quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: I am in love with an Egyptian man that I have known for many years. He is unhappy in his marriage (very unhappy)and says he wants to leave and marry me but that if he does his grown up children will never speak to him again and that everyone he knows (all friends and family) will hate him because he leaves wife of many years and will think is a very bad man. Is this true or is he telling me a big story???
quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: if he gets divorced it will shame his extended family and some of the young people (like his youngest daughter who is 31 -- she has waited to find a husband until she just finished her PhD) will have trouble getting marriaged. Is this true? he also says all his cousins will hate him.
quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: I am still legally married yes, although I don't have sexual relations since my marriage is not recognized in Islam and to have sexual relations would be zinna and therefore haram.
So you are legally married Muslim woman who believes that she is NOT legally married Muslim woman?
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: I wish everyone would stop saying the first wife has to agree.
The 1st wife has to agree. Men who does otherwise are probably using religion to justify their sex affair with foreign woman. A man must make sure that all his "wives" are happy, not just one.
Men is not encouraged to marry more than 1 wife, because he often can't make them all happy.
I am Muslim who is not supporting poligamy, most Muslims have 1 wife, and I also think that some men abuse Islam to satisfy their personal needs.
I also think that up to 4 wives could of mean, not specifically to all 4 at once.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: What he always has been doing, he will also do to you...
Not necessarily. That's what I thought in the past, but it's not true. Are you the same towards all people? No you are not. Thus a man will and can be different too towards each person - 100%
It's all about what these 2 people have together.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: I think I was not quite clear about a couple of things. I am living with my legal husband in what can best be said to be a "brother/sister" or "good friend" relationship. By reverting to Islam, my legal marriage is not Islamicly acceptable as a Muslim woman cannot be married to a non-Muslim.
After you converted to Islam, you still kept your husband.
Now if he was your sin before conversion, what makes you think he is not sin after conversion?
Don's use Islam to excuse yourself lady. You haven't got divorced in the 1st place.
I am not even saying you should.
But if you converted, everything before is "erased", but not everything after.
Do you understand what you are asking? Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote: He doesn't even really want you, otherwise he would ask you to be a 2nd wife or divorce his own wife.
I think he does love her.Nobody knows what's in his heart. He knows and he says he loves HER. He just made wrong choice 40 years ago and is stuck with it. He is not selfish because if he was selfish he would leave his children long time ago and marry the other one.
The fact he did not means he sacrifized his own happiness for children ( not for the 1st wife ).
I believe he doesn't consider his 1st wife his true love, so he always yearns for other one ( the lady who asked for advice, whom he consideres his true love. )
However, he loves children. Thus he will put them above of anyone, even himself.
Many people can't simply leave their children.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: Tigerlilly,you are very kind and compassionate. What you say makes a lot of sense -- this is just so heartbreaking. May Allah continue to bless you.
What a false impression.
That's what I thought when she wrote to me in the past, but I learned otherwise. She hates Egyptian men and she is simply trying to talk you out of having a true love next to you ( because she had bad experience with her Egyptian man who I believe dumped her ).
She also doesn't like to see people happy. So don't be so sure, and certainly don't exchange any private messages because she may used it against you some other time when you disagree with her. Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: if u missed yr chance 40 yrs ago obviously he did not love u enough to fight for yr love then so y would it be worth it now after 40 dang yrs girl find someone thats yrs!!!
Not necessarily.
He could of been too young to make good choice of his future wife, or he could of been pressured or under lots of false impressions so he ended up making bad choice.
Man's love is proven only after we determine he knows all facts 100%, but often a man who makes wrong choice did NOT know all facts, or something interferead in his decision. He knows he made a mistake ( thus he is in touch with her for years ), now they have to figure out what else they can do ( morally acceptable ) to make it happen
If anything.
Or just to accept it as failure and never end up with love of your life and beat yourself up forever for being such unlucky person from the beginning.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Rumicrazieluv: I watched my ex mother-in-law just get divorced after being married for 38 yrs. I have also watched her cry for hours over the wasted years with a rotten man who ruined my exhusband and the years of life that she missed out on because she stayed for the kids and out of fear. She now has a younger bf, got a facelift, is traveling. She never was even out of ny state till I took her,she never saw the ocean till last year when I took her, and She never even thought she would have sex again cause they hadnt had it since my ex-husband was 10(thank god she isnt reading this-sorry mom )Some might say she is acting crazy, but she missed out on alot of life and who can judge her for trying to recapture lost years.
Woe that was WAY WAY too much info for me. I do hope your ex mother-in-law doesn't stumble on this forum and read that. I don't know maybe she wouldn't mind. Maybe it's okay for you to put her business out in the street like that..geeze!
I'm just going to be a bit more careful what I write on the forum concerning my personal life, cause I now for sure that people are reading, taking notes and talking.
I can only imagine what is being written, copied and quoted from this forum and pasted on other forums, let alone at other gathering.
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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lovingmylife, I can't believe it but I agree with just about everything you have wrote. You are a voice of reason on this issue.
good posts
-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton) Leap and the Net will Appear. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands:
quote:Originally posted by Rumicrazieluv: I watched my ex mother-in-law just get divorced after being married for 38 yrs. I have also watched her cry for hours over the wasted years with a rotten man who ruined my exhusband and the years of life that she missed out on because she stayed for the kids and out of fear. She now has a younger bf, got a facelift, is traveling. She never was even out of ny state till I took her,she never saw the ocean till last year when I took her, and She never even thought she would have sex again cause they hadnt had it since my ex-husband was 10(thank god she isnt reading this-sorry mom )Some might say she is acting crazy, but she missed out on alot of life and who can judge her for trying to recapture lost years.
Woe that was WAY WAY too much info for me. I do hope your ex mother-in-law doesn't stumble on this forum and read that. I don't know maybe she wouldn't mind. Maybe it's okay for you to put her business out in the street like that..geeze!
I'm just going to be a bit more careful what I write on the forum concerning my personal life, cause I now for sure that people are reading, taking notes and talking.
I can only imagine what is being written, copied and quoted from this forum and pasted on other forums, let alone at other gathering.
You have to be! Especially because IMO you`re quite recognisable. There seem to be a number of readers/members that are crossposting topics, and are talking about it. That hasn`t necesarrely to be wrong, but because there are contacts by Messenger-services also, it looks like a kind of private gossip-room to me.It has been that bad that last Christmas private intimate pictures have been placed on this board, as an act of revenge. Thanks to the Messenger contacts and the wars between members. I really should advice you to stay superficial and avoid to mention personal details.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands:
quote:Originally posted by Rumicrazieluv: I watched my ex mother-in-law just get divorced after being married for 38 yrs. I have also watched her cry for hours over the wasted years with a rotten man who ruined my exhusband and the years of life that she missed out on because she stayed for the kids and out of fear. She now has a younger bf, got a facelift, is traveling. She never was even out of ny state till I took her,she never saw the ocean till last year when I took her, and She never even thought she would have sex again cause they hadnt had it since my ex-husband was 10(thank god she isnt reading this-sorry mom )Some might say she is acting crazy, but she missed out on alot of life and who can judge her for trying to recapture lost years.
Woe that was WAY WAY too much info for me. I do hope your ex mother-in-law doesn't stumble on this forum and read that. I don't know maybe she wouldn't mind. Maybe it's okay for you to put her business out in the street like that..geeze!
I'm just going to be a bit more careful what I write on the forum concerning my personal life, cause I now for sure that people are reading, taking notes and talking.
I can only imagine what is being written, copied and quoted from this forum and pasted on other forums, let alone at other gathering.
Maybe your right sands, I probably shouldnt have shared that when I was trying to make someone feel better. Most women relate to experiences where men do not. As for being worried about putting personal info up, well she doesnt come to forum groups or even go on the internet. However, this is an egypt forum and your wife is egyptian. Giving the way that everyone knows each other in egypt, and the way that urfi is frowned upon, I would say the chances that my mil seeing what I wrote are quite remote verses your wife finding out that you told everyone about your "urfi" marriage . A friend of a friend of a cousin could be reading-so you shared direct information on a board where it could cause your wife shame. It would be quite easy to figure out for someone there. I posted something about my ex mil. So I would say you commited a greater faux pas .
Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands:
quote:Originally posted by Rumicrazieluv: I watched my ex mother-in-law just get divorced after being married for 38 yrs. I have also watched her cry for hours over the wasted years with a rotten man who ruined my exhusband and the years of life that she missed out on because she stayed for the kids and out of fear. She now has a younger bf, got a facelift, is traveling. She never was even out of ny state till I took her,she never saw the ocean till last year when I took her, and She never even thought she would have sex again cause they hadnt had it since my ex-husband was 10(thank god she isnt reading this-sorry mom )Some might say she is acting crazy, but she missed out on alot of life and who can judge her for trying to recapture lost years.
Woe that was WAY WAY too much info for me. I do hope your ex mother-in-law doesn't stumble on this forum and read that. I don't know maybe she wouldn't mind. Maybe it's okay for you to put her business out in the street like that..geeze!
I'm just going to be a bit more careful what I write on the forum concerning my personal life, cause I now for sure that people are reading, taking notes and talking.
I can only imagine what is being written, copied and quoted from this forum and pasted on other forums, let alone at other gathering.
Maybe your right sands, I probably shouldnt have shared that when I was trying to make someone feel better. Most women relate to experiences where men do not. As for being worried about putting personal info up, well she doesnt come to forum groups or even go on the internet. However, this is an egypt forum and your wife is egyptian. Giving the way that everyone knows each other in egypt, and the way that urfi is frowned upon, I would say the chances that my mil seeing what I wrote are quite remote verses your wife finding out that you told everyone about your "urfi" marriage . A friend of a friend of a cousin could be reading-so you shared direct information on a board where it could cause your wife shame. It would be quite easy to figure out for someone there. I posted something about my ex mil. So I would say you commited a greater faux pas .
Unlike other people..I can speak for my wife on this issue.
She would have never (and she mentioned this right after the civil marriage was done) married me in the civil marriage first. We both insisted that we get married Islamically so that her famiy and wali would be included it was conducted in the Masjid walhamdulillah. Not for a split milli-second is either one of us ashamed about our URFI marriage it is the proper way that Muslims are supposed to be married in the first place, not at some city hall office (sorry if I offended anyone..just my own personal thoughts and observations).
We didn't URFI marriage like they do in Sharm or Hurgadah or elsewhere. We have a religious cermoney conducted in the masjid, with an Imam (masha Allah a Hafizul Quran) and the marriage contract with MANY MANY witnesses (Friends and family included) and of course my wife's wali. You couldn't ask for anything more and ALL the praise is due to Allah the Most High.
So the only option for us was URFI first and let me tell you sister, after visiting that jungle down there at the Ministry of Jusice..there is no doubt in my mind that we made the right decision.
The MOJ is a mad house. I do realize that it is a place to conduct civil marriage where Allah or God has no place and trust you me you won't find it there, but hey that's the way it's supposed to be.
But let me go on record. We wanted a religious ceremony, Islamically, respectable and recognized in the eyesight of Allah and that's what we accomplished first and foremost with the URFI marraige. No shame, no game, walhamdulillah. If a Muslim is ashame of being married in the masjid in front of friends and family members and recognized in the eyes of God..then they have a problem not me or my wonderful wife. We're just two proud URFI/Civil marriaage card carrying individuals..LOL Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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This is what a lot of people do not realise about the urfi marriage. If it is publicly declared, entered into for life, has 2 make witnesses and there is a dowry then it is an Islamic marriage recognised by the community and by the family. Mine is the same with the addition of being registered at the court. As a second wife that is the only way you can get married. The embassy do not assist at second marriages.
So we are also two proud URFI/Civil marriage card carrying individuals..LOL
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: This is what a lot of people do not realise about the urfi marriage. If it is publicly declared, entered into for life, has 2 make witnesses and there is a dowry then it is an Islamic marriage recognised by the community and by the family. Mine is the same with the addition of being registered at the court. As a second wife that is the only way you can get married. The embassy do not assist at second marriages.
So we are also two proud URFI/Civil marriage card carrying individuals..LOL
See Akshar some people here just don't get it. They try to make fun without understand the thing which they are making fun of.
It is obvious that you are well verse in understanding how things operate here in Egypt and even within the Muslim Community.
Your wisdom and experience is appreciated here by MANY as can be attested on many of the forums here. Like you told me..Don't let them get me down..HA HA..
They can try but inshaa Allah it won't happen.
Warmest regards to you and your family this Eid.
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands:
quote:Originally posted by akshar: This is what a lot of people do not realise about the urfi marriage. If it is publicly declared, entered into for life, has 2 male witnesses and there is a dowry then it is an Islamic marriage recognised by the community and by the family. Mine is the same with the addition of being registered at the court. As a second wife that is the only way you can get married. The embassy do not assist at second marriages.
So we are also two proud URFI/Civil marriage card carrying individuals..LOL
See Akshar some people here just don't get it. They try to make fun without understand the thing which they are making fun of.
It is obvious that you are well verse in understanding how things operate here in Egypt and even within the Muslim Community.
Your wisdom and experience is appreciated here by MANY as can be attested on many of the forums here. Like you told me..Don't let them get me down..HA HA..
They can try but inshaa Allah it won't happen.
Warmest regards to you and your family this Eid.
and to you and your family.
It has been totally refreshing to have your views on this forum and personally I have welcomed your input.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: This is what a lot of people do not realise about the urfi marriage. If it is publicly declared, entered into for life, has 2 make witnesses and there is a dowry then it is an Islamic marriage recognised by the community and by the family. Mine is the same with the addition of being registered at the court. As a second wife that is the only way you can get married. The embassy do not assist at second marriages.
So we are also two proud URFI/Civil marriage card carrying individuals..LOL
What most Egyptians don't understand this, that they are in fact marrying URFI too LOL.. The only difference is that the paperwork is taken to the Government office and registered by the Mazoon thats why the wait a week to get their marriage papers back also..LOL. So the mazoon does the URFI and then takes all the marriage contact with the signatures of all parties to the govenment office and registers the marriages..that's what they pay him to do. Why do you think he gets a percentage of the marriage contract.
Anyone who has been to an Egyptian marriage and seen how it is conducted before the ceremony knows this..so don't go around taking about there is something wrong with URFI marriages..Every Muslim Egyptian that has had a marriage performed in the masjid by a government mazoon has done an URFI marriage.. Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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That is how my aunt who married recently in Egypt described her marriage as islamic, and when she can she will have a civil marriage. Her husband's friends and family has accepted the marriage because the marriage was made public, there was a dowry and two male witnesses. She and her husband, friends and family considers the marriage as REAL. She is happy in Egypt.
Posts: 20 | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: In an Urfi marriage, what steps would need to be taken for the Urfi marriage to be considered to have been "made public"?
If you mean for an Islamic marriage, then the marriage should be announced publicly to the people who live around the couple and have contact with them, so they would not think that the couple were living together outside marriage. This should preferably include the families of the two people.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: In an Urfi marriage, what steps would need to be taken for the Urfi marriage to be considered to have been "made public"?
These so called "marriages" that are labelled as URFI marriage (and they aren't) are done in secret. There is no dowry, there is no wali, and the parents most of the time are not aware that they son or daughter are married and a lot of time there aren't even any witness because the two people are doing what they do that will cause shame on their families.
They call it URFI marriage it is NOT. What they do has NOTHING to do with URFI.
Many young people in Egypt are entering into this type of relationship due to the haram pressues but on them from families with the cost of getting married in Egypt. So basically there is an "cause and effect" taking place. They think that they can sign a document that states that the two consent to get married and that makes their "so called URFI marriage" legal. They are far away from the truth and they give the name of URFI a bad name. Because what they started was illegal in the first place and it will most likely end in a bad way.
With Allah is the Success.
P.S.
Public announcement is done most of the time in the Masjid for Muslims. A place that is opened to the public or it is also done after one of the prayers. The Imam or someone will stand up after a congregational prayer and say "such and such has been married to such and such." Or a wedding percussion takes place with the beating of the drums as was done in the time of the Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: So we are also two proud URFI marriage card carrying individuals.
Mrs. 2nd wife,
You must be from UTAH, USA. Ever wondered why aren't you the 1st?
Why do I think that you and "Somewhere in the Sands" is the same person or you are actually having a conversation with your Orfi husband?
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by of_gold: lovingmylife, I can't believe it but I agree with just about everything you have wrote. You are a voice of reason on this issue. good posts
I am glad you feel that way. Thanks.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: So we are also two proud URFI/civil marriage card carrying individuals.
Mrs. 2nd wife,
You must be from UTAH, USA. Ever wondered why aren't you the 1st?
Why do I think that you and "Somewhere in the Sands" is the same person or you are actually having a conversation with your Orfi husband?
lol how stupid are you, first you edit my message to remove the civil marriage. Then you don't bother to read my profile or notice I have been on these boards for years. I am British not American and have never been to Utah but you are right that is where Americans practise polygamy.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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you made some good points on this thread, only one that i dont agree with is saying that Cynthias man DOES love her, it is absolutely impossible for you or anyone here to know how this man feels, all we can do is speculate.
I dont think it is fair to start throwing sarcastic comments at Akshar, so what if she is a second wife, it IS her choice, what works for some doesn't for others, doesn't mean its wrong.
And combining the two issues, I would be les cynical about Cynthia's man if he had actually offered her the opportunity of being a second wife, if he is so unhappy. Surely if his wife is that unhappy too, she would agree?
Of course Cynthia would need to divorce her husband first, legally.
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by cynthiabates: In an Urfi marriage, what steps would need to be taken for the Urfi marriage to be considered to have been "made public"?
Her case ( askhar's ) is different. Her Orfi husband let everyone know he has 2 wives. They must be from Utah, USA.
Most Muslim man have 1 wife, and would not want 2nd because 1 is more than enough. They first divorce then marry another one.
Nobody wants to be the 2nd wife, except "special cases". I mean come on, would you want to be 2nd if you can be 1st?
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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Well lml you obviously have spoken to every Muslim man on the planet and every woman to speak with such authority ...................NOT
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Well thats not strictly true, a heard of a guy the other day, here in the UK, who was going off to have a third wife - I think he is just greedy, and some men who cant seem to stay faithful go and get some more wives.
I was having this conversation yesterday actually. Personally, me as I am today, would not and could not be a second wife, I couldnt share, I would rather divorce if my husband wanted a second.
However
If i wasn't in the UK, and was living in a country where i couldnt support myself and kids then it might be an option (the lesser of two evils, die or share! ) or If i was disabled and no longer intimate with my husband, and he had needs, maybe I would? (cant say for definate though)
these are just my circumstances that I could possibly share, others will be different.
I'm not against polygamy, as long as everyone involved is happy with it and they are all informed along the way (which, sadly, I dont think happens often).
But what i dont like is when a man starts pursuing another women without the first wife having a clue.
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: first you edit my message to remove the civil marriage. Then you don't bother to read my profile or notice I have been on these boards for years. I am British not American and have never been to Utah but you are right that is where Americans practise polygamy.
I edited to make it more accurate for the reader, because Orfi marriage is not civil marriage but "notarized paper".
This simply means that Your Orfi husband can throw this paper and you are no longer His Orfi wife.
Orfi is equivalent to western dating.
You pretty much live with a man who already has a wife.
So as a Muslim woman myself, I did not appreaciate that you portray Orfi marriage as Islamic and real offical marriage.
Go to US and see if you will be really his wife.
While his wife will be recognized even on Antartic. Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: [Why do I think that you and "Somewhere in the Sands" is the same person or you are actually having a conversation with your Orfi husband? [/QB]
Why in the world would you think that akshar and I are the same person?
When in doubt cast doubt!
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: first you edit my message to remove the civil marriage. Then you don't bother to read my profile or notice I have been on these boards for years. I am British not American and have never been to Utah but you are right that is where Americans practise polygamy.
I edited to make it more accurate for the reader, because Orfi marriage is not civil marriage but "notarized paper".
This simply means that Your Orfi husband can throw this paper and you are no longer His Orfi wife.
Orfi is equivalent to western dating.
You pretty much live with a man who already has a wife.
So as a Muslim woman myself, I did not appreaciate that you portray Orfi marriage as Islamic and real offical marriage.
Go to US and see if you will be really his wife.
While his wife will be recognized even on Antartic.
My civil marriage is recognised by the Egyptian authorities, I don't have to pay for a visa, pay Egyptian rates hotels.trains, historical sites, all on the basis of my marriage. How amazing.... you are wrong again.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote: LMLyou made some good points i dont agree with is saying that Cynthias man DOES love her, it is absolutely impossible for you or anyone here to know how this man feels, all we can do is speculate.
I go by what she says HE SAYS, and he says he LOVES HER. He knows whats in his heart so he said so.
Many try to judge someone's love ( usually negativelly ) somehow a man has to jump from the Moon on his head and land safelly to prove that when he says I LOVE U, he really means it.
If I were a man, I would not be able to be with this level of IQ.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: first you edit my message to remove the civil marriage. Then you don't bother to read my profile or notice I have been on these boards for years. I am British not American and have never been to Utah but you are right that is where Americans practise polygamy.
I edited to make it more accurate for the reader, because Orfi marriage is not civil marriage but "notarized paper".
This simply means that Your Orfi husband can throw this paper and you are no longer His Orfi wife.
Orfi is equivalent to western dating.
You pretty much live with a man who already has a wife.
So as a Muslim woman myself, I did not appreaciate that you portray Orfi marriage as Islamic and real offical marriage.
Go to US and see if you will be really his wife.
While his wife will be recognized even on Antartic.
Why does she have to go to the U.S.A. Her marriage is recognized in Egypt (remember they also registered it with the courts, didn't have to but they did).
Her marriage will be recognized in Saudia Arabia.
Her marriage will be recognized in Kuwait.
Her marriage will be recognized in Sudan.
Her marriage will be recognized in UAE.
Her marriage will be recognized in MANY MANY More countries.
Listen this is crazy. Gays or homosexuals can get married in the USA but a heterosexual woman who wants to be a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife can't!!
There is something wrong with that picture and you want to try to justify akshar's marriage not being legal in the USA over a Gay/homosexual marriage you act like having the approval of the USA is like GOLD.
Naw..I'm not buying it for one milli-second.
How many laws in the USA are against Islam? For example Riba (interest). Hijab (Some state it is illegal to take a picture with hijab on if you want to have a drivers license). Alcohol (drinking alcohol)is legal.
I can go on but I think I made my point. Ashkar doesn't need me to support her wonderful marriage the validity of it speaks for itself mashaa Allah. Both co-wives exist in harmony as well as the children and all parties are in agreeance of it and again the marriage is solid as a ROCK and LEGAL!
It is people who think like you that give URFI a bad name and by the way a man can have a civil marriage and take the paper and throw it out the window and go out and have sex with someone he isn't married to just the same as someone who is married URFI.
If he doesn't respect his marriage is doesn't make a difference if it's a civil or URFI marriage. He will disgrace himself any way it goes. Garbage in garbage out.
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
What do you want to see .......... his passport with the visa or a photo of him in the UK.
Whoops looks like you wrong yet again
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote: LMLyou made some good points i dont agree with is saying that Cynthias man DOES love her, it is absolutely impossible for you or anyone here to know how this man feels, all we can do is speculate.
I go by what she says HE SAYS, and he says he LOVES HER. He knows whats in his heart so he said so.
Many try to judge someone's love ( usually negativelly ) somehow a man has to jump from the Moon on his head and land safelly to prove that when he says I LOVE U, he really means it.
If I were a man, I would not be able to be with this level of IQ.
LML - I dont know if you have ever lived in the UK, but I have and I can tell you it is common place for many men to tell a woman they 'love her' when they dont. I know that this man is not English, but (i may be wrong here) I dont just accept something is true because someone says so.
Actions speak louder than words - I'm not saying he doesn't love her, only he knows how he really feels. but actions speak the loudest, and, IMO his actions are not as honourable as they could be.
