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Ok I need advice or suggestions. 3 years ago I lent a friend a substantial amount of money. I completely trusted her otherwise I would not have offered. Last year I received a 1/3 of the money back. Since then nothing, she lives in England so I haven't seen her in a while. She was planning on selling her home and buisness to move abroad to be with her husband who had retired there, so I would get the money when she sold up. Last December I mentioned that I felt she was avoiding me, by text. The reply was that was she was working all the hours to pay me back and that she would be forced to take out a loan to pay me back, (the guilt trip I think!) The fact she had been to visit her husband at his villa for up to 6 weeks seemed to pass her by. Meanwhile I had not been able to visit my other half for 6 months! She then informed me that she was divorcing him (they have always had a tempestious relationship) and I would get my money from her divorce settlement. Contacted her a couple of weeks ago and she was visiting soon to be ex with her mum and grandaughter to 'sort things out'! I am just looking for outside input as to what I can do. I realise with hindsight I was stupid so I don't need this to be banged home to me. . It's a bit ironic that I am here asking advice about being ripped off by a friend and not my husband who as I type is working between 12 and 16 hours a day, doing his best for us.
marydot Member # 15932
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Its very sad when you lend a friend money in good faith and they dont pay it back.Sounds like she is avoiding you in a way by not responding.Cant you phone her and get her off guard and see what she has to say.Sounds like she has alot of problems.. or maybe she is too ashamed to get in contact with you because she cant afford to pay you back as agreed.Or you could write her a letter if you know her address.Sounds like she cant afford to pay you back but it would be good to admit this to you then keep you left wondering.Try the letter maybe she will respond to this rather than a phone call.
mylife Member # 14219
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Ask her straight, can she afford to pay you back as if she cannot, see if you can arrange with her to pay you back monthly amount straight into your bank acount, good on hubby for working them long hours, i work similar but my limit is 13 hours so i take my hat off to him......sometimes its hard to confront a friend over money but its your money and if she was any kind of friend she would be willing to come to a arrangement good luck.....
Penny Member # 1925
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Contact her and discuss the situation and arrange to set up a repayment plan over a number of years based on what she can realistically afford. Make sure you add interest as well to compensate you for the time it will take her to repay. Have a look at any bank website and most of them have loan repayment calculators. Ensure a direct debit is then set up to repay direct to your bank. It may take time but its better than just leaving it.
If it really is alot of money also consider taking a charge on her home as security, it's not very difficult to set up and at least then you know you will get the money in the end.
Know how you feel I have the a similar situation, and regret doing it as it damages the friendship in the end. I would certainly think twice in the future before trying to help out friends in this way which is very sad.
Kalila : ) Member # 14517
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Iwas in this position in the 90's i loaned a friend of some 15yrs some money and then didn't see her again for a couple of years. We finally met again by chance and i asked her straight out for repayment you know what she laughed sraight in my face i was so angry i took her to court and was awarded my money back plus a considerable amount in damages and she had to pay the court costs as well needless to say i had the last laugh,TAKE HER TO COURT AND GET BACK WHAT SHE OWES YOU
Dawn-Bev* Member # 15190
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oh no ................
I lent my brother some money about 18 years ago and he's never paid me back
Dzosser Member # 9572
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What if you cannot prove your claim in court ? Is there any sort of paper between you ? If not then arrange to meet her in a black limo, lower that black tinted glass, give her a deadline for payment, if it expires..send in your thugs to finish the matter.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: What if you cannot prove your claim in court ? Is there any sort of paper between you ? If not then arrange to meet her in a black limo, lower that black tinted glass, give her a deadline for payment, if it expires..send in your thugs to finish the matter.
I agree partially with Dzosser. If you feel that taking her to court is your last resort you need to have proof.
Ayisha Member # 4713
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I sympathize YAH, done it twice and not heard bugger all from either of my 'really good friends'
Ford Prefect (not perfect) Member # 9338
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I don't lend money with expectations that I will ever get it back. In other words I "lend" as a gift, then if they ever do repay it, it's a bonus, otherwise it was just a gift. This has saved me allot of headaches over the years, and probably family feuds heheh
VanillaBullshit Member # 10873
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quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect (not perfect): I don't lend money with expectations that I will ever get it back. In other words I "lend" as a gift, then if they ever do repay it, it's a bonus, otherwise it was just a gift. This has saved me allot of headaches over the years, and probably family feuds heheh
Wise words.
My motto: if you lend a friend money and you never see them again, it was worth it.
satanmademedoit Member # 11766
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Mmh Fee, a pool cue comes to mind!
Dzosser Member # 9572
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Never lend money..always take it.
HandsUpHandsDown Member # 15410
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quote:Originally posted by VanillaBullshit:
quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect (not perfect): I don't lend money with expectations that I will ever get it back. In other words I "lend" as a gift, then if they ever do repay it, it's a bonus, otherwise it was just a gift. This has saved me allot of headaches over the years, and probably family feuds heheh
Wise words.
My motto: if you lend a friend money and you never see them again, it was worth it.
Ditto. I never expect back money that I lend. If I get it back, it's a bonus.
young at heart Member # 10365
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Well I spoke to my friend last night and the divorce is off and her move abroad is back on. She has a buyer for her house and is looking to complete in about 3 weeks so she has promised me I will get my money in full after that. Just have to keep the old fingers crossed! I don't want to lose her as a friend as we have seen each other through some dark times over the years. Thankyou all for your input.It is sad to read that I am not alone and that others have experienced the same thing. I'll let you know if the party is at mine
Questionmarks Member # 12336
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Watching Murray-Wawrinka?
young at heart Member # 10365
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You bet QM
Questionmarks Member # 12336
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It's a great match! Have fun, and...if you'll get the change, visit Wimbledon, it's marvelous...
young at heart Member # 10365
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Which matches did you see? The roof certainly has been useful tonight. Have everything crossed for Andy to win!
The matches weren't as excited as the match from yesterday. Many short points, kind of serve and volley play. Except for the ladies, they made longer ralley's. But the whole atmosphere is different as what I am used to. I was invited by Dunlop-Slazenger and the director told me about the organisation from such a tournament, because that's my special interest and my work. They are working the whole year to welcome half a million guests in only two weeks. Just before the tournament starts they have to send a special team only to secure the windcloths, which are specially designed for Wimbledon, with a very small logo of Slazenger. Big logo's are not allowed. As a sponsor and world-market-leader from the balls, they get only 10 sponsor-tickets each year, the policy is that the tournament is for the people of England, and so they avoid a stadium filled with bobo's. ( sponsors and officials) It's impressive, and much different as, for instance, Roland Garros. Next wish is visiting the US-Open, also special in his kind. One of my trainers told me last week he should like to go too- but had to save money for that - so probably I'll going there next year ( IF it connects to WC football in South Africa, because there we will go too) I'm a tournament freak...
young at heart Member # 10365
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Glad you had a good time QM. My friends sister was lucky enough to get tickets by the ballot system. One day I'll get there. By the way I bought a swingball (not quite tennis) and we had a replay of last years Wimbledon. Federer (him), Nadal (me). Ofcourse Nadal won 8 to 1 !!!.It actually was really good. Took me back to my childhood
Questionmarks Member # 12336
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8-1, that's convincing enough! :)Could Federer handle his loss????
young at heart Member # 10365
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Well he's still speaking to me
young at heart Member # 10365
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Well the news is good: The money due was paid back in full into my bank account this morning
tina kamal Member # 13845
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quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Well the news is good: The money due was paid back in full into my bank account this morning
wow now u can take us all on a trip lolol good for u sweety
young at heart Member # 10365
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No probs Tina! If everyone wants to come I think it'll be a trip to the end of the road
tina kamal Member # 13845
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quote:Originally posted by young at heart: No probs Tina! If everyone wants to come I think it'll be a trip to the end of the road
as long as the road ends and not drops off a cliff.
young at heart Member # 10365
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No cliffs I promise!
Dawn-Bev* Member # 15190
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hooray!!!!!!!!
tina kamal Member # 13845
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ok who is commin to hearts party?? what country are u in??yall will all have to come to usa cas i caint go to yall..
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