I’ll tell my story shortly and hope for your advice!! I had Egyptian bf for 4 years. We had orfy but we were going to marry officially. I know all his relatives and friends, I lived with his family in his home. This summer we decided that I’ll leave everything here in my country and will come to Egypt to start our life together. I had nice work, beloved family and friends but I left everything and everybody for him. The reality of our life together turned out not like in my dreams… He left me at home and went to meet with other women. I knew it for sure. On the 5th day after I came I left. I loved him but I love myself too. I didn’t do anything for such treatment.
I don’t understand why he went so far? If he just played with me so what for to make me leave everything and come? I can’t leave it like this. So people I want revenge!!! I know most of you will say, leave it for Allah and He’ll know what to do with him. But I need to give him a good lesson!!!
Do you have any ideas how can I teach him? What can I do to make him understand that he must answer for his words and actions?
posted
Revenge is never a good option. So are you still in contact with him and are you still in Egypt?? I think you should just move on and forget about him I am sure you will find something better.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Hello brothers and sisters!!
I’ll tell my story shortly and hope for your advice!! I had Egyptian bf for 4 years. We had orfy but we were going to marry officially. I know all his relatives and friends, I lived with his family in his home. This summer we decided that I’ll leave everything here in my country and will come to Egypt to start our life together. I had nice work, beloved family and friends but I left everything and everybody for him. The reality of our life together turned out not like in my dreams… He left me at home and went to meet with other women. I knew it for sure. On the 5th day after I came I left. I loved him but I love myself too. I didn’t do anything for such treatment.
I don’t understand why he went so far? If he just played with me so what for to make me leave everything and come? I can’t leave it like this. So people I want revenge!!! I know most of you will say, leave it for Allah and He’ll know what to do with him. But I need to give him a good lesson!!!
Do you have any ideas how can I teach him? What can I do to make him understand that he must answer for his words and actions?
Thanks that you read my story
If you love somebody, let him go, for if he returns, he was always yours. And if he doesn't, he never was.
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Hello brothers and sisters!!
I’ll tell my story shortly and hope for your advice!! I had Egyptian bf for 4 years. We had orfy but we were going to marry officially. I know all his relatives and friends, I lived with his family in his home. This summer we decided that I’ll leave everything here in my country and will come to Egypt to start our life together. I had nice work, beloved family and friends but I left everything and everybody for him. The reality of our life together turned out not like in my dreams… He left me at home and went to meet with other women. I knew it for sure. On the 5th day after I came I left. I loved him but I love myself too. I didn’t do anything for such treatment.
I don’t understand why he went so far? If he just played with me so what for to make me leave everything and come? I can’t leave it like this. So people I want revenge!!! I know most of you will say, leave it for Allah and He’ll know what to do with him. But I need to give him a good lesson!!!
Do you have any ideas how can I teach him? What can I do to make him understand that he must answer for his words and actions?
Thanks that you read my story
I know exactly how you feel .But you have to understand every man have mistakes so you have 2 option to forgive this mistake and make sure this never happend again or to revenge then you will lose alot and i mean it you will lose alot .for revenge its easy do the same find someone this will extremly destory him and he will feel much worse than you feel .But if you did this you will lose him for ever .i think woman can handel it but man never handel seeing his wife with another man .If you want my advice treat him better than you used to do .Do ever thing he ask .be more nicer to him .with the time he will know how you worth and what kind of mistake he did .if he kept going in this way cheating on you .just leave him .Belive me doing this will make him regret day and night for losing someone like you .but revenge will make him happy to get ride of you and i dont think you want to make him happy
posted
Paradise, the way he treated you is terrible but i agree with the others seeking revenge and trying to hurt him will not make you happy.. it will only bring you down to his level. The time you spend plotting your revenge is time you could be spending moving on and rebuilding your life. You know what the best ‘revenge’ would be.. to forgive and forget carry on with your life and be happy!
Posts: 201 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Mimmi, I took my bags and flight away without telling even good bye for him. I'm trying to forget him. But he nearly broke my life. He wrote me few sms with "I miss you, i will never love anybody like i loved you and other bla bla.." I posted here not in the heat of moment, situation took place few months ago already. I still can't calm down and leave it like this Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Mimmi, I took my bags and flight away without telling even good bye for him. I'm trying to forget him. But he nearly broke my life. He wrote me few sms with "I miss you, i will never love anybody like i loved you and other bla bla.." I posted here not in the heat of moment, situation took place few months ago already. I still can't calm down and leave it like this
i agree with Leila, There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. coz in taking revenge, you are but even with ur enemy; but in passing it over, you are superior. And please let him go, if he returns, he was always yours. And if he doesn't, he never was.
posted
Guys, thank you all for answering!! Each your word is right!!!!!!! I began new life already, i began to look at other men (like i never did before) , i go out and enjoy. I think i need more time... And i'll be able to forgive and forget him. Just i'm so sorry for time and feelings i lost on him. My best ages... Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Paradise: You can hurt him if you want .. there is an easy way to do that.. if you know where about he works,, you can contact his boss and people at work.. if they do not about the orfyi martriage .. well you might do not know that ORFI is not respectable behaviour in Egypt ,, and it is consdired as comitting adultry .. no one respect any women or man who does an orfi marriage in Egypt .. so you can use this card ,, see who are the people who did not know about that and you can destroy his carrier if you want .. if he runs his own business ythen belive me he can loose his own customers.. if he work for a company ,, then his carreer will be stand still... well contact me if you want ,, I might come with more ideas for you ,,
Posts: 1373 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Dear Paradise, I understand you must feel soo bad and hurt but move on and forget about him. Tell him he had his chance but he lost it and wish hime a nice life and let it go after that. Look for something better you are worth more.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by mohsen1000: Paradise: You can hurt him if you want .. there is an easy way to do that.. if you know where about he works,, you can contact his boss and people at work.. if they do not about the orfyi martriage .. well you might do not know that ORFI is not respectable behaviour in Egypt ,, and it is consdired as comitting adultry .. no one respect any women or man who does an orfi marriage in Egypt .. so you can use this card ,, see who are the people who did not know about that and you can destroy his carrier if you want .. if he runs his own business ythen belive me he can loose his own customers.. if he work for a company ,, then his carreer will be stand still... well contact me if you want ,, I might come with more ideas for you ,,
Paradise, no please As lost said this will make him happy to get ride of you!
posted
Paradise: You already made your mind and you already still have same decision after many months.. so if you still fell hurt then do one thing .. revenge ,, do not listen to any one who is trying to be wise and clever ,, as they did not have same bad experince that you had .. so go ahead and revenge .. that would make you feel better and will help you to concntrate on other things in life..
Posts: 1373 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by mohsen1000: Paradise: ,, as they did not have same bad experince that you had .. ..
no we had, (it doesn’t always have to be about love) . but didn’t spend the whole time express our suffer and wonder why this happened, we have things to do and want to move on
[This message has been edited by doudd (edited 20 September 2005).]
quote:Originally posted by someone_lost: you have 2 option to forgive this mistake and make sure this never happend again or to revenge then you will lose alot and i mean it you will lose alot . But if you did this you will lose him for ever .
someone_lost, i left him already and don't want to be with him again. Bc not nice situations happened before but i forgave him and he sweared and promised that he'll never repeat again, but........ When he wrote me sms asking how am i and so on at first i didn't want to answer at all but then i answered that i'm fine and that i have new work and that everything tamam. I answered just bc didn't want him to think that i killed myself here. I mean i let him go but i don't need him to return. I want revenge just to show that i'm woman with feelings, soul and can stand up for myself. I don't want just to swallow this his treatment.
