posted
Hi again everybody, I have a question in for all the ladies of ES. What turns you off the most about a man. Either you can be married, living together, friends, or you just knowing each other.
posted
Brian Well I would have to say I agree with all the above, Monica did the big ones and then I would also add.......... the way a man eats can be such a turn off..... for some men and sorry but I am talking Egyptian now.....it's like it's their last meal and there is no tomorrow and ohhhhhhh the noises !!! where were their mothers when they were growing up.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Monica: Personal higyene is also very important.
Completely agree! If he doesn't pay attantion to it, I willn't pay attantion to him.
Greed - I hate it in people, but in men especially.
Unrealiable men - men that are afraid of taking the responsibility for their actions. Frankly speaking I just hate such men, men, who think they are old enough to take all the pleasures but too young to take the responsibility of their actions and words.
Baseness and cowardice - if he has it, he is not a man.IMHO
And i also don't like not self confident guys (not only guys, however, but people), who try to feel themselfs more selfconfident by humiliating others.
Posts: 287 | From: Moscow Russia | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: Brian Well I would have to say I agree with all the above, Monica did the big ones and then I would also add.......... the way a man eats can be such a turn off..... for some men and sorry but I am talking Egyptian now.....it's like it's their last meal and there is no tomorrow and ohhhhhhh the noises !!! where were their mothers when they were growing up.
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Irresponsibility, cruelty, hypocrisy and lack of consistency in values, crudeness, insincerity and hidden motives camouflaged with politeness, coward ness, lies, dishonesty, lack of heart, dominance, narrowmindness, arrogance, lack of respect, compassion, and humility to people…
Disrespect to a woman, blunt advances
Lack of drive, goals in life...I would be turned on by a man with an idealistic dream, drive, and some plan, yet I would be turned off by a man who has no dream or just one that earns money..
Shallowness, lack of substance in conversations....
Inability to stand by his own beliefs regardless of circumstances
Emptiness of one’s soul, focus on money and wealth as a means to become rich only...
This is just a beginning of the list
The oppostite of this list would be evidently the turn ons....
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 19 April 2004).]
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What does "lack of heart" mean? The list sounds like what most people hate in the opposite sex in general. Good list. I just don't clearly understand the above term, though. Are women not turned off by hideous men? There may yet be hope for me!
[This message has been edited by Undead (edited 19 April 2004).]
quote:Originally posted by Undead: What does "lack of heart" mean? The list sounds like what most people hate in the opposite sex in general. Good list. I just don't clearly understand the above term, though. Are women not turned off by hideous men? There may yet be hope for me!
[This message has been edited by Undead (edited 19 April 2004).]
Undead, I guess you refer to my list... I would not say it is a general list, but it is a separate debate, isn't it?
As far as a definition of "lack of heart", I suppose I was redundant in some sense. Lack of heart, or heartless (degrees of lack of heart may vary): unfeeling, inconsiderate, uncaring, cruel
“Hideous” meaning “ugly”? it is a general question.. You will get a spectrum of answers
Appearance is not the deciding factor for me personally. It is what on the inside that matters. Let's say it is a bonus not a requirement at all, if a man is handsome, ok, good, if not so what...I am not 16 that such things would matter If an ugly man can have a meaningful conversation and show the beauty of his inner world, perhaps ugliness will not be even seen, but brilliance and his big heart will shine. For me the connection is established through intellectual exchange which is sincere and not arrogant. Thoughts and actions that come from the heart and mind. Also, I believe in friendship between a woman and a man, so ugliness would not matter. The ugliness of mind and motives .. yes it is a big turn off
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 19 April 2004).]
quote:Originally posted by Monica: Thank you Brian for giving us this opportunity.
Personally, it is very important to me that my Man respects himself. If he starts flirting with others in front of me, or on a board like this one for example, in case he is on the board too... I find that he is not respecting himself, thus not respecting our relationship...same attitude when I'm not around, if I hear about it I will be turned off. He has to know how to control himself in front of women.
Another turn off for me, is if I feel or find out he is lying to me! Turn off big time!!! Demanding no lies whatever the situation, is crucial. Trust is everything in a relationship!
If my man is disrespectful to the 'help' it is a turn off...I do not like it if he would talk down to them.
Also if I feel him 'passive' towards causes of interest, like politics in the Middle east and humanitarian issues - retarded people - in general that is a huge huge turn off...
