posted
I am a muslim and I have many struggles with my religion, such as praying 5 times, wearing hijab (at times) and sometimes the way men and women's roles are different.
I think most of this is because it is not a religion I have grown up with, or been surrounded by. In the UK, people who are religious are often criticised or looked at suspiciously, in adddition to this, women are on a mission to be 'equal' to men, which in many ways I agree with but in some I dont.
So I wonderer what were other peoples struggles, whether there might be similarities between the struggles of women, muslims, christians...
I believe we all have them, maybe its not religion itself, but where you live that makes it hard?
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by crisálida: I am a muslim and I have many struggles with my religion, such as praying 5 times, wearing hijab (at times) and sometimes the way men and women's roles are different.
I think most of this is because it is not a religion I have grown up with, or been surrounded by. In the UK, people who are religious are often criticised or looked at suspiciously, in adddition to this, women are on a mission to be 'equal' to men, which in many ways I agree with but in some I dont.
So I wonderer what were other peoples struggles, whether there might be similarities between the struggles of women, muslims, christians...
I believe we all have them, maybe its not religion itself, but where you live that makes it hard?
I have 3 issues Crisalida:
1- Similarly to you praying 5 times a day is difficult – although when my faith barometer is higher then this isn’t a problem at all. Also praying at the Mosque and although it is Sunnah – it is hard for me to pray at the Mosque at all times – but like Prayer in general when my faith barometer is high then this isn’t a difficulty at all.
2- Segregation policy of Islam. Women are attracted to me and vice versa and so it is hard to keep my gaze down at times.
3- Alcohol – well actually beer. It was something I always enjoyed because of the taste and buzz – and also the scene because I enjoy the company of people who drink. So this is hard for me but Alhamdullillah my drinking and partying from a year ago is drastically down.
But i just came back from Friday Prayers and i feel good Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
Exiled - did you grow up in an Islamic environment? do you think this has anything to do with the things you find difficult?
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by crisálida: Thanks for answering
Exiled - did you grow up in an Islamic environment? do you think this has anything to do with the things you find difficult?
I wasn’t brought up in an Islamic society at all. Faith is an amazing thing and by faith I mean emann. It either increases or decreases. I simply have the tendency to do things that decrease it and once in such in a cycle it is difficult to increase it.
Drinking for example – if I hang out with friends and we party and this is usually on a weekend (Thursday) then next morning Friday – I would oversleep the Fajr Prayer, the Friday prayers and and if I am suffering from a hangover all the prayers for that day.
This is just a simple example – another is going out and simply being lazy and not heeding the call to prayer even in a Mall where a Malasa (prayer area) is always available.
So that’s my problem. Other than that I am an upstanding Muslim Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am not following the all the rules of my religion because I think they don't make me a better person. I try to live in harmony with the people next to me, I try not to hurt or harm anybody, I do not steal, I do not kill, I take care of the ones near, and I think that is enough...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
What I find difficult in my religion? Too much prudery and too much politics, I guess.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Exiled: [QUOTE]Originally posted by crisálida: [qb] Drinking for example – if I hang out with friends and we party and this is usually on a weekend (Thursday) then next morning Friday – I would oversleep the Fajr Prayer, the Friday prayers and and if I am suffering from a hangover all the prayers for that day.
Prayer Not Accepted: Al-Tirmidhi #3643, narrated Abdullah ibn Umar ; Abdullah ibn Amr Allah's Messenger said, "If anyone drinks wine Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, but if he repents Allah will forgive him. If he repeats the offence Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, but if he repents Allah will forgive him. If he again repeats the offence Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, but if he repents Allah will forgive him. If he repeats it a fourth time Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, and if he repents Allah will not forgive him, but will give him to drink of the river of the fluid flowing from the inhabitants of Hell." [Tirmidhi transmitted it, and Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it on the authority of Abdullah ibn Amr.]
