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Originally posted by WOTEVER:
No it's a question out of personal experience, of cross cultural marriage.

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ive married out of culture and different caste and its caused some problems but i actually dont care ,my daughter is another problem with her being has she is she is having th right to choose as long as ie hes a muslim i even said if hes white and reverts to islam then i still not got a problem but theres no going out or being boyfriend or girlfriend in that sence i thinki think this way casue she is autistic and slight auspergers i dont want her to be used in any way ,if her father who is of pakistani origen (oh by the was ES chimps has been married 3times )ok 1.he beat me..no 2 he slept in bed wif a 17 year old im not ashamed to tell you this CAUSE IM BETTER THAN THEM ,but if my daughters dad wanted his way hed marry her to his family NEPHEW ,AND THAT I WILL NOT TOLERATE IN ANY WAY ,,oh by the way the were big gaps in my marrying again ..lol lol hope that amuses you ...but iprefer my culture and im a memon mostly easy going people ,not normally a issue to marry who u want ...(chimps)

Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by WOTEVER:
This topic has evolved from another one regarding cultural practices, but I want to make this topic more specific (question to you is at the bottom) so:

I believe that when cultural practices overide religious obligations and duties, that's when the person's morals run into deep waters. Sometimes, Parents do not take heed of the Quran and Sunnah when it comes to things like marriage, because they are too busy engulfed in cultural practices.
Take for example, marriage within families. It is heard all too often that children have to marry within the family - no consideration is given as to how suitable the spouse is going to be for thier son or daughter, because he or she is related, he or she is exempt from such considerations or scrutiny.
I know of parents who have been happy to marry their sons & daughters to their incompatible cousins, knowing full well about their characters and personality, but they still go ahead with this. Piousness, status, education, personality, manners, are hardly taken into account. Parents feel they 'owe' something to their brothers or sisters and so sacrifice thier own childrens lives by forcing to marry them to their nieces and nephews.

In addition to this, parents disregard many good potential spouses for thier children simply because they are not of the family, caste or background. :
There are egyptian muslims out there who would rather marry their daughter to a man from within the family who, for example, is well known to be a druggy, alcoholic, fraudster, an unpious person of no real religious substance, than marry her to a pious good kind considerate black or white muslim man, or an asian man of different origin/bckground/caste -

Questions to ponder:

How are we to come out of the dark ages in regards to this practice?
What example do we give to those who have converted/reveretd to ISLAM?
When will such barriers be removed from our hearts to really welcome true brotherhood?
To really implement equality at its best?
To really show that we believe what our Lord, The Almight, Allah (swt) believes - in His eyes we are as equals are we not?
So why can we not see past colour, race, origin etc?
Why can we not see one another as equals?

SPECIFIC QUESTION:

Would you be happy to marry your sister, daughter to a good muslim man of another caste/race/ethnicity/colour/origin? If not, then why?

please answer honestly

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You raise some good points Wotever and I was actually watching an Islamic Lecture last night that touched on this point. IMHO culture has no place in Islam if it's to be practiced correctly. The Arabs had their own cultural practices in the times of Jahiliya and many of the Quran's messages aimed to eradicate some of these practices.

I don't mean that people should turn their back on their roots and background, but if any of their cultural practices compromise true Islamic beliefs then Islam should come first! (MY OPINION!)

One of the rights of women in Islam is to marry whom she pleases. "Forced" marriages are not Islamic, they are cultural, however I don't see a problem with arranged marriages if the two parties consent. Outside of Islam you have "blind dating" and many people don't have a problem with that. You can "guide" your daughters to the man you think would be good for them, but you should never MAKE them marry your choice. If you bring your daughters up in a good way and they learn to respect your decisions and advice then this shouldn't be a problem. How many Daughters seek their Mother's (or Father's) opinions in their life choices? Many children value what their parents think and will trust that they have their best interests at heart. It's all about respect - two ways.

If I had a daughter and if my sister was a Muslim, I WOULD be pleased for them to marry any good Muslim man regardless of their caste/race/ethnicity/colour/origin.

I do believe though that as realistically culture is playing a big part in the lives of Muslims today, that you would have to take that into account when marrying. One of my rights as a Muslim women is to work (as long as I am in control of my responsibilities as a Muslim woman), yet if I married a man whose culture and family are opposed to this, then I would have to show him the door (an example).

I never read anywhere in Quran or Hadith that interfamilial marriages are preferable and I believe that medical studies show the disadvantages if too much of this goes on

Posts: 815 | From: London and the other | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by CairoStudent:
Ok maybe this is a Western thing, but who the F*CK marries their own goddammed COUSIN?

That is so wack I can't believe it.

No woman I know would ever marry her cousin, that is so weird and perverted, not to mention ruins the genetic structural integrity of the future children.

That is why we saw so many Saudis in the American hospital in Baltimore where they fix brith defects.

Because all these idiots keep marrying their cousins, and the children end up with deformed legs and all kinds of ****.

There is 6 billion people in the world. Marry someone you are not related to. Simple.

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Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Left.Side.Lying.State.Of.Mind:

quote:

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Originally posted by CairoStudent:
Ok maybe this is a Western thing, but who the F*CK marries their own goddammed COUSIN?

That is so wack I can't believe it.

No woman I know would ever marry her cousin, that is so weird and perverted, not to mention ruins the genetic structural integrity of the future children.

That is why we saw so many Saudis in the American hospital in Baltimore where they fix brith defects.

Because all these idiots keep marrying their cousins, and the children end up with deformed legs and all kinds of ****.

There is 6 billion people in the world. Marry someone you are not related to. Simple.

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I know it seems weird to us (Westerners), although marrying first cousins is allowed in many states in the U.S. (including Maryland by the way).

However, I think the concept of birth defects in intermarriage is a bit overblown. I went for genetic counseling when I was first pregnant because I was older, *and* because my Egyptian husband's parents are first cousins.

My genetic counselor told me that in a typical marriage, there is a risk of genetically-inherited birth defect in 1-2% of all live births. In cases where parents were related at first cousin level, the rate doubles, but still is only 2-4%. My husband's family has no birth defects or inherent health problems. In fact, they are very healthy and highly intelligent (thank God).

Still, I wouldn't ever marry someone blood-related myself, as my own social stigma against it is too strong.

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Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged |