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I'm sorry to say that but I feel that we lost alot of great meanings from our life, or at least I can say from MY life.. I needn't to bother you or make u sad but I really need to share someone what I feel in side.. I feel that I live my life like a machine, work, eat, sleep and even playing sport just to keep on my health and lose power in a good way.. but there are no emotions in my life.. I feel that I live in a jail, every things chain me.. chain my acts.. and even my way in thinking. I don't know what I've to do but I needn't to lose my future but at the same time I needn't to continue my life by the same way.. so do u've a suggesyion to help me changing my life and make it better. I hope to start my life again by the new way..
Posts: 87 | From: Maadi, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
So Newman, your not alone... Lately I have spend a lot of time thinking about whats its all about, sometimes i feel im trapped. You know that feeling... just going on doing things that have no through value, just to keep on. Going to work, home, making dinner, talking with friends, like that, like that, like that... And for what??? Making the "right" decision, using the brain and leaving you whit a big black hole inside. Anyway, life goes on, I try to belive in karma and destiny, even when i dont se the sun rising in the morning. A good friend told me ones that i had to make my heart and brain walk togheter, maybe he was right but really its not easy to do, And when life is puching you feelings and the sens of love sometimes is a extravagance you cant afford. Sorry for not chering you up Newman (whoever you are), take care and for what its worth, life is changing all the time.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I so know what you mean. Before 2002 I was a sucessful IT consultant running my own business and running my self ragged trying to be a supermum. My husband didn't work he looked after our child and my life was one long round of work, travel, stress, etc etc.
Then he got cancer and subsequently died. I went for counselling and reassed my relationship with him. Actually it was not that happy and his death was a relief. I then looked at our life and realised it consisted of things not emotions. I through out so much.
Then I went on holiday to Egypt and got reaquanted with an Egyptian friend from some years back. the rest is history I married him and decied to give up the Western life and move to Egypt. I couldn't be happier. I have rediscovered what life is all about.
My sister in law doesn't have running water in her house and her husband hasn't been paid for 6 months. They are absolutely on the breadline. But when I was sick recently she dashed round to my house and spent the day looking after me, my daughter and my house for me.
The other day my mother in law was hand feeding me food because she cares about me so much.
The love and warmeth of this family arre priceless.
I feel so much of what we strive for in the West is hollow and a sham. I am luckt that I had this opportunity to come and live in my beloved Egypt with a man who loves me and a set of in laws that make my blood relatives look cold and unloving.
------------------ UK Co-owner of www.toursinluxor.co.uk Accommodation and Tours in Luxor
quote:Originally posted by newman575: I'm sorry to say that but I feel that we lost alot of great meanings from our life, or at least I can say from MY life.. I needn't to bother you or make u sad but I really need to share someone what I feel in side.. I feel that I live my life like a machine, work, eat, sleep and even playing sport just to keep on my health and lose power in a good way.. but there are no emotions in my life.. I feel that I live in a jail, every things chain me.. chain my acts.. and even my way in thinking. I don't know what I've to do but I needn't to lose my future but at the same time I needn't to continue my life by the same way.. so do u've a suggesyion to help me changing my life and make it better. I hope to start my life again by the new way..
well folks, i guess we share this feeling, i also feel the same, but sometimes i am trying to feel the warmth of these feelings that i miss in my freinds, but some other times , it s hard when u r sitting alone , thinking what u r going to do tonight, and u still want be keep your good manners by not doing wrongs , or go thru indicent relations, think for yourself , and by yourself, but don't worry buddy , it is just a mood of depression , enjoy being single , look at your married folks and u will find yourself cheered up
akshar: yes dear, this is our family values, and i am proud to be egyptian for this, but i fear that this values begin to slightly disapear bit by bit.
When I find myself in this kind of mood I force myself to do one of those things that is on my life "To do" list. Even if it's something small like going to buy a book from an author that was recomended. I find being able to read & get into a well written story takes my mind off my own problems
Or go visit an old friend, or perhaps do something selfless like looking through your closets & cabinets to see what you no longer need & donating it to someone more in need
Take heart & remember that this too shall pass, nothing lasts forever, good or bad. Until then give yourself a big hug!
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dear all life can be hard. i always tryed to do the right thing, think about how my actions afected others, always put others first. i ended up with a husband (now ex) who cheated on me (amoung other things) debts that did not belong to me and a very poor veiw of myself. it took me five years to get straight and save enough money to go back to university (now in my third year - two more terms to go!) I have learnt that when i make myself happy (making sure that i hurt no one) then i make others happy. i am now more whole than i have ever been. i am doing what i want for me i have the best friends in the world and i also include some of the people i have met here and have recently met a loverly egyptian man who i will be seeing soon What i am saying i think is to newman you are not alone. many of us have been where you are now. the way i made changes to my life was to decide what I wanted. i then sat down and worked out how to get them. im not talking about love here i am talking about the things you want and the things you have controle over. the smallest things seem to take the most efort when you have them under your belt the bigger ones seem easeyer. they also dont have to cost a fortune. maybe a world cruse is a bit big to start with, maybe decide to learn something new, change the way you walk to work, quit smoking. anything that can make you proud of yurself. remember you can make it better you can. akshar what a brave story, to be so honest, i feel humbled. what i would like to point out to newman is the fact that this story did not happen overnight, there were days of stress and heartach but small changes and realisations were made which led to bigger ones. the support that you have here will help, you dont have to live in jail, the big thing is that you want to make changes you have to work out how you are going to make them, one step at a time. take care of yourself. keep in touch. much love kay
Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by BoBBoSS: yes dear, this is our family values, and i am proud to be egyptian for this, but i fear that this values begin to slightly disapear bit by bit.
I fear you are right and many will see this as progress as Western values of commerce take over from Egyptian values of the family. I would like to say to all Egyptian people to stay true to their pricelss culture but feel I would be like King Cunte (English king who tried to stop the tide).
I have a 12 year old daughter and recently we had some American guests and she took the young children round to her aunts. These kids mocked the house and my sister in law for their poverty. My daughter told me about this later and she was in tears. She said Mansoura is not poor she has a rich heart. How privilaged I am that my Western daughter has learnt this lesson. It hasn't taken her more than a few months to see what they have here is infinately richer than everything she had in the West. She loves when we walk down to the shops everyone knows her and loads of people say hello and loads are from her extended family. Of course I am lucky that she speaks excellent Arabic (my late husband was also an Arab) but I think she is the kind of wise child that would have seen the truth without the advantage of having the language.
------------------ UK Co-owner of www.toursinluxor.co.uk Accommodation and Tours in Luxor
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You are very welcome to join me and to make boredom into a nice practice.
Boredom is a very large mountain to climb. We must all face it, but if we choose to sit with it until healing take place, it will return again and again.
Find creative and healthy ways for exploring our world, so that you have a balance in your life between mental and emotional stimulation, and times of quiet contemplation.
I personally see that this topic is too much related to Monica's topic about cyber romance, may be it is the way out.
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although it's so bad feeling and I wish no one feels it but I also feel happy cause I'm not the only one who feels that.. I also ,always, do my dest when I become in this mode but the problem is in the system of life.. and the loneliness which I feel inside, I always fear of tomorrow and don't know what I've to do. needn't to be alone anymore but also needn't to be with someone I don't love.. wish to have a children but I fear of their future.. hope to live my life day by day but I can't stop thinking about tomorrow.. some times I feel that I wish to change my whole life and find another job, another home and even another country.. and other times I thank god cause if everything I live in.. some times I feel that I need to make alot of things even though I konw there're bad deads, and I always do my best to prevent myself.. but other times I made and feel so sad after that.. I wish to live my life and enjoy it without making mistaks, I need love, fun, honest.. and peace.. but I don't know what I've to do..
Posts: 87 | From: Maadi, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2003
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It sounds like you have one way to help you to overcome some of the problems/tests/challenges you are facing, but you are not turning to it as often as you could...you say that you sometimes thank God for everything you have, why not also try turning to Him and asking Him to show you a way to resolve your current dilemma? Have a look through His Book and see what He says to you; if you look there sincerely you will find some of the answers you are looking for.
I am sure you know your deen as well as me, if not better, so I won’t turn this into a long message of advice, but just remember He never tests anyone with anything more than he can bear and the tests are given in the hope that you will come closer to Him through them. Praying that you find the answer to help you soon.
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hi folks Kay : you must be proud of yourself dear, now you are gaining the harvest, go on, belive me , we 'd all be proud of u .
akshar: i guess it depends on the way parents are bringing up their children , they will be able to havr our own culture or not, beside the personlity of the children themselves, but i see it most in the poor location .
monica: yes it is a very good way , and it is healthy too, intresting ,but risky because if he had the recessive action then he will be worst, i tried it myself once , and to tell u the truth , it was a cure.but as it was not the rght person , so it was a temprary cure. newman: i guess in each reply of the folks here, u will find something new to do , apply this, and be sure buddy that we all share these feelings, and pass through them , but for myself, one day i do like monica recommending, others i do like kay, others i sleep . but i guess friends, sports , going out , direct into ur relegion will be your best cure for now.
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dear newman i used to worry about 'tomorrow' all the time. it was only when i stoped thinking about 'tomorrow' that the next day stopped being a worry. some things we just cant do anything about! ok i know we all have worries, but if onw pays attention to the things one CAN do something about - putting out the trash, getting your hair done, letting your friends know you love them,(anything that you control) that the bigger things sort themselves - love, peace..... it is hard sweetheart but as you can see from the board, people care, it is often the only thing we can do to help. hang on in, dont give up and keep on writing. much love kay X
Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by kay in love: dear newman i used to worry about 'tomorrow' all the time. it was only when i stoped thinking about 'tomorrow' that the next day stopped being a worry. some things we just cant do anything about! ok i know we all have worries, but if onw pays attention to the things one CAN do something about - putting out the trash, getting your hair done, letting your friends know you love them,(anything that you control) that the bigger things sort themselves - love, peace..... it is hard sweetheart but as you can see from the board, people care, it is often the only thing we can do to help. hang on in, dont give up and keep on writing. much love kay X
Kay , what can i do if i have a totally oppposite situation ? i mean , i don't worry about tomorrow at all, i am not waiting any new thing to happen, i feel i am spending time, just spending time, but i always says , one day all this will ends, i will find a way out of this mood, now i am putting a new system to my daily life, and i changed my work , but u know Kay , here in egypt , u may find something so intresting, all of a sudden , i found my frineds all got married , 4 in one year, i am quite sure they will leave a hollow space ,to me at least, but i guess i will have to fill this space with something useful.
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hi BobBBoSS i guess as long as 'not worrying about tommorrow' is not causing problems then you are one of the lucky ones. i dont think that you HAVE to worry or not about tomorrow. it only gets out of hand when you start worrying about things you cant do anything about I know what you mean about friends moving away, getting married etc. now i am coming to the end of my degree i realise that the friends i have lived with and got close too are moving away as am i. i will miss them so much but thank goodness for the internet. it is the best way to keep in touch. i KNOW i am going to have such a hole in my life when i leave university. i am determined to 'fill' that hole with something (no idea what. maybe i will come and live in egypt for a year!!!?) what i do know is that it will be filled by ME. it may sound selfish, but i really do think that by making yourself happy you end up making thoes around you happy. sometimes BoBBoSS 'just spending time' is the best way. it lets you look at the bigger picture of your life and see what is comming! i also think that by sharing thoughts, however random, crazy or strange, in a forum like this lets us see things from a bit further away, so dont ever be down about 'just spending time' we all need a rest before big things happen, make the most of it!
dear newman how are you doing sweetheart?????? hope you are feeling a little better. keep in touch much love as always kay
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oh wow .. this truly triggered me .. i probably shouldnt be participating so soon .. i only just came across this forum a few hours ago .. but the message from newman is just very close to what im going through at the moment
i just got back from Sharm and miss it all terribly .. a feeling of loneliness is there and im reading all what you guys wrote / are writting to keep me company
ill just say this to you newman .. ive been saying it to myself for a day now .. the only constant in life is change .. it'll pass (hopefully)
[This message has been edited by shery-bery (edited 08 February 2004).]
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dear shery-bery dont worry about being new - keep posting! everyone very nice to newcomers as i have found out. kay X (seem to spend lots of time saying 'dont worry'! - maybe indication of new career as agony aunt!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha)
Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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i guess filling this whole by u , is not selfish at all, in fact this is the best thing we can do , filling it with anyone else is risky , cuz this one might not be there for us forever, or might not be the right one, and all my life , i am not used to take supports to stand up, but i agree that exchanging thoughts and spending time is wonderful and helps alot, but sometimes u may ask urself, what is my real problem?
Each day is like a present waiting to be unwrapped! You never know if it wil be good or bad but what excitement you can feel when you look at a new day in this way!
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dear newman where are you sweetie??????????? starting to worry much love and please tell us you are ok. kay ktkoota XXXXX
Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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Love to ad my thoughts too, You have all touched on things, feelings and loneliness that I have felt - strangely enough today it feels worse. Newman 575 perhaps your posting was meant to be - it is helping us all to be truthful about how we feel at times. On balance perhaps we are lucky to feel the depths of isolation and "what is it all about" feeling because it proves we can feel, appreciate the highs as well. Every thing passes, we have to see the darkness before we see the stars My last visit to Egypt was September last for 4 glorious weeks and I have had withdrawal symptoms ever since. It's the only time and place I feel alive. The Egyptian families we visit are genuine and show so much warmth, love and hospitality. The joy too we feel when we hug them is so overwhelming. It touches some thing deep inside. Perhaps I appreciate it more because my parents "didn't divorce" but lived in misery instead. My mother died 18 months ago and released me from her emotional blackmail etc. So I know I am lucky with all the material things in life - but that's not what it's about is it. Some times nothing or no one recharges my batteries so I have to give into it for a day or two and dust my self down and start again Sent with love to you all and I hope tomorrow will be brighter Posts: 100 | From: uk | Registered: Jun 2003
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alhamdulillah, I found the key for my happiness a while ago. I'm very blessed with Islam, a loving and caring husband and 3 wonderful kids. But still sometimes this dark grey feeling tries to take on, so what do I do?
1)stop in whatever you're doing, take some deep breaths, find a clean, bright, comfortable room, make yourself a cup of tea or whatever your favorite (send the kids away to the neighbours, friends, shopping whatever)
2) take time to compare yourself and your situation to those people who have been given less than you in health, money, emotions, life circumstances for a few minutes - you'll end up being more grateful for who you are and what you have
2) make a plan for the very next day (only the next day, not the whole week or months)for everything that needs to be done and incl. some useful actions, for a Muslim try to pray sincerely, to read Quran, invoke blessings on our Prophet Mohamed (saw) or say some other form of zikr (wa la hawla wa la quowata ila billah) whenever your thoughts start to blur again. try to help that old neighbor of yours, see if your bawab needs anything, give smiles and sweets to children... there are endless ways to brighten up your life and the life of others around you!
3) try to remember that this life is only the travel, the test, and what a short period of time it is compared to eternity, and the way to paradise may sometimes be hard.
4) if you are in desparate need of anything - just ask Allah for it, anything, from your heart
I wish all of you the very best of everything! salaam, Karin
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by karinfarid: [B]alhamdulillah, I found the key for my happiness a while ago. I'm very blessed with Islam, a loving and caring husband and 3 wonderful kids. But still sometimes this dark grey feeling tries to take on, so what do I do?
1)stop in whatever you're doing, take some deep breaths, find a clean, bright, comfortable room, make yourself a cup of tea or whatever your favorite (send the kids away to the neighbours, friends, shopping whatever)
2) take time to compare yourself and your situation to those people who have been given less than you in health, money, emotions, life circumstances for a few minutes - you'll end up being more grateful for who you are and what you have
2) make a plan for the very next day (only the next day, not the whole week or months)for everything that needs to be done and incl. some useful actions, for a Muslim try to pray sincerely, to read Quran, invoke blessings on our Prophet Mohamed (saw) or say some other form of zikr (wa la hawla wa la quowata ila billah) whenever your thoughts start to blur again. try to help that old neighbor of yours, see if your bawab needs anything, give smiles and sweets to children... there are endless ways to brighten up your life and the life of others around you!
3) try to remember that this life is only the travel, the test, and what a short period of time it is compared to eternity, and the way to paradise may sometimes be hard.
4) if you are in desparate need of anything - just ask Allah for it, anything, from your heart
i guess karin u really touched the core of the solution here, and i belive it is so far true, but the most important is the strength to find this way when u r feeling down.
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BoBBoSS i belive that the strength to find a way to do this is in three parts start with 1. inside yourself if this is impossable 2. with the help of friends or familly (on line or in real time) and always 3. with the help of your own spirituality or faith. (we all belive in something)
it is good to remember to keep communicating too. this is why i find this forum so good - lighthearted but still able to talk about big issues.
you are very right; and I want to add a tip my husband got from a young man of about 90 years who looks like 50 because he is young and happy at heart:
Don't live with anger or rancour against anybody in your heart, or with anybody being angry with you - SOUNDS pretty simple?
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hello, i have love story with egyptian boy, i'm christian and he's muslin,he want to make a marriage with me,there is love between me and he. Is there somedady that can give me some advices??? Thank you.
Karinfarid I agree with you- Yes it does create joy in my heart to help others - which I am constantly doing. It may be my grown up children, neighbours, friends and the Egyptian orphanage and families I have come to know on my visits. But it doesn't stop the odd day when you or rather I just feel down. I think as I have said before we have to see the darkness before we see the stars!! I am feeling back to normal now thanks (what ever normal is!!!!!!)
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dear black angel have a look back over some of the other threads. i got lots of help/advice/support in the thread 'am i mad?' many of us have stories to tell and questions to ask. you sound like you have a problem - what exactly is it - maybe we could help more if you were specific. keep in touch much love kay ktkoota X
Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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i agree with both of u , in fact i personally applies whaht ur grand ma said, when i am down , i look for someone to help him, it is a habbit i used to keep
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hi dearfriends, I'm so glad with your advices and I believe that love is the solution cuz it the most important thing in our lifeto find someone sharing you in everything even in you nights.. BUT I can't make a relation just to enjoy it.. and find someone to feel fun with.. NO when I'll start looking for a partner it means I'm looking for a wife.. and it's another problem cause most of egyptians marriages look like a deal, you've to pay much money to marry the girl you love.. but I can't imagine to buy someone.. I need LOVE.. I wish to love someone and she loves me in return and we build our future together.. DREAMY GUY?!!!! yes I know but it's real I need LOVE by it's real mean and that's why I'm sure that I'll spend my whole life alone just dreaming..
Posts: 87 | From: Maadi, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2003
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quote:Originally posted by newman575: hi dearfriends, I'm so glad with your advices and I believe that love is the solution cuz it the most important thing in our lifeto find someone sharing you in everything even in you nights.. BUT I can't make a relation just to enjoy it.. and find someone to feel fun with.. NO when I'll start looking for a partner it means I'm looking for a wife.. and it's another problem cause most of egyptians marriages look like a deal, you've to pay much money to marry the girl you love.. but I can't imagine to buy someone.. I need LOVE.. I wish to love someone and she loves me in return and we build our future together.. DREAMY GUY?!!!! yes I know but it's real I need LOVE by it's real mean and that's why I'm sure that I'll spend my whole life alone just dreaming..
welcome back my friend, we were wondering what u were doing? ,love can be a way , but it is not the only way , try to apply the advices beslieve me it works, it worked out with me, after sometime u will forget ur lonliness , but it will not come fast , u must work for it, and let me tell u something my freind, to have a good wife is completly different from what u have said, the most it is not a bargain, look for the family my friend also , it is as important as the girl , if u put that in ur mind , then u will not be dreamy.
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welcome back dear friend Newman we had almost given u up as lost. im glad some of the thoughts have helped. i dont know a great deal about egyptian marrage customs but think that maybe the idea of paying to marry someone is less of a 'deal' than u think. doweries and such are often exchanged as a sign of respect and of commitment - something that is often lost here in the west. do all egyptian marrages start with a payment of some sort - what sort of costs are we looking at? or is it a case of token payment - i ask out of genuine interest. what would happen if two people fell in love but had little money? the only advice i can give you at the moment is that once you love yourself then you become easeyer to love. enjoy being alive and love will find you my friend. hope you are feeling better keep in touch much love kay X
Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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We have Mahr which is given to the bride which she can keep even if divorced unless she wishes to expedite divorce by forfeiting the mahr. Also we have shabka which is the same as in the West. Shabka is merely a piece of jewelry, usually a ring. Usually a gold ring, sometimes a diamond ring more recently. These two things alone are more than most can afford. Then add in that the man must have a flat or villa, often must have a car, and then be able to support the wife and future children. Financing homes and cars is not so common as in the Western countries so most rely on their families. It is really difficult for most guys to get married because all of these costs. The more that the man has, the more that is demanded by the womans family, so even for those that are somewhat affluent marriage still poses a financial challenge. More families are being flexible on this but they are a tiny minority. They are realizing that their daughters will never marry if they ask too much. :P A friend of mine walked out on negotiating with the family of his love interest because they were so obnoxiously greedy he felt he was being seriously taken advantage of. So he isn't marrying this girl because of the greed of her parents. THIS is one thing that really must change rapidly if Egypt wants to keep orfi marriages, pre-marital sex and pregnancy down, because people aren't going to let their parents greed ruin their relationships forever. Posts: 238 | Registered: Jan 2004
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thank you Undead i did not realise that it was the perents that set 'prices' no wonder orfi is looking like an option. it is so sad about your friend not getting married - i feel so sorry for the girl involved. is there no way they could be together without upsetting customs and familly? love kay X Posts: 128 | From: uk | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: I so know what you mean. Before 2002 I was a sucessful IT consultant running my own business and running my self ragged trying to be a supermum. My husband didn't work he looked after our child and my life was one long round of work, travel, stress, etc etc.
Then he got cancer and subsequently died. I went for counselling and reassed my relationship with him. Actually it was not that happy and his death was a relief. I then looked at our life and realised it consisted of things not emotions. I through out so much.
Then I went on holiday to Egypt and got reaquanted with an Egyptian friend from some years back. the rest is history I married him and decied to give up the Western life and move to Egypt. I couldn't be happier. I have rediscovered what life is all about.
My sister in law doesn't have running water in her house and her husband hasn't been paid for 6 months. They are absolutely on the breadline. But when I was sick recently she dashed round to my house and spent the day looking after me, my daughter and my house for me.
The other day my mother in law was hand feeding me food because she cares about me so much.
The love and warmeth of this family arre priceless.
I feel so much of what we strive for in the West is hollow and a sham. I am luckt that I had this opportunity to come and live in my beloved Egypt with a man who loves me and a set of in laws that make my blood relatives look cold and unloving.
isn't that unique...miss precious..you marry the man you were see on holiday while your poor husband was dying
Then he got cancer and subsequently died. I went for counselling and reassed my relationship with him. Actually it was not that happy and his death was a relief. I then looked at our life and realised it consisted of things not emotions. I through out so much.
Hmm, ouch. Does your daughter know you feel this way about her father?
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: I so know what you mean. Before 2002 I was a sucessful IT consultant running my own business and running my self ragged trying to be a supermum. My husband didn't work he looked after our child and my life was one long round of work, travel, stress, etc etc.
Then he got cancer and subsequently died. I went for counselling and reassed my relationship with him. Actually it was not that happy and his death was a relief. I then looked at our life and realised it consisted of things not emotions. I through out so much.
Then I went on holiday to Egypt and got reaquanted with an Egyptian friend from some years back. the rest is history I married him and decied to give up the Western life and move to Egypt. I couldn't be happier. I have rediscovered what life is all about.
My sister in law doesn't have running water in her house and her husband hasn't been paid for 6 months. They are absolutely on the breadline. But when I was sick recently she dashed round to my house and spent the day looking after me, my daughter and my house for me.
The other day my mother in law was hand feeding me food because she cares about me so much.
The love and warmeth of this family arre priceless.
I feel so much of what we strive for in the West is hollow and a sham. I am luckt that I had this opportunity to come and live in my beloved Egypt with a man who loves me and a set of in laws that make my blood relatives look cold and unloving.
Just want to grab this before you edit.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by sonomod: Hmm, ouch. Does your daughter know you feel this way about her father?
I'm sure she does, SonoMAD. Children are pretty smart. But you wouldn't know that since you abandoned yours. Children can see the good and the bad and form their own opinions. What will yours think about you???
quote:Originally posted by Darkeyes: I'm sure she does, SonoMAD. Children are pretty smart. But you wouldn't know that since you abandoned yours. Children can see the good and the bad and form their own opinions. What will yours think about you???
At least akshar's daughter will never have to ask why she was shipped off to be raised by relatives! I agree Darkeyes, children do see the good and bad and form their own opinions. When it comes to a child, no one, including grandparents can ever fill the void of an absent mother. Personally, my death, would be the only reason for someone else to be caring for my child!
quote:Originally posted by lynn: At least akshar's daughter will never have to ask why she was shipped off to be raised by relatives! I agree Darkeyes, children do see the good and bad and form their own opinions. When it comes to a child, no one, including grandparents can ever fill the void of an absent mother. Personally, my death, would be the only reason for someone else to be caring for my child!
When I went over to see my in-laws the first time, I was only supposed to be apart from her for 5 months.
Then it changed, I don't know whether our immigration lawyer was ignorant (not knowing) or they had changed the regulations, but I was told 4 months after I returned that I couldn't join her until my husband was naturalized. If I moved at that time, our marriage petition would be void and the INS would deport him.
waiting period to re-active the marriage petition is 6 years. I am not waiting that long only to be put through this hell for another 3 years or longer.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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