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Hi All...that a question for boys and girls ..actually i don't know wether it differ or not(i mean is it easier for boys to love again or girls or depend on person!!!)...but is that possible????? what must be there for such thing to succeed?? Who must exert effort the person who loved before or from the second lover?? What about the previous love with all what was in it.. can it be oneday memories..?? What if the period between both is small..can we trust the person that he really looking for another to love..or always a way to forget what was before????
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It would depend on the situation. If you were married and one half died, it would be possible to love again but it will be very different. You will always remember the first person, but love the second time can be just as exciting. If someone cheated on you, love the second time can be very difficult. You will have to get over the hurt of being 'used' and you will probably find it difficult to 'trust' another, no matter how genuine the second love is. If you are the sort of optimistic person who looks at a situation... 'one door closes ...another door opens' then you will have no problems loving once twice or more. But, if you carry the 'hurt' for a long time it will eat away at you and you will become bitter and hard towards all future 'loves' We have to learn to trust what ever has happend in life. Blessed be
Posts: 290 | Registered: Feb 2005
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hi Valerie: yes i understand you ...but actually i'm talking about being the second love in another person's life...????? specially when the reason for leaving each other was more due to some circumstances ..not personal decision that both reached ... i feel it need a huge effort to make that person forget the past with all what happened in and love you ..you understand what i mean?????????..what if he always put you in comparison with her .....that will be hard
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dear mai , i already loved a girl for 5 years relation , finally we couldn't get married , she got engaged and i the same , she got married and i the same , finally i love her and she does the same and i ADORE my wife and she ADORES her man !!!! and i still love her and will always do , she says the same , but we never betray even never think we can meet or flirt , my wife also was already married , She is Foreginer, but i never suspect her , Dear love comes into the current situation , love is so compliacated to Understand , but all i can say is i love my wife and i still love my ex girlfriend , as i love my Dream and my curerrnt life . if you wanna feel rest , Just Trust the man and show him that you trust and forget about all the past , today is not yesterday and you today are not you since five years ago . wish that helps you
[This message has been edited by lifetimeenjoy (edited 07 March 2005).]
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Life, please forgive a personal question, but does your wife knows you are still in love with your 'dream'?
Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:Originally posted by lifetimeenjoy: dear mai , i already loved a girl for 5 years relation , finally we couldn't get married , she got engaged and i the same , she got married and i the same , finally i love her and she does the same and i ADORE my wife and she ADORES her man !!!! and i still love her and will always do , she says the same , but we never betray even never think we can meet or flirt , my wife also was already married , She is Foreginer, but i never suspect her , Dear love comes into the current situation , love is so compliacated to Understand , but all i can say is i love my wife and i still love my ex girlfriend , as i love my Dream and my curerrnt life . if you wanna feel rest , Just Trust the man and show him that you trust and forget about all the past , today is not yesterday and you today are not you since five years ago . wish that helps you
[This message has been edited by lifetimeenjoy (edited 07 March 2005).]
you seemed to be so confused. I do not get it why to get engaged while loving the dream or if the dream loved you, why to engage as well?
Kara Mia, I bet the wife knows nothing about the “dream”. Many men normally decide women’s feelings for women. I bet he thinks that the wife would be hurt and not telling this to her is really “saving” her feelings. Typical, ordinary, too ordinary. Simple life prose.
quote:Originally posted by Mai: hi Valerie: yes i understand you ...but actually i'm talking about being the second love in another person's life...????? specially when the reason for leaving each other was more due to some circumstances ..not personal decision that both reached ... i feel it need a huge effort to make that person forget the past with all what happened in and love you ..you understand what i mean?????????..what if he always put you in comparison with her .....that will be hard
quote:Originally posted by world: you seemed to be so confused. I do not get it why to get engaged while loving the dream or if the dream loved you, why to engage as well?
Kara Mia, I bet the wife knows nothing about the “dream”. Many men normally decide women’s feelings for women. I bet he thinks that the wife would be hurt and not telling this to her is really “saving” her feelings. Typical, ordinary, too ordinary. Simple life prose.
World.....are you asking me (Valerie) that question or Mia?
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I believe there are different kind of loves and thats what he is probably trying to say.
She obviously still has a place in his heart but every person has to move on with his/her life when an relationship ends.
I agree... I guess each person we love in any way throughout our life takes with them a little piece of our heart. I just got an impression that 'the Dream' took quite a few pieces of Life's heart and he still doesn't seem to stop missing them too much...
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Dear all ..you are all right. I’m with you karamia i know that any experience the person pass by give him/her something and took something. but to what extend and for when????? lifetimeenjoy:i understand you didn't betray your wife. but i can't handle your sitiuation..i want real deep strong true love not accompanied with memories from the past. I understand the importance of trusting that man but ..as you passed by that before...if there is no contact between you and the previous love for long time with your current love can her existence in your heart get smaller...one day...or it 's the same with contacting her?????? World...the situation in general is knowing nice ,good person. you feel he is the one ..and you will love. but you feel the ghost of his previous experience in his voice. you understand me????he get nearer to you but with cautious for other heart break...he try to forget and love again but maybe need more time...or maybe not...that was my question...should i give him the chance ???????is that possible????? GOD WITH U ALL .M. [ Posts: 336 | Registered: Dec 2004
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Last night I watched a movie and it was said that sometimes you have to experience pain to appreciate happiness and love. Everyone goes through this stage at least one time in her/his life. We can't shield ourselves from not getting hurt, we have to take a risk sometimes in life. Yes, Mai, he will trust and love again if you are both in a loving and genuine relationship. It all takes time and efforts. Good luck! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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yeeeeees i agree with you Tigerlily: about knowing pain to feel happiness...but the issue is that not all personalities are the same about taking risks...some are courage enought to do so and other are not...maybe it depend on the other part...he can make you feel safe to take it...i think if he is honest..and really know what he want ..and he really want to forget .. you know !!the challenge is from the previous lover..her existance in his life..the question that always come to my mind what if he saw her again ?????he will still know what he want?????or....start from the beginning!!!!!!!
Posts: 336 | Registered: Dec 2004
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Mai, I am sorry for a hard emotional time you are going through. I think most of us here can relate to your situation in one way or other: if we meet our love later in life (later than 18 let's say...) there is a big chance we will not be his/her first love already. And then the anguish of 'lingering memories' begins... There is absolutely no way of knowing how hard are the feelings of past loves are rooted in our lovers' hearts. It is wise, however, to simply ask them for answers and explanations when we feel threatened and vulnerable, instead of making assumptions and living in the unbearable world of growing anger and resentment. Assumptions have been proven numerous times to be the most effective weapons of relationship mass destruction. No matter how strong we wish for it not to ever happen, there will be always attractive, appealing and seductive people around our loved ones, and past love interests inside their hearts. So obvious, yet so hard to accept! And even harder to admit that it hurts us against logic, pride, and our better judgment.... The way people handle delicate matters of the heart depends on their integrity (knowing who they are and what they want), moral values, and personality. Whether someone can fall in love with equal passion and trust five times or once in a lifetime is a strictly individual matter. I have friends believing that every person they fall in love with makes them love them differently but equally strong (group "A" ), and I also know many people insisting there is only ONE LOVE in this life and anything after that will never be the same (group "B"). I guess if we find ourselves in the 'second time around the block' league we can only hope to put our hearts and future in the hands of the optimists from the "A" group, or we will be eternally doomed with daily cell phone sneak-in checkups and other nerve wrecking activities of that sort for the rest of our adrenaline loaded lives…
[This message has been edited by Karah_Mia (edited 16 March 2005).]
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), and I also know many people insisting there is only ONE LOVE in this life and anything after that will never be the same (group "B"). I guess if we find ourselves in the 'second time around the block' league we can only hope to put our hearts and future in the hands of the optimists from the "A" group, or we will be eternally doomed with daily cell phone sneak-in checkups and other nerve wrecking activities of that sort for the rest of our adrenaline loaded lives…
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