posted
The person who wrote this is a bitch for westerners.
Simple as that. mohamed is a mozza trying to be afrangi.
With topics like this:
Egypt from up top What's wrong with Egyptians? Hot Eye Anti-Mubarak anyone? Our identity crisis More on the Egyptian demonstrations Palestine The famous Yacoubian building On strikes and layoffs Bloggers in trouble Egypt's traffic and culture Behind a veil Human beings Foreigners in Cairo Sex on the beach I love Cairo Masa'a elfoll (drugs) Kefaya's momentum for change Why do they call me Mo?
what does he agree with and find respectable?
If this blog was written in Arabi, his tone would be completely different.
Its all for show. I wonder how his IM program is going to humm for the next few months. He's going to get some.
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 16 August 2005).]
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
For me, after the 30s , i advice 'Salon marriage' , have no chances, Why we are accepting knowing ppl through the net or friend, and do not accept Salon marriage, we are not forced to refuse or accept anything, think as it is just a way like other ways we follow
posted
well i think westerners totally misunderstand the concept of arranged marriages nowadays. in the past a girl and a boy would be promised to each other, without really knowing each other. this doesn't happen anymore; arranged marraiges now have taken a different form in what we call "salon" marriage. for example if i have a friend who is single, and wants to get married, and i also know a guy who is also single and looking then i will "fix" them together, sort of like a blind date. they meet in a cafe, or a home, with the presence of the person who has fixed the meeting, plus maybe a family member. if they like each other after the inital meeting then they can see other more until they decide if they want to marry or not.
best
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
This boy definitely didn't write this by himself, a 14-year-old having all these kind of thoughts about selection of his possible spouse, of the pros and cons of "salon marriage" or "dating"? If I'd talk to 14-year-olds about marriage they would laugh me out, they are not intersted in the issue at all, neither in details.
Okay, about "Dating" in the west for many people. Dating means the person can chose whoever he/she wants as a partner and start a relationship. Parents are not involved at all in the selection or suggestion of a possible boyfriend/girlfriend. The outer looks are important but also the inner values of each person.
After some time often couples move in together if they feel they want to commit deeper. They take this time as a trial to get to know each other better, see how it would be to be around with each other 24/7. This period is a very important time for the couple to test their love, compatibility and commitment.
Usually the next step is getting engaged to each other. Many couples skip engagement and pursuing marriage instead after some time.
Some couples never marry and have children or they chose together not to have any. To have children is not a neccessary step to be done after marriage.
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 16 August 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I did not read any of the posts on this thread, just the title, and all I want top say is : DAMN DAMN DAMN ON ARRANGED MASSACRES YOU CALL MARRIAGES.... DAMN THEM AND WHO EVER FORCE HIS KIDS TO IT...... DAMN THEM !!! Posts: 3903 | From: The Moon | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
LOL Corvinous.....sure its not good to force your kid marry without his/her will,and i dont think that its practicing nowadays,or maybe im not aware of that! But 7aya explained already,how they proceed in Egypt when want to fix man and a girl singles together,and im completely awared that they cant force to marry if they dont want!Or just what i know is that they choose their partnet from their own desire! For example my husband sister,she marry from his best friend,no matter manyyyyyy guys come to ask for her hand,and after that engaged,and about 1 year later,they go out....they have marry!And she is who choose him,and said her choise,noone forced her! Posts: 1134 | From: NoNe oF uR BuSiNeS | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
Upper Egypt occupies more than half of Egypt's territory, stretching from Beni Suif south of Giza to Aswan in the south. "I am a pure Egyptian". That is the only answer you receive when you ask a Seidi person about his nationality. Because Upper Egypt is located far in the south, away from external influences, people were rarely mixed with other foreign nationalities.
A Seidi person can be easily recognized by his external features and his accent. He has strong features, looks slim and tends to be tall. He owes his distinguished looks as well as his temper to the weather . Because the weather in Upper Egypt is quiet nice in winter time, people come from all over the world to enjoy it, in addition, to see the Pharaoh's monuments which are plenty in Upper Egypt. Seidi man wears a heavy galabia (long-sleeved dress) similar to the one which a farmer from Delta wears but in different kind of fabric. Unlike the man who can be seen wearing a colored galabia, brown or blue, a Seidi woman always wear a long-sleeved black galabia with a black scarf tied low over her forehead.
No doubt that the lifestyle in Upper Egypt differs a lot from urban areas, such as Cairo, however, there are similarities to other rural areas, as well. The main reasons justify the lifestyle differences are not being exposed to foreign cultures , the limitation of places of entertainment and the conservative traditions. The marriage customs best illustrate the characteristic lifestyle of the Seidi culture.
Having a chance to meet or to choose a bride is quite difficult in Upper Egypt due to many reasons. First, the society does not allow boys and girls to associate with each other. Second, the places where people can meet freely do not exist. As a result, people adapted their own ways for choosing a bride. One of those ways is called "El-Khatba". "El-khatba" can only be an old woman with wide public relation connections. In other words, she knows all the families. "El-khatba" profession can also be found in other parts of Egypt in the countryside. Another way of choosing a bride is through the relatives themselves. Young men know that they can choose their brides from their families. Seeing the bride is not necessary at all, for being a relative is quite enough reason to marry her. The girl shares the same blood with the boy , so she is worth marrying.
Along the same lines, Seidi people do not allow strangers to marry their daughters easily. Priority goes first to the cousins, but the cousin has to be from the father's side. This guarantees the continuation of the family name. In fact, marriage between cousins records the highest rate in Upper Egypt. This accounts for their resemblance.
While speaking about marriage in the rural areas, it is very hard to ignore the bride's age. This is really a serious issue. Although the state and the church ban marriages of girls under 15, many girls at the age of nine or ten wear pendants in their ears signifying that they are already engaged. They discover who their future husband is at the jeweler's. Changes has also found its way in Upper Egypt. Whereas, thirty years ago, the dowry (EL-Mahr) was 30 LE.; now is 1,500 LE.
In order to guarantee a good marriage decision, people often ask about the wealth of the family, its social status, and/or its religious position which could be a very good reason for the marriage.
Generally speaking, Seidi people are religiously oriented, and their religious beliefs play an important role in public affairs. A Seidi woman who sells vegetable in my neighborhood, told me the story of her marriage. She explained that she was not given the chance either to see or to chose her future husband. Moreover, her father simply announced to her in a very normal tune that she was engaged and to be married in a month. He acted on her behalf. On the one hand, the groom paid a 100 pounds as a dowry , in addition to, "El-Shabka" which consisted of a gold kholkhal anklet, rings and a thin necklace. On the other hand, her father bore the expenses of the furniture and everything needed to establish a new home for his daughter.
On remembering her marriage, the vegetable seller said that she could say that her marriage lasted for one week because of the celebration that was held for 6 days before the main wedding ceremony. One of these days is called El-Henna Day where the bride put a red substance called Henna on her hands and legs. After El-Henna Day came the day in which her furniture and clothes were loaded on a truck followed by her family and her friends whom they sang. About the ceremony, she said that her wedding party was similar to any other wedding in her place. Two separate places were designated, one for women and the other for men. Both men and women were not allowed to mix together. The groom sat with the invitees and his future father in law and the bride sat with the women. Each enjoyed themselves in their own ways. Young girls danced and sang for the bride and she joined them at times. The vegetable seller told me about the great changes that had occurred during the last ten years in Upper Egypt. Girls are no more obliged to marry someone they do not see. Thanks to education, women became more aware of their rights and practiced them specially in marriage. The only thing that did not changed is the segregation of men and women.
With a great deal of pride, the vegetable seller said that as a married woman, her behavior met the ideal standard of a Seidi wife. she is the epitome of the caring wife who shares her husband his life in poverty and in wealth and works with him, hand in hand, in addition to her duties as a dedicated mother.
I think that the vegetable seller was right about the great changes that have happened recently in Upper Egypt. The reasons, in my opinion, not only refer to education, but also to the media influence. Because a large part of women society do not work, they spend long times watching TV or listening to the radio. Rich families or the families whose heads worked in the Gulf area have videos. Perhaps, that Justifies why the government uses radio and TV widely to increase the women awareness in the cases of overpopulation and illiteracy. In spite of the government's tremendous efforts, I believe that Upper Egypt still needs more attention to focuse on the vital problems such as clean water, medical care and upgrading skills. With their great tolerance and determination, Seidi people can overcome their problems and continue to add to the Egyptian civilization.
posted
I'll be the first to admit I don't know that much about arranged marriages, but from what I have read, and from what I have heard from some (mostly Hindu) friends of mine, there are some advantages to it that don't exist in American society.
I think one of the hardest parts of meeting a good mate in America is precisely because of the thing I love so much about America. First there are tons of different types of people, different lifestyles, different religions. I love that.
And people *can* change classes, move up economically, and all of that. Not always easy, but it's done. So we end up with a huge mix of incomes and moral values. What a person looks like (materialistically) on the outside, or what type of job he holds, or even what church he goes to, isn't necessarily indicative of his true character.
So even though someone living down the street from me has a similar income level and material lifestyle as me, it doesn't necessarily mean that guy is going to share similar *values* and morals. I personally have had a *very* difficult time finding a man with similar values to me.
So in that respect, I like the part of arranged marriage where families know each other, know what a particular family has been through in life, as it might be a better indiciation of what that man thinks, feels, and cares about in life.
No system is perfect. But I do think if you find a mate with similar goals, morals, and outlook on life, you have a *much* better shot at a happy marriage.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
Sigh...it depends.Well in the villages the youngesters are "expected' to marry a cousin or a family member but that does not mean they will be forced to marry if they protest. Its something like this. Its all about the mentality...the girls are brought up in this way. They are born, go to school and taught the "way" things should be done according to their traditions. So once she reaches puberty all she thinks about is finding a husband.So whomever comes foreward to propose...mostly it will be a family member...she would not protest, why should she?Because they fear being single or ending up an old maid. On the other sometimes parents "promise" their kids to someone else....but it doesnt always turn out the way they intended.The kids grow up and have a mind of their own. In any case their is lots of ways to look at this topic...and class has nothing to do with it.Sometimes you will find so called high class marrying their own, because they want to keep the money or whatever prestige their is.Well this is my opinion...in any case in Egypt it is not half as badas in India.Now that is something to talk about.Gees the girls hang themselves there because they are very forceful...and some of them end up being burned by their spouses for bullshit reasons.Thats another topic
Posts: 723 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
Tiger, i can't help thinking. If my parents had arranged my marriage. They would most probably have made far better choices! Or at least advised and steered me in the right direction. There has always been a bit too much rebellion and a bit of a lousy belief system in my culture, in my oppinion. Nobody is imune and everybody suffers to some degree, liviing there. Statistically, marriage is actually dieing out there now. Sad but true. And the divorce rates cotinue to rise.
Posts: 461 | From: Kelantan, Malaysia | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic