posted
Hi all. Im rather new here and was wondering if anyone has gone through a similar experience (I'm glad I stumbled across EgyptSearch). Basically I moved to Cairo after about a year and a half in Doha. While I was in Doha I met an Egyptian expat and she seemed like the girl of my dreams, total click. Now, she's been back in Egypt for about two months after deciding that she was homesick. We discussed the whole marriage issue and agreed that we wanted to be married by July of '07. Well, to cut a long story short, I decided to leave my job in Doha in order to be closer to her. After being in Cairo now for almost two weeks I have come to the conclusion that she's not the same gal I fell in love with. Not only does she not want to spend as much time with me but she never told her parents about me. To add to the injury she's abiding by her parents' desire for her to get married and is now entertaining prospective grooms by going on dates with them!! This is where I need some help...She keeps telling me that she needs time to break the news to her parents that she was gong out with an American and then everything will be ok and we'll be on our blissful way. In the meantime, what? So far I've been relegated to the idiot in waiting.
Is this something that has happened to others? I think I need some suggestions as to whether I should find another person who's loyalty is more than skin deep. Am I stupid for still wanting to be with her?
Posts: 11 | From: Cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
You aren't an idiot and you aren't stupid. My advice to you is to forget about her and just move on. Pascha is right in her advice. This situation will get you nowhere fast and why wait around when there are many other sweet wonderful women out there? It doesn't sound as if your future with her is all that promising, and while you're waiting around for her to say yes, she is out and about living her life and who knows what or how often she thinks of you. The fact that she hasn't told her parents about you might be out of fear of their disapproval or because it is serving her own self at the moment. Go out and live your life and don't wait for something that may never happen. Good luck to you in the future. Posts: 820 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Hi Victor1975! Wow, what an interesting story you are telling us here on this forum, usually it's the other way around. Anyway, it doesn't look like she was that seriously with you from the beginning - or being back now with her parents she changed her mind and is obedient towards them. Anyway, be a man and move on as others already advised you. It says a lot if you already feel she's a different girl now than when you fell with her in love in the first place. Good luck in the future. And stick with expats, it's way less trouble! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Probably this girl means much to you, so try to clear things up; I mean, talk to her and make her explain her behaviour. I think she doesn't know what she wants; or she doesn't dare say to her family that she wants to marry a non-muslim man. Have you thought how it would be for you to convert for her sake? However, if she insists acting like she does, I think it would be better for you to go back to Doha. If she doesn't really love you, what do you want her for? Good luck and have faith in your self.
Posts: 327 | From: balad alnour | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Thanks a lot guys for the advice. I have given the thought of going back to Doha a lot of consideration. I did make a very well considered move to Cairo and would like to see what happens here even without having the woman I had originally come here for. As far as trying to talk to her it's as if I did something to offend her!? Dont get it. I think dumping her might be my only option, who knows, that may also be the only way she'd realize what a moron she's been.
NourHayati: For the record, I am actually muslim, as she is, but apparently that wasn't enough.
Posts: 11 | From: Cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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Go away from her!Well if u r wish to hurt urself more ,than stay,but I don't think that she'll back to u!Sometimes is really hard to understand ppl...so this time look at urself,not anyone else! But if she really loves u,after ur leaving,she'll find way to explain all to...Anyway,don't allow to her to play with ur heart-coz ur heart is most worthy...
Posts: 169 | From: somewhere | Registered: Oct 2006
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Victor, perhaps she is just too immature to be in a serious relationship that will consider marriage as the outcome? If she acts as if you did something to offend her, but won't come out and say it, puts you as the 'idiot in waiting' and is entertaining prospective 'grooms', can you imagine her state of mind in 5, 10 or 15 years? She can't even be open and honest with you NOW.
You sound like a relatively intelligent man who really deserves more than what it seems she is willing to offer. Or maybe she's waiting for you to pay the higher price for her? I wish you luck in whatever your decision may be.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Once again, thanks a lot guys for your advice. I'm mulling over "the phone call", but I think if anything it'll force her hand to reveal what her true mindset is. My what a couple of weeks in Cairo this has been!
Posts: 11 | From: Cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: Victor, perhaps she is just too immature to be in a serious relationship that will consider marriage as the outcome? If she acts as if you did something to offend her, but won't come out and say it, puts you as the 'idiot in waiting' and is entertaining prospective 'grooms', can you imagine her state of mind in 5, 10 or 15 years? She can't even be open and honest with you NOW.
