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Author Topic: Should I go for him? Need ur advice!
Micia
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Hi fellas..
What's up?
Hope all is great there with u...

Let me tell ya what I need ur advice on (it is a marriage thing):
- Now I met this guy (33 years)- who is working in a reputable corporation in the USA, TX, Houston- when he was in Egypt last month
- He started to have alot of feelings for me in a short period of time and asked to marry me
- Even though he is not my type or anything, but I managed to care alot for him n take things seriously

Now here is the problem (as usual): that guy is divorced and got a kid that he dosn't really get to see, due to problem with his mother (cases at court and such..)

I know deep inside me that he is a very good guy..i trust him alot, feel secure and comfortable with him..but the fact that he was married b4 kills me with suspicions no matter how much he tries to clarifies or discuss same with me...etc

Well, he is coming from the USA in 2 weeks(for me) for the engagement thing and all..but I am all confused and i am starting to like him...

Need u by my side pls..what do u think of it all?

Posts: 155 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Automatic
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quote:
Originally posted by Micia:
Hi fellas..
What's up?
Hope all is great there with u...

Let me tell ya what I need ur advice on (it is a marriage thing):
- Now I met this guy (33 years)- who is working in a reputable corporation in the USA, TX, Houston- when he was in Egypt last month
- He started to have alot of feelings for me in a short period of time and asked to marry me
- Even though he is not my type or anything, but I managed to care alot for him n take things seriously

Now here is the problem (as usual): that guy is divorced and got a kid that he dosn't really get to see, due to problem with his mother (cases at court and such..)

I know deep inside me that he is a very good guy..i trust him alot, feel secure and comfortable with him..but the fact that he was married b4 kills me with suspicions no matter how much he tries to clarifies or discuss same with me...etc

Well, he is coming from the USA in 2 weeks(for me) for the engagement thing and all..but I am all confused and i am starting to like him...

Need u by my side pls..what do u think of it all?

It wounds like you don't really know him. Get to know him well and then make up your mind.
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Micia
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quote:
Originally posted by Automatic:
quote:
Originally posted by Micia:
Hi fellas..
What's up?
Hope all is great there with u...

Let me tell ya what I need ur advice on (it is a marriage thing):
- Now I met this guy (33 years)- who is working in a reputable corporation in the USA, TX, Houston- when he was in Egypt last month
- He started to have alot of feelings for me in a short period of time and asked to marry me
- Even though he is not my type or anything, but I managed to care alot for him n take things seriously

Now here is the problem (as usual): that guy is divorced and got a kid that he dosn't really get to see, due to problem with his mother (cases at court and such..)

I know deep inside me that he is a very good guy..i trust him alot, feel secure and comfortable with him..but the fact that he was married b4 kills me with suspicions no matter how much he tries to clarifies or discuss same with me...etc

Well, he is coming from the USA in 2 weeks(for me) for the engagement thing and all..but I am all confused and i am starting to like him...

Need u by my side pls..what do u think of it all?

It wounds like you don't really know him. Get to know him well and then make up your mind.
We can never know all about guys..right? [Smile]
I guess I know alot..

Posts: 155 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daria1975
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Well, I'd be more concerned about only knowing the guy for a short time, rather than the fact he's divorced and has custody issues with his child. If he's divorced in the U.S. courts, it's easy to find the divorce decree to verify.

But my Egyptian husband is also divorced, has several children, and has all the custody issues going on as well. It's not ideal of course, but I got to see how he was as a father before I married him. The major thing to think about in this type of situation, is that he will always be financially obligated to care for that child, which almost means he's supporting two households once you marry. Dont' know if you can get it in Egypt, but I'm reading a really wonderful book called "The Enlightended Stepmother, Revolutionizing the Role." By Perdita Kirkness Norwood. The ISBN is 0-380-79604-X.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/038079604X/sr=1-1/qid=1153586114/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-8690016-7980616?ie=UTF8&s=books

It helps with all different situations, from living with the kids and being an instant mother, to only seeing them during summer visitations. It also tells you how to cope with his relationship with his child(ren).

Might be worth a read before you see him again. It might bring up issues you've never thought about. Good luck. [Smile]

Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
loborules
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a red flag .. a short time be very careful and of course YOUR only hearing his side of the story ...

i knew this one loser who swore up and down that his car got stolen, and how an ex got the car .. I asked for a police report and how did she get the title? he of course couldn't give the report nor any other information when in reality HE GAVE IT TO HER IN A SORRY ATTEMPT TO WIN HER BACK and then said she stole it ... he signed the title over to her ... duhhhh so lobo believes nothing ... just be careful ..

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Barbapapa
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I would be scared to marry someone I don't know well. The fact he's been married before isn't the biggest problem I think. It takes time to fully know someone, but at least you have to know much more about him, his culture, his family, his country, his personality before marrying him!
But you say you're getting engaged with him soon, so use this engagement time as much as you can to make sure he's the right one for you.

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maryxshehab
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hi barbapapa
u so right ABOUT WHAT U SAID ... AND LE ME PUT EXAMPEL I GOT MARRIED AFTER 3 YEARS KNOWN MY WIFE SHE LIVE IN US AND IM IN EGYPT AND WITH THIS LONG WAY WE KEEPT OUT LOVE YES WAS HARD SOMETIMES ... BUT THINK ABOUT IT UR LUCKY U HAVE HIM NEAR U CAN SEE OR TALKE TO HIM ANYTIME SO ASK UR HEART 1ST IF U LOVE HIM ... DO U SEE HIM THE MAN CAN TAKECARE OF U AND BE ALL UR LIFE AND FORGTING THE WORL WHEN HE HOLD U ... I GUSS ONE FALL NOT MEAN THE END WE ALL GET HARD TIMES IN LIFE .....ANY WAY THE TRUTH WILL MAKE THE WAY SHORTER FOR BOTH OF U SO BE SURE OF UR FEELING AND HIM TO MAYBE U GET MORE THAT U EVER THINK TO GOT IN LIFE ....GOOD LUCK FOR ALL

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Ngeg
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Hey Micia;
It's quite worrying as well that u didn't mention that u love him...STARTING TO LIKE him isn't a good enough reason to get engaged in two weeks.

Well, human beings were blessed with zillions of things but mostly important for you now is time and technology and u have both on yr side.

I think many ESers stood in yr shoes b4. But based on my personal experience I'd say long distance relationships need more time, effort and tricks to get u closer. Long distance also exaggerates feelings. Just keep that in mind.

Wish u all the best...

--------------------
Same crap...Different toilet

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Ngeg
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Sorry I couldnt Edit my post. So, the bottom line is: Yes go for him. Any decent man deserves a chance. Especially that u like him.

Just be cautious and take yr time..
Salam,
N

--------------------
Same crap...Different toilet

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ael_husseiny
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you wount ever find a good man like him again, chances comes once only in life. he deserves a second chance with you, its not his fault that his wife asked for a divorce

this could happen to any lady


go on and get him in ur side, he will be happy all life coz u granted him a chance

--------------------
samir

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Micia
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quote:
Originally posted by ael_husseiny:
you wount ever find a good man like him again, chances comes once only in life. he deserves a second chance with you, its not his fault that his wife asked for a divorce

this could happen to any lady


go on and get him in ur side, he will be happy all life coz u granted him a chance

A guy can easily say that, right? [Smile]
Well, I am actually considern what u said, coz that's what I think as well...
Pray for me!

Posts: 155 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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