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Hello everyone, I am newly married and experiencing my first Ramadan this year.
Can anyone advise me on appropriate or traditional gifts for my husband and his family and when are these given ?
I have really enjoyed the wisdom of this forum and am looking forward to being a member. Thank you.
newcomer Member # 1056
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Hi Angelcake!
It is not usual for Muslims to give gifts to each other during Ramadan. Ramadan is supposed to be a time of increased acts of worship, more prayers (especially at night time), more reading of the Qur’an, and also increased giving in charity. This should be done in addition to personal control of the desires to eat, drink, and have intercourse during the daylight hours. Muslims are also encouraged to show more control over other bad behaviours e.g. controlling their anger, their tongue, not smoking, etc. It is a time for getting closer to Allah and strengthening faith. This is the Islamic, religious side of Ramadan. However if you are living in a Muslim community you may see more emphasis being placed on different customary activities that have developed around the holy month, like eating large amounts of special food when they break their fast, partying at night-time, and thinking what new clothes they want to buy for Eid (the actual festival that comes at the end of the fasting month).
If gifts are given they are usually given to the poor during the month of Ramadan, or to children during the Eid. It is not customary in most Muslim societies for wives to give presents to their husbands at Eid, if anything the husband may give his wife, and other female relatives, gifts of money.
akshar Member # 1680
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If you are visiting a family in the evening to break the fast then taking some of the fancy sweets is a very traditional action. One of the things I love is all the fresh juices which you can buy take away.
At Eid it is customery to get a new outfit but this wouldn't be something you would give more something your husband/father would give you.
------------------ Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor
Angelcake Member # 5624
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Dear Jane and Newcomer, thank you so much for your helpful advice. We will be staying in Alexandria with my husbands lovely family for the end of Ramadan and I wanted to make sure "that I do the right things" !
Kindest regards
newcomer Member # 1056
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Hi Angelcake!
The best thing to do really is to ask your husband and his family what they do as every family will have their own individual traditions for Ramadan and Eid. Most people are usually more than happy to tell someone who is new to the culture what they do. It’s also a good way of showing your interest in them and your respect for their customs.
You don't say where you are living now, but a nice gesture might be a contribution to the Eid celebration of some (halal) sweets/candies or special cake from your country.
akshar Member # 1680
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If your husband and his family are anything like mine whenever you ask questions they are so lovely and friendly. "It doesn't matter, just be yourself, we don't mind". None of which helps when you are anxious to do the right thing.
But seriously they don't really mind they are used to the fact that foreigners are unfamiliar with the customs.
The other day I went into my mother inlaws kitchen and started doing the washing up. It was my sister in laws wedidng day and everyone was mega busy and I wanted to help. For the first time ever they let and I have been married nearly 2 years. It was the first time I didn't feel like a visitor. So don't expect to feel at home if you are only going for a short visit. You will be treated as a visitor and there is nothing you can do about it. I smile a lot!!!!
------------------ Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor
Angelcake Member # 5624
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Jane and newcomer, thank you again. I am laughing because my beloved husband is like men the world over and doesn't have a clue except his family bahabk me am I why am I worried. But Jane I have followed your posts with admiration and just wish to "blend". Newcomer to answer your question, I am irish christian living in London with a property business and in the middle of moving over to Sharm. My beloved husband and family haven't let me in the kitchen yet, Jane you are so right, I am still a visitor, although I am desperate to learn more about egyptian cooking. I will buy small presents for the children and look forward to my new galabera from my husband which his mother will help me choose. Allhamde le la for the kindness from this forum. Ramadan keerem.
ps Jane I tried emailing you from your website re your apartments but it was rejected, do you have another email address ?
Love and best, Melody
akshar Member # 1680
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You shouldn't have a problem with email I am certainly getting loads. Try j a n e @ f l a t s i n l u x o r . c o . u k
(remove the spaces which I put in to fool the spammers)
Yes men are so unhelpful on these occassions, they just don't see what the problem is lol, bless their cotton socks
------------------ Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor
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