1. You say "bolice", "bebsi", and "botluck" " for "police", "pepsi" and "potluck"
2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.
3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
4. Your spouse is also your first cousin.
5. Your dad eats mensef with his hands and forces his son to "join the men."
6. You own a grocery store, liquor store, or gas station.
7. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the stress.
8. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
9. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth…and you only smoke MARLBOROS.
10. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
11. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
12. You say the letter "h" like "etch."
13. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
14. You gossip about your own family…with members of your own family.
15. You have more than 4 kids.
16. You eat humus at least 4 times a week.
17. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
18. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you.
19. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
20. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally corrupt.
21. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live on them.
22. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
23. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.
24. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.
25. You have 500, 000, 000 cousins.
26. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
27. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
28. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
29. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
30. You own and/or play a tubleh
31. Your middle name is your father's first name.
32. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
33. You play cards till the break of dawn.
34. You never run out of bizzer.
35. You can't have a meal without Arabic bread.
36. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread, "
37. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
38. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them.
39. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations.
40. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like "Susu, " Natoosheh, " or "Tuntooneh."
41. You have a difficult Arabic name to pronounce so you come up with an Americanized version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
43. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as he does.
44. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
45. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own own a successful business back home" even if you're an unemployed goat herder.
46. Your favorite food is warag dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
47. You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arabic related on CNN or PBS.
48. You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands
49. You have a uni-brow…and if you don't, you pluck it.
50. You bump Arabic music at all times!
51. You've heard Amr Diab's "Ya Nour el Ein" 764363 times in your lifetime.
52. You get pissed when an Arab is portrayed as a terrorist in a movie.
53. You go to an Arabic restaurant, tell the owner you're an Arab, and expect to get free food.
54. Your refer to your dad's friends as Amoo.
55. Your father is a doctor or engineer.
56. You order hot tea at Chilli's.
57. You have a houka as a centerpiece in your living room.
58. You have a Persian rug in every room.
59. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and pumpkin seeds.
60. You actually like yogurt drinks.
61. You either tip 2% or 50% but never 15%.
62. Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.
63. You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life.
64. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Arabic.
65. You wonder whether a cute girl is Arabic and go up to ask her just to start a conversation
66. You have to constantly remind your American friends to take off their shoes when they enter your house.
67. You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Mexican or Indian.
68. You can spot an Arab a mile away and they have spotted at you because they keep staring.
69. You have Thanksgiving dinner with rice and "bamiyah" (STEW)
70. After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their tea.
71. You walk down a street with Arab stores and you are trying to eavesdrop on others' Arabic conversations.
72. Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer.
73. You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out.
74. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room.
75. You have at least thirty cousins.
76. You have a 4 cousins, an uncle, a brother-in-law and 7 friends named Mohammed.
77. You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
78. You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal. ...all arbs are late all the time!
79. You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport.
80. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
81. You say bye 17 times on the phone.
82. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your uncles back home.
83. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
84. Your friends tell you to be quiet when you are on the phone with your family because now you are screaming at the top of your lungs.
85. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
86. You hide everything from your parents.
87. Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
88. You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
89. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
90. Everyone is a family friend
91. If you are male, you only date Westerners and even secretly get engaged to one to scare your family, until you finally end up marrying an Arabic girl.
92. If you are female, every guy you know dates Western girls who walk all over him, then when he's finally ready to get married, he comes to ask for you.
93. You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
94. You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
95. You still came back home to live with your parents after you graduate.
96. You teach Westerners swearwords in your Arabic.
97. You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on"
98. You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see at least twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
99. You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of…the royal family.
100. Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
101. You've had a shoe thrown at you by your mother.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I really have another Joke about the relation that exist between the Arabs and Egyptians!!
Some day a Saudi guy insulted an Egyptian man and told him"what the fack are you !!you are just a cow !! you eat every day beans on breakfast this is typical to what we feed cows and buffaloes! what really separate you from them ,you cow!" here the Saudi means beans to mean Fol(Fooool)the most famous Egyptian food ever ! Now the Egyptian replies to him"The seperation between us and the cows is the red sea!!"
Yes! beleive it or not!!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
I've seen lists like that but are more specific, such as You know you're Egyptian when or you know you're Lebanese when. I think these lists are better because as we have just been discussing recently it is silly to lump the Arabs together because they are in actual fact quite different. So for example number 16 doesn't apply to Egyptians because humus is not a staple in our diet at all.
