posted
Hi everybody! I'm one of the hundreds european women mocked by an egyptian man... But I don't want to repeat the same things already said, I just want to help an italian girl that has just moved to Sharm in order to live for ever with a man that the day before her arrival asked me to marry him and just live together with the money of this poor girl. He doesn't love her, but just her wallet and assured me that as soon as she will have bought him a house, a shop and a car he will throw her away... I tried to make her open her eyes but she doesn't want to believe me and she thinks I'm just jelous... I'm not in love with him, I'm just full of rage because this man has a stone in place of his heart... I don't know how to help her before she can do something wrong... but she doesn't want to talk with me... If someone can give me some advice i will give all the details of the persons of this story... Tx everybody! Posts: 38 | From: Italy | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Dear Maruska I live in Sharm with my husband and both of us are sick of this sort of thing. We have some very high level contacts with the police and may be able to help. I am wary to get involved with this sort of thing as there are often two sides but if you think I can help then let me know. Maybe just a quiet word in the right place could help.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Penny, you are the angel I was looking for!!! I know that this kind of story happen every day in these places... but for my luck I've never been involved in such a situation... I'm not in love this man, even if he said to love me so much, asked to marry him and to have a child (just last week!!!) I can't believe that such persons can exist in the world! His name is Yasser, live and work in Sharm el Sheikh and has a papirus shop in Horizon Sharm Resort (Nabq Bay) This poor girl is from Rome, she left everything here in Italy (she sold her house, car and she left her job) and now I know she's buying a house there, a shop and a car and she wants to name all these things to him!!! He wanted to have a partnership with me in this bad story (said he wanted to steal all her money and to live with me... horrible!!!) But the worst thing is that she doesn't want to believe me (I tried to call her in order to let her eyes be opened, but he told her I'm crazy and bla bla bla...) So, I don't know what to do to punish him! Tx a lot Maruska
quote:Originally posted by Penny: Dear Maruska I live in Sharm with my husband and both of us are sick of this sort of thing. We have some very high level contacts with the police and may be able to help. I am wary to get involved with this sort of thing as there are often two sides but if you think I can help then let me know. Maybe just a quiet word in the right place could help.
posted
It never fails to amaze me that there are women so stupid as to part with money like this. When I bought my flat in Sharm my husband insisted it was in my name and then I went one step further and bought it through my own English company. Even several years later he still calls it my flat when to me it is our home, he pays for all the running costs and services charges. I have sometimes lent him money to help in his business but we always formally document everything and he is so happy when he can pay it back.
To be honest I would also say some women come here almost with a shopping list. They want to buy the flat, the car, the business, and then oh yes they want the man as well so which one should she buy. Is it any wonder these situations arise. I even heard of woman recently who change the man at the last minute because she found a better looking one. I feel sorry for the men as much as the women sometimes. It would be very wrong for me to get directly involved with this situation but if you give me full names and details to my Email then yes I will put a word in the right place.
[This message has been edited by Penny (edited 03 March 2004).]
well, to be honest with you, there are a lot of stupid european women every day in sharm and hurghada and a lot of "gigolos" and "prostitues" who are working in this business. Criminal and organized in the meantime. Some of them have 5,6 or more Orfi-wifes and are living onl rom their money. Shamely for the 99 % rest of egyptian men and shamely for the country. This men have only one target: free sex, money, and a better life - nothing else. later, after they got everything from the poor and folled woman, they marry an egyptian girl, who is a virgin - of course - and have kids. I dont know, why your girl friend does not believe you - but may be it helps here, if she calls the italian embassy to have more information. As far as i know, they have hundreds of cases like this!!! Tell your girl friend that she can buye a house under her name, a car under her name and she will see, as soon as he know this - he will go! there is no reason to buye anything under his name - what does she want to explain him? That she loves him? Tell her, that no egyptian men would take any piaster from a woman he loves - its a shame!!!!
May be you can open her eyes if she has more infos about egypt, may be, she wakes up - hope so!!! I wish you good luck! from aischa with love
quote:Originally posted by Maruska: Hi everybody! I'm one of the hundreds european women mocked by an egyptian man... But I don't want to repeat the same things already said, I just want to help an italian girl that has just moved to Sharm in order to live for ever with a man that the day before her arrival asked me to marry him and just live together with the money of this poor girl. He doesn't love her, but just her wallet and assured me that as soon as she will have bought him a house, a shop and a car he will throw her away... I tried to make her open her eyes but she doesn't want to believe me and she thinks I'm just jelous... I'm not in love with him, I'm just full of rage because this man has a stone in place of his heart... I don't know how to help her before she can do something wrong... but she doesn't want to talk with me... If someone can give me some advice i will give all the details of the persons of this story... Tx everybody!
posted
Hi Aischa, the only reason why she's doing all this is that she's completely in love with him and she's like blind! She doesn't want to believe that the man that asked her to marry him could be so disgusting! So for her it's easier to consider me a bitch liar! Surely this girl will wake up too late from this nightmare... Tx Maruska Posts: 38 | From: Italy | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I guess she thinks that you have something to lose. You can try reasoning with her in a more neutral way that doesn't suggest you're jealous - that doesn't suggest there's anything wrong with her boyfriend, but rather focuses on common sense when one is buying in a foreign country. Try suggesting she get a lawyer through the embassy to give her legal advise, etc. Explain that foreigners CAN own property in Egypt, etc. Who knows -- he may be telling her everything needs to be in his name bcs she can't own property in Egypt.
Your alternative is to confront the guy and try to scare him, saying you will report him to the egyptian tourism police and your embassy for fraud. It depends on your credibility to follow up with such a threat in his eyes. But if you make him believe he will have to deal with your embassy and the authorities -- not just your word against his to his girl -- he may not want this kind of trouble. Especially if he's got plenty of these schemes going.
Really, at the end of the day, if this woman wants to give him something that is hers, she will and there is nothing anyone can do about it except her.
posted
It is very honourable that you are trying to prevent. But in fact if she doesn't want to see, she have to go through this experience. You tried your best. And she got all the information she needs to prevent big harms for herself. If she doen't want to take care about all she heart, it's her own deal. Maybe you can give her the tip to go into this forum to see whats going on with other cases. I went through this experience on my own. I didn't want to hear to anything which I was being told. Maybe thats why I am now too distrustful. But its for my own sake. I don't want to go through this experience never again. I lost my career, my money, my selfconfidence (which was rather the worst). But sometime the worst things in life leads you to the best what can happen. So after 5 years I am just about to start a complete new profession which is makes me more confident that my old profession ever did. Maybe it's "kismet" for her, that she has to go through it. Try to see it like this way. You did every thing you could.
Posts: 53 | From: Frankfurt, Germany | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
When a Muslim Egyptian man gets married to a Muslim Egyptian woman who is 'richer' than him, she can ask for a clause in the contract, that gives HER the RIGHT to divorce HIM if she decides so.
It is called: 'El Essmah' in her hands...which means the power to 'divorce' HIM is in her hand.
That is to 'protect' women from someone that would be after their money.
In your friend's case she obviously needs serious legal guidance to be 'protected', and that could start at her embassy!
quote:Originally posted by ExptinCAI: Your alternative is to confront the guy and try to scare him, saying you will report him to the egyptian tourism police and your embassy for fraud. It depends on your credibility to follow up with such a threat in his eyes. But if you make him believe he will have to deal with your embassy and the authorities -- not just your word against his to his girl -- he may not want this kind of trouble. Especially if he's got plenty of these schemes going.
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 03 March 2004).]
posted
Yes Monica, but, as many people here said, if she doesn't want to be helped I can't do anything!!! She thinks I'm inventing all this bad stories about him just to have him back (and it's absolutely not true...) Through a friend of mine there I tried to give her my phone number, my e.mail address just to talk with her and to tell her to be careful and so on... but she wants to believe just in him... Anyway, the thing that very hurt is that he's reaching his aim, that is take advantage of the economic situation of this girl... and if I had been more stupid surely he would have broken seriously my heart and my selfconfidence! I think such people have to pay!
quote:Originally posted by Monica: When an Muslim Egyptian man gets married to a Muslim Egyptian woman who is 'richer' than him, she can ask for a clause in the contract, that gives HER the RIGHT to divorce HIM if she decides so.
It is called: 'El Essmah' in her hands...which means the power to 'divorce' HIM is in her hand.
That is to 'protect' women from someone that would be after their money.
In your friend's case she obviously needs serious legal guidance to be 'protected' and that could start at her embassy!
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 03 March 2004).]
posted
Ciao amica, I feel sorry for her in a way, because she is not in a 'sane' condition at the moment.
I guess 'love' blinds people, and sometimes it's too late. But you did all you could to help her. The only thing left is to report him. And, don't expect any appreciation from her part, unless she snaps out of 'loooove'.
Is that really 'love'?? where is self-respect then in this equation?
I'm happy you got away from the trap though, wonderful to hear that...you at least have your dignity!
Cheers! Monica ........................................... Self-respect is the answer
quote:Originally posted by Maruska: Yes Monica, but, as many people here said, if she doesn't want to be helped I can't do anything!!! She thinks I'm inventing all this bad stories about him just to have him back (and it's absolutely not true...) Through a friend of mine there I tried to give her my phone number, my e.mail address just to talk with her and to tell her to be careful and so on... but she wants to believe just in him... Anyway, the thing that very hurt is that he's reaching his aim, that is take advantage of the economic situation of this girl... and if I had been more stupid surely he would have broken seriously my heart and my selfconfidence! I think such people have to pay!
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 03 March 2004).]
posted
Report him? How? I think he's very afraid of me now, because he knows that I know everything and can be a problem for him... What do you think about just frightened him? ciao
quote:Originally posted by Monica: Ciao amica, I feel sorry for her in a way, because she is not in a 'sane' condition at the moment.
I guess 'love' blinds people, and sometimes it's too late. But you did all you could to help her. The only thing left is to report him. And, don't expect any appreciation from her part, unless she snaps out of 'loooove'.
Is that really 'love'?? where is self-respect then in this equation?
I'm happy you got away from the trap though, wonderful to hear that...you at least have your dignity!
posted
If you go to YOUR embassy, and ask to file an official complaint - since you were somehow involved - that could be a GREAT help for your friend, and many other girls to come.
My advice: Don't even talk to HIM anymore. Ignore him. Do the official complaint and then move on with your life.
This way, you would have done all you could to help.
posted
Monica, thanks a lot! You always have kind words and good advices for everyone... Tx again Maruska
quote:Originally posted by Monica: If you go to YOUR embassy, and ask to file an official complaint - since you were somehow involved - that could be a GREAT help for your friend, and many other girls to come.
My advice: Don't even talk to HIM anymore. Ignore him. Do the official complaint and then move on with your life.
This way, you would have done all you could to help.
quote:Originally posted by Monica: If you go to YOUR embassy, and ask to file an official complaint - since you were somehow involved - that could be a GREAT help for your friend, and many other girls to come.
My advice: Don't even talk to HIM anymore. Ignore him. Do the official complaint and then move on with your life.
This way, you would have done all you could to help.
Monica is absolutely right... do what you can and move on.
posted
People, thanks to everybody! I love Egypt and it's a shame too see that many people have to use lies and dramas to get some cents... I even heard someone telling stories about sick parents... what a pity! Don't let these people destroy the beauty of Egypt... Let's think about it... Posts: 38 | From: Italy | Registered: Jan 2004
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Arrange a meeting with the guy ,,as far as i know he likes you ,,, in some romantic moment you just can get him talking about it while you are having your small little tiny recorder .....
or get him into your place ,,,and invite her to come a round .
but do you think is good idea for all of you to get all of this story in public ,,,may be you only wanna revenge ,,,and there is no italian girl involoved ..
posted
Dear MotherEgypt, surely I wanna revenge but this is another story... If I was another person I should have agreed with his purposal of living with him at this girl expenses... bleah! The matter now is not to allow him becoming rich upon the shoulder of his "wife"...
quote:Originally posted by MotherEgypt: MARSUKA
Arrange a meeting with the guy ,,as far as i know he likes you ,,, in some romantic moment you just can get him talking about it while you are having your small little tiny recorder .....
or get him into your place ,,,and invite her to come a round .
but do you think is good idea for all of you to get all of this story in public ,,,may be you only wanna revenge ,,,and there is no italian girl involoved ..
posted
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Maruska: [B]Dear MotherEgypt, surely I wanna revenge but this is another story... If I was another person I should have agreed with his purposal of living with him at this girl expenses... bleah! The matter now is not to allow him becoming rich upon the shoulder of his "wife"...
Dear /maruska it is nice when you help others ,,,but do not go so far ,you did what you have to do ,,In egypt we said advise your friend 3 times and if he does not accept your advise ,let him drowning or when your friend fall down in the same place 3 times take his hand and if he falls for the 4th time ,,push him down ,
Revenge is hate and hate brings you evil out ,,remember jesus and forgive
posted
MotherEgypt, I agree with you about revenge... Basically, I'm not an evil person and never ask for revenge... In this case I've been so offended in my personal dignity and I can't think he's now laughing because I know everything but I can't do anything to stop him! It's a sense of impotence that doesn't make me sleep... Really, it's incredible!
quote:Originally posted by MotherEgypt: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Maruska: [B]Dear MotherEgypt, surely I wanna revenge but this is another story... If I was another person I should have agreed with his purposal of living with him at this girl expenses... bleah! The matter now is not to allow him becoming rich upon the shoulder of his "wife"...
Dear /maruska it is nice when you help others ,,,but do not go so far ,you did what you have to do ,,In egypt we said advise your friend 3 times and if he does not accept your advise ,let him drowning or when your friend fall down in the same place 3 times take his hand and if he falls for the 4th time ,,push him down ,
Revenge is hate and hate brings you evil out ,,remember jesus and forgive
posted
Dear Maruska why don't we write to the responsible of the Horizon Hotel in Sharm, or call him directly, to say him that one of the worst snake of the world is working there?? Si potrebbe provare, che ne dici? Ciao
Posts: 31 | From: italy | Registered: Nov 2003
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Maruska, You're wrong on one thing here. Love is enough for her because she's got the best of both worlds. She's got someone to hold her in the middle of the night, someone to reach out to, to make love to, someone to spend weekends and holidays with. Why on earth would she give all that up?
U did the right thing about calling her, I don't think that making an official complaint, coz no body can stop her if she is in love.
Finally, I know that there are women out there who won’t break off a relationship without having another one to take its place. So give me her mail address..lol
posted
I wish i could help .., why do men do this , I am married to an egyptian, heofferd to pay for my car payment if i come to live with him, now at the last minute - he says his income has changes, yes he bought the plane ticket, and will pay for all my food rent all when i am ther, but now he tells me i must sell my car. I am so angry over this because i he told me he would pay and now he says no, even after he bought the plane ticket - how can i give this up - he has a free marriage contract - i mean i out nothing in there demanding mah etc. so how can he jsut do this at the last minute, right now i do not even want to see him. MEN - why they play like this, he canot even realize that i worked for over 3.5 years to buy this, and have only 1.5 years left to pay,
Posts: 59 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
tlc, why can't you pay for your own car? I don't understand how you can think that your husband should have to pay for your plane ticket, housing, food and car. Perhaps I've misunderstood, but it sounds like you're negotiating an employment contract rather than a marriage.
Posts: 86 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
it's common for the husband to provide financials for the wife in egypt and often the norm. many men would not accept that the wife needs to contribute to the financial support of the couple (there's a difference btw. needing to and choosing to however).
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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Dear Noor, already done.. Spoke with Horizon's Manager and told many interesting things about this beetle and he listened to me with great attention... Unfortunately when the police went there for a check this person had moved away from Horizon the night before... I've been informed he wants to open a new shop by his own (with his wife's money) in N.ma Bay but I don't know where exactly... Ciao e grazie
quote:Originally posted by Noor-77X: Dear Maruska why don't we write to the responsible of the Horizon Hotel in Sharm, or call him directly, to say him that one of the worst snake of the world is working there?? Si potrebbe provare, che ne dici? Ciao
posted
FOR ADOULA: First you judge this story stupid and then you want to have her email address? Don't you think it's a bit ozzy? Please, if you think this is a stupid story don't reply to our postings but to other ones you consider more interesting than this...
quote:Originally posted by Adoula: OH MY GOD! this stupid story works again!
Maruska, You're wrong on one thing here. Love is enough for her because she's got the best of both worlds. She's got someone to hold her in the middle of the night, someone to reach out to, to make love to, someone to spend weekends and holidays with. Why on earth would she give all that up?
U did the right thing about calling her, I don't think that making an official complaint, coz no body can stop her if she is in love.
Finally, I know that there are women out there who won’t break off a relationship without having another one to take its place. So give me her mail address..lol
posted
Dear maruska, I am sorry that your girl friend does not listen to you and I am sorry for such an egypt man who is given a very bad reputation to his own country. But this is not the first story I've heard and not the first shop which will be paid by a stupid woman in love. I know much more terrible stories, more badly and more sadly than this one. Stories from women they have killed themselves and stories from women they loose everything in live. You can make a last try and take your girl friend to the embassy. They have attorneys there. Or, if nothing helps, try to find a neutral third person who explain her in a serious way what is going on with this guy. You can also go to the tourist police. I wish you good luck from aischa with love
quote:Originally posted by Maruska: Dear Noor, already done.. Spoke with Horizon's Manager and told many interesting things about this beetle and he listened to me with great attention... Unfortunately when the police went there for a check this person had moved away from Horizon the night before... I've been informed he wants to open a new shop by his own (with his wife's money) in N.ma Bay but I don't know where exactly... Ciao e grazie
posted
Ya Maruska, I'm not judging you or your story or anything, I just wanted to say that I personally got bored from those Egyptians who do this and give others bad impression about us.
I wouldn't interfere into the relationship of two adults. Who gives anyone the right? I would start this topic if the woman would ask for help. Anyway who knows the full story? Well we are kind of used to hearing stories about Egyptian men mistreating Western women. The ES forum is full of it. Its said that it should warn other women. But it doesn't change anything, foreign women still coming and coming .........
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
You're perfectly right! Even if they are warned, western women are coming and coming... maybe they like being mistreated! Posts: 38 | From: Italy | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Maybe still many of them just dont know about the big differences between islamic countries and the western world. I talk to so many people and there are lots who can even not imagine that something like this is existing. There are still western woman who grew up very conservatively, who can not imagine, that men do this. But I think this is and should be one of the BIG OPPORTUNITIES of forums like this one to show the world what is going on. Good things and bad things. And I personally believe, that there are many of western woman who really honestly, fall in love with guys because at first sight they are so different, so handsome, so smart, so gentleman like, so romantic, so lovable, etc. etc. All the thinks which the European guys not seem to be anymore. And then "Bang" they realize, that after ages of having experiences with western woman, these guys learnt how to cheat and how to get only the best for themselves out of it. It's the fault of both sides. But nevertheless, this is absolutely the right media to teach others, to make this public and to maybe be part of a process of change, even if it is boring for some members.
Posts: 53 | From: Frankfurt, Germany | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Jutta's right! I think that this forum can be a good opportunity for many women to know the truth. Great Maruska! As per this girl who doesn't want to believe you, I think she has to read this forum... Does anyone know her? she surely will escape immediately and then she surely believe in what Maruska had said... Posts: 11 | From: Italy | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Ok, just for my understanding will u please explain to me something. I will agree with you that certainly there are differences between the western and muslim cultures (or at least let us assume so for the sake of argument) how do such differences influnce that a man being handsome or not,romantic or not, gentle or not, fraud a woman? I strongly beleive it has nothing to do with proper culture but with poverty or not. what do u think?
quote:Originally posted by Jutta: Maybe still many of them just dont know about the big differences between islamic countries and the western world. I talk to so many people and there are lots who can even not imagine that something like this is existing. There are still western woman who grew up very conservatively, who can not imagine, that men do this. But I think this is and should be one of the BIG OPPORTUNITIES of forums like this one to show the world what is going on. Good things and bad things. And I personally believe, that there are many of western woman who really honestly, fall in love with guys because at first sight they are so different, so handsome, so smart, so gentleman like, so romantic, so lovable, etc. etc. All the thinks which the European guys not seem to be anymore. And then "Bang" they realize, that after ages of having experiences with western woman, these guys learnt how to cheat and how to get only the best for themselves out of it. It's the fault of both sides. But nevertheless, this is absolutely the right media to teach others, to make this public and to maybe be part of a process of change, even if it is boring for some members.
posted
It has absolutely nothing to do with poverty. Many people don't cheat on other people - if its a man or woman - they stay honest, loyal, helpful and giving, they have high moral and values. I've seen the most friendly and respectable people ever in Egypt - depart from some sleazy ******** who we spend wasting our time here on this forum.
We just need to address this over and over again. There are many hearts getting broken by Egyptian men in Hurghada and other resort areas. Yes there are good honest men also living and working but most female tourists have way more contact with the sneaky ones.
And certainly I don't think these guys are any different from the others hanging out in the touristic areas around the globe. It's on the woman to wake up and smell the coffee ......... before its too late. Or you come with the rule not to get involved with any man while on your vacation (but unfortunately many women coming for this reason and they are not prepared).
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Dear kimo, I can only talk from my own experiences, as I have lived in Turkey for 2 years, have travelled to Tunisia and Marocco and have some good turkish and saudi arabian friends here in Germany. The males grow up with a completely different attitude towards women. You also find this in the thousands of arabian romantic and tragic films around the globe. The grow up with believing, that the most important thing you have to do (BEFORE MARRIAGE)is to be very smart and romantic etc. etc. Their behaviour after marriage is another subject. Regarding the difference between Koran and Bible: Only in the Koran you find it written "by Allah" that a man has also the duty to make his wife content regarding sex. Only few woman know, that they have the right to be divorced, if their man becoming impotent for example. According to language, you will find out, that there are in no other language so many different words for LOVE than in Arabic. But on the other hand, you will find only few films, stories or whatever today, in which there is the focus led on i.e. the respect a man must have towards his wife, or how proud he can be, because she is well educated, has a top career or something of that kind. To be a respectable muslim woman is a different thing than being a respectable western woman. Did you know, that in Europe there are existing special Managment seminars where you learn how to smile, how to look directly in someones eyes because this is seen as a sign of honesty. From my muslim friends and colleagues I was told, that this is exactly the opposite for muslim woman, looking directly into a mans eyes means to flirt with him, and if you additionally smile very open to him, thats some kind of an offer to him. So you see, there are lots of differences. My friends in Turkey for example taught me, that to search for a bride, means to check her family inside out, to look if she is nice looking and of a good health and if she learned quite well to cook and keep the household going. Then you have several talks with the family and then they marry. When I told them, that in Europe, man and woman test theirselves, if they have the same interests, hobbies, things they like and dislike etc, that they go out a while to see if they can have a nice time together, they were laughing at me, because they couldnt imagine, that this is important for a good relationship/marriage.
Posts: 53 | From: Frankfurt, Germany | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Dear Jutta, the picture you made is very clear and let us perfectly understand both the two cultures... Anyway this has nothing to do with the bad behaviour some muslim men have towards western women... They feel free to tell big lies and in many cases to stole their money and play with their feelings... Ok, because of the poverty, ok because of this and that, but passing the time this will be very dangerous for those places like Sharm, Hurgada ecc... because, when the story will be of public domain and all these persons' names will be well known all over the world, those men won't be so self confident and brillant anymore.... I hope that all those hurted women will have the strength to stand up and denounce everything in order to let them pay for all!
quote:Originally posted by Jutta: Dear kimo, I can only talk from my own experiences, as I have lived in Turkey for 2 years, have travelled to Tunisia and Marocco and have some good turkish and saudi arabian friends here in Germany. The males grow up with a completely different attitude towards women. You also find this in the thousands of arabian romantic and tragic films around the globe. The grow up with believing, that the most important thing you have to do (BEFORE MARRIAGE)is to be very smart and romantic etc. etc. Their behaviour after marriage is another subject. Regarding the difference between Koran and Bible: Only in the Koran you find it written "by Allah" that a man has also the duty to make his wife content regarding sex. Only few woman know, that they have the right to be divorced, if their man becoming impotent for example. According to language, you will find out, that there are in no other language so many different words for LOVE than in Arabic. But on the other hand, you will find only few films, stories or whatever today, in which there is the focus led on i.e. the respect a man must have towards his wife, or how proud he can be, because she is well educated, has a top career or something of that kind. To be a respectable muslim woman is a different thing than being a respectable western woman. Did you know, that in Europe there are existing special Managment seminars where you learn how to smile, how to look directly in someones eyes because this is seen as a sign of honesty. From my muslim friends and colleagues I was told, that this is exactly the opposite for muslim woman, looking directly into a mans eyes means to flirt with him, and if you additionally smile very open to him, thats some kind of an offer to him. So you see, there are lots of differences. My friends in Turkey for example taught me, that to search for a bride, means to check her family inside out, to look if she is nice looking and of a good health and if she learned quite well to cook and keep the household going. Then you have several talks with the family and then they marry. When I told them, that in Europe, man and woman test theirselves, if they have the same interests, hobbies, things they like and dislike etc, that they go out a while to see if they can have a nice time together, they were laughing at me, because they couldnt imagine, that this is important for a good relationship/marriage.
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