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Not really an Egypt topic but a very interesting one.
What can you tell about living in a harem? Do you know anyone who joined one or is currently residing in one? What to expect if one gets chosen and agrees to become a member of a harem?
Any links out for more information? How about books, autobiographies of former harem women?
How do these men find their women?
Are they always foreign women or also Arab women? Are foreign women considered available for fun and Arab women for the offspring?
Anyone knows more?
Sobriquet Member # 13217
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Technically Harems don’t exist anymore unless you regard four wives as a Harem. Islamic law limits marriage to four wives however what some Emirs do is maintain the first wife and the second and usually divorce the third and fourth and replace them with newer wives.
I read a book into a practice that is similar to a Harem. The Emir would have scouts that search for potential wives according to his criteria. Such marriages may last a few days and some much longer. Usually there is a madam who advises and instructs the new wife as to what the Emir likes or dislikes. An example of this instruction is as follows.
Do not style your hair leave it hanging naturally Wear such and such Do not initiate sex and do not respond simply comply with the Emir’s actions Never Smoke Don’t talk too much and Don’t talk about such and such Erc
If the Emir enjoys here he would order the ‘madam’ to keep her and she would remain in the Palace with her own separate quarters. She would have her own servants, allowance and if the Emir likes her very much he would give her gifts and take her on trips.
The longer the new wife remains married the more power and wealth accumulates. The first and second wives almost never live in the same Palace but live in their own private residences with their children. Sometimes the newer wives become pregnant and in such event a settlement is reached with the mother and child receiving financial security. The children could reach more than 50 and at parties the Emir sometimes enquires about a young lady only to find out it is his own daughter as was the case with the former Emir of Kuwait (Al-Sabah).
Sobriquet Member # 13217
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I forgot to add that yes foreign women are also part of the Harem but they usually don't last long
yazid904 Member # 7708
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Anyone can belong to a haram but it is a convenience thing and few women talk about it! IF a woman can enjoy the benefit and move on, then it is great. Usually wealthy patrons are the 'sayyid'. Foreign women, though they may be part of the haram, they tend not to be trusted. Why? When they become dissatisied or try to dictate to the sayyid, it is over. They call the newspapers, negotiate to do a movie, write a book, etc whilst the local women just follow the status quo! There is no choice or redress!
homing pigeon Member # 8039
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You guys are serious? these things still exist?
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Oh great, thanks so much for the infos and the links to books. Keep them coming!
But was anyone of you ever in contact with someone who lived in a harem? Experience first hand I mean?
????? Member # 12336
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Yes, more then once. But in common these women don`t know that they`re not the only wife. But even if they know, they`re not happy about it. It looks like a natural reaction: They all want to be the one and only. BTW, once I saw a weblog about a Canadian woman who is a fourth wife. She lives in Cairo, her husband has several wifes, and is living in Europe. She was pregnant of her fifth child, nad that news-article of a few weeks ago about a woman who tried to kill herself after discovering her husband wanted to marry a new wife, was part of it. Maybe you can find it back...
spasm Member # 12981
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I have a memoir or a real Harem woman , here is part of her memoir ,
“My real name is Mariyah, Mariyah El-Abiad, but they have always called me Marie. Marie was a fair compromise—a Muslim name shortened to a French name. Neither a Muslim cleric nor Catholic priest could be offended. My mother was the daughter of a senior French Embassy official and my father a Tunisian Government minister responsible for purchasing military supplies. I considered myself a fortunate woman to be born in Tunisia to a Tunisian father of Arab and Berber descent and a French mother. Although my Catholic mother embraced Islam within her marriage she never fully adopted all the customs and teachings, and insisted that I, unlike most women, be given that rarest of gifts—an education. It was my mother, by means unknown to me, who enrolled me in the private French Embassy School, although by the rules of admission I was not entitled to attend. I learned to read and write both Arabic and French and received instruction in the arts. My drawing and sketching skills were amateurish, but adequate for illustrating the short stories and poems that I loved to write. It was here that I met Jacqueline, the French Ambassador’s daughter, my best friend and constant companion. I shall remain forever indebted to my mother for what she gave me. Two younger brothers, Mamoud and Amenzu, at this time more of a nuisance and of no significance to an older sister, completed my family. I loved them all dearly, my brothers included. Looking back, I see my mother as a loving sensuous woman. At the time, I did not fully realize or understand the depth of her sensuality or the release she sought. Now, upon reflection it all falls into place. I can see her, now in my minds eye, cooking my father’s favorite meal, Moroccan tajine, singing or humming a song, aware of herself, moving more slowly and gracefully than usual. These were signs that she was moving towards a special evening. Dressed in one of her French gowns, tight fitting at the waist, attractively low cut at the front, my mother would lean over unnecessarily low and close to serve my father, the fragrance of her closeness lingering in the air, suggesting things to come. Often I peeked through the kitchen window after my father had come home from work, and on more than one occasion I saw him standing behind my mother as she went about her preparations, his hands feeling her through layers of clothing, while he nuzzled her neck and mussed her hair. She sometimes feigned rejection of his advances, pushing him away with a backwards thrust of her bottom, and then, as though forgiving him for his boldness, she would turn her face to his and peck him on his cheek. He was her little chou-chou and I was encouraged about married life. I was fifteen years old when I caught a glimpse of the book on the bedside table, open at a colorful illustration showing a turbaned Sultan and a naked woman in a close embrace. It was quickly, yet casually picked up by my mother, closed and placed in a drawer—followed by a slight blush and forced conversation. We went about our bed-making chores, she hoping that I had not seen what I saw, I with my curiosity aroused. A few weeks after this incident my parents took a short sojourn to the Tell Atlas mountains, and my friend Jacqueline stayed overnight with me. We had been close friends for many years, sharing the bonds of age, the French language, and the same school. After dinner, we excused ourselves from the watchful eye of the housekeeper, and the bothersome squabbling of my brothers, and went to my bedroom, but only after I retrieved the book from the drawer in my mother’s bedside table. It was an illustrated Guide to Burton’s Tales of the Arabian Nights, 1001 Nights. Since it was written in English, I could not read it; however, Jacqueline could, having lived with her parents in London before her father's promotion to French Ambassador to Tunisia. We lay side by side on the bed, leafing through the pages, pausing at the pictures, while Jacqueline translated the captions from English to French, and we posed, practiced and re-enacted each romantic scene, taking turns being the man and then the woman. New awareness and sensations swept through our bodies—newly formed bodies—barely out of puberty. New awareness and sensations we could not control, feelings Jacqueline and I had not yet learned to take further. We were two cats in heat. And we giggled and danced with each other in that scandalous European way, to imaginary music played in an imaginary crystal ballroom with a make-believe handsome prince in our arms. Jacqueline showed me how to kiss the French way, with mouth open and tongue searching tongue, she saying beyond her years, “French girls kiss this way to show a man they have desire for him.” She also taught me to wink at the French boys as we passed by them at school. “If you open your mouth while you wink the power of love will compel them to come to you and kiss you on your lips,” she said. “Ugh,” I thought at the time, and always winked with my mouth closed.
spasm Member # 12981
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Later in her memoir , she joined the harem willingly and she mentioned the very tiny details of her exotic adventure , her daily activities , her intimate practices and all the advantages and disadvantages of being a harem woman ….
mi feng Member # 9378
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I would like to live in a harem. A man harem. And I can be the boss. I got enough work here for about 4 or 5 men, and I need different ones to satisfy the various parts of my personality and my huge intellect. Here are the openings: I need a poet - a man who can discuss the way my hair is spread across the pillow and the mystery of stars. He will be a philosopher too. I need a redneck - a man who will skin wolves and seals with me and hunt blue-winged teals and deer and drink beer and listen to David Allen Coe. I need a latin dancer. We will do Pilates and Bikrams in the mornings and eat very small lunches and rehearse a couple hours each night and be very hot by the time we go to bed. An old man. Caz they're cool. Maybe a sculptor or tinker or watchmaker. I will encourage him to cut his steak in smaller pieces and he will ignore me. A real estate developer. We will be a fascinating, funny couple at cocktail parties - I have the clothes, he can drive. We will be a power couple and plan out strategic developments in up and coming neighborhoods. I can do the historical commission paperwork for him with the architect and lawyers while he secures some partners and buys some purple labels. I am sure I am forgetting someone, so divorce will play a role in the scene.
Samia Member # 4691
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The good thing about being in a harem of a rich ugly man....... you don't have to sleep with him too often!!!
Tigerlily Member # 3567
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Samia you forgot to add..... unless you are his *No. 1*!
Sashyra88 Member # 11693
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Usually the #1 is the girl to bear his first son.
soma Member # 12876
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wow guys , harem is meaning for man in islam have just more than one wife , but i see here are joke aroung islam give rights for 4 wifes for the man but here it's easy thoughts: always the god created every things as pair of it , so there are big great balance day night , water fire , light dark and also man there are always woman , so because the god have known everythings before we just can imagine or think about it , so the god know that : the men will die more than the women , because almost solders in the wars are the mean ? okay for example : in the second world war how much man ,guy or male die on it ? it's 50 million so this one and now if you look at almost euro nations there are more statistics says there are man for 8 women and more nations have these so the female have 3 options A-she sit in her home didn't have sex ,B- she have a sex with any man like we know that happen in more nation she sleep with this and she quiet and try another one and on and on ... and last option she can marry a man and same man can marry another so she and her females can find meaning for the marry , but there are more see the god solution is weird but what the solution they like the boyfriend can do whatever he want to do like sleep with me or cam me or he can have love with other female or she can look for another guy or no for 100 guys all her life finially she didn't marry any but she get more kids with no fathers or the guys maybe don't care to see them because they have another girlfriend or wife , wow i like this system , no marry but more guys sleep with me and i have no rights to get from them interesting !!!! which more fair ? have husband and he marry another but i have rights and kids see and grow with him or sleep with 1000 guys and more kids and no rights add for that there are more females just have them pets to live with them ? but for harem we don't have to say that like it's bad words it's really bad one why cause the main reason of this word it's come appear when before the prophet come there was a slaves woman , these slaves have this name HAREM the master but the guy slave is called : ABD but after the prophet come and the god cut the way for any slaves so some rich people use this word on their wives but it's not good words for them , that's all
Samia Member # 4691
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Also nice having some help with the housework!!!
ZAME Member # 12914
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You need to find a muslim marriage broker. It's about $100 for a 24 hour marriage.$300 of a one or two month marriage... We call it prostitution, infidelity and premarital sex in the west. They make up a little contract saying that in exchange for a few buck, the guy gets sex and has no further responsiblity to her or any children. Of course to use this Allah sanctioned form of prostition you will have to convert to Islam (or at least pretend to). Misyar opens happiness door to Saudis http://www.middle-east-online.com/English/sau... Misyar Marriage — a Marvel or Misery? http://www.arabnews.com/?page=9§ion=0... The Mut'ah Pimps http://www.islamicthinkers.com/index/index.ph...
MissJambi Member # 13261
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hugh hefner...perfect example of an american harem.
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