decide for themselves as we all did. I have no problem with my chilren choosing Islam.
You have no problem with them choosing Islam but you have said any future children will be raised as muslims, in that case you need to know your husband will consider them Muslim and if they choose later to leave they will be called apostate and liable to be killed for leaving Islam.
If you are considering having children with him you also need to know his views on FGM incase you have a girl.
My husband and I have discussed FGM, it was one of the first things we spoke of in regards to my concarns about Islam. He told me that Islam does not require this, its more of a culture thing an he does not want his daughter to have this at all.
And I said that , as in any religion, when parents have beliefs its standard to pass these on to your children. Just like as catholics we baptize our children, we decide this for them. We raise them and teach them according to our beliefs. I have agree to raise our children and my husband will teach them according to Islam..in the end we all get to the point where we choose for ourselves..if we want to continue or not. I hope they will choose Islam but if they do not it will be their choice...and my husband would surely be disappointed if they chose not to but nobody is going to kill them. I know quite a few ex Muslims who converted to various religions and they are all still well and alive. We will be raising kids here in Canada, just to clarify...
seems like you got everything covered then. I wish you both a long and happy life and heaps more kids. Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic: We are legally married at the MOJ, had our papers stamped form the canadian embassy and had a lawyer we hired draw up an aidditonal contract as well with certian specification I asked for...and he added dowry for marriage and in event of a divorce.
I spent 4 weeks in Cairo
He lives with his parents most of the time in their home and sometimes he is with this best friend in Cairo as it is easier to travel to work. Id rather not give out the name of the town he lives in.
He is a Network Engineer and works in his field in one of the biggest companies in Egypt
As a mother, I will not decide the lives of my kids..i raise them and guide them to the best of my ability, provide then with tools and advice but in the end they will choose for themselves..this is their life to live, and they will make good and bad choices, all I hope is that they learn form every situation. It's not me to approve of their life, if they are happy, so am I. If they make mistakes I will be the first to help them through, but I cannot and will not force my opinions on them.
I am not converted to Islam...my husband has asked me to study the Quran and have an open heart to it. In the end he said its my choice and he will respect me in this choice. I know he's hoping I convert but he has made it clear it must come from me and not to do it for him. If I choose not to convert, and we stay married,I will do all i can to support and encourage his beliefs and adjust to his needs in this. If we ever have kids, they will be raised muslim.
Im presently learning Arabic, I have just started so my knowledge is still minimal. I decided on my own to learn, however, husband is encouraging me with hopes at some point I will be able to communicate with his family.
He is completly fluent in english...he's writing skills are amazing and better then mine, he corrects my grammar sometimes. He also knows some french and is presently learning more. I have no doubt he will be able to get a job here, his field is very much the same everywhere in the world.
My children know him as a friend for the time being. They communicate with him on the phone and sometimes in mail..he plays games with my sons on line..They do not know were married yet, we decided to plan a wedding celebration here with my family when he gets here, and at this time they will be introduced to our marriage. Im not sure what will happen so I have chosen to not tell them and complicate things further.
Again, u do not have the full story, and his family, especially his mother, cannot accept anything but what she has in her mind for him. She is not open to anything and does not listen to anything being said to her. He does not want the life she has planned for him..he wants to care for her and his dad in every way he can but he doesnt want to live in their home, or marry who they choose. She is against him even going to work sometimes and rather he would stay home beside her...I suppose he should ?
There's another wife of an Egyptian around here who's husband worked as a network engineer.
Now he's working at a gas station.
How many Arabs in your community do you know?
Im sorry this persons husband does not have a job, but if we lived making decisions based on every other persons unfortunate events we would not live. I believe in being reasonable but hopeful. I would hope he's able to find a job in his field in due time..he's constantly upgrading his skills an advancing in his field...I have confidence he will and really this is the last of my worries right now..we will survive either way. Network engineer's work will not have differences in standards from country to country, all is functioning in the same way. So actually this is a plus and my husbands language skills are avanced.
also
I have a few arabic friends, just within my place of employment there is several. I live in an area in which there is a wide range of cultures and nationalities...if I ha to pick a place for an immigrant to be when forst moving here, it would be in the city in which I live.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: There's another wife of an Egyptian around here who's husband worked as a network engineer.
Now he's working at a gas station.
How many Arabs in your community do you know?
Im sorry this persons husband does not have a job, but if we lived making decisions based on every other persons unfortunate events we would not live. I believe in being reasonable but hopeful. I would hope he's able to find a job in his field in due time..he's constantly upgrading his skills an advancing in his field...I have confidence he will and really this is the last of my worries right now..we will survive either way. Network engineer's work will not have differences in standards from country to country, all is functioning in the same way. So actually this is a plus and my husbands language skills are avanced.
also
I have a few arabic friends, just within my place of employment there is several. I live in an area in which there is a wide range of cultures and nationalities...if I ha to pick a place for an immigrant to be when forst moving here, it would be in the city in which I live.
Okay she made the same statements in regards to her husband's prospects.
I actually work in IT and I know IT managers don't hire a network engineer from another nation unless he has a solid 5 years of experience here as a network engineer.
I questioned the lass I referred to about this before her husband's arrival as well.
Language skills always sound advanced in their comfortable surroundings. A TOEFL test doesn't really indicate how someone will do in the west language-wise. Culture shock hits people very hard and reduces their communication capacity let alone foreign language capacity in a way they don't expect.
And by the way there are huge differences in the manner a IT department is run, and the very same hardware and software is installed, configured, managed and the laws dictating how those systems are run is different from region to region, state to state, nation to nation.
I hope you stick around because 18 months after he arrives I would like to ask you these same questions again.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Also not all qualifications are internationally recognised or are globally transferable.
Posted by Penny (Member # 1925) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by Penny:
So tell me what do you do if your parents are completly controlling your life and what they have planned for you is not what you want for ure life at all ? You have tried several tmes to express your thoughts and feelings and not to be listened to at all....you do what next ? Just give in and live a lfe you dont want ? The pressure here is beyond average and this is not and easy situation. It is not abnormal here in the west for kids to keep things from their parents, I see this all the time..and here in most circumstances we accept the ppl our children marry wether we want to or not..society is not the same.
LA this MIL is not going to self harm herself ( if you have seen an Egyptian with a small cut you will know what I mean...total babies). If your husband is for real then he needs to cut all the drama short, as a quick pain is better than a long drawn out one. He has FIL on side, so stop the lies tell his family what he is going to do and then get on and do it. His family will get over it, they will not reject him and in the end you can all move forward with normal life. If necessary while you are applying for VISA's he should move out the family home and during this time make peace with his family before leaving.
If on the other hand he continues to drag all this out you can be sure you are going to be presented with the answer of an Egyptian wife to keep his mother happy and of course he will not love her etc etc etc....and your family will become the cash cow for his other family in Egypt when he eventually joins you.
The situation is in yours and his hands to resolve. He made the decison to marry you and now if he is as courageous as you say he needs to move on with his life but he can't have it both ways. Someone has to be hurt yes, but nobody is going to die. We all get over hurts in out lives but to live in a constant drama is just unhealthy.
Don't start you married life as a doormat tell him to get on and resolve things and if not just move on ...life's to short and you can't be a very happy mum for your sons living like this.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: There's another wife of an Egyptian around here who's husband worked as a network engineer.
Now he's working at a gas station.
How many Arabs in your community do you know?
Im sorry this persons husband does not have a job, but if we lived making decisions based on every other persons unfortunate events we would not live. I believe in being reasonable but hopeful. I would hope he's able to find a job in his field in due time..he's constantly upgrading his skills an advancing in his field...I have confidence he will and really this is the last of my worries right now..we will survive either way. Network engineer's work will not have differences in standards from country to country, all is functioning in the same way. So actually this is a plus and my husbands language skills are avanced.
also
I have a few arabic friends, just within my place of employment there is several. I live in an area in which there is a wide range of cultures and nationalities...if I ha to pick a place for an immigrant to be when forst moving here, it would be in the city in which I live.
