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> > Women's Thoughts on MEN ! > > > > > > One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his > sweatshirt.. > Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, > He shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the > washing machine?' > 'It depends,' I replied. > 'What does it say on your shirt?' > He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE !' > And they say > Blondes are dumb.... > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > A couple is lying > In bed. The man says, > 'I am going to make > You the happiest woman in the world...' > The woman replies, > 'I'll miss you....... > ---------------------------- > 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' > Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think > the > Neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' > 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. > ------------------------------------------- > Q: What do you > Call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? > A: A rumor > ------------------------------------------- > Dear Lord, > I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; > Love to forgive him; > And Patience for his moods. > Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, > I'll beat him to death. > AMEN > ------------------------------------------------------------------------- > ------------------------------------------------------ > > > Q: Why do little boys whine? > A: They are practicing to be > Men. > -------------------------------------------------- > Q: What do you > Call a handcuffed man? > A: Trustworthy.. > --------------------------------------------- > Q: What does it > mean when a man is in your bed gasping > for breath and calling your name? > A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. > ------------------------------------------ > Q: Why do men whistle when they > are sitting on the toilet? > A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.. > ------------------------------------------- > Q: How do you > Keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > A: Rename the > Email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
melissa87 Member # 17186
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hahaha thats brilliant
marydot Member # 15932
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Q: Why do men whistle when they > are sitting on the toilet? > A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
Best piss take ever ha ha!!!
young at heart Member # 10365
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Q: What should you do if you see your ex husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A: Shoot him again!
Cheekyferret Member # 15263
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Dear Lord, > I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; > Love to forgive him; > And Patience for his moods. > Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, > I'll beat him to death. > AMEN
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life! ------------
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you....
Chef Mick Member # 11209
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ohhhhhhhh snap..good one CF
young at heart Member # 10365
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It amazes me how these things go around the world so quickly
Cheekyferret Member # 15263
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I did steal it from FB...
metinoot Member # 17031
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As I've stated before men are good for screwing and running your errands!
I think I'll train to be a professional domme and open up a "professional shopper" service, just to get fucked every hour!
posted ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)