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: someone_lost, i left him already and don't want to be with him again. Bc not nice situations happened before but i forgave him and he sweared and promised that he'll never repeat again, but........ When he wrote me sms asking how am i and so on at first i didn't want to answer at all but then i answered that i'm fine and that i have new work and that everything tamam. I answered just bc didn't want him to think that i killed myself here. I mean i let him go but i don't need him to return. I want revenge just to show that i'm woman with feelings, soul and can stand up for myself. I don't want just to swallow this his treatment.
posted
There are web sites designed foe people such as paradise....you can add his photo and warn off other women who may fall for his charms..... Posts: 290 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
Paradise, it sounds like you cannot move on with your life and close this door without doing something about this man. Christ is after you walked out and after what he had done all he could manage was a B****y sms then no wonder you are still seathing.
It is Ok sometimes in life to be noble and honourable but sometime you have to stand up for yourself.
The other point is no doubt he will just carry on living his life this way lying in wait for his next target. Are we talking about a tourist gigalo here or a regular guy. As Mohsen says you can shame him with the ORFI but is this is a toursit area then that will not be much good. Does his family know how their son is carrying on his life?, you say you lived with them, can you not go to them. He is committing the worst sin of adultery....he should be shamed in front of all those who know him.
I think if it was me I would have a poster made with his photo with words to effect of ' warning this man is an adulterer ( gigalo, whatever you want to say) ', I would get a few friends together and go an stick them in every public place he is known including where he works.
If you shame him he will feel that more than any other feeling. Why should he get away with this behaviour. Society's need to start dealing with these issues again. Bring back the stocks!
posted
Valerie, Thank you I put him there already and met girls who consider themselves to be his wifes too... We have "fun-club" of his wifes. Hehehe. I'm going to put him in black list but i don't think that it'll worn somebody bc if girl's in love she'll never believe anybody except HIM. I read that forums for long but never thought that i will be in such situation... I thought "He'snotlikeall" Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Hello brothers and sisters!!
So people I want revenge!!! I know most of you will say, leave it for Allah and He’ll know what to do with him. But I need to give him a good lesson!!!
quite the contrary, the islamic principle holds that: "fil qasas 7ayat" which means you get a life out of revenge (of a criminal), and this guy is a careless criminal who should be punished according to islam, since we now go by islam in every breath we take! now this is a chauvinist who has to be hit hard in his biggest pride, the only thing he feels he's worth; his manhood!
quote:Originally posted by Penny: Paradise, it sounds like you cannot move on with your life and close this door without doing something about this man. Christ is after you walked out and after what he had done all he could manage was a B****y sms then no wonder you are still seathing.
It is Ok sometimes in life to be noble and honourable but sometime you have to stand up for yourself.
The other point is no doubt he will just carry on living his life this way lying in wait for his next target. Are we talking about a tourist gigalo here or a regular guy. As Mohsen says you can shame him with the ORFI but is this is a toursit area then that will not be much good. Does his family know how their son is carrying on his life?, you say you lived with them, can you not go to them. He is committing the worst sin of adultery....he should be shamed in front of all those who know him.
I think if it was me I would have a poster made with his photo with words to effect of ' warning this man is an adulterer ( gigalo, whatever you want to say) ', I would get a few friends together and go an stick them in every public place he is known including where he works.
If you shame him he will feel that more than any other feeling. Why should he get away with this behaviour. Society's need to start dealing with these issues again. Bring back the stocks!
Wouldn't work. By behaving in such a public way, she would shame herself and he could point to the poster and say..you see what I had to put up with? she's crazy. nobody would believe her.
and, don't ever try turn a family against their son. i'm sure there are already people from his village working with him and gossip travels far in egypt. either they don't care (they are, after all the ones they raised him) or there's nothing they can do about it because he's an adult. no need to humiliate them either way.
and i agree with others - the best revenge is the fact that this guy thought you loved him with all your heart, moved half way across the world, he thought he was going to walk all over you and what did you do? you left him without a word, a tear, and showed him he's not as great as he thinks he is.
best revenge is to have a good life without him and show him he couldn't make you as happy as someone else.
posted
Penny sounds very wise ofcourse and i do agree with what she says, i mean the revenge ofcourse .. the only thing seems his family are helping him in this scam,, pr they do not care about it at alll.may be they think that he is doing good business like that.. I do not think any respectable family will agree that their son has and ORFI wife.. so PARDAISE how did he introduce you to them ? what diod he call you ? a potentail wife or orfi wife or what? .. well I am not sure if the poster will work or not ,, but worth trying ,, but as I siad earlier shaming him in his work place will be the knock out .. rather than living area or with friends..etc well there are so many other evil ideas ,, as that you can report him to the police or to the authority that he USED you or take money out of you or..etc well the police in this case will request him to attend and they will give him hard time and give him good lessons as well.. there are so many ways as i said before to get your revenge.. but aat the end of the day I hope you had a good lesson yourself .. and by the way how did you met him ?? was it another online story .. or was it in a holiday trip to lucor or hurghadah???
Posts: 1373 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Thanks that you read my story
I think you should be very proud of yourself for leaving a bad situation! Many women don't.....or wait way too long to leave.....
I know it hurts now, but by leaving and getting distance, you've put yourself in a wonderful position to start healing. It may take some time, especially since you were together for four years...
And the best revenge, truly, is to lead a wonderfully happy, satisfying life. Sounds corny, but it's true..... Good luck.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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I prefectly understand how all these have affected you. Some say that revenge is a dish eaten cold and others say it's a dish eaten hot. I assume that each time it depends on the conditions that provoke revenge.
If I were you, I would have taken his credit card and buy a Mercedes I would have used a pair of scissors to tear up all this clothes and underwear. I would have emptied his favourite cologne (and any other stuff I could) into the toilet. I would have destroyed the furniture in our house so that he would have to buy new in case he wanted to take another wife. I would put a big notice in the most popular newspapers about our Orfi marriage. And I would have left him a note saying how much I love him. And then I would disappear and get back to my country the soonest the possible.
And the best: I would take him out of my heart and mind for the rest of my life. Don't let revenge get hold of your heart, Paradise. You have a new life now and revenge has no meaning, you said that you left Egypt months ago. Perhaps the best revenge of all is to have a good life and enjoy yourself. Leave misery to those who deserve it.
posted
Well, guys! I'm very much obliged to your attention! Mohsen1000, when i went out with his mother and she met some friends she introduced me like HIS wife. And we wore rings. He told me that his mother knew that we made orfi, but i don't know what he told to others. Any way i spent lot time with his relatives and never felt anything strange in their behaviour. What about HIM. He's from Cairo, but they have family hotel in Hurghada where he comes on holiday. 4 years ago i came to their hotel for holiday. We met. He studied for that he didn't spent in Hurghada lot time and everything was ok. But after he finished institut he went to Hurghada to help his father in business so he became an ordinary resort adulterer Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Yea i think to be happy without him is the best thing what i can do now. But i'm here, half Earth away from him! How'll he know that i'm successful and happy here?
Now i'm really feeling very proud that i found strength and could leave him!! I took one way ticket to Hurghada and was not easy to get ticket back here but i did it alhamdulilah! And HE even didn't call me to know where i am or what's with me. This makes me so angry!
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Yea i think to be happy without him is the best thing what i can do now. But i'm here, half Earth away from him! How'll he know that i'm successful and happy here?
Now i'm really feeling very proud that i found strength and could leave him!! I took one way ticket to Hurghada and was not easy to get ticket back here but i did it alhamdulilah! And HE even didn't call me to know where i am or what's with me. This makes me so angry!
he didn t call coz he is sure that u ll back to him after a while coz he thinks u can t take this step and leave him.
posted
If I had given up everything and this happened to me, I swear, before I left I would have cut up his clothes, arm off a shirt etc.. I propbably would have stayed for a fews days, been very nice and put stuff in his food and watch him eat it. I would have done a few things which he would not have realised until I had left, but at least he would have got the message!
Posts: 288 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
If I had given up everything and this happened to me, I swear, before I left I would have cut up his clothes, arm off a shirt etc.. I propbably would have stayed for a fews days, been very nice and put stuff in his food and watch him eat it. I would have done a few things which he would not have realised until I had left, but at least he would have got the message!
Posts: 288 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by doudd: Yes it is In our eastern society!
what is in our eastern society? oh, you mean double standards and chauvinism? of course man i agree, we are chavinistic bigots big time, and we're proud of it. thanks man for proving my point!
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Hello brothers and sisters!!
I’ll tell my story shortly and hope for your advice!! I had Egyptian bf for 4 years. We had orfy but we were going to marry officially. I know all his relatives and friends, I lived with his family in his home. This summer we decided that I’ll leave everything here in my country and will come to Egypt to start our life together. I had nice work, beloved family and friends but I left everything and everybody for him. The reality of our life together turned out not like in my dreams… He left me at home and went to meet with other women. I knew it for sure. On the 5th day after I came I left. I loved him but I love myself too. I didn’t do anything for such treatment.
I don’t understand why he went so far? If he just played with me so what for to make me leave everything and come? I can’t leave it like this. So people I want revenge!!! I know most of you will say, leave it for Allah and He’ll know what to do with him. But I need to give him a good lesson!!!
Do you have any ideas how can I teach him? What can I do to make him understand that he must answer for his words and actions?
Thanks that you read my story
Im so sorry love XXX
Option 1: The right thing to do. Look him straight in the eye and just say "I want a divorce because you dont love me" Then if he argues just say he simply not good enough and doesnt meet your high standards.
Option 2: The feel good thing to do. Have a PI take photos, get his whole family together for a nice meal. As everyone sits down just say you would like to make an announcement. Then whip out the photos of him and someone else. Nasty!!
May I know what proof you have of these girls? A lot of girls I know Husbands had girls calling them and texting them (they think its normal for these 'friends') Untill a few months into the marriage. Maybe its just a culture clash?
posted
Hire one a scndal expert woman, she will go to his work with a little girl on her shoulder, she will scream and claim he is her husband who left her with her daughtur withou money or food..ya lahwii el7aooni ya nas , el moftri el zalim sayebni ana wel3yal min ghair floos..yerdeeko ya nas.. dana elli lamaito min eshawari3 we safafee7 ezaebala, el nadl el gaban sayebna nesh7t we dair wara el sitat. ya laahwii a3mel eh ya khwati amot nafsi? tab aseeb el 3yal lemeen
He will pay her anything to shut her up...good luck!
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Mimmi, I took my bags and flight away without telling even good bye for him. I'm trying to forget him. But he nearly broke my life. He wrote me few sms with "I miss you, i will never love anybody like i loved you and other bla bla.." I posted here not in the heat of moment, situation took place few months ago already. I still can't calm down and leave it like this
quote:Originally posted by misfit: [QUOTE]Originally posted by doudd: [b] Yes it is In our eastern society!
what is in our eastern society? oh, you mean double standards and chauvinism? of course man i agree, we are chavinistic bigots big time, and we're proud of it. thanks man for proving my point! [/B][/QUOTE]
Firstly, i m a woman not a man Secondly, I agreed with u in the point that we woman has mistakes too but our eastern society doesn’t t forgive us if we did and consider that it is a right reserved exclusively for men and find him 1000 excuses to forgive .
quote:Originally posted by Troubles101: Hire one a scndal expert woman, she will go to his work with a little girl on her shoulder, she will scream and claim he is her husband who left her with her daughtur withou money or food..ya lahwii el7aooni ya nas , el moftri el zalim sayebni ana wel3yal min ghair floos..yerdeeko ya nas.. dana elli lamaito min eshawari3 we safafee7 ezaebala, el nadl el gaban sayebna nesh7t we dair wara el sitat. ya laahwii a3mel eh ya khwati amot nafsi? tab aseeb el 3yal lemeen
He will pay her anything to shut her up...good luck!
heheheh you watch too many arabic movies don't you
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by malak: I swear, before I left I would have cut up his clothes, arm off a shirt etc..
you also watch too many faten 7amama movies sorry to say that but it seems you girls don't really know how to hurt a man, well.. listen to me paradise, listen carefully dear, the biggest hurt you can give a man is to make him feel he's worth nothing sexually, that he doesn't move anything in you, make him feel you don't enjoy him at all, it's not a problem if you showed the opposite before, it will make him start wondering what went wrong..that would really hurt him, not tearing up his shirts like a mad woman, that can only make you look pathetic!
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: someone_lost, i left him already and don't want to be with him again. Bc not nice situations happened before but i forgave him and he sweared and promised that he'll never repeat again, but........ When he wrote me sms asking how am i and so on at first i didn't want to answer at all but then i answered that i'm fine and that i have new work and that everything tamam. I answered just bc didn't want him to think that i killed myself here. I mean i let him go but i don't need him to return. I want revenge just to show that i'm woman with feelings, soul and can stand up for myself. I don't want just to swallow this his treatment.
If you not both married go ahead and get another one .And this isnt revenge this starting new life .this is your right
posted
GROW UP ... you only have yourself to blame, yeah he swooned you, and like a horny dog, believed him. He is now someone else's problem, that is the best revenge. So thank your lucky stars that you got rid of him and its over.
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Your not going to teach him a lesson. Do you really think he will change and realize what he did was wrong, and your the only woman for him... what the hell are you smoking? In every relationship you should always be able to walk away. MOVE ON ... AND DON'T LOOK BACK. Its useless energy your wasting on him, and he doesn't deserve any more of your time. I wish I could thunk your head!!
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by crazylobo: Your not going to teach him a lesson. Do you really think he will change and realize what he did was wrong, and your the only woman for him... what the hell are you smoking? In every relationship you should always be able to walk away. MOVE ON ... AND DON'T LOOK BACK. Its useless energy your wasting on him, and he doesn't deserve any more of your time. I wish I could thunk your head!!
on other thoughts, i think this crazy one is right!
It seems to me that egytian men just love the thrill of the chase. Whenever i am totally loving, giving and lovely to my husband he just gets bored and wants to get away.
If i play hard to get and shut him out of my life in any way he suddenly becomes the devoted lover to me.
personally, i'm fed up with the games now and want to move ahead with my life. I suggest you try and do it too.
posted
Friends! I understand now that i left Egy too fast, but really in that time i was thinking just about how to get to my country and never see that sharmoot again. All of you give good ideas and ways to do! Now i'm on other part of Earth, he's in Egypt and i don't want to go there in near time. But I have information that he's going to come to my country to visit one of his "loves". I want to be prepared when he'll come and to take my chance for revenge!! Maybe it seems that i'm living now just thinking about him and my revenge. But it's not like that.
quote:Originally posted by *paradise*: Friends! I understand now that i left Egy too fast, but really in that time i was thinking just about how to get to my country and never see that sharmoot again. All of you give good ideas and ways to do! Now i'm on other part of Earth, he's in Egypt and i don't want to go there in near time. But I have information that he's going to come to my country to visit one of his "loves". I want to be prepared when he'll come and to take my chance for revenge!! Maybe it seems that i'm living now just thinking about him and my revenge. But it's not like that.
Any way thank you all for your opinion!
paradise, am afraid he may think you leaved to another guy as u left suddenly without telling him that u u ll do coz he is cheating on with other women and u knew.
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