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Turn off that stove!? An eight-step Ramadan plan for sisters
If you're in charge of cooking in your household, and it's usually women around the world who are, then you can feel like most of your Ramadan is spent over a hot stove instead of on a prayer mat.
I was once complaining to a friend of mine about how so many Muslim women seem to miss the blessings of Ramadan because of the overemphasis on great food at Iftar time. While I attributed this to a lack of consideration for the needs of women, my friend shared an interesting story.
She was originally from Egypt, and she recounted how her mother and the women in her neighborhood actually competed with each other in Ramadan over food. In other words, they vied for the title of "maker of the best Ka'k (cookies) this side of Alexandria." And this was despite the fact that male family members and even the Imam were encouraging women to share in the blessings of the month through prayer and mosque participation.
This Ramadan, let's remove our inner and outer obstacles to spiritual success.
At the inner level, let's start by ditching any feelings of guilt, competition or jealousy we may have for other sisters. You know who I'm talking about: the ones who can whip up a five-course Iftar plus dinner faster than you can say "what should I make for supper tonight?"The ones who can hold a full-time job, ferry their kids to extra-curricular activities and still hold grand Iftar parties at their homes.
Now we're ready to do something about the biggest outer obstacle to spiritual success every Ramadan: our families. We love them and yes, their demands for food high in fat, salt and sugar can be indulged once in a while in Ramadan. But doing this every Iftar seems to defeat the purpose of fasting in the first place. Remember, it's about self-control, even after we're allowed to eat.
Here is an eight-step plan to help you gain more time in Ramadan for spiritual success:
1. Call a family meeting-today. We've got barely a week until Ramadan begins. Choose a day and time when everyone can be present. 2. Serve a sample Iftar menu at the meeting (I'll explain why in point 3) 3. Start off the meeting with the food. Then once everyone is comfortable, explain very kindly that you will only be making this food five times this Ramadan: once a week and once when guests are invited over. 4. When the news has sunk in, explain further to your family that you would like Ramadan to be a time for becoming closer to Allah. You cannot do this if you have to spend most of your time cooking and cleaning up after everyone. Be firm but polite. 5. Discuss the Ramadan meal plan. Ask everyone to share what kind of dishes they would like to eat that are healthy. 6. Once all the ideas are in, establish a cooking and cleaning schedule so that everyone pitches in. Explain that while you will still be doing the main cooking, other family members will have to help either with pre-Iftar arrangements (setting table, calling everyone, etc.) or post-Iftar ones (washing dishes/loading dishwasher, wiping counters, sweeping, etc.). A sample form you can use is here. 7. Enforce the schedule by rewarding children. For younger kids, a chore chart with a sticker for each day of help offered could work, as well as a small toy or gift at the end of every successful two-week period. For older kids, you could promise to spend a whole day with them doing something they enjoy after Ramadan or extend a privilege they have (e.g. access to the car if they drive). 8. For husbands, express your appreciation verbally by saying thank you and explaining how the extra help is a real spiritual boost.
If this plan is successfully implemented, you can extend it to the rest of the year, thereby gaining more time to focus on your spiritual needs. But even if you get more time on your prayer mat than over your stove just one month out of the year, the one where our good deeds count for more, it'll be worth the effort. So go ahead. Turn off that stove and call that meeting!
This article provides useful tips on how to avoid some common problems encountered in Ramadan. If followed, it would enable one to fast comfortably and enjoy fully the spiritual benefits of Ramadan. During the holy month of Ramadan, our diet should not differ very much from our normal diet and should be as simple as possible. The diet should be such that we maintain our normal weight, neither losing nor gaining. However, if one is over-weight, Ramadan is an ideal time to normalise one's weight.
Consume Slow Digesting Foods
In view of the long hours of fasting, we should consume slow digesting foods including fibre containing-foods rather than fast-digesting foods. Slow digesting foods last up to 8 hours, while fast-digesting foods last for only 3 to 4 hours.
Slow-digesting foods are foods that contain grains and seeds like barley, wheat, oats, millet, semolina, beans, lentils, wholemeal flour, unpolished rice, etc. (called complex carbohydrates). Fast-burning foods are foods that contain sugar, white flour, etc. (called refined carbohydrates).
