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Im looking for answers from members that LIVE in Egypt or have INDEPTH knowledge of customs and life in Egypt to answer this question. My understanding is that most Muslim families in Egypt would NOT allow a woman to visit in their home with their son for an extended stay unless they are married. Is this true? I understand that in most cases Egyptians do not DATE per se. And the men and women don't spend a great deal of time in each others homes till an official marriage contract is signed allowing them the freedom to visit and go out alone more. Can someone enlighten me on the right custom. Ive seen where many women have gone to Egypt to visit and have stayed in their fiance/boyfriend/SO's homes with the family. Is this not looked down upon by neighbors and relatives? Can someone give me the facts. Thanks
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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You will get a better answer if you can state where abouts in Egypt and what class are the family because customs vary a great deal between location and for different classes.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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In small communities it is soon noted and reported to the police that a woman,not known to be a member of the family, is staying in a local house, and they promptly "pay a visit" and another reason is because they do not want the shame of neighbours gossip, plus other religious reasons
Posts: 319 | From: egypt/uk | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Tutandmoan: In small communities it is soon noted and reported to the police that a woman,not known to be a member of the family, is staying in a local house, and they promptly "pay a visit" and another reason is because they do not want the shame of neighbours gossip, plus other religious reasons
As much as i try,i cannot imagine police entering a private house just because it was informed that someone not belonging to the house is staying over I knew about rented flats or hotels,but at a family house?????? Posts: 1339 | From: Om Leito | Registered: Aug 2006
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I stayed with my inlaws in their home prior to and after marriage. Neither me nor my inlaws had any problems concerning this. My inlaws wanted to get to know me before agreeing to allow us to marry. What better way than to have me stay in their home? When I say my inlaws wanted to get to know me that also includes various aunts, uncles and cousins. I met several extended family members prior to marriage. We even stayed in an uncle's home in Cairo (we were in Cairo for site seeing and to marry at the ministry of justice) prior to marriage. Basically what I'm saying is...his family (immediate and extended) met and spent time with me in THEIR homes prior to and after we were married. My husband is not from a large city like Cairo or Alex, btw.
Not all families are alike just like here in the US. Some families are accepting and open minded and some are not.
Personally I couldn't marry into a family that I couldn't feel free with. This means staying with or freely visiting with.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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My husband lives in Cairo and we rented a flat for ourselves for when I went there. I slept in that flat alone before we were married and he joined me afterwards.
On a few occasions we went to his flat where he lives. The first time we went there we weren't inside more than 3 minutes when the other residents started banging on the door. There was a lot of yelling back and forth and then an old woman with big thick black khol under her eyes barged in and started yelling at me in Arabic. He told me she wanted proof that we were married. At that point we were indeed married but we didn't have the papers since it takes a good few weeks to get those papers. I kept showing her my wedding ring but she wasn't having any of it.
He called a few of his friends and his sisters (who were staying with a different relative because their dad had just died and it was too painful to be in the flat) and when his sisters finally got there they BLASTED this woman for doubting him. The police were indeed called but they never got to the door since by the time they got there the whole thing was resolved and the lady FINALLY had calmed down. She actually at the end was hugging and kissing me saying Mabrouk, mabrouk. *I* wasn't having any of THAT and just gave her the evil eye.
So it does depend on where you are in Egypt. He lives in a very strict islamic area which is why he insisted we rent a flat in a different part.
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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I also lived with my husband in his families' home about a week before marrying here in Egypt. Of course, we were never left alone and I mostly stayed with his sister. I've always kept a pretty low profile in this small city where we live so I don't think there was ever time to run into any problems...I think each family and situation is different.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I also stayed in my husbands family home before we were married for several days, seperate bedrooms of course but i was very welcomed into the home and lots of neighbors stopped by to see me, hehe especially the little girls(they would come and sit in the house and peek around the corner at me and giggle and then hide)
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In Cairo, places like Zamalek, Heliopolis, Maadi: in specific areas of those districts, you would have no problems. In a small area or village or what we call : alleys, it is not a good idea. If you OWN your place, or live with your family, or relatives and they are modern, you will have no problem.
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Thank you for the informative replies. To give more information, he llives in a newer section of Old Cairo. Im sure its a bit more traditional in its ways. He comes from a middle class family. His parents are not poor but not rich. They are comfortable. I think what we will do is just let his mother know Im coming for a visit..then have him casually suggest he's looking for decent rooms for me in nearby hotels. I think I want to let the inviting to her and not have him ASK. Im nervous about this part..lol. I know on several occassions he said they were a traditional Muslim Family. And for the longest time wasn't even sure if his parents would be offended if he got a cam. Now he has one...finally....no more net cafes for cam dates. Anyways, his mother and I TRY to talk on the phone but my arabic is horrible. So now, Im taking to writing her a letter, which he will then translate to her. In that I will suggest that I'd love to meet them in person the next time I come. And let the inviting to her. Im 99% sure they will invite me over at least to get to know me. In shaa Allah. I really want to take the time to build a relationship with her, just not sure how with the language barrier. Would be much easier in person with him THERE to translate.... Anyways...thank you for the responses. Seems it is mixed. Some stayed, some didn't and yet others were "blasted" by neighbors. (I sort of expected that could happen and didn't want his parents to be the brunt of "talk" in their own building)
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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By the way ...HI DOODLEBUG.... I know you from somewhere else..hehe...good to see you here to. Keep in touch...please.
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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Snow angel, it's as Penny said... everything depends on class.. even location depends on class. If you tell us the location we'll know the class. And middle class is divided into lower middle, middle middle, upper middle... you could even subdivide those into more categories. It's sad but true. (In your country you can probably also judge class by location.)
It's not really anything to do with religion, just level of income and education. I also stayed with my in laws many times during a 5 year 'courtship' and that was many years ago.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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Yes I can give u the area. I know its a newer part of Old Cairo..anyone know anything of the Misr El Qadima, El Zahraa Area??? What can you tell me? Middle class? What are the people like there...traditional or more progressive??
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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according to area so its traditional..,but i cant genarlize coz sure there is some people in this local areas dont care at all..
anyway according to this area i can say that most r traditional and mixed as i think from middle class and lower middle & there is lot of christians too live there at Misr El Qadima
Posts: 712 | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Tutandmoan: In small communities it is soon noted and reported to the police that a woman,not known to be a member of the family, is staying in a local house, and they promptly "pay a visit"
What the hell are you talking about? you obviousley have never lived in Egypt and don't know what you are talking about!!
As to answering the Question, NO women do not stay for an extended time at their "boyfriends" houses as it is WRONG and Egypt is not a "western" country! people have morals there.
Posts: 511 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Jun 2005
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I thought it was so that its more traditional area. THIS explains his hesitation on many things. With our age gap, me being American and his concern with how his parents would view things. I do know he's middle class. They are affording a complete renovation on their flat at this very moment.
Tarek, thank you. You confirmed what I believed to be true. I'm going to get blasted here for saying this...but. I'd be concerned if his parents jumped on the idea of having me stay there. I'd worry about how deep their faith and commitment to Islam is. I know if I was Egyptian, I wouldn't have a BF...he'd have to engage me first. Then till the contract is signed the couple have limited and supervised visits. Many sign the contract in advance of the wedding just to be able to be together more and have more rights to spend time together and get their flat ready. I think many egyptian families support a sons desires to move overseas and make a better life, therefore they allow more to happen than others may allow. They may take the gossip to assure their sons success. Personally, I think if a family is eager to have to come and shower u with gifts and stay in their home for an extended time, it CAN be a red flag. NOW, before everyone gets their panties into a ball....I said it CAN be....I know there are times it is not. But I do think it tells a bit about the depth of Islam that particular family practices. Why adhere to some of the commands and not ALL?? In Islam its forbidden to mix.
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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Hetsho, I figured a good amount of Christians lived there. My SO is very tolerant and knowledgable in that area. He also said some of his friends celebrated Christmas, so Im assuming they are Christian friends from his area. Hey...how close is this area to maadi and the Maadi Hotel??? Do you happen to know that..??? Anyone???
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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The senario you have described is what typically happens between an Egyptian couple, when the two of them are living in the same country. However, Islamically, when someone is travelling half way round the world to visit, the situation is somewhat different. They are then regarded as a traveller and should be afforded the hospitality that goes along with it, even if it means that a member of the family should always accompany them to ensure that the couple are never left alone together (this is how the gossip is excluded, by the family making sure that they chaperone the couple everywhere).