If I feel my Man is 'stingy'it is a turn off. Generosity has nothing to do with being rich. Financial situations vary with times, but I see generosity when he gives me half his pizza, or half his bottle of water or half his chewing gum ...and sometimes all, depriving himself for me!
And last but not least: if I discover that my man does not like children...or does not show emotions towards his children or other children in the family, for example...to me that is a huge turn off!
So, I guess 'we' have to make sure in advance of those issues before even considering a relationship ~ for those who agree with me! And I believe that reciprocity is so essential!
Those are the turn offs that came to mind for now
Have a great day!
Monica
Hi Monica great answer. I have to agree with you totally on your reply. Being a man myself, I always wonder why women expect so much from their partner (as they should do).
But one important point is that loving somebody is to accept all that is good or bad about him or her.
Take care. Monica
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 19 April 2004).]
posted
Brian...that was funny...you included your answer within my quote and then you probably meant take care Monica, but looks like you signed Monica
About loving someone and accepting the way he/she is ~ but we're supposed to fall in love with someone because we have a LOT in common...compatibility is essential in my humble opinion!
If we are so different and that makes us argue at every issue ...love gets tired...
A turn off would be if the other is doing the exact opposite of what we like, all the time...
Why would I choose to be with him if everything annoys me, and vice versa?
When things turn me off I can't 'pretend' that everything is ok. So we have to be compatible, a great great deal. I believe it happens ONLY when you really know who you are, then you have no excuse to be with someone that turns you off, a lot, I guess.
quote:Originally posted by brian04:
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 19 April 2004).]
quote:Originally posted by brian04: Hi again everybody, I have a question in for all the ladies of ES. What turns you off the most about a man. Either you can be married, living together, friends, or you just knowing each other.
Hopefully us men can learn our mistakes.
Hope to see some replies.
Salam, Brian
LOL..long list coming up!
Lying Infidelity Boringness Wearing sandles with socks (I hate that...why do they do it?) Trying to be someone they're not Greed Possesiveness Poor Hygiene Leaving the toilet seat up or leaving it down and peeing on the seat! Shorts with skinny legs Eating with their mouths open. Arguing about everything and anything Talking about you with their friends Selfishness
I think that is most of my turn offs...LOL just reminded myself about half the things I hated about my ex!! LOL
Another turn off for me, is if I feel or find out he is lying to me! Turn off big time!!! Demanding no lies whatever the situation, is crucial. Trust is everything in a relationship!
If my man is disrespectful to the 'help' it is a turn off...I do not like it if he would talk down to them.
Also if I feel him 'passive' towards causes of interest, like politics in the Middle east and humanitarian issues - retarded people - in general that is a huge huge turn off...
If I feel my Man is 'stingy'it is a turn off. Generosity has nothing to do with being rich. Financial situations vary with times, but I see generosity when he gives me half his pizza, or half his bottle of water or half his chewing gum ...and sometimes all, depriving himself for me!
And last but not least: if I discover that my man does not like children...or does not show emotions towards his children or other children in the family, for example...to me that is a huge turn off!
So, I guess 'we' have to make sure in advance of those issues before even considering a relationship ~ for those who agree with me! And I believe that reciprocity is so essential!
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I agree with all what you have said, but to discover these things it might take time, but one super important thing that you can spot right away is how smart the person you are talking to. For me to be Stupid is a big time put off
(I can now see a friend of mine saying you use the word Stupid a lot
Maybe some men wear socks, even with sandals, not to get 'cold' feet?
Monica
LOL I don't know...it's a pain in the backside though. We get a lot og them in the summer. Old men wearing shorts with skinny white legs and black sock and brown sandals reading maps. Guaranteed to annoy the hell out of me. LOL
“Hideous” meaning “ugly”? it is a general question.. You will get a spectrum of answers
Appearance is not the deciding factor for me personally. It is what on the inside that matters. Let's say it is a bonus not a requirement at all, if a man is handsome, ok, good, if not so what...I am not 16 that such things would matter If an ugly man can have a meaningful conversation and show the beauty of his inner world, perhaps ugliness will not be even seen, but brilliance and his big heart will shine. For me the connection is established through intellectual exchange which is sincere and not arrogant. Thoughts and actions that come from the heart and mind. Also, I believe in friendship between a woman and a man, so ugliness would not matter. The ugliness of mind and motives .. yes it is a big turn off
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 19 April 2004).][/B]
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Katrina, I am not sure that Undead meant Hideous as Ugly, rather shocking and revolting correct me if I am wrong Undead.
You do vote for pretty and beautiful women, so appearance is an issue here
quote:Originally posted by Mooly El Din: [QUOTE]Originally posted by katrina:
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Katrina, I am not sure that Undead meant Hideous as Ugly, rather shocking and revolting correct me if I am wrong Undead.
You do vote for pretty and beautiful women, so appearance is an issue here
Cheers
Mooly, thanks! We can only guess what Undead meant. The definition was not specified, so it opens a door to a free essay on the subject since "hideous" has multiple definitions, right?
As far as "shocking", again definition is too broad to answer the question. "Shocking" in respect to what? Attitudes, dress, manners, life views...? Well, we will leave it open for now until Undead defines it. After that I can modify my essay
As far as pretty women, I thought this thread for us women to say what turns us off in men I believe there is a different thread for men to do the same! hehe.
Cheers, KAT
P.S. After reading Adoula's comment, I guess this is the thread also for guys to voice their opinions on what may turn women off in men
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 19 April 2004).]
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Adoula, I would consider this more as a joke, but I would dare to disagree. Also, when making statements, using such words as "ALL", "NOBODY", "EVERYBODY", "NEVER", "ALWAYS", etc leads to sweeping generalizations. When you say "believe me", you refer to your own experience and/or observations of other people's experiences, however, you cannot observe "ALL" women.
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 19 April 2004).]
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Katrina and Mooly El-Din: Yes, I did indeed mean UGLY. Not shocking... I wonder how much of this "looks don't matter" is just lip service and if women generally tolerate more from a handsome man than they do from an ugly one. Posts: 238 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
What is wrong with wearing socks with sandles? I do it often with my Birki's ????
quote:Originally posted by GiggleGirl: LOL I don't know...it's a pain in the backside though. We get a lot og them in the summer. Old men wearing shorts with skinny white legs and black sock and brown sandals reading maps. Guaranteed to annoy the hell out of me. LOL
quote:Originally posted by Undead: Katrina and Mooly El-Din: Yes, I did indeed mean UGLY. Not shocking... I wonder how much of this "looks don't matter" is just lip service and if women generally tolerate more from a handsome man than they do from an ugly one.
Undead, answers will vary across women. Also the notion of what makes a man handsome varies across women.
I find uniquness in thought and actions of a man, his true intentions inportant, while appearance is the last thing on my list. It is not a lip service. If the heart and mind are beautiful, I am sure even if the outside is not handsome, there is always something cute in a man, eyes, certain gesture, laugh. You find such things beautiful when you truly love, even if the person is not a beauty king. Also there is such captivating thing as charm that does not necessarially goes hand in hand with beauty, and even ugly peopel can be very charming...
I think understanding what is the most important in a man also comes with maturity. Perhaps at 16 it would be a lip service to say ulgy have equal chance as handsome, but at almost 28, NO! At least not for me.
No, I would not tolerate more BS from a handsome man than from an ugly one. It is an equal opportunity shot in my book.
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 19 April 2004).]
quote:Originally posted by Undead: Katrina and Mooly El-Din: Yes, I did indeed mean UGLY. Not shocking... I wonder how much of this "looks don't matter" is just lip service and if women generally tolerate more from a handsome man than they do from an ugly one.
dear undead ugly is also in the eye of the beholder just as beauty is. if a man is kind, considerate, respectful, interesting, and exciting then he is a turn on regardless of how he looks.
personaly if a man can turn me on inside my head then i will find him attractive.
the 'looks dont matter' veiw is not 'lip service' for many women - i think it is how they are treated that matters - if they are treated with care then they will find that person attractive.
posted
What turns me off most in a man (other than what most of you already said) is if he makes a pass at me when he actually doesn't even know me. It is SUCH a turn off!
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What turns me off about a man ? Don't get me started !
Socks with sandles has to be at the top of the list, that is just not a good look guys. Socks with shebshebs is even worse.
A hairy back
Nose picker and flicker
Arrogance and ignorance
Nostril Hair
Mean behaviour towards children, animals or domestic staff
Ear Hair
Disgusting table manners
Total self absorbtion
No passion for life or self discovery
No sense of humour
Getting hit in the eye by stray toenail clippings zipping through the air
Temper tantrums over nothing
A smaller butt than mine. His has to be bigger than mine or it is just not happening
All talk and no action
Inflated ego
A man that talks to my chest instead of my looking at my face
Touchy, feely octopussy guys with their hands all over the place 2 minutes after being introduced
Insincerity
No personality
Leaving the bathroom door open - familiarity breeds contempt
quote:Originally posted by GiggleGirl: Oh no!!! Why do you do that?? What posesses you? Sandals are for letting your feet fel the air and the sun...not for socks! Besides, it looks wierd!!
quote:Originally posted by brian04: Hi again everybody, I have a question in for all the ladies of ES. What turns you off the most about a man. Either you can be married, living together, friends, or you just knowing each other.
Hopefully us men can learn our mistakes.
Hope to see some replies.
Salam, Brian
hi every body hi brian that things that i cant really stand in a guy 1- speaking with a loud voice 2-saying something which he cant fulfil 3-pretender 4-hiding essential things especially those which concern me and him 5-dedicating his life to tv and atching foot ball games 6-the unability of making up his mind espcially when it comes to life decision 7-being unfaithful to his family (that means he would be the same with me) 8-no consideration for the family 9-being a liar 10- being self centred 11- the unability of taking the responsibilities
thanks every body thanks brian for giving us the chance
quote:Originally posted by TALL_PEINCESS: hi every body hi brian that things that i cant really stand in a guy 1- speaking with a loud voice 2-saying something which he cant fulfil 3-pretender 4-hiding essential things especially those which concern me and him 5-dedicating his life to tv and atching foot ball games 6-the unability of making up his mind espcially when it comes to life decision 7-being unfaithful to his family (that means he would be the same with me) 8-no consideration for the family 9-being a liar 10- being self centred 11- the unability of taking the responsibilities
thanks every body thanks brian for giving us the chance
5-
Hi Tall_Peincess, Thanks for your post, I hope that you find somebody that gives you all the hope and fills your heart with best wishes that you want. As for me I hate watching Football or being a couch potato.
quote:Originally posted by Monica: Brian...that was funny...you included your answer within my quote and then you probably meant take care Monica, but looks like you signed Monica
About loving someone and accepting the way he/she is ~ but we're supposed to fall in love with someone because we have a LOT in common...compatibility is essential in my humble opinion!
If we are so different and that makes us argue at every issue ...love gets tired...
[b]A turn off would be if the other is doing the exact opposite of what we like, all the time...
Why would I choose to be with him if everything annoys me, and vice versa?
When things turn me off I can't 'pretend' that everything is ok. So we have to be compatible, a great great deal. I believe it happens ONLY when you really know who you are, then you have no excuse to be with someone that turns you off, a lot, I guess.
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 19 April 2004).][/B]
Hi Monica, I agree with partially, One thing that is great about love is that is that you see beyond the person's faults or mistakes. Once you have established your realtionship then staying in love in another thing. Then truly you have found you soul mate. At least that is what I think.
Love has it's up and downs. Nothing is never easy.
posted
Hi ES members Although I feel the current/daily massacres of our brothers and sisters in both Palestine and Iraq by the Foreign Invaders from Europe & USA make me hesitant to read/not to mention write my thoughts about love/turn on/turn off towards the other gender; I can use this comment to give myself a break, from the emotional reactions/thoughts speculating the hidden plans when/where/how to hurt Egypt when its turn comes, as I hear/watch the news coming from Palestine & Iraq: Subject: socks covering the feet I believe that the skin inbetween the feet fingers, especially the smallest ones, is so weak and soft from both sweat and body temperature that you may consider it very vulnerable to catch/harbor microbes from air/polluted dust/flying insects. It could be considered as the lowest open gate into the human body. There is inflammation/swelling of the entire leg which is initiated with a microbe that enters through the soft/humid skin inbetween the last smallest two fingers of a foot! I personally in summer time use socks when I wear sandals. I use the wisdom of "Protect better than Treat". At least once per week, I give my feet a bath in a warm saturated solution of salt (NaCl)(without chemical terminology: get a bagged salt from the supermarket just pay 0.5 Egyptian Pound/each and then pour its content into the warm water keep yuor feet in this bath for as long time you can stand it, also it is very effective in getting rid of any Fungi that could make the foot smelly) Hope I managed to add something helpful or serious to this thread. One can not get bored of telling his/her preferences towards the other gender, so Carry on your Debate and Have a nice connected Time! Yours: ScienceSailor
Posts: 182 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
hi! everybody, i'm new here. i was dazed by all of your opinions. in this case, who would marry with bad person? and there would be so many single man in this world. but the case is not like this at all. i would have to say i agree with all of about you mentioned. but in my opinion, love is blind and there is no reason to explain. if you fall in love with someone, you would pay any attention to his shortcoming. your head would out of control. at that time, maybe his shortcoming would be his strong point in your eyes. i do not know if right what i say. it's only my idea about this.
Posts: 6 | From: shanghai,china | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
hi! everybody, i'm new here. i was dazed by all of your opinions. in this case, who would marry with bad person? and there would be so many single man in this world. but the case is not like this at all. i would have to say i agree with all of about you mentioned. but in my opinion, love is blind and there is no reason to explain. if you fall in love with someone, you would pay any attention to his shortcoming. your head would out of control. at that time, maybe his shortcoming would be his strong point in your eyes. i do not know if right what i say. it's only my idea about this.
Posts: 6 | From: shanghai,china | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
"if you fall in love with someone, you would pay any attention to his shortcoming."
Nicely expressed wisdom, I do like this conclusive statement. We are humans, have positive and also negative characters, we are not perfect. In Islam: Perfection is only for God, period. A happy & successful marriage like mine (close to 20 yrs) is based on Tolerance. I tolerate my dear wife's weak characters and she tolerates mine too. As she tolerates my misbehaviors I appreciate her role in making our marriage an enjoyable day to day life. Actually, I feel the strength of the bonds between us becomes stronger and stronger with time. This is a reality because we manage to Tolerate. You may accept both my respect and appreciation for your wise analysis. Salam Yours: ScienceSailor
posted
big turn off when a man talks for the sake of hearing his own voice, about anything and nothing in particular... SS, please, spare us from a discussion on socks...
[This message has been edited by katrina (edited 23 April 2004).]
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EgyDoc77 Wished to read your comment on what I elaborated on "socks covering the feet". You are the Medical Doctor of this webpage and the subject is in your speciality " Dermatology", ie. you are much better knowledgable in this topic than me. On the same evening of what was called Kholio Eglasias musical concert in Cairo, I had a very enjoyable evening at a concert in Alexandria. It was Omar Khairat with his Piano and all his young band members All Egyptians except one from Syria as far as I remember. I was pleased with Omar Khairat music, at times was fighting to stay awake as I had to be at my work to late hours and was very tired indeed. I was very pleased to see all this enthusiasm and very appreciative audience to just music, no almost-naked chorus girls or any spicy and cheap means that some famous singers use to attract the youngster audience. All dressed formally, men with ties women elegantly dressed, all ages but mostly married couples in 30s or 40s. I was disappointed only in finding myself with a few men wearing "smokin" (I suspect if I wrote this correctly wish you know the exact one) I was the only man wearing a "Papion" a white one like Prof Dr Zweal at his Noble inaguration. I just like this man very much. I wrote several "Letters to the Editor" about him in "Barid AlAhram" wish you have noticed the last one "3 weeks ago". Hope you are OK. Miss your distinguished style in writing your thoughts in ES. Salam. Yours: ScienceSailor PS. Did you attend that Kholio Eglasias concert, have any comments about it?
Posts: 182 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Ms Monica Believe me; till this day and during our 20 yrs of marriage, I discover something I did not know in my wife. I believe, she too finds at times something she did not know about me. Before getting married, I used to speculate on the specifications of the girl I will choose to marry. My colleauges at work still remind me with these specs. Nothing of the immaginery girl in my thoughts were found in the girl I was attracted to. We were at an evening computer course at faculty of engineering in Alex, she was among several engineers from the same company she works for (all girls). Before the end of the course, I spoke to her for the first time. I like you and wish to get married to you! Reply: visit us at home to meet my father. A very Egyptian reply meaning I like you too! Later on she told me she had her eyes watching me! (How girls can see with only 5% of their eyes directed to a man!) As the Lady above said, It is only the Heart or the feelings that tells you this is the one. The engagement took only 3 months. We were sure we can make our marriage successful. I was pressed in the first years of marriage to have a second wife to give me a child but I was determined to resist the pressure from my sisters/mother/aunt and even with consent of my dear wife. I think this too is more stronger example of Tolerance to keep our marriage successful. Wish I managed to Elaborate Have a nice Weekend. Salam. Yours: ScienceSailor
Posts: 182 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2004
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