I do not want in any way to make a judgment because I don't know you, however please allow me to give you a few insights. You seem to be very optimistic about the whole tragedy, you hope for better which is great -but you don't seem to be able to resolve the conflict before you take a new step - so your past may hunt you unless you start the new marriage without the luggage from the 'current' one.

3 months of knowing someone is usually not enough to get to know the person, and your first marriage probably failed partially because you did not really know whom are you actually marrying. The chances to marry a wrong person are much higher. For instance, you did not know his habits, his friends, his life style, and his expectations... Don't make the same mistake again, now you know what should you do before getting married again.

You would like to marry the man of your faith, which is fine and your choice, but choice of someone's religion is not necessarily predicament of marriage success, neither the guarantee that he is actually 'religious'. For instance, you may meet many Muslim guys but they all differ because they are all different and separated individuals who think, feel and make decisions differently. Take this in consideration with a new man as well, because maybe you are just projecting him as your 'savior' and maybe he was attracted to you because you have the problems with your husband.

You need to look for much more in a man - your husband - not just 'his faith' but also his attitude towards others, you, family, and friends, his life-style etc. Attraction for the wrong reasons usually works only until the 'problem' is solved, then attraction fades because it was not real in the first place.

You seem to be strong person because you pursue education and you are trying to fix the past - however you rush and look for comfort online when in fact you would be much better off if you don't give commitments in advance until you actually meet that person and spend some quality time to get to know him and actually see are you attracted to him for the 'right reasons' or are you just trying to escape from problems, or current marriage.

If you are legally married to 2 men, and you live in USA, you are committing a felony - a legal marriage with 2 people is illegal. I believe you can divorce you current husband if you go to a lawyer and he sends him divorce papers via official mail. He will not be affected to get his green card if you sign the petition, however that doesn't guarantee him to actually receive a green card.

Now, I am going to let other members to tell you their insights, and I hope you will find a solution and eventually be happy and fulfilled in your life again.

i'm guessing this - but - i think what you are saying is that since it's a civil marriage only in your eyes - you are thinking to have a civil marriage in egypt only too? kind of like when an egyptian man has 2 wives - a foreigner can marry him legally in egypt but the marriage is not recognized in countries that do no allow polygamy?

well, again i'm just guessing here? but i don't think that egypt allows polygamy for the female.

in other words, you can't have 2 husbands.

regardless if it was a civil ceremony and "technically" you didn't promise yourselves to your god in a religious ceremy... Er... you STILL LIVED TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE! And in both of your hearts you still considered yourselves to be married!

How on earth can you now say it doesn't really count?

You need to consult someone in your local mosque to help you set a few things straight, as you seem to be very confused and are rushing into something again.

I am sooooooooooooooooo happy for you, that you are moslem

Believe me, you cannot get a better husband than a 'real moslem' who follows the sunna...they are rael men, make women happy!!! Inschaallah!

Go ahaed and finish your divorcepapers and run to egypt to marry !
My husband is also egytian and moslem.
I hope, inschallah, that you will get happy as I am
Inschaallah !

...don't think, go and prepare your papers !

quote:

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Originally posted by germansara:
Alekum salam, Sister G.,

I am sooooooooooooooooo happy for you, that you are moslem

Believe me, you cannot get a better husband than a 'real moslem' who follows the sunna...they are rael men, make women happy!!! Inschaallah!

Go ahaed and finish your divorcepapers and run to egypt to marry !
My husband is also egytian and moslem.
I hope, inschallah, that you will get happy as I am
Inschaallah !

...don't think, go and prepare your papers !

Sister Sara

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Why do you want to leave everything in a heartbeat and get married to a total stranger in a far away country?

if she know him since years via net, then she exchanged with him feelings, thoughts, oppinions about believe etc etc..
And for sure they got each others picture.

In egypt people marry and 'don't know each other', because they simply meet before marrige with relatives....

I believe, she knows him very very well, and I believe, that she knows that this is the best for her.

Inschaallah.

You may find this useful, I got it from an Embassy website:

A foreigner who wishes to marry in Egypt is required by the Egyptian Government to obtain from his or her Embassy a Statement of No Objection. Because there is no national registry of marriages in the United States, the U.S. Embassy cannot provide such a certification. As a result, the Egyptian Government will accept an "Affidavit of Marriage" completed by a citizen and notarized at the Embassy. Americans may execute this affidavit at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo 's American Citizen Services Unit during its public hours (Sunday - Thursday, 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 noon, excluding Egyptian and U.S. public holidays). There is a fee of $30.00 or its Egyptian Pound equivalent for the affidavit, payable in cash only.

In addition, applicants must be able to document the dissolution of any previous marriage with an original copy of an official decree of divorce, authenticated by the Egyptian embassy or consulate whose consular district includes the entity (country, state, or territory, etc.) that issued the decree. Holders of a decree issued by a U.S. State may alternately submit their original to the Secretary of State of the state in which it was issued, and then to the office of the Secretary of State, Department of State, in Washington. A fuller explanation of this authentication process is located at http://www.state.gov/m/a/auth/ and http://travel.state.gov/authentication.html.

The Embassy cautions American citizens regarding marriage to Egyptian citizens whom they meet only briefly or only via the Internet. The Embassy has uncovered numerous cases of fraudulent intent in recent years on the part of Egyptian partners in such relationships. They have been shown to have contracted the marriage, either primarily or solely, for the purposes of obtaining access to an immigrant visa to the U.S. This is especially the case in which the parties have met only on-line. There is a common pattern in which Egyptian men will marry American women, remain in the marriage only long enough to obtain U.S. residency status or citizenship, and then divorce. We urge Americans contemplating marriage to an Egyptian citizen to become familiar with Egyptian family law (known here as personal status laws). Especially for women, their rights as both spouse and parent would be very different in Egypt from those in the U.S., as would the rights of any children resulting from the marriage (See "Children's Issues," below).

I agree with others here you need to sort out and regularise your marriage position. You ought not jump from one relationship to another so quickly. Give yourself time to recover from one before going on to another. Islam is about submission and patience. If it is meant to be it will happen, in Gods time not yours.

Also if your marriage is publically known and between two beleiving Muslims then I would not have thought you could dismiss it so quickly as not being married in Islam. A contract which a civil marriage could be taken to be and public acknowledgment are the most important critieria for an Islamic marriage. You would seem to have those. Also remember between your divorce and remarriage you need a waiting period so please bring that into the equation as well.

I'm afraid you cannot divorce from Egypt if the marriage was registered somewhere else (Egyptian courts won't have jurisdiction over this matter). On the other hand, to the best of my knowledge, some scholars have said that a thayeb can marry herself without a wali (a thayeb is a woman who was married before).

quote:

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Originally posted by germansara:
Alekum salam, Sister G.,

I am sooooooooooooooooo happy for you, that you are moslem

Believe me, you cannot get a better husband than a 'real moslem' who follows the sunna...they are rael men, make women happy!!! Inschaallah!

Go ahaed and finish your divorcepapers and run to egypt to marry !
My husband is also egytian and moslem.
I hope, inschallah, that you will get happy as I am
Inschaallah !

...don't think, go and prepare your papers !

Sister Sara

---

Hi Sara,

I know you speak also german. Can u give me more information about your marriage ? I'm on the way to marry an Egypt men in 5 weeks. But I want some more informations. Do u have a email or an ICQ number ?

I wrote the man back and explained how I loved where I was living and I wanted to meet someone from Dallas. With that, I never heard from him again.

A year later, I move to Houston, Texas to work in a hospital there. I was settled into my work and my apartment for about a year when I received an email from the man who wrote me while I was in Dallas. I laughed when I read his email asking me how I was, and explained to him that I was now living in Houston. He sent back a reply immediately, asking if I would meet him for coffee. I finally agreed on the condition that we meet in a public place.

We met and he proceeded to tell me about his past relationships, work and things. I remember feeling like I should run away, but I didnt. We continued to see each other for a few weeks before we married Islamically.

Since that time, I have never regreted getting married to him. I love him more everyday. We went to Cairo for Ramadan and Eid, and I had the best time in my life there.

My advice sister??

Dont think always that you know best for yourself. I did, and I lost about two years with this man. Sometimes Allah puts something in our path that appears for no reason. Yet no matter how strange or sudden it seems, it was a gift meant for just you. Dont question the logic of getting married in such a short period of time, because others can explain it away into nothing.

Pray to Allah that you need a companion, and hold strong to the belief that the right man will come in the right time.

I say this: After I married him, the hospital suddenly laid off about 200 people. My job was one of them. My husband never said anything but encouragement for this situation. In the two weeks after we married, I moved a muslimah friend from Houston to Dallas, moved from my apartment to my husband's home, found a job that was even better, and booked our flight to Cairo.

aber klar doch , du kannst mich fragen, was du willst

saraheike2002yahoo.de

Alles Liebe

quote:

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Originally posted by Shadya:
I met my husband in a different way. I was muslimah living in Dallas, Texas. I was looking to meet a nice man for marriage through the Richardson Masjid. Somehow, this man from Houston sends me an email that talks about himself and what he does etc...It ended with wanting to know if I was interested in meeting him.

I wrote the man back and explained how I loved where I was living and I wanted to meet someone from Dallas. With that, I never heard from him again.

A year later, I move to Houston, Texas to work in a hospital there. I was settled into my work and my apartment for about a year when I received an email from the man who wrote me while I was in Dallas. I laughed when I read his email asking me how I was, and explained to him that I was now living in Houston. He sent back a reply immediately, asking if I would meet him for coffee. I finally agreed on the condition that we meet in a public place.

We met and he proceeded to tell me about his past relationships, work and things. I remember feeling like I should run away, but I didnt. We continued to see each other for a few weeks before we married Islamically.

Since that time, I have never regreted getting married to him. I love him more everyday. We went to Cairo for Ramadan and Eid, and I had the best time in my life there.

My advice sister??

Dont think always that you know best for yourself. I did, and I lost about two years with this man. Sometimes Allah puts something in our path that appears for no reason. Yet no matter how strange or sudden it seems, it was a gift meant for just you. Dont question the logic of getting married in such a short period of time, because others can explain it away into nothing.

Pray to Allah that you need a companion, and hold strong to the belief that the right man will come in the right time.

I say this: After I married him, the hospital suddenly laid off about 200 people. My job was one of them. My husband never said anything but encouragement for this situation. In the two weeks after we married, I moved a muslimah friend from Houston to Dallas, moved from my apartment to my husband's home, found a job that was even better, and booked our flight to Cairo.

Allah is Great, respect what is before you as a gift from God.

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I lived in Lewisville in North Dallas and went to the Lewisville Masjid when it was open. On the days it was closed, I went to Richardson. I bring Palestinian children to the US for medical treatment and back when I lived in Dallas, I brought a 4-year old boy from Rafah who was shot in the head and required surgery. The best days of my life were spent with him and his mother Aminah. The brothers and sisters from Richardson Masjid did so much for them, I will never forget it. I love those people very, very much.

Houston has more of an arab culture and over 40 masjids. We have many arab cafe's and groceries and several restaurants too. I really like Houston, but the friends I made in Dallas are friends for life.

Believe it or not, I get homesick for Dallas and the Richardson Masjid and Sarah's Bakery, and my friends.

There was a restaurant in Lewisville that sold "greek" cousine but I knew the brothers who owned it were Lebanese. They always gave me the best service, and the most food!

I have friends in Carrollton and would go to Jumah prayer with them often. They were from Moracco. Such a lovely family. They were also the people who took care of Ahmed and his mom Aminah while they were in Dallas from May until September.