posted
One of the perils of being a blogger is being expected to know all the answers.... anyway....
I'm asking this on behalf of someone else who was told by the visa office that her orfi is not enough for the 5 year permanent on account of being married visa, but she can go and register the orfi and it will then be acceptable. Her husband is 100% in agreement with doing this by the way.
Problem is, neither her nor her Egy husband nor anyone else seems to know exactly where you go to achieve this thing.
Husband is still married to his first wife (supporting her only, not living with her) and is not intending to divorce her so they can't go MoH route to make a full international marriage.
Otherwise, they are willing to get a 'court marriage' - where do they go to get that done?
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
to the court, it gets registered at the court.
Penny Member # 1925
posted
Alternatively any lawyer will do it for them if they don't know their way around the courts.
Court are now closed of course for August.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
posted
"Husband is still married to his first wife (supporting her only, not living with her) and is not intending to divorce her "
Wow....
Shanta Qadeama Member # 9889
posted
I think this is not uncommon TL - a divorced woman in many parts of Egypt is a bit of a disgrace and it can be very difficult for them, particularly when they are older.
As far as I can gather, the husband does not wish to bring disgrace on her by divorcing her.
I have a male Egyptian friend in the same position - who does not wish to remain with his wife but will not consider divorcing her out of consideration for HER position if he did, part of that being that if he did divorce her she would be forced to return to her parents' home and as she is nearly 30, she would be considered 'a loser' (his words not mine) and would be very unlikely to marry again.
He would divorce her if she asked him to, if for example she wanted to remarry but as he can take a second wife legally, it's not necessary.
From the perspective of many westerner women its not even morally necessary to be married at all and they marry just to satisfy legal requirements here so its not really a big deal if the first marriage is genuinely over in all but name.
unsure Member # 12244
posted
So true SQ.
$sonomod$ Member # 16818
posted
And why would anyone put this on the very public internet for the sake of someone they don't know personally?
SQ you've been on this board for almost 4 years, I know of 8 usernames who are in this situation and have gotten some sort of "arrangement" in regards to residency. Not that each and everyone one of these usernames will admit to the more trying aspects of their situation but they are an invaluable knowledge bank for this situation.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
posted
quote:Originally posted by Shanta Qadeama: I think this is not uncommon TL - a divorced woman in many parts of Egypt is a bit of a disgrace and it can be very difficult for them, particularly when they are older.
As far as I can gather, the husband does not wish to bring disgrace on her by divorcing her.
I have a male Egyptian friend in the same position - who does not wish to remain with his wife but will not consider divorcing her out of consideration for HER position if he did, part of that being that if he did divorce her she would be forced to return to her parents' home and as she is nearly 30, she would be considered 'a loser' (his words not mine) and would be very unlikely to marry again.
He would divorce her if she asked him to, if for example she wanted to remarry but as he can take a second wife legally, it's not necessary.
From the perspective of many westerner women its not even morally necessary to be married at all and they marry just to satisfy legal requirements here so its not really a big deal if the first marriage is genuinely over in all but name.
Wow.... aren't these guys very considerate towards their Egyptian wives. I am completely impressed. Do many Egyptians now take on a second wife (preferably from the West)? Fill me in here.
Btw, Shanta, most Western women would anything but accept to be in this kind of position. Also will this kind of situation raise eyebrows from relatives of these women. How anyone can arrange life like this is beyond my comprehension. It's not that these guys are rich Saudis or whatever. IMHO Having more than one wife IS NOT THE NORM in Egypt. I don't know what words these guys feeding their foreign gfs but it obviously works.
"From the perspective of many westerner women its not even morally necessary to be married at all"
Now aren't we all sluts.... A little introduction on Egyptian culture wouldn't harm them. Why would foreign women accept things which most Egyptian women would never ever accept unless it's for their own advantage???
Shanta Qadeama Member # 9889
posted
Since when did not being married make anyone a slut? Who is or who is not a slut is defined entirely in the mind of the person making the judgement.
I didn't say it was NORMAL to have a second wife in Egypt only that some men do and some first wives prefer that to being divorced because the position of divorced women is NOT good. No, its not an ideal situation, but if the western woman doesn't 'need' marriage for her own moral purposes, and if the first marriage is genuinely over in all but name, then there is no issue.
Of course some western women want to marry for their own moral/religious reasons and so thats their choice too.
If you are a western woman not bothered about marriage, and you want to be together with an Egy guy then getting married is the price you choose to pay because it would be very hard to be together otherwise.
And for the record, the Egy guy friend I mention above is marrying an Egyptian second wife not a foreigner. The first wife accepts it because she would rather not be divorced.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
posted
quote:Originally posted by Shanta Qadeama: Since when did not being married make anyone a slut? Who is or who is not a slut is defined entirely in the mind of the person making the judgement.
That's Egypt, the country you are currently living in. You can't have closer relations with an Egyptian man without being married. If you do you are considered a slut. Somebody 'easy'to have fun with. Not even a bloody orfi marriage will change that.
And my friend married an Egyptian divorcee years ago. This woman was already over 30, from Sayida Zeinab and I remember correctly they got married because she was pregnant already. They were able to get a fake date on their marriage contract so no one would wonder.
unsure Member # 12244
posted
One of my brothers-in-law in Egypt has an Egyptian girlfriend and in no way she is considered a slut by his family. Not everyone in Egypt that dates are considered sluts. It's the mindset of individuals.
Lady Ferret Member # 15263
posted
Egyptian girls date Egyptian boys... are they sluts or is it just us Westerners who get branded?
And don't try to tell me there is no dating in Egypt... because that is just ignorant.
Shanta Qadeama Member # 9889
posted
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily:
quote:Originally posted by Shanta Qadeama: Since when did not being married make anyone a slut? Who is or who is not a slut is defined entirely in the mind of the person making the judgement.
That's Egypt, the country you are currently living in. You can't have closer relations with an Egyptian man without being married. If you do you are considered a slut. Somebody 'easy'to have fun with. Not even a bloody orfi marriage will change that.
Which is WHY I said the western women may not need it for their OWN moral/religious purposes but get the marriage papers to satisfy legalities HERE!!!! I didn't say they were shagging here without a piece of paper!
The purpose of the thread was simply to try and find out EXACTLY where someone has to go to get their Orfi court-registered and I still don't know - where IS a court and all that - how do you even start the process.
I have suggested to the person who asked me to follow Penny's advice and go to a lawyer not just rely on asking random friends, acquaintances and bloggers.
I'm really not interested in a pointless debate about the morality or otherwise of orfi marriages or sexual intercourse with Egyptians to whom one is not married. Everyone will have their own immutable opinions.
posted ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
A little introduction on Egyptian culture wouldn't harm them. Why would foreign women accept things which most Egyptian women would never ever accept unless it's for their own advantage???
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)