posted
Ahmed is a middle-aged man, poor as a poor man can be. All he owns are some cheap clothes, a roof above his head, and a bicycle. His bike is his most precious property, he keeps an eye on it all the time, and decorates it with plastic flowers, little merry go rounds, so he is quite an uncommon appearance, riding around on his colourfull vehicle. Ahmed is also handicapped.
People told me his story when I saw him the first time, coming daily, to do some easy jobs in the kitchen, in exchange for some food.
Ahmed wasn`t born this way. Once he was a big tall proud Egyptian, succesfull, he owned several shops, and always a pretty girlfriend on his side. He used to wear expensive suits, and as a personal characteristic, he always stuck a flower in the pocket on his chest. Ahmed is born colourfull, and probably will stay colourfull in his own way.
One day there was a big anniversary in town, and Ahmed and his girlfriend were drinking and celebrating. After to much liquor and intoxicated by it, suddenly he saw his girlfriend cheating. Ahmed lost control, drunk a lot more, stepped into his car, and got chrashed in an accident. Heavily wounded he was taken to hospital, and it took years to recover.
In the meanwhile his shops disappeared, his girlfriend married another man, he lost his house, his money and his friends ( in this order of rank), and all what`s left for him is an income on basic levels, and a limited life as a disabled person.
Ahmed is crazy, people told me, sometimes he gets weird.
Ahmed`s head is filled with thousands of memories about his succesfull past, thousands of plans he never will accomplish because of his restrictions, and he talks about it in a sort of mix of all the languages he ever spoke.
One time Ahmed was working in the kitchen, as I just entered. He nearly run over me, and I saw he was upset. He was in tears, yelled in all his different languages, and left, running and stumbling. I tried to stop him, but he was simply to much out of controll. Nobody could tell me what has happened, and it just was declared as: Ah, he is crazy. He will come back… Sure...
A short time later, Ahmed was there again, and he was sitting opposite to me, trying to talk. I noticed the other men were teasing him. They tried to make him angry on purpose, and there is not so much needed to get that done. Because he is aware of his problems to express. I became angry, preserved him, and soothed his coming angryness. Since that time, Ahmed is trying to protect me in his own heartfelt way. He warnes me for everything what possibly can happen. Liars, cheaters, abusers, sluggards, no man has any secret for me when Ahmed is around. Many times Ahmed is right, he isn`t that crazy as people think!
Today Ahmed was in a melancholic mood. He described his family, his town, his succesfull past and shaked his moody head. You know, he said, I think that Allah didn`t like what I did. I was rich, I had everything I ever wanted, but for me it was not enough. Still not enough. I wanted more, more, more. When people have a million, they want two million. And all is taken away…
You don`t have to own much to be happy, Ahmed, I answered. Look what you have! You have clothes, you have a house, you can eat, and you have your nice bike! Allah just warned you, if he really was angry at you, you would have died... You survived!
Yes, that`s true, he said and he shaked his head, I am contended... He smiled, satisfied; "Allah just warned me…"
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
It is very emotions story, really so sad story, I just read that story so much with my heart more than any thing else, I was sorry, sad for him and special how the people around him treat him and the only thing was in my mind one thing how can help him? And please if I can let me know, but later one I start looking for the lesson I can get out of that story :
1. The most destroying action for any person is his/her feeling and that really can destroy his/her life, in that story a woman with cold blood destroy a man without thinking twice. 2. Does not matter to be poor or rich, you always can look good and also see the beauty of life as Ahmed decorate his bike so the bike look good and he also look good, to enjoy his life also in any way he can.. 3. Satisfaction is the key for happiness. Be satisfied with what ever you have lot or nothing just satisfaction, so always just say in every second of the day "THANKS GOD FOR WHAT EVER I HAVE."
Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: 1. The most destroying action for any person is his/her feeling and that really can destroy his/her life, in that story a woman with cold blood destroy a man without thinking twice.
I would say that it was more the way he chose to react to the situation that destroyed his life. The woman made her choice and then the man made his too. He could have chosen to just walk away but he didn't.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: 1. The most destroying action for any person is his/her feeling and that really can destroy his/her life, in that story a woman with cold blood destroy a man without thinking twice.
I would say that it was more the way he chose to react to the situation that destroyed his life. The woman made her choice and then the man made his too. He could have chosen to just walk away but he didn't.
it does not matter if it was done by he or she, the basic is hurting feeling of people can lead to bad situations, you have to remember some people can stand up and keep going in their life but with deep injury and can lead to lose their trust of the other gender and some can not handle it and do the same as ahmed… if any one lost his money any material he or she can get them back but feelings can not be bought, so for me that was not right because if she really love him, she was never going to do that for him, she just love his life style and his money and when she find better life and more money she dump him in cold blood
Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
The moral of the storie is that not everything is what`s its like. Ahmed seems crazy, but he isn`t. He seemed rich, but he wasn`t. He thought he had friends,but he hadn`t. They took all he had away, while fighting for his life in hospital. And STILL all isn`t what its like. He has to live on the grace of others, but it isn`t a grace. They make fun of him, they laugh about him, and he hasn`t the capacity to do something against it. For one dinner-plate they`re amusing themselves. It is a sad story, indeed. It shows how bad people can be.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: Ahmed wasn`t born this way. Once he was a big tall proud Egyptian, succesfull, he owned several shops, and always a pretty girlfriend on his side ...
One day there was a big anniversary in town, and Ahmed and his girlfriend were drinking and celebrating. After to much liquor and intoxicated by it, suddenly he saw his girlfriend cheating. Ahmed lost control, drunk a lot more, stepped into his car, and got chrashed in an accident. Heavily wounded he was taken to hospital, and it took years to recover.
Ahly, you seem to be reading a story of your own into this one that I don't see.
I don't see this story saying anything about the girl he was out with that night having been in love with him or him being in love with her, or her using him and his wealth, or setting out deliberately to hurt him. He was out with one of his girlfriends and they were both drinking, she went off with someone else, he saw her, got more drunk, and then went off and crashed his car!
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
If he had no feelings for her, he shouldn`t care. He did, and he took to much liquor, because of frustration.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Was it feelings for her or feeling humiliated that she could go off with someone else that made him do that. What had happened to make her do that? Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
so as you see I was reading the story right not a story out of my imagination, man do not get frustrated or feel humiliated because of a women he never care for her left him or went out with another man, the reaction will be get another one and show her she is nothing "remember man are hunter by nature" but if he has feeling to her, he get hurts and humiliating because he tray to understand why? AND THAT CAN HAPPEN TO HIM OR HER DOES NOT MATTER THE GENDER
Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
What you are missing in my comments is that you instantly put the blame on the woman, saying that she had deliberately and cold-bloodedly destroyed him without thinking twice. Maybe she had had very good reason to leave him; he was already intoxicated when he saw her with someone else. You made it out to be all her fault that after seeing her that he had got drunk, crashed his car, and was in that condition. And you seemed to completely excuse him of any blame for what had happened to him.
Men can be humiliated just because they have lost face and due to the fact that a woman has dared to turn them down for someone else, whether or not they had any deep feelings for them. Not all men would turn to another woman to get revenge, lack of another woman at the point of his accident is not proof that he had deep feelings for the woman he was with. Or maybe he was on the way to find another woman when he got in his car, who knows?
And whether or not he did have feelings for the woman doesn't mean that he does not take responsibility for his own actions, especially not for drunk driving.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
I do not see any disagreement between what I meant or what you said? You turn the whole subject that I stand to his side as man and you stand for her as lady... fine but for me it does not matter if man did it and hurt a lady feelings it is WRONG AND NOTHING CAN JUSTIFY THAT SPECAIL WHEN SHE GIVE HIM HER HEART AND SOUL, same for any ladies
So it is not matter of man or woman, it is just your interruption for the store and my interruption for the story sure as man more to his side and you as woman more to her side and that normal But in general man when they are in love they are so weak for the one they love but woman can easy control their feelings, we had old say in Egypt where you leave:)? "Never marry the woman you love, but marry the woman she love you" than you will never be weak for her Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
I think it`s a difference between rational and emotional thinking. When you look the case in a rational way, you can say he drunk himself so it`s his own fault.When you look to it in a emotional way you`ll say it`s because he loved her that much, loss of face etc... Egyptians look at it in the emotional way. But also Egyptians are the ones who stole all he`s got, and teasing him so that he`ll lose his temper. What is good and what is wrong? Nobody can say, in both way`s there is a reasonable explanation.Brings me back to where I started: Not everyting is what`s its like...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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yes that true and i agree with your explination and our problems as egyptian, we are very high emotional people and we judge all by our emotional not with our brain
that why make the egyptian man the most romantic man just teasing you Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: So it is not matter of man or woman, it is just your interruption for the store and my interruption for the story sure as man more to his side and you as woman more to her side and that normal But in general man when they are in love they are so weak for the one they love but woman can easy control their feelings, we had old say in Egypt where you leave:)? "Never marry the woman you love, but marry the woman she love you" than you will never be weak for her
I wasn't actually siding on her side because she was a woman, but because you had put the blame on someone else for the accident rather than on the person who actually caused it.
And since when have women been the ones who are better at controlling their feelings when they are in love???? So from being tooooo emotional, they are suddenly the more controlled ones I know that an Egyptian man in love can be a like a puppy, but it really seems as if you have a skewed idea about women.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
OK, Let`s bring in some imaginary additional information, and let`s see if this changes your opinion about Ahmed, his girlfriend, and the man who caused that particular situation.( One way or another nobody has a meaning about him) Suppose Ahmed`s girlfriend here, was his wife!He was married with her for ages, they had children. In fact they looked like a happy couple. The third person was also Egyptian, and he knew Ahmed`s wife. He was poor, Ahmed was rich. He was sweet, Ahmed was the so-called succesfull businessman admired by everybody...His wife was the beautifull lady on the background...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Hey ????, you have changed the story completely, the first story was about a rich successful man who always had a one pretty girlfriend or another by his side, not a married family man.
Ok, if you want to play let's suppose...Ahmed is a player, he works in Sharm/Luxor. He was a big tall proud looking Egyptian, successful, he owned several shops (paid for by his orfi wives), but he always had a pretty girlfriend by his side. He is known to be successful with the women and was never known to have had a woman turn him down.
The girlfriend he was out with that night had agreed to go out with him, because she had just broken up with her fiancé. But while they were out she had a big argument with Ahmed as he was insulting her ex-fiancé and trying to get her to marry him as his last orfi wife had just run out of money. In the middle of the argument, who should appear but the ex-fiancé. The girl realized her mistake in going out with Ahmed and made up with her fiancé. So Ahmed got drunk by himself at the bar, as there was no one else around for him to talk to by then.
That sounds more like an ES story and that story fits more with the title Allah's warning!
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
It isn`t, I wanted to see how people give opinions about a story that has been told by only one person. Every medal has two sides, in my story there even is a third side. People read the story and form an opinion. But not everything is what it`s like, and to give a good opinion you should know the story`s from the second and third person too. In the reactions on the topic nobody paid any attention to the third person in the story. This 3rd one can play a major role in what has happened. Because my story is not over yet... Ahmed`s wife or girlfriend wasn`t the type of woman to have one night stands. She always had been a good wife for him. Ahmed knows that, and he regrets his former life-style. That`s why he felt guilty, and still feels guilty. Who is the good one, and who is the bad one? People are telling their story`s by as they see it. Very rare they are able to place a mirror and look in it. Haven`t I been stupid, mean, or what-so-ever too? What`s my own role in this play? It is all so one-sighted...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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You know what? you are too smart lady, really smart, I always in my life never heard story from one side always got it from both side and if have one side only I just never say my opinion because it will never reflect the true of what happen...but her I was emotional more than thinking twice and also, felt you got the whole story and no need for me to ask more and that your story was from different sides any way, I was wrong and yes no one judge or even advice unless he get the whole picture from all sides to smart and you got me on that one Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
All we hear here is one side of the story! I am glad to give advices, but when it`s coming to story`s, in fact we nearly can`t give advice, because we hear one side of the story, seen by their eyes. This doesn`t have to mean that it is not true, but a little bit "coloured" at least. Above that, a Western person will see it in a Western way, a Egyptian in an Egyptian way, the same with rational or emotional thinkers. I think it needs a lot to have an opinion anyway. BTW, wishing you and your angel all the best in the coming new year.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: So it is not matter of man or woman, it is just your interruption for the store and my interruption for the story sure as man more to his side and you as woman more to her side and that normal But in general man when they are in love they are so weak for the one they love but woman can easy control their feelings, we had old say in Egypt where you leave:)? "Never marry the woman you love, but marry the woman she love you" than you will never be weak for her
I wasn't actually siding on her side because she was a woman, but because you had put the blame on someone else for the accident rather than on the person who actually caused it.
And since when have women been the ones who are better at controlling their feelings when they are in love???? So from being tooooo emotional, they are suddenly the more controlled ones I know that an Egyptian man in love can be a like a puppy, but it really seems as if you have a skewed idea about women.
First of all please explain to me what you mean about that? "I know that an Egyptian man in love can be a like a puppy, but it really seems as if you have a skewed idea about women" Lets me explain for one thing it is very important, the nice little puppy follows his master where ever he goes and never say no" But Egyptian man is not puppy, Egyptian man they care, they love, they carry the responsibility, Egyptian man his family come as first priority for him, Egyptian man when he love? He cars for his partner feelings and tray all what he can to make her happy… Egyptian man gives shoulder… and on tope his partner will always feel and know very clear he is the man of the house not the opposite …the real Egyptian man make his partner always feel safe and secure and that is most important for any human been man or women. I never have any thing against women, how can I? She is my mom, my sisters, my love and the one I run to her so I can feel better…. My dad thought me something from long time when I was just a young boy? Never raise my hand on any lady what ever she do because if I do that I become not man enough at all and I am way from been a man, and I teach my kids the same…. So I am not that paranoid about man and women issue, I always does it with both is same nothing different
But if you judge Egyptian man depend the man play with Orfi marriage, that your problems and not me : )
Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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yes that true and i agree and that what i found in my life and that why i always perfer to know both side of the story
thank you so much and i wish you and your family, happy new year and 2007 all your dream come true Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: yes that true and i agree and that what i found in my life and that why i always perfer to know both side of the story
thank you so much and i wish you and your family, happy new year and 2007 all your dream come true
A friend once told me that there always has to be something left to dream of. That`s true, when there aren`t any dreams to forfill what`s left to live for? People need dreams, goals, aims and challenge! So, I wish you nearly all your dreams cometrue;)
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goals, aim, challenge sure i have and that give me the enrgy to keep going and sure i have dreams hope 2007 i make my dream come true, thank you so much for you kind wise words Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: First of all please explain to me what you mean about that? "I know that an Egyptian man in love can be a like a puppy, but it really seems as if you have a skewed idea about women"
Hi ahly, what I meant by that was that I was agreeing with you in that part of your post that I was quoting: But in general man when they are in love they are so weak for the one they love . I used the analogy of a puppy there to mean that they are very affectionate, loyal, protective, and try to do their best to make their wife happy. In the same way you had said that they were weak and just picked out one aspect of their expression of love, I did the same.
And I never said anything about you having anything against women or ever being aggressive to them. My comment about you having a skewed view of women was purely related to you saying: but woman can easy control their feelings as I don't agree with that. Women can be very weak when their heart has been won.
Btw. the reason I wrote that scenario above was due to the description that was given of Ahmed in the story. My personal image and experience of Egyptian men is so far from the one I wrote about above, as you may discover if you stay around this board a bit longer. Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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sorry for misunderstanding, but woman can really so milted in love but when they like to control their feelings they do and man some times never can control his feeling for sure not all of them but who in real love can not, to me women more stronger than the man, they can handle the pain special the physical one while the man are weak for the physical pain
Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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Ok a question for you newcomers since you on ES since 2002? What you think of it? And what make you stay on it for that long? For me it becomes frustrated and special after the last few days and what happen her?
Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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A lot of women visiting this board have bad expierences. Everybody gets dissappointments in life, in fields. And usually it is because you didn`t expect what`s happened. Everybody thinks all bad can happen, except not by themselves. That`s very strange, you hear it in all story`s, you know, you`re watching and you can`t believe it. It is the force of human mind that can bend it over, first to look around and bless yourself because there are so many people in even worse circumstances, later by acccepting. When you keep hanging in it, you have reasons to worry. In this case it isn`t fair to judge all men by what has happened to women. It is also not realistic. You just have to think that eveverybody gets his problems in life, and you`re supposed to take a lesson of it. In religious way some even think that it was God`s decision to let this happen. Because you were walking in the wrong way...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ahly: Ok a question for you newcomer since you on ES since 2002? What you think of it? And what make you stay on it for that long? For me it becomes frustrated and special after the last few days and what happen her?
I guess how much what goes on on ES affects you depends how you view ES. I guess I see it like an interactive long running tv drama, with real people, although the plots do sometimes seem as incredible as those on the soap operas! But you can dip in and out of whenever you want, and you can choose how much and when you get involved in it.
If you've been away for a while, it never takes long to pick up the storyline again, because there are many familiar themes that keep on repeating themselves in slightly different packages with different characters. But there are occasional surprises and some members that I relate to more than others.
I came here initially looking for information about living here in Egypt and stayed, mainly for the information sharing rather than to "make friends", although that has happened too. ES basically just gives me another perspective on life here in Egypt that supplements the one I am actually living.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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yes that very intersting and also i came out of interest on a site talk about egypt my home land and after a bit of time i felt i like to read more than i post... and yes it is intersting site but same time i found i can not goes in talks accept with few members such as you both...
if you both do not mind as europen and american leave in egypt or leaved in egypt? what your view of egypt, culture, way of leaving, eduction, political, econmey and people for sure ? Posts: 233 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2006
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Many times Ahmed is right, he isn`t that crazy as people think!
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I know that an Egyptian man in love can be a like a puppy, but it really seems as if you have a skewed idea about women.
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and that story fits more with the title Allah's warning!
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