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
my difficulties: 1- getting the prayers done on time, but i like it--it's like therapy 2- i don't wear hijab & yes i'm aware of everything (thanks for your concern whoever is thinking something right now). 3- don't appreciate the critical nature of the community which is more cultural than religious. and i also don't appreciate the nature of supposed 'open minded' people who only tolerate those like themselves, i grew up where it was considered backwards to even believe in religion at all. 4- i don't see the gender issue as an issue in the religion but more so with the culture of certain places, and pretty much find that an issue in alot of places not related to islam/middle east/etc. 5- money matters (ie inheritance) i can disagree with a few things, but there are ways around it or things that balance it so it's not such an issue.
great topic for discussion btw. i admit my faults not for the sake of bragging, but for the sake of maybe letting someone out there know that they're not alone if they have doubts, and not to give up.
-------------------- Disclaimer: My posts are not meant to personally offend anyone. If you find yourself reading my posts repeatedly, you are kindly asked to seek the help of a professional Posts: 483 | From: cairo | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Exiled: [QUOTE]Originally posted by crisálida: [qb] Drinking for example – if I hang out with friends and we party and this is usually on a weekend (Thursday) then next morning Friday – I would oversleep the Fajr Prayer, the Friday prayers and and if I am suffering from a hangover all the prayers for that day.
Prayer Not Accepted: Al-Tirmidhi #3643, narrated Abdullah ibn Umar ; Abdullah ibn Amr Allah's Messenger said, "If anyone drinks wine Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, but if he repents Allah will forgive him. If he repeats the offence Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, but if he repents Allah will forgive him. If he again repeats the offence Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, but if he repents Allah will forgive him. If he repeats it a fourth time Allah will not accept prayer from him for forty days, and if he repents Allah will not forgive him, but will give him to drink of the river of the fluid flowing from the inhabitants of Hell." [Tirmidhi transmitted it, and Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it on the authority of Abdullah ibn Amr.]
I had no idea this was going to turn to a Hadith discourse. Anyhow Tirmithi, Nasai and Ibn Majah are certainly not upper tier hadith collectors and surely they have in their collections weak and inauthentic hadith - but i won't even go there.
I will submit another hadith, one that is transmitted by Bukhari and Muslim:
Narrated 'Ikrima from Ibn 'Abbas: Allah's Apostles said, "When a slave (of Allah) commits illegal sexual intercourse, he is not a believer at the time of committing it; and if he steals, he is not a believer at the time of stealing; and if he drinks an alcoholic drink, when he is not a believer at the time of drinking it; and he is not a believer when he commits a murder," 'Ikrima said: I asked Ibn Abbas, "How is faith taken away from him?" He said, Like this," by clasping his hands and then separating them, and added, "But if he repents, faith returns to him like this, by clasping his hands again.
Pretty much says it, all. The above Hadith mention of 40 days clearly contradicts what this authentic hadith - a hadith that explicitly states a Muslim is not a believer at the time he is drinking. He finishes drinking he is a believer again - and i would think all good deeds and all prayers are valid in such a state.
But that's what I concluded.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Vader: I just googled it and posted it. Because I was brought up to believe that you're prayer won't be accepted for 40 days if you drink.
Just thought I'd point it out.
No problem. It is Hadith and we are free to believe it or not. It is certainly not concrete like the Quran.
Tirmidhi transmits a Hadith that states if a Muslim hears the call to prayer(adhan) and does not follow it (go to the Mosque and pray) his prayer will not be accepted even if he prayed it at home.
Prayer at a Mosque is Sunnah Muakkadah and not obligatory. This is what I BELIEVE but you will have some people who believe it is obligatory and of course Allah (swt) knows and Allah(swt) decides.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
True. But I also think that Allah will evaluate us depending on what we thought was true, unless we chose to believe the less logical option to make it easier for ourselves.
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
Vader - Is this 40 day rule the same on committing any sin do you know?
Exiled - Not being a believer when you a commit a sin seems self explanatory, but then if you believe again when you stop, doesn't seem much of a deterant does it?
Cairobug - dont worry yourself about what others think, i'm sure you would be the first to say that to me! x
I was reading the other day about beards and hijab, i found it really odd that people discuss this as one of the essential criteria when deciding to marry, as if its an indicator of character, personally I dont think it is, even if it SHOULD be.
From your experiences, what would you say MOST people struggle with the most? from those around you?
looks like alot of us struggle with some aspect of prayer.
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Vader: True. But I also think that Allah will evaluate us depending on what we thought was true, unless we chose to believe the less logical option to make it easier for ourselves.
