If Egyptian man wants to make nice impression on Europian lady, why do they "cross examine" her as if she is in the Court room or police station, asking 20 personal questions.
1)its rude, 2)she will not tell u anything, 3)and u will never have a chance to talk to her again! Your chances are virtually 0.00%
And lets say questions are asked by people that you are not so "close" with, lets see 4 example a "person" u just met, neighbour or complete stranger etc.
Do words "privacy" or "too early to ask" exist in Egyptian dictonaries?
All right, how about this, do u guys/ladies like TO BE ASKED several personal questions in a row about your personal life, including all your relationships, your girl/boy/friends if any, sexual histories, are u virgin, date of birth, family staff, until, how much money u make etc??
[This message has been edited by Miss Sarajevo (edited 01 August 2002).]
posted
If I meet someone I like I find I am quite impatient to find our certain pieces of information. So I do ask a lot of questions and to be honest the direct approach has always worked for me. Often people are flattered to know you are so interested. Once I know what I want to know such as age what they do where they live there family ect then we move on to more conversational topics. Like I say its always worked for me
sounds like a receipe for a giving a girl a glorious headache
However, ie "do u guys/ladies like to be asked personal questions" that would depends on how much I like the guy at first. As Donna says it can be nice to be 'questionned' out of genuine interest, things like date of birth are ok.
Depending on how long it lasts though I wouldn't be able to stay serious and give proper answers, I couldn't resist on answering questions in a lighter and lighter way.
As for "all your girl/boy/friends in details" that might be pushing it a bit. And with regard to "how much money u make", personally it would not take me long to answer
I have met people though with whom I 'clicked' straight away, and where being asked all that did not feel inquisitive but very natural, and whereby I felt like asking just as much. (not egyptian men but from Algeria, Morrocco, Iran)
[This message has been edited by nadiav (edited 01 August 2002).]
So u are actually the one who is questioning, right? And it always worked 4 you, u said. How about when people that u dont know very well asks you personal question, do u interpret this also as "interest" IN YOU?
For example "are u virgin?", how do u interpret this question, as 1) "interest" in you, 2) or interest in "virginity"?
"How much money u make?" "do u have citizenship?" "what is your "B" size?" Is this also interest in 1)YOU, or 2)its interest in (money,ctizenship, b size)?
In my opinion, sincere interest in a lady IS NOT expressed by asking personal questions.
To me genuine interest are questions such as "What music u like? What makes u laugh? What do u think about be4 u... fell asleep? What makes u happy? What is your favorite book? What is your first memory? etc
You see, to me this is big difference!
[This message has been edited by Miss Sarajevo (edited 01 August 2002).]
posted
salaam all dear Sara is right...the questions that come are really amazing...and it is odd since I was told by an Egyptian that Egyptian men have "difficulty articulating their feelings..."--perhaps emotions remain buried while the need to pursue "virgin territory" and finances are considered safe(r) topics for discussion with potential partners...this may sound unfair as I am muslim, but i think in part the nature of contractual agreements that stipulate mahr etc force a man to require from his intended certain qualities that he is in fact, BUYING...let's get real here? And there is no legitimate/open dating system so its a matter of sorting the wheat from the chaff real fast and either getting on with a marriage or moving on to someone more appropriate, ya know? It's brutal out there folks... susi
Posts: 333 | From: queens, NY USA | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Susi, are you implying by paying mahr you are buying a woman? If so you are wrong Muslim women retain their maiden name when married. Even if they marry 7 times they are still independent souls. Some choose to be respectful and obedient towards their husbands because they follow their religion. Also every Muslim believes in afterlife when a woman dies and had two husbands on earth, she chooses which husband she wants in afterlife. So who owns who? Egyptian marriages it’s well know the husband has his say/way for only for the first several years of marriage the remaining years of marriage is dictated by the wife either directly or indirectly. Another thing a women if approached by a potential husband she has the right to accept him or not and if she does she sets the price and the conditions so who is buying who again?
You(susi) must be a sorry dame/lad if you can’t find a date. This is Cairo the land the Islamic genral Amr Ibn Al-3As invaded because of its “playful women”, “succumbing people” and “rich Nile” things haven’t changed much since then.
Egyptian babes are different from Western babes on first dates and Q&A. Egyptian guys think they strike gold when they meet a western lady so they ask and answer everything, they think it’s polite. Egyptians love asking questions, I remember when I first arrived and I would get in a cab, I would tell the driver listen I’ll give you good baksheesh if you just keep quiet. :-)
The questions you are talking about in your second post asked in that way would be very forward and it would not be 'tactful' any day to say the least be it on the first meeting or the second or any other.
"In my opinion, sincere interest in a lady IS NOT expressed by asking personal questions."
If you don't ask any 'personal questions' how are you going to find out anything about the person?
This might wind you up but I understand the need for a bloke to broach the subject of virginity whether it be personal or general.
As for the b size, I believe most blokes are able to generally figure that out on a girl without asking
[This message has been edited by nadiav (edited 02 August 2002).]
posted
Many cultures consider personal questions as an invasion of privacy by all except family and close friends. Certain questions are totally inappropriate to ask by complete strangers or even people that u dont really know very well. It is cultural thing, the way how people are thought to be, it has nothing to do with answers. For example, many people talk about their relationships/friendships but they dont disclose the name of person especially to people who are not close friends. Why? To protect the privacy of that person. Yet, some people would even go further and ask, what is the name? You dont want everyone, to know your personal life, yet when u chose to say, u say without asking, right? What really is "funny" to me is when some people just think they are "entitled" to know anything about u, and girl doesnt even want to be involved. Finally, probably nobody mind to answer basic questions, such as age, origin, place of living etc, but when someone is "interviewing" u with some personal questions, I find it totally inappropriate. Its total turn off.
How will u ever know the person if u dont ask personal questions? Everybody have different style. In my opinion question after question is just too persuasive. You dont want to make a girl feel you are like police officer or something.
I am aware that this differ from culture to culture, but I specifically reffered my posting about how questioning is perceived by most Europian girls. I am sure there are exceptions to every rule, but honestly, Europian girls do not like too many personal questions and it has nothing to do with possible answers. Its just we think "its none of your business, and who the h... u are to ask anything " Sorry.
[This message has been edited by Miss Sarajevo (edited 02 August 2002).]
posted
Well, I guess if that would ever happen to me, I would tell the person that I don´t want to answer those questions. He/She has the right to ask, and you have a right to answer/not to answer. That´s it. I don´t think I should feel offended if someone is giving me the third degree, because that means the other person is interested in myself and /or wants to get personal. But if I am not interested in the person, or I simply don´t feel like speaking of something at a certain point, I have my right to keep quiet.Remember: "There are no incorrect questions, only answers are"
Posts: 932 | From: España | Registered: Jun 2002
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I agree totally with what you say in your last post. Inquiring is one thing, questioning is as you say 'unacceptable'.
After all, if it is someone one doesn't like, you tell them to get lost (and I am sure you don't have any problems doing that ); and if it is someone one does like, there again, one chooses to answer what one wants to, and I believe most girls are very good at stearing a conversation towards what they want anyway
The essence for a guy who wants to ask questions is therefore:
to be smooth or not to be? that is the question
[This message has been edited by nadiav (edited 02 August 2002).]
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salaam dunes: I think in the mind of a muslim man paying mahr is the qualities he will receive in his wife..if u think this is stupid thinking, count how many marriages u know are for pure religious reasons...I offer the story of Julaybib's marriage made by the Prophet in my defense. REspect and obedience called for within Islamic precepts need not fall apart after a few years. When two people work--on all levels in a marriage--respect and obedience that is at first demanded, becomes a natural state out of love, trust and respect. I cannot speak for Egyptian women, but I know myself. As for finding a date...I am preparing for marriage in a few weeks. S
Posts: 333 | From: queens, NY USA | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Ooooooooooooooooooh. She got you Dunes.... Hahaha. Married in a few weeks! Mubarak Susi!
Posts: 682 | From: The United States of America | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
salaam dunes...such simple words but there are tears in my eyes from U I can tell u that the difficulties in acquiring documents, dealing with embassies, govt's, consulates and worst of all families-- that if u do not truly love someone, international marriages as this, are not worth the bother...not for either end, especially in the political climate now. S
Posts: 333 | From: queens, NY USA | Registered: Aug 2002
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