But as you are bringing Islam into the equation, it could be questionable in the first place for a woman to travel half way round the the world by herself anyway, without a mahram.
There are many ways that this situation could be viewed, depending on the interpretation of Islam people adhere to.
Btw. Tarek doesn't actually live in Egypt.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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Wa Alaikum elsalam OHHHHHHHHHHHhh LOL....I just spoke to my SO. He says alot of Christians do live in that area. THank you Newcomer for the information. That helps clarify it. Im hoping his parents will invite me to stay there when they find out Im coming. Yes Im aware that to travel without Mahram is frowned on. Does that apply to a 42 year old divorced woman as well? Just wondering. In the past his parents knew I visited and he came to the hotel lobby where we spent time talking and walking and seeing things. We were not accompanied by another at that time since we were in public at all times. I would assume if his parents had an issue with that one of them would have come with him. But they let him come to me alone. He is a very respectful man. He is always worried about my safety. The first year I was there I was soo shocked when he got upset that I took an innocent walk around the block without him. LOL Finally figured out WHY..... I guess you know WHY. Took me a while to learn but by year three I was getting the hang of it. Now I wait for him to get to the lobby and ring me before I leave my room. I love the hospitality of Egyptians. So Newcomer...its very possible that his parents MAY invite me THERE this time??? Thanks again.. Any more information is appreciated. I have learned alot..but obviously don't know it all.
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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There are several different interpretation on the subject of women travelling without a mahram, if you enter this into Google, it will give you a starting point to look at the subject: Islam+hadith+women+travel+mahram
My explanation about the hospitality was to clarify why it wasn't unIslamic for some of the other women to have been invited to stay with their future in-laws. As to whether your friend's family will invite you into their home as a guest or for a visit, that could depend on a number of factors, such as their feelings/understanding about your relationship with their son, whether they are the ones that have invited you to come to Egypt or if you are inviting yourself, whether they have enough space to invite you to stay (as most middle class Egyptians don't have a spare bedroom and, depending on the size of their home, they may not feel comfortable inviting a foreigner to stay), and what type of people they are (regardless of the fact that they are Muslims). I think that your friend is the one who can answer these questions better than any of us on this board, as we don't know know his family or their circumstances, so we can only speculate.
If I were you, I would just expect the unexpected, but not have any high hopes of being invited to come and stay in the family home,mainly because they haven't shown any indication of doing so in the past. If you are that is a bonus, if not, then you haven't lost anything.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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If you slept in a different area of the home and were supervised then what would be the wrong in staying in their home? My inlaws are good ppl with good morals and I stayed with them in their home. So you're saying my inlaws have low morals because I stayed with them prior to marriage? They preferred me staying with them instead of staying alone in a hotel or flat in a place I didn't know anything about. A place where I could've been harrassed being a single woman staying alone. Also, they preferred me being under their roof where they knew what was going on between their son and I. If I stayed in my own flat or hotel room we could've very well messed around without their knowledge.
What is more of a red flag to you....a family who accepts you and welcomes you in their home or a family who is ashamed of you because you're American and older than their son? Think about it. Not sure how one could marry someone whose family is ashamed of them because of their age and/or country of origin. Not sure how one could justify this "shame" by saying it's cultural/religious differences.
quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel:
Tarek, thank you. You confirmed what I believed to be true. I'm going to get blasted here for saying this...but. I'd be concerned if his parents jumped on the idea of having me stay there. I'd worry about how deep their faith and commitment to Islam is. I know if I was Egyptian, I wouldn't have a BF...he'd have to engage me first. Then till the contract is signed the couple have limited and supervised visits. Many sign the contract in advance of the wedding just to be able to be together more and have more rights to spend time together and get their flat ready. I think many egyptian families support a sons desires to move overseas and make a better life, therefore they allow more to happen than others may allow. They may take the gossip to assure their sons success. Personally, I think if a family is eager to have to come and shower u with gifts and stay in their home for an extended time, it CAN be a red flag. NOW, before everyone gets their panties into a ball....I said it CAN be....I know there are times it is not. But I do think it tells a bit about the depth of Islam that particular family practices. Why adhere to some of the commands and not ALL?? In Islam its forbidden to mix.
quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: Why adhere to some of the commands and not ALL?? In Islam its forbidden to mix.
Well if you're gonna go that route then shouldn't you have a wali present with you at all times? Did your wali approve of this guy yet? I have even been told by some on an islamic site that my marriage is not a true marriage because I didn't have a wali looking out for me from the start.
And to go further, it's haram to even speak to him via the internet or telephone.
I mean one can get very nit picky about what is and what is not acceptible in Islam but if you're gonna do a few things that are haram I don't know why you'd worry about the others, you know?
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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concerning the mahram traveling with the woman. In places other than an "islamic" country - a lot of people that convert from another religion and don't have any other muslims in their family - so who could act as their Mahram...or their wali. Most foreign women that I have met here in egypt and married to an egyptian man would fall into this category (including me), so I am just wondering. and if you got married prior to converting you would not have a wali either -
Posts: 1103 | From: 6th of October | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by doodlebug: [QUOTE] I have even been told by some on an islamic site that my marriage is not a true marriage because I didn't have a wali looking out for me from the start.
Assalamu alaykum doodlebug!
Just tell people that you married according to the law of the land, and that Egypt follows the Hanafi School of Fiqh in this regard. People are correct in what they are telling you according to most of the other schools of fiqh, as they don't allow marriage without a wali,
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by jean_bean: concerning the mahram traveling with the woman. In places other than an "islamic" country - a lot of people that convert from another religion and don't have any other muslims in their family - so who could act as their Mahram...or their wali. Most foreign women that I have met here in egypt and married to an egyptian man would fall into this category (including me), so I am just wondering. and if you got married prior to converting you would not have a wali either -
Well I am a convert but far from strict (though I was kind of strict when I first converted). If I were gonna follow every single solitary rule though, I would ask the imam of my mosque OR a trusted friend's relative to be my wali. Technically I would not have travelled alone and I would not have gotten married to my husband even since I would not have been chatting online in the first place.
That's what I mean...if you're gonna start talking about doing everything right...then you had best be doing everything right...otherwise don't be telling everyone what is and what is not haram, you know? If that even made sense. I have a headache. lol
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by doodlebug: [QUOTE] I have even been told by some on an islamic site that my marriage is not a true marriage because I didn't have a wali looking out for me from the start.
Assalamu alaykum doodlebug!
Just tell people that you married according to the law of the land, and that Egypt follows the Hanafi School of Fiqh in this regard. People are correct in what they are telling you according to most of the other schools of fiqh, as they don't allow marriage without a wali,
walaykum salam.
Thing is I did have a wali!!! lol. They objected to the way that the marriage was performed at the courthouse. They objected to the wali too since he is my husband's cousin who is an imam at a mosque in Cairo. I met with him right before we got married but they said that wasn't good enough.
I'm not worried about it, believe me. The site where people told me this is extremely strict and I am sooooo not. lol
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by jean_bean: concerning the mahram traveling with the woman. In places other than an "islamic" country - a lot of people that convert from another religion and don't have any other muslims in their family - so who could act as their Mahram...or their wali. Most foreign women that I have met here in egypt and married to an egyptian man would fall into this category (including me), so I am just wondering. and if you got married prior to converting you would not have a wali either -
Assalamu alaykum jean_bean!
As far as I know, prior to becoming a Muslim, your mahram and your wali would be your male relatives. After becoming a Muslim, your male relatives would still be your mahrams, in respect of the fact that you couldn't marry them and you could travel alone with them, but the Islamic head of the country/state/Islamic centre you are living in or one of his subordinates would be your wali for the purposes of marriage. You may also choose a wali from among the reputable Muslims for the purpose of marriage too.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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Good luck to you, snowangel, if you think it is fun to have your independence so restricted you can't tak a walk around the block. It would kill me. And believe me, I don't know a single Egyptian woman of 42 years of age who has to be accompanied by a male for a simple walk in the street.
Egypt is an agricultural society and women have always 'mixed' with men in the fields, villages, markets. It has never been a segregated society except in some upper class urban circles pre 20th century. There are MANY versions of Islam in different countries, each shaped by the customs and traditions of that country. Hence, four schools of law that contradict each other, and there would be many more if someone hadn't decided enough was enough at some point.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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When I read about the mehrem I know right away people who follow that, are very strict and religious. This does not apply all over Egypt. But Masr el Qaddeema is mostly lower middle to poor class. I do not think anyone that is used to a good life can take living there. Women go to work, take their children around they go out together to the movies and to restaurants. A man/mehrem with them all the time to protect them is in very poor areas or in areas where a lot of Khaliguis live fro other arab countries. Sorry!
Posts: 215 | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by citizen: Good luck to you, snowangel, if you think it is fun to have your independence so restricted you can't tak a walk around the block. It would kill me. And believe me, I don't know a single Egyptian woman of 42 years of age who has to be accompanied by a male for a simple walk in the street.
Egypt is an agricultural society and women have always 'mixed' with men in the fields, villages, markets. It has never been a segregated society except in some upper class urban circles pre 20th century. There are MANY versions of Islam in different countries, each shaped by the customs and traditions of that country. Hence, four schools of law that contradict each other, and there would be many more if someone hadn't decided enough was enough at some point.
It depends on the area. There are area`s where you`re not able to walk alone, without getting trouble with men. It`s for safety, not because she is not allowed or not-trusted.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Its about protection not restriction. And what independence is there...in a woman whose husband doesn't take responsibility for his household? When she has to go earn money cause he wont..then when she is divorced having to work hard to support her kids cause he wont'. What about the women who live in such poverty because the husband drinks away the family paycheck and doesn't want to take care of his responsibilities? Seems to me...these women are more restricted than I will ever be.
HOld up Doodlebug....I wasnt insinuating anything there. I was trying to point out that I'd have a problem with a family that JUMPED on the idea. Im talking about the red flag cases.
I don't know where you married at, but you don't need a wali to decide to marry if you were married before...only for the contract signing to look out for your best interest AND so to ensure you are not alone with a man you are not yet married to. Mixing IS ok WHILE supervised...UNSUPERVISED mixing is not allowed...i didn't use UNSUPERVISED in my post...sorry. When I Said if you are going to follow some of the commands why not follow them all? It was a thought question....not one of accusation. Sorry if I didn't make it clear.
And...I wasn't invited to stay there prior...cause I had planned my OWN trips...LONG before conversion. WE didn't give his parents time to invite. This is the first year its even on the table. And by my comment on red flags..it goes along with what someone said about it depends on the family, do they have room, resources, where they live and their own perceptions of things. After the horror stories I hear of entire families getting involved to help their sons gain visas....Im a but suspicious. NOT to mean that ALL families have that hidden agenda.
Marhem initially is the girls father, if he isn't muslim or alive then her brother, if he isn't muslim or alive then an uncle. Then the head of state as stated in one post can act as Wali.
Doodlebug
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: I don't know where you married at, but you don't need a wali to decide to marry if you were married before...only for the contract signing to look out for your best interest AND so to ensure you are not alone with a man you are not yet married to.
Well I think there are differing opinions on this. I personally believe that if a woman is over a certain age and has been married once before she doesn't need a wali, but many , especially on a certain website I used to frequent, believe that divorced or not, old or young, a woman definitely needs a wali.
Anyway it's water under the dam now. I'm sure you'll be fine visiting them. The only reason we got the third degree from that woman is because his sisters were not there, his parents are dead and we were the only two people in the flat. Had his sisters been there at the time they wouldn't have even made a fuss at all. If you are going to be there with his whole family you'll be fine. Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by jean_bean: concerning the mahram traveling with the woman. In places other than an "islamic" country - a lot of people that convert from another religion and don't have any other muslims in their family - so who could act as their Mahram...or their wali. Most foreign women that I have met here in egypt and married to an egyptian man would fall into this category (including me), so I am just wondering. and if you got married prior to converting you would not have a wali either -
Well I am a convert but far from strict (though I was kind of strict when I first converted). If I were gonna follow every single solitary rule though, I would ask the imam of my mosque OR a trusted friend's relative to be my wali. Technically I would not have travelled alone and I would not have gotten married to my husband even since I would not have been chatting online in the first place.
That's what I mean...if you're gonna start talking about doing everything right...then you had best be doing everything right...otherwise don't be telling everyone what is and what is not haram, you know? If that even made sense. I have a headache. lol
I agree with doodle, but I have found that we new converts tend to be kind of extreme when it comes to a lot of things without using logic and thinking them through. I'm sure she will calm down in a couple of years and fall into her own identity and beliefs as a Muslim soon God-willing. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: Its about protection not restriction. And what independence is there...in a woman whose husband doesn't take responsibility for his household? When she has to go earn money cause he wont..then when she is divorced having to work hard to support her kids cause he wont'. What about the women who live in such poverty because the husband drinks away the family paycheck and doesn't want to take care of his responsibilities? Seems to me...these women are more restricted than I will ever be.
Protection from what exactly? As mentioned on here time and time again, Egypt is a very safe country. Nobody is going to attack you if you take a walk around the block and I'm sure the area your hotel was in was not a 'dangerous' one.
I"m not sure how we jumped from there to men drinking and women living in poverty, but anyway 24% of households in Egypt are headed by females, another large percentage are female maintained, and females contribute to most households (either paid or unpaid). Certainly in rural areas, women's contribution to the household economy is equal to men's (though it is very likely unpaid). In urban areas only the very rich can afford not to have both parents working if there are children to be educated.
You seem to be making assumptions that all Egyptian men are good providers... not true I'm afraid.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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It`s just the way of living in traditional neighbourhoods.I know men who are having two jobs, while the woman is at home. They are uneducated, so there is no possibility to have a job anyway, as an illaterated woman with children. Indeed around the hotels a (Western) woman can walk safely alone, but in this kind of neighbourhoods she will at least cause commotion. I say at least...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I agree with ya Smuck regarding the "new converts". I know that I have settled down quite a bit from wanting to be Ms Perfect Muslim, and it helped when I started getting away from the more fanatic groups. They could drive a person crazy or even to lose their faith alltogether.
Posts: 1103 | From: 6th of October | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by jean_bean: I agree with ya Smuck regarding the "new converts". I know that I have settled down quite a bit from wanting to be Ms Perfect Muslim, and it helped when I started getting away from the more fanatic groups. They could drive a person crazy or even to lose their faith alltogether.
Yes, I was almost discouraged *at first* because I exhausted myself from wanting to do everything PERFECTLY and not make any mistakes and overboard overboard overboard. In the end I realized we are all on a type of evolution of our beliefs and I don't have to PERFECT because that road allows me to grow and develop and learn. Otherwise I might have my eyes closed to some important things.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: It`s just the way of living in traditional neighbourhoods.I know men who are having two jobs, while the woman is at home. They are uneducated, so there is no possibility to have a job anyway, as an illaterated woman with children.
By 'traditional', I guess you mean 'poor'. NGOs working in these neighbourhoods will tell you that they work almost exclusively with women, mostly widows, or abandoned by husbands, or younger women with older sick husbands who can't/don't work. The illiterate work as maids or sell vegetables on street corners. Many have 'cottage' industries like sewing at home for local shops, pickling vegetables to be sold in local grocers etc. Keeping chickens on the roof for family consumption and sale. Women who have not been educated, because their families believed they would be supported their whole lives by men, are forced to find ways to support their children, and they do. Many also support their husbands' businesses e.g. helping out a few hours in a kiosk/shop or preparing vegetables for the ful and taamiya stall, all unpaid. They themselves don't even recognise it as work, just 'helping'.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
When I visited my bf in cairo, he asked me to stay in his home. He lived with his mom and 2 bro. They were really welcomed me warmly. His mom treated me like her own daughter, many couple of times she called me 'binty'. I slept in my bf's room, and he slept in 1 room with his mom and 2 bro, cause we're not married. When I was there, his other bro who lived in their other houses came to see me with their cute kids. I was so busy to welcome them too .
The neighbour in the same building of the apartment surely thought that I have got married. His mom told me that the neighbor said "ooh you got foreign daughter in law with beauty hair."
I am lucky Posts: 756 | From: ...be solution... | Registered: Jul 2007
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I knew about rented flats or hotels,but at a family house?????? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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I've always kept a pretty low profile in this small city where we live so I don't think there was ever time to run into any problems...I think each family and situation is different.
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