posted
I am a woman from the middle east not from egypt but somewhere else in the middle east and living in europe. I am inlove with an egyptian guy who is 6 years younger than me and living in egypt alex, he has never been married , i am a divorced woman with 2 kids. We are very much inlove and met eachother once in egypt 4 months ago. the whole started a year ago, and now we have decided to spend our lives together.. but things are not that simple that it should be, he didnt tell his family except his aunt, and his father but it seems that he has problem telling about our relation to his mother and that is really bothering me, he wants me to go to egypt and meet his family and they see me theirselve then give their bless or not.. i am really in a bad situation, cause I love this man sooo much and i can not loose him..please help me to know what shall i do when i meet his parents? how can i make a good impression concerning egyptian culture and values??
egypt lover in exile..
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[This message has been edited by waterlily (edited 22 September 2003).]
[This message has been edited by waterlily (edited 22 September 2003).]
posted
Hi WaterLily, It all depends on the family, some families accept and welcome their son choice, but majority will not. From your posting you mentioned that he did not tell his mother yet and that is alarming. To be honest with you his mother sounds like she is going to reject you, I might be wrong but you should consider that case. The question is, what is he going to do? is he going to side with you or just be the mum's boy?
Regarding how can you get his mother in your side if she gives you the chance, I think showing her how important her son is to you and how important she is too.
posted
Good advice Pito. I would only advise that you go Over The Top with respect for her and take her a present (LOL). You want her to like you, and don't leave any stone unturned in that regard.
Pito's question is right though. If she rejects you, it really isn't in your hands what to do, it is in your boyfriends hands. Find out what he will do. The answer to this will make a difference in the rest of your married life to him, as long as his mother is alive. Is she going to run his life forever, or can he stand up to her? Financially he may need her. Find out if that is so.
posted
Dear Waterlily, your words also touched my heart. I do not feel entitle to generalize as I do not know all Egyptian people so well, but what I can offer you is to share my own experience, which I hope could be of some help for you. Please write to me at albiabjad@yahoo.com Keep in touch. Albiabjad
Posts: 7 | From: Warsaw, Poland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
And does his father and his aunt accept you? Maybe if they like you, his mother will like you too.
Posts: 164 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Although the mother/family is a very important issue when it comes to tie the knot with an Egyptian, I know some, that married loved ones against the mother's wishes. Later, when a child came into the world everyone accepted the 'foreigner'...
However, being very nice to the mother will at least make things smoother! the gift is a great advice (from Debbie), it is actually a cultural thing all along the Mediterranean by the way, as most of you know: when you go to someone's house to visit for the first time you bring a gift. Try to find out what would she really appreciate!
Also, asking to see baby pictures of the son would be a good move, all mothers seem to adore that! and let her talk to you about her love for him !! But beware, it could end up to be an overnight thing ;-)!!
I hope things work out for you. I guess that most of all the members on this board are so romantic, so keep us posted with the events!
Wishing you a lot of energy;-)) Monica
quote:Originally posted by waterlily: I am a woman from the middle east not from egypt but somewhere else in the middle east and living in europe. I am inlove with an egyptian guy who is 6 years younger than me and living in egypt alex, he has never been married , i am a divorced woman with 2 kids. We are very much inlove and met eachother once in egypt 4 months ago. the whole started a year ago, and now we have decided to spend our lives together.. but things are not that simple that it should be, he didnt tell his family except his aunt, and his father but it seems that he has problem telling about our relation to his mother and that is really bothering me, he wants me to go to egypt and meet his family and they see me theirselve then give their bless or not.. i am really in a bad situation, cause I love this man sooo much and i can not loose him..please help me to know what shall i do when i meet his parents? how can i make a good impression concerning egyptian culture and values??
yes according to his words, we have no problem with the father, although the aunt, but his aunt told him he has to be 100% sure of that marriage before he takes any steps! well we'll see what happends when i get there and meet the big family
i will probably be there in the end of november.
thanks for the reply
waterlily
quote:Originally posted by Aaliyah:
And does his father and his aunt accept you? Maybe if they like you, his mother will like you too.
thanks for sharing your experiences with me, i really need that.. i will keep in touch
with regards
waterlily
quote:Originally posted by Albiabjad: Dear Waterlily, your words also touched my heart. I do not feel entitle to generalize as I do not know all Egyptian people so well, but what I can offer you is to share my own experience, which I hope could be of some help for you. Please write to me at albiabjad@yahoo.com Keep in touch. Albiabjad
thanks for the reply, i really appreciate that from you, well about his mother accepting me as her daughter inlaw we have had a long discussion and he believs she would love me when she meet me by person, and he will not tell her untill we meet in alexandria! and i am so anxcious about that meeting, imagine being in a strange country surounded by people whom i dont know.. it needs lots of gots to face that in real!
financially he doesnt need her mother as far as i know so i think that wouldnt be a bif issue to handle. by the way do u living in egypt? just curious anyway wish me luck
with regards
waterlily
quote:Originally posted by Debbie: Good advice Pito. I would only advise that you go Over The Top with respect for her and take her a present (LOL). You want her to like you, and don't leave any stone unturned in that regard.
