posted
Black woman, white man: Should race matter in love? With the stigma of interracial marriage faded, why do smart, strong black women still wrestle so emotionally with whether to 'cross over'? By Sandy Banks
October 7, 2011, 8:05 p.m. It's been so long, I can't even remember what the column was about or how I'd drawn the ire of the reader who mailed me in response.
She was — like me — black, middle-aged and middle-class, and she disagreed vehemently with whatever I'd said that week. She threw down the gauntlet with her closing remark: "I can tell; you're one of those women with a white boyfriend."
I was pleased to be able to rally back: "My boyfriend is black." Take that.
But I was also grateful that her challenge hadn't come the year before. Then I would have been guilty as charged, of being one of those women with a white boyfriend.
She'd meant it as an insult, and I recognized that. I recall feeling vaguely ashamed at being so blatantly called out; and relieved that I had reclaimed my place in the sisterhood by landing an acceptable mate.
It wasn't until years later — when that relationship was done and I was surveying the pool of eligible men — that I had to ask myself, what does "one of those women" mean?
And how is it that my romantic choices somehow publicly brand me?
::
I've been thinking about those questions a lot this week, as I accompanied my brother, Stanford professor Rick Banks, talking about a book he's written, "Is Marriage for White People?" to a series of Los Angeles audiences.
The book mixes scholarly studies and women's stories to explain how a national decline in marriage has hit middle-class black women especially hard, leaving us alone and segregated in an increasingly integrated romantic world.
His book raises complicated issues that can't be reduced to shorthand here and has prompted spirited public discussion with its suggestion that black women — the most un-partnered group in America — consider relationships with nonblack men.
What intrigues me is that today, when the stigma of interracial marriage has faded, we are still wrestling so emotionally with this issue — "we" being smart, strong, accomplished black women, who are wary of "crossing over" but tired of going through life alone.
Black women seem to feel bound less by societal strictures now and more by a sense of pain over the heartbreaking circumstances of black men.
But those same circumstances are what help keep middle-class black women single. Among African Americans, two women graduate from college for every man. Black men are twice as likely to marry a woman of another race.
Our first stop this week was an elegant home on a palm-lined street in Baldwin Hills, where a book club meeting was hosted by a woman who had just returned from a 15-day sailing trip through the Greek Isles, on her own. Her guests that night — lawyers, writers, teachers, business owners — were mostly single women with satisfying careers, close friends and more than a passing acquaintance with loneliness.
I heard those women reliving old choices: The white guy in college rebuffed because you didn't trust his motives. The white co-worker who invited you to the symphony and dinner, and you thought he was just being friendly.
When one women recalled a romance with a white law school classmate that ended when he wanted to get serious and she was afraid of what might come next, her book group friends ribbed her. "I didn't know you did that vanilla thing."
The next night at a conference hosted by the USC Center for Law, History and Culture, the conversation was considerably different. A multi-racial audience of students considered such issues as, does marriage subjugate women? Resistance to interracial dating wasn't on their young radar screen.It was standing room only on Thursday night at Eso Won Books, the literary heart of black Los Angeles.
I could sense the need to look beyond dispiriting stats and find an antidote to the isolation of black women rooted in faith, not betrayal, of beleaguered black men.
And I could hear a philosophical divide that was not racial, but generational:
The old folks blaming "spiritual disconnected-ness," "European cultural domination," or the "devastating impact of slavery." The young bridling at the mention of slavery, vibrating in their seats and waving their hands to speak.
"At some point," one woman in her twenties shouted, gesturing toward the man with the 'slavery" comment. "You have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions."
Slavery wasn't the problem, another said: "In high school, they told all of us to go to college. The girls went to college. The boys went to parties."
And now, through a cruel twist of market forces, these young black women see themselves on the sidelines while black men call the relationship shots.
I'm still wondering what pricked me so deeply about that long-ago reader's comment. I tried to gauge from all I heard this week, what kind of black woman has a white boyfriend? Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?
What kind of woman, by refusing to look beyond skin color, cheats herself in service of a painful history? Who loses when we put conditions on an open heart?
It's hard enough to find someone you love without making romance a test of racial solidarity.
posted
^Shiit! not again those article! Hay! It is not only Black females who meet this challenge, have a look at Asian Women. They also face this challenge, BUT NOBODY tells them to marry outside their race! It seems when it comes Black Women, the White Media encourage to marry outside their race, unlike Asian Women. Why? Because it is part of to exterminate the Black Man!
Posts: 2198 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
Ralph Richard Banks is the Jackson Eli Reynolds Professor of Law at Stanford Law School. He is an expert on topics related to race and inequality. His research addresses race and inequality issues across a variety of domains, from criminal justice to employment to the family. He has written and lectured widely in each of these areas. Professor Banks teaches equal protection law, family law, employment discrimination law, and race and the law. He has been a visiting professor at Harvard Law School and the University of Virginia Law School. Before joining the Stanford Law School faculty in 1998, Professor Banks was the Reginald F. Lewis Fellow at Harvard Law School and an attorney with the firm O’Melveny & Myers. He was a law clerk to Judge Barrington D. Parker, Jr. of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. Academic Writings
Ralph Richard Banks, Is Marriage for White People? How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, New York: Dutton, 2011 (forthcoming).
Ralph Richard Banks, The Multiethnic Placement Act and the Troubling Persistence of Race Matching, 38 Capital University Law Review 271 (2009).
Ralph Richard Banks, Why Do So Many People Oppose Same-Sex Marriage?, 5 Stanford Journal of Civil Rights & Civil Liberties 409 (2009).
Ralph Richard Banks and Richard Thompson Ford, (How) Does Unconscious Bias Matter? Law, Politics, and Racial Inequality, 58 Emory Law Journal 1053 (2009). [External link]
Ralph Richard Banks, Beyond Colorblindness: Neo-Racialism and the Future of Race and Law Scholarship, 25 Harvard BlackLetter Law Journal 41 (Spring 2009) [External link].
R. Richard Banks, Beyond Common-sense Understandings of Sex and Race Discrimination, in Beyond Common Sense: Psychological Science in the Courtroom, Eugene Borgida and Susan T. Fiske, eds., Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing, July 2008.
R. Richard Banks, Jennifer L. Eberhardt, and Lee Ross, Race, Crime, and Antidiscrimination, in Beyond Common Sense: Psychological Science in the Courtroom, Eugene Borgida and Susan t. Fiske, eds, Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing, July 2008.
R. Richard Banks, The Aftermath of Loving v. Virginia: Sex Asymmetry in African American Intermarriage, 2007 Wisconsin Law Review 533 (2007).
R. Richard Banks, Jennifer L. Eberhardt and Lee Ross, Discrimination and Implicit Bias in a Racially Unequal Society (Symposium on Behavioral Realism), 94 California Law Review 1169 (2006).
R. Richard Banks and Su Jin Gatlin, African American Intimacy: The Racial Gap in Marriage (Symposium: Going Back to Class? The Reemergence of Class in Critical Race Theory), 11 Michigan Journal of Race & Law 115 (2005).
R. Richard Banks, Pamela S. Karlan, William S. Koski and Jack Greenberg, Brown v. Board of Education: 50 Years Later [Panel discussion], 38 Stanford Lawyer 20-25 (Spring 2004).
R. Richard Banks, The Story of Brown v. City of Oneonta: The Uncertain Meaning of Racially Discriminatory Policing Under the Equal Protection Clause, Stanford Law School Research Paper No. 81 (January 2004). 21 pages.
R. Richard Banks, Racial Profiling and Antiterrorism Efforts, 89 Cornell Law Review 1201-1217 (2004) [External link].
R. Richard Banks, Beyond Profiling: Race, Policing, and the Drug War, 56 Stanford Law Review 571-603 (December 2003).
R. Richard Banks, Benign-Invidious Asymmetry in Equal Protection Analysis, 31 Hastings Constitutional Law Quarterly 573-586 (2003) [External link].
R. Richard Banks, Intimacy and Racial Equality: The Limits of Antidiscrimination. (Book Review: Interracial Intimacies: Sex, Marriage, Identity, and Adoption, by Randall Kennedy), 38 Harvard Civil Rights-Civil Liberties Law Review 455-477 (Summer 2003) [External link].
R. Richard Banks, Race-Based Suspect Selection and Colorblind Equal Protection Doctrine and Discourse, 48 UCLA Law Review 1075-1124 (2001).
R. Richard Banks, Meritocratic Values and Racial Outcomes: Defending Class-Based College Admissions, 79 North Carolina Law Review 1029-1071 (May 2001).
R. Richard Banks, Introduction (Symposium: Border People and Antidiscrimination Law), 17 Harvard BlackLetter Law Journal 23-32 (2001).
R. Richard Banks, A Response to Elizabeth Bartholet, 107 Yale Law Journal 2357-2358 (1998).
R. Richard Banks and Jennifer L. Eberhardt, Social Psychological Processes and the Legal Bases of Racial Categorization, in, Confronting Racism: The Problem and the Response. Jennifer L. Eberhardt and Susan T. Fiske, editors. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 1998. p. 54-75.
R. Richard Banks, The Color of Desire: Fulfilling Adoptive Parents’ Racial Preferences Through Discriminatory State Action, 107 Yale Law Journal 875-964 (1998).
R. Richard Banks, The Political Economy of Racial Discourse. (Book Review: Racial Healing: Confronting the Fear Between Blacks and Whites, by Harlon L. Dalton), 9 Yale Journal of Law and the Humanities 217-144 (1997).
R. Richard Banks, ‘Nondiscriminatory’ Perpetuation of Racial Subordination. (Book Review: Black Wealth/White Wealth: A New Perspective on Racial Inequality by Melvin Oliver and Thomas M. Shapiro), 76 Boston University Law Review 669-701 (1996).
R. Richard Banks, Toward an Understanding of Black Identity. (Book Review: Lure and Loathing: Essays on Race, Identity, and the Ambivalance of Assimilation, by Gerald Early), 11 Harvard BlackLetter Law Journal 215-220 (1994).
Back Flap In this masterful book, Banks explains:--Why black women lead the most segregated intimate lives of any Americans.
--How technological change and the global labor market leave black men worse off and black women better off.
--Why the suggestion by Bill Cosby and President Obama that black men do not care about their children is wrong.
--How the economic struggles of working class black men lower the marriage rate of affluent black men.
--Why more interracial marriage by black women might prompt more black men and women to marry each other.
_________________________________________
POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE REVIEWS;
POSITIVE:
The sourse material is King. The numbers do not lie., September 5, 2011 By B. G. Young Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone (Hardcover) This work is an excellent analysis of the current state of Black marriage in the U S. This book will make many people uncomfortable. No doubt there will be a number of "experts" who will attempt to do all they can to refute the hard facts presented in this book. Try as these "experts" may the fact of the matter is that the numbers do not lie. There are more Black Women who are marriage ready than there are Black men. Black Women know this. They now have the actual numbers to back up their suspicions.
There will be the expected attempts to "circle the wagons" by opinion makers in the Black Community in an effort to protect Black Males and the Black Community from scrutiny. However Dr. Banks book is full of supporting documentation, the studies and surveys, that back up the points he is making. This is a good thing since there is so much misinformation in the media and online re. the marriage prospects for Black Women. The reader can access the same source information the author did and read for themselves forming their own opinion.
Much has been made of the author's suggestion that Black Women should out marry in order to level the marriage playing field. For a slowly growing subset of Black women this will indeed be a viable option. For these women this book will be like preaching to the choir but for too many others I am afraid the information found it this book will fall on deaf ears. My guess is that the majority of Black Women will continue the ineffective interventions that they are currently using to endure their marriage less state. They will continue forming informal harems for the few marriage ready Black men hoping they will win the marriage lottery when this man gets good and ready to anoint one of them wife. These wives in waiting will continue to self medicate with their forks in an effort to ease the loneliness of their lives and will fill church pews every Sunday as they are instructed to be patient and wait, wait and continue to wait. Your prayers will eventually be answered. Yes, eventually when some brother in need of a little "dusting off" presents himself to your care and rehabilitation. Something to look forward to.
NEGATIVE:
Not worth the paper it's printed on, September 28, 2011 By God's Child (Chicago) - See all my reviews This review is from: Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone (Hardcover) This is one of the more foolish titles I have ever heard of! First off, why is marriage so upheld as the thing to do, when 70% - 80% of them end in divorce and many of the other 20% to 30% are unhappy?! This book insinuates that white men are somehow "better" at marriage than black men, and that is a dangerous sentiment to offer, especially when it is coming from an "educated" black man. To suggest that black women going after white men en masse is the answer is ludicrous and unrealistic as well. Have we forgotten the last 5 centuries somehow, and do we not understand the BIG PICTURE of what is going on in the world right now? Black people EVERYWHERE are still suffering from LONGSTANDING white male racist political/economic/ecclesiastical/systemic oppression and suppression, and all you house negroes can come up with to address our issues is "abandon black, get with white"???????!!!!!!! What a cheap, easy, cowardly sellout route to ATTEMPT to take! From Slavery to white African continental conquest to the Civil War to Jim Crow to the Civil Rights Movement to discriminatory inequality existing EVERYWHERE, in every arena of power, and THIS is our "answer" to the problem???! I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to understand clearly WHY Europeans CHOSE blacks to be their longstanding slaves and servants and underclass; it's because they knew, through observing us, that MANY of us would be "manageable" even under severe racist oppression and even more of us would accept it and not be too upset by it and would STILL seek to be over-accepted into white society/family/culture, because we blacks STILL have so much love for them, REGARDLESS. This book surely shows that to be true. It's almost like an individual deer choosing to run with the lions, if they would accept him on a PERSONAL/INDIVIDUAL basis, despite however many other deer they kill and feast upon on a regular basis. Which would indeed be truly SAD, and this book is just as SAD as that.
Posts: 42930 | From: , | Registered: Jan 2010
| IP: Logged |
Q: You raise a lot of controversial issues pertaining to Black relationships, one being the issue of “marrying down.” Was this issue something you were aware of before writing this book? A: I started with a lot of academic research: studies, data and statistics. Then after I started interviewing people, and talking to them about their lives, the interviews completely changed the book and transformed it. I didn’t realize that issues like “marrying down” or having biracial children were that significant to Black women. A lot of the things I discuss in the book were a discovery for me that I learned by talking to people about their lives.
Q: When you say “marrying down” what exactly do you mean? A: It’s basically when professional, college educated women are married to working class men. So, it’s a woman who is more educated or earns more than her husband.
Q: So are you suggesting that accomplished women marry a man based on him being on or above her level financially and or educationally? A: A relationship is about love, but it’s also about a whole lot of other stuff too. I think it’s naive to think that a woman who marries a man who can’t hold a job, or maybe even if he’s abusive or on drugs, the fact that they may love each other is not going to keep them together. The story in the book is that we encourage Black women to stop putting too much emphasis on race and not enough emphasis on class. Don’t assume you’ll have more in common with a guy just because he’s Black, then you would with the guy you sat next to in history class during college who may be Asian-American.
Posts: 42930 | From: , | Registered: Jan 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
Please iyah....smh...mi wuda dead before mi wuda date and/or f*ck a yte man much less marry one...
Dem haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate fe see di strength of Black Love and Black Unity!
-------------------- "TRUTH IS LIKE LIGHTNING WITH ITS ERRAND DONE BEFORE YOU HEAR THE THUNDER" - Gerald Massey "TRUTH IS FINAL" -Mumia Abu-Jamal Posts: 3446 | From: U.S. by way of JA by way of Africa | Registered: Jan 2010
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by TruthAndRights: Please iyah....smh...mi wuda dead before mi wuda date and/or f*ck a yte man much less marry one...
Dem haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate fe see di strength of Black Love and Black Unity!
That's ok because I don't think the average white man would want you to begin with. White men aren't particularly turned on by black women. Especially one that is over 40. Posts: 527 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by TruthAndRights: Please iyah....smh...mi wuda dead before mi wuda date and/or f*ck a yte man much less marry one...
Dem haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate fe see di strength of Black Love and Black Unity!
That's ok because I don't think the average white man would want you to begin with. White men aren't particularly turned on by black women. Especially one that is over 40.
Lying daughter of serial rapists. Do you know how many black women your fathers raped for 400 years before black people finally stopped them doing that with the Black-power movement?
How many were raped by your Uncles during the Jim Crow days?
And finally, how many black men have you sucked you bleediing hoe?
Posts: 7419 | From: North America | Registered: Mar 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by TruthAndRights: Please iyah....smh...mi wuda dead before mi wuda date and/or f*ck a yte man much less marry one...
Dem haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate fe see di strength of Black Love and Black Unity!
That's ok because I don't think the average white man would want you to begin with. White men aren't particularly turned on by black women. Especially one that is over 40.
Lying daughter of serial rapists. Do you know how many black women your fathers raped for 400 years before black people finally stopped them doing that with the Black-power movement?
How many were raped by your Uncles during the Jim Crow days?
It still doesn't change the fact that for the most part white men don't want black women. Sure there's a few white men that will be with anything. But most white men are not turned on by black women. Most of the white boys that went to my school would never date a black girl. It's not just my opinion, it's a fact. Get over it.
Posts: 527 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
reason why most white men dont dig black chicks is because white men prefer svelte built women. Black women, by and large, have a hefty build. Also there is the hair and oily skin issue. Black women's hair on both head and pussy is too coarse to the touch. White men like their women soft to the touch. And the skin is too oily which makes the flesh pungeant when sweaty, especially in the vagina.
As an alternative to white women, white men have sought after the Asian female.
Posts: 816 | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged |
quote:reason why most white men dont dig black chicks is because white men prefer svelte built women. Black women, by and large, have a hefty build. An alternative to white women that white men have sought after is the Asian female.
You should know you are into white-menz
Posts: 6546 | From: japan | Registered: Feb 2009
| IP: Logged |
Black women's hair on both head and pussy is too coarse to the touch. White men like their women soft to the touch. And the skin is too oily which makes the flesh pungeant when sweaty, especially in the vagina.
Wondering minds inquire about how you know this.
Has it occurred as a possibility, that the reason it *seems* that 'white men' don't seek "black women", is because of the perception by the former that the latter is harder to get?
Posts: 7516 | From: Somewhere on Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by TruthAndRights: Please iyah....smh...mi wuda dead before mi wuda date and/or f*ck a yte man much less marry one...
Dem haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate fe see di strength of Black Love and Black Unity!
That's ok because I don't think the average white man would want you to begin with. White men aren't particularly turned on by black women. Especially one that is over 40.
Lying daughter of serial rapists. Do you know how many black women your fathers raped for 400 years before black people finally stopped them doing that with the Black-power movement?
How many were raped by your Uncles during the Jim Crow days?
It still doesn't change the fact that for the most part white men don't want black women. Sure there's a few white men that will be with anything. But most white men are not turned on by black women. Most of the white boys that went to my school would never date a black girl. It's not just my opinion, it's a fact. Get over it.
Pink ho,
How many blackmen have fuched you and passed you on, since you left high school? Be honest! Posts: 7419 | From: North America | Registered: Mar 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
Nonsense. Why don't you ask 20 white men "why don't you date Black women?" 9 out of 10xs, they will tell you the following- hair, physical build and attitude are turn-offs.
White men for the most part don't consider marriage to a Black women as an alternative to white women. The only time they pursue black women is for an elicit, kinky affair, i.e., seeking the service of a [black] prostitute to experience a fetish.
White men go for the Asian women as an alternative because, firstly, they like their women petite. Second, they prefer docile women and, lastly, the hair issue; White man are attracted to long, flowing hair. White men like to run their fingers through a woman's hair. You cannot do this with Black women's hair.
quote:Originally posted by The Explorer:
quote:Originally posted by blaccentric bull:
Black women's hair on both head and pussy is too coarse to the touch. White men like their women soft to the touch. And the skin is too oily which makes the flesh pungeant when sweaty, especially in the vagina.
Wondering minds inquire about how you know this.
Has it occurred as a possibility, that the reason it *seems* that 'white men' don't seek "black women", is because of the perception by the former that the latter is harder to get?
quote:Originally posted by blaccentric bull: Nonsense. Why don't you ask 20 white men "why don't you date Black women?" 9 out of 10xs, they will tell you the following- hair, physical build and attitude are turn-offs.
Why should I ask them, when you, their ambassador to the world, can give us your worldwide polling of 'white males' on why they don't *supposedly* seek 'black women'...not to say that the latter actively seeks them in any case?
quote:White men for the most part don't consider marriage to a Black women as an alternative to white women.
You are merely fighting against your own words here, my friend.
This is what I asked of you:
Wondering minds inquire about how you know this.
When you made this odd comment:
Black women's hair on both head and pussy is too coarse to the touch. White men like their women soft to the touch. And the skin is too oily which makes the flesh pungeant when sweaty, especially in the vagina.
And offered this:
Has it occurred as a possibility, that the reason it *seems* that 'white men' don't seek "black women", is because of the perception by the former that the latter is harder to get?
Care to react to my query with reading this time, and not emotion?
Posts: 7516 | From: Somewhere on Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by TruthAndRights: Please iyah....smh...mi wuda dead before mi wuda date and/or f*ck a yte man much less marry one...
Dem haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate fe see di strength of Black Love and Black Unity!
That's ok because I don't think the average white man would want you to begin with. White men aren't particularly turned on by black women. Especially one that is over 40.
Lying daughter of serial rapists. Do you know how many black women your fathers raped for 400 years before black people finally stopped them doing that with the Black-power movement?
How many were raped by your Uncles during the Jim Crow days?
It still doesn't change the fact that for the most part white men don't want black women. Sure there's a few white men that will be with anything. But most white men are not turned on by black women. Most of the white boys that went to my school would never date a black girl. It's not just my opinion, it's a fact. Get over it.
Pink ho,
How many blackmen have fuched you and passed you on, since you left high school? Be honest!
Right and what Simpleton Gyal no real-eyes is that while I'm a few years past 40 I NATURALLY look in my early 30s
No shortage of yte men over di years ah pree mi and waa date mi but...nah! smh! .
MI SEH:
.
.
Salt-Hole Gyal...fyi lol one ting I am not is a tuff-face cement-body female! Far fram it! lmbao
Posts: 3446 | From: U.S. by way of JA by way of Africa | Registered: Jan 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
I was not addressing why Black women don't seek out White men, but if I must then so be it - Black women believe that they cannot hold up to the beauty standards of white men. This is why there is this perception by black women that White men are unattainable. This perception is with merit.
quote:Originally posted by The Explorer:
quote:Originally posted by blaccentric bull: Nonsense. Why don't you ask 20 white men "why don't you date Black women?" 9 out of 10xs, they will tell you the following- hair, physical build and attitude are turn-offs.
Why should I ask them, when you, their ambassador to the world, can give us your worldwide polling of 'white males' on why they don't *supposedly* seek 'black women'...not to say that the latter actively seeks them in any case?
quote:White men for the most part don't consider marriage to a Black women as an alternative to white women.
You are merely fighting against your own words here, my friend.
This is what I asked of you:
Wondering minds inquire about how you know this.
When you made this odd comment:
Black women's hair on both head and pussy is too coarse to the touch. White men like their women soft to the touch. And the skin is too oily which makes the flesh pungeant when sweaty, especially in the vagina.
And offered this:
Has it occurred as a possibility, that the reason it *seems* that 'white men' don't seek "black women", is because of the perception by the former that the latter is harder to get?
Care to react to my query with reading this time, and not emotion?
When was the last time you felt the warm scalp of a woman Run your fingers through her hair Twisted her natural locks through your fingers Or walked your fingers through the rows of braids Just like walking through fields of corn
When did you see the true beauty of your African Woman? Or saw a flawless dark skin? Or kissed her natural plump lips?
From the days of slavery black women were told “You gotta have hair like “Massa” , Don't want no nappy haired black as sin gal in the house” The beautiful black women were kept in the cotton fields While those that had lighter skin, The products of the slave masters were kept as house slaves If your hair was long and straight, without a natural crinkle it was your bonus, a passport to heaven, a ticket to the illusion of freedom
Now, I hardly see an original black woman They all seem to have become Chinese, Indian and European Flicking about hair that is not their own That may be from a horse, a yak or plastic factory Afraid to show their natural beauty Afraid because their men have been conditioned to think that a perfect woman has straight hair and fair skin Afraid because their sisters would laugh and tease them for their tight curls
Wake up! Have you ever really looked at the beauty of a black woman, all natural and dark? They way her teeth and eyes sparkle in contrast to her skin The way her hair feels soft like the ends of an ear of corn Or woolly like that of a new born lamb Twisting and curling itself through your fingers True feelings exploding through the shaft of natural hair
Men! Treat a natural woman with respect Women! rise up for the natural woman who dared For her inner strength and inner pride have made her able to go against the norm To show her true self Just the way God made her----------------- Perfect A beautiful black woman
Posts: 3446 | From: U.S. by way of JA by way of Africa | Registered: Jan 2010
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by blaccentric bull: I was not addressing why Black women don't seek out White men, but if I must then so be it - Black women believe that they cannot hold up to the beauty standards of white men. This is why there is this perception by black women that White men are unattainable. This perception is with merit.
You are still reacting to my post with sheer emotion, and not reading it. Or maybe I figured you wrong, and that English is not your primary language?
If not, go ahead and read my post, and reply it.
Posts: 7516 | From: Somewhere on Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
^I understood your question. This is what you asked -
"Has it occurred as a possibility, that the reason it *seems* that 'white men' don't seek "black women", is because of the perception by the former that the latter is harder to get?"
And my response still stands. There are three perceptions that dominate with White men in respect to Black women - nappy hair, built like a man, and attitude. It is the attitude that would turn off a white man attracted to Black women from pursuing her. Otherwise, in general, White men are not attracted to Black women. Do not take this as some insult to Black women. It is just that non-black men are not attracted to those features.
Posts: 816 | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged |
posted
^My response again, and hopefully it should clear up any confusion -
And my response still stands. There are three perceptions that dominate with White men in respect to Black women - nappy hair, built like a man, and attitude. It is the attitude that would turn off a white man attracted to Black women from pursuing her. Otherwise, in general, White men are not attracted to Black women. Do not take this as some insult to Black women. It is just that non-black men are not attracted to those features.
Posts: 816 | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged |
posted
You are not responding to me, if you are not tackling precisely what I was questioning you about. You are therefore only confusing yourself further.
-------------------- The Complete Picture of the Past tells Us what Not to Repeat Posts: 7516 | From: Somewhere on Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
^Your question was responded to, accordingly. What you seek now is to deflect attention from a response that has shattered your reality. I'm sorry if all along you thought that white men desired black women. The reality is, they don't (most on the forum will concede to this). But an underlying issue with your stance in this topic that needs to be addressed is why is it a grave thing for you to know that white men find black women attractive?
Posts: 816 | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged |
posted
Look here, the main question was directed at how you became qualified to speak about Black women's "vagina", if you are NOT supposed to have experienced even getting close to one. To be able to feel "hair on the pussy", your words, you'd have to have the experience of feeling one for yourself, instead of extrapolating from just looking at someone's hair from a distance.
Then, you responded to my query about considering the possibility that it may *seem* like 'white' guys don't seek 'Black women", because of the *perception* by "white guys" that the "black women" are harder to get, with this:
I was not addressing why Black women don't seek out White men, but if I must then so be it
You confused the query to broaden your assumptive suppositions with the above possibility, to mean that I'm asking you why "black women" don't seek "white guys".
Your comment about what supposedly discouraged "white guys" from seeking "black women" was already responded to by me, above. Take another look.
Remember the deal about "polling"?
As a matter of fact, the OP of this thread serves to reinforce precisely what I've been urging you to broaden your consideration, i.e. with a question, as it relates to the possibility that lies beneath this *seeming* conscious decision of "white guys" not to seek "black women". The article is about "black women" not particularly proactive or enthusiastic about dating or seeking "white guys".
This may be the factor giving rise to the reciprocal reaction of maintaining distance...because of presumptive perception of rejection.
Posts: 7516 | From: Somewhere on Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by blaccentric bull: ^Your question was responded to, accordingly. What you seek now is to deflect attention from a response that has shattered your reality. I'm sorry if all along you thought that white men desired black women. The reality is, they don't (most on the forum will concede to this). But an underlying issue with your stance in this topic that needs to be addressed is why is it a grave thing for you to know that white men find black women attractive?
Constipated albino cagot! You are suffering the sour grapes syndrome. No girl, pink, yellow or brown would want your psoraisis infested ass anyway.
BTW, who is the most beautiful girl in the Universe? As determined by Pink-white judges:
Posts: 7419 | From: North America | Registered: Mar 2009
| IP: Logged |
BTW, who is the most beautiful girl in the Universe? As determined by Pink-white judges:
[/QB]
She has White European (Portugese) ancestry, this was revealed in the other thread. She's not a pureblooded Negroid.
Pure-blooded Negroids look like this -
Blacks however hate these features - wooly hair, wide noses etc. The only black females they like are those with white genes, and so are mixed race which gives them the straight hair and thin noses.
Posts: 2408 | From: My mother's basement | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
BTW, who is the most beautiful girl in the Universe? As determined by Pink-white judges:
She has White European (Portugese) ancestry, this was revealed in the other thread. She's not a pureblooded Negroid.
Pure-blooded Negroids look like this -
Blacks however hate these features - wooly hair, wide noses etc. The only black females they like are those with white genes, and so are mixed race which gives them the straight hair and thin noses. [/QB]
Pure blood caucasiod..
Mixed race caucasiod.
Whites obviously hate their features, which is why they do this-
Angelina Jolie is not mixed race. She is fully Caucasoid.
The claim her mother is 1/8 or 1/16 Amerindian (Iroquois) according to both her mother and father was a publicity stunt.
In America it is a trend among White Americans to claim to have a 'little Amerindian blood' (when they don't). I've never worked out why.
I would also point out resorting to spam thread of woman is pointless as everyone knows blacks are nowhere near as attractive as white woman.
Posts: 2408 | From: My mother's basement | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
Angelina Jolie is not mixed race. She is fully Caucasoid.
The claim her mother is 1/8 or 1/16 Amerindian (Iroquois) according to both her mother and father was a publicity stunt.
In America it is a trend among White Americans to claim to have a 'little Amerindian blood' (when they don't). I've never worked out why.
I would also point out resorting to spam thread of woman is pointless as everyone knows blacks are nowhere near as attractive as white woman.
LOL uhh Angelina is not full blood Caucasoid neither does she have a look of a full blood caucasiod hence her unique look, she is mixed with Amerindian just like alot of socalled white Americans who aren't really white, she is no different from Johnny Depp...
PS. White women are ugly as hell both males and females and blks look better than whites no matter wherever they are in the continent they could be from Nigeria or Somali and they will still look better than you.
Posts: 90 | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Sahel (Siptah): No she is not. She is clearly mixed.
Would you like to point out what is mixed about her? She has no mixed-race features.
Here is her 'double' stand-in actor, Tiffany Claus -
Tiffany Claus is a German-Russian. [/QB]
Uhh its well known that Russia has been invaded plenty of times from those from the East, so most Russians are mixed race which is why they have that look, the purest caucasiods are those found in western Europe and even they aren't pure but they are the most pure from other caucasiods, not only that Angelinas look is no different from Megan Fox who is also mixed with Amerindian.
BTW, who is the most beautiful girl in the Universe? As determined by Pink-white judges:
She has White European (Portugese) ancestry, this was revealed in the other thread. She's not a pureblooded Negroid.
Pure-blooded Negroids look like this -
Blacks however hate these features - wooly hair, wide noses etc. The only black females they like are those with white genes, and so are mixed race which gives them the straight hair and thin noses. [/QB]
I truly pity your retardedness. When you have been shown otherwise from different sciences. And have been asked numerous times...what's the haplo type of the African woman you keep posting as the "true negroe",, and from what region is she? What is her tribal background.
Second you have people here who are from several parts of Africa and those who are African descendant and all disagree with your retareded white arse. This should tell something. We don't give a damn what you think.
And nothing has been revealed, it was purely an assumsion as ussually.
Posts: 22235 | From: האם אינכם כילדי הכרית אלי בני ישראל | Registered: Nov 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
Nature, hormones, the biological clock clicking away, cold winter nights, sheer loneliness, a need for a provider; it's not everyone to have the luxury to go and pick and choose a perfect maid. What is a perfect partner anyway? There is a need to be married, and people choose among their peers. Some who first chose among their own kind, got burned, and became allergic to men of their own group. If eyes meet and nobody turns his gaze away, why not give at a whirl? I have noticed middle class people all over the world have really very similar lifestyles, values, interests, social targets etc. But marriages have to do both with sex and providing food and shelter. I remember the whole supermarket staring at a foxy, young African woman, holding hands with a rather super-old, shaky white gentleman, and she was not his nurse or something. In Surinam one meets and hears about elderly Dutch men who find young love in the interior, and having a second litter, and being happy with a much younger beauty. They also have Euro's and everybody seems quite happy. Like what Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) says in Liaison Dangereuse: 'When it comes to marriage, one husband is as good as the next one.'
Posts: 5454 | From: Holland | Registered: Aug 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by blaccentric bull: reason why most white men dont dig black chicks is because white men prefer svelte built women. Black women, by and large, have a hefty build. Also there is the hair and oily skin issue. Black women's hair on both head and pussy is too coarse to the touch. White men like their women soft to the touch. And the skin is too oily which makes the flesh pungeant when sweaty, especially in the vagina.
As an alternative to white women, white men have sought after the Asian female.
^Are you a black male. You sound familiar.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
and what Simpleton Gyal no real-eyes is that while I'm a few years past 40 I NATURALLY look in my early 30s 
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic