...
Post A Reply
my profile
|
directory
login
|
register
|
search
|
faq
|
forum home
»
EgyptSearch Forums
»
Religion
»
Our behaviour towards others
» Post A Reply
Post A Reply
Login Name:
Password:
Message Icon:
Message:
HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dalia*: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by of_gold: [qb] I have lived this life of believing that I was pleasing God when I pleased my husband. It happens in Christianity too. Problem was I could never please my husband so I kept trying harder. Until one day I gave up. Kinda like a dog chasing his own tail. I remember sitting in church listening to the preacher telling us how we needed to serve God and I thought...I can't do it anymore, I'm too weak. I eventually realized that God doesn't want me treated like this that and that I was teaching my children to sacrifice themselves for everyone else. [/qb][/QUOTE]But you were not being *weak*, in fact your decision to give up was one of strength. I've heard many stories of women who "gave up" at a certain point, because they realized there was no way ever living up to pleasing their husbands, that it was impossible because the points that they kept fighting about were not really about issues in themselves, but rather a power struggle. There are husbands who constantly "punish" their wives and make them feel miserable by being insulted, reproachful etc. There are many women in this world who try very hard to please their husbands, yet life seems to be a constant struggle for them since the husbands are never satisfied. It seems to me that men who have grown up within a somehow patriarchalic culture often tend to blackmail their women. Imo men like this are very immature and selfish, they use religion or anything else as a tool to suppress women. If the women don't do as they please they are not "really feminine", "not fulfilling their divinely ordained duty in life", "being too demanding", "indecent", "rebellious" and so on and so forth. They just use religion as an argument to support the desires of their egos. Womens' souls have been crippled in many societies and for many centuries with arguments like that. It seems the best way to keep a woman in line is to let her know that she is somehow crossing her boundaries, acting against divinely ordained rules, that she is "not normal", "losing her femininity" and -- most of all -- "not good enough". But what I see in reality is that very often women are the ones working the hardest to make relationships work. They are the ones being patient and dealing with sulky, complaining, lazy, injust, violent partners over and over again, out of love and the sincere desire to make the relationship work and the family happy. It's women who often suffer tremendously for the sake of their children. We often hear and read from conservatives of all denominations that feminism and freedom of choice for women is the road to doom and moral decline of a society, that women, once given the freedom of choice and economic freedom, will desert their husbands at the slightest whim, because "women are irrational and often overcome by emotions". But fact is, the majority of women only leave their husbands if life has become completely unbearable for them. They try and try again like a hamster in a wheel to make their relationships and families work before finally giving up. And often they only give up inside, still functioning in the outside world, but dying inside out of physical and mental exhaustion and of a complete drying out of their souls. :( There are many women in this world -- no matter whether in the "bad West" or in Islamic countries -- who are being solely responsible for their children since the husbands have disappeared and couldn't care less about their duty to care for their wife and offspring. There are women who are the sole financial providers of their families, yet their husbands keep demanding that they run all of the household, serve them and take care of the children, because of his supposed role as *leader of the family*, because he feels taking care of those things would be *beneath* him. There are women who keep up with this, who go to work for eight or nine hours a day, come home and cook dinner, iron clothes, help their kids with homework, clean the house etc., while their husbands are not doing half of it, yet expect to be served! We keep reading in *Islamic* texts that the husband has to be "the leader of the family", that a woman can't be trusted with that responsibility, that he is the one to make important decisions, "to keep her on the straight path" and so on and so forth. But most of my personal observations contradict this statement -- so do several studies on the issue, such as the experiment with microbankig in Bangladesh by Muhammad Yunus, which I've posted about on here before. It seems that -- generally speaking -- women tend to act more responsibly when it comes to holding a relationship or a family together. It also seems that women handle finances more carefully and try to make sure there will be as much benefit as possible for everyone involved -- themselves, their family and their community. So I will never believe the strange theory that the man has to be the one making important decisions and taking charge of things because women supposedly are not capable of this and need to be controlled, watched and morally *led*. [QUOTE]Originally posted by of_gold: [qb] It seems to me when a person gives an opinion of something they think; like having slaves and raping them is wrong then people think they are speaking against Islam. Or if you voice that you think having sex with a child is wrong, then you are accused of being against Islam. Is this what Islam is? It sure is confusing to me. [/qb][/QUOTE]Yes, it is confusing, but it's actually quite simple. Do you really believe a merciful, loving and forgiving God would want us to have sex with children, to own slaves and rape them? Can you imagine God actually created one gender superior and wants the other to be suppressed and sacrificing? I don't, and no words from any human being can change that. [QUOTE] [qb] I am offended on a regular basis with respect to how women are degraded on ES. It seems that no one notices or cares how women are demeaned on this site. Yet dare not say any thing that may offend "a man". [/qb][/QUOTE]That's how I feel. I am also regularly offended or feeling deeply disgusted by some of the statements regarding women here, that's why I keep saying what I'm saying. I am used to the insults and the attempts to intimidate me because I dare criticizing the words of men. It doesn't bother or frighten me, but I think it's sad that no honest, intelligent and respectful discussion about this subject seems to be possible on here. [QUOTE] [qb] I thought men were suppose to be the stronger ones. Honestly when I look around, what I see mostly are strong women and weak men. [/qb][/QUOTE]Exactly, that's what I was talking about above. I also find it interesting that in most cases the very same men who claim that they are the superior and more rational gender etc. pp. tend to be very emotional, aggressive and illogical. [QUOTE][qb] PI, I see strength in you. Just wanted to let you know that I see it, for what it's worth. [/qb][/QUOTE]I agree. :) [/QB][/QUOTE]
Instant Graemlins
Instant UBB Code™
What is UBB Code™?
Options
Disable Graemlins in this post.
*** Click here to review this topic. ***
Contact Us
|
EgyptSearch!
(c) 2015 EgyptSearch.com
Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3