Okay she made the same statements in regards to her husband's prospects.
I actually work in IT and I know IT managers don't hire a network engineer from another nation unless he has a solid 5 years of experience here as a network engineer.
I questioned the lass I referred to about this before her husband's arrival as well.
Language skills always sound advanced in their comfortable surroundings. A TOEFL test doesn't really indicate how someone will do in the west language-wise. Culture shock hits people very hard and reduces their communication capacity let alone foreign language capacity in a way they don't expect.
And by the way there are huge differences in the manner a IT department is run, and the very same hardware and software is installed, configured, managed and the laws dictating how those systems are run is different from region to region, state to state, nation to nation.
I hope you stick around because 18 months after he arrives I would like to ask you these same questions again.
Why woul you like to ask these questions again, with hope that I can confirm he's working at Mcdonalds ?? Really, giving advice is lovely and appreciated by all who post here Im sure, but why always search for whatever negative you can find ? My problem is my MIL, not my husbands potential job, as I said this is the least of my worries right now. He is worrying about this and I can assure you his english is excellent both spoke an written..where he works now, almost all the commnunication is done in english as he's dealing with other countries most of the time. If he has to start at the bottom here in his field, so be it. In his job, he's very good. He got promoted quickly in his company an passed other employees much older then him who have longer experience...maybe this will happen here, Inshallah. Positive attitude never hurts
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Also not all qualifications are internationally recognised or are globally transferable.
Internet is the same all over the world, its not like other engineering fields or medecin where standards change
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Penny:
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by Penny:
So tell me what do you do if your parents are completly controlling your life and what they have planned for you is not what you want for ure life at all ? You have tried several tmes to express your thoughts and feelings and not to be listened to at all....you do what next ? Just give in and live a lfe you dont want ? The pressure here is beyond average and this is not and easy situation. It is not abnormal here in the west for kids to keep things from their parents, I see this all the time..and here in most circumstances we accept the ppl our children marry wether we want to or not..society is not the same.
LA this MIL is not going to self harm herself ( if you have seen an Egyptian with a small cut you will know what I mean...total babies). If your husband is for real then he needs to cut all the drama short, as a quick pain is better than a long drawn out one. He has FIL on side, so stop the lies tell his family what he is going to do and then get on and do it. His family will get over it, they will not reject him and in the end you can all move forward with normal life. If necessary while you are applying for VISA's he should move out the family home and during this time make peace with his family before leaving.
If on the other hand he continues to drag all this out you can be sure you are going to be presented with the answer of an Egyptian wife to keep his mother happy and of course he will not love her etc etc etc....and your family will become the cash cow for his other family in Egypt when he eventually joins you.
The situation is in yours and his hands to resolve. He made the decison to marry you and now if he is as courageous as you say he needs to move on with his life but he can't have it both ways. Someone has to be hurt yes, but nobody is going to die. We all get over hurts in out lives but to live in a constant drama is just unhealthy.
Don't start you married life as a doormat tell him to get on and resolve things and if not just move on ...life's to short and you can't be a very happy mum for your sons living like this.
The plan at this time is to tell the family a month before he leaves Egypt...this way he will have time to deal with them before he gets here. In the mean time he's trying to spend as much time with them as possible.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
So he has no qualifications?
The Internet may be the same but if a role requires a qualification does your husband not have any?
That is why in Egypt students are given the opportunity to go for an IGCSE... 'I' representing the word INTERNATIONAL and the GCSE being the General Certificate that children in the UK can obtain. This for e.g. is a transferable qualification.
As are the ones I obtained in the UK, they are recognised here in Egypt and surely my role is pretty generic as well!
A qualification in English would enhance his job prospects further than merely applying for a job stating he can speak English.
I can put on my resume I am fluent in Arabic a) I am not and b) if I was a certificate to support my words would be a great advantage.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Do not forget he will also need a letter of recommendation from his employer to prove how long he has worked for the company and to evidence what he says he can do.
You really don't emigrate and expect to walk into a job with evidence of your capabilities.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: So he has no qualifications?
The Internet may be the same but if a role requires a qualification does your husband not have any?
That is why in Egypt students are given the opportunity to go for an IGCSE... 'I' representing the word INTERNATIONAL and the GCSE being the General Certificate that children in the UK can obtain. This for e.g. is a transferable qualification.
As are the ones I obtained in the UK, they are recognised here in Egypt and surely my role is pretty generic as well!
A qualification in English would enhance his job prospects further than merely applying for a job stating he can speak English.
I can put on my resume I am fluent in Arabic a) I am not and b) if I was a certificate to support my words would be a great advantage.
My husband is a network and communication engineer( he has a university degree)..one method of communication is the internet. However, communications is the same through out the world, were all connected on the same wires lol...things function the same.. So its global. We have checked into this already.
He has worked in his field for 5 years now..thank you for the suggestion of the letters, thankfully we thought of this and they have been made, translated to english and stamped by the ministry of foreign affairs. As well as all his diplomas.
Posted by learningarabic (Member # 17595) on :
I hope he gets a good position, but really we are quite aware he will start most likely at the bottom..
Posted by desolation row (Member # 17648) on :
I like what you said here.
This topic isn't about your husband's ability to find employment but I do like your attitude about it. While your husband may have some difficulties initially that doesn't mean he could never find work in his field. It depends on a lot of factors, luck and knowing the right people being the biggest factors, in my experience. He may have to start at the bottom, like you said, and he may have start off working in other professions that may be beneath him in order to gain work experience in your country.
Originally posted by learningarabic: "if we lived making decisions based on every other persons unfortunate events we would not live. I believe in being reasonable but hopeful."
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: So he has no qualifications?
The Internet may be the same but if a role requires a qualification does your husband not have any?
That is why in Egypt students are given the opportunity to go for an IGCSE... 'I' representing the word INTERNATIONAL and the GCSE being the General Certificate that children in the UK can obtain. This for e.g. is a transferable qualification.
As are the ones I obtained in the UK, they are recognised here in Egypt and surely my role is pretty generic as well!
A qualification in English would enhance his job prospects further than merely applying for a job stating he can speak English.
I can put on my resume I am fluent in Arabic a) I am not and b) if I was a certificate to support my words would be a great advantage.
My husband is a network and communication engineer( he has a university degree)..one method of communication is the internet. However, communications is the same through out the world, were all connected on the same wires lol...things function the same.. So its global. We have checked into this already.
He has worked in his field for 5 years now..thank you for the suggestion of the letters, thankfully we thought of this and they have been made, translated to english and stamped by the ministry of foreign affairs. As well as all his diplomas.
Yes, the internet is the same globally but required qualifications to be employed in the first place differ
I am simply informing you that a degree in Egypt MAY not be an equivalent to a Western degree. It may be worth more, but it may be worth less.
If there is a good EO policy in Canada then English as his second language should be of no issue.
Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
So you have only spent four weeks with this guy, and now you want to apply for a settlement visa, bring him home to your children, who only know him as a friend, and I assume have never met him, and say: "This is Muhammed (I took a guess), you may call him New Daddy, he will be living with us now". And then of course three weeks down the line you might realise Mr Egyptian isn't so wonderful, you are sick and tired of feeling like a mother to another child, or he might hate the country, and so you will have to tell your kids: "Children, say good bye to New Daddy, he no longer lives here". Each to there own I guess. I would still personally go the tourist visa route first, esp as there are children involved.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
WK, the girl I mentioned in another thread who got a speedy visa... within one month he could not find work, turned to booze beat her, was jealous of her child and ex and was shipped out as quickly as he was shipped in. DIVORCE.
You can take the man out of Egypt but.............
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: Okay she made the same statements in regards to her husband's prospects.
I actually work in IT and I know IT managers don't hire a network engineer from another nation unless he has a solid 5 years of experience here as a network engineer.
I questioned the lass I referred to about this before her husband's arrival as well.
Language skills always sound advanced in their comfortable surroundings. A TOEFL test doesn't really indicate how someone will do in the west language-wise. Culture shock hits people very hard and reduces their communication capacity let alone foreign language capacity in a way they don't expect.
And by the way there are huge differences in the manner a IT department is run, and the very same hardware and software is installed, configured, managed and the laws dictating how those systems are run is different from region to region, state to state, nation to nation.
I hope you stick around because 18 months after he arrives I would like to ask you these same questions again.
Why woul you like to ask these questions again, with hope that I can confirm he's working at Mcdonalds ?? Really, giving advice is lovely and appreciated by all who post here Im sure, but why always search for whatever negative you can find ? My problem is my MIL, not my husbands potential job, as I said this is the least of my worries right now. He is worrying about this and I can assure you his english is excellent both spoke an written..where he works now, almost all the commnunication is done in english as he's dealing with other countries most of the time. If he has to start at the bottom here in his field, so be it. In his job, he's very good. He got promoted quickly in his company an passed other employees much older then him who have longer experience...maybe this will happen here, Inshallah. Positive attitude never hurts
There's a huge difference between positive attitude and reality.
As I stated I work in IT and I've watched classmates who actually earned American degrees be rejected just for being foreign. IT professionals are some of the most racist individuals I have ever met. Yet if they aren't racist themselves they won't challenge a co-worker who is.
An IT degree in Egypt is not transferable to North America. Heck even a Comp Sci degree from France is not considered equal to a North American degree. And after inquiring with an global employer those Cisco, Microsoft, CompTIA certification testing in India are not the same as the Cisco, Microsoft, CompTIA certifications here Stateside. If these certifications were equal globally I would've gone and did my testing in Cairo and saved a bundle but that would've been a waste.
When he's in Canada 7,000 miles away the problem with his mother will contort into a beast you cannot imagine.
Getting him to leave Egypt for Canada is the least of your worries, how his mother will work to change your relationship via manipulation is what you should be concerned about.
And why on earth are you so convinced that all your plans/expectations will be met even at minimum standards?
Not specifically to confirm that he's working in MacDonalds. No I would like to verify how you feel about carrying the burden of the household while he's disappointed in his professional prospects.
It sounds to me as if you are approaching this marriage as an "upgrade" over your ex. Many other divorced western women has done the same with very bad results.
Posted by Two (Member # 17234) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: You can take the man out of Egypt but.............
not before you suck him Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Two:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: You can take the man out of Egypt but.............
not before you suck him
What ever you do in you free time is your business Posted by Clear and QSY (Member # 15597) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: An IT degree in Egypt is not transferable to North America.
Same can be said for just about any degree from Egypt.
Not worth the paper they are printed on.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Don't forget to take copies of his Thanaweya Amma and language proficiency tests as well. I am sure they will help him to climb the ladder quicker.
Posted by akshar (Member # 1680) on :
quote:Originally posted by learningarabic:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Also not all qualifications are internationally recognised or are globally transferable.
Internet is the same all over the world, its not like other engineering fields or medecin where standards change
As a former IT consultant I have to correct you, the way they do things in Egypt is like no IT department I have ever worked in. Does he and his company use ISO standards. Exactly they dont even know what those mean out here. As for giving work to a foreigner, every company I have worked for want a proven track record. Getting the first job is intensively competative esp with all the university graduates
Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
quote: WK, the girl I mentioned in another thread who got a speedy visa... within one month he could not find work, turned to booze beat her, was jealous of her child and ex and was shipped out as quickly as he was shipped in. DIVORCE
I bet before that, that lady would have said how her guy was Mr wonderful, perfect muslim, etc. I just hope she didn't have any children involved.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty:
quote: WK, the girl I mentioned in another thread who got a speedy visa... within one month he could not find work, turned to booze beat her, was jealous of her child and ex and was shipped out as quickly as he was shipped in. DIVORCE
I bet before that, that lady would have said how her guy was Mr wonderful, perfect muslim, etc. I just hope she didn't have any children involved.
Ah yeah, he was the best... thankfully she wasn't trapped, insecure and cutting her nose off to spite her face and just ejected him from her life.
The only child involved was from a previous relationship... who the dude hated with a passion and was jealous as hell when her natural rather came to collect her at the weekends.
Posted by of_gold (Member # 13418) on :
Follow your heart.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Clear and QSY:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: An IT degree in Egypt is not transferable to North America.
Same can be said for just about any degree from Egypt.
Not worth the paper they are printed on.
Not true, I know of a handful of doctors, engineers and scientists (bio-chemical) who's degrees were readily accepted by employers.
In many states there are licensures for this type of degrees I stated above and if you manage to score well on these tests you could have 10 major university hospitals trying to recruit you.
I wish IT was licensed and that a license was necessary to enter the field it would definately level the playing field and allow more candidates of quality to get past "the old boys club".
ISO standards are according to industry and in order for IT professionals to boast anything kind of knowledge of ISO standards they'd have to indicate which ISO standard (industry specified) they are familar with. BUt if you are attempting to gain employment in a different industry then drop the ISO experience in a flash.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Clear and QSY:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: An IT degree in Egypt is not transferable to North America.
Same can be said for just about any degree from Egypt.
Not worth the paper they are printed on.
Not true, I know of a handful of doctors, engineers and scientists (bio-chemical) who's degrees were readily accepted by employers.
A handful is 5 max, so 2 doctors, 2 scientists and an engineer that was accepted is nothing. Some are accepted on the papers they have BUT have to go through further tests/exams IN USA to get to the standard of the rest of the state standards.
Degrees here are 10 a penny and not worth the paper they are written on as QSY said.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Pointless argument as the guy only works on computers
But I know a Dr. in the UK from Cairo who is there to take further tests and exams and has to volunteer in the Hospital (i.e no pay) naturally his western wife is paying for this trip lmao... even the educated ones are dodgy!
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Clear and QSY:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: An IT degree in Egypt is not transferable to North America.
Same can be said for just about any degree from Egypt.
Not worth the paper they are printed on.
Not true, I know of a handful of doctors, engineers and scientists (bio-chemical) who's degrees were readily accepted by employers.
A handful is 5 max, so 2 doctors, 2 scientists and an engineer that was accepted is nothing. Some are accepted on the papers they have BUT have to go through further tests/exams IN USA to get to the standard of the rest of the state standards.
Degrees here are 10 a penny and not worth the paper they are written on as QSY said.
Seeing how I actually know these people, and actually know of quite a few Arabs who moved here on those visas and you and QYS don't you don't have a say.
Val you are from the shires, what Arab with an advanced education moves to the shires?
QYS lived in upstate NY and a small town in Indiana.
I live in a metro area with a handful of universities that have large research labs and there are 5 teaching hospitals within 10 miles of me.
These specific professions/degree programs I refered to are in extremely high demand. They pass the licensee exam they are in, but these degree programs in Egypt are partially funded by USAid so they are reveiwed to meet western demands.
Walk into Fairview University, HCMC, Allina, and Childrens Hospital a good 1/6 of the docs are foreign. All graduated from universities which did recieve funding from USAid and thus the circulumn is under advisement from the State Department.
I worked in hospitals for several years, my mother actually is part of a steering committe that selects foreign doctors to be hired at the private health organization she works at.
My metro area has the largest concentration of medical professionals in a 15 state radius.
Its not a handful, its a large number; I know of 6 docs (surgeons, physicians, radiologist, oncolonogists) that are from Egypt and stayed here in Minnesota. We also know of many more that passed the Minnesota medical license and were recruited into other hospitls across the USA.
I highly doubt the shires has quite the economy to support such immigration let alone Evanton (whatever).
Larger the city the more exposure you have to diversity.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Pointless argument as the guy only works on computers
But I know a Dr. in the UK from Cairo who is there to take further tests and exams and has to volunteer in the Hospital (i.e no pay) naturally his western wife is paying for this trip lmao... even the educated ones are dodgy!
Same in Canada, its socialized health care not the quality of his medical education.
Foreign trained and local trained doctors are paid in residency, equal because its US law.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Clear and QSY:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: An IT degree in Egypt is not transferable to North America.
Same can be said for just about any degree from Egypt.
Not worth the paper they are printed on.
Not true, I know of a handful of doctors, engineers and scientists (bio-chemical) who's degrees were readily accepted by employers.
A handful is 5 max, so 2 doctors, 2 scientists and an engineer that was accepted is nothing. Some are accepted on the papers they have BUT have to go through further tests/exams IN USA to get to the standard of the rest of the state standards.
Degrees here are 10 a penny and not worth the paper they are written on as QSY said.
Seeing how I actually know these people, and actually know of quite a few Arabs who moved here on those visas and you and QYS don't you don't have a say.
Val you are from the shires, what Arab with an advanced education moves to the shires?
QYS lived in upstate NY and a small town in Indiana.
I live in a metro area with a handful of universities that have large research labs and there are 5 teaching hospitals within 10 miles of me.
These specific professions/degree programs I refered to are in extremely high demand. They pass the licensee exam they are in, but these degree programs in Egypt are partially funded by USAid so they are reveiwed to meet western demands.
Walk into Fairview University, HCMC, Allina, and Childrens Hospital a good 1/6 of the docs are foreign. All graduated from universities which did recieve funding from USAid and thus the circulumn is under advisement from the State Department.
I worked in hospitals for several years, my mother actually is part of a steering committe that selects foreign doctors to be hired at the private health organization she works at.
My metro area has the largest concentration of medical professionals in a 15 state radius.
Its not a handful, its a large number; I know of 6 docs (surgeons, physicians, radiologist, oncolonogists) that are from Egypt and stayed here in Minnesota. We also know of many more that passed the Minnesota medical license and were recruited into other hospitls across the USA.
I highly doubt the shires has quite the economy to support such immigration let alone Evanton (whatever).
Larger the city the more exposure you have to diversity.
You obviously know ZERO about 'the shires' among other things
oh and you said a handful, not me. Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: [QUOTE]Originally posted by metinoot: [qb] You obviously know ZERO about 'the shires' among other things
oh and you said a handful, not me.
Shires is a squalid little place, with little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity.
Yeah I know a handful over a course of several months personally, I know of many more by reputation.
How many educated Arabs are there in the shires anyway?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: [QUOTE]Originally posted by metinoot: [qb] You obviously know ZERO about 'the shires' among other things
oh and you said a handful, not me.
Shires is a squalid little place, with little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity.
quote:How many educated Arabs are there in the shires anyway?
A lot more than in small town Minnesota considering 'the Shires' has 2 of the greatest Universities in the WORLD, Oxford and Cambridge, not to mention many other great Universities, teaching hospitals blah blah. Have a read. Posted by Mo Ning Min E (Member # 681) on :
but why always search for whatever negative you can find ?
There are some very bitter people on this board I'm afraid.
Posted by Chef Mick (Member # 11209) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mo Ning Min E: but why always search for whatever negative you can find ?
There are some very bitter people on this board I'm afraid.
agreed Mo Ning Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: [QUOTE]Originally posted by metinoot: [qb] You obviously know ZERO about 'the shires' among other things
oh and you said a handful, not me.
Shires is a squalid little place, with little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity.
quote:How many educated Arabs are there in the shires anyway?
A lot more than in small town Minnesota considering 'the Shires' has 2 of the greatest Universities in the WORLD, Oxford and Cambridge, not to mention many other great Universities, teaching hospitals blah blah. Have a read.
Man that's a lotta Shires!! I would imagine that most the English on here live in a Shire lol... it's all in the Math!
And some people don't always only look for the negative, they just don't dress everything in little rainbows and pretty clouds. Sometimes reality is harsh. It doesn't make folk bitter!!!
Posted by Penny (Member # 1925) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: [qb] [QUOTE]Originally posted by metinoot: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Ayisha: [qb] [QUOTE]Originally posted by metinoot: [qb] You obviously know ZERO about 'the shires' among other things
oh and you said a handful, not me.
Shires is a squalid little place, with little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity.
Shire just means county in UK. Its' an old fashioned term and hence why the older counties have shire on the end of their names.
Think a certain person has been watching too much Lord of the Rings.
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
I also live in a 'Shire here in Scotland. I'm sure the tourist boards of Scotland and England must be overjoyed to know that large areas of their countries are squalid Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
The closest thing in England to the Shires shown in Lord of the Rings would be lake district- stunning place. I cannot believe that this whole hobbit obsession sono has with Ayisha is merely because of her height, and because where she lives has "shire" in the name... damn, playground anyone? Grow up sono, that line of attack is so childish that you should not insult the little IQ you have using it. It is also very old now, yawn.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: I also live in a 'Shire here in Scotland. I'm sure the tourist boards of Scotland and England must be overjoyed to know that large areas of their countries are squalid
sorry YAH, I only did the English shires, I missed the Welsh and Scottish ones, she has enough reading to do there to find if we are all short fat people with no diversity or not
but then she only reads the first line so she will learn nothing. Ah well let her think all English from a 'shire' are hobbits, who cares!
Posted by Life is a journey (Member # 17655) on :
I lmao when i read what was written about the "shires" of course this person has never visted otherwise they would not make such comments. The cotswolds famous in the Uk and part of Gloucestershire. At the VAC in Cairo encourage people to visit!!I suppose thats why half the royal family live round there because it is "is a squalid little place, with little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity".
Also Kate Moss, Sharon Davids, Anne Robinson etc ect the list goes on. As for diversity Most Shires if not all have cities lol and from what i seen in one today it is very diverse.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Life is a journey: I lmao when i read what was written about the "shires" of course this person has never visted otherwise they would not make such comments. The cotswolds famous in the Uk and part of Gloucestershire. At the VAC in Cairo encourage people to visit!!I suppose thats why half the royal family live round there because it is "is a squalid little place, with little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity".
Also Kate Moss, Sharon Davids, Anne Robinson etc ect the list goes on. As for diversity Most Shires if not all have cities lol and from what i seen in one today it is very diverse.
LIAJ thats exactly the shire attitude.
Celebrities are not the same as "diversity" of highly education professionals that shift from the academic and professional environments of their home nation to a western academic and professional environment.
Since you are on a "tourist board" its kinda like a gigolo stating that his professional environment is a representation of world class professionals.
Now does the shires have an exchange/recruitment program in which medical, engineering, bio-science, and the like can come to Scotland to continue their careers? No
So thus in fact the shires is not a destination for highly educated individuals, its a place where celebrities flee from en masse.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
Is oxford or cambridge in derbyshire? no
why would I want to become educated in regards to the shires, what use would it be to me?
and nothing good has come out of those two universities since ww1, and what diversity is on those two campus'?
What scientific and medical progress has come out of those two universities?
tradition is nice, tradition is nice on a postcard or a pattern on chinaware but tradition doesn't apply itself well to medical and scientific breakthroughs.
In the end the shire folks are short, fat, hair on all the wrong places, uneducated and breed extremely young.
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Now does the shires have an exchange/recruitment program in which medical, engineering, bio-science, and the like can come to Scotland to continue their careers? No
Eh Yes about 18 miles from where I live We have a very advanced teaching hospital that is continually making breakthroughs regarding many illnesses. We have a major crop research institute which not only benefits our country but the rest of the world! Computer technology, bio science, you name it.
Posted by Life is a journey (Member # 17655) on :
Meetinoot,
Have you ever been to the Shire?????? I am not saying that the "shires" is a "representation of world class professionals", they are likely to be in Harley Street! I am simply stating that not all people in the shire's are
"little fat people, little education and little to zero diversity"
I am simply justifying what i am stating using celebs as an example.
In my experiance and observations in local hospitals there are a considerable amount of foreign professionals e.g Doctors, nurses and s/w also at the university there are are a number of foreign lectures including americans! I can only comment on my observations.
Cheltenham Ladies, The Royal Agricultre College are obviously places where educated people attend and they are all in the Shire's.
If you go to places like Gloucester,Leicester ect im sure you will find plenty of diversity. Also leicester has a higher population of foreigners compared to white british.
Your entitled to your opinion, and that is fine, I do not aim to change your mind . However simply state what I observe.
This forum is for open debates and advice etc, however it appears that you take things really personally:( and feel that the only response is to give a personal attack.
Take care Posted by Life is a journey (Member # 17655) on :
Also Oxford is in OxfordSHIRE LOL
Posted by Life is a journey (Member # 17655) on :
Also Oxford is in OxfordSHIRE LOL
Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
Life is a Journey, ignore that nutter. She hasn't a clue about 99% of what she writes about any topic. As you can see her knowledge of England's geography is also seriously lacking (so you would have thought she would have the diginity to not try and use it as an attack). I went to the university of Gloucestershire, I went there because of just how stunning the surrounding areas are. And these are homes that you can't get unless you have a serious wod in your account. I really don't understand where she gets her hatred for anything with "shire" in. Even in Lord of the Rings (or the Hobbit, as I don't think she can manage the bigger book... actually, probably just watched the film) it is shown as a beautiful place. Not everyone wants to live in a crowded city. I know what I would prefer!
Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
I do not actually think this has anything to do with the 'shires at all. It is more do to with a view of the UK as a whole. Why do so many rich send their children to Eton Or Gordonston, then on to Oxford, Cambridge or St Andrews? Yes some of it is down to snobbery but the children have to be gifted enough to gain entrance in the first place! It is very easy to make rash statements regarding a country that you have never actually visited. Just like it would be very easy for me to make rash statements about Americans based on the statement "Why is the castle built so close to the railway station", uttered by an American tourist while visiting Edinburgh I certainly do not think fellow Americans are this stupid, far from it! My only experience of the US is a 2 week holiday visiting my friend her hubby and baby. Their apartment was in Battery Park, NY overlooking The Statue of Liberty. That does not mean I think all New Yorkers have this wonderful view. The UK is a small country compared with the US but it is certainly not backward. We have a great deal of history which Americans especially delight in. Maybe you should try to embrace this Sono, probably back in your family tree you'll find you have British roots, could be interesting! You do seem to have a dislike for the UK maybe you could give a more detailed explanation why this is the case? Regarding famous people I did have to laugh out loud at Victoria Beckham's comment a couple of years ago when asked what she was looking forward to in LA and her response was "I'm looking forward to the culture" There are dafties all over the world Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
How come when someone becomes a somebody they move from the shires?
How is it Londoners won't defend the shires reputation?
By the way I am not really reading your responses.
Posted by malimaz (Member # 17616) on :
I would just like to know where he is from in Egypt, what is the name of his area?
Posted by Mo Ning Min E (Member # 681) on :
I spent my last 25 years in England in a 'Shire' [Hamp.] Yes it's true. They they have a saying there "Hampshire born and Hampshire bred, strong in arm and thick in head." And on the Isle of Wight, where I lived, they said " What do you call the moisture that collects between the bodies of two Isle of Wight people making love? Relative humidity."
And ..... what has this got to do with this worried young woman from Canada?
Posted by Cosmogirl (Member # 8748) on :
I attended college in an American "Shire" New Hampshire! And I have managed to achieve a "high level government position" similar to Amys "in-laws" so.. stop watching Lord of the Rings and get a real world view. For heeps sake.. stop dogging people it only shows poorly for you. Everyone is from somewhere, and everyone has a story. Success isn't where you are from, it is about who YOU are.
Posted by Cosmogirl (Member # 8748) on :
And before you even start in on it.. know that bad things happen to good people. When you live a life unspoiled by falsehood and lies, you rarely are prepared when you encounter someone who has been steeped in a culture where it is prevalent. Example: ME! What you do after it happens defines you, and how you treat others facing simlilar circumstances serves as a billboard for your heart. If you don't expect to encounter a lothario, you don't recognize them when they show up at the door. Self respect and family loyalty can give you the strength to do what's right.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
Since you are on a "tourist board" its kinda like a gigolo stating that his professional environment is a representation of world class professionals.
correct me if im wrong, but arent you on the same tourist board doing the same blah blah crap as you accuse others of?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: Is oxford or cambridge in derbyshire? no
No they are in Oxfordshire and Cambridgeshire
quote:why would I want to become educated in regards to the shires, what use would it be to me?
might help you to stop making a complete fool of yourself claiming its full of little fat people with no education and little to no diversity.
quote:and nothing good has come out of those two universities since ww1, and what diversity is on those two campus'?
What scientific and medical progress has come out of those two universities??
ROFL you cannot be serious
quote: tradition is nice, tradition is nice on a postcard or a pattern on chinaware but tradition doesn't apply itself well to medical and scientific breakthroughs.
why am i wasting time with an idiot?
quote:In the end the shire folks are short, fat, hair on all the wrong places, uneducated and breed extremely young.
and you are totally bonkers uneducated unloved bitter and completely stupid.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
maybe sono is from a shire?? she is short and fat and pudgy???if thats what she is claiming right?
Posted by malimaz (Member # 17616) on :
I agree where is he from in Egypt; that alone can say a lot
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: maybe sono is from a shire?? she is short and fat and pudgy???if thats what she is claiming right?
Actually you are originally from Texas and Lousiana currently residing in rural Iowa.
The only place you've been to outside of the USA was Mexico, and you've never had a passport.
Remember how you posted a scan of your ID? Everyone has seen your photos.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: maybe sono is from a shire?? she is short and fat and pudgy???if thats what she is claiming right?
Actually you are originally from Texas and Lousiana currently residing in rural Iowa.
The only place you've been to outside of the USA was Mexico, and you've never had a passport.
Remember how you posted a scan of your ID? Everyone has seen your photos.
and whats yr point? i dont care who has seen my pics..
Posted by Kalila : ) (Member # 14517) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
Remember how you posted a scan of your ID? Everyone has seen your photos.
I aint
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: How come when someone becomes a somebody they move from the shires?
How is it Londoners won't defend the shires reputation?
By the way I am not really reading your responses.
I am not from a Shire...and two of my three brothers moved to a Shire.. so are they snobs or scrubbers???? I am confused.
We used to be a Shire but the borders shrank BUT I am from the West of a County and The Hobbit is the from the East... where do I stand? My own geographical status is in questionable.
FACT, It's not where you live it's how you live!!!!
BTW my bro has 4 resides, LancaSHIRE, OxfordSHIRE, London and the WEST Mids... poor lad, on ES he is fooked!!!
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kalila : ):
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
Remember how you posted a scan of your ID? Everyone has seen your photos.
I aint
learn to talk proper Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
quote: How is it Londoners won't defend the shires reputation
Erm, I'm a stone throw from London, I do not live in a Shire (I guess I live in a "sex", aka EsSEX). However, guess where well earning Londoners have their second homes, or where they take early retirement too... yes you guessed it (actually, you probably didn't), but the countryside, the villages, often ending in "shire".
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty:
quote: How is it Londoners won't defend the shires reputation
Erm, I'm a stone throw from London, I do not live in a Shire (I guess I live in a "sex", aka EsSEX). However, guess where well earning Londoners have their second homes, or where they take early retirement too... yes you guessed it (actually, you probably didn't), but the countryside, the villages, often ending in "shire".
Yet your not in London and no Londoner has yet to step forward for you bumpkins.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
My brother has 3 apartments, one in Lancashire, one in Oxfordshire and one in Central London... so what is he considered to be?
My town used to be part of a Shire but we transferred out and placed in another county...
Considering most of England is called a Shire I have no reason to doubt you are simply just an Anglophobe.
The Capital of England used to be in a Shire ffs!!
Why are we arguing about postcodes! I have 2 brothers who actually live in Shires (other bro is also in derby thank you very much you rude little woman!!) I actually believe it is how you live and not where you live but if you have never been to England I question how you can even judge somebody by their postal address!!
Btw, I am from the county housing the 2nd biggest City and I do defend the Shires Because they are no different to anywhere else in the bloody country lol...
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kalila : ):
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
Remember how you posted a scan of your ID? Everyone has seen your photos.
I aint
nor me
Posted by marydot (Member # 15932) on :
I live in south london and I love it here.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by marydot: I live in south london and I love it here.
How do you feel about the shires?
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
This really is THE most pointless conversation, I have never even heard to any county that ends in Shire being referred to as the Shires... if anything we drop the word shire and just say Derby or Oxford etc...
Is there actually a point to this insany stupid conversation about where people live in the UK (like Sono has any clue what is half decent or not)
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Check out 1 min 56 about Inspecter Morse and Oxford
I didn't live in a 'Shire' but to be fair, I haven't been asked lol...
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: This really is THE most pointless conversation, I have never even heard to any county that ends in Shire being referred to as the Shires... if anything we drop the word shire and just say Derby or Oxford etc...
Is there actually a point to this insany stupid conversation about where people live in the UK (like Sono has any clue what is half decent or not)
The heart of this disagreement is whether someone is qualified to give advice on how educated professionals from non-western nations are able to continue their career in the west.
The basis of whether you are qualified or not:
1. Live in a major metropolitan area. 2. University degree 3. Professional experience in your field. 4. First hand knowledge of how non-western university educated professionals acclimated to their professions in the west.
So far the loudest yappers are from the shires and no one besides myself has voiced their input and met those 4 criteria above.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Do people in America not ever move house? I mean, I mentioned my two highly educated brothers moved TO a Shire.. my third one moved to the South Coast... WE ALL MOVED HOUSE.
I AM NOT FROM A SHIRE.... gmafb!!!
And who the feck told you are qualified to give advice if you live in a Metropolitan area...
You are just chatting shite for the sake of it now... and making a total idiot out of yourself to be honest.
AGAIN.. I AM FROM A METROPOLITAN AREA (A MAJOR ONE THAT HOUSES THE 2ND BIGGEST FRICKIN CITY!!)
Now, do you want my view of the Shires???
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Do people in America not ever move house? I mean, I mentioned my two highly educated brothers moved TO a Shire.. my third one moved to the South Coast... WE ALL MOVED HOUSE.
I AM NOT FROM A SHIRE.... gmafb!!!
And who the feck told you are qualified to give advice if you live in a Metropolitan area...
You are just chatting shite for the sake of it now... and making a total idiot out of yourself to be honest.
AGAIN.. I AM FROM A METROPOLITAN AREA (A MAJOR ONE THAT HOUSES THE 2ND BIGGEST FRICKIN CITY!!)
Now, do you want my view of the Shires???
A total idiot is one who gives advice in which they are not qualified to give.
Using the cliche "degrees not worth the paper they are printed on" by someone who hasn't obtained a degree sounds unqualified.
And if it was the biggest city where is your personal experience with non-westerners university educated professionals continuing their career in your UK city? You have yet to give instances/experiences.
Yeah people move cities, plenty of folks move in the USA for professional and education reasons, not just UK persons without university educations and professions.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Do people in America not ever move house? I mean, I mentioned my two highly educated brothers moved TO a Shire.. my third one moved to the South Coast... WE ALL MOVED HOUSE.
I AM NOT FROM A SHIRE.... gmafb!!!
And who the feck told you are qualified to give advice if you live in a Metropolitan area...
You are just chatting shite for the sake of it now... and making a total idiot out of yourself to be honest.
AGAIN.. I AM FROM A METROPOLITAN AREA (A MAJOR ONE THAT HOUSES THE 2ND BIGGEST FRICKIN CITY!!)
Now, do you want my view of the Shires???
hell girl we americans move more than anyone i know. i have moved so much in my life it gets tiring after yr 30..
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Do people in America not ever move house? I mean, I mentioned my two highly educated brothers moved TO a Shire.. my third one moved to the South Coast... WE ALL MOVED HOUSE.
I AM NOT FROM A SHIRE.... gmafb!!!
And who the feck told you are qualified to give advice if you live in a Metropolitan area...
You are just chatting shite for the sake of it now... and making a total idiot out of yourself to be honest.
AGAIN.. I AM FROM A METROPOLITAN AREA (A MAJOR ONE THAT HOUSES THE 2ND BIGGEST FRICKIN CITY!!)
Now, do you want my view of the Shires???
A total idiot is one who gives advice in which they are not qualified to give.
Using the cliche "degrees not worth the paper they are printed on" by someone who hasn't obtained a degree sounds unqualified.
And if it was the biggest city where is your personal experience with non-westerners university educated professionals continuing their career in your UK city? You have yet to give instances/experiences.
Yeah people move cities, plenty of folks move in the USA for professional and education reasons, not just UK persons without university educations and professions.
Read back fuckwit... I stated quite clearly about Egyptians working in the West Midlands!!! (broken down as a paediatric doctor in a Government hospital, and another as a GP in a Government school).
I also wrote about women here paying for their men to go to the UK to get training. BECAUSE THEY NEED IT.
Numerous others have also responded but you are quite blinkered.
SECOND biggest city FFS!! SECOND!!!! You should take your time to read and disest words before you respond!
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Do people in America not ever move house? I mean, I mentioned my two highly educated brothers moved TO a Shire.. my third one moved to the South Coast... WE ALL MOVED HOUSE.
I AM NOT FROM A SHIRE.... gmafb!!!
And who the feck told you are qualified to give advice if you live in a Metropolitan area...
You are just chatting shite for the sake of it now... and making a total idiot out of yourself to be honest.
AGAIN.. I AM FROM A METROPOLITAN AREA (A MAJOR ONE THAT HOUSES THE 2ND BIGGEST FRICKIN CITY!!)
Now, do you want my view of the Shires???
hell girl we americans move more than anyone i know. i have moved so much in my life it gets tiring after yr 30..
I just wondered as folk who live in Shires appear to have a new stereotype and a lot of folk move to them as some are set in the most beautiful of countryside, nice quaint cottages etc...
I just wondered if you yanks thought we all just stay in the same village we grew up in and inter breed till we get kids with the eyes!!! Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Do people in America not ever move house? I mean, I mentioned my two highly educated brothers moved TO a Shire.. my third one moved to the South Coast... WE ALL MOVED HOUSE.
I AM NOT FROM A SHIRE.... gmafb!!!
And who the feck told you are qualified to give advice if you live in a Metropolitan area...
You are just chatting shite for the sake of it now... and making a total idiot out of yourself to be honest.
AGAIN.. I AM FROM A METROPOLITAN AREA (A MAJOR ONE THAT HOUSES THE 2ND BIGGEST FRICKIN CITY!!)
Now, do you want my view of the Shires???
A total idiot is one who gives advice in which they are not qualified to give.
Using the cliche "degrees not worth the paper they are printed on" by someone who hasn't obtained a degree sounds unqualified.
And if it was the biggest city where is your personal experience with non-westerners university educated professionals continuing their career in your UK city? You have yet to give instances/experiences.
Yeah people move cities, plenty of folks move in the USA for professional and education reasons, not just UK persons without university educations and professions.
Read back fuckwit... I stated quite clearly about Egyptians working in the West Midlands!!! (broken down as a paediatric doctor in a Government hospital, and another as a GP in a Government school).
I also wrote about women here paying for their men to go to the UK to get training. BECAUSE THEY NEED IT.
Numerous others have also responded but you are quite blinkered.
SECOND biggest city FFS!! SECOND!!!! You should take your time to read and disest words before you respond!
Thats nice.
The original poster is from Canada. Not the UK.
Of course she stated she didn't want to indicate where in Canada she lives.
And how many of those medical university grads/professionals actually have an UK wife paying his airfare? Most of them pay their own way, if the rare exception has a UK wife pay for airfare its still not the norm.
And is there any way to confirm the % of foreign educated doctors take their residency in London versus non-London hospitals?
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE SHIRES YOU MENTALIST pmsfl..
'Most of them' ... wow, where do you do your research?
Why don't you go online and educate yourself, go find the answer... fetch doggy fetch.
The dude in question is only in to IT work.. he is hardly a rocket scientist so I am sure he could go work in an IT department somewhere!!! On the premise he has what the INDIVIDUAL COMPANY HIRING have requested.
SECOND BIGGEST... lol...
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE SHIRES YOU MENTALIST pmsfl..
'Most of them' ... wow, where do you do your research?
Why don't you go online and educate yourself, go find the answer... fetch doggy fetch.
The dude in question is only in to IT work.. he is hardly a rocket scientist so I am sure he could go work in an IT department somewhere!!! On the premise he has what the INDIVIDUAL COMPANY HIRING have requested.
SECOND BIGGEST... lol...
As I stated before I work in the IT field, IT recruiters and IT managers want experience in the west and a western degree.
And why did the discussion navigate to other professional fields? Go back to the original poster you brought up the medical field. .
Do you post sober ever?
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
not to sound dumb but whats a shire? is it a town name or what?
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: not to sound dumb but whats a shire? is it a town name or what?
See Ayisha's wikipedia bitch rant post on the second page of this thread.
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
it says a shire is a horse. now i am confused.....
The Shire horse is a breed of draught horse (BrE) or draft horse (AmE). The breed comes in many colors, including black, bay and gray. ...
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: it says a shire is a horse. now i am confused.....
The Shire horse is a breed of draught horse (BrE) or draft horse (AmE). The breed comes in many colors, including black, bay and gray. ...
Is it a horse with a fat arse?
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: it says a shire is a horse. now i am confused.....
The Shire horse is a breed of draught horse (BrE) or draft horse (AmE). The breed comes in many colors, including black, bay and gray. ...
Is it a horse with a fat arse?
hahahaha yr funny sometimes.do u always check out horses asses?
Posted by Tigerlily (Member # 3567) on :
Just ignore the psycho. Why you all keep on responding to her???? Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: it says a shire is a horse. now i am confused.....
The Shire horse is a breed of draught horse (BrE) or draft horse (AmE). The breed comes in many colors, including black, bay and gray. ...
Is it a horse with a fat arse?
hahahaha yr funny sometimes.do u always check out horses asses?
how often do you think I am around horses?
I live in civilization, not the sticks.
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE SHIRES YOU MENTALIST pmsfl..
'Most of them' ... wow, where do you do your research?
Why don't you go online and educate yourself, go find the answer... fetch doggy fetch.
The dude in question is only in to IT work.. he is hardly a rocket scientist so I am sure he could go work in an IT department somewhere!!! On the premise he has what the INDIVIDUAL COMPANY HIRING have requested.
SECOND BIGGEST... lol...
As I stated before I work in the IT field, IT recruiters and IT managers want experience in the west and a western degree.
Thats why you're UNEMPLOYED.
quote:And why did the discussion navigate to other professional fields? Go back to the original poster you brought up the medical field. .
You brought up the medical field claiming you know doctors blah blah who came from Egypt and worked in USA without any training to qualify them in USA.
quote:Do you post sober ever?
Do you ever post sober?
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE SHIRES YOU MENTALIST pmsfl..
'Most of them' ... wow, where do you do your research?
Why don't you go online and educate yourself, go find the answer... fetch doggy fetch.
The dude in question is only in to IT work.. he is hardly a rocket scientist so I am sure he could go work in an IT department somewhere!!! On the premise he has what the INDIVIDUAL COMPANY HIRING have requested.
SECOND BIGGEST... lol...
As I stated before I work in the IT field, IT recruiters and IT managers want experience in the west and a western degree.
Thats why you're UNEMPLOYED.
quote:And why did the discussion navigate to other professional fields? Go back to the original poster you brought up the medical field. .
You brought up the medical field claiming you know doctors blah blah who came from Egypt and worked in USA without any training to qualify them in USA.
quote:Do you post sober ever?
Do you ever post sober?
PWNED Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE SHIRES YOU MENTALIST pmsfl..
'Most of them' ... wow, where do you do your research?
Why don't you go online and educate yourself, go find the answer... fetch doggy fetch.
The dude in question is only in to IT work.. he is hardly a rocket scientist so I am sure he could go work in an IT department somewhere!!! On the premise he has what the INDIVIDUAL COMPANY HIRING have requested.
SECOND BIGGEST... lol...
As I stated before I work in the IT field, IT recruiters and IT managers want experience in the west and a western degree.
Thats why you're UNEMPLOYED.
quote:And why did the discussion navigate to other professional fields? Go back to the original poster you brought up the medical field. .
You brought up the medical field claiming you know doctors blah blah who came from Egypt and worked in USA without any training to qualify them in USA.
quote:Do you post sober ever?
Do you ever post sober?
plz dont post this funny sh it until i have went to the bathroom its funny as hell....
Posted by marydot (Member # 15932) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by marydot: I live in south london and I love it here.
How do you feel about the shires?
What a weird question!!
I would say people up north have a more free attitude,easy going and relaxed, as i use to live in leeds I know leeds city centre well.
I guess london is where my heart is, thats why i moved back!!! I just like the madness of london,busy streets and of course i missed big ben.
But the traffic in rush hour can be a nightmare.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by marydot:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by marydot: I live in south london and I love it here.
How do you feel about the shires?
What a weird question!!
I would say people up north have a more free attitude,easy going and relaxed, as i use to live in leeds I know leeds city centre well.
I guess london is where my heart is, thats why i moved back!!! I just like the madness of london,busy streets and of course i missed big ben.
But the traffic in rush hour can be a nightmare.
Easy going attitude? Then why are the ES "battlers" and they are proud to call themselves "battlers" from the shire and other non-London areas?
Posted by akshar (Member # 1680) on :
Hey what about those from sex
Sussex Essex Middlesex
and of course Wessex
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by marydot:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by marydot: I live in south london and I love it here.
How do you feel about the shires?
What a weird question!!
I would say people up north have a more free attitude,easy going and relaxed, as i use to live in leeds I know leeds city centre well.
I guess london is where my heart is, thats why i moved back!!! I just like the madness of london,busy streets and of course i missed big ben.
But the traffic in rush hour can be a nightmare.
Easy going attitude? Then why are the ES "battlers" and they are proud to call themselves "battlers" from the shire and other non-London areas?
Pmsl @ from the 'Shire' amd 'other non - 'London areas' Isn't that call England???
No really, keep em coming.
If we are breaking place names down and judging folk based on their location then I am glad I am not from Scunthorpe or Arsenal for that matter lol...
I am loving this thread it has highlighted so much stupidity and ignorance from the IT girl (IT being Info Technology )
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by akshar: Hey what about those from sex
Sussex Essex Middlesex
and of course Wessex
speaks for itself what they are like Jane, Thats where they have sex in the streets and all walk about NEKED Posted by akshar (Member # 1680) on :
What is with the shires, they haven't used that as an expression since WW2.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Better than been remembered as an unemployable frumpy, old receptionist who is an anglophobe with the IQ of a sparrow.
Enjoy motherhood and please keep yer big knickers on, my eyes burn at the thought of you neked...
The Queen of England lives in a Shire you cuckoo bloody la la. Seriously, go bite the postman.
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Better than been remembered as an unemployable frumpy, old receptionist who is an anglophobe with the IQ of a sparrow.
Enjoy motherhood and please keep yer big knickers on, my eyes burn at the thought of you neked...
The Queen of England lives in a Shire you cuckoo bloody la la. Seriously, go bite the postman.
You know you got really mean with alot of time on your hands after the hash was taken off the streets of Cairo.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
No shortage here sweetie, just a price increase...
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: No shortage here sweetie, just a price increase...
and how can you afford to keep your hash bin stocked for you and all your clone friends on a kindergarten teaching assistant salary?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
silly bint, you are one of these too! Posted by SherryBlueBerry (Member # 13867) on :
Well heck I thought kindergarten teacher's assistants got paid pretty well in Egypt! Especially expats...I thought they had the edge on more money! Damn Cheeky..and here I thought you were rich as could be! Now according to Metinoot you are just a poor person... Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
silly bint, you are one of these too!
My town is one of the largest in the USA.
Plus I have my teeth, I wasn't a teen mother, I finished university and I don't pay for "companionship".
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by SherryBlueBerry: Well heck I thought kindergarten teacher's assistants got paid pretty well in Egypt! Especially expats...I thought they had the edge on more money! Damn Cheeky..and here I thought you were rich as could be! Now according to Metinoot you are just a poor person...
Who said I was a Kindergarten (never used that word in all my life either) Teacher's Assistant I think cuckoo la la is sniffing glue again.
And, I actually don't buy hash, I smoke other people's
Maybe I sell my body muhahahaha ... Maybe whatever service I provide is in high demand and I have cornered the market... perhaps my Mummy and Daddy who I live with (the hotel) are rich...
Maybe I am widowed
Maybe I am none of the above and I just simply busk all day but sing like an angel.
Maybe I am just one of those born with a silver spoon... or maybe I have worked hard to get where I am.
Maybe I model as I am half man half women!!! Maybe I sold my daughter and then sold picture of my under carriage!!
hmmmmm... thoughts to ponder. Am I rich or am I poor...!!! Perhaps I have a sting of rich dudes chasing my booty and paying for all my flights and holidays!
Perhaps I don't actually fly anywhere and I super-impose myself into pictures
EEEK... am I real. muhahahaha
One thing I can assure you though cuckoo is, I am highly employable.... and I need a receptionist, wanna job? I will pay you 60le a day looking at your skills and qualifications.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
silly bint, you are one of these too!
Aren't I a bit tall and single to be a hobbit - whore. Plus I have all my own teeth!!! And I still have periods... I defy you all
I actually lived in a nice little village in 'middle England' but I think that would confuse cuckoo if we start breaking areas up... in fact if you check my village out in the Doomsday Book it used to be a hamlet
Shall we now discuss ancestry? Shall I name drop who my Great Great Uncle was? I mean does family history as well as location location location have any bearing on who we are as people today?
Judging folks on where they live is like assessing IQ based on bra size!!! So illogical!
Posted by weirdkitty (Member # 15365) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by akshar: Hey what about those from sex
Sussex Essex Middlesex
and of course Wessex
speaks for itself what they are like Jane, Thats where they have sex in the streets and all walk about NEKED
Ahh yes, that is what I miss most about home, our lovely neked walks in Essex *sigh*
quote: A total idiot is one who gives advice in which they are not qualified to give.
Says the American person trying to teach England's geography to English people...
Posted by tina kamal (Member # 13845) on :
quote:Originally posted by weirdkitty:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by akshar: Hey what about those from sex
Sussex Essex Middlesex
and of course Wessex
speaks for itself what they are like Jane, Thats where they have sex in the streets and all walk about NEKED
Ahh yes, that is what I miss most about home, our lovely neked walks in Essex *sigh*
quote: A total idiot is one who gives advice in which they are not qualified to give.
Says the American person trying to teach England's geography to English people...
hahaha as an american i wouldnt dare do this cas i have no since of direction.. i would probably put england where egypt is..if i aint dirrected then i will get lost. now put me on a freeway in usa and i can get anywhere..
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
silly bint, you are one of these too!
My town is one of the largest in the USA.
Plus I have my teeth, I wasn't a teen mother, I finished university and I don't pay for "companionship".
My city is one of the largest in UK too, so? I was a teen mother and raised my kids and studied at the same time, so? I dont pay for companionship either, I got no job remember and just coz you have your own teeth does not mean you aint one of ES battlers! Moron! Posted by young at heart (Member # 10365) on :
Don't want to worry you girls but 'the shires' was mentioned 4 times tonight on Crimewatch Posted by Shareen (Member # 989) on :
i'm from the Shires too, and I am 22 times removed from King Edward 111....... so how about that for name dropping
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by Shareen: i'm from the Shires too, and I am 22 times removed from King Edward 111....... so how about that for name dropping
*Bows down before King Shareen* (22 times removed)
Posted by Shareen (Member # 989) on :
you can call me majesty Ayisha
Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
silly bint, you are one of these too!
My town is one of the largest in the USA.
Plus I have my teeth, I wasn't a teen mother, I finished university and I don't pay for "companionship".
My city is one of the largest in UK too, so? I was a teen mother and raised my kids and studied at the same time, so? I dont pay for companionship either, I got no job remember and just coz you have your own teeth does not mean you aint one of ES battlers! Moron!
If you did "study" for something other than your high school equivalence and a certificate in Accounting. Like a university or college degree, why not name the college or university so I can verify?
Seriously its not that bad, you screwed up every major adult milestone in your life, its a complete package! Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by metinoot:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I lived in Essex Street... I didn't live in a Shire or in a 'sex' area but I wanted to belong to the hobbit - whore clan
You know, I hear that students in the UK these days actually commute to Universities out of their area, some even move away!!! Seriously, I am not joking, some get educated OUTSIDE of where they live... shocking I know. This needs to be put on Google to make it more believable
Walk NEKED in England, you stupid woman, all that rain would make you go rusty.
Just keep those insults rolling, you'll be remembered as one of those "small town folk ES battlers".
silly bint, you are one of these too!
My town is one of the largest in the USA.
Plus I have my teeth, I wasn't a teen mother, I finished university and I don't pay for "companionship".
My city is one of the largest in UK too, so? I was a teen mother and raised my kids and studied at the same time, so? I dont pay for companionship either, I got no job remember and just coz you have your own teeth does not mean you aint one of ES battlers! Moron!
If you did "study" for something other than your high school equivalence and a certificate in Accounting. Like a university or college degree, why not name the college or university so I can verify?
Seriously its not that bad, you screwed up every major adult milestone in your life, its a complete package!
you really have so little to do that you want to verify with my college?
Basford Hall College English and Maths grade A and B respectively, Arnold and Carlton College AAT level 1, pass with distinction. Clarendon College AAT level 2 and 3, before it changed to an NVQ but I ended with NVQ level 4 as the format changed after I did level 2. I did start both CIMA and ACCA at level 2 but gave it up as not enough 'numbers' and to much waffle I kept falling asleep and that was nightschool. there you go sono, knock yourself out. All while raising 3 kids, unlike you having to get rid of your 1 kid to get educated to primary school spelling. I dont think thats screwing up really is it?
I have also never been fired or laid off from a job and was headhunted by a University when I worked for an International property management company.
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only joking, we all know there are no gay men in Egypt lol.
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