Pito's question is right though. If she rejects you, it really isn't in your hands what to do, it is in your boyfriends hands. Find out what he will do. The answer to this will make a difference in the rest of your married life to him, as long as his mother is alive. Is she going to run his life forever, or can he stand up to her? Financially he may need her. Find out if that is so.
posted
[B]Dear Waterlily, It 's a very important article you got here, I am really sorry cuz I didn't join from the begining . my opinion that you got to be introduced to his mother by someone elese not her sun , her aunt for ex . normal introduction as a friend , to let her know you better and not taking a reaction on you , cuz if you act like an angel still she is going to refuse. one month or so knowing each other I am sure you can manage how to be a friend with another woman , then as soon as you break the barriers that were the real introduction takes place by her sun , preferring not to say that you us to know each other so that she wouldn't realize that you lied to her , maybe it doesn't seem honnest but still somethimes this is how you can manage with egyptians moms best of luck
posted
Dear freeman, sorry i replied this late i was away for sometime, so i just got back home. anyways i am going to meet this family, even his mother, and i think i will not lie to anybody...i just hate that even though it is for a good reason, the family either accept me for who i am or not, for him being ummarreid or younger doesnt make him to a better human being, if he really loves me he will convince his mother and ofcourse i will do my best to introduse myself and show her the real me no matter consequenses. i have to add this that my parents doesnt know what am i doing they dont know a thing! i know also if i tell them i am inlove with an egyptian younger man they will probably try to change my mind. and you know well how parents are specially middle eastern parents!
in short i hope everything is gonnna be fine and every part live happiely for ever and after ( we have a saying which says: it's free to make a wish specially for youth
thanks for yours advices freeman ohhh i forgot to say that i'm an egypt lover too...
peace
quote:Originally posted by freeman: [B]Dear Waterlily, It 's a very important article you got here, I am really sorry cuz I didn't join from the begining . my opinion that you got to be introduced to his mother by someone elese not her sun , her aunt for ex . normal introduction as a friend , to let her know you better and not taking a reaction on you , cuz if you act like an angel still she is going to refuse. one month or so knowing each other I am sure you can manage how to be a friend with another woman , then as soon as you break the barriers that were the real introduction takes place by her sun , preferring not to say that you us to know each other so that she wouldn't realize that you lied to her , maybe it doesn't seem honnest but still somethimes this is how you can manage with egyptians moms best of luck
[This message has been edited by waterlily (edited 05 October 2003).]
If you are from Middle East but not Arab, you would then have to be from one of 6 countries: Cyprus, Turkey, Armenia, Georgia, Azerbaijan or Israel. Have I narrowed it down?
My guess is Turkey
Laura
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Laura dear i'm afraid your guess is wrong! there are more countries in the middle east than those 6 u just mentioned, i think my nationality is irrelevant here. If your are a little bit curiouse take a look at the map so you will see it by urself.
but i can see that you are from alex right?
quote:Originally posted by Laura: Waterlilly,
If you are from Middle East but not Arab, you would then have to be from one of 6 countries: Cyprus, Turkey, Armenia, Georgia, Azerbaijan or Israel. Have I narrowed it down?
quote:Originally posted by waterlily: Laura dear i'm afraid your guess is wrong! there are more countries in the middle east than those 6 u just mentioned, i think my nationality is irrelevant here. If your are a little bit curiouse take a look at the map so you will see it by urself.
but i can see that you are from alex right?
I guess it all depend on "which map" you are looking at. Is Pakistan considered Middle East country??...hmmm lol
and I guess where I am from is "irrelevant" also
Laura
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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Map of middle eastern countries of course! Yes Pakistan is one of the countries in the middle east for your information Laura! but i am not from Pakistan, by the way Georgia or azarbayjan are not located in middle east!
waterlily
quote:Originally posted by Laura: I guess it all depend on "which map" you are looking at. Is Pakistan considered Middle East country??...hmmm lol
Map of middle eastern countries of course! Yes Pakistan is one of the countries in the middle east for your information Laura! but i am not from Pakistan, by the way Georgia or azarbayjan are not located in middle east!
waterlily
Just for your information there are literally THOUSANDS of maps of the Middle East and some include countries mentioned and otheres exclude them. It all depends on "which map" you are looking at! Anyways you are right, it is of no importance where you are from and I won't reply anymore to you since I have nothing to add to information already given you. Good Luck in making a good first impression with your boyfriends mom. Laura
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
salam, man injaro kheili tasadofi peyda kardam, kheili delam mikhad bedoonam che kardi, man ham dar masire ezdevaj ba yek mesri hastam, nemidoonam nazaret darmorede mesr chie, vali kheili doost daram ke baham dar tamas bashim,...i hope u can read my finglish Posts: 5 | Registered: May 2004
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what a coincidence!! wow an iranian messaging me here?? i am happy for that
so nav are you male or female? and i couldnt find your post to read, i have to tell you that i went to egypt at the begining of april with him because he came here and we went there together, i met the big family they are just ADORABLE i fell inlove with them all, and so they did i really love these people and their country and of course my habibi i am sure u will love it too, if u want to contact me u can contact me to my email amanda_s_s@hotmail.com
keep in touch waterlily
quote:Originally posted by nav: salam, man injaro kheili tasadofi peyda kardam, kheili delam mikhad bedoonam che kardi, man ham dar masire ezdevaj ba yek mesri hastam, nemidoonam nazaret darmorede mesr chie, vali kheili doost daram ke baham dar tamas bashim,...i hope u can read my finglish
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