I like this, its very true...i'm trying to think if I do this about some things now.
erm...ok confession time, I think I do, you know when you do wudu, and you have to take water into your nose and blow it out. It makes my sinuses hurt!!! I dont like it, I keep thinking, maybe if I just sniff a teensy weensy bit that will count Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Drinking is the only sin that has the 40 days rule according to my memory.
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by crisálida: Wow so many answers, thanks guys
Vader - Is this 40 day rule the same on committing any sin do you know?
Exiled - Not being a believer when you a commit a sin seems self explanatory, but then if you believe again when you stop, doesn't seem much of a deterant does it?
quote:Vader - Is this 40 day rule the same on committing any sin do you know?
Crisalida - ask the right question?! Ask what is the credibility of Tirmidhi 40 day hadith, is it authentic, fabricated, weak?
quote: Exiled - Not being a believer when you a commit a sin seems self explanatory, but then if you believe again when you stop, doesn't seem much of a deterant does it?
Allah (swt) Mercy is limitless. The goal is to die a believer. Keep that in mind - wa insha allah you and I die true believers.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by crisálida: Exiled - Dont worry, I did get your point on it being weak, I was just curious whether it applied to anything else
Your second point - yes inshaallah
Tirmidhi actually classified that hadith as hasan under his criteria. I do not believe it is applied to anything else.
My point was a simple one - when it comes to hadith it is our free will to believe or not.
Such by scholars conflicts with what the prophet(saw) says about Niyyah. I truly believe if a person has the Niyyah to offer prayer to Allah(swt) - then such will be accepted or denied by Allah(swt) and not by stipulations in hasan or otherwise hadiths.
For example as i mentioned earlier the hadith that states your prayer won't be accepted if your hear the call to prayer and don't pray in a mosque. The same with drinking and everything we do. It is about Niyyah and that is very personal.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
What I find hardest in my religion is the verse in the bible that says you are to obey your husband and reading the bible every day.
Posts: 384 | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thank you for opening this thread, it's very intersting.
Personally, as a Muslim, I find it really hard to practice my faith the way I want. Muslims nowadays are constantly preaching to one another about how to do things, and they always support their claims by a hadeeth or a fatwa. I find this very suffocating.
Elhamdullelah I don't have a problem praying five times a day, however I do struggle to concentrate while praying.
Another thing that bothers me, is that Muslims are not allowed to question. By questioning I don't mean questioning the exitence of God or the Koran, not at all. I mean just trying to understand little things about Islam. A few months ago, I had a problem with a story about one of the Sahaba, and when I tried asking my mom, she accused me of being a disbeliver. I hate this attitude. We all have a right to undertand the different aspects of our religion.
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Vader: True. But I also think that Allah will evaluate us depending on what we thought was true, unless we chose to believe the less logical option to make it easier for ourselves.
I like this, its very true...i'm trying to think if I do this about some things now.
erm...ok confession time, I think I do, you know when you do wudu, and you have to take water into your nose and blow it out. It makes my sinuses hurt!!! I dont like it, I keep thinking, maybe if I just sniff a teensy weensy bit that will count
Cris, warm or hot water hurts, always use cold water
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: Thank you for opening this thread, it's very intersting.
Personally, as a Muslim, I find it really hard to practice my faith the way I want. Muslims nowadays are constantly preaching to one another about how to do things, and they always support their claims by a hadeeth or a fatwa. I find this very suffocating.
Elhamdullelah I don't have a problem praying five times a day, however I do struggle to concentrate while praying.
Another thing that bothers me, is that Muslims are not allowed to question. By questioning I don't mean questioning the exitence of God or the Koran, not at all. I mean just trying to understand little things about Islam. A few months ago, I had a problem with a story about one of the Sahaba, and when I tried asking my mom, she accused me of being a disbeliver. I hate this attitude. We all have a right to undertand the different aspects of our religion.
I agree with this!
For me religion is a very personal thing and I do find all the 'advise' unwelcome at times, although I know the intention of the advisor is good. People are different and I am one who will find my own way, make my own mistakes and come to my own conclusions, not just in religion but in anything.
I find it hard to pray 5 times a day sometimes and yes, to concentrate sometimes. But when it is right then its great.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
wow - what a great discussion this is turning out to be - no nasty comments from the peanut gallery and I am surprised !
I can relate to almost everything that everyone is saying, and then some.
I, too, have probs from time to time about praying 5 times a day, and also sometimes my mind just wanders during prayer, but I drag my mind back, and get it right. and I go nutty with SOME people's version of Islam that doesn't coincide with logic, and what I believe at a core level, and what I find on my own to be true. I am very leery of some people that just want to scream their opinion at me, without being able to show me where they get their facts from.
also, about asking questions. I feel that it is my duty to question things, to find out the truth, to separate the culture from what is truth, and to hopefully get the correct answers to various questions. drives my husband bonkers, and a few times he has accused me of being an unbeliever, but when he calms down, and talks to me rationally, then we usually get to the root of the problem.
Am finally getting to the point of realizing that it will be a lifelong process for me, and there are just no answers that come easy for me. Never had ay problems with alcohol as I stopped a few years before converting, but I still crave pork from time to time (especially when I watch food TV shows..lol), but never ate any since converting, and still have major issues with hijab.
Posts: 1103 | From: 6th of October | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Most difficult in my religion: being made to feel that I have to defend everyone in it or things done in its name. Praying was difficult at first but only because the language was different. It is easier now that I have memorized things, and covering for me was never an issue and (btw) yes I do think covering is fard. I know others do not and I respect that. It's also difficult to hold my tongue at times or not say something unless I have something good to say...old habits die hard. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: Thank you for opening this thread, it's very intersting.
Personally, as a Muslim, I find it really hard to practice my faith the way I want. Muslims nowadays are constantly preaching to one another about how to do things, and they always support their claims by a hadeeth or a fatwa. I find this very suffocating.
Elhamdullelah I don't have a problem praying five times a day, however I do struggle to concentrate while praying.
Another thing that bothers me, is that Muslims are not allowed to question. By questioning I don't mean questioning the exitence of God or the Koran, not at all. I mean just trying to understand little things about Islam. A few months ago, I had a problem with a story about one of the Sahaba, and when I tried asking my mom, she accused me of being a disbeliver. I hate this attitude. We all have a right to undertand the different aspects of our religion.
quote: Elhamdullelah I don't have a problem praying five times a day, however I do struggle to concentrate while praying.
Masha Allah 3alayeck. Don't worry about struggling with concentration during Salat. It is very normal and Prophet Muhammad(saw) was asked about this and he replied the shaitan won't relent until he forces the believer to abandon prayer altogether. Keep doing what you are doing - Muslims like you make me feel ashamed of my shortcomings in this regard.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
Sometimes my mind wanders too when I pray, or worse still the cat comes and sits in front of me on the prayer mat!
Someone said about being able to question your religion - I totally agree with this, there are loads of things I struggle with, although I never question Mohammed (pbuh) or God (swt) I do question other things like (someone else already said about the Bible) - Obeying your husband.
Not that you wouldn't want a harmonious atmosphere at home, but if you disagree on something, and it comes back to your husband...not sure its fair. My husband has never stopped me leaving the house, but he has that right...why?
Also, the thing with questioning is, like my other thread, people put it down to your personal circumstances, when its not about whether I'm agreeing with my husbands/friends beliefs, but what is widely accepted as ISLAM. Like Smuckers said, you feel the need to defend ISLAM, but this can also be difficult without so much knowledge, and you cant get this knowledge without questioning!
So to give an example of my own, I want to work - anywhere I want - my husband doesn't want me to work ANYWHERE. Now people might say 'you should be able to work anywhere' - islam doesnt stop a woman etc. BUT, I married my husband, I love my husband and want him to be happy too - So we will have to reach a compromise wont we? BUT Islamically, if I should OBEY him, if he can stop me leaving the house if he wants, but yet I have a RIGHT to work (but does this include anywhere?) which is stronger? I always use the example of Khadija, but then, she had people working for her, did she leave the house even? AND men and women in those days weren't working so closely together in offices etc, AND Islam promotes segregation so in that case you would have more choice where you worked, rather than in the west for example.
So you see, one issue, (which incidently doesn't need solving-I just gave as an example) can be very complicated, I can of course say - this is MY interpretation of Islam so i am going to do this, but I would also have to accept my husbands interpretation of Islam too, because we are united, and I think you both have to find your way through these things.
Maybe because of the contradictions and different interpretations of religions it makes this issue very hard and I am just giving ONE example, most of us have several going on, like someone else said, its a journey, and sometimes we need the information sooner than it is possible to have!!
I just gave an example from my own experience, I am not wanting to discuss it personally, I do know that many muslim men would not want their wives to work in environments closely with other men (and non muslims actually), so its not about me, or the differences between men that do ro dont, but equality in religion, and the reasons for some of our questioning Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
i read somewhere ages ago that you are supposed to stare at a spot and not close your eyes like is normal in prayer for other religions. I find this hard and it does nothing for my concentration at all!
What I have found works great is to cloes my eyes and imagine there is just me and Him in the whole universe. Me standing on His hand among all the stars and galaxies and stuff. Works well for concentrating
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Having to pray in Arabic is another issue that I find hard in my religion. Being brought up in an Arab country it doesn't make a difference to me. However, my husband is Australian (with an Egyptian background) and he really struggles to pray in Arabic. He says that he doens't enjoy praying because he doesn't understand what he is saying. He asked me if it's possible if he can pray using the translation. I told him that it's not permissable, however, I couldn't really explain to him why. It's very difficult I think.
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I used to pray in English because I felt it was better to pray and understand it, once I memorised it in English I then learnt the arabic so I know what I am saying now.
Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by crisálida: Good for you Loving my life
Yes it is turning into a good discussion.
Sometimes my mind wanders too when I pray, or worse still the cat comes and sits in front of me on the prayer mat!
Someone said about being able to question your religion - I totally agree with this, there are loads of things I struggle with, although I never question Mohammed (pbuh) or God (swt) I do question other things there are loads of things I struggle with, although I never question Mohammed (pbuh) or God (swt) I do question other things like (someone else already said about the Bible) - Obeying your husband.
Not that you wouldn't want a harmonious atmosphere at home, but if you disagree on something, and it comes back to your husband...not sure its fair. My husband has never stopped me leaving the house, but he has that right...why?
Also, the thing with questioning is, like my other thread, people put it down to your personal circumstances, when its not about whether I'm agreeing with my husbands/friends beliefs, but what is widely accepted as ISLAM. Like Smuckers said, you feel the need to defend ISLAM, but this can also be difficult without so much knowledge, and you cant get this knowledge without questioning! Also, the thing with questioning is, like my other thread, people put it down to your personal circumstances, when its not about whether I'm agreeing with my husbands/friends beliefs, but what is widely accepted as ISLAM. Like Smuckers said, you feel the need to defend ISLAM, but this can also be difficult without so much knowledge, and you cant get this knowledge without questioning!
So to give an example of my own, I want to work - anywhere I want - my husband doesn't want me to work ANYWHERE. Now people might say 'you should be able to work anywhere' - islam doesnt stop a woman etc. BUT, I married my husband, I love my husband and want him to be happy too - So we will have to reach a compromise wont we? BUT Islamically, if I should OBEY him, if he can stop me leaving the house if he wants, but yet I have a RIGHT to work (but does this include anywhere?) which is stronger? I always use the example of Khadija, but then, she had people working for her, did she leave the house even? AND men and women in those days weren't working so closely together in offices etc, AND Islam promotes segregation so in that case you would have more choice where you worked, rather than in the west for example.
So you see, one issue, one issue, (which incidently doesn't need solving-I just gave as an example) can be very complicated, can be very complicated, I can of course say - this is MY interpretation of Islam so i am going to do this, but I would also have to accept my husbands interpretation of Islam too, because we are united, and I think you both have to find your way through these things.
Maybe because of the contradictions and different interpretations of religions it makes this issue very hard and I am just giving ONE example, most of us have several going on, like someone else said, its a journey, and sometimes we need the information sooner than it is possible to have!!
I just gave an example from my own experience, I am not wanting to discuss it personally, I do know that many muslim men would not want their wives to work in environments closely with other men (and non muslims actually), so its not about me, or the differences between men that do ro dont, but equality in religion, and the reasons for some of our questioning
Very well said.
Posts: 198 | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic