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they are as any men in the world are. Some are so very romantic then there are those that barely show affection at all even if they adore you in their hearts. Culture does play a part in it but i think more important is that you both accept that you were raised differently and are entitled to different points of view. Some times you just have to agree to disagree on things and let it go. Doesnt mean that you cant be together or have a completely fulfilling relationship and future together just means that you have to accept that each of you are different in your own ways and allow each other those differences.
quote:Originally posted by r.i.p.R: ,no romance there any way depsite he tells me he loves me...... ,hes a good man but we clashing even though we are both muslims the religious culture back drop comes into it again ,
This is what I worry about in considering my future with an Egyptian man. Do you ever get to a point where the two cultures totally gel?? I dont know - maybe if we both put a lot of work into the relationship. I would like to think you get to a point where every decision isnt a struggle between the two cultures.
Off on another tangent. I have Italian in my family where the men are very romantic. That's what I was bought up seeing. Just wondering if Egyptian men in general are very romantic? On the whole I invision them to be but are they really? [/QB]
There are lots of worries when it comes to falling inlove with an egyptian guy. spinning around in my head: What if we ever have children together and later on divorce. I would die if he took them to Egypt, what if he cant get a job here and will be unhappy, what if my family and friends cant accept him, what if we are met with racism in general, what if what if what if........ Maybe im thinking too much.
Posts: 1215 | From: Nowhere | Registered: Feb 2006
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Just concentrate on your love for eachother. Forget what others think of him it matters only how you feel about each other period. It may take some time for him to get a job but he will. And if your home country is anything like mine, both parents must sign a paper in front of a court official or have a notary sign the paper to even obtain a passport for the child and also must have a written paper from the parent not traveling giving permission to take the child out of the country.Honey, dont worry. If you are living in your home country and divorce he will have to fight you in court for the children and will not be able to take them out of the country. But you are just starting your relation. While it is realistic to think of such things with good reason relax, look at him, listen to your heart, Can you trust him? Does he love you? Do you really really love him?
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Maybe im thinking too much. no I think you're very wiser, and you're right to ask yourself such kind of question
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Tibe: There are lots of worries when it comes to falling inlove with an egyptian guy. spinning around in my head: What if we ever have children together and later on divorce. I would die if he took them to Egypt, what if he cant get a job here and will be unhappy, what if my family and friends cant accept him, what if we are met with racism in general, what if what if what if........ Maybe im thinking too much. [/QB]
Tibe I am sooooo glad i am not the only one that is obsessing about trying to figure out the answers to the 'what if' questions. If its helps any Tibe your exact thoughts are running through my mind a thousand times a minute aswel!
Being faced with the decision of maybe marrying this man in the future has bought up so many concerns and I do wonder if I am over anaylyzing everything instead of letting it be. I also worry about our children and what happens if he feels in his mind they belong to him which is what he would have been bought up to think and decides to up and take them back to Egypt one day? I would be devastated as my children will be my world. For some odd reason I worry about sillyness - like for instance - all of a sudden I have this realization that I have so much to learn about his culture. If Im going to be fair and meet him half way on certain issues - I begin to panic that I dont know enough about the religion and culture to do this and what happens if I get into the marriage and then find out that Im not as equpped to deal with the cultural difference as much as I thought I would be?? I read of woman on ES that are happily married to Egyptian men but also they are so knowledeable about Egyptian customs and basicly Egyptian life in general. I have so much work to do to get to that point! I think I just worry to much about sillyness I guess. Funny thing is in my normal life I am so laid back I am almost horizontal but when it comes to thinking about him and our future I am the total opposite. Go figure! Posts: 87 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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Sweet Pea, the only thing you can do to get to know his culture, is come and live here in Egypt. If you're free to move i.e. don't have kids just do it. I lived and worked independently in Egypt for 4 years before marrying my husband. In that time, I knew as much as I needed to (and more).
Re children. It's easy for a man to snatch the kids unless you're monnitoring airports in your country. He takes them out for the day and they disappear. It happened to a woman here on Egyptsearch and the last I heard, around 5 years later, she still hadn't got them back.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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to much love clouds you r eyes and thoughts but when reality is there in front of you myour blindness is ressurected ,some are lucky some are not so fortunate..im indian italian back ground and its clashing plenty the way i think and do things ,being with sumone 2 weels or 4weeks of a year is not like actually permantly living together after 4mnths u do see a difference in they way you are ,and what they actually think of you i,e divorced or have a child out of wedlock ,had i said sumr very very lucky to not to have problem but they can appear
good luck with all of you /w/s/chimps
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
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hi Snoozin..no Liney is not Kaz, but the storylines are similar,Kaz you should read the thread Snoozin put up as an example..just go back to her posting from the 13th july..I think!! However lots of things have happened in my life since last communicating on the forum.I think i will have to open another thread. Take care Kaz.
Posts: 67 | From: leeds | Registered: Dec 2005
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if its meant to be it will happen .. it could take years ...
some love affairs are just that .. meant to make you grow as an person ... nothing more nothing less ..
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
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Well the story continues and only gets more hurtful.. so still the questions stands how do you walk away from the one you love more than life.... I went, things were wonderful and on that very last day he finally said the words i love you in person. Sure enough he had said on the phone and on net but never in person. I was elated and devastated at the time. Elated cause he said it, devastated cause i was leaving. Things have been wonderful since.. hard being home but wonderful between us.. so i thought. Understand this, he is not an emotional man, never has been, doesnt tell his feelings often. So months ago we agreed that since i am the romantic emotional type that i would tell him that i love him whenever i wish and that i would not expect him to say it back. So here is the horrible part I sent a sms saying do you know how much i love and adore you? of course i told him that i love him more than the world, the universe and for eternity..... He responded in our usual playful manner Then yesterday sent a very long message stating it seemed he needed to make things clear again, in response to my sms that he does not indeed love me but likes me, and that when he had said he loved me in cairo it was meant in the like sense. (i am not sure i believe this cause when he told me he loved me his voice was shaking as if he were trying to keep from crying). I of course lost it,,, told him that i dont need a friend that i deserve to be loved. Asked him if that meant i was just another friend to him?? He said he never said we were just friends, his feelings for me were of companionship..whatever that means.. He said it is possible for 2 people to be more than friends without being madly in love as i see it. Also that if i could not accept that to break up with him and move on. I told him that i could do neither one. I love him too much to leave him, but cant accept not being loved either. He said well too bad then , you are stuck with me for life. He refuses to end things, doesnt want to end things. Knows i cant walk away, i have loved him for too long and too deeply. But how can i go back there and be happy??? How can i be happy at all... Says he just doesnt love me in the same way i love him or same manner,,, Companionship what the hell is that.... and another thing,, since we had agreed that i would say what i feel and not expect it to be said in return.. what was the purpose of telling me what he did other than to hurt me?? Why couldnt he just let me be happy if he intended to stay with me? instead of making me feel so unwanted. Its like im nothing more than a favorite piece of furniture or something. He wants me to be with him, to be his, but doesnt want to love me in the "love" i see as love. How messed up is this... I told him that companionship belongs in arranged marriages... I have half a mind to tell him, fine you want things this way, marry me. We will live apart just as we are, we will stay with this agreement we have,, but that i want the complete commitment from him in return. He has vowed faithfulness,and not to leave me so why not?? Instead of going there and living together in sin for a month at a time why not just agree to be there for eachother in that way and get married so that it isnt against gods wishes.....
quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: This feeling is horrible, here i am to leave to come back to him day after tomorrow, thursday and there is not a part of me that is excited or happy,,,, yes i am glad to be seeing him again but i feel no happiness because of the circumstances surrounding. Here it is July 4th, i just finished my 4th double shift of work in a row, last one for a month.... and i am sitting home alone....on a day that should be spent with loved ones celebrating, just being together. My ex husband invited me to come watch fireworks with him and the kids but my heart wasnt in it so i decided to come home instead of going there and wash dishes, clothes, pick up the living room , do all the things necessary to prepare for that trip, that has the feeling of being the end of the most important relation i have ever had in my entire life. I know i know, i am feeling sorry for myself. I keep searching for solutions for a way to stay with him but... I want him here with me and that is never going to happen. I am tired of holidays with out the special one by my side, i am tired of days spent wishing he was there... Im only venting people... my best friend in florida, god bless her, she hears this every night. The other night she refused to hang up cause i was so depressed she was afraid i would do something to myself. Gotta love her.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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another reason i am not completely convinced he meant what he said yesterday or rather that i am completely confused by it is that after i left egypt i was in frankfurt airport waiting on a bus to the hotel i would spend the night at when a lady and her husband approached me and explained that they were on the same flight as me and had seen me with him. Said that while he kept telling me go go go when it was time to go through security that after i turned and went the expression on his face was pure hurt and that he looked as though his heart broke and he had just lost the best thing in his life. I was not looking at him so it wasnt a show, he had no way of knowing i would find this out.... It leaves me to wonder if all of these things he told me are not just a way for him to express his pain of being apart, or to try to convince himself that he doesnt love me as much as he does... My mind didnt come up with this but my best friend did, i asked her the same questions and said if he doesnt love me why did he act this way in the airport and why did he tell me in person in that shaky almost crying voice..... this was her reasoning, that he is hurting from being separated from me, knowing it will be a full 6 months before i return and that this is his way of dealing with the pain, to try to convince himself that he doesnt love me as much and doesnt need me in any way... i dont know,, it still makes no sense that he had that reaction to me leaving but now claims only feeling companionship not love
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Also this happens every time i return from egypt almost exactly a month after i return. He pushes away in the same manner every time, with the exception of one time. It has been a few days over a month since my return and its happened again.. what is the logic in this?
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Mysticheart, I feel for you, I really do. This is a terrible situation. I have to ask though, how long you carry on like this?
Posts: 836 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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i know you dont know me sweetheart... but know that you are in my heart and prayers. Trust your heart, mind, and always always seek G-d. Listen closely let Him heal your pain... because you know he will. I have to ask, because it always helps me in this kind of thing... do you know the serenity prayer? "G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. " Above all... you know that He has the answers, that none of us do. He knows your heart, he hears your prayer... and He knows your beloved as well... and the deepest part of his heart. G-d knows best , so just listen.
Much love, and know you will be in my prayers as well. ~AKT
Posts: 120 | Registered: Sep 2006
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I put on Craig David's song "i am walking away" and just go
-------------------- HandsUpHandsDown is that american woman who used to be known as "ana huna" in ES! Strange but true. Posts: 1123 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by faithalwaysn4ever: i know you dont know me sweetheart... but know that you are in my heart and prayers. Trust your heart, mind, and always always seek G-d. Listen closely let Him heal your pain... because you know he will. I have to ask, because it always helps me in this kind of thing... do you know the serenity prayer? "G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. " Above all... you know that He has the answers, that none of us do. He knows your heart, he hears your prayer... and He knows your beloved as well... and the deepest part of his heart. G-d knows best , so just listen.
Much love, and know you will be in my prayers as well. ~AKT
Thank you, and yes you are right and i pray so many times in a day seeking answers. I dont know if it is my mind saying this to me or if it is what god intends me to hear but so far all i get is be patient in this stay with him. He and i have broken up or walked away from eachother 3 times in our 4 year relation, every time we came back to eachother in one way or another and never completely let go of each other. No matter where our lives take us it seems it always brings us back together and this time has been the longest, we have been exclusive to eachother for one year and 8 months. I do pray it just seems that i am having trouble understanding what direction i am to take. Is his pushing me away a sign i should leave? or is it a test to see if i will stay through all the hard things. Is the fact that my ex fiance has been contacting me constantly in the last year and 8 months begging me to come marry a sign that i am with the wrong man or is he simply a temptation to see if i will remain faithful....... There are many signs i just dont know which path i am supposed to be on.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by biker_babe: Mysticheart, I feel for you, I really do. This is a terrible situation. I have to ask though, how long you carry on like this?
Our relation has been 4 years now. The first 8 months were planning to get married then we were a year apart and i was engaged to another man there as well as he was seeing another woman. Then we turned back to eachother, always were friends through it but became closer friends and then decided we needed to be together. We stayed friends without committment for about 8 months then made it exclusive to only each other, though in that time he did not see anyone else, i was dating so to speak,, meaning spending time with someone here but not intimate more than kisses. During our time as only friends i came to see him for a month and then upon my return he pushed me away, we didnt speak for more than a month, i agreed to marry my ex fiance, and then he came back into my life just days after i decided that i would marry and said he loved me. I broke the engagement immediately and we have been exclusive ever since. How much longer can i continue this way??? i dont know.. When he told me he loved me, i could have done it forever,, but now that he says it isnt love as i see it, but a companionship thing, i just dont know. All i know is that with all he said to me i should have been able to walk away and not look back. But i cant. He told me that i could and he would have no hard feelings and would understand, but i cant. Life with him is hard, but life without him is even harder. But now knowing he doesnt love me in that way, it makes me feel so unwanted and i think of our intimate times... intimacy is tied to love for me and how am i supposed to enjoy time with him when in my head is he doesnt love you. I was in a 13 year marriage and walked away without looking back, but leave this man?? seems impossible cause no matter who i am with, i wish it were him. I did by the way tell him i think we should marry today, giving him all the logical reasons none of which were emotionally based and he of course said he would rather die than to ever marry anyone, not just me but anyone. Hates marriage that it isnt personal against me. I didnt sleep lastnight, havent eaten today, and at this point i really dont care much about anything. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, all of this came late in the afternoon but my day yesterday started off to me being woken up by the phone, school calling saying my 16 yr old son needed to go to hospital cause he got hurt in phys ed class. Took him , nose is broken, went to specialist, has to have surgery tuesday to fix nose, also will be having surgery on his knee soon , then came all this. Its been a really long time since i was on the edge but im there now. I am completely lost and confused and have no clue where to go from here.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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Mysti, I'm very sorry that this is happening to you. It brougth tears to my eyes just to imagine how are you feeling. I'm thinking of you. 17 yrs ago I had a very bad case of broken heart, repeatelly, on and off for 4 years until I had to opt for(to?) myself.I moved to US to restart my life, I'm here, live and happy! Nobody needs somebody to make then feel miserable or in doubt all the time, the name of this for me is Torture( with captal T). Don't loose yourself and try to love yourself first, you deserve it. I wish you the best.
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: i've accepted that i am not someone that can be loved.
Mysticheart, you are so,so wrong about that. Don't think it and don't say it. You seem like a good person with a whole lot of ambivalence going in her relationship, and I am sorry about that. But, honestly, do not say you are not someone who cannot be loved- you are more than worthy of it and a man who can't see it is just dumb or blind. Take care of yourself!!!
Posts: 820 | Registered: Mar 2006
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From what I can gather, you are a fantastic person with an awful lot of love to give to someone. I think you need to realise that you are worth sooooo much more than you are being given by this man. Whatever his reasons are for treating you in this way does not make it right.
You really need to sit up and think of just yourself, and show him that you don't need him, you don't need anyone but you.
Be strong! Easier said than done I know, but if you carry on this way, you are going to hit the Self Destruct button, so stop it before it happens.
Just remember, the only person you need is you Posts: 836 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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I feel for how you feel i met my egyptain b/f for the first time this yr even ho we had met online and hahd declared love for each other before then and coming back home was the most heartbreakin thing i have ever had to do i cried all the way home and for nights after cried my self to sleep its so hard leaving a lvoed one behind and i dread the time i have to do it again in novmeber
Posts: 477 | From: lancashire england | Registered: Aug 2006
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trababe it is very hard, ive done it over and over and it is harder each time. I told him the day after that if he wanted to stay with me and for me to be happy he should have never said that, fine ok he doesnt love me the way i love him, or maybe not at all but what was it hurting to keep his mouth shut about it if we are staying in the relationship. I never asked him how much he loves me or if he loves me all i ever did is say i love you to him, or i adore him... things like that, i never asked for anything in return. So no it wasn't right for him to say it. Life has been hell since he did. And i cant pretend not to need him, i do. Not to survive no but my happiness lies in love,,,,, my love and heart are his. He took so much away from me with those words and he is starting to notice that. He asked me today how work was, told him it was slow but it was good thing cause i am not in the mood to deal with ... he says seems you are not in the mood for anything, i said no not really.... havent slept in days now, or eaten for that matter, cant even think of it. Where to go from here i have no idea but the only thing i do know is i cant leave him. Time to just accept that i am not loved and continue with him i guess.
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mystic - you deserve better, you deserve to be happy, and you deserve a life for yourself, where you value and respect yourself.
Putting yourself down and thinking that you should just carry on with this one-sided relationship is a sure way to ensure that your future is unhappy. If you don't value your own feelings, why on earth should anyone else? Sounds harsh advice, I know, but surely a bit of heartbreak, walking away now, will save you from a future of doom?
Relationships - the good, lasting ones - are built on equality: in feelings, love, respect, understanding etc. Much as he may say he loves you as a companion, you're kidding yourself if you think you can wait and maybe change his mind in the future and something can grow out of it. He'll see you as needy, and that's not an attractive quality...
Do yourself a big favour, take deep deep breath, and ask if you can hack feeling like this every single day and night for the rest of your life. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve - you only get one chance at this life, and imagine looking back when you're 80 years old, and alone, just because you're still pining after this relationship you could never have on equal terms.
Posts: 463 | From: Other side of nowhere | Registered: Jun 2006
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I am in love with an Egyptian man too. I do not want him to come to the USA as i feel it would be too hard on him and such a culture shock. On my visits to Egypt, not only have I fallen in love with this man, but also with the country and the people. I am seriously relocating to Luxor with my teenage son, who is all for this, and making a life with this man. But there's more to it than just him. I have had a dream of starting a small business geared toward the tourist because I love people and I love meeting people of different cultures. In Luxor, I truely believe that I can start this business and make it very successful. I even feel that I have much to offer the community and would happily and whole heartedly give of my time to the community in whatever ways I can. I truely feel as if I am being divinely guided and that I have been truely guided to my destiny. Most people feel I am crazy for wanting to leave the states to move to Egypt, but I really feel this is right. Any opinions out there?
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by AndreaGep: I am in love with an Egyptian man too. I do not want him to come to the USA as i feel it would be too hard on him and such a culture shock. On my visits to Egypt, not only have I fallen in love with this man, but also with the country and the people. I am seriously relocating to Luxor with my teenage son, who is all for this, and making a life with this man. But there's more to it than just him. I have had a dream of starting a small business geared toward the tourist because I love people and I love meeting people of different cultures. In Luxor, I truely believe that I can start this business and make it very successful. I even feel that I have much to offer the community and would happily and whole heartedly give of my time to the community in whatever ways I can. I truely feel as if I am being divinely guided and that I have been truely guided to my destiny. Most people feel I am crazy for wanting to leave the states to move to Egypt, but I really feel this is right. Any opinions out there?
Andrea have you spoken in depth with your son about this? How about your son's father, your family, friends, collegues?
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by r.i.p.R: ,no romance there any way depsite he tells me he loves me...... ,hes a good man but we clashing even though we are both muslims the religious culture back drop comes into it again ,
This is what I worry about in considering my future with an Egyptian man. Do you ever get to a point where the two cultures totally gel?? I dont know - maybe if we both put a lot of work into the relationship. I would like to think you get to a point where every decision isnt a struggle between the two cultures.
Off on another tangent. I have Italian in my family where the men are very romantic. That's what I was bought up seeing. Just wondering if Egyptian men in general are very romantic? On the whole I invision them to be but are they really?
There are lots of worries when it comes to falling inlove with an egyptian guy. spinning around in my head: What if we ever have children together and later on divorce. I would die if he took them to Egypt, what if he cant get a job here and will be unhappy, what if my family and friends cant accept him, what if we are met with racism in general, what if what if what if........ Maybe im thinking too much. [/QB]
ohhhhhhhh i forgot i was called RIPR I FEEL LIKE IVE LIED TO SUMONE OHHHH SO BAD RIPR WAS MEANING REST IN PEACE RETURNED ,CAUSE THEY KILLED CHIMPS ,but i stil stand by that claim me and my husband have clashed on numeorus occasion cus of a culture differece and even the muslim side is different u cud say islamicaly has well ,but hes picking up a few things like me is picking arabic up but his is slang
but im trying really to make a go of things ,even with all the personal issues in the way ....sharon stone forgive me i for got of this name ..
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
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I have spoken to my son in depth about this. He knows how different things will be for us in Egypt. I speak to him each day about this and say to him, "do you realize what a life change this will be; do you realize we are stepping back in time; do you understand that this is a totally different lifestyle that we will be living in; etc, etc, etc.... My son is 16 years old and his father has never been a part of his life. When my son was a baby his father started using drugs and drinking very heavily. It was at this time I took my son and left his father. I had no money and no job at the time, but the will and desire to rise about the situation led me to a decent career and the furthering of my education. My son's father has never tried to make contact and that is for the best. He does not have any legal paternity over my son and my son also has no interest in persuing a relationship with his father. My mother and father are all for me following my dreams, especially since I have been a single mom for the last 16 years struggling to survive. However the thought of me moving half-way around the world to follow this dream is not very appealing to them; they feel we might not be safe in Egypt. I tell them that we will be more safe in Egypt than here in America. Most of my friends believe that America is the best place to be (I totally disagree), but they also wish for me to fulfill my dreams; with that said, they think I am crazy for wanting to come to Egypt. My more "open-minded" friends think that this is what I have been looking for all my life and truly believe in me and what I am trying to accomplish. I believe in God and have faith that all of this will come to light, espcially with my strong will, my relationship with God and desire to make this dream a reality. I do not think that life in Egypt will be as hard as most people want me to believe. Any opinions?
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Sep 2006
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Andrea have you investigated the education options for your son. Unless he speaks Arabic there are few options outside Cairo and Cairo is expensive.
As a 16 year old boy in luxor I am afraid he is going to bored stiff
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Andrea why don't you wait a couple of years till your son has left school and can be independent? You'll also know by then if this relationship is real and long-lasting. If you start a business make sure it's in your name too.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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Very good points ~ all of them. I've been chewing on alot of ideas lately and have even considered the "online" high school. While I am traditionally educated and college educated, I did get one of my degrees online and I know you can even get a high-school education online too. More difficult i think, but it's worth a look into. But from all other research i've been doing, it looks like it just take me until my son's graduation to get there. However, as far as being bored, i think he would be to an extent, but I am also going to try and bring his girlfriend with us. She's 16 also and a very great girl. I'm not sure how that's going to work as i'm not sure her parents will agree. I know they're very young now, but they're talking marriage too and I wouldn't object to it after graduation. I really don't want to leave my son in America as we don't have much family and after I leave, there's really no one else for him here. Plus, he really wants to come to Egypt with his mom and build this business with me. I'm still chewing on a bunch of stuff. Any and all comments are greatly appreicated.
One last thought... it was mentioned that there is no international school in Luxor, but that maybe I could start one. This seems like it would be a very difficult process and information that I've gathered from american consulting firms that specialize in this stuff have seemed to overwelm me with information to substantiate this thought. Would this be as difficult to do as I think it would be?
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Sep 2006
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unless you're a byproduct of a mix of cultures yourself, have lived in a different country than your nationality for a year or two, and are well travelled... then i'd say that it's quite a hard and difficult task of moving from the States to Egypt as a single person.
Add to that move and cultural readjustment: 1/ luxor, a small gossipy town and almost completely dependent on tourism
2/ start of a multi-cultural relationship (and i say "start" because that's exactly what it will be when you both live in the same town and you start learning it's a whole different ballgame when you live there than as frequent visitor)
3/ your 16 year old son
4/ starting an international school with no prior direct experience (???!!! are you serious???)
and well... it reads unrealistic. You need to talk to your partner and have him give you a hard reality check. It would be hard enough to make the move on your own. Add 1, 2, 3 ... (forget 4 until you've been in Luxor for a few years and have settled down)... and boy oh boy oh boy...we'll have another Tootie here in 6 months whining about all the horrors of Egypt.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by liney: hi Snoozin..no Liney is not Kaz, but the storylines are similar,Kaz you should read the thread Snoozin put up as an example..just go back to her posting from the 13th july..I think!! However lots of things have happened in my life since last communicating on the forum.I think i will have to open another thread. Take care Kaz. [/QUOTE
u been missing in actions for 4 months from last posting---
how r things going for u now?
Posts: 2068 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Kaz: Hi All, this is my first posting. I have been reading the postings for a while now and finally joined. This is such a sad story and I can so relate to it.How can you walk away from the one person you love the most.... I met a very nice egyptian man 1 year ago whilst on holiday with my daughter. There was this very special sparkel between us but we never took it any further whilst I was there. We stayed in touch and became good friends. He was in my heart but I never mentioned it because I am 10 years older and did not want to make a fool of myself.In April this year we returned and we met again, every day,and I learned that he feels the same way. He has in the meantime been married to his cousin, family wishes, so he says....???? He says he doesn't love her and wants to be with me. We are very close and chat and phone all the time. I do believe that he loves me, he never has let me down ( apart from his bad egyptian timekeeping!)he is sweet and honest to me ( he did not have to tall me that he had married). I am returning to see him in September and I do know that I am heading for disaster!I miss him terrible, he misses me, but I do know that we will never be together forever....he will not get a visa to come to England, plus his family would never forgive him for leaving his wife and I don't want to live in Egypt as wife number 2. I have a good job here, we would struggle in Egypt for money. He keeps telling me to come and live in Egypt but I feel that I am too old to make a fool of myself. I have heard so many bad things about egyptian men and older women...it scares me to death!!He has never asked me for anything, which I surpose is good. I love him so much, we just are so good together, when I am with him I feel "alive" but I know if I would use my head a bit more than my heart I would be wiser and walk away. Then I think to myself" why should I not be happy?" If it only lasts for a few years than I have been happy for a few years. There is no guarantee in any relationship. Egyptian man or English....How do you walk away?? I have been so unhappy since I have come back from Egypt and as happy as I am to teturn i am allready upset because I will say good bye again. What do others think about me staying in Egypt? He does not live close to his family and does not see them more than every 2 month.Is there any chance for a happy ending or am I just a stupid love sick woman????
Kaz........ He is a married man- he has a wife--doesn't matter if he doesn't love her- HE IS MARRIED.. If he is cheating on his wife to be with you- Imagine what he will do to you if u were to ever marry him..
Posts: 2068 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by AndreaGep: Very good points ~ all of them. I've been chewing on alot of ideas lately and have even considered the "online" high school. While I am traditionally educated and college educated, I did get one of my degrees online and I know you can even get a high-school education online too. More difficult i think, but it's worth a look into. But from all other research i've been doing, it looks like it just take me until my son's graduation to get there. However, as far as being bored, i think he would be to an extent, but I am also going to try and bring his girlfriend with us. She's 16 also and a very great girl. I'm not sure how that's going to work as i'm not sure her parents will agree. I know they're very young now, but they're talking marriage too and I wouldn't object to it after graduation. I really don't want to leave my son in America as we don't have much family and after I leave, there's really no one else for him here. Plus, he really wants to come to Egypt with his mom and build this business with me. I'm still chewing on a bunch of stuff. Any and all comments are greatly appreicated.
One last thought... it was mentioned that there is no international school in Luxor, but that maybe I could start one. This seems like it would be a very difficult process and information that I've gathered from american consulting firms that specialize in this stuff have seemed to overwelm me with information to substantiate this thought. Would this be as difficult to do as I think it would be?
Bring his girl friend with you, you have to be kidding.Have you any idea how that would be looked upon her. You might as well just brand her hooker/slut/tart and leave it at that. You will not be living a tourist life. You can not do things like that. It would bring shame and dishonour on you, the girl, your son and most of all your Egyptian family. DO NOT DO THIS
Please forget this idea of coming here, you will hate it. That you even thought it would be ok to have a cohabiting young couple in your home shows you have no clue about life in Egypt. Who exactly do you think your son and his girlfriend would be able to mis with. Because I am tell you there is no way any respectable local person would have anything to do with them for fear of being painted with the same brush. As ExpC said Luxor is a small gossipy town, within 3 hours max everyone would know the situation.
If you think you can do things like that you will hate all the other things that you can not do because they are not respectable. Reputation is God here. And it is not about you alone, anything any member of the family does reflects on the entire family.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: How do you walk away from the one person you love the most, the person you feel you were destined for. Circumstances are always in the way. What does one do when they come to realize that they can no longer make the trips to egypt 2 times a year for a month each time financially and her love refuses to set foot in the usa?? When she loves him so much that she can no longer stand being away from him for the extended periods of time. When she is getting ready to go and stay with him for a month in less than 2 weeks and is already crying cause she knows that once she is there the month will pass and she will be leaving him once again for months and months knowing that soon you will lose him anyway cause you cant afford to keep returning......cant move there many problems in that, he refuses to even visit. Says he will not support this government by buying anything here including food.... How do you walk away from the one person you love and want the most in the whole world( literally)
I hate to be the stormcrow, but chances are that even if you do manage to be together, eventually one of you will not tolerate the other (I'm assuming you're american), because of political differences, eventually you will start feeling offended by his contempt for your country and won't be able to stand it anymore, best thing to do is just walk away and endure your pain for a while, better than fighting for him now and regretting it later.
Posts: 67 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Umslopagas: I hate to be the stormcrow, but chances are that even if you do manage to be together, eventually one of you will not tolerate the other (I'm assuming you're american), because of political differences, eventually you will start feeling offended by his contempt for your country and won't be able to stand it anymore, best thing to do is just walk away and endure your pain for a while, better than fighting for him now and regretting it later.
Ha!
Somebody else admitted to it!
Oh my I can see my ship on the horizon!
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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Lol, i wont resent him for it. I know he hates american government and i myself do not care for it. Our political beliefs are the same, it is the one thing that we totally completely agree on. What this government is doing is wrong. Not a secret i dont support bush or his administration in anything.(or any of our politics for that matter)
posted
Considering your contempt for the US, and your stated belief that America is wrong... I can only encourage you immediately to move to Egypt. You will find a much more pleasant and palatable political environment there. You will be embraced by others who equally dislike the American way, who are naieve enough to believe that ALL the US does is get involved in International conflict. (No child left behind? Public Schools? Financial Aid? healthcare? Job training? Beuller? Beuller?? Trash US policies freely and can you finally feel at peace surrounded by others like you.
"The one thing my soul mate and I have in common is that we HAAATE the American way". I'd smack you so loud your Mom would hear it if you were closer.
Don't get me wrong, I love Egypt, and we have a house there in Giza, and a forklift of family to love. But America? Is HOME and this is the pillowy bosom that milkfed me, You don't agree with policy? Which one in particular? Mr. K may have strong views on US Forigen policy, but I would never degrade myself by bad mouthing America just to get his approval. In fact everytime we see the DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED President on television I am reassured that God is writing us a note and saying, "I love the US".
Fucking bullshit, you should know how lucky you are to be able to freely degrade the very systems and establishments that support your fat fucking ass as you sit there and wring your hands over "which maaaaan should I chooooose??"
Really, seriously... the Middle East NEEDS you. Your pithy little dance of self pity and attention seeking will play MARVELOUSLY there. Best of luck to you. Let us know how it works out. Postcards will do.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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And insofar as your "SOUL MATE" in Egypt, you say he resists America, and says he will never set foot on her ground, and never eat of her food. Are you so daft that you haven't sussed out that HE DOESN"T WANT YOU?! He has said it so many different ways and you continue to think, "Well.. it isn't me, it's him not being able to say the truth, it isn't me it s the US policy, it isn't me it's blah dee blah blah...
Dang, Im in DC and don't know either one of you and I can see that the dude is trying to shake you off. You won't accept it when HE SAYS IT STRAIGHT TO YOU, so he has to build a huge case about why he won't come. Yet you...? You Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms think "he just doesn't know what he wants as much as I know what he wants".
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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AS i said think as you want. His brother resides here in the states and he wont come to see him either. He has had this stance since before we got back together 2 years ago. HE came to me wanting this relation 2 years ago,( more than friends).If he wanted to shake me believe me he would simply say sorry this isnt working.
As for this administration, well sorry but i do not agree with the wars they start or the ones they have supported lately and further more if it were not for me not being able to take my children with me i would be out of the states very very fast. I was against Bush before i even met my lover so it is not his influence at all. And any time i see that man on tv i want to vomit. This isnt about what man should i choose, i have chosen, i chose 2 years ago, its about did i choose the right one, should i stay with him.. and i know how to find out now. And he himself said he does not want our relationship to end ....ever. But i will never ever support the killing of innocent women and children by the hundreds and thousands by a nation that claims to protect and do what is best. Whatever, i was angry enough over iraq, and the lebanon just ensured that even more. Yeah support that place that bombs with planes the buildings of civilians that houses almost all women and children and say oh it was a terrible thing but.... no thank you , no excuse for it.
quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: Considering your contempt for the US, and your stated belief that America is wrong... I can only encourage you immediately to move to Egypt. You will find a much more pleasant and palatable political environment there. You will be embraced by others who equally dislike the American way, who are naieve enough to believe that ALL the US does is get involved in International conflict. (No child left behind? Public Schools? Financial Aid? healthcare? Job training? Beuller? Beuller?? Trash US policies freely and can you finally feel at peace surrounded by others like you.
"The one thing my soul mate and I have in common is that we HAAATE the American way". I'd smack you so loud your Mom would hear it if you were closer.
Don't get me wrong, I love Egypt, and we have a house there in Giza, and a forklift of family to love. But America? Is HOME and this is the pillowy bosom that milkfed me, You don't agree with policy? Which one in particular? Mr. K may have strong views on US Forigen policy, but I would never degrade myself by bad mouthing America just to get his approval. In fact everytime we see the DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED President on television I am reassured that God is writing us a note and saying, "I love the US".
Fucking bullshit, you should know how lucky you are to be able to freely degrade the very systems and establishments that support your fat fucking ass as you sit there and wring your hands over "which maaaaan should I chooooose??"
Really, seriously... the Middle East NEEDS you. Your pithy little dance of self pity and attention seeking will play MARVELOUSLY there. Best of luck to you. Let us know how it works out. Postcards will do.