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: Sure sure but her "marriage" is not recognized in her own native land - UK
She is not "really" married.
She is living with a man who already has a wife.
Is ashkar Muslim?
This is not my businesss actually but don't portary Orfi Marriage as offical and Islamic.
It's NOT.
The problem is with You and your post.
1. You are a Muslim and you don't know what a URFI marriage is. 2. You are a Muslim and hate polygamy, something what you can't do because Allah authorized it. As a Muslimah you might not like the idea of polygamy..but you can't reject it..if you do it puts you in kufr. 3. Akshar is married Islamically and it is recognized in MANY parts of the world..it's just not recogizne in some parts of the world were the governments operate under the laws of kufr. 4. Akshar and may other Muslim women who co-wives are living with her legal husbands. She is one of the fortunate ones..There are many women here on this forum who can't even be with their husbands (not kicking them down) just stating a fact. We ask Allah to joint and unite them with their loves ones soon..Ameen.
Can it get any clearer..GEEZE
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
BTW some quotes from that post about getting the visa which is dated June 2006
quote:We had evidence of the property he owns, his car, both his marriages, his children. BTW having an Orfi marriage that was court registered was not a problem. They were quite happy with that.
I explained exactly who I was. How long we had known each other, how long we had been married, why we were married Orfi and not through the Embassy.
So lml going to admit you are wrong about the UK accepting orfi marriages
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands: Both co-wives exist in harmony as well as the children and all parties are in agreeance of it and again the marriage is solid as a ROCK and LEGAL!
So what's so respectful about YOU sleeping with 2 women?
This is not Islamic. Muslims can't have sex until they marry and now you are trying to tell me that Allah decided to change His Mind ( in your case ) and get you 2 women to sleep with for your own satisfaction? Oh really!
You could of marry the 2nd wife only if the 1st wife was terminally ill, could not have children or was incapable of something so serious that your and her existance depended on another woman in the House.
Thanks to my elementary Islamic School, you can't brain wash me. Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: BTW some quotes from that post about getting the visa which is dated June 2006
quote:We had evidence of the property he owns, his car, both his marriages, his children. BTW having an Orfi marriage that was court registered was not a problem. They were quite happy with that.
I explained exactly who I was. How long we had known each other, how long we had been married, why we were married Orfi and not through the Embassy.
So lml going to admit you are wrong about the UK accepting orfi marriages
No she won't..Don't hold your breath Akshar..when confronted with true they normally ignore you and walk away. Rarely will they admit they were wrong. It think the trouble is removing their foot from their mouth publically.
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands: Both co-wives exist in harmony as well as the children and all parties are in agreeance of it and again the marriage is solid as a ROCK and LEGAL!
So what's so respectful about YOU sleeping with 2 women?
This is not Islamic. Muslims can't have sex until they marry and now you are trying to tell me that Allah decided to change His Mind ( in your case ) and get you 2 women to sleep with for your own satisfaction? Oh really!
You could of marry the 2nd wife only if the 1st wife was terminally ill, could not have children or was incapable of something so serious that your and her existance depended on another woman in the House.
Thanks to my elementary Islamic School, you can't brain wash me.
You're really confuse. I don't even have two wives..LOL
So what was the excuse that Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman had multiple wives radiallahu anhuma..oh yes..the Prophet (may Allah be pleased with him) had 11 wives many of them at the same time!
Your elementary Islamic education is flawed. Shame on those teachers..did you even pass the class?
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: [You could of marry the 2nd wife only if the 1st wife was terminally ill, could not have children or was incapable of something so serious that your and her existance depended on another woman in the House.
Now you copy is your Authentic Islamic Proof for the above! I Guarantee you, you won't find it from any reputable Scholar who follows the Quran and Sunnah.
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: Sure sure but her "marriage" is not recognized in her own native land - UK
But my marriage is recognised by the UK, that is how we got the visa.
Copy me the British Law in which it states it recognizes polygamy.
Ask me about Gays and Homosexaul marriages being recognized in the USA or how about Denmark..please I want to post it for you..pretty please I beg you!
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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