And 67 doesn't apply to me. I would say that 99% of Aussies think I am Indian (and that includes Indians themselves ) and I am not insulted at all, in fact I take it as a compliment, Indians are beautiful!!! Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: I've seen lists like that but are more specific, such as You know you're Egyptian when or you know you're Lebanese when. I think these lists are better because as we have just been discussing recently it is silly to lump the Arabs together because they are in actual fact quite different.
But it would be also silly to think that all the Egyptians are the same because they are not. And of course not everything can apply to one person. Although I believe many things on the list are indeed typical for most Egyptians, it made me smile.
Btw simply exchange in #16 the word 'humus' with 'fuul' - that should work.
Btw, I was quite often ask in Egypt if I was Russian. Surely not a compliment. What do you think??
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: I've seen lists like that but are more specific, such as You know you're Egyptian when or you know you're Lebanese when. I think these lists are better because as we have just been discussing recently it is silly to lump the Arabs together because they are in actual fact quite different.
But it would be also silly to think that all the Egyptians are the same because they are not. And of course not everything can apply to one person. Although I believe many things on the list are indeed typical for most Egyptians, it made me smile.
Btw simply exchange in #16 the word 'humus' with 'fuul' - that should work.
Btw, I was quite often ask in Egypt if I was Russian. Surely not a compliment. What do you think??
While shopping in Cairo were local ladies do,i wasn´t even asked if i was Egyptian,i was quickly spoken to in Arabic by the lady shop attendant. followed by my huh? face.
Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: I've seen lists like that but are more specific, such as You know you're Egyptian when or you know you're Lebanese when. I think these lists are better because as we have just been discussing recently it is silly to lump the Arabs together because they are in actual fact quite different.
But it would be also silly to think that all the Egyptians are the same because they are not. And of course not everything can apply to one person. Although I believe many things on the list are indeed typical for most Egyptians, it made me smile.
Btw simply exchange in #16 the word 'humus' with 'fuul' - that should work.
Btw, I was quite often ask in Egypt if I was Russian. Surely not a compliment. What do you think??
humus and fuul are quite different Tiger
Why do you think being asked if you are a Russian is an insult by the way? From what I know Egyptians are ok with Russians and think they are beautiful
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
That is becasue in Sharm el shag they are half naked and having sex with all the boys Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: I don't recall saying only Russians!!! Where did I say only Russians... I was following the conversation you fucknig donkey!
7ayat CLEARLY stated Egyptians are ok with Russians... I stated the stereotype why... can you see how conversing works????
You really are beginning to annoy me... I have issues with stupid people you know!
That is what I want piss you off! Pig!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: You humour me with your stupidity and ignorance. You are obviously the village idiot.
I am just annoyed you follow me around like a pathetic puppy... can't you go play with somebody who likes you, or can't you find anybody?
The sheer fact you are an uneducated baladi boy trying to convince us otherwise is hilarious.
Please continue to make yourself look a fool... I will get the bobcorn.
I came to this topic before you ,you facken moron! You the one tracing me fackn idiot!! I am not trying to convince you with anything you facken pig!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: lmao... in one thread I am accused of never talking about my sex life therefore assuming I have none and then I am called a whore!!!
Oh the crazy world of ES.
I knew you were from Shubra!
I am not from Shoubra ,facker!! Shubra people is much cleaner and smarter than you ,facken moron!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
That is irony, right there... can you see it????
YOU call ME a moron!!! Dude, remember this is irony and your last example was not. It is quite simple really.
Ah, you call me immature... IRONIC
catch ya later baladi boy... I am off out to socialise with some intelligent Egyptians and pass on some of the stories you have tried to tell me today We like the laugh.
quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: That is irony, right there... can you see it????
YOU call ME a moron!!! Dude, remember this is irony and your last example was not. It is quite simple really.
Ah, you call me immature... IRONIC
catch ya later baladi boy... I am off out to socialise with some intelligent Egyptians and pass on some of the stories you have tried to tell me today We like the laugh.
Edhak
habla we masekoha Tabla
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
wow Akmed you did it again! mabruk. love the Arabic, does it mean what it says or is it a euphemism?
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I am I supposed to let people insult me and people from Shoubra and tell them ok insult me and people more!!!!!!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
i dunno, but you could use a better come back than pig and sharmota... so last season
Posts: 1248 | From: my sex is on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Registered: Aug 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lumpy butt: i dunno, but you could use a better come back than pig and sharmota... so last season
I did not use them untill she used them,she told me cos omak and I doubt if you know what it means and she was even in religion telling me that i am a closed minded person,and in another told me idiot ,immature,I can enumerate she started it
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
i'm sure whatever to LF will not upset her ... so why bother
Posts: 1248 | From: my sex is on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Registered: Aug 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lumpy butt: i dunno, but you could use a better come back than pig and sharmota... so last season
I did not use them untill she used them,she told me cos omak and I doubt if you know what it means and she was even in religion telling me that i am a closed minded person,and in another told me idiot ,immature,I can enumerate she started it
you said this to LF first: "That is what I want piss you off! Pig! "
then you said this: "I came to this topic before you ,you facken moron! You the one tracing me fackn idiot!! I am not trying to convince you with anything you facken pig! "
THEN she said this: "pmsl... cos omak " (and yes we know what it means )
to which YOU replied with this: "cos omek 3ala cos Aboky 3ala cosek ya sharmota "
and this: "I am not from Shoubra ,facker!! Shubra people is much cleaner and smarter than you ,facken moron! "
and this: "habla we masekoha Tabla "
and now you're saying she started it? You do seem to have a lot of trouble reading things in the right order dont you Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Thicko from Luxor here, I don't know what any of it means!!! And I thought my Arabic was coming on?
Posts: 430 | From: luxor | Registered: Apr 2008
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quote:Originally posted by ourluxor: Thicko from Luxor here, I don't know what any of it means!!! And I thought my Arabic was coming on?
whats a thicko? or do u mean sicko? heheh kidding
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Guys it ended up like this because this is ES. That's how topics always end.
It's like how Egyptians are always surprised when the summers are hot, they go "I can't believvvve how hot it is, or oh my god, the heat is just bizarre I've never seen anything like that!!!" and people Egypt's been simmering hot for more than seven thousand years, where is the element of surprise here? Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: Guys it ended up like this because this is ES. That's how topics always end.
It's like how Egyptians are always surprised when the summers are hot, they go "I can't believvvve how hot it is, or oh my god, the heat is just bizarre I've never seen anything like that!!!" and people Egypt's been simmering hot for more than seven thousand years, where is the element of surprise here?
Ha that's so true. People in New York used to get surprised when it would get cold and snow in the winter.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Ahmad shouldn't be upset since this is part of his ES training to acquire his certified membership. 'The spartan baby in the hot sun test' must be taken to the utermost I guess. Ma3lesh we've all been through this name calling thing somewhere on this forum, mine was mainly with King on the Religious threads, I think I was able to send him off to the Ancient Egypt threads and spare myself and Ayisha a lot of crap, UT is still hovering though, but she's somewhat contained. Ayisha and Ahmad are doing most of the Religious mental acrobats for the moment. Posts: 3219 | From: Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Dzosser, UT is immune, she passed all tests with flying colours and just sticks her fingers in her ears now and carries on Gotta admire her for that
I think Akmed fell out with me in religious threads now
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by * 7ayat *: Guys it ended up like this because this is ES. That's how topics always end.
It's like how Egyptians are always surprised when the summers are hot, they go "I can't believvvve how hot it is, or oh my god, the heat is just bizarre I've never seen anything like that!!!" and people Egypt's been simmering hot for more than seven thousand years, where is the element of surprise here?
posted
¨¨Ahmad shouldn't be upset since this is part of his ES training to acquire his certified membership. 'The spartan baby in the hot sun test' must be taken to the utermost I guess. ¨
Totally agree,Dsozzer.Ahmad is sweating his ES Certificate,though he´s still needs to go thru the more advanced ES inmersion phase yet. Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Know what people!!! I never in my daily life insulted a man or a woman ! I am making a lot of sins in this forum and no one has ever insulted me! Ah!!!This forum........ @Ayesha Is there any religious debate I am not aware of?!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
to Add: And this ut needs more attention from me! She do not reply to me! She only post new topics and never reply to my posts! My best time is when she said"NEVER MIND"lollll The problem I am not going to post from next Tuesday till 22/8 ,and the most problem of all is when School begins!!! this will be very big issue for me ,since in I stay at university from around 8:30 am to 7 pm ! Big issue!!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
to Add: And this ut needs more attention from me! She do not reply to me! She only post new topics and never reply to my posts! My best time is when she said"NEVER MIND"lollll The problem I am not going to post from next Tuesday till 22/8 ,and the most problem of all is when School begins!!! this will be very big issue for me ,since in I stay at university from around 8:30 am to 7 pm ! Big issue!!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
Btw, I went through my 'insane period (or phase)' on this forum, Ahmad - right after I joined. Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Makbeta: Btw, I went through my 'insane period (or phase)' on this forum, Ahmad - right after I joined.
It is my habbit to take a look at the forum every day at 6 ,7 or 8 am in the morning after I pray ,so I am in my best mental state of mind,but guess what,suddenly I see Satan dancing on the screen of my laptop! Hope this ends so soon! Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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