Last night, my Red Hat friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do?
The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks,and left!!!
Posted by Mo Ning Min E (Member # 681) on :
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are having marital problems. Divorce is in the air, and they are talking through their lawyers. Mickey gets a call from his attorney. "Look Mr Mouse, I've looked over your written statement here; I just don't think you can simply divorce your wife on the allegation that she's just plain silly." Mickie replies "I never said she was silly! I said she was f**king Goofy."
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
I use both those jokes all the time Classics.
Posted by Chef Mick (Member # 11209) on :
*Two Woodpeckers*
So, this Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat...
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:
Apparently, Tiger Woods was right, when he said,
your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.
Posted by marydot (Member # 15932) on :
quote:Originally posted by Chef Mick:
Last night, my Red Hat friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do?
The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks,and left!!!
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