posted
I know it has nothing to do with Egypt but...does anyone else find Chuck Norris jokes funny? I'm literally crying from laughter reading them.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Chuck Norris is watching.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
Saddam Hussein was toppled from power after inviting Chuck Norris to move to Iraq, proving that Saddam was trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Here is my favorite chuck norris joke ever.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
posted
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Laughing my ass off.
Posts: 5 | From: joliet | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
chuck norris tears cure cancer..... too bad hes never cried!
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
sorry.... just reading chuck norris jokes over my lunch!
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Charm El Feikh?: NO WAY..... when i was looking for that essex earthquake joke i found a great forum thread about chuck norris jokes.... i was roaring up!!!!
someone posted a "what would chuck norris do if".... then something.... and the next person had to answer it and post another scenario....
very funny....
just been reading it and choking on my sandwich....
the thread went to 185 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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