You sound like a relatively intelligent man who really deserves more than what it seems she is willing to offer. Or maybe she's waiting for you to pay the higher price for her? I wish you luck in whatever your decision may be.
Someone is bored, I am waiting for another "Unknownmodel" to start up.
I guess we have to wait until someone jacks off over the Vancouver Sun's advertisement section.
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
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Sr. Nobody I am not. I am trying to enjoy my time in Cairo, or what's left of it. I just may end up staying just so Pascha can hypothesize some more..lol
Posts: 11 | From: Cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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Sorry..."She's just not that in to you". The fact that you are not Egyptian may have a part in it, but I would not force something that doesn't fit. Good Luck
Posts: 40 | From: cairo | Registered: Apr 2005
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Hello Victor, I think its over with her, sorry for that. However I think you should stay and enjoy cairo, obviously you came to be there for a reason and it would be a shame to leave before it is realized. Our lives are a compilation of our experiences so chalk this girl up in the lesson learned column and take the time to enjoy your new situation. Best of luck!
Posts: 1879 | From: Going to Graceland | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
It looks like I'll be in Cairo for a little, I guess it grew on me. I made 'the call' and ended it with her so at least now I can perhaps start something fresh here. Thanks a lot guys for pushing me to take the step.
Posts: 11 | From: Cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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Hi victor, Dont just go away because of a silly girl,get in touch maybe we could round up a few other fellows from here and hit downtown&have a ball,Cheers
quote:Originally posted by Victor1975: It looks like I'll be in Cairo for a little, I guess it grew on me. I made 'the call' and ended it with her so at least now I can perhaps start something fresh here. Thanks a lot guys for pushing me to take the step.
How did she take it? did she sound indifferent? or wasa she upset? or.....
Posts: 3128 | From: Not Your Heaven | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Victor1975: It looks like I'll be in Cairo for a little, I guess it grew on me. I made 'the call' and ended it with her so at least now I can perhaps start something fresh here. Thanks a lot guys for pushing me to take the step.
best of luck to you no matter what you do enjoy the sights while you're here Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
She actually was a little shocked when I told her I was disappointed (I think I used a stronger word) and decided to end it with her. She actually asked why. Of course I let her know it had to do with all the freakin' guys that she's "had" to see and the fact that I'm still unknown to her parents. After all that she asked me to give her some time but I just let her know that I don't have it in me to watch her bide her time with OTHER guys. I'm sure the story ain't over - I'd hate to beat a rather dead horse with you guys on another thread!! Perhaps I should searhc for another masreya? lol
Posts: 11 | From: Cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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You know it is more complicated with egyptian chicks. but then isn't is so complicated with chicks in general . It was really hard to break it to my family that I will marry an american and I met him in the US. It took a lot of finessing and plotting to figur out how to get them to accept him without disowning me.. yep it's pretty serious for us egyptians to keep that pharao blood;) And sure part of it was that he is american but I am sure i would have had almost as bad a battle if he was morrocan, saudi or palestinian. Anyways, at the end it comes down to communication between you two though, life will bring a lot of sh*t in your way and if you two can't stick together thru it.... This may have just been a good excercise to see how your bond is. But no seriously egytian chicks.... yikes alot of trouble... but worth it
I'll PMs you when we're in Cairo next week. My hubby can hook up with you and tell you about all the sh*t he has ( and still does) to put up with
-------------------- Without the serious possibility of error there can be no freedom; and in the long run, without freedom and independence there can be no real love. ~ Rudolf Frieling Posts: 39 | From: LA | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Victor1975: She actually was a little shocked when I told her I was disappointed (I think I used a stronger word) and decided to end it with her. She actually asked why. Of course I let her know it had to do with all the freakin' guys that she's "had" to see and the fact that I'm still unknown to her parents. After all that she asked me to give her some time but I just let her know that I don't have it in me to watch her bide her time with OTHER guys. I'm sure the story ain't over - I'd hate to beat a rather dead horse with you guys on another thread!! Perhaps I should searhc for another masreya? lol
Why another masreya?
anyway, if she ever loved you she'll get you back
"If you love someone, set them free; if they come back to you, it was meant to be".
Posts: 3128 | From: Not Your Heaven | Registered: Sep 2006
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