I live in a diverse community. And I am noticing how smart, good looking black men who work hard and are basically good guys. They are monogamous, if not married to these huge, ugly stupid white women. I can't understand why these black men think 'White is right'. Worse yet these guys could have easily gotten a better white woman. These women are near or over 300lbs. By the facial expression and their behavior I would easily consider that they are mentally disabled, IQ below average. Does this make them easier to control? A socail security check take the financial pressure off of them?

And then there are some couples where the white woman is beautiful, brilliant, dedicated and the black man is her equal. And these very men claim white women are better at raising children. What a bunch of bullshit. It makes me blood boil.

As I see it African American woman are far more protective and centered on their children. And I know white guys who have married up, a African Ameircan woman who is better educated, better employed, has better family and this white boy is totally at peace with her. The race thing doesn't even come up with an African American woman and a white man. Why?

Yet the BS about African men having long shlongs go on. White college boys go into strip joints just to see Black girls dance and strut. While 40% of children in America are halfies. Mixed completely. Thank God Almighty for the next generation.

I can't wait to have all this racial BS left behind in America's past.

What makes a super lover, generousity, sensitivity, knowledge, and commitment. No hang ups.

Please stop refering to people of different ethnicities like a ringmaster would at a oddity shop!

ARGHHH! I hate being a cracker, I hate being a cracker, I HATE BEING A CRACKER, I HATE BEING A CRACKER, I HATE BEING A CRACKER!!?%&$%o**$%###

quote:

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Originally posted by BarbieGirl:
Well, thanks a lot for the replie so far! I have been stomped with this matter every time i go to Egypt!! On my last trip i started talking to a beautiful 23 year old girl from New Zealand who was hanging around with a egyptian guy who was more or least ok looking. he wasnt "black" in colour but was paler than she was! Anyway i asked her why she with this guy who is so arrogant and seemed to take pleasure in making this girl look like an idiot???! She would try to say some words in arabic and he would so rudely correct her saying "if you dont know how to say than dont say it." After he went off somewhere, i went over to her and ask her what was up with this dude? She said he is usually nice and sweet...besides he is her husband!!!!!!!!!! Yes, another victim of the orfi!! I told her it is not legal and that he using her for something. She thanked me for the info but insisted that this guy loves her and they can work out all their problems!
Seems like to me these DO use some kind of brainwashing technique!! Oh my poor sisters! Please if it sound like you in one of these stories...wake up and think what you really getting into!
And on the race subject..i dont feel any bad thing about any race bcuz there are bad guys and girls too from every race on the planet! Waiting too for next generation...Insh'Allah they will be smarter!!!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Paint Me As I Am:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Isis83:
[b] Well, since the cat's outta the bag...
I thank you for your concern to all us who fall into the category of "foriegn girls." I'll now be even more paranoid of these guys dirty ways!
Well, I dont have blonde hair nor blue eyes...but hey, to a dog (which is what these guys act like) a bone is a bone right?? LOL!!!
Peace&Luv

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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL... well, for sure haveing more knowledge of thier evil ways- And being more Wise since: "The Cat is out of the Bag.. " Better says " WHO LET THE DOGS OUT"?? - A song u would hear in any store u shop at....

Good Idea- next time toss a bone and go "WOOF,WOFF" I would love to see the expression on their face.. :-)

Jannah[/B][/QUOTE]

But - they operate under the assumptions it's all talk and look for the action behind the words.

Western women? They believe the words. Combination of silly fairy tales, the mystical love-at-first sight, and going out in the heat with no hat probably.

How to differ full saucy emotions from empty banging words is a matter of experience, so just keep calm and keep trying, gals - some are luckier or less demanding but for others it may take years until you learn to recognise, or find, the true vine.

quote:

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Originally posted by sonomod:

ARGHHH! I hate being a cracker, I hate being a cracker, I HATE BEING A CRACKER, I HATE BEING A CRACKER, I HATE BEING A CRACKER!!?%&$%o**$%###

I heard something explode, what the hell was that.... heck that was me.

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Well move into a home with no wheels, Trailer Park Barbie, and you won't have to be a cracker anymore.

P.S. I hope that explosion wasn't the air going out one the tires on your home, lol.

What I read into the names alone, is an insecure person, saying, hey look at me, I'm the status of beauty, yet I have to come all the way to Egypt to get a man because none in my own country want me.

When in reality, the men in your own country are intelligent enough to recognize the bleached highlights, the blue contacts, the dark roots, overall fakeness that Egyptian men may buy in to.

This is why some flock to Egypt by the hundreds, convincing themselves that they are some prized possession, while its so easy to fill her head up with more nonsense, she's already under the false impression that she's superior to Egyptian women before she even steps off the plane.

Meanwhile he's taking her money, and saving it to give his prized virgin some day, after he has built a future with the money he scammed off foreigners. It's time for you women to wake up and stop talking about how good a lover he is, or how pretty you are, all the superficial things that don't lead to a lasting relationship. Looks fade over time, and men are no longer in their sexual peak after 35 years old, you already know this, this is why you cheat on your British husbands, and go redezvous with some young Egyptian stud, who after giving you back the Karma hard in your face, you come to websites looking for sympathy.

quote:

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Originally posted by hassancheb:
Well move into a home with no wheels, Trailer Park Barbie, and you won't have to be a cracker anymore.

P.S. I hope that explosion wasn't the air going out one the tires on your home, lol.

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Oh you don't understand sarcasm through your gin and valium haze. I was making a self-depracating joke.

And my home is a first level apartment in a nice downtown neighborhood overrun by drunken yuppies.

while you attack people who try so hard to look as good as I do, you forget the extreme 'Joan Rivers ' wind tunnel look you sport. The only reason why you don't wear makeup is because too much of it will define the massive crevices in your complexion that the plastic surgeon couldn't stretch out. And you don't have enough class to apply make up correctly. You've tried for too many years to apply make up the way your husband's Shia Muu't woman does.

Can't teach an old dog new tricks.

And buy the way, while you ridicule British ladies for being suckered by boy toys you yourself are part of a post-Detriot trend.

When the boom of American car making ended the upper management decided to wed off their daughters to Arabs building their son in laws business prospects up so they could invest in special OPEC investment clubs and transfer their stocks from failing automotive producing corporations (that they themselves drove into the ground) to Oil.

And then some of the middle class in Michigan immitated the former Automotive Execs and couldn't tell the difference between a Saudi and a Lebanese.

quote:

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Originally posted by hassancheb:
I'm sorry I hate when people have names like barbiegirl, pritiperson, silly names and brag about their blonde hair and blue eyes, how pretentious!

What I read into the names alone, is an insecure person, saying, hey look at me, I'm the status of beauty, yet I have to come all the way to Egypt to get a man because none in my own country want me.

When in reality, the men in your own country are intelligent enough to recognize the bleached highlights, the blue contacts, the dark roots, overall fakeness that Egyptian men may buy in to.

This is why some flock to Egypt by the hundreds, convincing themselves that they are some prized possession, while its so easy to fill her head up with more nonsense, she's already under the false impression that she's superior to Egyptian women before she even steps off the plane.

Meanwhile he's taking her money, and saving it to give his prized virgin some day, after he has built a future with the money he scammed off foreigners. It's time for you women to wake up and stop talking about how good a lover he is, or how pretty you are, all the superficial things that don't lead to a lasting relationship. Looks fade over time, and men are no longer in their sexual peak after 35 years old, you already know this, this is why you cheat on your British husbands, and go redezvous with some young Egyptian stud, who after giving you back the Karma hard in your face, you come to websites looking for sympathy.

Oh they are not naive at all, maybe some 16 year old kid, yeah, but these old women like Luxorlover are very clever and calculating.

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I think the solution for your case is to try to find a guy like the girl from New Zealand as soon as possible. I wander why someone interfers in some other lovers' relations in order to advice someone to leave the other especially if they don't complain !!!

quote:

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Originally posted by ExptinCAI:
OMIGOD. I can only imagine the stupid jokes you had to deal with all your life. Did you ever think to change it legally?

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quote:

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Originally posted by 54321:
BarbieGirl,

I think the solution for your case is to try to find a guy like the girl from New Zealand as soon as possible. I wander why someone interfers in some other lovers' relations in order to advice someone to leave the other especially if they don't complain !!!

And we now know you are not an idiot and don't giveup to the sweet words of those Egyptian guys...Enough for u

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Easy answer:

The following points are specifically addressed to 7aya’s comments. It is not meant to humiliate or disgrace any group of people for their practices. People are people and we are all interested in their unique cultures and traditions. That is why we travel 8 times to one’s country because we want to be with them and associate with them. That is why people go west because they are curious. The limits and bonds of human interaction has been burst and humanity is finding itself closer and closer whether anyone wants it not not.

Dear 7aya!
You have raised a few interesting questions that I would like to address. These are indeed profound issues. As a journalist you are raising good questions and I would encourage you to even do a story on it. Why not? All the comments on this board can be a story. After all these are views of people from all over the world!

Firstly we must differentiate what BarbieGirl brought up from your message because in essence they are different subjects in nature.

What you witness at that cafe with the Egyptian guy I am guessing is the result of trafficking of young ladies for the purpose of sex. Unfortunately after the fall of Soviet Union a lot of the women left the country to find prosperity and economic good. BBC had a nice documentary on this. Many of these ladies were even told that they can become waitresses overseas in tourist city around the world and make thousands of dollars. The young ladies in Russia are fair skin, blond, green eyes and they wear tight cloths. The rest of the Soviet Union countries always followed the trends of Russia and looked at the Russians as the models of beauty. Today Ukraine, Russia, and Eastern Europe have the highest rate of trafficking in the middle-eastern countries for the obvious reason that Middle Eastern clients prefer their look. They target cities with high rate of foreigners, businessmen, etc. For instance Dubai is one of the hubs and I presume Sharm would also qualify to be one. If you are a male traveling without your family and check into a hotel in Dubai, your name goes on a master list and you will be contacted to attend the exclusive club. The club is located on a hidden classified location. You enter and all of sudden you shall see a HaremSarai filled with 100s of women with majority from Eastern Europe and Russia who are waiting to show you a good time. It is a big business all over these countries that middle-eastern men travel to and it is extended to Far East as far as Thailand, etc. They also know well that middle Easter men can marry more than one wife or they can do temporary marriage for one hr. or so. Therefore the question of monogamy is never on the mind of a middle eastern man. He feels no remorse. If you are a man and you fit the description they call you and invite you to these clubs. I am assuming the same pattern is exercised in Sharm. That is the Magic of an ugly man hanging around a gorgeous eastern European lady who is 20 years younger! Although since I was not there myself this is my guess.

Now in regards to the issues raised by BarbieGirl I would like to offer the following. The rest of the Egyptian guys, who don’t have the $300 to spend on a Russian gal, will have to find their love among the beautiful girls who come to Sharm for vacation. Their sense of low class encounter has nothing to do with their Egyptionness. Their behavior is a pattern that can be seen at almost any Middle Eastern country. For a guy from this part of the world woman is taboo, it is a mystery veiled under a sea of mysteries and secrecies. From childhood the boy sees that the women are kept separate and treated delicately. The boys hardly ever hang around girls. Schools are separate, outing is separate, swimming pools are separate, birthday parties are separate, school activities such as prom is separate, weddings are separate, etc. Naturally the boy develops a sense of curiosity to the nature of women in general. He wants to know what they like, what makes them happy and sad, what they smell like, how many shapes and varieties are out there. This is a sincere curiosity.

As he grows up he realizes that the western women are out in the open and they walk freely, speak up, laugh in public, smoke, take pictures. The boys take every opportunity they have on the street to check out the western women and see what they are all about. Of course it makes it very uncomfortable for the western woman who has never encounter this to be stared at for a long time. These boys become mesmerized and can’t let go. The western woman who feels uncomfortable will try to break the staring cycle by making a gesture of smile of saying hi or whatever. Then things start to go south. The boys get over excited with sexual joy and blessed with thrill think that they are so attractive that even women from the west like them. They start laughing and joking. This usually turns the western woman off. The capacity of excitement of a Middle Eastern guy is very low. He gets excited over a simple smile or hearing the melody of the voice or the scent of a woman.

The Eastern women are taught from childhood to deal with this “low-capacity” issue. They are trained not to ever smile at a boy, look into his eyes, let him hear her voice nor touch him. The western girls learn from childhood to respectfully play with all kids in the yard even the boys, talk to them, smile and with their body language keep a courteous relationship with all kids. This is way way above and beyond the highest of the highest capacities of a Middle Eastern man unless he is too trained from childhood to play with girls in the same yard or school or church or mosque.

When the western women go to the market all the shopkeepers want to to flirt with the them because they know that at the least there will be a smile or a courteous response. The similar invitation of a shopkeeper to a Middle Eastern lady may very well be responded by telling him to go to hell!

Let’s examine another aspect of this issue, which is truly sad. What do a Middle Eastern man knows about the western women? Where would they get their information? Obviously not all the Middle Eastern men travel to Europe or America. One may say TV. Did you know that the most popular shows on satellite TV is Baywatch, Friends, Sex and the city? Baywatch was a rejected show in the US and it never made it. But the re-runs have been played on TeleStar 5 for many years because it is a bunch of blond Americans girls on the beach. Sex and the city is on DVD sold in Afghanistan and it is the number one selling show. I understand they are bringing in “Desperate housewives” soon. With all these propaganda what is a Middle Eastern man learning? What are we teaching them about the values of a western woman? We are teaching them that the western ladies are easy, playful, lovers and all they ever talk about is sex. Not to mention all the porno movies that we put out in California every year, all the porno websites we put out from America and all the porno magazines we produce in the states to send to these countries because they do not have the right to produce then in Middle East and with all that oil money they can afford to purchase.

With this kind of vision and understanding of a western woman they come across a lady from London who is here for a restful vacation and is mature with lots of family values, a believer in God and laws of chastity and they think she is “Debbie Does Dallas!”

It would have been such beautiful scenery if the eastern men exercised chastity as the eastern women do. You see the issue of chastity is a big discussion and we will leave it for another time but look and see what makes a woman special unique beauty. It is their chastity. Alas that the society does not enforce in any shape of form chastity over men. Men can get away with all kinds of dirty encounters and still be called a good man. Women smiles at somebody and look what kinds of names they are called just over this website. If there is chastity in the books of God, it is for all human beings not for women only.

I think we trashed the Australian lady enough. But I think she is probably a person of much value as well. She probably practices chastity at home; she has a good life, and lives in accordance to the book. But when she travels for vacation she is gone to a different plane and want to stretch the limits. She wants to open up and drink and forget about what is right and what is wrong. She wants to try different things. That is why she is in Sharm!!!!! So she know that she has 5 days and anything goes! If she wants to have a sexual experience obviously she won’t want to try an Australian. I think it is easy to fall in love with a Eastern Man because they are sensitive and in a lot of areas naive.

You see I must say that east has a lot to learn about west and the west has a lot to learn about east. This is the destiny of humanity in this day and age. No matter what the trend is getting closer and closer. The two, if brought together in harmony and respect will make a very favorable combination and balance. Each nation, tribe, race and person has a unique thing that they can offer. After all that is why we are reading these pages!

Very long-winded speech but what's it got to do with what is being discussed?

And whoah to the generalizations.

quote:

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posted by bear2000
You see I must say that east has a lot to learn about west and the west has a lot to learn about east. This is the destiny of humanity in this day and age. No matter what the trend is getting closer and closer. The two, if brought together in harmony and respect will make a very favorable combination and balance. Each nation, tribe, race and person has a unique thing that they can offer. After all that is why we are reading these pages!

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quote:

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Originally posted by hassancheb:
I'm sorry I hate when people have names like barbiegirl, pritiperson, silly names and brag about their blonde hair and blue eyes, how pretentious!

What I read into the names alone, is an insecure person, saying, hey look at me, I'm the status of beauty, yet I have to come all the way to Egypt to get a man because none in my own country want me.

When in reality, the men in your own country are intelligent enough to recognize the bleached highlights, the blue contacts, the dark roots, overall fakeness that Egyptian men may buy in to.

This is why some flock to Egypt by the hundreds, convincing themselves that they are some prized possession, while its so easy to fill her head up with more nonsense, she's already under the false impression that she's superior to Egyptian women before she even steps off the plane.

Meanwhile he's taking her money, and saving it to give his prized virgin some day, after he has built a future with the money he scammed off foreigners. It's time for you women to wake up and stop talking about how good a lover he is, or how pretty you are, all the superficial things that don't lead to a lasting relationship. Looks fade over time, and men are no longer in their sexual peak after 35 years old, you already know this, this is why you cheat on your British husbands, and go redezvous with some young Egyptian stud, who after giving you back the Karma hard in your face, you come to websites looking for sympathy.

Oh they are not naive at all, maybe some 16 year old kid, yeah, but these old women like Luxorlover are very clever and calculating.

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quote:

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Originally posted by khadijah2:
I want to know how egyptian men feel about African American muslim women.Is it just as silly to think they really want to marry an american for the right purposes?

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sorry - but i dont get your question can you explain ?

quote:

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Originally posted by ExptinCAI:
Simiply, egyptian women have heard the sweet talk all their lives. They demand action from the guy. (Sometimes it goes a bit overboard with the materialism and the gifts, the furnished flat, the car, etc.)

But - they operate under the assumptions it's all talk and look for the action behind the words.

Western women? They believe the words. Combination of silly fairy tales, the mystical love-at-first sight, and going out in the heat with no hat probably.

And, let's not forget that most of them do think it's a holiday romance and get suckered in AFTER they leave. When the guy starts the SMSing, the international calls, the 'can't live without you, I fell in love with you' bit. In my opinion, that's where the level-headed women lose their capacity to think. They expect never to hear from the guy again and when he acts like someone out of a movie.... well, you want to believe it could happen.

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Well women are all the same western ,egyptian, or what ever ,, they all like sweet words and attention. a woman lose the capacity to think when facing a sweet guy with sweet words regardless of age, and she is mentally prepared for such encounters if she is missing such thing.
i wonder that you c old women with young guys only here in egypt, it is every where. and vice versa.

quote:

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Originally posted by Humanized:
sorry - but i dont get your question can you explain ?

[This message has been edited by Humanized (edited 03 August 2005).]

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You made reference to "bleached highlights, blue contacts and dark roots" and "over all fakeness". I want to know do Egyptian men feel this way about all women from the US or western countries or just white women.

quote:

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Originally posted by ExptinCAI:
OMIGOD. I can only imagine the stupid jokes you had to deal with all your life. Did you ever think to change it legally?

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Well it might be a name that her family is really attached to. Like my cousin named her daughter 'Paris' after the Paris Hilton rage sweeping our nation.

I hate the name, on top the fact who she was named for. It really agrivates me. I am the only one in the family that pronounces her name correctly, "PaHRee" instead of pareees. If you name your child something like that pronounce it correctly.

I knew one woman named "Barbie". A nice middle class woman, down to earth and not a 'barbie' in any sense of the word. She is upbeat and supersweet.

quote:

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Originally posted by Humanized:
sorry - but i dont get your question can you explain ?

[This message has been edited by Humanized (edited 03 August 2005).]

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I understand perfectly. Can an Arab or Egyptian marry an American because he loves her? Or must there be ulterior motives?

quote:

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Originally posted by sonomod:
I understand perfectly. Can an Arab or Egyptian marry an American because he loves her? Or must there be ulterior motives?

Arab or Egyptian in general try their hardest to poison the Egyptian husband towards their American wife. Its in their nature. It happens too when a Indian man marries an American woman. No one will let the couple be.

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quote:

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Originally posted by khadijah2:
You made reference to "bleached highlights, blue contacts and dark roots" and "over all fakeness". I want to know do Egyptian men feel this way about all women from the US or western countries or just white women.