Fibre-containing foods are bran-containing foods, whole wheat, grains and seeds, vegetables like green beans, peas, sem (papry), marrow, mealies, spinach, and other herbs like methie, the leaves of beetroot (iron-rich), fruit with skin, dried fruit especially dried apricots, figs and prunes, almonds, etc..
The foods eaten should be well balanced, containing foods from each food group, i.e. fruits, vegetables, meat/chicken/fish, bread/cereals and dairy products. Fried foods are unhealthy and should be limited. They cause indigestion, heartburn, and weight problems.
AVOID *Fried and fatty foods. *Foods containing too much sugar. *Over-eating especially at sehri. *Too much tea at sehri. Tea makes you pass more urine taking with it valuable mineral salts that your body would need during the day. *Smoking cigarettes. Smoking is unhealthy and one should stop completely.
EAT Eat complex carbohydrates at sehri so that the food lasts longer making you less hungry. Haleem is an excellent source of protein and is a slow-burning food. Dates are excellent source of sugar, fibre, carbohydrates, potassium and magnesium. Almonds are rich in protein and fibre with less fat. Bananas are a good source of potassium, magnesium and carbohydrates.
DRINK As much water or fruit juices as possible between iftar and bedtime so that your body may adjust fluid levels in time.
CONSTIPATION Constipation can cause piles (haemorroids), fissures and indigestion with a bloated feeling.
Causes: Too much refined foods, too little water and not enough fibre in the diet.
Remedy: Avoid excessive refined foods, increase water intake, and use bran in baking, brown flour when making roti.
LETHARGY ('low blood pressure') Excessive sweating, weakness, tiredness, lack of energy, dizziness, especially on getting up from sitting position, pale appearance and feeling faint are symptoms associated with "low blood pressure". This tends to occur towards the afternoon.
Causes: Too little fluid intake, decreased salt intake. Remedy: Keep cool, increase fluid and salt intake. Caution: Low blood pressure should be confirmed by taking a blood pressure reading when symptoms are present. Persons with high blood pressure may need their medication adjusted during Ramadan. They should consult their doctor.
HEADACHE Causes: Caffeine and tobacco-withdrawal, doing too much in one day, lack of sleep, hunger usually occurs as the day goes by and worsens at the end of the day. When associated with "low blood pressure", the headache can be quite severe and can also cause nausea before Iftar. Remedy: Cut down caffeine and tobacco slowly starting a week or two before Ramadan. Herbal and caffeine-free teas may be substituted. Reorganise your schedule during the Ramadan so as to have adequate sleep.
LOW BLOOD SUGAR Weakness, dizziness, tiredness, poor concentration, perspiring easily, feeling shaky (tremor), unable to perform physical activities, headache, palpitations are symptoms of low blood sugar. Causes in non-diabetics: Having too much sugar (i.e. refined carbohydrates especially at suhur (sehri)). The body produces too much insulin causing the blood glucose to drop. Remedy: Eat something at sehri and limit sugar-containing foods and drinks. Caution: Diabetics may need to adjust their medication in Ramadan, consult your doctor.
MUSCLE CRAMPS Causes: Inadequate intake of calcium, magnesium and potassium foods. Remedy: Eat foods rich in the above minerals (e.g. vegetables, fruit, dairy products, meat and dates). Caution: Those on high blood pressure medication and with kidney stone problems should consult their doctor.
PEPTIC ULCERS, HEART BURN, GASTRITIS AND HIATUS HERNIA Increased acid levels in the empty stomach in Ramadan aggravate the above conditions. It presents itself as a burning feeling in the stomach area under the ribs and can extend up to the throat. Spicy foods, coffee, and Cola drinks worsen these conditions. Medications are available to control acid levels in the stomach. People with proven peptic ulcers and hiatus hernia should consult their doctor well before Ramadan.
KIDNEY STONES Kidney stones may occur in people who have less liquid to drink. Therefore, it is essential to drink extra liquids so as to prevent stone formation.
JOINT PAINS Causes: During Ramadan, when extra salah are performed the pressure on the knee joints increases. In the elderly and those with arthritis this may result in pain, stiffness, swelling and discomfort. Remedy: Lose weight so that the knees do not have to carry any extra load. Exercise the lower limbs before Ramadan so that they can be prepared for the additional strain. Being physically fit allows greater fulfillment, thus enabling one to be able to perform salah with ease. You should always consult with your own personal doctor or healthcare provider for appropriate advice concerning your specific health needs and care during Ramadan.
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Dalia - Do you wear a helmet and armour when doing step #3??? I would love to hear if this really works!!!
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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I plan to make lots of Italian food for Ramadan, and many pies. Yes, it's easy, quick and tasty. Happy Ramadan all. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I am sure I am the only person in the world who actually dreads the Ramadan season. My husband becomes almost unbearable while fasting. He tries to sleep after work and stay away from us until iftar, but the quitting smoking thing every day for 30 days takes its toll on me and our family. Does this happen to anyone else?
Posts: 219 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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I don't dread the beginning of Ramadan but about 10 days into it I'm done. I get really irritable because I'm tired from sleeping late and getting up early plus I can't have my mid morning coffee. The not being able to smoke is real pleasant for my husband. Honestly, I don't get too much out of it spiritually. It ends up being a complete clusterfuck about two weeks in. I'm way too irritated and pissed off to gain anything spiritually from it. I know that's awful but that's how it is for me.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Mother War: I don't dread the beginning of Ramadan but about 10 days into it I'm done. I get really irritable because I'm tired from sleeping late and getting up early plus I can't have my mid morning coffee. The not being able to smoke is real pleasant for my husband. Honestly, I don't get too much out of it spiritually. It ends up being a complete clusterfuck about two weeks in. I'm way too irritated and pissed off to gain anything spiritually from it. I know that's awful but that's how it is for me.
Posts: 2728 | From: جمهورية مصر العربية | Registered: Sep 2006
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When did the custom of fasting the whole month start? Was it not the practice to fast a day a week in the early days of Islam? Wouldn't that be healthier? Also that would give you 52 fasting days a year instead of 28 and each person could chose when to do their fast ie menstruating women, people with colds and flu etc. Is that not more sensible? What did the prophet do in his time?
Posts: 67 | Registered: Aug 2007
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The Prophet (peace be upon him used to fast 3 days a month and also some other days until it was revealed that the Muslims should fast for the whole of the month of Ramadan.
Here is a verse of the Qur'an related to it: "Ramadan is the (month) in which Qur'an was sent down, as a guide to mankind, and a clear guidance and judgement (so that mankind will distinguish right from wrong). Whoever among you witnesses the month of Ramadan should fast through it. But whoever is sick or on a journey, the prescribed period (missed should be made up) by days later. Allah wants ease for you and He does not want to put you into difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful" (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:185)
It is reported that in addition to fasting the whole of Ramadan that the Prophet also used to fast a lot in the month preceding it:
`Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her), said, "Prophet Muhammad , would sometimes begin to fast continuously until we thought he would not stop fasting, and sometimes he used to stop fasting until we thought he would never fast. I never saw the Messenger of Allah fasting a complete month, except the month of Ramadan, and I have never seen him fasting in a month more frequently than he did in Sha`ban."
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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I am not as excited as I was a few weeks ago. I’ve been nonchalant and putting things off for awhile and now Ramadan is only a few days away and I regret my procrastination. That’s life though. Personally the hardest part of Ramadan is the final week because by then I miss the simple things in life like a cup of tea/coffee as soon as I wake up and the energy I usually enjoy all day.
When Ramadan ends that’s the start of a new year for me because I appreciate life and the mundane things like never before. Yes I am looking forward to eidilfitr Posts: 2079 | From: 'by any means necessary' - Malcom X | Registered: Mar 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Juwan: Wouldn't that be healthier?
a lot of things cant be processed by our feeble human brains. we cant judge anything to be healthier or not. some people eat some clean food ( which is supposed to be healthy food) then they find it contaminated and they catch illness.
so what is healthier is what God prescribed cuz God is the all knowing, all hearing and all seeing.
Posts: 2728 | From: جمهورية مصر العربية | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Mother War: I don't dread the beginning of Ramadan but about 10 days into it I'm done. I get really irritable because I'm tired from sleeping late and getting up early plus I can't have my mid morning coffee. The not being able to smoke is real pleasant for my husband. Honestly, I don't get too much out of it spiritually. It ends up being a complete clusterfuck about two weeks in. I'm way too irritated and pissed off to gain anything spiritually from it. I know that's awful but that's how it is for me.
MW, perhaps you get MORE benefit from it because it is so difficult for you and causes you such distress. Anyway, I hope you tolerate it better this year, you have your husband with you this Ramadan so it might be easier to handle. Happy Ramadan to you and your family. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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