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In USA, I am used to seeing hubbies help out the exhausted wife/mother by occasionally changing daipers or taking a turn getting up in the night to comfort the baby. Was told by Egyptian male this does not happen in Egypt and only the woman will do this with no help from the husband, even if she works full time. AND he says the women don't WANT the help. Can that be true? Again, I don't live there so that I ask to know the TRUTH.
stayingput Member # 14989
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The house and the children are her job.
Is that what you think you should hear?
The fact is Egyptian men are, for the very most part, caring and dedicated fathers.
Cheekyferret Member # 15263
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From what I have seen it depends on the man, bit like in the UK. I have seen dedicated fathers who contribute equally and I have seen fathers who wouldn't know how to change a nappy or make up a bottle if the instructions were written in the baby!!!
When I worked in a nursery many fathers would drop the kids off and tell me what food they had packed and tell me their mood that morning etc. Very attentive and caring.
Questionmarks Member # 12336
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I don't recognise myself in the describtion 'exhausted mothers' Anyway, becoming a mother automatically means broken nights, crying babies, a lot of feeding, changing diapers, and worries because you have no idea why he/she is crying again. The fact that a woman gives birth to a bay, gives brestfeeding, and the tradition makes that a woman in common will share more time with the baby as her husband is doing. Men tend to act like they have two left-hands and perhaps they are scared that they will hurt that tiny screaming thing. They don't know what to do with it. So, they have to learn. Taking a bath together can be a first step. I think this counts for all men, not only Egyptian. It is possible that your Egyptian has a bit more male pride, or a bit more tradition in his blood, so perhaps he needs to be (gently) pushed into the direction you want him to be. But I don't think it's something like "I don't want to" but more like " Please don't make me look like a cissy, I'm afraid my friends will make fun of me" That doesn't mean he doesn't love his child. Most men adore their children...
anthropos Member # 9410
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In the beginning, my husband thought that is only job as a father was to provide for the family. but soon he realized that it is only fair to contribute 50% when the mother works as well and needs her private life also. Now he changes diapers, cooks dinners for the baby and does everything that I do. He even washes the baby's clothes. In fact I would say that he does more than me now because I am so exhausted from the pregnancy.
Culture Club Member # 13767
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quote:Originally posted by Ocean Blue: ... Was told by Egyptian male this does not happen in Egypt and only the woman will do this with no help from the husband, even if she works full time. AND he says the women don't WANT the help. Can that be true? Again, I don't live there so that I ask to know the TRUTH.
Hubby is very helpful when he is not busy with his works. His favourite tasks are to lullaby the twins and to carry twins after taking bath.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
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I lived with an Egyptian family and I visit other Egyptian families (higher middle class to upper class) and I can tell you that Egyptian fathers in general don't help. The mother does all the work or they got their nannies to look after the children, also do the homework with them. The got a driver to take the offspring to karate lessons. Strangely I witnessed that fathers would come home from work to just say hello to their children and go to the bedroom and stay there. That was back in the 90's.
Perhaps the younger generation of Egyptian men is different and include in their role next to providing also child caring and that would be a blessing but unfortunately that wasn't the case while I was there.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
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Anthropos and Culture Club it's nice to hear that your husbands are actively involved with their offspring. It's so rewarding for both sides and makes mom happy too.
cloudberry Member # 11163
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Like TL I also think and have gotten the idea that IN GENERAL men do not help. Having read many studies about Egyptian family life, in some of those studies it is clearly stated that home is The Area for women and also many women do NOT even want help from their husbands. The reason: it will make a man look like a woman and this is not good. Those women who accepted some help with children and home duties said that you need to hide this from neighbors so they won't start "talking".
But of course there are exceptions, more and more nowadays.
metinoot Member # 17031
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What I do recall is when Egyptian emigrate to the west they have a tendancy to become extremely religious and traditional. Thus they don't want to do the dirty work raising kids and if they do they don't want anyone to know that they have.
Western men might parade around delighted that they toughed out a very disguisting nappy change, but in reality its kinda like a 5 year old frying earth worms. Same euphoria.
I have seen Egyptian men in Egypt doing the funstuff, and occasionally get caught doing the gross stuff too.
waking up at 2am to do a feeding? do men have lactating mamorary glands?
Adult men who are fathers will do any parental chore that is gross when it is fun and something that brings them back to that age, Egyptian or western.
Playing Mrs. Resentful only makes him feel more alienated. Include him and don't treat it as a chore or burden, present diapers as an activity akin to "frying worms" and they will delight in the grossness.
Men, especially paternal men enjoy children because they get to relive all the fun of their childhood. Which means gross, not burden or chore.
akshar Member # 1680
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Don't forget that many couples live in family houses with other women (granny and aunts) so there is always a willing pair of hands to help out
weirdkitty Member # 15365
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Sam is perfect with Zain. Changes nappys, helps with baths, dresses him etc. Any time I'm tired he'll take him to another room and look after him whilst I sleep. He can't do the feeding, but will do anything for us whilst I am (cooking, getting me a drink etc). He is a great hands on dad.
Snapdragon Member # 9036
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quote:Originally posted by Ocean Blue: In USA, I am used to seeing hubbies help out the exhausted wife/mother by occasionally changing daipers or taking a turn getting up in the night to comfort the baby. Was told by Egyptian male this does not happen in Egypt and only the woman will do this with no help from the husband, even if she works full time. AND he says the women don't WANT the help. Can that be true? Again, I don't live there so that I ask to know the TRUTH.
My egyptian husband helps with both of our kids. He bathes, dresses, fixes the hair, prepares bottles, feeds, cleans up, changes diapers, etc.
He also helps with household duties.
What he doesn't do... the grocery shopping, washing clothes or bathroom cleaning. (unless I ask nicely) He "knows" how to operate the washer/dryer but I prefer my white socks/shirts to stay white and not another color.
When we lived in Egypt he helped out in the flat also but we did not have kids at that time.
I know of many egyptian fathers who also help out and some who do not.... It just depends on who your hubby is.
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