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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent b**tard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . You explain the kids."
Habeeby Member # 14429
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For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase, so he asked, 'Son, where are you going?' Little Joe told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage & no bike'.
Habeeby Member # 14429
posted
An archeologist returned to Egypt a few years after ww2 ended as he had been chased out from his digs by the Nazi invasion. Through the local grapevine he contacted his pre-war guide Ahmed and arranged to meet at a crossroads to the digs they had used before the war. As he sees him approaching he says ; "Ah Ahmed! it is wonderful to see you after all these years - but tell me, why, before when we met - YOU would be riding on the donkey, and your wife walking in the dust 20 yards behind you - but today your WIFE is riding on the donkey and you are walking in the dust behind. Do we now have women's liberation in Egypt? Ahmed shakes his head and replies "No Effendi, we have Land mines!!"
posted ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)