You sweet little thing. Most people who don't agree with the government who ARE americans do it because we realize how wonderful america is and that it CAN be better. it is out of our wish to have an improved america that we might speak out and verbalize how we feel. Someone once said that it is truly more patriotic to speak out against the government than to keep quiet. Someone lied to you and told you that everything your government does is 100% right, and if they didn't, then they lied and told you that keeping quiet is the best way. our country did not become what it is today by people hushing everyone up and putting a smile over the government, no government is without error, and if you don't admit it, nothing will ever change or progress. peace.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Wrong, I am all about the Democratic process and the Constitutional protections of the right to Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion, Right to Assemble, etc etc.... I am all for saying what you think, and being allowed to do so without persecution. That does not protect you from being called a dumbass.
What disgusts me is women who insult the Government that protects them in order to curry favor with a man. "He hates America, and I live here but I hate it toooo, maybe now he will loooove me"
Was she making suggestions on what to improve? Perhaps I misunderstood her philanthropic intentions... I work for the Federal Governemnt and everyday we work to make the lives of Americans better and to improve the conditions socially and politically around the world. One note complainers need to take a longer look at the works the US Government does. Good lord we fund half the free world, police the messes, and set aside more private funds to improve Nations in Africa than even Africa does. Want to guess how many MILLIONS of US Federal tax dollars go directly to Egypt? No, our government isn't perfect or always right, but we are at least doing SOMETHING, and it is always easier to criticize than hold up your head. I am PROUD of this country, and proud to understand and contribute inside the beltway. I am lucky to be educated and able to make a good life for myself. I appreciate that I live in a country where the good life is availiable to everybody, all it takes is hard work. But the International fetish for demonizing the US over the Iraq conflict seems pretty contrary to the fact that the rest of the world has their hands in our pockets eh?
What progress is she making for US Policy and education about it? Zed. I'm guessing she couldn't even explain the concept of the Congressional and Senate as far as the process of passing laws. Snark on me all you want, but at least I don't assume to understand something as massive as US Policy as a way to make a boy like me.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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I am not against what our government does to gain his favor. I am against it because of starting a war without any real basis, i am against it because they refused to demand a cease fire therefore allowing hundreds of women and children to be slaughtered over 2 soldiers... These are the reasons and i have always disagreed with Bush from the start of his presidency.
posted
YAWN. Please forward your study on the illegitimacy of the conflict in Iraq to 1700 Pennsylvania Ave. At the start of his Presidency, there was no other choice, as it had been scant months since the elections before "someone" decided to bust up the WTC in New York, as well as the 19 hijackers, a confirmed 2,973 people died and another 24 are missing but presumed killed as a result of these attacks. Call me crazy, but three thousand is a LOT of people dead. Who slaughtered the women and children? Americans? no. Do you really think the axis on which the conflict will turn to a peaceful one is a "demand for cease fire"? From us? really? Israel and Palestine were just "waiting" for us to tell them what to do? You can't be serious. Additionally that 'slaughter" which the US did not participate in, wasn't at the start of the problems in the middle east, that particular conflict has been brewing since 1920, courtesy of the Brits.
Yes yes... America is evil. America has hidden agendas, and of course America is out to KILL WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
I will see your "hundreds of women and children" and raise you "the insurgents who hide in Mosque and Hospitals" because America has a policy to leave these places undisturbed during conflict. Hiding behind women and children and using them as "evidence" of the US evil imperitive is laughable.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Iraq was not the one that bombed the trade centers. The lebanon people did nothing. The usa was the only one vetoing the immediate cease fire in lebanon. Oh but how dare usa upset israel and not give it its time to destroy as many peoples lives as possible. Planes that drop bombs versus small rocket launchers hmmmmmm. Guided missles verses just plane missles..... doesnt quite even out does it. The only reason bush went into iraq... oil... Bush had no business starting that war. Iraq was not capable of being a threat to anyone. Sure Hussein is a horrible creature that did horrible things to his country but that is not for us to stick our noses into, that is for the people of that region to stand against. Bush wants to turn the whole world into the usa, no one stops to consider that the whole world doesnt want a nation such as the usa that basically lives without morals or religion.
And you know what, Americans kill more americans than any arab ever thought about killing americans. Every day hundreds of americans are killed by.... other AMERICANS!!!!!!! Cant even walk down the street in most places anymore without the thought of being shot by a drive by or someone just pissed off or oh, they want your shoes. And forget letting your children play outside without you being right there with them for fear that they will be kidnapped and raped and killed cause if you are not right there, there is some person just waiting. And dont dare let your child walk around the block alone, even at age 14 15, 16 17...... cause there is a high chance they wont return. Yep some insurgents hide in the mosques and hospitals and such, but if we are so high and mighty to know all then we should know exactly where they are , who they are and go in on ground and get exactly only those people instead of bombing the general building and anyone in it or around it. Amazing that we can know exactly what they are doing over there and where they are but not be able to take out just those responsible for the wrong, no we have to kill hundreds around them too.
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