posted
Is falling in love on the internet like falling in love with a gurl in a stripe club, what you see is not what you get ?!
Posts: 890 | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Korvin's: Is falling in love on the internet like falling in love with a gurl in a stripe club, what you see is not what you get ?!
So all those "Muslim matrimonial" sites are filled with gurls who are like strippers?
Or only the revert Muslimahs?
Secondly how would you know what a girl from a strip club is like anyhow? Ever been to a strip club and had a conversation with a stripper?
Posts: 1455 | From: debtville | Registered: Dec 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
According to what I've read and what I've been told, when two muslims are seeing if they are compatible it's proper for the man to meet the woman with her guardian and in full hijab. If she's really strict then she's also wearing a jilbab on top of her clothing and it's going to be loose....so if you're talking about physical properties in terms of "what you see is not what you get" I don't see how it's any different.
If you mean how personalities are much more proper and rehearsed online than in real life then I tend to agree, though hopefully if you've met a few times and you've been talking daily for a long while the true personality will peak out from under the covers so to speak after a while. I know I act a lot more relaxed now than before I met my husband and so does he. We both show each other our good/bad/happy/sad sides now whereas in the beginning it was mostly just the good/happy stuff that shined through the webcam.
Again though not too much different than traditional dating where you put your best appearance on and then whammo once you're married the makeup comes off and the guy becomes more of a couch potato then that world traveling mountain climber he boasted about. lol
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
interesting point of view doodlebug. veil adds a new dimension i had not thought of before either.
Posts: 253 | From: canuk | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Doodlebug brings an opinion that is made by the intention that people are sincere, and they aren't always. The internet has an reputation that has to do with making things look like they aren't, with swindle, with lies. When the couple out of your example meets, they at least are sure that they both exist, that they are a man and a woman, and that there are relatives or guidances around. On the internet we'll never know. Even on this board there have been examples about things that have been exchanged in trust, and that were improperly used to hurt another later.At the moment they were exchanged one trusted the other, and later this proved to be wrongfully... So, I don't think the internet gives a real image. It could be, but it also could be exavtly the opposite...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
<IMHO>Its the same with all ways of meeting people, surely. Certainly when you first meet someone, whether 'romantic' or 'just friends' it takes a long while to get to know them, by whatever means - and do you ever really know someone anyway?
I used to have a rule of thumb - if you are dating a man, they can keep an act up for 12 months. After 12 months and 1 day they will let out something bad - show their temper or something - after 2 years you will get to hear about the 'deep dark secret' coz there always is one.
Now I'm older, I think, well we all have things to hide from other people, for whatever reason, not necessarily bad things, and life's too short
As for sharing knowledge in confidence and it getting round - well that's all too true 'in real'.
I was reading an article in a newspaper last week (regretably can't recall which) which said that research shows that people tend to be MORE honest on line than off line!
What you don't have on line is the 'gut feeling' about someone based on their looks, smell, accent which you can get from face to face. But how often is this the truth? Look at all those murderers etc out there who have normal folk fall in love with them, parent them, etc who have no clue about the 'real' person. </IMHO>
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
There is a well-known phenomene about women who fell in love just by being in contact by inmates that are sentenced to death. Most tragical stories, the women even marry such a guy. A criminal that often has done the most horrible things to other human beings: rapes, Murders, tortures, voilence, etc. The criminals are already sentenced, so they don't have to keep their deep dark secrets, and are able to vent their anger, their frustrations, their fears. They don't have that many contacts anymore, because such a life will make you lose friends and family, so they are gratefull at least there is one person prepared to listen. From one side it is more easy to be honest in virtual world, from the other side it also is easy to hide a lot. Having an online attitude also attracks people,or make people avoid such persons. I can easily imagine that most people wouldn't like to meet somebody they know online as a person that is provoking, insulting and nasty. Somebody who seems to be nice, polight and trustworthy should take away that natural obstacle. And I think being in frequent contact online, makes people forget they don't really know each other.... To make a link to Egyptian culture: As far as have expierenced, a man meeting a woman he knows by internet-contact would not be encouraged. It already is not common to meet anyway, but a western woman that is prepared to meet a man that she has never seen, is ready to cross the world to meet, already would have the reputation as 'easy'. It is defenitly different as it should be considered in our society, and even in our society it also is doubtful...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic