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WASHINGTON—A group of leading historians held a press conference Monday at the National Geographic Society to announce they had "entirely fabricated" ancient Greece, a culture long thought to be the intellectual basis of Western civilization.
The group acknowledged that the idea of a sophisticated, flourishing society existing in Greece more than two millennia ago was a complete fiction created by a team of some two dozen historians, anthropologists, and classicists who worked nonstop between 1971 and 1974 to forge "Greek" documents and artifacts.
"Honestly, we never meant for things to go this far," said Professor Gene Haddlebury, who has offered to resign his position as chair of Hellenic Studies at Georgetown University. "We were young and trying to advance our careers, so we just started making things up: Homer, Aristotle, Socrates, Hippocrates, the lever and fulcrum, rhetoric, ethics, all the different kinds of columns—everything."
Enlarge ImageJust one of the "ancient" artifacts dreamed up in a basement in Somerville, MA.
"Way more stuff than any one civilization could have come up with, obviously," he added.
According to Haddlebury, the idea of inventing a wholly fraudulent ancient culture came about when he and other scholars realized they had no idea what had actually happened in Europe during the 800-year period before the Christian era.
Frustrated by the gap in the record, and finding archaeologists to be "not much help at all," they took the problem to colleagues who were then scrambling to find a way to explain where things such as astronomy, cartography, and democracy had come from.
Within hours the greatest and most influential civilization of all time was born.
"One night someone made a joke about just taking all these ideas, lumping them together, and saying the Greeks had done it all 2,000 years ago," Haddlebury said. "One thing led to another, and before you know it, we're coming up with everything from the golden ratio to the Iliad."
"That was a bitch to write, by the way," he continued, referring to the epic poem believed to have laid the foundation for the Western literary tradition. "But it seemed to catch on."
Around the same time, a curator at the Smithsonian reportedly asked for Haddlebury's help: The museum had received a sizeable donation to create an exhibit on the ancient world but "really didn't have a whole lot to put in there." The historians immediately set to work, hastily falsifying evidence of a civilization that— complete with its own poets and philosophers, gods and heroes—would eventually become the centerpiece of schoolbooks, college educations, and the entire field of the humanities.
Emily Nguyen-Whiteman, one of the young academics who "pulled a month's worth of all-nighters" working on the project, explained that the whole of ancient Greek architecture was based on buildings in Washington, D.C., including a bank across the street from the coffee shop where they met to "bat around ideas about mythology or whatever."
"We picked Greece because we figured nobody would ever go there to check it out," Nguyen-Whiteman said. "Have you ever seen the place? It's a dump. It's like an abandoned gravel pit infested with cats."
She added, "Inevitably, though, people started looking around for some of this 'ancient' stuff, and next thing I know I'm stuck in Athens all summer building a goddamn Parthenon just to cover our tracks."
Nguyen-Whiteman acknowledged she was also tasked with altering documents ranging from early Bibles to the writings of Thomas Jefferson to reflect a "Classical Greek" influence—a task that also included the creation, from scratch, of a language based on modern Greek that could pass as its ancient precursor.
Historians told reporters that some of the so-called Greek ideas were in fact borrowed from the Romans, stripped to their fundamentals, and then attributed to fictional Greek predecessors. But others they claimed as their own.
"Geometry? That was all Kevin," said Haddlebury, referring to former graduate student Kevin Davenport. "Man, that kid was on fire in those days. They teach Davenportian geometry in high schools now, though of course they call it Euclidean."
Sources confirmed that long hours and lack of sleep took their toll on Davenport, and after the lukewarm reception of his work on homoeroticism in Spartan military, he left the group.
In a statement expressing their "profound apologies" for misleading the world on the subject of antiquity for almost 40 years, the historians expressed hope that their work would survive on its own merits.
"It would be a shame to see humanity abandon achievements such as heliocentrism and the plays of Aeschylus just because of their origin," the statement read in part. "Moreover, we have some rather disappointing things to tell you about the pyramids, the works of Leonardo da Vinci, penicillin, the Internet, the scientific method, movies, and dogs."
Blacks are putting pressure on them to explain their lies, so what do they do? Sarcastically declare it all to be a lie - even things that we know to be TRUE!
Their hope is that this tactic will deter questions on specific lies, because they will say, well we just admitted that it's all a lie - wink, wink.
Sorry Albino boys, try that sh1t with Negroes only, Blacks will make you eat your bullsh1t.
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Mike, you stupid White people hating Black racist Black supremacist, history stealing, lying moron you ARE the biggest liar of them all.
Posts: 3257 | From: Madisonville, KY USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Awwww is poor lil Mikey mad because I called him what he is LOL. I don't want a mule anyhow I hate the ugly stubborn things. Mikey boy I think I've explained it before, I'm not A Bitch, I'm THE Bitch & to you I'm MS. Bitch LOL. BTW, What exactly have you done that I should be grateful for anyhow White people hater?
Posts: 3257 | From: Madisonville, KY USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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QUOTE]Originally posted by naturalborn7: WASHINGTON—A group of leading historians held a press conference Monday at the National Geographic Society to announce they had "entirely fabricated" ancient Greece, a culture long thought to be the intellectual basis of Western civilization.
The group acknowledged that the idea of a sophisticated, flourishing society existing in Greece more than two millennia ago was a complete fiction created by a team of some two dozen historians, anthropologists, and classicists who worked nonstop between 1971 and 1974 to forge "Greek" documents and artifacts.
"Honestly, we never meant for things to go this far," said Professor Gene Haddlebury, who has offered to resign his position as chair of Hellenic Studies at Georgetown University. "We were young and trying to advance our careers, so we just started making things up: Homer, Aristotle, Socrates, Hippocrates, the lever and fulcrum, rhetoric, ethics, all the different kinds of columns—everything."
Enlarge ImageJust one of the "ancient" artifacts dreamed up in a basement in Somerville, MA.
"Way more stuff than any one civilization could have come up with, obviously," he added.
According to Haddlebury, the idea of inventing a wholly fraudulent ancient culture came about when he and other scholars realized they had no idea what had actually happened in Europe during the 800-year period before the Christian era. .......
Sure its a parody, but the fact is that in certain aspects, ancient Greece HAS been fabricated in the modern era. Hollywood for example, does it all the time. In the movie "300 Spartans" Hollywood pushed the ludicrous notion at the end of a fight between Greek "rationality" and Persian "superstition." But this "contrast" is bogus. The Greeks themselves were highly "superstitious." A small minority of Greek thinkers did pursue avenues of reason and developed certain frameworks to articulate their notions that have come down to the modern West, but to pitch this as the epitomy of "rationalism" versus everyone else's "superstition" is precisely the type of fabrication that is too often embraced.
Let's look at Greek "rationality" in just one area- medicine.
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Quote: "Drugs were applied not because of a belief that they had natural healing properties, but following the tenets of primitive medicine, because they had magical powers. he Greek word pharmakon, usually translated as "drug: originally designated a substance with magic powers. These powers, however, did not need to be therapeutic, (a pharmakon could be a poison or could turn humans into animals) but were originally considered to me magic..
Supernaturalistic medicine is characterized by a multiplicity of powers that can heal and kill. Primitive Greek medicine was no exception and many Greek gods had healing functions: Apollo, the first deity invoked in the Hippocratic oath; Vulcan, worshipped in Lemnos, gave his healing powers to terra lemmnia, Juno, Jupiter's wife assisted women in childbirth.. In addition some of the gods could cause sudden death: for example, both Apollo and Diana could shoot lethal darts at humans.." (--A history of medicine by Plinio Priorescho 2004)
The medical studies of the ancient Egyptians, Chinese and Babylonians show skill and insight every bit as great as that of the Greeks. The studies of Hippocrates were impressive to be sure and deserving of credit, but similar systematic observation can be found in Chinese and Near Eastern medical treatises. Hippocrates receives much press, but as a WHOLE, most Greek medicine was roughly based on the same natural balance of force concepts- the "humors" - as that found among other contemporaneous peoples.
In addition to all the Greek gods were assorted heroes and demigods with a piece of the medicinal action. Orpheus was a bard, seer but also physician, while Dioscuri, Castor and Pollux, the twin sons of Jupiter and Leda (a mortal girl raped by Jupiter/Zeus) came to the rescue of those in danger on the battlefield, on the high seas or sick. Their cult was widespread in Roman times and continued into the Christian era. The Centaur Chiron was considered a founder of medicine and a discovered of the medicinal properties so herbs. This however did not save him from being killed by Hercules via a poisoned arrow for which his "erb" had no answer. He was later transformed into the constellation Sagittarius for his troubles by a generous Jupiter.
Persian "superstition" versus Greek "rationality". Notice how they lay the gay subtext on the Persian, as if to draw a contrast to the "macho" Spartans, when in fact the Greeks were fulsome embracers of homosexuality, and the Spartans excelled not only at the front but the rear as well- gay sex was an integral part of their military training and culture. But of course, that never made the silver screen in "300."
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But it is not only liberal Hollywood. On the conservative side, there is fabrication as well, as would be boosters of "classical values" tout allegedly superior Greek "morality" versus the "debased cultures" of others. It makes great propaganda but is wholly divorced from actual reality. The Greeks were among the most "immoral" cultures in history. For example they embraced pederasty- men having sex with male children, as a format of "education" among their highest societal ideals. And the Greek deities offer insight into their "morality." Gods and goddesses slept with man, woman, child and beast. Mighty Zeus for example kidnapped the youth Ganymede, sodomized him, and then generously, offered payment to his father for the act.
Are the above negative examples the sum total of the ancient Greeks? Not at all. Is there much context, qualification, etc etc that must be considered? Sure. But said examples are offered as a counterpoint to the convenient fabrications too often proffered on the Greeks as if they were somehow sterling "role models" of goodness, light, rationality and morality. The actual facts offer a much less flattering reality.
Posts: 5905 | From: The Hammer | Registered: Aug 2008
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Thus, while all ancient societies kept slaves and viewed slavery as a natural, unexceptional practice, only the Greeks made slavery an object of thought. This thinking could lead to a theoretical justification of slavery, as in Aristotle's view of the "natural" slave, the person who by a deficiency of rational self-control could be justly owned and controlled by another. But thinking critically about slavery could also lead to questioning the justice of such an institution, as the early 4th century BC rhetorician Alcidamas did when he said, "The god gave freedom to all men, and nature created no one a slave."
All well and good, but if there was all this so-called “critical thinking” about slavery, it did not lead the Greeks to abolish slavery. To the contrary, they embraced slavery and even the mighty Spartans kept the bulk of their population the helots, in semi-slavery. The author is overstating his case. He says: “all ancient societies kept slaves and viewed slavery as a natural, unexceptional practice..” Sure, but so did the Greeks. An obscure rhetorician saying men should be free means little. What counts is actual practice on the ground. In this, the Greeks are nothing special. They embraced slavery. Trying to make them out as ancient “abolitionists” by insinuation is a dubious exercise.
Or consider war. All ancient peoples made war on their neighbors, competing violently for territory and wealth and honor. So too the Greeks. But to an extent unthinkable for any other ancient people, they thought and wrote about war analytically, so to speak, pondering its meaning and consequences, its complexities and horrors. Nowhere else in the ancient world can one find a work of literature like Aeschylus's Persians, about the Battle of Salamis in 480 BC, when the mighty Persian invading armada was destroyed by the coalition of Greek city-states. Although performed a mere eight years later in the very city, Athens, burned by the invaders, in front of an audience of veterans and those who had lost friends and family, the play sympathetically depicts the effects of the defeat on the Persians.
Again, the case is overstated. The Greeks thought and wrote about war “analytically” but so did numerous other peoples, like the Chinese Sun Tsu, or the Byzantine generals in their military treatises. The author is creating a false Eurocentric standard- that in essence says- if other peoples did not frame their writings like the Greeks, then they were not “really” engaging in “critical thought” or “critical thinking. This is what he is insinuating and it is baloney.
Not only could the Greeks be generous to an enemy, but they could examine critically their own wartime behavior. During the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta, Euripides produced plays that sympathetically portrayed the disastrous effects of Athenian policies, and laid bare the suffering, moral corruption, and dehumanizing passions unleashed by war. A mere nine months after the Athenians massacred the males of the Greek island Melos and enslaved the women and children, Euripides staged The Trojan Women (415 BC). In that play he used the brutal aftermath of the mythic Trojan War and the suffering of the surviving women to comment on recent Athenian behavior
^All well and good, but how is this any different fundamentally from Chinese texts critically examining wartime behavior, or bewailing the disasters wrought by Mongol or other “Barbarian” invasions? How is it fundamentally different from the themes on war seen in Ancient Egyptian literature or the numerous stories, dialogs, themes and discourses, etc seen therein? They covered irony, lament, and a host of other thing, as well as all the classic questions of life and death in religious writings. Again, the Greeks are nothing special fundamentally on these matters. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Egyptian_literature
. The princess Cassandra movingly describes this price of war—the sons never returning home, the children left orphaned, the wives bereft of protection and support—and with bitter irony finishes, "For such success as this congratulate the Greeks." How could any Athenian in the audience not think of the Melian wives and children they had sold into slavery less than a year earlier?
Again, all well and good, but if the Greeks were so concerned about slavery why did they continue slavery unabated throughout their “golden age”?
In fact as one historian notes- the Greeks more than liked slavery particularly if OTHER people could be enslaved. Far from being proto “abolitionists” the Greeks had a clear sense of racial or ethnic superiority that explicitly justified the enslavement of other peoples. Quote: "there was a widespread belief, probably originating in the years following the defeat of the Persian expeditionary force in the years 280-479 that Asiatic races in particularly (but also more northerly peoples like the Thracians and the Scythians) were intellectually and morally inferior to Greeks and ideally suited to slavery." -- J. Dillon 2004. Morality and custom in ancient Greece
According to passages within the Hippocratic treatise, ( Air, Water, Places, a Greek 5th century work: ”The small variations of climate to which the Asiatics are subject, extremes both of heart and cold being avoided, account for mental flabbiness and cowardice as well. They are less warlike than and tamer of spirit, for they are not subject to those physical changes and the mental stimulation which sharpens, tempers and induces recklessness.. Instead they live under unvarying conditions." -- Dillon 2004).
Such a statement is similar to the racist statements by not only 18, or 19th century Aryanists, but 20th /21stcentury ones as well including numerous "biodiversity" racists like JP Rushton. Critics of the Greeks who accuse them of setting the stage for Western racism can thus point to several strands of Greek thought and writing in partial support of this thesis. There are qualifications than need to be made of course, but the author conveniently avoids this less than flattering information about the Greeks.
These generous and self-critical attitudes—unprecedented in the ancient world—are a dividend of critical consciousness, the ability to step back from the passions and prejudices of the moment and look at events from a larger perspective that illuminates the common human condition, the way even an enemy suffers and grieves just as we do. Again, dubious if based on cherry-picked quotes from ancient writings. Other quotes show the Greeks didn’t care much about others suffering and indeed welcomed the opportunity to enslave them.
Indeed as historians show- the Greek attitude towards slaves as shown in their theatrical productions were callous and unsympathetic, a far cry from the “proto-abolitionism” the author seems to insinuate: - quote: ” "What is more relevant to our present purpose though, is the remarkable callousness, from our point of view, which characterizes the portrayal of slave existence and the slave mentality in Greek comedy." --Dillon 2004
As the Greek examination of war and slavery shows, critical consciousness can lead to the improvement and reform of human institutions and behavior, for once the mind is liberated from the authority of tradition or the supernatural, it can criticize the ways things are done and consider alternatives. ^^Again dubious. Why didn’t this so called “critical consciousness” lead to abolition of slavery, why did the Spartan helots remain in miserable conditions, and why don’t we hear about how much better enslaved people were doing in Greece, versus eras supposedly lacking this “enlightened” “critical consciousness”?
In addition, the evidence of experience can then take on a greater importance, trumping the petrified dogmas sanctioned by mere authority or even sheer mental inertia, and so foster a scientific rather than a supernatural view of nature. Again overstated. SOME Greek philosophers examined modes of rational expression, for which they deserve credit. Most however still cleaved to superstitions about gods, goddesses, and other mythic elements.
This novel way of looking at the world, however, was creative of new improvements as well as being destructive of the old ways. The most obvious example of the improving power of critical consciousness when systematized into a science can be found in ancient Greek medicine. Numerous medical writings from ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia do survive, but their detailed observations are subordinated to irrational superstition: they are, as historian of medicine Roy Porter puts it, "sorcery systematized," for all disease is thought to be caused by demons. The Greek medical writers, on the other hand, for the most part ignored supernatural explanations and focused instead on their own observations and the consistent patterns of nature. That's why our word "physician" derives from the Greek word for nature, phusis. The following statement, from a Hippocratic work called On the Sacred Disease, a treatise on epilepsy, is unique in the ancient world outside Greece. "It [epilepsy] is not," the author says, "in my opinion, any more divine or more sacred than other diseases, but has a natural cause, and its supposed divine origin is due to men's inexperience, and to their wonder at its peculiar character."
Actually the “Greek defense” is not telling readers the whole story here. Greek “rationality” is again overblown. Let’s consider their record as far as the medicinal arts according to another historian:
Quote:
"Drugs were applied not because of a belief that they had natural healing properties, but following the tenets of primitive medicine, because they had magical powers. he Greek word pharmakon, usually translated as "drug: originally designated a substance with magic powers. These powers, however, did not need to be therapeutic, (a pharmakon could be a poison or could turn humans into animals) but were originally considered to me magic..
Supernaturalistic medicine is characterized by a multiplicity of powers that can heal and kill. Primitive Greek medicine was no exception and many Greek gods had healing functions: Apollo, the first deity invoked in the Hippocratic oath; Vulcan, worshipped in Lemnos, gave his healing powers to terra lemmnia, Juno, Jupiter's wife assisted women in childbirth.. In addition some of the gods could cause sudden death: for example, both Apollo and Diana could shoot lethal darts at humans.." (--A history of medicine by Plinio Priorescho 2004)
Critical consciousness defines the Greek achievement, and its most obvious manifestation is that uniquely Greek invention, philosophy, which can be defined as critical consciousness systematized.
^Dubious, for the reasons given above. One can make a case for unique Greek ARTICULATION of some things, but in terms of GREEK ARTICULATION. The Greeks invented their own way of analyzing the issues. But “critical consciousness”, in a universal sense, is old news in other cultures. It was not “invented” by the Greeks.
Of all the Greek philosophers, the spirit of critical consciousness is best embodied in the late 5th century BC philosopher Socrates, Plato's mentor, who was executed by Athens in 399 BC. Socrates's famous method was the "dialectic," from the Greek word that suggests both "discussion" and "analytical sorting." ^Fine. Socrates used a dialectical format. But his format does not constitute or embody “critical consciousness” in humans.
Most important, Socrates saw this activity of rational examination and pursuit of truth and virtue as the essence of what a human being is and the highest expression of human nature. That is why he chose to die rather than to give it up: "The unexamined life," he said in his defense speech, "is no life worth living for a human being." ^^Fine, and Socrates deserves credit for his insights. But when the author leaps to make a blanket claim that this represents some paragon of “critical consciousness” in humanity, then it is dubiously overblown. Socrates also hewed to several old beliefs about the gods too, and superstitious Greek religion that he did not cast off. He may have examined them, but he still cleaved to “superstitious” elements.
The invention of philosophy formalized the Greek habit of critical consciousness. Such an achievement is remarkable enough. Yet true to their drive to question and criticize everything, the Greeks turned critical consciousness not just on nature and other peoples, but, as we've already seen in their willingness to scrutinize their own beliefs about slavery or their behavior in war, they criticized their own culture and even rationalism itself. ^^All well and good, but as shown above, such self-criticism is nothing new among Chinese, Egyptians, etc
This impulse to self-examination, however, can perhaps best be illustrated by the critical questions raised about two of the Greeks' most important inventions, rationalism and democratic freedom.
Dubious. The Greeks did not invent “Rationalism” nor did they invent democratic freedom. In Greece, the bulk of the population had no democratic freedom. Only SOME did. They may have been defined as “citizens” but outside the “citizens” a bigger group of slaves and serfs without democratic rights toiled away. The Spartan helots vastly outnumbered their Spartan masters, and experienced very little so-called “democracy.”
And “Democracy” in terms of freely elected representatives of a defined polity is seen among various African tribes. The Galla of East Africa for example, with their “gada” system, had freely elected leaders based on age grades, producing a republican system, of orderly rotating tribal government and functioning, based on free elections and defined rights and responsibilities. Defining “rationalism” in terms of what the Greeks did is attempting to impose a European vise on the concept. We get to make the definitions, we get to set the parameters. Sorry. It no longer works that way.
At the moment in the mid-5th century BC when philosophy was being born and formalizing the rational pursuit of knowledge, the tragic poets were questioning the power of reason to acquire significant knowledge about the human condition. Insight and writing on the human condition is an old theme and old news among other peoples, besides Greeks..
Critical consciousness is the precious legacy the West received from the Greeks, a way of looking at the world that generates the cultural, intellectual, and political ideas--free speech, rationalism, consensual government, individualism, human rights--we all cherish today.
Again overstated, and notice how this picture flows with sweetness and light, and all good things, courtesy of the Greeks. The record of history however speaks otherwise. Genocide, racism, military conquest, etc can also be said to be a legacy of the Greeks, if one is willing to go to the opposite end of the spectrum and interpret Greek writings and practice from that negative end. The author overstates the case. All the nice things above are PARTIALLY a legacy of the Greeks. But there are other important items in the picture, besides the hagiography above. One large portion missing is the influence of the Near Eastern strands, Judaism and later on Christianity that played a key role in human rights, consensual government, etc. All the nice things mentioned above are not Greek “inventions” and they did not lead to the Greeks abolishing slavery for example, or extending the democratic ballot to serfs, slaves and all residents of their territories.
The central failing of the author’s piece is glamorization of all things Greek, and attempting to define things like “critical consciousness” according to a self-serving, flattering standard, that while fine in terms of the Greeks, do not necessarily apply to other parts of humanity. Do some critics of the Greeks overstate their case, boiling down the details to simplistic screeds of “isms”? Of course, and they deserve correction. But let us not go to the other extreme of self-serving Greek glamorization.
I have no problem with the author pointing out various unique elements of the Greeks, as inherited and applied by other Western nations. It is clear that the Greeks, like others, have made their own unique contribution to the world's culture, and they are one of the world's most influential cultures. But so are others, and the notion that the Greeks created "critical consciousness" or “rationalism” is very much open to question.
-------------------- Note: I am not an "Egyptologist" as claimed by some still bitter, defeated, trolls creating fake profiles and posts elsewhere. Hapless losers, you still fail. My output of hard data debunking racist nonsense has actually INCREASED since you began.. Posts: 5905 | From: The Hammer | Registered: Aug 2008
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Contrary to the views of the idiot Albino Einstein, relativity has nothing to do with space, mass, speed, and time - It has to do with the previous. We know the current is real, because it follows the rules of the previous, or it is relative to the previous. Everything in our reality is based on the previous. Should anything outside of these rules appear, we would not be able to detect it - as our sensory perceptions are based on the previous.
Posts: 22721 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by naturalborn7: WASHINGTON—A group of leading historians held a press conference Monday at the National Geographic Society to announce they had "entirely fabricated" ancient Greece, a culture long thought to be the intellectual basis of Western civilization.
The group acknowledged that the idea of a sophisticated, flourishing society existing in Greece more than two millennia ago was a complete fiction created by a team of some two dozen historians, anthropologists, and classicists who worked nonstop between 1971 and 1974 to forge "Greek" documents and artifacts.
"Honestly, we never meant for things to go this far," said Professor Gene Haddlebury, who has offered to resign his position as chair of Hellenic Studies at Georgetown University. "We were young and trying to advance our careers, so we just started making things up: Homer, Aristotle, Socrates, Hippocrates, the lever and fulcrum, rhetoric, ethics, all the different kinds of columns—everything."
Enlarge ImageJust one of the "ancient" artifacts dreamed up in a basement in Somerville, MA.
"Way more stuff than any one civilization could have come up with, obviously," he added.
According to Haddlebury, the idea of inventing a wholly fraudulent ancient culture came about when he and other scholars realized they had no idea what had actually happened in Europe during the 800-year period before the Christian era.
Frustrated by the gap in the record, and finding archaeologists to be "not much help at all," they took the problem to colleagues who were then scrambling to find a way to explain where things such as astronomy, cartography, and democracy had come from.
Within hours the greatest and most influential civilization of all time was born.
"One night someone made a joke about just taking all these ideas, lumping them together, and saying the Greeks had done it all 2,000 years ago," Haddlebury said. "One thing led to another, and before you know it, we're coming up with everything from the golden ratio to the Iliad."
"That was a bitch to write, by the way," he continued, referring to the epic poem believed to have laid the foundation for the Western literary tradition. "But it seemed to catch on."
Around the same time, a curator at the Smithsonian reportedly asked for Haddlebury's help: The museum had received a sizeable donation to create an exhibit on the ancient world but "really didn't have a whole lot to put in there." The historians immediately set to work, hastily falsifying evidence of a civilization that— complete with its own poets and philosophers, gods and heroes—would eventually become the centerpiece of schoolbooks, college educations, and the entire field of the humanities.
Emily Nguyen-Whiteman, one of the young academics who "pulled a month's worth of all-nighters" working on the project, explained that the whole of ancient Greek architecture was based on buildings in Washington, D.C., including a bank across the street from the coffee shop where they met to "bat around ideas about mythology or whatever."
"We picked Greece because we figured nobody would ever go there to check it out," Nguyen-Whiteman said. "Have you ever seen the place? It's a dump. It's like an abandoned gravel pit infested with cats."
She added, "Inevitably, though, people started looking around for some of this 'ancient' stuff, and next thing I know I'm stuck in Athens all summer building a goddamn Parthenon just to cover our tracks."
Nguyen-Whiteman acknowledged she was also tasked with altering documents ranging from early Bibles to the writings of Thomas Jefferson to reflect a "Classical Greek" influence—a task that also included the creation, from scratch, of a language based on modern Greek that could pass as its ancient precursor.
Historians told reporters that some of the so-called Greek ideas were in fact borrowed from the Romans, stripped to their fundamentals, and then attributed to fictional Greek predecessors. But others they claimed as their own.
"Geometry? That was all Kevin," said Haddlebury, referring to former graduate student Kevin Davenport. "Man, that kid was on fire in those days. They teach Davenportian geometry in high schools now, though of course they call it Euclidean."
Sources confirmed that long hours and lack of sleep took their toll on Davenport, and after the lukewarm reception of his work on homoeroticism in Spartan military, he left the group.
In a statement expressing their "profound apologies" for misleading the world on the subject of antiquity for almost 40 years, the historians expressed hope that their work would survive on its own merits.
"It would be a shame to see humanity abandon achievements such as heliocentrism and the plays of Aeschylus just because of their origin," the statement read in part. "Moreover, we have some rather disappointing things to tell you about the pyramids, the works of Leonardo da Vinci, penicillin, the Internet, the scientific method, movies, and dogs."
quote:Originally posted by Crush Black Lies: HAHA Desperate Afroclowns resort to desperate measures, The Onion, a news satire organization! RFLOL!!!
I am willing to bet The Onion purposely chose that topic just to fuk with Afrocentrists.
There is no doubt that there was a political purpose to it. I just wonder who put them up to it.
BTW CBL - The evidence says WHO is desperate? Albinos are the ones running, not us. We look forward to the fight.
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