posted
This probably isn't the best way to introduce myself to this forum, but here goes...
I'm a 25 year old American woman. I met and began to date an Egyptian man about 2 months ago. He recently asked me to have an "Islamic marriage" with him to, essentially, keep him out of trouble with God. Long story short, he wants to do more than just hang out with me in public. I told him we would discuss it further after Ramadan.
He explained that it requires nothing more than 2 witnesses and a verbal agreement. I did a small amount of research and found little information on it.
Well, now that I am tempted to say yes, I learn that he has been engaged for almost two years and will be going to Egypt to get married in December. I told him that I was definitely not interested in any kind of marriage with him (Islamic or otherwise)...especially since it seems as though he is only doing it so he can get some action before he goes back to his Egyptian fiancee.
He freaked out and said I am overreacting. She is in a different country, so it's not like I'd be with a married man. Plus, he'd be mine 11 months of the year. The 12th month, he would be visiting her (e.g. having sex, raising kids, sleeping in her bed).
I'm not dumb and I'm totally not falling for this line of bull, but I have to know if this has actually worked out well for anybody. I doubt I'm the only person who sees this as a big no-no. Am I really overreacting that much? Is it as common as it seems?
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
common, yes and no.Depends on the man and the woman of course.
an 'Islamic marriage' is a bit more than 2 witnesses and a 'verbal agreement'.
No you are not over reacting, I'd tell him to go multiply with himself.
It does work for some limited people, normally those foreign women who have no idea about the Egy baby machine he married back home. You are 25, you can have kids, so why is it he needs an Egyptian wife anyway? sounds like he's just wanting to use you for some action and falsely thinking he can make it right with God by this 'verbal islamic marriage' bull.
lulis Member # 19377
posted
Hello Ayisha, i can see that u know about the kind of marry she asked about it..., i wonder if you know about the military restriction to marry a foreign, i mean, egyptian military guy with foreign?...i would appreciate any information.
Thx
citizen Member # 1344
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An Egyptian woman wouldn't do it. Ask him if he would agree if you made the same request of him... How dare he freak out! Total lack of respect for you and your feelings...
citizen Member # 1344
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Lulis, get your man to answer your question. All he has to do is go to the military and ask, not a big deal, it's his country, his system, why are you enquiring of foreigners?
tina m Member # 13845
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well everyone knows how i feel about 2 wives.. so let me ask u this??if u were married to an american man would u let him have a misstress?or be a bigamist?? hell no we dont stand for being second best here with our men. so y would u wanna be the 2nd choice to a woman u dont know?
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
Hi lulis, not sure what you mean. I do know that police are not allowed to marry foreigners, or so I heard, for security reasons. The usual question about military and marriage here is that marrying a foreigner will stop a man being enlisted, this is not true although it used to be. Marrying a foreigner will no longer stop a man from his service in the army.
Penny Member # 1925
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quote:Originally posted by aero_mech:
He freaked out and said I am overreacting. She is in a different country, so it's not like I'd be with a married man. Plus, he'd be mine 11 months of the year. The 12th month, he would be visiting her (e.g. having sex, raising kids, sleeping in her bed).
I'm not dumb and I'm totally not falling for this line of bull, but I have to know if this has actually worked out well for anybody. I doubt I'm the only person who sees this as a big no-no. Am I really overreacting that much? Is it as common as it seems?
Actually I think you are UNderreacting by the fact that you are still even conversing with the man.
He is living in a Western country and what he is proposing is illegal, it's called bigamy. Tell him to get some dam respect for the system he is now living under and if he wants two wives then to go back and live in his own country.
What he is proposing does not put him right with God if it's against the system of the society & laws he is living under.
Grrrrrrrr hypocrisy make me mad !
lulis Member # 19377
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thanks everybody...
aero_mech Member # 19389
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Ayisha - Where can I find information about the type of marriage he is referring to? Or, at least, the name of it.
I really appreciate everybody's input.
Before I met him I knew nothing about Egypt or Muslims. Everything I knew until recently, I'd learned from him. I had to know if I'm just nuts for thinking that sounded bad or if it was something happens all of the time.
It appears as though he should be fully aware that what he is trying to do is wrong. Now, I'm going to arm myself with some information and educate his disrespectful ass on a few things he needs to know about his own culture. I'm sure it will amount nothing and he will continue being a slime ball, but maybe he'll think before he tries this an another American...even if for just a second.
Though, I do have to give him *some* kudos on coming up with what has to be the most elaborate attempt to get down my pants that I've encountered.
tina m Member # 13845
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nothin worg with gettin laid as long as u know hes marring someone else right?if he is here in the us hell use him for all u can why not he was gonna screw u before u felt it right?
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
quote:Originally posted by aero_mech: Ayisha - Where can I find information about the type of marriage he is referring to? Or, at least, the name of it.
There is no type of marriage that is with 2 witnesses and a 'verbal agreement', even Orfi you sign a paper, which you can't do in US or outside of Egypt anyway, so he's bullshitting there
quote:I really appreciate everybody's input.
Before I met him I knew nothing about Egypt or Muslims. Everything I knew until recently, I'd learned from him. I had to know if I'm just nuts for thinking that sounded bad or if it was something happens all of the time.
Here in Egypt there is Orfi marriage where you and your 2 male witnesses sign with a lawyer, this 'contract' allows you to be together and ripping it up is 'divorce', if it's then registered in court it is a legal marriage which may or may not be recognized in your country and a proper divorce is required to end it, ripping it up wont do. But nothing about any 'verbal agreement'.
quote:It appears as though he should be fully aware that what he is trying to do is wrong.
No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here.
quote:Now, I'm going to arm myself with some information and educate his disrespectful ass on a few things he needs to know about his own culture. I'm sure it will amount nothing and he will continue being a slime ball, but maybe he'll think before he tries this an another American...even if for just a second.
don't waste your time, he will say what you want to hear and move on to find someone more gullible. But tell him Ramadan Kareem from me and remind him God is closer to him than his jugular vein and one day he will meet Him
quote:Though, I do have to give him *some* kudos on coming up with what has to be the most elaborate attempt to get down my pants that I've encountered.
nah that's not elaborate, that's normal and learnt at school here
aero_mech Member # 19389
posted
Ha ha! Thank you, Ayisha. It was elaborate for me and the crap I've heard people come up with. Most guys just seem to grunt and point at their privates. This guy actually tried to make me believe that there was some chance in Hell I could be happy with him.
I asked him questions I already knew the answers to, ripped his head off, and he said, "...but I still like you." I informed him what he could do with that "like".
Tina, in no way is that how I operate.
Sashyra8 Member # 14488
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"No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
Word.
Ayisha Member # 4713
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quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: "No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
Word.
huh?
Sashyra8 Member # 14488
posted
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: "No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
Word.
huh?
I meant its totally true your comment.
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: "No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
Word.
huh?
I meant its totally true your comment.
course it is woman!
*throws sashy off a cliff*
Sashyra8 Member # 14488
posted
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: "No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
Word.
huh?
I meant its totally true your comment.
course it is woman!
*throws sashy off a cliff*
*pushes Ayisha off her boat into the Nile*
Ayisha Member # 4713
posted
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: "No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
Word.
huh?
I meant its totally true your comment.
course it is woman!
*throws sashy off a cliff*
*pushes Ayisha off her boat into the Nile*
bricks sashy up in an old tomb, with NO treasure
Sashyra8 Member # 14488
posted
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: "No, he's trying to justify it by saying it will be right with God. You would be amazed at some of the most ridiculous things can be justified to fit religion here."
kicks out Ayisha into an open grave covering her entirely with the remains of a gigantic sand dune .*
FGD DFF Member # 19411
posted
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
posted ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
huh?
![[Cool]](cool.gif)