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[QUOTE]Originally posted by katrina: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Monica: [b]Amina, I know what you are talking about.. an absent father or emotionally distant father is very hard on children.. When they grow up they feel they were rejected.. I was thinking more in the frame of Not telling her how mean he was, and how he neglected her.. so that later in life she does not feel sorry for herself for being not loved/rejected by one of her parents.. My point: her psychological well being!! I hope you are both well... [/b][/QUOTE] Actually Monica, I disagree with your statement. it is very hard on children when they see and remember the parent. If the daughter did not know her father and does not remember, it won't affect her that much at all. As long as she is surrounded wit love, compassion, and understanding by her mother and family, she won't be hurt at all. If she grew up with the cheating dad she would have been hurt more. What you do not know you do not feel rejected for. She would be worse off growing up with him, when he is always absent even on his days off, she would have felt jealousy later. Then she would have felt rejected. It is not a good idea to bring up a daughter with such a cheat and a liar anyway, not a good male role model. I actually believe in such cases when divorces occur on a disagreement between parents, kids should know both sides of the story: facts not bickering. The kids should be given an opportunity to observe each parent, whether living or visiting, and their interaction for kids to decide for themselves. This man is not going to change, too late!!!!!!!!!! if the girl saw him, she would have known his true nature, and I do not think she would ahve had hard feelings for herself but for her mother - yes. When she is old enough to handle the details, Amina may tell the details. She 'd better know the truth than she would be searching for it. It is more painful that way. But Amina would nto be able to hide it. At one point in time her daughter will ask her about what "happened to daddy". It is better to lay out the facts. Who knows, her daughter could be very thankful to Amina for making this decision, but for her daughter to make that decision, she needs the truth and know both parents to a certain extent at least. However, when one of the parents has "violent outbursts", not sure what is the best way, I am talking more about an average case. [This message has been edited by katrina (edited 14 August 2004).] [/QB][/QUOTE]
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