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[QUOTE]Originally posted by mysticheart: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: [qb] But this is the part that bothered me in what she said: [QUOTE] Children are happy and he treats them very well, perhaps too well because he says yes to things i would say no too, but, I have to learn to adjust the house rules to his rules as well as mine. [/QUOTE]It's already setting up to be difficult as she has always said yes to some things and he is coming in and NOW saying no, even he hasn't moved in as the new husband/step father. He sounds like he might be trying to 'win them over' by saying yes and this is going to contradict her as their mother and threaten her role as the major caregiver for most of their lives so far. I would have the same issues if a grandparent did this, as it confuses the child and puts in jeopardy the role of the parent to the child. [/qb][/QUOTE]You got it backwards smucks, he says yes where i would normally say no, he is easier on them than i am. My youngest asked if we could go do something and i was just opening my mouth to say no not today and he automatically answered sure, go get ready. My instinct was to say hey, wait a minute but i stopped in realizing that this is now his home too and he is part of the family and very well should be making some of the decisions not just me so, I let him have that. He isnt trying to take over by any means, he usually asks me what i want or asks what the children wants, its just small things that he just automatically answers to the children when they ask can we or can i, nothing big. Perhaps I am too strict with them. Momen never involved himself with my children, only asked about them if one was sick. Never bothered himself about the house either, as he saw it, i had my life here and he had his there and until we were living together that is how it was. My husband now as you can see is completely involved, always asking of the kids if he isnt here, sending them love and missing them now, they got along really well. My older 2 are nearly 16 and 18, the son is the oldest and he was too busy with gf to hang out with us much but he thinks its all cool, doesnt live with me so that isnt an issue. 16 yr old thinks highly, she says he is so cool and mom smiles some so its good, sends him hi and miss you's, its rather cute. Her boyfriend stayed with us as well, i think he and husband will soon be inseperable, the boy even hugged him at airport. Things will settle nicely once i settle into the whole thing. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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