I have a "little" problem, can anybody help me, please ?????? I'm a young woman (36 y.o.) from Europe and I fall inlove with an egyptian, this year in my hollydays. We spent about two weeks together and it was the most happy time of my life. This wonderful man prupose me to marry him. My heart say yes... My mind say "think a little". One of my problems is "somebody has a problem if he is black and I am white?" How people think about it in Hurghada or in Egypt? It's a matter of High class or middle class or low class ? Does it really matter ?? I truelly love this man and I would like to marry him. I respect him very much.
I hope someone can help me with a piece of an advice ...... CRISTIANA
posted
But he is not black. You will live with him, not the people. I guess I think "western" in regards of this. I dont know how Egyptian think...really.
Posts: 1590 | From: Usa | Registered: Jun 2002
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color isnt the issue here... i didnt really get yr question... in egypt, we are a blend of all colors and looks, there is already a post on that topic....
but i guess u have other things to worry abt if u did fall in love with an egyptian on a holiday.....
color isnt the issue here... i didnt really get yr question... in egypt, we are a blend of all colors and looks, there is already a post on that topic....
but i guess u have other things to worry abt if u did fall in love with an egyptian on a holiday.....
ciao
Thank you for your answer, but I don't understand. Can you tell me what's in your mind? Please. I really love my man ! CRISTIANA
quote:Originally posted by Miss Sarajevo: But he is not black. You will live with him, not the people. I guess I think "western" in regards of this. I dont know how Egyptian think...really.
Hello Miss Sarajevo,
Thank you for talking to me. But YES, he is black and he is the most nice man I have ever spoke with, the most kind man I have ever met, the most happy man I have ever talk with....I really miss the life I have there in Hurghada... Cristiana
u have to take a look at the previous posts and u'll get what i mean.
first: the three usual reasons, money sex and visa second: AGE???? third: are you willing to leave everything and come to egypt? give it some thought. check the relevant posts... and good luck
I think what Ngeg is saying is really intelligent... Just surf the board to find out about other relationships like yours.
Color is not the problem here, and if you think it is, you havenīt done enough research. You will discover you are not the only one in the same situation.
u have to take a look at the previous posts and u'll get what i mean.
first: the three usual reasons, money sex and visa second: AGE???? third: are you willing to leave everything and come to egypt? give it some thought. check the relevant posts... and good luck
Dear Ngeg,
I'm so so so desperate! As I said before I love this man. First of all I don't have such much money and he know it( I've talk about my life, that was not a easy one, but OK, I've done everything by my one, and so, and so,...), my visa is not OK because I'm from a country... About age, as you know I'm 36 y.o. and he is 30. Mabe you think I'm idealistic or naive, but I belive that if you find THE right one you must go for it. Why not live in Egypt? in Hurghada? I love this country! OK, is not Europe but it's magic! And another OK, I have a good situation in my country, I graduate university in 1998 and now I have my little own company in finance-accountant field, working with 5-6 little other companies by my own, 10-12 hours p.day, BUT alone.All that serious things look like nothing to me when I'm thinking what I live there in Hurghada? I've told to my boyfriend, just before going home, that everything in my country seems to me so gray comparing to Egypt...I know the life in my country is not so easy, in fact is very hard and not everybody can have a comfort life, but I work hard for what I have now.I love my country but I have enought from my lonelyness, if you know what I mean... Cristiana
quote:Originally posted by carmendeespana: Cristiana,
I think what Ngeg is saying is really intelligent... Just surf the board to find out about other relationships like yours.
Color is not the problem here, and if you think it is, you havenīt done enough research. You will discover you are not the only one in the same situation.
Carmen
Hello Carmendeespana,
I'm glad to talk to you, but my heart is really broken... I didn't go to Egypt to have a romance, I never think to have a romance in my hollyday,it's just happen, and become serious,as I see. He would like to come to me before Christmas.Magic Egypt.....
I assume you are not investing your time sharing your problem with us just because you are hooked on somebody. I really believe you love him. Why shouldnīt you?
I only said you should be in contact with other people who may be in your same situation.
And as Noha said... think about it yourself. You are the one deciding, nobody can tell you what you whould do or how you should behave.
I know you are desperate, but life is indeed complicated.
so u r trying to say that concerning the first issue..yr bf is not to b suspected in regards to loving you for money (since u r not rich), sex(since he has chances with foreigners all the time..the guy lives in hurghada after all) , and visa...
second: age...30 is old enough to b decided on yr future mate...
thrid: have u considered trying to find a job in hurghada...? i mean , r u willing to live in a tourisitc area, where there's almost no hope for a "career"? except of course touristic activities?
why dont u try for a year or so..like think abt a year off ..come to egypt..try to settle down and find a job -on yr own- ...try to LIVE..here , (so far u have been a visitor-in love kaman- so u cant see things straight.
y marriage now? u can have time to know the guy really well, to explore posibilities of a good future......
What do you love about him? Is he married? Why he is not married? Egyptains marry early. What does he do for living? What is his proffession? How did you meet and where, in what setting? Did he tell you anything in regards of marriage?
Many questions.......
We have to know so much in order to tell you more accurately. I cant tell you what to do, if you already made up your mind.
posted
Christiana-I sense two important things in your message:
1-You are attracted to EGYPT and the laidback holiday atmosphere of Hurghada.
2-You are LONELY.
Neither of these are reasons to marry THIS man.
1-Hurghada exists for one reason only, tourism. The people who work there are therefore very skilled at making people feel welcome and happy-it is their JOB. But what is a job doesn't mean that they will be that way 24 hours a day 365 days a year. Just because you spent 2 happy weeks with this guy does not mean you will never have a fight, that you will agree on important lifestyle issues etc. Anyone can be nice for a while but the important thing is not how you have good times together, but how you will face problems together, because every marriage has its share of them, because life has its problems.
2-When a woman is lonely and wants someone to share her life, she sometimes accepts any man without really thinking about whether this specific man will fulfill that emptiness in her life. There are many married people in this world who are also lonely. What is his education level, his personal interests, as examples? Perhaps you like to discuss politics, but he doesn't consider this something you discuss with your wife and instead prefers to sit in the cafe with his male friends all night playing backgammon. If it turns out he is like that, just because he is your husband, doesn't mean you will escape loneliness.
As for your question about class, Hurghada isn't a place where class is important. Most of the people working in Hurghada are originally from Luxor anyway and in Luxor it is family connections that are important markers of status, not money or class level. You should insist on meeting this guy's family before you agree to marry him, as it will tell you a lot about him.
quote:Originally posted by carmendeespana: Dear Cristiana,
I assume you are not investing your time sharing your problem with us just because you are hooked on somebody. I really believe you love him. Why shouldnīt you?
I only said you should be in contact with other people who may be in your same situation.
And as Noha said... think about it yourself. You are the one deciding, nobody can tell you what you whould do or how you should behave.
I know you are desperate, but life is indeed complicated.
Carmen
I think that's my real problem :I don't know what to do...... I allways until now decide for me but I never before had to take such a big decision... It's tragic that until my age of 36 never happened to me...
posted
I think you r not sure if you like him or not cause if you love him a real love you'll not care of anyone except him.. I think you've to change the question.. it'll be "DO I REALLY LOVE HIM?" if the answer YES I think you'll be needn't to know our opinions.. Posts: 61 | From: Maadi,Cairo,Egypt | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Cristina, follow ur mind, not ur heart. Ur heart will catch up with what ur mind decides, specially when it is a decision that involves cultural differences and a life to fit within.
Posts: 355 | From: Egypt | Registered: Oct 2002
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I am sorry for not answering to nobody so much time ! I think what's really important in a couple it's TRUST. I thank you all for what you try to say to me,but, in this way, I will not trust neither in my shadow ! Everybody take a risk in this life, I think so. Some of you are mabe married.I think evrything is a problem of understanding.. and love, if exists. We'll see...
Thank's a lot !! Cristiana
PS. Nobody looks like a fool when cares to somebody! Or not?
quote:Originally posted by sissi76: ciao Cristiana, 6 italiana?
Ciao sissi76,
No, io no so italian ma un pocco. I am just a woman who doesn't know what to do. I am deeply inlove with my man to happened to be an Egyptian and there are a lot of rules in Arab world........
quote:Originally posted by CRISTIANA: Ciao sissi76,
No, io no so italian ma un pocco. I am just a woman who doesn't know what to do. I am deeply inlove with my man to happened to be an Egyptian and there are a lot of rules in Arab world........
Cristiana
Ciao Cristiana, sorry if I appeared to ask you if you are italian and then I desappeared, but I've been so busy with my work + I had some problems with my computer.. Well I don't think I am the right person to tell you the does and the don'ts., but you sound really desperate and lost and I'm very sorry for this. Actually I'm one of the many girls who had a crush for an hurghada man. Like you I didn't plan to have an affair while on holiday, it just happened. I don't know your man, but I can understand your situation. You spent some time in a beautiful place and the sun, the sea, the warm evenings... and this wonderful man who swear to love you and seems to touch you heart like nobody did before... it all creates the perfect picture! But Cristiana, please, wait a minute, think about it! That was not the reality, that was just a vacation! You are talking of leave everything and move to Egypt? And marry him?? Would you marry a person that you met let's say, Ibiza and with whom you spent a wonderful week? It could have been the best week of you life, but still I don't think you would. Take your time, go there as often as you can. Better would be move there for a while to know him better, to see how things work in egypt as resident, not as tourist. You say you have your own activity in you country, maybe you can delegate someone you really trust to lead it while you are away, you say that you worked hard to get it, don't want to throw all your work in the trash can! And then if you see things there are working out fine you may start something similar in egypt. And in the meantime you get to know your man. Maybe you will find out that he is really THE ONE, so go on and marry him! Maybe that he's not. Maybe you will realize that he is just another jerk looking for a chicken to pluck. In this case you wouldn't have lost everything you have and you could say "it didn't work, but at least I tried". And for what that concerns the arabic rules are you sure you can copy with them? Wait more than a minute you have all time in the world, this is your life, there's no need to hurry. I hope you'll take the right decision for you and I sincerely wish you all the best! Ciao. Sissi.
Posts: 58 | From: italy | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by CRISTIANA: Ciao sissi76,
No, io no so italian ma un pocco. I am just a woman who doesn't know what to do. I am deeply inlove with my man to happened to be an Egyptian and there are a lot of rules in Arab world........
Cristiana
Posts: 10 | From: Portugal | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
One of my problems is "somebody has a problem if he is black and I am white?" How people think about it in Hurghada or in Egypt? It's a matter of High class or middle class or low class ? Does it really matter ?? I truelly love this man and I would like to marry him. I respect him very much.
I hope someone can help me with a piece of an advice ...... CRISTIANA
Cristiana,
As all agreed, we in Egypt are very much Colour- Blind, so black or white it does not matter. I do however feel that you came from a country/ culture that mind colours- I assume that you are Eastern European which made me wonder, as I always thought people from East Europe are socialist at least in the past which based on equality for all. Good luck in Egypt
[This message has been edited by salama (edited 03 December 2004).]
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