Do they feel the way same about African American women? If not then what is their perception of an African American women? I am asking this because I am very close to an African American women that really wants to marry and Egyptian man,the man seems kind and they are both practicing muslims. I didn't really know that Egyptians thought this way about caucasians so maybe I can find out what they think about black women.
Thanks

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Actually i hate to give generalizations .

but tell you what , when ever an american woman is getting married to egyptian guy let her ask the guy : how would it be if they live in egypt ?
if he was fake , she wont see him again .
if he was honest , he would be happy .

quote:

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Originally posted by Humanized:
maybe you are right , but you are talking about specific communities in egypt where education is lacking

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quote:

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Originally posted by Humanized:
Actually i hate to give generalizations .

but tell you what , when ever an american woman is getting married to egyptian guy let her ask the guy : how would it be if they live in egypt ?
if he was fake , she wont see him again .
if he was honest , he would be happy .

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Actually many scam artists and gigollos don't want a visa. They will insist she move to egypt (with all her money, of course because there it will go much farther and can buy him a nice new house, a car, be able to show off to his neighbors and his egyptian wife and kids will be pacified with the new money he's getting from the westerner.)

Not to be a cynic or anything but reading ES alone will help you see the pattern.

quote:

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Originally posted by diana_ivanova:
Aren`t u tired from this mania that every egyptian run after the foreign woman only coz of her money,can`t you just not generalise the situation,i hate this really,this is so funny!If here are women who suffered from this kind of treatment,then i dearly sorry for it,matter of luck i suppose,i dont know,but dont judje all of them!
I am happily married for egyptian man,who i love so much and he loves me back by the same strenght of the feelings,and we are happy,no matter all difficulties we pass through,and i am 100% sure he is with me because of me,and nothing else!!!!
So my dears,not all egyptian man are scumbags,there are manyyyy good guys and i know many,who are honest and good man,but u will never find them in the bars of your hotels,or working in the tourism,thats the fact!!!!!
Who work in the tourism,in the most of the cases....he look for the less thing sexual adventure,flirts and fun!
But dont forget that the good man is good men,even if u put them in the tourism!
So stop to put all in one,coz its simply not true!
Good luck dears!

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quote:

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Originally posted by livinlife:
I havnt read all of the comments on here but read a couple and i think u are all quite negative, i have been to egypt 10 times already and the the time before last met a guy out there who worked in a hotel, i then took another holiday there to visit him and he took the time off work to see me for a week, we have stayed in contact everyday since, and the last time i went over we got married, i dont think it is fair to generalise these guys as u get people like that all over the place that sweet talk and then move a long to the next moving female, there are guys like that in england and other places.
i trust that my now husband is faithfull and we are planning our future together to be in egypt, with a small family.
I think that the hospitality of the egyptian men and women is super and i personally cannot wait to be a part of their great country and culture.
Getting back to the point i think ur being unfair to the poor guys, and i dont think that all the egyptian men do move from lady to lady, some of them do actually find love

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You've married a guy you've spent a couple of weeks of your life with???
I hope for your sake this is an orfi marriage!!
yYs... some of them find love.... over and over and over again!!!
mMybe time for a reality check???

quote:

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Originally posted by everyday_angel:
i agree, that does sound nuts, but then again there are arranged marriages that work everyday, or marriages where the man and woman meet a couples of times around family and then decide to marry, however; we all know those situations are MUCH different. Hotel romance? I wonder how many times that has happened. I have known my fieancee for 2 years now, and I'm glad I have, at least I will marry him knowing I know who and what he is.....but I do wish that girl a lot of luck. Marriage is hard no matter what the circumstances.

[This message has been edited by everyday_angel (edited 31 August 2005).]

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Arranged marriages work because two extended families have agreed upon it.

Now only a few meetings between the bride and bridegroom, yes thats normal, but arranged marriages are a massive strategy. Visits by family members, checking information, and finding weaknesses in the opponent, well that takes time, years in fact.

I wouldn't compare this to arranged marriages.

quote:

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Originally posted by pablowablo:
every person has their own taste and everyone is intitled to it. as for generalizing people thats about the stupidest thing ive eever heard we are all individuals we may be associated with groups but were still pretty unique. and ive met people from all of these so called stereo typical groups and found many exceptions in each so-called group.
as when it comes to the make up,hair style and the clothes a person wears thats just how they express themselves weather they look good or not thats up to them but if youre walking around just looking at what he/she is wearing and weather u think they look good or not then that is truly truly a very sad thing. and weathr u like what the look like or what theyre wearing its really ur problem we all have diff tastes in evrything thats what makes us unique!
As for meeting or mariying in the ways mentioned above< i always concider myslef an optomistic person i will have to say its a bit risky if u dont know how the state of mind of the other party and i will have to say most of u prob. dont! if u did u wouldnt be here posting asking questions and u wont find any awnsers here either! why?! because we are individuals and every sitiuation is diff. i just mean to say that if ur planing on marrying a person u dont really know from a country u havent really lived in ure taking a big risk! but then again the higher the risk the bigger the reward!
for those about to make such a leap of faith i wish u the best of luck( i truly do) and for those who have already found their soulmate congratualations(i envy u but i do believe theres someone for everyone and life is the journey we take to find them)

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Whether or weather? Sorry to be so anglo-saxon on you!

yeah, but also it can be a massive relationship breaker when either party has to adapt to a new culture/society and take some massive steps down in level of material/societal comfort. So your advice on getting to know a culture of the other is explicitly important. But of course you can educate yourself to the teeth, become baladi, go out and cut stuff off and sew stuff up and still not make your partner happy.

I think if I was to try this again I'd go for a mate you has spent at least a decade in my country or was partially raised in the USA. And that marriage to him wasn't just completing half of his faith. I feel so used and put up for unreasonable expectations due to he needing to meet religious and traditional obligations through me.

And I don't want to be a trophy either. Because I look a certain way and my parents have a certain amount of material wealth and societal leverage shouldn't make me a better score than someone from his own class, culture, faith, or village.

The cusp of it is, communal versus individualism.

quote:

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Originally posted by sonomod:
Arranged marriages work because two extended families have agreed upon it.

Now only a few meetings between the bride and bridegroom, yes thats normal, but arranged marriages are a massive strategy. Visits by family members, checking information, and finding weaknesses in the opponent, well that takes time, years in fact.

I wouldn't compare this to arranged marriages.

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Yes, they have to have all those meetings to work out the money. In reality many arranged marriages are based on economics with status and other matters second. Nor is it always a 'massive strategy' - not if the daughter is getting on a bit (er 26, 27?) and they are worried she might not marry at all.

Also it is not always the case that the family even know the chosen partner and their family very well. They can be a neighbour who they have seen around but know are wealthy with fairly good religious credentials etc. (I know of a few cases like this and they are bad marriages)

quote:

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Originally posted by sonomod:
Another thing that pisses me off, is how brothers compete, "I got my wife pregnant faster than you got your wife pregnant", "My wife cooks two meals a day for me and the dishes are clean everyday", "My wife goes to the theater and a $40 a plate restuarant with her family every month, what does your wife do?" "My wife will look 20 years younger than your wife soon and my wife is older", "My wife doesn't talk back as much as your wife (that one is real easy if she is scared of you in the first place)", "My wife has light skin that freckles not tans", "My wife was raised in a neighborhood with large yards and lush gardens in front of every house".

The compeition thing is just f*cking annoying!

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quote:

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Originally posted by pablowablo:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by sonomod:
[b]Another thing that pisses me off, is how brothers compete, "I got my wife pregnant faster than you got your wife pregnant", "My wife cooks two meals a day for me and the dishes are clean everyday", "My wife goes to the theater and a $40 a plate restuarant with her family every month, what does your wife do?" "My wife will look 20 years younger than your wife soon and my wife is older", "My wife doesn't talk back as much as your wife (that one is real easy if she is scared of you in the first place)", "My wife has light skin that freckles not tans", "My wife was raised in a neighborhood with large yards and lush gardens in front of every house".

The compeition thing is just f*cking annoying!

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[This message has been edited by pablowablo (edited 04 October 2005).][/B][/QUOTE]