posted
Im sure some of you remember me. And the story about my fiance that cheated on me so much. Anyways its been a year since I left and we've been friends, very open and honest friends. I know of his dating girls. Strangely it doesnt bother me as much as I wouldve thought. Ive been dating quite a lot.
But I miss him. A lot. Ive never been one to cling to a guy, as a new one always comes along. But I cant forget him. And I know he still loves me.
I asked him and he said he cant live with me in the same house well kill each other. Which was true, but because of his cheating. And sadly he still doesnt see this.
I really feel scared that this was the one and that Ill never feel this way again. Ive met so many lovely guys who really liked me, but that special feeling is totally missing.
MK the Most Interlectual Member # 8356
posted
HI Gigli dear how are you?
Just wanted to let you know that one day you will look back at this phase of your life and ROFL@ how a fool in love you were, just like I did.
I was mourning for a man for 10 years! And now I am so thankful I didn't end up with him. God is really kind to me.
You WILL find a much better man, just don't be too busy looking. It will hit you when you least expect it. I promise you.
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
I have to agree with the Most Interlectual one here.
Now I look back and think 'what a jerk' i never thought I would ever feel like that again, and I suppose I dont..........its BETTER!! soooo much better
yorkshire rose Member # 12072
posted
i also agree the same happened to me, and everything works out for a reason, even if we really belive that this person was really the one, im not sure i ever feel like that again,
the pain will ease in time, and you will never forget, but just be able to accept it wasnt right for you,
one day another mr right will appear
akshar Member # 1680
posted
I think what you are feeling is most normal. Women invest much more heavily in a relationship. We really commit. And when it breaks up we can not switch off just like. In fact would you want to be the sort of woman that can. I value my integrity and the fact it takes me time to move on. I remember when I broke up with my first true love and thought if I stop loving him then I was untrue to myself. I was wrong. I did love him and you do stop loving them. Unless it is obsessive unreturned love eventually dies.
What you see when you look ahead is totally different from what you see when you look back.
Sashyra88 Member # 11693
posted
You WILL finally get over him.It can take more time than a year,you can be sure of that.But when that time comes you'll feel sooo good with your decision you'll look back with no regrets.
Tream Lefty Member # 6244
posted
quote:Originally posted by gigli: Im sure some of you remember me. And the story about my fiance that cheated on me so much. Anyways its been a year since I left and we've been friends, very open and honest friends. I know of his dating girls. Strangely it doesnt bother me as much as I wouldve thought. Ive been dating quite a lot.
But I miss him. A lot. Ive never been one to cling to a guy, as a new one always comes along. But I cant forget him. And I know he still loves me.
I asked him and he said he cant live with me in the same house well kill each other. Which was true, but because of his cheating. And sadly he still doesnt see this.
I really feel scared that this was the one and that Ill never feel this way again. Ive met so many lovely guys who really liked me, but that special feeling is totally missing.
I don't remember all of your story, but what you are feeling is *universal* I think. Sadly.
I remember foolishly laying in bed at night, crying my eyes out until they were swollen like big, red eggs (UGLY), praying to God to please let my boyfriend see how foolish he's being and start treating me better or whatever. Miserable nights on end (over months and months). When I *finally* broke free of that crap, I mean really broke free and stayed single/alone for several years, I ended up meeting someone who was a million times better than that idiot.
Not only will you feel such intense love again....it will be better. That being said, I think you really should cut all ties with this ex, because even if it feels friendly, it just continually reminds you of what was. Kick the baggage to the curb.
Rumicrazieluv Member # 12053
posted
I agree with lefty. I watched a friend do this and she drove herself nuts. She wanted to stay friends with him but went out of her mind every time he dated someone else. I finally asked her was the reason to stay friends because he was such a "wonderfully good guy" (he wasnt, he cheated and lied to her continuously for 3 yrs)? Or was it because she hoped by being a good "friend" he would one day wake up and realize she was the one for him? She admitted to the latter, broke off all contact, 2 weeks later she met the man she married and has been married to for 20 yrs!You shouldnt feel rejected luv, he is a jackass and isnt worthy of anything from you. You are a woman, and when one man doesnt appreciate you there are wonderful men waiting for the chance to love you. Take care and good luck.
mysticheart Member # 6838
posted
quote:Originally posted by gigli: Im sure some of you remember me. And the story about my fiance that cheated on me so much. Anyways its been a year since I left and we've been friends, very open and honest friends. I know of his dating girls. Strangely it doesnt bother me as much as I wouldve thought. Ive been dating quite a lot.
But I miss him. A lot. Ive never been one to cling to a guy, as a new one always comes along. But I cant forget him. And I know he still loves me.
I asked him and he said he cant live with me in the same house well kill each other. Which was true, but because of his cheating. And sadly he still doesnt see this.
I really feel scared that this was the one and that Ill never feel this way again. Ive met so many lovely guys who really liked me, but that special feeling is totally missing.
oh honey, I understand you completely, but he isnt the one if he will continue cheating. You love him completely, but apparently he doesnt love you in the same manner. No you cant live together, honey his cheating would destroy you. Yes it doesnt bother you as much as you thought cause you have put your mind in the he is my best friend mode even though i love him. I did the same thing before but my man hadn't cheated on me. You are not his girlfriend at the moment that is the only reason it doesnt bother you as much. I am so sorry that you have went through this, cause this feeling of the special thing missing with the new guys that are perfectly nice, its the exact feeling i spoke of when i said that i know i cant love anyone new, only the 2 that i am torn between at the moment(and no im not in any relation with either at this time) My heart is with you honey. I really really pray for you that you find peace inside and find someone to really love you that you can love in return cause no one should have to feel what you feel now
With a name like Smuckers Member # 10289
posted
I'm sorry you're still hurting, an injured heart takes time to heal, but if you learn something from it then it wasn't in vain. You need to find your STAR POWER - the things about you that make you wonderful and original and loveable and get a new outlook on your life and start over. When I used to get depressed I would do some volunteer work, it always put things into perspective for me.
Khadija_Diagne Member # 10149
posted
Gigli, take it from all of us here, you will get over this pain. Know that all things happen for the will of Allah, and in every cause in all our lives, things happen, and they are not in our control, and I am sure you know this. Beleive me, time heals all wounds.
gigli Member # 7682
posted
I wish I could still think of life as black and white. But sadly Ive seen so many grey areas. I used to work in the hospitality industry and Ive long since lost the illusion that most men are faithfull.
I didnt live with him when he cheated. I was in a different country and only saw him every so often. The last time I saw him, before I knew about the cheating things had changed a lot. There werent constant phonecalls from "friends" anymore and then I found out about the cheating and left.
Ill always wonder if things would have been different if I was in the same country. I myself was tempted more than once being apart from him, but luckily I dont have that testosterone problem. And I dont think he has ever had a serious relationship before me, he really tried so hard to change all his bachelor manners the last time I saw him.
So now Im not sure what to do. He still loves me, I know this. Should I go back and stay there for a while, see if he cheats even when Im around? The drawback would be I will get hurt again, but it wont be such a surprise and Im a strong girl.
Or I dont go and I always wonder.
gigli Member # 7682
posted
And Ill never think hes a bad person. He has some faults that I clearly know about, but I love him inspite of that.
He made mistakes, the question is just if I can live with them. Torn in two.
Alchemist Member # 12318
posted
The better question is, why would you want to? Believe me any guy who cheats will do it again. Just the next time they do it, they will be smarter about it and hide it better. He will never be the person you want him to be, he will only be the person he is. Truly I wish you would take these things he has done to you and hold on to them long enough to give you the strength to completely break away from him. Ultimately you will do what you want regardless of the advice people try to give you but let me tell you, you will regret more, the wasted years of your life spent with a loser who you already know is a cheater, than you will regret moving on and not giving him another chance. He doesn't deserve another chance, but you do, another chance for a guy who will truly love you.
-Sarah
yorkshire rose Member # 12072
posted
May be you guys just need some tme and if you still love eachother over a couple of years or so, try again, You never know what the future holds
mysticheart Member # 6838
posted
Why dont you ask him if you were in the same country if he would be faithful, seems that he is telling you about the other women now so ask his opinion. Sweetheart only you know in your heart what to do, just as me. It took me a long time to accept what i already knew. Ask yourself what is the truth, are you reaching for something that can never really be but you are wishing for? or are you reaching for something that is real
Am I bovvered(WOTEVER) Member # 11942
posted
At the moment you're still hurting as you put a lot of time, energy and love into this man. It's normal to feel like this and go through a 'grieving' process, only you will know when you are ready and whole again. That special someone will come along, maybe not right now, or next month as the time isn't right but he will and you'll know it. Right now you should be concetrating on you and what makes you happy, and making yourself stronger.
If he cheated once then what's to stop him from doing it again?? be thankful that you escaped now rather than in 10 years time when you're married with a couple of kids, then you'd be in a worse situation.
Good luck sweetie, chin up, and smile, smile, smile.
Alchemist Member # 12318
posted
Good advice, smile, because what is that saying? You never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.
habedu Member # 7025
posted
hi gigile,, lemme give you a man's adivce ,, some men needs to be ignored for a while ,, actually all you need it ignoring hio for a while ,, and belive me ,, when you do this he's going crazey about you ,, but the trick is that you ignore him and then give him some .. the ignore him back ,, all I mean is that your guy seem to be that kind ,, he got bored of you if you are so sticked to him ,, then he starts to find another one to sui ,, but if you are not sticked to him ,, he'll always trys to pay your attention ,,and he'll never find a time to find other girl ,, I can help you get him back never lose him again ,, just ry to ignore him for a while ..and if he got crazey , this is ok ,, because he used to you sticked to his side ,, then answer but not in the way he see's that his right and you did a big mistake , just answer him simply of the way , hey whats up , I had no time , I had too many things to do ,,, sooo on and lemme know whaat happen yours BOB
mysticheart Member # 6838
posted
perfectly said habedu, it is true with alot of men, such as my ex boyfriend. When i am not his, well ,he loves me, when i am, he backs off and starts taking for granted.
Am I bovvered(WOTEVER) Member # 11942
posted
so he cheats on her because he's crazy about her????? yeah that's logic.and he got bored of her??? yeah that makes sense???
Lets play house - I'll be the mat that you can wipe your feet on.
I wonder what the response would be if she did the smae to him 'cos she got 'bored'
habedu Member # 7025
posted
well,, belive it or not ,, but I'm truely giving advice of what I noticed,,so many ppl get bored of the stickey woman ,, I know it's childish way,, but we all know that men in most cases , childern with P**** ,so they always wanna the new toy , if they have , they start to get bored of it ,, my advice for her , was only to make him feel that he never has her,, he always trying to make her pay attention ,, thats it in the simple way thanks BOB
posted ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
i never thought I would ever feel like that again, and I suppose I dont..........its BETTER!! soooo much better ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
That being said, I think you really should cut all ties with this ex, because even if it feels friendly, it just continually reminds you of what was. Kick the baggage to the curb. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)